The Eldenest of Rings

I ignored Elden Ring when it launched a few months ago, in favour of a different crazy-hard action-RPG. While it was the most hype game on the internet for a while, I really wasn’t especially interested; I didn’t follow any of the pre-release news or marketing, and I haven’t played any of the Soulsborne games aside from Dark Souls.

And then I started watching a let’s play series. A few videos in, I started thinking to myself: “This game looks like a lot of fun. Why am I watching this instead of playing it myself?” And then I bought Elden Ring.

The answer to my question is, of course, “Because I’m terrible at these crazy-hard action-RPGs.”

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Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: June 2022

~ Game Over ~

Monster Hunter Rise (Switch) – Worked my way up through the post-game elder dragons to prep for the Sunbreak expansion that launches… today!

LumbearJack (PC) – A cute indie game where you play as a bear, reclaiming the forest by destroying anything unnatural. My favourite part was slapping all the humans you meet along the way. YouTube video here.

TMNT: Shredder’s Revenge (Switch) – An exceptionally good throwback to the TMNT brawlers of the 90’s. Feels great, looks great, sounds great. I even recorded a playthrough for YouTube. 10/10 will play again.

~ Progress Notes ~

New Super Mario World 2: Around the World (PC) – World 14

Final Fantasy III (DS) – Cleared Goldor’s Manor

Elden Ring (PS5) – Exploring Leyndell, Royal Capital

Haunted Zombie School (Switch) – Stage 2

The Fourth Resident Evil (again)

Sony released their latest “State of Play” video yesterday, which, if you’re not familiar, is basically the Playstation version of a Nintendo Direct. I’m not going to provide my thoughts on every game shown in the presentation, but there is one thing I’d like to highlight:

Lately, I’ve been grappling with the idea that Resident Evil 4 may have actually surpassed Super Mario 64 as my favourite video game of all time. Well, the VR version of RE4, anyway. It’s not a stretch to say that RE4VR is the most fun I’ve ever had with a single-player video game. I keep going back to it, over and over, even if just for a chapter here and there. And now Capcom is telling me that a full-on remake is less than a year away? And it’s also going to be VR compatible? Sign me up, baby!

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Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: May 2022

~ Game Over ~

Evil Tonight (Switch) – A pretty darn good 2D survival horror game. Great pixel art, a unique story, and plenty of puzzles. I really liked this one, and am glad that I recorded my playthrough for YouTube.

Ys IX: Monstrum Nox (PS4) – While very similar in structure and gameplay to Lacrimosa of Dana, Monstrum Nox does a surprisingly good job of forging its own identity. I had a great time playing it, with my two complaints being that it’s a little too anime, and the trophies are basically copy-pasted from Ys IV and VIII. So, very minor issues!

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Dick Turtle’s Gallery

You know what’s pretty great? I appear to be the internet’s foremost expert in Dick Turtle surprise bags, having been the only human in history to ever photograph and document them. At least, that’s what a cursory Google search and a couple of Reddit threads suggest. I’m willing to accept that as irrefutable proof. I need to be the internet’s foremost expert on something.

That said, I did this “research” a while ago because I received a shocking email from a “fan” who had not only read my second Dick Turtle article, but also decided to complete the Dick Turtle colouring challenge that I had issued those many years ago. …Well, “complete” might be a bit of an exaggeration. Dick Turtle remains mostly uncoloured, but this is the first submission that I’ve ever received, so it’s the best by default.

Now that I’ve received a submission, I’ll honour my promise and use this post as a gallery for any other coloured Dick Turtle pictures that people send in. Considering that it took just shy of 17 years to get a single, partially-completed submission, I don’t anticipate that I’ll ever have to edit this post. Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong!

Submission by Rory S.

Gums, and then some

I went to the dentist yesterday, and for the first time in, I think, forever, the hygienist did not ask how often I floss. Instead, she just congratulated me on my greatly improved dental hygiene practices and thanked me for making her job easier. While I do brush my teeth every day, I have been terrible at flossing for my entire life. So it’s nice to know that I’m finally getting it right!

And this kind of comes as part of a huge flip of my lifestyle over the last few months. I’ve finally been making a consistent effort to take care of myself better lately. You know, like an adult should. I’ve been exercising just about every day, I’ve been eating better and less, I’ve gone back to completely cutting out sugary beverages (even diet soda), and I have a decent-looking beard now. I suppose that a renewed commitment to keeping my gums healthy goes hand-in-hand with all the other self-care practices I’ve been focused on lately.

Now I just need to start cleaning my home more than twice a year, and I might actually be able to pass as a respectable grown-up!

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: April 2022

~ Game Over ~

Ys II: Ancient Ys Vanished ~ The Final Chapter (PC) – Another playthrough to generate YouTube “content.” So much fun, I want to play it again!

Kirby and the Forgotten Land (Switch) – 100% completion. Excellent final world, and the Colosseum was notably easier than The Arena in most recent Kirby games. Mostly because the final Sword evolution is heckin’ broken.

Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin (PS5) – You know, I think I might not be cut out for these high-octane, combat-focused action games. For all the things I like about Stranger of Paradise (and I like a lot of things about it!), the memories that endure will likely be of the incredibly frustrating boss battles, some of which took me multiple hours to win. I honestly don’t know what drove me to keep playing the post-game content…

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Fly Away

There’s a new Gloryhammer song! And it’s siiiiiick! And a new album is on the way! I’m telling you, 2022 is awesome!

I’m a little bit torn on the new singer. He’s a perfectly good fit for the job, but very different from the previous dude. It’s just that weird transition period, you know? Other than that, though? Exactly the riffy, cheesy, Gloryhammer power metal that I do so adore. I have big hopes for the rest of the album!

Now if only they would tour outside of Europe…