Wishlist

So I’ve played a lot of video games over the course of my life up until now. Only now, real life gets in the way a lot and I spend a lot more time longing for video games than actually playing them. It’s a sad state of affairs, but it’s the way she goes. I’ve decided that for fun, I’m going to make a small list of game accomplishments I’d like to make in the next year. Keeping in mind of course, that this is the abriged version. I could go on for days about games I want to play.

Another note of minor importance is that these aren’t in any specific order. I’m just noting them as they come to me. Putting them in order would likely be impossible. Oh, and none of these are games that I’m actively playing. Most have been set aside in favour of other games, and a handful I haven’t even started playing.

  • Final Fantasy XIII : Defeat Vercingetorix
  • Final Fantasy XII : Complete the story / acquire all Espers
  • Final Fantasy VI DS : Complete the story
  • Dissidia: Final Fantasy : Earn “All characters at Lv50” accomplishment
  • Dissidia 012 : Start playing
  • Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together : Complete the story
  • Monster Hunter Freedom Unite : Complete offline quests
  • Monster Hunter Tri : Play it sometimes
  • Monster Hunter: Dynamic Hunting : Get all cheevos
  • Secret of Mana (iOS) : Complete the game
  • MadWorld : Complete the game
  • Little King’s Story : Complete the game
  • Epic Mickey : Complete the game
  • Earthbound : Play again
  • Super Mario Galaxy 2 : Find all green stars (June 11/12)
  • Pokémon White : Complete Unova Pokédex (Oct 6/12)
  • LEGO Rock Band : All single-player cheevos
  • Catherine : Complete the game on Normal difficulty
  • Guitar Hero Van Halen : Complete tour mode (May 23/12)
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D : Complete Master Quest
  • The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker : Play again
  • Deadly Premonition : Start playing
  • Batman: Arkham Asylum : Start playing (Jan 2/12)
  • Fallout 3 : Complete the story (Jan 15/12)
  • Picross 3D : Complete all puzzles (May 14/12)
  • MegaMan Legends : play again (June 7/12)
  • Borderlands : Complete all story missions, all reasonable secondary missions
  • Luigi’s Mansion : Play again (Aug 29/12)
  • Pikmin 2 : Story mode full clear
  • Pikmin : Play again
  • New Super Mario Bros. Wii : Complete World 9

So yeah. Ain’t nobody can say I’m not a goal-oriented person. The relevance of my goals is questionable, but I have them. Game developers really should stop making new ones so I can catch up though. Maybe just put a freeze on new games for 2012? Not that it really matters. Once Super Mario 3D Land, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, and Mario Kart 7 arrive, it’s all over anyway.

Bound for Earth

I think it’s probably been a whole week since I’ve told anybody how much I love Earthbound. That may sound silly, but if Stephanie were actually listening when I tell her about it, at this point she’d probably know just as much about the game as someone who’s played it. (Not that I mind her zoning out or anything. I rarely listen when she talks about shoes.)

I don’t really have anything planned today. I was just thinking about Mr. Saturn and how cool it would be to master handwriting the Mr. Saturn “dialect.”

I did have an Earthbound-related dream earlier this week though! It was kind of weird, because my party consisted of myself and Stephanie, with Jeff and Britta from Community. Maybe it wasn’t that weird. Steph’s in most of my dreams, and we watched the entirety of Community season 2 last week. I don’t remember exactly how the dream went down, but the first thing I remember was coming out of the cavern in Threed’s graveyard. We walked about the town for a bit and then headed northwest from the graveyard. Earthbound’s geography isn’t perfectly charted, but I surmise that we should have ended up somewhere in the vicinity of Happy Happy Village. Or back in Twoson, depending on how long that tunnel really is.

Where we really ended up though, was another village called “Frank.” The folks there were pretty average, and Frank (the character) was nowhere to be seen. The majority of the village was laid out along a single road, and had a sort of Japanese culture to it. That part is kind of weird because Earthbound is sort of a Japanese caricature of American culture. Anyway, the town ended up leading nowhere, or at least we didn’t venture past the end of the road. We headed back and on our way out I noticed that the village was actually populated with Happy-Happyists! Spooky.

That’s when I woke up. I’m not sure what the dream means. I’ve played Earthbound enough times to know that Frank (the village) does not exist. Maybe it’s my mind trying to convince (or remind?) me that there are still secrets that I haven’t found in the game. But I’ve played it several times, and have put a lot of effort into exploring the world thoroughly. Anything I didn’t find on my own I’m sure I’ve read about. If there are still things I don’t know about Earthbound, they’re probably pretty tiny.

Anyhow, I just figured I’d share that. It was a pretty cool dream.

Spamwich

I knew that having a blog that supported comments was going to invite spam, I just never expected it to be like this. Up until last weekend, it was pretty benign: a few trying to post ads, a few muttering nonsense. Harmelss little things that popped up once in a while.

I woke up on Tuesday morning to find 37 new messages in my inbox. Surely they couldn’t all be Amazon ads. Over the last three days I’ve been hammered with over 100 spam comments. And they’re all the same thing: all “people” with legit looking information and a silly message about how much they like my site. Only most of the messages are in broken English, and often they’ll say “what a great read that was” on a post that’s just an image. Also, the website of evey one of them ended with a 2K. While I knew they were all fake, that would have been the tip-off for someone less in-the-know.

So I’ve rigged my system so that you have to sign up to comment. I know that will dissuade real random visitors from commenting, but it must be done. It takes a long time to trash all those alert emails. I’ll try to find a better way, but for now that’s the best compromise I have between legions of spambots and disabling comments completely.

It makes me wonder though, what is the point of this kind of spam? There are no penis enlargement ads. Maybe the sites they claim to be from contain malicous things, but who clicks on those anyway? It’s pointless aside from wasting my time. Unless of course wasting my time is the point. In which case: well played, spammers. Well played.

Let’s Play Minecraft – Day Five

The rattling of bones and wailing of zombies was too much for me to sleep through. The night wasn’t passing quickly, curled up in the corner wishing for sleep. My body had been put through so much in the last few days that I couldn’t grasp why it wouldn’t jump at the chance to shut down for a while. Guess my mind has been through just as much, and it didn’t want to shut off for fear of what might happen if I let my guard down.

I wandered outside slowly, hoping not to draw the attention of any attackers. There were a couple zombies standing on the southern end of Hope. Just standing. Once in a while one would emit a groan, but they didn’t notice me. I hoped to keep it that way.

A silent creeper was bobbing around in the water just past the ledge south of my hut. It did see me, and I knew that I wouldn’t be safe with it prowling around. The thing was too stupid to take the long road around the island’s edge, but I didn’t want to find out if it would learn better. As it bounced up and down in the water, desperately rubbing against the rock face, I swung my sword at its head. The creeper fell backwards and hissing started. As the monster jumped at the rock again, it exploded with tremendous force. I was thrown back several feet, and while my ears were still ringing I managed to roll onto my side, expecting to see the zombies bearing down on me.

There was no such danger. Apparently zombies aren’t too interested in exploding creepers? They continued to stare out at the ocean. Maybe they were longing for home too?

The creeper’s blast left a huge, jagged hole where there was once a sharp corner of rock. If I had been any closer, I might not have been so lucky as to walk away with all my bits intact.

I spent the twilight hours digging away at rock half hoping I could put something useful together with the bits of cobblestone, half hoping there was something of value hidden below Hope’s bland surface. No such luck. On my way back to the hut after my little excavation, I saw the strangest thing; on the far end of the island, I swore I could see a ghastly pair of eyes floating about. One of the zombies had gotten bored and paraded into the water, but there was still another figure there. Its body was a dark shade, visible only because stars that lined the horizon would blink on and off as the thing moved around.

Hiding in my hut seemed like the appropriate thing to do. Every living being in the place had been hostile so far, and I wasn’t going to assume the best for this new creature. I would wait until dawn and try to get a better idea of what the thing was.

I did doze off for a little while as I waited for the sun to rise, and was woken by the mournful howls of a zombie. The one that remained by the beach had caught fire, and was shambling around in circles, completely neglecting the water that was no more than two meters away. While the creatures here were fierce, they weren’t very bright.

The zombie melted away into a pile of nothingness and I got my first real glimpse at the new islander. It was a short one though, because almost as soon as the fire that enveloped the zombie extinguished itself, the other thing caught fire and burned to death. The thing could have almost passed as human-esque. The parts were there, head, torso, arms and legs. They were just all… wrong. Its head was massive, probably looked even more so because of its atrophied torso and long, slender limbs. For the short few moments it was in my sight, I felt a deep-rooted fear take over me. I was pretty sure that this was not a friendly creature.

Where the alien had stood I found a small, emerald pearl. If it did anything, I couldn’t figure out how to use it. I suppose it would just go into the pile of junk that I was collecting. Perhaps I’d be able to trade it if I ever found intelligent life that wasn’t out to kill me.

The morning was spent mostly doing the usual. Here, that meant lying about enjoying the sunshine and quiet rustling of the waves against Hope. I did get up and harvest a bit of wheat to fill out my supply of bread. Something a little less plain would have been nice.

In the afternoon, once I’d rested up a little, it was time for launch. My destination was the island not too far off the northwestern side of Hope. The boat worked like a charm. I was a little impressed with myself for managing to construct a boat that didn’t leak at all. Things were good.

Upon arriving at the new island, I started to step out of the boat and slipped as I placed my first foot into the shallow water. My other foot kicked off the boat, and as if friction didn’t exist, it simply shot away across the ocean. It stopped roughly halfway between the new island and Hope, and I did not relish the thought of having to swim out there to retrieve it.

The new island was so featureless that I didn’t even bother naming it. All of that hard work for nothing. I was beginning to wonder if there really was anything to this world besides a few meager islands and endless ocean. This island was flat, shaped like a horseshoe, and had absolutely nothing on it outside of a single yellow flower. I still wonder how it looked so big from Hope.

While swimming out to my boat, I had an even stranger and more frightening experience than everything that had happened up until now. I had just made it, put my hand on the edge of the boat to lift myself in, when suddenly my vision went black. I could still, feel, and my hand was now empty. Suddenly I saw a huge flash of white, and then I was sinking. My vision returned, and I hurriedly grasped at the sky that seemed so far above me. The air above had never tasted so good. While I was glad to not have drowned, I worried about both my blackout and the fact that my boat had vanished completely. I paddled in a circle, but it was nowhere to be seen.

If this ordeal ever ended, I pledged to myself, I would never swim again.

Making it back to the beach of Hope was tiring, and rain had begun pouring down. Though I was more concerned about what had just happened to me. Was I losing it? Was my diet of bread and bread not enough to sustain me? Maybe it was just a symptom of my combined physical overexertion and lack of sleep. If I blacked out while I was under attack by one of the many monsters lurking about these isles, I’d be done for. I dragged myself inside, finding that I was considerably less hopeful for survival than I was that morning.

He’s famous for a reason

It’s tradition for me to take a couple trips down to either Grand Forks or Fargo in a year. The last few years it’s been for our anniversary in April, and then once again just for fun in the fall. Whether we’re going to make it down again this year is unclear (though unlikely), but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m jonesing for some Famous Dave’s.

Oh yeah, that looks so good. If you haven’t been to Dave’s, I recommend you make it a priority. There aren’t many restaurants I’ve been to that serve so much food that I have trouble cleaning my plate, but Dave’s is one. Actually, it might be the only one. One time I took home the lasagna from my Tour of Italy, but I suspect that was because I was saving room for dessert.

If you’re still not sold, every time any of the members of my immediate family go down to the states, at least a couple bottles of Dave’s BBQ sauce come back with them.

Jenga 2: Jenga Harder

Quite often Edwin and I will sit in his apartment and play Xbox 360 game demos for the duration of an evening. Retail release, XBLA, indie games, whatever. One night I noticed that he had Hasbro Family Game Night in his game library, and that it didn’t say “demo” or “trial” anywhere. So I booted it up.

As it turned out, Hasbro Family Game Night is free, but you only get about two and a half minutes to play any given game before you’re prompted to shell out about ten bucks to unlock the game. Buying them all is a terrible idea, since you can get the disc version with all the games for as low as $20 on eBay (Incidentally, that copy is being sold by a user named “pnpgames.” Hmmmm).

Anyway, after screwing around with the trial of Jenga for an entire evening, Edwin finally decided to bite the bullet and unlock the full version of Jenga. You actually get two Jenga games when you make the purchase, but that’s besides the point. We didn’t want to play Jenga. We were out to break Jenga.

Mr. Potato Head stands on the table next to your Jenga tower, oohing and aahing as you play. He’s kind of an ass, so I was very excited when I noticed that knocking the tower over in Potato’s direction would send him flying off the table. Our goal then was to knock him off repeatedly. It was fun, but wore out once we realized that if you jiggle the blocks around just so, you can cause physically impossible things to happen with the Jenga tower. After spending some time creating ca-razy configurations, we decided it was time to move the tower.

The physics in video game Jenga aren’t exactly how they should be, and you can manage to drag the tower along by moving blocks the right way. We set a goal of dragging the tower over to the potato, and then to pull it off the edge of the table. If you’re feeling generous, Edwin managed to accomplish both feats, and I have video evidence; behold the best Xbox Jenga related videos on YouTube! Or, one of them. I can’t figure out how to embed the playlist.

Okay, so maybe only one block fell off. But it still dropped off the table! I’ll note that I find it kind of amazing that the wonderful music I chose for the background ends just as the game does. Mmm, coincidence.

Also the Potato Head glitch was pretty cool. Guess QA didn’t really take much time to screw around with the game. Live and learn, guys.

Pointless potential

So I’m mostly just doing a test here to see if I can post through my Wii. If you’re reading this, I totally can!

Proofreading from here is going to be a bitch though. The Wii’s tiny little text input window was totally not meant for this kind of work. So if you notice lots of little typos of the “jsut” and “anythign” variety, assume it’s a post written from the comfort of my bed. Which might make this worth it. Now unless I need to post an image, I have one less major reason to turn on my computer. Poor, neglected compy.

In related news, I’m on my third Wii console now. Not because I’m Nintendo’s bitch and keep buying each new colour or anything, but because Netflix is a horrible Wii murderer. Well, maybe it’s not Netflix, but all the evidence points to that conclusion. Let me start from the start.

Once upon a time, little Ryan was super excited that he got a message from Nintendo (via WiiConnect24, which is otherwise useless) that said he could now download a Netflix channel for his Wii. Little Ryan downloaded that channel with all the gusto, and immediately dove in. The first movie that queued up, completely by chance, was Confessions of a Nymphomaniac. Little Ryan felt a different kind of excitement and watched it. His love for Netflix bloomed instantly. Life would be wonderful from now on.
After watching more movies on the Netflix channel for hours, Ryan turned the Wii off and left to do other things for a while. He came back even later on, but when he turned on his Wii, it showed a horrible message:

“System memory has been corrupted.”

Little Ryan was devastated. His best friend had suffered from an apparent brain aneurysm, and he didn’t know what do to. The next day he turned on the Wii, just to see, and to his delight it worked! Little Ryan jumped for joy! For a while, everything seemed perfect, but then the Wii stopped working for real. It did not recover from the memory corruption, and had to be sent away to be replaced with a new console.

Little Ryan was depressed for the two long weeks his Wii was gone, but he was ecstatic when it returned, still loaded with all his Virtual Console and WiiWare purchases. Only while the license to download them was retained, they refused to play on the new console. Little Ryan set about re-downloading them all, painful a task though it was. At the end, he downloaded the Netflix channel again, and set about to watch him some River Monsters. Man, Little Ryan loved him some River Monsters.

Days and weeks went by uneventfully. Little Ryan and the Netflix channel were living happily together until one morning Ryan woke up and his Wii said

“System memory has been corrupted”

Little Ryan was devastated. Again. His Wii was dead again! But it pulled through the crisis, and Little Ryan continued to Netflix. Over the next few months the error came up again. At first it seemed to happen randomly, but as the fall set in, it started to happen every time Little Ryan tried to turn on his console. He eventually gave up and sent it in for repairs.

When Little Ryan received the second replacement Wii, he vowed to never download the Netflix channel again, because it was the devil. Four years, Little Ryan and his original console had spent together, and never had a problem. Now Little Ryan and his third Wii get along just fine, and there is no Netflix to be seen.

The End

So yeah. That’s what happened in a nutshell. The really sad part is that I loved the Netflix channel. Yes, Canadian Netflix lacks most of the AAA movies, but who cares? There’s so much on there to watch anyway! I felt like a kid in a candy store every single time I booted that channel up. I always found something to watch, and ended up watching tons of stuff that I’d have never even heard of without it. I owe Netflix a great deal, and I’m sad that I can no longer use it through my TV.

I do still subscribe to Netflix, and occasionally use it through my iPhone (mostly during workout time), though I’m a little skeptical about loading it up on my 3DS. Who knows what it’ll do? I’m certainly not signing up for Xbox Live Gold just for Netflix. One monthly fee is enough. I intend to find a cable that can make my iPhone do TV-out soon so that I can watch stuff on my TV, but it’s still not the same. The Netflix Wii interface was a little clunky, but it was nice. Better than the iPhone interface anyway. Oh well, those days have passed, and for now I live with Netflix being more a fond memory than anything else.