Journey to the southeast

Remember back in November when I posted a short list of video game goals I’ve set for myself? Well I haven’t completed any of them, but I’ve set myself down the path to a few! For one, I stayed up late one night plucking green stars in Super Mario Galaxy 2 and spent most of my Christmas break plowing through Batman: Arkham Asylum. Mostly though, I’ve been getting back into Fallout 3.

I picked it up again mostly because I feel like I should finish one massive open-world adventure before starting a new one (Skyrim), but I quickly remembered just how much I love playing it. I was a little worried that since I’d put it down for so long that I’d completely lose my bearing, but I got right back into it and had no trouble reorienting myself. I credit that mostly to the level of detail in the game, which allowed me to easily look up the quests I was working on and the places I’d been exploring.

I haven’t completed any quests that have elements outside of Megaton, and where the main story is concerned I haven’t even been to Galaxy News Radio yet. I do have a fairly long to-do list, though. While I’ve decided that my main objective is to find Rivet City (trying to find a new home for an orphaned boy), I constantly get distracted by other landmarks I pass by, especially since I’ve been trying to get there by going through the city. I’ve spent hours upon hours getting lost in the maze that is the ruins of the metro system.

After giving up on making my way through the ruins of D.C. I decided I’d head back to Megaton to sell off all my garbage and resupply. Form there I figured that I’d skip around the city and just head south, which is fairly open terrain. Not far from Megaton I ran into a pack of wastelanders who were unusually happy, and tried to sell me what they only described as “strange meat.” I declined, but one of them game me some for free, claiming I’d get hooked after one taste. I still haven’t eaten it.

Continuing southward, I came upon a small “town” which was just three houses among the rubble of a bigger community. I talked to a young boy there (he was the only person around when I arrived), and he told me that he thought it was strange that people who visited  never stayed long. I then talked to an old man who told me to run away and not to try getting into the shed behind his house.

Being the ever-curious wandered that I am, I waltzed over to the shed to see what was inside. Finding it locked, I was about to try to pick it when I heard a stern voice say “I hope you’re not planning on breaking into my shed.” I told him I was just passing through, and subsequently went into his house and had a chat with his wife. The both of them were a little odd; something was definitely up. So I went upstairs and stole the key to the shed. Before I got back downstairs, I overheard the woman telling her husband that she was suspicious of me and that he should keep an eye on me.

I then proceeded to wander back to the shed and went in. It was exactly as bad as I’d thought. The shed was filled with cages, torture devices, and fridges full of “strange meat.” Oh, and human skeletons were all over the place. I immediately left, and found myself surrounded by the couple and another man, all pointing weapons at me. I had more than enough weaponry on my person to take them, but I decided not to cause trouble and pretended that I was cool with what was going down in town. They put their weapons away and went back to their own business. Needless to say, it was time for me to get the hell out of Dodge.

I continued to the southern border of the capital wasteland and then eastward toward Rivet City. On my way there I helped the Brotherhood of Steel find some not-destroyed books in the Arlington Library and killed my first mirelurk king, among other things. Currently I stand at the door to the Citadel, staring out over the river at the silhouette of the huge ship that is Rivet City. While my trek seems like it’s nearing its end, I can’t imagine that whatever still lies between me and my destination is going to make that last leg easy. I’m sure looking forward to it though! Unless it’s super mutants. I’m sick of those guys.

Because I don’t stop talking about Monster Hunter

Okay, so Monster Hunter is about a million times bigger in Japan than it is here, but if you need more reasons to support Capcom bringing Portable 3rd over here, peep this:

I suppose Boss is pretty cool too, but I really want to hunt giant monsters as Snake! Come on guys, take one for the team and buy a copy or two of Monster Hunter Freedom Unite, even if you don’t own a PSP. (It’s a great reason to get a PSP though! Then we can play together!)

Also there’s some Monster Hunter stuff grafted into MGS: Peace Walker, if you’re interested.

Xmas notes

I’m highly considering writing up a full article about my christmas haul – for old time’s sake, if nothing else. There are a few related notes I don’t want to hold in. They are as follows:

  •  I wasn’t as excited about Christmas this year as I usually am. I’m not really sure why. Guess being old has ruined another thing for me.
  • Stephanie bought me Batman: Arkham City, which forced me to start burning through Arkham Asylum. I played it for roughly ten straight hours yesterday. Now I can’t wait to start Arkham City because it’s supposed to be even better, but how is that even possible?
  • Mario Kart 7 is great, but damn, do my hands cramp up when I play a 3DS game that uses the shoulder buttons a lot.
  • Just Dance 3 is not a good game for fatties. I only played two songs yesterday and I’m still a little winded.
  • This is a terrible time to cut down on junk food consumption. There are tubs and tubs of baking in the freezer, calling my name…
  • I only got two video games for Christmas. Not that I’m complaining, it just seems weird. Though not so much when I consider that I only asked for three.
  • I naively ventured out to pick up a copy of Skyrim yesterday (because I had a gift card). Waited in line at Gamestop for over half an hour. Boxing day/week people suck.

24 sentences of materialism

Alright kiddies! I totally forgot to do a “24 Days of Materialism” feature this year, and the best thing I could come up to sort of replace it is this: The 24 Sentences of Materialism. It’s basically the same concept, I choose 24 things I like and tell you to buy them, only this time I’m ripping off the long-dead Video Game Article‘s “One Sentence Reviews” feature. So here’s a list of video games, albums, books, and TV shows that I love and think you should buy for yourself or your loved ones (and also a link to a related webpage for each). Honestly, I think this is the hardest thing I’ve ever written. It’s terribly difficult to express everything I want to say about a product in only one sentence.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword – Take one part Ocarina of Time, one part Wind Waker, mix well, and then tweak everything just slightly: provides a surprisingly fresh Zelda experience!

2. Monster Hunter Freedom Unite – Why not help persuade Capcom to bring MH Portable 3rd or MH3G by picking up what is easily the best game in the series to date (that is available outside of Japan).

3. Groove Coaster – A rhythm game that’s incredibly simple, but will still suck you in with its trippy visuals and eclectic track selection.

4. Volchaos – A rather superb Xbox Indie game that brings back the glory days of video games: short, challenging levels, and a great sense of satisfaction when you get them right.

5. Fallout 3 – I don’t know why I don’t spend more time with this game; it’s so unlike anything else I play and all the more wonderful for it.

6. Super Mario 3D Land – The game that justifies the 3Ds’ existence.

7. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island – Getting this game (and The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap) for free because I paid too much for my 3DS makes it totally worth it.

8. Anima: Ark of Sinners – It’s not really very good, but you can see potential shining through the blandness and kludgy controls.

9. Tron Legacy Soundtrack – Oddly enough, this is probably my favourite music to listen to while playing Minecraft.

10. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – The Live Anthology – Just slightly less than four hours of pure delight.

11. Bound Together – Who could ask for more than an Earthbound tribute remix album?

12. Back in Blue – I love OC Remix but don’t generally love their albums, but this Mega Man 9 tribute is awesome all the way through.

13. Private Line – 21st Century Pirates – There must be something in the water in Finland, because they’re so good at hard rock/metal.

14. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack – This one really should be mandatory reading for every human being.

15. The Forever War – Best novel I’ve read in… forever?

16. 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth – This comic collection goes beyond hilarity and does its best to teach you some very important lessons.

17. GameSpite Journal 10: The SNES Turns 20 – What kind of gamer wouldn’t want to read a book all about SNES games?

18. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Ultimate Collection Vol. 1 – A huge, beautiful history lesson.

19. Futurama Season 6 – The first few episodes are kinda weak, but the quality shoots up after that and has me very excited to get BD set of the second half.

20. Community Season 2 – Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas.

21. Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour – It’s like Criminal Minds if Criminal Minds sunk all the budget into the script and had first-year college students do the rest.

22. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (80’s) – Campy, cheesy, corny; whatever you want to call it, it’s all goofy nostalgia.

23. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood – I liked the original series, and this one is better in every conceivable way.

24. Fringe Season 3 – Somehow this show has gotten to a point where I feel it might be better than LOST.

All in all it’s just a…

…nother dent in my car.

You can’t see it very well in photograph, but most of my driver’s side door is crushed ever-so-slightly inward. Some old lady backed into me as I was heading back to work with my lunch, and even a delicious Subway sandwich couldn’t assuage the sadness caused by having to spend the next 40 minutes on the phone with some MPI monkey.

(Monster) Hunting again

Every Sunday for the past few weeks, my youngest brother and I sit down and play Monster Hunter Freedom Unite until either Stephanie gets home from work or one of us gets tired of it. It’s been a great tradition so far and I hope it can continue for a long time to come. I’m a really big fan of both Monster Hunter and brotherly bonding time. I wouldn’t mind having a third (and fourth!) join the group, but neither of us know anyone else who plays. Sure there’s online play, but being in the same room really helps team coordination, and that’s a very important part of Monster Hunter.

Last weekend we took on the dreaded Ashen Lao-Shan Lung. Zac’s played through most of the game with random hunters online, but this is the first time I’d ever come face-to-snout with the gigantic elder dragon. Cedaeus and Jhen Moran from Monster Hunter Tri got me used to building-sized monsters, but it’s always thrilling when you meet a new one in combat for the first time. I’d seen Lao-Shan Lung artwork before, so I wasn’t surprised by his size, but when you run up to a creature that could swallow you whole, it’s exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

The battle itself wasn’t terribly difficult. Lao progresses slowly from area 1 to 5. The plan was for me to keep whacking him in the face to break his horn since I was rocking a great sword, while Zac sliced away at the beast’s belly with his dual blades. Much to our surprise, the horn smashed almost immediately and I moved onto the belly. It was a little cramped down there (Lao creeps forward on all fours), so I ran back up to the head. It was pretty smooth sailing until we got to area 5. Lao’s feet and tail are the only things that can hit you until he gets to 5 and enters attack mode, and by focusing on the head I was far away from those danger spots most of the time.

During the march, I used up all my mini whetstones (I don’t think I’ve ever had to sharpen that much while using the Blue Claw Blade), and Zac managed to get on Lao’s back and ignite the Dragon Bomb. I figured that with such a huge amount of damage being done we’d surely fell the beast. But no, the fight ran out to the end and Lao retreated. It’s probably my fault because I spent a lot of time waiting for an opening to use the dragonator, and then proceeded to screw it up. Oops. But at least we completed the quest! Not that I’m really ready for 7-star quests, but whatever.

That said, I’m really dreading our next play session. The 7-star urgent quest is two tigrexes. I’m pretty sure I made very clear how much I hate tigrex. I can barely deal with one of the damn things. I’d rather fight Shen Gaoren and Lao-Shan Lung at the same time.

You can never have too many Quests

I spent about an hour on Sunday poring over the selection of indie titles available over Xbox Live. It’s not an uncommon pastime for me, though very rarely do I find anything worth its weight in Microsoft points. Officially I went in there looking for Wizorb (which is a story for another day), but DLC Quest managed to catch my attention and I gave it the ol’ trial download. In an exciting twist, I found it plenty enjoyable and put down my points for the full game.

Before I start, the most important thing to note here is that the trial version  of DLC Quest is roughly a third of the entire game’s content. Yeah, the full game is super-short; I completed it in less than half an hour. It only costs 80MSP though, which is roughly a little more than a dollar, and I feel that I’ve gotten more than my dollar’s worth out of the game.

DLC Quest is one big joke. It’s exactly the joke the title describes too; the game lampoons the video game industry’s current trend of selling you half of your game’s content separately from the game itself. Only you have to buy nearly all of this game via DLC (but the DLC is paid for with in-game currency, so it’s okay). At the beginning you character has no animation and can only move left. You’ll notice that there is no sound at all, and that you cannot pause. Each of these features must be bought as in-game DLC packs. Eventually you move on to other, more standard DLC items, like horse armor, a top hat, and a costume pack for the NPCs.

The basic gameplay consists of exploring the map and collecting coins with which you can buy the DLC packs you require to progress further. It’s kind of like a tiny little Metroidvania that plays out on two huge maps. You obtain a sword, but it’s really just a glorified hedge clipper. You can use it to whack the NPCs around, but the only thing you need it for is to remove bushes that block your way.

As I stated before, it took me less than half an hour to completely finish the game, and that includes collecting all the funky little in-game “awardments.” They’re the indie game stand-in for achievements, if you hadn’t guessed.

While the gameplay doesn’t give you anything new or really noteworthy, the important thing to note is that DLC Quest knows that it’s a big joke and plays to that as much as it can. The short conversations between the nameless hero and the NPC range from clever to snarky, and are almost always funny. There are even a couple little twists thrown in towards the end, and the final boss encounter will subvert all your expectations. The graphics are simple and charming, the way pixel graphics ought to be, and while the music isn’t exactly memorable, it’s enough to keep you bopping along for the short ride.

The thing I want to praise DLC Quest for most is it’s control scheme. Yes, it’s just running and jumping, but it’s running and jumping done right. I swear most of these indie platformer developers have no idea how a video game character should move. DLC Quest’s hero moves breezily along, whereas the heroes of most of the other indie platformers I’ve played (Endless Princess, Aurelia, Castle of Pixel Skulls, etc.) are either way too fast or move like they’re made of wood. Not that it’s a problem inherent to indie games mind you, as plenty of regular games suffer from awful controls. I guess the point is that if you character is going to be spending most of his/her time running and jumping, it’s not a bad idea for them to have the same feel as Mario.

Anyway, DLC Quest is a winner. If you’ve got half an hour to kill and 80 Microsoft points languishing in your account, there are worse ways to spend them.

Like a sieve

Back in November I was considering doing my “24 Days of Materialism” again this year (because it’s such a hit, you see). I had a rough draft of the items I was going to pitch and everything.

Clearly, I forgot.

It’s okay though! I have a backup plan! It’s not a very good one, but at least it’ll be something. So check back on December 24th to see what I’ve got cooking. And now for something completely different:

I spelled “forgot” wrong at first, and WordPress’ spellcheck suggested that I meant to type “faggot.” Why would it suggest that? Come on WordPress, have a little decorum. But that did remind me of a rather hilarious blog that I’ve been following since last week: Texts From Bennett. It’s sooo inappropriate but sooooo hilarious. It’s not often that I have a hard time containing my amusement while browsing the web. I definitely recommend against reading this at work because you’ll laugh real hard, then people will wonder why you’re laughing and come have a look, then you’ll get fired for looking at offensive material during work hours.

Cart way before the horse

So I was reading this interview with Shigeru Miyamoto, and at one point he mentions that he thinks that The Legend of Zelda would be a good franchise to have Retro Studios work on next. I don’t even know where to start on that one, but the frothing demand bird should be here any minute.

Yeah, I don’t really want to get into speculation on a new Zelda game before the last one’s been out even a month. Go read that interview.