It seems like I’m in one of those phases where I spend a little bit of time with lot of different games. This usually happens when I don’t have a “major” game to focus my time on. Though Ever Oasis was nearly the only thing I played for the final week of the month…
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Life is Strange (PS4) – The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. But that doesn’t make the choice any easier. Sorry, Chloe 🙁
The Wii U is dead and I’m the only person who liked it.
Okay, maybe not the only person, but some days it sure feels like it. Wii U lived a short and underwhelming life, but it was home to some of the best games that I’ve ever played. Super Mario Maker, Splatoon, Yoshi’s Woolly World, Xenoblade Chronicles X, et cetera, et cetera. It’s also host to some absolute stinkers. Games so bad that no person should ever have to suffer their existence.
Fortunately, these games are squirreled away in the depths of the eShop, where they can be forgotten and die without harming too many with their terribleness. It’s very much opposite the Wii, where there were rows and rows of awful shovelware populating store shelves, tricking naïve parents into buying the absolute worst games for their kids.
As a bit of a last hurrah before the Switch’s launch in a few days, here is a short list of six Wii U eShop games that nobody should ever play. Not that you would. Because you don’t own a Wii U. Jerk.
So why did I buy them, you ask? Either because I thought they may have some legitimate merit to them, or they were on sale for a dollar (give or take) and I figured they’d be good for a laugh. Your job is to figure out which is which!
Holy crow, 2017 is already flying by. It seems like it was just New Year’s Day, and already we’re in February. It’s gonna be Switch Day before we know it!
And that’s about the extent of my small talk abilities. That’s why I spend so much time playing video games alone instead of socializing with humans.
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Layers of Fear (PS4) – Appropriate that the first game I beat in 2017 is yet another spook-em-up walking simulator. I think I may have found my sub-genre. In an effort to try to toughen up a bit, I started playing with the lights off and headphones on. That lasted for half the game, at which point I simply could not take it any more. Anyway, I really liked it, and played through twice to get all the trophies.
Layers of Fear: Inheritance (PS4) – A DLC half-sequel for the game listed above. It was good, but much less frightening and also I needed to play through it three times for all the trophies. Though that’s really not such a big problem when the game can easily be run in under an hour.
Resident Evil 7 (PS4) – I was so excited for this scaled-down take on RE, and then about two hours in, I realized “oh, this is just a backwoods version of Alien: Isolation.” But then it quickly got much better and I got completely sucked in. Loved it. Can’t wait to play it again.
Day of the Tentacle Remastered (PS4) – There couldn’t have been a better time to accidentally subscribe to PS+. This was one of the free games for January, and though I own the original game, I haven’t played it in, oh, 20 years? It was wonderful to relive, and looked gorgeous on my giant HDTV. Absolutely perfect bit of nostalgia.
Shovel Knight (3DS) – I played Shovel Knight again. Surprise, surprise. But I did play New Game+ this time, which is v difficult.
Hey. November. It’s cold outside now. All the more reason to stay inside all the time and play video games. Except when it’s not and I go outside to play Pokémon Go.
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Pokémon Sun (3DS) – FINALLY. I haven’t been so excited about a game since Smash 4. And you know I’m not kidding because I tore through that sucker in only a week. Also, have you seen Crabominable yet??
Heaven Island (PC) – A VR walking simulator MMO. Note that I do not own a VR device, so half the experience was lost on me. But I still wandered around until I’d picked up enough apples and seashells to claim all of the “achievements.”
You Deserve (PC) – I think I would have liked this horror adventure a little more if it had run a little bit smoother. It pushed my PC a little harder than it really needed to. Oh, and also it’s got jumpscares placed in seemingly random spots just for the sake of cheap jumpscares. I put up lots more words about it yesterday.
Wario Land 2 (GBC) – I was itching for a replay, so that’s what I did. Considered taking the secret route to complete the game in five levels, but opted to go for good ol’ 100% in the end. I like Wario Land 2 that much.
Paper Mario: Color Splash (WiiU) – Quite a divisive game, though personally, I think it’s incredible. It’s not really much like the N64 or GameCube Paper Marios, but at the same time, it kind of is? Also, it’s super pretty and maybe the funniest game I’ve ever played. If I have one complaint to lobby against it, it’s that they spelled “colour” wrong.
I don’t know. I don’t have a lot to say about November. There weren’t many game releases this month (that I could afford, because PS4s are expensive), so I just got to start picking at all the stuff I bought in October.
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Yoshi’s Woolly World (WiiU) – An absolutely terrific game in every way. It’s beautiful, it has a soundtrack to die for, and it’s just a really great Yoshi game. Easily rivals the original in terms of quality. Please note that even though it’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen, it can be downright brutal. Especially the bonus stages. *shudder* I look forward to continuing to play it to see all the extra goodies it has to offer.
Undertale (PC) – I finally picked it up again and made it past the tutorial. OH. Now I understand why people love this game so much. It is absolutely brimming with charm, and really that’s all you need to get my seal of approval. I also like the “battle” system, despite there being hardly any actual battling in my pacifist run.
Obviously I bought Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII-3 last week, as I’ve been waiting impatiently for it for roughly a year. Pre-ordered it even, and got a bunch of free in-game gear for my troubles. It did not, however, come with the super-cool Tomb Raider costume and equipment, so I had to go out on the weekend and get me an Xbox Dollars card so that I could buy it.
After I bought that though, I still had a bunch of credit left on my account, and with nothing immediately striking my fancy, I decided to finally give in to temptation and get myself Minecraft: Xbox 360 Edition.
Best decision I’ve made in ages, as it turns out. Of course, I knew how much I liked playing Minecraft from the couch, as I spent a lot of time goofing around in the demo and playing it with my brother-in-law at his place. But I really cannot express how much more enjoyable I find Minecraft to be when I’m not shackled to my computer desk and the keyboard/mouse controls.
The really fun thing about it is that I since I played the demo so much, I was awarded half of the game’s achievements when I booted up the unlocked version. It kind of makes me wish I’d been even more diligent and unlocked them all via the demo version so I could have received them all in one fell swoop.
The only problem here is that now I’m probably going to spend all my free time playing Xbox Minecraft instead of other games. Of course, pretty much every video game is a waste of time, but at least you get a sense of accomplishment from games with more clearly defined objectives. Playing Minecraft alone is the comfort food of video games, but I guess it’s still more “productive” than watching TV or lying on the couch doing nothing all day.
What? You want to hear more about Lightning Returns? Maybe another day. I have a lot to say about that one. All positive, too.
Yes, that’s right. There is an audio recording of me singing in the video embedded below. You’ve been warned. Twice.
It’s been a long time since I’ve uploaded an FFV: The Ancient Cave video, and in that time I’ve pretty much forgotten what little I knew about the game. That leads to me almost being wiped on the first floor. I don’t know how long I’m going to continue banging my head against this one, but I’m not going to give up so easily!
In reality though, I mostly just recorded this because I felt like I should at least try to tie up some loose ends before I start up a new long-running series. I’ve been bitten by the Minecraft bug, and I feel like I should be documenting my attempts to defeat the Enderdragon on hardcore mode. So that’s going to happen eventually, but there’s going to be some more FFVAC before that comes around. Maybe even a little something else…
Wow, its been a while since my last post. Not a record by far, but almost two weeks is a long time in the current TE era. I’ve been pretty good about slapping something up every few days for some time now, even if it’s just a dumb photo that I found entertaining for a few fleeting moments.
In an effort to start getting though my gigantic backlog of books – Wait what? Books? Yes books. I have a lot of them, but I haven’t read most of them. Anyway, I’ve decided I want to read more, so this week I’ve been making an honest effort to always have a book with me on the bus. Whether I’ll keep going once I’ve finished my current book, I don’t know, but here’s hoping!
The lack of blogging around these parts can be attributed mostly entirely to Pokémon White 2. Obviously. I blame Game Freak for working in a rather extensive achievement system. For every objective you clear, you’re presented with a medal, and when you get so many medals, you get a rank up. It’s not actually deeper than Xbox achievements or PS3 trophies, but the fact that the game makes such a big deal out of the medals makes them that much more appealing to collect. Too bad some of the requirements are completely ludicrous. Check out the list here.
I’ve been working on a big new post over the last little while. I think it’s going to end up being this month’s article, if just to fill the hole. Unfortunately, it is about video games. But it’s a little different in that it’s something of a history lesson with a little review packaged in for those interested. I don’t know. It’s not something I care about enough to link to on my Facebook page or anything, but it’ll have to do.
I’ve been reading Monster Planet this week, the last of a trilogy whose first two parts I’ve already talked about at length. I said that I thought Island and Nation would make great movies, because both of them are pretty briskly-paced and feature a fairly original take on the zombie genre. However, Planet takes it up to eleven and goes into full-blown crazypants video game territory. Now, instead of the occasional smart zombie who can control the mindless masses of undead, there is a whole cadre of liches, each with a unique magic power. It’s gotten kinda ridiculous, but I’m already two-and-a-third books deep, might as well git ‘r done. Full write-up coming soon!
Speaking of spooky things and video games, I’ve begun playing Silent Hill 2 again to half-assedly get into the spirit of Halloween. I thought I was going to do it right this time, playing alone in the dark, but I messed that up. Since I’m playing the HD Collection edition, my experience is being totally controlled by achievements, and as such my current playthrough has been paired with some extensive map-making and step-by-step instructions on how to get through the game as quickly as possible. At the very least, by the time I’m done with it, I’ll have become a master of the game.
I borrowed my brother’s copy of Cubivore to round out my October gaming palette. While the camera is awful and the overall experience is a little shallower than I’d hoped, I think it’s good enough to slake my thirst for Tokyo Jungle. For now.
Have you watched the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon yet? It’s fairly good! Not quite as good as the new TMNT comic series, but it’s definitely worth watching. I will admit that I’m a little disappointed that its demographic skews considerably younger than the 2003 TMNT series. I blame Nickelodeon. Though I suppose the best way to revive a franchise is to make sure it’s what all the li’l kids want for Christmas. A world where Turtles are plastered on every damn thing again would be a world I’d love to live in.
Xbox Minecraft got a big update recently, which is enticing. The price didn’t get cut though, so I’m still not buyin’ it.
I’m bad at getting into the Halloween spirit. I haven’t watched a single cheesy 80’s slasher flick yet. I feel like I’m failing pretty hardcore as a nerd. The Wife is forcing me to take her to Paranormal Activity 4 this weekend though, so I guess that’s at least one “scary” movie for the season. I just have trouble committing myself to 90-120 minutes of uninterrupted watching.
I don’t have nearly as much trouble watching TV or Let’s Play videos. Over the last two weeks I have watched both seasons of Better Off Ted, most of Arrested Development‘s second season, and Brickroad’s Metal Gear LP. Ted is… well, it’s okay. I enjoyed it as much as I did because it co-stars Portia de Rossi and Andrea Anders, both of whom I find very funny. The list of actresses (or even actors, it’s not a sexist thing) I really like is pretty short, but those two are definitely on it. It should be obvious that I much prefer comediennes to “serious” actresses. I also love the way de Rossi pronounces the word “anything.”
I don’t think there’s anything else relevant I can say so that I can add another tag to this post.
I have so many images sitting in a folder on my desktop that are there specifically to be blogged about. For some reason though, I just cannot seem to get around to resizing, renaming, and uploading them. I’m looking at the folder right now and it’s taunting me, telling me I’m a lazy hack. And I kind of am, but that’s besides the point. Let’s talk about video games some more then.
I’m terrible at finishing video games. I have no idea what’s gone wrong with me lately, but it seems that I’m having a lot of trouble sticking with a game to the end. Oh, wait. This isn’t new at all. I could update that list with every game I’ve failed to complete to my level of satisfaction in 2012 so far, but I feel that doing so would probably cause me to break down and cry like a little girl. I suppose the backlog will be nice in the upcoming couple years where I won’t be able to afford new video games, but still. Ugh. I’m such a flake.
I think a lot of it stems from the fact that a lot of the games I really like are games that don’t really have well-defined win states. Take Monster Hunter Freedom: Unite for example. Technically, there are two monsters that are considered “final bosses” (one for online, one for offline), but even once they’re defeated there are still things to accomplish. Have you finished every single quest? Do you have all the Guild Card baubles? If you answered “yes” to both of those… wow, you’ve got a lot of free time. But you can still play online and there are a whole buttload of event quests that you can download for free. Basically, if you’re into it, you could restrict yourself to playing only MHFU and it could still last you for the better part of a year. And that’s before you start dicking around with stuff like self-imposed challenge runs. I shudder to think of what will happen to me if Monster Hunter Tri G actually makes its way overseas.
Theatrhythm Final Fantasy is similar, but different. Being a rhythm game, it’s already more about enjoying the music and getting high scores than finding the end. There’s a point where new content stops unlocking via rhythmia points, but those Dark Notes are randomized. For each Dark Note you beat, a new one is unlocked, so you could chase those forever. It’s not like you could even collect them all either, since you can only have up to 99 at any given time. Besides, I’m kind of curious to see if the rhythmia counter will roll past 999,999. Not that I’ll end up playing Theatrhythm that much or anything. After two weeks with the game I’m at just about 35,000rm, but it’s a burning curiosity. I’m sure someone in Japan has gotten that high and posted it on YouTube.
I suppose that technically Spelunky does have an ending, but I don’t think I’ll ever get there myself. Between the PC and Xbox versions, I’ve only made it to the temple stages two or three times, and never to the boss. So it’s kind of like there’s no end. But good gravy, that game is addictive. Besides, it’s secretly another high score game. Sure, you did pretty well that run, but don’t you think you could do better?
And then there’s Minecraft. I don’t know how, but I still sink entire nights into Minecraft. How is it that I keep going back to Minecraft, but haven’t even made it halfway through Xenoblade Chronicles? At this rate I probably won’t get past the intro of The Last Story when it’s finally released.
At the very least, I was able to stick with Final Fantasy XIII-2 to the end and even get all the achievements. That was pretty cool.