M for Mature

Top 25 of ’25: Ramona

Don’t worry, folks, we’re almost through all the indie horror games on the list. Just one more to go after this.

Release year: 2025
Developer: Doesn’t Matter Games
Platform: PC

I won’t even pretend that Ramona is on my list for any reason other than I have a real soft spot for Doesn’t Matter Games. Ever since Lost Alone, I’ve played every release, for better or for worse. Ramona, fortunately, is definitely in the “for better” column. It’s not the only game that Doesn’t Matter Games has released this year, but it is the best one, being the most stable and bug-free of the bunch, and having its very own little camera gimmick to make it stand out from the rest.

Like every other Doesn’t Matter game, Ramona is a haunted house simulator. Or a large-scale virtual escape room. An “escape house”, as I like to call it. And I consider that to be a good thing. That little niche is right where I like to be. This one casts you as a reporter investigating the home of the titular Ramona, who had once run a shelter for orphaned children. But she seems to have fallen on hard times after having been accused of being cruel and abusive to said orphans. What’s the truth behind the stories? That’s what you’re there to find out!

I called this game an escape house for a reason: most of the gameplay revolves around you searching the house for clues to puzzles, which, when solved, will unlock a box or cabinet that grants you a key for a locked door or an item that you’ll use for another puzzle, which will unlock a box or cabinet… so on and so forth until you’ve finished the game. Many notes are strewn about the place, in true horror game fashion, some of which tell you pieces of the story, and some of which contain puzzle clues. Some even have both! And lastly, if collecting is your jam, there are dozens upon dozens of photographs of streamers hidden all over the house for you to find and collect. This has been a bit of a staple of Doesn’t Matter games for a while now, and one day, in a future game, I hope to be on one of these collectibles.

To speak more to the “haunted house” part of my initial description of the game, there are jumpscares all over the place in Ramona’s house. Getting jumpscared or lingering in the dark too long will fill your anxiety meter, and if it tops out, you die. But staying near a light source for a while will slowly bring the meter back down. Thankfully, Ramon doesn’t have any janky combat systems that you’ll have to deal with or patrolling monsters you that you need to avoid. However, if you allow noisy appliances (that set themselves off randomly) to create too much noise, Ramona herself will appear to kill you dead. Fortunately, all it takes to deter her is a single well-placed flash from the camera you pick up about halfway through the game, so dying really isn’t much of a threat.

Running around Ramona’s house, solving puzzles and jumping at scares, is maybe not the deepest experience, but it’s one that I find great joy in. Being free to figure it out at your own pace, without any sort of time limit or enemies makes it almost kind of a cozy horror game, too. Or maybe that’s just me, because this is my preferred aesthetic. Either way, Ramona was a solid little game, and I can definitely see myself going back to it again in the future.

Top 25 of ’25: Bloodbark

For 2025, rather than doing a Top 10 Video Games article, I’ve decided to do something different and do a countdown list of the games I liked most of all the games that I played throughout the year. That incudes all games I played, regardless of release year, if I’d played them before, etc, etc. No rules!

So, of the 99 games I’ve played from January until the time of me writing this, I’ve narrowed it down to a list of 25. The first of those being Bloodbark.

Release year: 2025
Developer: SirTartarus
Platform: PC

A short experience that will take maybe half an hour to beat if you goof around, Bloodbark is an indie horror game where you play as a lumberjack. Your goal is to look for special trees that bleed when chopped, which, if I’m remembering the lore correctly, are very rare and worth a ton of money. So your dude wants to collect a bunch of this lumber, sell it, and retire early.

Of course, it’s not that simple. As you stay in the forest longer, and as you cut down more bloodbark trees, you begin to have hallucinations. And they only get more vivid and disturbing as the game goes on. Eventually you start to question reality, and if the trees that you’re cutting down are really even trees at all…

That vagueness is part of what made this game really stick in my mind. I thought about it for weeks after I finished playing it, just muddling over the details and trying to figure out what exactly was going on and what the meaning of it all was. I think, in the end, it’s perhaps supposed to be about respecting nature, but I really can’t be sure. There are also two fairly different paths through the game, with one ending that is significantly more ambiguous than the other.

While Bloodbark is effectively a walking simulator, it does reward exploration by containing a metric buttload of little secrets and easter eggs. There are also a number of in-game achievements, and even a series of collectibles that you might not even notice if you aren’t looking for them. I had a great time playing it, and I look back on it quite fondly. Hence, I give it the coveted first spot in my Top 25 of ’25.

Bottoms (as in butts) up!

The other night I watched a movie called Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead. I don’t think another movie has ever had a title that is so descriptive of its quality.

For real, I don’t even want to type out a full-on review for this one it was so bad. Here’s a synopsis: Mutant tapeworms are turning people into zombies. But before you turn, you suffer from really intense gas. For some reason there’s a focus on poop. The main character’s big trauma is that she’s afraid to fart in front of other people, and then at the end of the movie, she is able to fly around and battle the queen tapeworm using her farts as jet propulsion.

It may have been the absolute stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. If only I’d heeded the trailer’s advice not to watch it in the first place!

The funny thing is, after watching it, I couldn’t bring myself to give it a thumbs-down rating on Tubi, because I’m fairly sure that it accomplished exactly what it set out to do. It’s not trying to be a legitimate film. It’s not even trying to be a good horror comedy. I’m convinced that the director (Noboru Iguchi) had the goal of making the stupidest movie of all time.

The other funny thing is that I’ve actually watched a couple of the director’s other movies, The Machine Girl and Robo-Geisha. Now, I watched those well over a decade ago, so my memory is hazy at best, but I don’t recall hating them. I no longer have the DVDs, so they clearly weren’t good enough to keep. And that was the era of my life were I was deeply into the cheesiest movies going, so they may have also been terrible and that was just my taste at the time. But we’ll never know!

On a more positive note, I also watched a movie called Monster Island on Shudder recently. Sadly, it is not based on the David Wellington novel of the same name, because I love that novel and would like nothing more than to see it be made into a (good) movie. It’s really more of a re-imagining of Creature from the Black Lagoon, and I liked it! The problem is, there’s just not that much to it. It felt like it was over just as it was getting started. So I don’t think there’s all that much for me say about it, other than I really liked how it’s a 2024 movie but the creature was a dude in a rubber suit. Felt so comfy. I would for sure recommend this one.

Month End Video Game Wrap-Up: April 2025

~ Game Over ~

BloodRayne ReVamped (PC) – I probably would have enjoyed this to a greater degree if I’d played it back in 2002, but… Oof, it has not aged all that well. There are some good ideas in there, but it needs more polish and doesn’t feel cohesive.

Donkey Kong Land (GB) – I started this back in December, then promptly forgot about it. Why? Because it’s a poo-poo game. Well, not that bad, but it ain’t great.

HoloCure: Save the Fans! (PC) – I really only just booted it up to play a couple rounds, but there’s been an update that added a new stage and a bunch of new characters. Maybe more, I’m not sure. But I figured it was worth mentioning.

Oh what a Fool

Month End Video Game Wrap-Up: February 2025

~ Game Over ~

Wedding Witch (PC) – A horny Vampire Survivors clone that I bought and played for a joke, but then I ended up spending 10 hours 100%ing it. Whoops!

Silent Hill 2 (PC) – I’ve been itching to play the original since finishing the remake last year, and a co-worker recommended I try out the Enhanced Edition mod, so I did. It looks good for sure, and it was nice to revisit a classic. Really drove home how much bigger the remake is, too. Livestreamed the whole thing, too.

Mario & Luigi: Brothership (Switch) – Should have finished this months ago, but the whole let’s playing process really slowed me down. I liked the game a lot, but would have liked it even more if the dialog was cut down by 25-50% and it was like 10 hours shorter. That also describes how I feel about most M&L games that came after Superstar Saga.

TE Video: Coming Soon (March 2025)

Join me on YouTube and/or Rumble for at least three videos a week. Although I might give up on Rumble, since they recently changed their monetization requirements from “none” to “an absolute shit-ton” and I’ll never see a penny there now.

I’ve also been streaming on YouTube on Friday evenings pretty consistently lately, so consider dropping by to make chat slightly less empty.

Mario & Luigi: Brothership (Switch) – This one will continue to run every Saturday in March, as it has for the last three months. However, episode 20 is the finale! It’s finally coming to an end! What a bittersweet moment it was/will be.

9 Years of Shadows (PC) – This series ends with episodes 6 and 7 on March 3 and 10 respectively. While I obviously recommend checking out the game in general, the last episode isn’t one to miss if you want to see me completely lose my cool.

A Night on the Farm (Switch) – Airing March 6, this is a little indie horror adventure about a perfectly average night on a perfectly average farm. My playthrough clocks in a just under an hour and a half, showing off three of the five(?) possible endings. If that sounds like a letdown to you, just know that the endings aren’t all that different.

Dead or School (PC) – Parts 6 and 7 go live on March 13 and 27 respectively. I’ve forgotten most of what’s actually in these episodes, but there’s a fight against a tank boss on part 7! And I make at least one Metal Gear Solid reference!

Suite 776 (PC) – Goes live on March 17. I could swear I had played this one before, but honestly, I may have just played and watched too many indie horror games at this point, and they’re all just blending together in my mind. Anyway, I like it, and it’s got a pretty fun easter egg right near the end.

Spicy Candy (PC) – Airs on March 20. More of an interactive story than a game, really. You play as a little girl who gets locked out of the house by her neglectful mother on Halloween and sets off to collect candy. GUESS WHAT HAPPENS.

Broken Through (PC) – Goes live on March 24. I’ve played all of Jordan Lindgren’s games, and this one is my favourite by far. While the “haunted video game” theme is becoming a little too common, this game does it well and was, surprisingly, legitimately spooky. I was genuinely unsettled a couple times while playing it. Fun!

Unpacking (PC) – The last video for the month, going live on March 30. A wild departure from the kinds of games I normally play, this is a cute, cozy game about unpacking boxes and organizing your belongings. It also manages to tell a heartwarming story without any traditional narrative elements.

TE Video: Coming Soon (February 2025)

You know the preamble by now. Let’s jump straight to the good(?) stuff.

Mario & Luigi: Brothership (Switch) – Parts 12-15 run every Saturday from Feb 1st. No surprise, being at part 12 and all. Looks like it’s coming to a head (I just recorded part 15), and I’m pretty confident that this series will end in March.

9 Years of Shadows (PC) – Parts 2-5 run every Monday from Feb 3rd. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I definitely recommend it, as it’s pretty cool game. Very stylish, with some neat powers and tough bosses. This one will definitely conclude in March, with part 7 being the finale.

Bad Parenting #1: Mr. Red Face (PC) – One-shot goes live Feb 6. I thought this was going to be a bit more of a light-hearted spook-em-up, but it’s actually intensely dark. One of the bleakest games I’ve played in recent memory.

DEAD OR SCHOOL (PC) – Parts 4 and 5 on Feb 13 and Feb 27 respectively. I honestly don’t know if this is going to be any fun at all to watch, but I had a grand old time playing it. Check it out if you like seeing me in pain and anime nonsense.

Midnight Prowl (PC) – One-shot goes live Feb 20. Yamoto’s first game, and easily the weirdest of the three. It’s better than Akai Onna, but can’t hold a candle to Urayama. As with most of these games, I put in the effort to get both endings.

As always, any unplanned videos will get their own posts as they go live (or more likely, a few days afterward). That seems a bit unfair, honestly, but what are you going to do? You’re going to subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell. That’s what you’re going to do.

TE Video: Coming Soon (Oct 2024)

Spooktober is nearly upon us! To celebrate, I’ve not only got exclusively horror games on deck for the month, but I’ll also be posting three videos a week instead of the usual two! Make sure to keep an eye on your subscription feeds on Saturdays!

Bloody Ink (PC) – [Oct 1, 7, 14, & 21] – This four-part series is the newest offering from Doesn’t Matter Games. The first video is actually of the demo, which is packaged in with the full game and acts as a prologue. It’s all very Doesn’t Matter, but didn’t quite tickle my fancy the way that Lost Alone did.

Who Knocks (PC) – [Oct 3 & 10] – Conversely, this is Doesn’t Matter Games’ first game. Playing them back-to-back really illuminates how the DMG formula hasn’t really changed over time, but it has been refined with a number of quality-of-life improvements. I think this is actually my second-favourite game from DMG.

GOTY 2023: A Startling Upset

I’ve been hard at work on my Top 10 Video Games of 2023 article already, in hopes of having it posted before March 2024. I’m never going to forgive myself for that one…

Anyway, I had the whole list decided on, had a couple of entries written out completely, and then The Talos Principle 2 dropped. I finished it last weekend and knew that it would absolutely need a place in my Top 10, possibly even in the top spot. So I had to make a cut. And it was difficult! Very, very difficult! Alas, it had to be done. I can’t have a Top 11 Games of 2023, now can I?

Unfortunately, the decision I made was to cut a game I’d already done a write-up for, and it seemed like a shame to just throw out all of that “hard work.” So I’m posting it here, now. It’s not going to get a fancy banner image, but it will retain a special place in my heart.