(my) Butt hurt(s)

Well, I did a thing yesterday: my fifth ride in the Cerebral Palsy Association of Manitoba’s Stationary Bike Race. I’ve become a big fan of this annual fundraiser, as it gives me a chance to hang out with some co-workers that I don’t ordinarily see much of, or at all in some cases. While I’m typically not a very social person, I’m all too happy to be an active part of the team when this event comes around.

On the other hand, I really let myself go last winter, and despite having gotten into a very good (at least for me) and consistent exercise routine over the last couple months, I was not at all prepared for it. Basically everything below my sternum has been in pain since my ride. Yes, it’s just 25 minutes of riding a bike, but it’s 25 minutes of riding a bike as hard as I can. And this year, that was not very hard at all. Last year I rode 19.22km, and this year I came in just shy of 17. I am a bit disappointed, but in all fairness, I was in the best shape of my life when I rode last year.

Most of all, though, I’m very proud of the artwork that I made for my team!

It was kind of a last-minute thing; I wasn’t going to do it, but then a pretty girl told me how much she liked the piece I did last year and asked me if I’d do another so… call me a simp if you must. I spent pretty much an entire weekend on this thing, and all things considered, I’m quite happy with how it turned out. And my co-riders really liked it too, so that’s wonderful! It’s nice to get validation once in a while.

Dick Turtle’s Gallery

You know what’s pretty great? I appear to be the internet’s foremost expert in Dick Turtle surprise bags, having been the only human in history to ever photograph and document them. At least, that’s what a cursory Google search and a couple of Reddit threads suggest. I’m willing to accept that as irrefutable proof. I need to be the internet’s foremost expert on something.

That said, I did this “research” a while ago because I received a shocking email from a “fan” who had not only read my second Dick Turtle article, but also decided to complete the Dick Turtle colouring challenge that I had issued those many years ago. …Well, “complete” might be a bit of an exaggeration. Dick Turtle remains mostly uncoloured, but this is the first submission that I’ve ever received, so it’s the best by default.

Now that I’ve received a submission, I’ll honour my promise and use this post as a gallery for any other coloured Dick Turtle pictures that people send in. Considering that it took just shy of 17 years to get a single, partially-completed submission, I don’t anticipate that I’ll ever have to edit this post. Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong!

Submission by Rory S.


After posting all those comics last month, I suppose it’s only right to follow up with some less panel-bound doodles. Like this one here!

The more I look at this, the less it looks like something I would have drawn. But I did! Make no mistake about it! This is entirely a product of opening up Photoshop and just going with the flow. Literally the only thing that I had set out to do was to draw something in Photoshop instead of Flash. Get with the times and all that, you know?

Continue reading Absof**kinglutely

A different kind of Easter egg

Sometimes I do irresponsible things.

My time working at Toys R Us was full of them, some more innocuous than others.

My job required me to carry around a pen and paper at all times, because I would have to take notes at a moment’s notice. As an “artist” of some description, I have an insatiable urge to doodle whenever any sort of drawing tools are nearby.

So, over the three years I worked there, I left many a doodle behind. On walls, on wooden boards, sometimes even on papers! All in the storeroom, of course. It would be really irresponsible to be defacing parts of the store that a customer might see.

Admittedly, sometimes I did find myself doodling on product boxes. Only the bike boxes, though, which were just plain brown with packing labels stuck to them. They were so boring.

I never drew anything obscene, of course. Just little goofy faces and the like. Something that might make a person smile when they found it.

Alright, fine. I drew penises on occasion. But only in dust!

Wherein I drew some Mega Mans

Quelle surprise!

In all honesty, I really don’t draw Robot Masters all that often any more. Only sometimes. And these are the only ones that have passed the “willing to share” quality threshold. Which is apparently pretty relaxed because they have a lot of room for improvement.

Especially Flash Man. Geez. I really should have taken a photo of myself in that pose before trying to draw it. I just… Ugh.

Also I have no idea how to draw a hand holding a Metal Blade. So that’s an issue.