Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – May 2017

This may be the longest list to date… I don’t know quite how it happened, seeing as I feel like I’ve been playing far fewer video games than usual. Ack! Maybe it’s time to start logging playtime?

~ Game Over ~

Bye-Bye, BoxBoy! (3DS) – Is it the Best Box Boy? Yeah. Yeah it is. They’ve definitely pushed the series as far as it can go, and I’m glad it’s (ostensibly) being retired before it loses its lustre.

KAMIKO (Switch) – I thought “This looks neat, I’ll buy it off the Japan eShop because there’s no way it’ll ever come out in North America” but was stymied because the Japan eShop doesn’t accept my MasterCard. And then it came out in North America the very next week. Welp!

ABZÛ (PS4) – Something about a diver saving an underwater ecosystem from the ravages of machines. I don’t really get it, but it was super pretty. Also, so many cool fishies!

Blazing Star (Switch) – A NEO-GEO shoot-’em-up that is visually amazing (duh). It also taught me what separates a good shmup from an annoying shmup: enemies that soak up bullets. Also most of the playable ships are kind of terrible. Windina is always the way to go.

Stardew Valley (PC) – We accomplished everything that isn’t a horrible slog. Once we acquired the Junimo Hut, it just seemed like there was nothing else worth doing. And so it’s finally over.

Dark Witch Music Episode: Rudymical (Switch) – The title gives away that this is not your average Legend of Dark Witch game. In fact, it is instead a weird rhythm game that demands nothing less than perfection. Despite that, I still kinda liked it.

Destroy All Humans! (PS4) – Bought the PlayStation Humble Bundle just to replay this. Honestly, a little underwhelming on the gameplay front, but I loooove the B-movie aesthetic/plot.

Snipperclips (Switch) – Chopped my way to the end of the single-player levels. It’s a very clever game, but is so much more fun when you’re working with other players. And I say that from experience, having previously solved all the multiplayer stages with a full four-person team.

ARMS Global Testpunch (Switch) – Okay, so I didn’t really “beat” it because it’s just a demo… But I really wanted to list it because it absolutely sold me on ARMS. Of course.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – May 2017

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – January 2017

Holy crow, 2017 is already flying by. It seems like it was just New Year’s Day, and already we’re in February. It’s gonna be Switch Day before we know it!

And that’s about the extent of my small talk abilities. That’s why I spend so much time playing video games alone instead of socializing with humans.

~ Game Over ~

Layers of Fear (PS4) – Appropriate that the first game I beat in 2017 is yet another spook-em-up walking simulator. I think I may have found my sub-genre. In an effort to try to toughen up a bit, I started playing with the lights off and headphones on. That lasted for half the game, at which point I simply could not take it any more. Anyway, I really liked it, and played through twice to get all the trophies.

Layers of Fear: Inheritance (PS4) – A DLC half-sequel for the game listed above. It was good, but much less frightening and also I needed to play through it three times for all the trophies. Though that’s really not such a big problem when the game can easily be run in under an hour.

Resident Evil 7 (PS4) – I was so excited for this scaled-down take on RE, and then about two hours in, I realized “oh, this is just a backwoods version of Alien: Isolation.” But then it quickly got much better and I got completely sucked in. Loved it. Can’t wait to play it again.

Day of the Tentacle Remastered (PS4) – There couldn’t have been a better time to accidentally subscribe to PS+. This was one of the free games for January, and though I own the original game, I haven’t played it in, oh, 20 years? It was wonderful to relive, and looked gorgeous on my giant HDTV. Absolutely perfect bit of nostalgia.

Shovel Knight (3DS) – I played Shovel Knight again. Surprise, surprise. But I did play New Game+ this time, which is v difficult.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – January 2017

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – December 2016

in b4 2017 gets sucky

All jokes aside, good lord did I play a lot of different video games in December. Where in the heck did I find all that extra time?

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Pokkén Tournament (WiiU) – I forgot about this game so quickly after it came out, but I really do enjoy it. I just wish I had the dedication to get better at it. I finally finished the single-player “story”, at least. Also, why the heck haven’t all the new Pokémon from the arcade version been made as DLC? I want to play as Scizor!

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The Cat Lady (PC) – A traditional adventure game that’s kind of ugly, but has a very interesting and thoughtful story. But you know all about it already because you read the post I wrote about it, yeah?

Adventure Time: Finn & Jake Investigations (WiiU) – I started playing this what seemed like months ago, then it fell off my radar because ?????. Picked it up again and solved the remaining cases. It’s a pretty good throwback to adventure games of yore! And almost the exact opposite of The Cat Lady in terms of tone. But it’s not so good that I’m going to buy the DLC chapter.

Shantae: 1/2-Genie Hero (WiiU) – The third Kickstarter game that I’ve backed to be released. It falls somewhere on the quality scale between the immaculate Shovel Knight and the troubled Mighty No 9. Mostly very good with beautiful graphics, but has a surprisingly bad final chapter and a horrific recurring audio glitch. Pirate’s Curse is still the best Shantae.

Picross e7 (3DS) – I knew this one came out in Japan a while ago, but its North American release totally blindsided me. With joy. Thanks for the early Xmas gift, Jupiter! I didn’t clear all the mega puzzles, but they’re all the same as the standard puzzles, so I’m considering it beaten.

Lifeless Planet (PS4) – A game about being an astronaut, bouncing around on an unexplored planet with a mysterious history. At least that’s what it is for the first hour. After that, stuff starts happening, and honestly I think I was happier just exploring the simple landscapes of the early game. The story is quite good, though!

The Way of Life (Free Edition) (PC) – A walking simulator wherein you play different “events” through the eyes of a child, man, and geezer. The three scenarios provided are boring and preachy and I can’t say I’d ever consider paying for the “Definitive Edition.”

The First Skunk Bundle (WiiU) – I played Haunted Hotel a couple months ago, and recently went back to try out the other games. They’re “better” if you’re measuring by playability, but have absolutely nothing on Haunted Hotel as far as being completely bonkers. Still, they’re all mostly garbage. Catchy is okay, I guess.

~ Now Playing ~

Dragon Quest Builders (PS4) – The hours just melt away when I boot this baby up. It’s like the heyday of Minecraft, but with good graphics and music (though a little less freedom). Currently on Chapter 3.

Super Mario Run (iOS) – Well this is weird. But also really good. But also, the Toad Rush mode has showed me that despite all my years of training, I suck at Mario. Whoops!

Ape Escape 2 (PS2) – I’ve played the first and third Ape Escape games to completion, and only when I played Ape Escape 2 did the realization dawn on me that Ape Escape feels a lot like Gex, except not as terrible. Ape Escape 2 has some camera issues, but otherwise it’s decent enough.

Dino Eggs: Rebirth (PC) – One of those bundle situations where I bought a bunch of games because one looked cool and I didn’t give a flip about the others. This is one of the “I don’t give a flip” titles. It’s actually a fun, breezy puzzlatformer. I hear that it’s an expanded remake of an old Apple II game that I don’t remember ever playing, but very well could have. Apple II was a long, long time ago.

Bit Dungeon+ (WiiU) – A pixel-graphics, dungeon-crawling, roguelike game that I picked up on sale after Xmas. It’s not quite what I was hoping for, and it’s a little broken/inscrutable, but I like it! My brother decidedly does not, so it looks like I’m flyin’ solo on this one.

Pokémon Picross (3DS) – Somehow, the memory wires in my brain got crossed in a way that Christmastime now makes me think of Pokémon Picross. So I played it a bunch. Still not enough to complete all the Alt-World stages that I had left undone, though.

Life is Strange (PS4) – It’s been over a year since the last chapter came out, which meant time for a replay! There are fewer shocking “I get this foreshadowing now!” moments than I had expected. At least in chapter one. Just one massive one right at the very end.

Pokémon Sun (3DS) – Sure, I beat it last month, but there’s more to it than just getting the credits to roll. There’s a bit of post-game content, and of course I’ve got to… catch them all.

Bit Boy Arcade (3DS) – For reasons I won’t get into, I booted this up somewhat randomly. Played a bunch of stages, and it seemed kind of crappy at first, but I quickly found myself getting into it as I learned how the game works. I might just see it through to the end.

Stardew Valley (PC) – I might as well have started using cocaine. There’s a very good reason that I stopped playing Harvest Moon games.

Rollercoaster Tycoon (PC) – I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the kind of game you beat over the span of years, or never at all. Because at least in the early game, all the scenarios end up feeling the exact same. It’s like, spend a year building up a great park, and then let the game sit for a couple hours to run down the clock until you win.

Bioshock Remastered (PC) – Made a tiny bit of progress, but have now been stymied multiple times by the game locking up when I attempt to open the map.

2016 Xmas Gift Roundup!

Oh my, has yet another year passed already? Well, I guess three years if you’re just going by the last time I wrote one of these things. Remember how it used to be an annual tradition? Did I write this exact same intro paragraph last time? Ehh, I’ve already recycled the idea and the banner, might as well re-use some of the text as well.

I think that, for the most part, I stopped doing these because I began to feel embarrassed about all of the stuff I get for Xmas. I mean, it’s not like it’s all that excessive (especially with my lack of wife), but it’s easy to look at these articles and think to myself “gee, I sure am spoiled, aren’t I?” Maybe next year will be the year I finally act on my desire to volunteer somewhere and help those less fortunate.

But probably not. That would also require leaving the house, and my incredible selfishness is a defining character trait.

Continue reading 2016 Xmas Gift Roundup!

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – November 2016

Hey. November. It’s cold outside now. All the more reason to stay inside all the time and play video games. Except when it’s not and I go outside to play Pokémon Go.

~ Game Over ~

Pokémon Sun (3DS) – FINALLY. I haven’t been so excited about a game since Smash 4. And you know I’m not kidding because I tore through that sucker in only a week. Also, have you seen Crabominable yet??

crabominable

Heaven Island (PC) – A VR walking simulator MMO. Note that I do not own a VR device, so half the experience was lost on me. But I still wandered around until I’d picked up enough apples and seashells to claim all of the “achievements.”

You Deserve (PC) – I think I would have liked this horror adventure a little more if it had run a little bit smoother. It pushed my PC a little harder than it really needed to. Oh, and also it’s got jumpscares placed in seemingly random spots just for the sake of cheap jumpscares. I put up lots more words about it yesterday.

Wario Land 2 (GBC) – I was itching for a replay, so that’s what I did. Considered taking the secret route to complete the game in five levels, but opted to go for good ol’ 100% in the end. I like Wario Land 2 that much.

Paper Mario: Color Splash (WiiU) – Quite a divisive game, though personally, I think it’s incredible. It’s not really much like the N64 or GameCube Paper Marios, but at the same time, it kind of is? Also, it’s super pretty and maybe the funniest game I’ve ever played. If I have one complaint to lobby against it, it’s that they spelled “colour” wrong.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – November 2016

Pokémon Sun-Day

It’s finally here! The day of the new Pokémon games! Hurrah and hooray!

My brother and I went to a midnight launch event last night, which was not the best idea for me, as I still had to work all day today. But I just couldn’t wait another eighteen hours to get that sweet, sweet Pokémon Sun cartridge into my hands. I think I got a grand total of about three and a half hours of sleep last night, but hey, it’s Friday. I can afford run at less-than-optimal performance today.

I also made the executive decision to play for an hour when I got home, which wasn’t really enough, but it was the perfect allotment of time for me to reset over and over until I rolled a female Popplio (did not worry about getting a beneficial nature). Maybe I’m being insensitive about gender roles or whatever, but Popplio’s evolved forms just look like ladies, you know? It would feel wrong to me to have a male Primarina.

Anyway, enough typing! It’s time to actually play the darn game! All night long! Or at least until I pass out from exhaustion!

Here, have a trailer that will make absolutely no sense if you’re not a Pokéfan:

Other things that happen

I’m fairly well-known as the kind of person who doesn’t like to do things that require effort and/or pants. But last weekend, I did a whole lot of things! New(ish) things! Including but not limited to:

  • Talked to the greeter and took the time to craft my own burger at McDonald’s
  • Ate at McDonald’s on Friday, Saturday and Sunday (I’m not proud of this one)
  • Went on a late-night Pokémon Go expedition to the zoo
  • Met and played with a new puppy
  • Checked out an annual craft show for the first time
  • Bought expensive artisanal mustards
  • Was disappointed that I didn’t find a candle that I liked
  • Performed an “Irish Goodbye”
  • Helped my grandparents move into an apartment
  • Went through a regular checkout lane instead of the express checkout at Safeway because I wanted a specific cashier

What an exciting life I lead!

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – September 2016

Birthday month! Also, month of all the games. My 3DS was already in constant use since July thanks to Monster Hunter, but now it’s just flooded with huge, awesome games that tickle all of my fancies.

~ Game Over ~

KickBeat (PS3) – A game about punching endless waves of goons to the rhythm of angry nu-rock. Surprisingly, I really liked it!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (GBA) – I’m going through a TMNT thing right now, okay? Replayed this for the first time since like 2004, and I am convinced that the Shredder fight is literally impossible without cheating.

Jotun: Valhalla Edition (WiiU) – Wherein you play as a Viking warrior who must earn her place in Valhalla after suffering an inglorious death. This is done by finding and slaying a number of elemental giants. It’s a really great game!

NEO-NOW! (PC) – A pretty boring Early Access game. Maybe it’ll get better in time? I don’t really care and am just calling it a wash. To the “Done Forever” pile with you!

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – September 2016

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – August 2016

In August, I started organizing all my Steam games. To that end, I decided to actually start playing a few of those indie games I have hundreds of from cheap bundles. I also decided that it’s time to let go of truly “finishing” games and just call them done once I’m bored. For Steam games, that is. If I spend $80 on a console game, I’m damn well still going to try to wring every bit of content out of it.

~ Game Over ~

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii) – It is finished. Click here to read my long, rambling, final impressions, if you haven’t already.

Monster Hunter Generations (3DS) – Cleared both the solo and multiplayer campaigns. And by “cleared”, I mean “I did all the key quests to get to the final bosses and unlock stuff.” There is still a ton of content to play through! I haven’t even seen all the monsters yet. And the Deviants. Oh Lord, the Deviants!

Bonk’s Adventure (TG16) – I was really into Super Bonk on SNES as a child, and was so awed by the ads for Bonk games that appeared in comics, but I’d never played a “classic” Bonk before. Turns out, ehhhhh, not so hot. The framework of a decent game is there, but the levels are uninspired and Bonk’s got really strange momentum.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – August 2016