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Dick Turtle’s Gallery

You know what’s pretty great? I appear to be the internet’s foremost expert in Dick Turtle surprise bags, having been the only human in history to ever photograph and document them. At least, that’s what a cursory Google search and a couple of Reddit threads suggest. I’m willing to accept that as irrefutable proof. I need to be the internet’s foremost expert on something.

That said, I did this “research” a while ago because I received a shocking email from a “fan” who had not only read my second Dick Turtle article, but also decided to complete the Dick Turtle colouring challenge that I had issued those many years ago. …Well, “complete” might be a bit of an exaggeration. Dick Turtle remains mostly uncoloured, but this is the first submission that I’ve ever received, so it’s the best by default.

Now that I’ve received a submission, I’ll honour my promise and use this post as a gallery for any other coloured Dick Turtle pictures that people send in. Considering that it took just shy of 17 years to get a single, partially-completed submission, I don’t anticipate that I’ll ever have to edit this post. Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong!

Submission by Rory S.


After posting all those comics last month, I suppose it’s only right to follow up with some less panel-bound doodles. Like this one here!

The more I look at this, the less it looks like something I would have drawn. But I did! Make no mistake about it! This is entirely a product of opening up Photoshop and just going with the flow. Literally the only thing that I had set out to do was to draw something in Photoshop instead of Flash. Get with the times and all that, you know?

Continue reading Absof**kinglutely

A different kind of Easter egg

Sometimes I do irresponsible things.

My time working at Toys R Us was full of them, some more innocuous than others.

My job required me to carry around a pen and paper at all times, because I would have to take notes at a moment’s notice. As an “artist” of some description, I have an insatiable urge to doodle whenever any sort of drawing tools are nearby.

So, over the three years I worked there, I left many a doodle behind. On walls, on wooden boards, sometimes even on papers! All in the storeroom, of course. It would be really irresponsible to be defacing parts of the store that a customer might see.

Admittedly, sometimes I did find myself doodling on product boxes. Only the bike boxes, though, which were just plain brown with packing labels stuck to them. They were so boring.

I never drew anything obscene, of course. Just little goofy faces and the like. Something that might make a person smile when they found it.

Alright, fine. I drew penises on occasion. But only in dust!

Wherein I drew some Mega Mans

Quelle surprise!

In all honesty, I really don’t draw Robot Masters all that often any more. Only sometimes. And these are the only ones that have passed the “willing to share” quality threshold. Which is apparently pretty relaxed because they have a lot of room for improvement.

Especially Flash Man. Geez. I really should have taken a photo of myself in that pose before trying to draw it. I just… Ugh.

Also I have no idea how to draw a hand holding a Metal Blade. So that’s an issue.

A blast from the past

I don’t know if I’ve ever shared this on the ol’ blog before, but a co-worker of mine e-mailed this drawring to me the other day.

I drew this way, way back in 2011. I guess it’s not that far back, but it seems like forever ago to me. Anyway, it’s the cover for a comic that another co-worker had written and asked me to draw as a gift from the team for the previously mentioned co-worker’s birthday. I’d post the whole thing, but it’s terribly in-jokey and the inside art is a far cry from the quality of the cover.

While it wasn’t my best work, I remain proud of it to this day because it’s a thing that made at least a couple of people very happy. The entire thing has been on my personal drive at work ever since, and I tend to look back at it every once in a while. It’s nice to know that the person I drew it for still looks at it now and then, too.

Makes me feel like I have at least some worth as a human being.

Monster Hunter Drawer

I don’t post drawings here all that often. Possibly because I don’t draw as much as I did in… high school. Geez, for someone who claims “drawing” as an interest, hobby, and talent, I sure don’t spend enough time actually doing it.

I did start an initiative to keep myself drawing more often a couple months ago. The aim was to draw something every day, whether big or small, complicated or simple, good or bad. For a while I kept up pretty well, but I feel like I’ve been breaking the chain pretty callously over the last couple weeks. What can I say? I’m a huge flake.

Anyway, what I was going to get around to is that I spent some time working on a semi-serious drawing yesterday. Less than an hour, so it still qualifies as a doodle, but at least I like the results enough to share it with the internet.


A simple sketch of my Monster Hunter 4 character, Jenna, sporting an armour set (very loosely) based on the Duramboros X set. I didn’t want to make it accurate because it was a little more fun to take the base idea and do my own thing with it. Her weapon is a Rathalos-brand switch axe. Not a specific model, since they all look more or less the same, but I suppose it’d be Rathlagration, as that what’s she’s currently rocking in-game.

Honestly, it’s rare that I like the fruits of my labour, and this is the kind of thing that I might actually bring into Flash to trace and colour digitally. I have a bunch of criticisms in my head for it, but I’ll keep those to myself because I kind of like actually liking the work, and writing them out might make me get into that bad headspace and trash it.

There’s another piece I’ve been working on on-and-off for a long time now, which I’m pretty excited to finish up and share, but that’s for another day. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make it really good, so hopefully it comes out meeting my expectations.