Category: Foodstuffs

The Amazing Spider-Man Mega Egg

I’m going to start on a tangent and hope that it decreases how many more crop up later on in this article. Holy crap, it has been forever since I did any actual work in MS Paint. That banner up there? No Photoshop involved. Not that it’s hard to tell. I think it turned out pretty nice though, in an ironic lo-fi sort of way. It took me like half an hour to put that border around the blue text. I miss my “stroke” layer style.

There. Now that that’s out of my system, let’s move on the actual intro.

You may remember that in the spring of last year, I wrote an article about a Star Wars Mega Egg. If you don’t, maybe go check that one out first, and then come back and read this one. We’ll wait for you. I don’t know if it’s really compulsory reading, but I’m considering this article a sequel to it, so you might as well bone up on the TE canon. Or something. I totally forgot what I was trying to get at with this paragraph.

Oh, right. I was initialy trying to lead into something about how the SWME (I pronounce it “swum-ee”) brang about an article renaissance here on TE. How it heralded a new age of me sometimes writing articles about things that are not video games. But that’s boring and not really relevant, so maybe I’ll just start trying to get to the point.

Back in July, when I was in Lac du Bonnet for the annual Canada Day celebrations, I made the yearly pit stop into The Bargain Shop to check out their wares, procure a buttload of candy to eat while waiting for the fireworks to start, and maybe find something interesting enough to write about. Of course, this might sound like a somewhat familiar story to you. If you’ve been reading TE for a while, it really should. I do this every year, and I write about it almost every year, whether or not I actually find anything.

Continue reading The Amazing Spider-Man Mega Egg

2013 Surprise Bag Article

You may not know this, but it is a real challenge to find a surprise bag interesting enough to warrant review. I’ve long considered the surprise bag review to be one of TE’s Things, but lately it seems all my efforts to find a half-decent one are coming up dry. Did you know that I haven’t posted a surprise bag article since 2006? Yeah, seems like I probably should have staggered them out a little better. But how was I to know I’d still be doing this seven years later?

I have picked up a few surprise bags over the last few years, even made special trips out of the city just to hunt for the things. But alas, I haven’t found one that’s even been worth a blog post, nevermind a full-fledged article. It’s killing me too, because for the last year or so I’ve really wanted to do one up proper. It just seems like all the surprise bags out there are filled with garbage so bland that I can’t make up reasons to make fun of, or they’re licensed and actually a pretty decent way to spend a dollar. I suppose that in hard times I could write up something about a good surprise bag, but what’s the fun in that? I don’t think anything will ever live up to that one that was like 20 years old. I’m beginning to worry that I’ll never see Dubu gum or Baby trading cards again.

My search endures, however, because I refuse to give up on the idea that surprise bags can be truly surprising and contain more than a couple generic suckers and maybe a Dubble Bubble. Also, nostalgia. The thought of a certain nearby city is inexorably linked with a certain notorious surprise bag in my mind, and I cannot think about one without the other crossing my mind. The memories of the fun I had opening and reviewing those other surprise bags lingers as well, even though I know that it likely won’t ever be as exciting as it was back when I was truly devoted to this craft.

I suppose the point I’m trying to make is… wait… what?… What is that?

Continue reading 2013 Surprise Bag Article

Canada Day 2013

Canada Day is a pretty important day for me. Not because I’m some sort of super-patriot or anything, but rather just because I thrive on traditions and nostalgia. Seriously, I’m fairly dependent on doing the same things over and over forever because they’re safe and comfortable. I’m fully aware of this, and I wouldn’t ever want to change it about me. Who needs excitement and variety when you can just enjoy the things you already know that you love?

That said, anyone who knows me will have a pretty good idea of where I am and what I’m doing at any given time during the Canada Day weekend. Or, at least one day of the Canada Day weekend. It rolls out a little differently each year, but all the pieces are usually the same. That said, I still feel compelled to write about my Canada Day adventure because it’s one of my favourite days of the year. It even beats out my birthday now that I’m old and don’t get presents any more.

This year was the biggest Canada Day change-up in, oh, probably the last six years or so. The obvious change, of course, being 2008 when my wife and I started dating. That was also the year that my grandparents sold their cottage and moved to the city, which may have changed Canada Day more than anything. Important because that was the year my family stopped doing the usual Canada Day stuff, but luckily the tradition lives on because my wife’s family has always attended the same festivities that mine used to.

Oh, and the images are clickable if you want to see bigger versions. Though why you’d want to see a super-sized version of the crack through my windshield or crappy pictures of fireworks is beyond me.

Continue reading Canada Day 2013

Party Cake Peeps

There was a time, not too long ago, when Easter was a big deal here at TE. Actually, it wasn’t even called TE back then. So I guess maybe it was a long time ago. Yup, this is the worst introductory paragraph ever.

There was a time, long ago, when Easter was a big deal here. Not only was it exciting because I’d wake up to a buttload of free candy and maybe an awesome gift or two, but also because it was fun to write about. Well, the candy was fun to write about. I don’t know why, there’s just something that really clicks for me when it comes to Easter candy. More so than candy themed for any other holiday, even Halloween.

Alas, those days are naught but a memory, and while my mom does still put together a little something for me, I’m long since officially too old for Easter as I’ve always known it. Now it’s all about Jesus and brunch buffets instead of chocolate and jellybeans. I certainly don’t like the transition, but it’s not like I really have a choice, now do I?

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Because of the wonderful power of maternal sympathy, the wife and I received a nice little package of goodies from my parents this year, and these Peeps are the most interesting thing that was found within. It also contained some mini Reese’s peanut butter cups, Cadbury Mini Eggs, a box of K-cups, and more chocolate footballs than I could count.

While at first it seems like it would be incredibly difficult to choose one thing to be the most interesting from that lineup, the Peeps have a serious edge that I didn’t even notice until I put the first one in my mouth  Notice that they are, in fact, Party Cake Peeps. I didn’t notice this because I wrote off the festive box as just an Easter theme without actually inspecting it first.

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So what defines the Party Cake Peeps? What makes them so much more interesting than their standard-issue brethren? Not a lot, I’ll be honest. It’s a stretch to call them interesting, even with that fancy-pants wrapper.

A Peep, normally, is just a chick-shaped marshmallow slathered in sugar. So, sugar wrapped in more sugar, if you want to be pessimistic. The Party Cake Peeps, on the other hand, are flavoured. I’ve never eaten -or even seen– flavoured Peeps before, so this was a major revelation for me. I didn’t know that the technology existed to endow the humble Peep with such a wondrous gift. The future truly is now.

Anyway, while the PCPeeps do bear a smell reminiscent of cake, the flavour isn’t nearly as strong as the scent, They mostly still taste like marshmallows, but with a little hint of vanilla? I’m not sure what the flavour is, I’m actually really bad at that. I know that there is a flavouring, but I am completely unable to identify it. It doesn’t help and disappoints me greatly that the package doesn’t actually tell me what it is, not even in the ingredient list. For all I know, these Peeps are party-flavoured, because that’s what the blurb on the back says. I wasn’t aware that “party” was a flavour.

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The PCPeeps are also an irradiated shade of green, unlike the cool blue Peep pictured on the packaging. The little sprinkles are a nice touch. I like sprinkles because mentally I’m about six years old.

So, there’s not really much else to say about these little guys. Fact is that even flavoured, sprinkled Peeps aren’t nearly interesting enough to write about at length. I know; I just tried! Hell, thanks to this piece I might be the world’s most dedicated Party Cake Peeps fan by default. I doubt anyone else has or would even be able to put down more words about them than I have here, and I’m already padding this thing to high Hell. I dunno, I guess you could write a song or something about them. “World’s Most Dedicated Party Cake Peeps Fan” isn’t exactly a honour that I want to put on my resume.

Oh, and I suppose that if you absolutely need something to take away from this, yes, the Party Cake Peeps are yummy. A++ would eat again.

Looking back, and then forward a little

The article format seems like kind of a stupid concession to the reason I started this dumb website, but the fact remains that I still feel compelled to segregate some of the more focused things I write. Even though there are many blog posts which could easily qualify to be articles. I think what really defines articles at this point is that they are big long posts that are generally not about video games. That said, I have written five this year! That’s the best output I’ve had since like… 2006. Yeesh. I go back and read those, and mostly I just remember the nice part of being single and unemployed – having as much time as you want to blow on completely stupid things.

But being employed has the dual benefits of providing income and a sense of purpose, and I don’t think I’d even be able to function anymore outside of a significant romantic relationship. That said, I do want to continue the recent trend of writing at least one thing that I can file under “articles” each month. Only problem is, I don’t have any good topics for the next three months. October and November are total blank slates, and a “24 Xs of Materialism” thing might be a last resort, because I’m not buying things left and right anymore. On the other hand, I have been working on a January feature for months now.

That feature, of course, is going to be “The Top X (10 or 12) Video Games I’ve Played in 2012” or something along those lines. I haven’t decided yet, but the idea is that in an attempt to pull emphasis away from my ever-increasing backlog, I’m going to instead celebrate a handful of the games I started and finished during this calendar year. I know it’s violating my new tendency to stay away from video games for articles, but it’s low-hanging fruit that I must pluck! I’ll go back to movies and candy come February.

Going back to my original intent for this post, however, I need some ideas for the rest of the year. October is quickly approaching and the accompanying article will have to be Halloween-themed, obviously. I’m thinking of just taking $10 to a dollar store and seeing if I can find enough interesting junk to justify spending three hours taking pictures of and writing about it. November is an absolute mystery to me at this point, but I’m leaning toward a project documentation, as opposed to a product review. You may experience another cooking fiasco. December… I hope to recreate the magic of the Holiday Viva Puffs review, albeit with a different minty-flavoured holiday treat. Or perhaps I’ll turn a gingerbread house kit into some sort of horrible gingerbread phallus. Actually, you know, I really like that one. I’m going to go start up a draft of that right now.

The last thing I need to do is get all the Facebook integration set up here. It’s annoying to try to post things on both the blog and Facebook, so I generally don’t do it. I don’t really want to work the social media route, but that seems to be the best way to reach out over the internet these days. Maybe I’ll even have to create a Twitter account. And find a good WordPress plugin to post stories on those sites. The only one I’ve tried using breaks my layout quite handily, so if anyone knows a good one that doesn’t conflict with the Weaver theme, please let me know.

Nostalgia trippin’

Hey, so does it mean you’re old when just the air can cause waves of nostalgia to wash over you? Because I’m totally getting that right now. It’s been a beautiful fall day, and the first real one as far as I’m concerned, because it’s just got that feeling to it. I love this weather, and it brings back memories of everything I’ve ever associated it with. I have no way to properly convey these feelings in words, but I can feel them in my heart and I need to get them out somehow, so I kept a running list of every memory that came back to me today because of the cool autumn air. Here’s what I got:

  • Trick-or-treating in general
  • Beating Army Men: Sarge’s Heroes for Nintendo 64 one Halloween night
  • Playing Silent Hill for the first time
  • Daily visits to the Heath Sciences Center
  • Watching Criminal Minds on Stephanie’s laptop in my car
  • Guitar Hero 5
  • Visiting a small corner store downtown that smelled like curry, and buying Pepsis at said store which also smelled of curry
  • Treehouse of Horror
  • YTV’s Dark Night specials
  • McDonald’s Halloween McNugget toys
  • Driving around with the family to look at Halloween houses
  • That old McDonald’s Halloween cassette tape. “Spooky Sounds” or something of the like?
  • Pokémon Silver Version
  • The beginning of Christmas madness at Toys ‘R’ Us
  • Donkey Konga
  • Traipsing through yards covered in crunchy, fallen leaves
  • Finally earning my driver’s license
  • Purchasing my first car (I still love you, Spirit)
  • The beginning of hockey season, and all those dreadful practise sessions
  • Carving jack-o-lanterns
  • The last family trip to Fargo
  • Chasing a bunch of egg-chucking hooligans down the street while dressed as the red Angry Bird
  • Playing Rock Band 2 at a Halloween party, and my sister-in-law commenting at how intense I looked while I was playing
  • Creating the alias “Tito Sanchez” for reasons I cannot recall
  • Going to a corn maze and haunted house with a group of friends, and being thought of as a goofball (not in a good way) by the females of the bunch.
  • Playing Magical Starsign in the upstairs storeroom of Toys ‘R’ Us instead of working
  • My brother’s friend Brent dressing as a woman for Halloween, and being called “Brenta” for many years afterwards
  • Not giving out free cookies to trick-or-treaters at Tim Hortons
  • Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, for some reason. I don’t know why, because I never played that at Halloween time
  • Pillsbury cookie rolls, with pumpkins coloured into them!
  • Enjoying those cold, foggy mornings where nobody’s around and silence abounds
  • The many times I said I’d participate in (or at least check out) a zombie walk, but never did
  • Pumpkin pie
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • Specifically, “This is Halloween”

Tongues on fire

Hey, remember last summer when I was writing about those limited-time Doritos that claimed to be the spiciest ones, and came in three different levels of heat? Yeah, those ones. Since I’d decided to pick up each different kind on separate occasions, I was made the victim of some sort of conspiracy to make it seem as if the third tier of these special Doritos had never existed. Of course, the bags of lesser hotness themselves touted the “3rd degree burn” variety, but when the time came to give those 3rds a try, I could not for the life of me find a bag to purchse. I searched high and low, but was forced to write them off as a lost-forever.

Imagine my elation upon finding that 7-11 had begun to stock the Scorchin’ Habanero exclusively.

I’ll admit that I’m not certain of whether or not the 3rds were the only member of the Burn family to be restocked this year, but I don’t rightly care. As far as I’m concerned they should be the only ones to make a return, after their mysterious disappearance last time this promotion ran.

For all I know the 7-11 I’ve been visiting lately just lost the box last year, recently found it, and are now trying to get rid of the crusty old stock. That “AU 21” best before date very conveniently omits a year.

Getting down to brass tacks, I think I may have been a bit of a whiny baby last year, because I refuse to believe that the 2nd Degree was as hot as the 3rd. If you go back and read that post about the 2nds, you’ll see that I typed that they were so hot that I could not eat them all in a single sitting. When eating the 3rds, I had the same problem! It actually took me three runs at the bag to get them all down this time. I think I’d need to try both again, but at the same time to come to a definitive conclusion.

The other travesty here is that aside from the weclome spiciness challenge, I didn’t really like them all that much. Much like the jalapeno of the 1st Degree, I wasn’t really won over by the habanero flavour. I’d eat them again if they were to be offered as a snack or small gift, but I wouldn’t buy them again. Well, aside from the aforementioned spiciness comparison. For science and all.

If I had to choose one Degree to be the overall winner, I’d have to go with the 2nds. Since it’s been so long since I’ve eaten the two lesser varieties, I’m making an assumption based on anecdotal evidence, which doesn’t seem overly professional. If it’s my own anecdote though, it should be all right though, yes?

In other news, that Slurpee is of a “mystery” flavour (one of those stupid “name the flavour” contests). It’s orange. Orange with a little something mixed in at best. I solved the mystery, gimme the prize.