I am bad at Uncanny Valley

In January, one of the free games available on PS4 through the PS+ program was Uncanny Valley. Now, normally I don’t bother with the weird little indie games that they put up there, but Uncanny Valley is a horror adventure game. And when you’re me, “horror” and “free” are the magic words. One or the other will pique my attention, but both will guarantee a download.

The game begins in a nightmare scenario, wherein your guy wakes up in an alley and is subsequently mauled by shadow monsters. Then he wakes up in his home but the shadow monsters sack the place and maul him again. Then the game proper begins and you’re on the subway to a new job. You’ve been hired on as a night security guard at an abandoned office building. You get the tour and instructions from the morbidly obese day shift guard, Buck, and then you’re off to the races.

Now, Uncanny Valley is the type of game where your actions affect how the story plays out. I apparently did quite poorly, as I got a pretty awful ending. But that’s putting the horse in front of the cart. Gameplay consists of wandering throughout the office building for seven in-game hours each night. Then you can either retire to your bedroom to sleep, or continue wandering until you pass out. It seems like every time you fall asleep, you’re taken to a new dream sequence where you end up getting mauled by the shadows again. I don’t know if the mauling is inevitable or something I was screwing up, but I’m not sure I’ll ever find out the truth.

The first couple nights weren’t very exciting. I met the woman who is in charge up facility upkeep, Eve, and found a number of cassette tapes lying about. There was a safe in the 4th floor office that I had no key to, and I was able to turn on a number of computers to read through staff emails. Other than that, nothing happened. I guess I also learned that if you hold the right analog stick, it shows you how much time is left in your shift.

On night three, I found a tape deck and started listening to the cassettes that I’d collected, but then the power went off, and Buck told me that I’d have to go out to the generator to reset it. There was a puzzle on the generator that I was unable to solve, so when my guy passed out, I was put in control of Buck, who then had to go out to fix it himself. This is when the first spooky thing happened, and the screen faded to black as a scream rang out, following by a number of gory sounds.

When I woke up, there was an odd red light shining into my washroom, apparently coming in from the next room. But I couldn’t get into any of the other rooms, so that was a dead end. I opted not to go over to the generator room, just to see what would happen if I ignored it. Turns out, nothing at all. I listened to the rest of the cassettes, which had recording of a man speaking to an AI of some sort, and said AI apparently hurt a man whom she was getting to know fairly well. Seems like maybe that was what happened.

After listening to all the tapes, I hit my timer to see that my shift was over. My guy passed out though, and the next day when I checked my timer, the shift was already over again. Bluh? I spent the day exploring the few rooms I hadn’t been to yet, and the day after that, the timer still said my shift was over from the moment I woke up. So something had gone horribly wrong. Whether it was a bug or intentional, I do not know.

I walked down to the generator room to find Buck’s mangled corpse, but my guy did not react to it in the slightest. Weird. I felt the urge to end this madness as quickly as possible, so I went up to Buck’s room, stole his car keys, and attempted to take off his his car. But I was greeted by some hoodlums who I’d apparently wronged somehow, and they knocked me out and took me into the office. I woke up in some sort of production facility, and complied when they said not to move a muscle. Then the lights went out and there were screams and more gory noises. When the lights came back on, I wandered to the back of the room passing by the mutilated corpses of the hoodlums, and found Eve. Then she knocked me out.

I woke up in an idyllic-looking house, along with Eve. She said she loved me and we’d be happy together forever. Ruh-roh. I wandered over to the bathroom, where my guy was like “I bet I could break this mirror” so I did that and got a shard of glass. Then I went to the storage room and found a grate. Being an adventure game, I attempted to use the shard of glass to pry to grate open and escape, but my guy was standing too close and interpreted my action as wanting to use the glass on himself. And that’s how I ended up slicing my guy’s gut open.

When he woke up again, Eve had bandaged him up, and when I tried to walk away, my guy decided to try to sock her in the face. At which point she knocked him out. Again. Finally, he woke up strapped to the wall, with Eve explaining somberly how she had to make sure that he couldn’t hurt himself any more. So she hacked his limbs off one by one and cauterized the stumps with a blowtorch. Then she cuddled up to his mangled torso and said “I love you.”

I don’t know if I’ll play this game again to try to earn a better different ending, but man, that went places. And here I was, playing just to try to do a good job at being the night guard.

Monster Hunter World: (could be) The Movie

In the review I posted a few days ago, I made note that Monster Hunter World has a much more engaging story than any previous game in the series. While it’s been fun to follow as I play through the game, I don’t know if MonHunWorld’s story will stick with me at all after the fact. Lord knows that I have no idea what any of the other games’ stories were about any more. What I do know, however, is that this plot is scores better than the plot that I’ve read for the upcoming Monster Hunter movie.

First of all, let’s look at a brief summary of Monster Hunter World’s plot. It begins with your hunter, part of the Fifth Fleet, travelling to an island called the New World. Your fleet is part of the bigger Research Commission, who are in the New World to investigate a phenomena wherein elder dragons cross the seas to the New World every ten years. The particular monster you’re tracking is Zorah Magdaros, a gigantic turtle-like creature that wears a volcano as a shell. Throughout the course of the game, you follow tracks of Zorah Magdaros (though how something that big manages to elude the Commission, I cannot explain), learning about the New World and the creatures that inhabit it. At the midpoint, you learn that the elder dragons migrate to the New World because it’s their final resting place. But Zorah Magdaros has a massive amount of energy built up inside of it, and if it happens to reach the heart of the island when it dies, the release of that energy will incinerate the entire place. For some reason. I’ve already forgotten why exactly. Because it’s going to take a dip in the lifestream or something.

This all leads up to an exciting climactic showdown where the Commission tries to block Zorah from the lifestream or whatever, diverting it back out to sea where it can expire harmlessly. It’s actually a really great setpiece, and makes for a very entertaining climax in the game. There’s cannons, a really big ship with a giant mechanical spear weapon in the hull, and a happy ending. Putting all that on the big screen would probably be pretty neat too. The story actually does continue afterward, but it’s into another mystery that isn’t strictly necessary to get across the point of the Zorah Magdaros story arc. So let’s call it there.

Now, as far as the proposed movie goes, the first strike is that it’s being directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. You might know this fella as the man responsible for all those Resident Evil movies that everyone hates. According to buzz on the internet, his script “would involve an American being dragged into the parallel universe that the Monster Hunter series is set in, learning how to fight monsters, and having to deal with the situation when monsters cross back into the real world and start attacking, such as a final climactic battle at Los Angeles International Airport.”

So basically it’s Space Jam.

Normally I like to try to be more positive about upcoming media. It’s really entitled to damn something before the final product is ready. But I really don’t care for this particular brand of the fish-out-of-water story. Especially because there’s no need for it. Why do we need to tie this into the real world? The fantasy world of Monster Hunter is so rich and interesting on its own, it would be a disservice to only give it half a spotlight to placate Average Moviegoer. Or at least, I’m assuming you would go that route so that people who don’t play Monster Hunter have a point-of-view character that they can relate to. You could also write the story this way because it’s a great way to completely avoid have to be creative and write an actual story. But hey, who am I to judge?

Anyway, that’s my little spiel for today. Just something I felt like I needed to rant about. Regardless of how uninspired the plot my be, I’ll still go see a Monster hunter movie. I really just wanna see those monsters up on a giant screen.

Ugh… Now that I say that, I just realized that there will probably be some Hollywood re-designs of the monsters. That’s… I’m not looking forward to that.

A dino-sized review: Monster Hunter World

I’ve been playing Monster Hunter games for almost eight years now, and as time goes on, I only find myself more and more enamored of the series. Maybe that’s a little weird considering how little it has changed over the course of the last decade, but you know what they say – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Monster Hunter has actually developed very similarly to the Pokémon series of its lifetime. Each game contains the same core gameplay mechanics, and every sequel refines a few mechanics, sands down some rough patches, and maybe throws in some weird new distraction that can be helpful if you take the time to use it. Where the bigger differences lie are in the new worlds to explore in each game, and the new stable of monsters that come around with each generation.

However, times are changing, and so are the things that we thought we could expect from a new Monster Hunter game. Two years ago, Pokémon Sun and Moon changed up the Pokémon formula in some very drastic and surprising ways, and now with Monster Hunter World, Capcom has proved that they don’t have to stick to the rigid formula that we’ve seen in every MonHun game that came before it.

Now that I’ve said that though, I’d like to note that the core gameplay loop is the same: Take your big weapons, find a big monster, kill it, and use its fangs and scales to fashion bigger weapons to fight bigger monsters with. Repeat ad infinitum with bigger and stronger monsters. This can’t change, or else it just wouldn’t be Monster Hunter. Obviously. But everything that’s wrapped around this core concept has seen a change that ranges between mild tweaking to a complete overhaul.

Continue reading A dino-sized review: Monster Hunter World

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – January 2018

~ Game Over ~

Mega Man X (SNES) – Much consideration went into the choice of what the first video game I played in 2018 would be. But it really couldn’t have gone any other way.

Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls (PS4) – A shooter spin-off of a visual novel mystery series. So for every 5 minutes of gameplay, there’s 20 minutes of dialogue. Still liked it.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Switch) – I purposely waited until 2018 to finish it so I didn’t have to reorganize my “best games beaten in 2017” list. It would have been much too hard to place.

Rhythm Thief and the Emperor’s Treasure (3DS) – Dug this up to beat it so that I could delete it to make room on my SD card. It’s actually an excellent game. Reminds me of Space Channel 5.

Mr. Pumpkin Adventure (WiiU) – A highly surreal point-and-click adventure about helping a pumpkin-headed man with amnesia to remember who he is and why he’s an amnesiac.

Monster Hunter World (PS4) – Tore through the story quests, because the game doesn’t really begin until you gain access to the High Rank quests. Loving it, but longing for portability.

~ Now Playing ~

Resident Evil 7 (PS4) – Booted ‘er up for the first time in a long while to dive into all the DLC from the season pass that I bought with the game last year and subsequently ignored.

Pokémon Ultra Sun (3DS) – The adventure continues, at a rate of about half an hour a week.

Yooka-Laylee (Switch) – I don’t know how the game was when it initially launched, but I think that the current version is generally a very good homage to Banjo-Kazooie.

Volgarr the Viking (Switch) – Almost beat world 2, but man, the boss is really tough.

Horizon: Zero Dawn (PS4) – After a painfully slow start, it’s definitely getting its hooks into me. Except when I had to kill a bunch of people with a chain gun. That was really dumb.

Milkmaid of the Milky Way (iOS) – Retro-style adventure game about a rancher who must… rescue her cows from aliens? Fun, but the rhyming text often feels forced and gets annoying.

Super Mario RPG (SNES) – Played via emulator, which caused the game to crash quite often. Funny, I don’t have that problem when playing on an actual console…

TE’s Top 7 Games Beaten in 2017

Hello! 2017 is over, so like everyone else on the internet, it’s time for me to do a “Top X Y’s of 2017” list. Video games seemed fitting this year, because 2017 was like the best year for video games ever. And I chose to do 7 because 17 is way too many and 10 is too mainstream.

If you’re new here, how I do my year-end lists is different from most. In the case of video games specifically, I don’t choose from games released in the year, but rather from the pool of games that I’ve beaten during the year (that said, 5 out of 7 are 2017 games). This is partially because I split my time fairly evenly between new releases and retro games, and partially because I like to go against the grain. Also, games that I’ve beaten before are excluded (or else the list would just be Mega Man X and Shovel Knight over and over).

Preamble complete! Back to adventure! …I mean, article!

This is easily the one that sticks out as the weirdest of the group. An action-heavy road-trip rogue-like? Actually, it may even stick out as one of the weirdest video games period. Or maybe not, because there’s all sorts of insane junk on Steam these days.

More to the point, Death Road to Canada is about, well, a road-trip to Canada in a world where zombies have taken over. Maybe not the most compelling or unique tale, but that’s not the real meat of the game. During your travels, you will have to stop off at various locations, like abandoned apartment buildings and grocery stores. Here, you will face down endless hordes of zombies while searching high and low for supplies. You’ll be able to use nearly anything you find as a weapon, and sometimes you’ll even pick up other survivors to join your pilgrimage.

That’s nothing especially new; in fact it feels a lot like a 2D version of Dead Rising. What sets Death Road apart is the RPG bits in between action sequences. It works almost like a choose-your-own-adventure, in that you’ll be given random events along the road. Maybe you run into a band of thieves, maybe one of your party stumbles across an angry moose, maybe you decide to stop off at a mini-golf course. Often, you’re given a choice of how to deal with these situations, and depending on your choices, you could end up with extra supplies, or someone leaves the group because they were blamed for a particularly nasty fart, or your entire team ends up dead in a flaming car wreck. These events give the game a very unique flavour, especially since all the while, your band of travellers will be making snarky comments to and about each other.

There are so many variables at work in Death Road to Canada, so many events, weapons, game modes, weird random jokes and randomly-generated characters, that you could play it for weeks upon weeks and not see everything. The amount of content is only made that much sweeter by the fact that the game is always fun. Smacking up zombies and finding treasure is always a great time, even when you’re under pressure by a particularly thick horde or a looming nightfall. Survival in the face of impossible odds is the greatest feeling, and what’s even better is that there’s a two-player cooperative mode that lets you and a friend tackle the trip to the Canadian border together.

How did Super Mario Odyssey, possibly my most hotly anticipated video game of 2017, end up only at number six? To be fair, it was nearly impossible to actually rank these last seven games, but what set them apart is that every game that ranked higher made me feel something. They hit nerves, toyed with my emotions, frustrated me the best ways, and truly absorbed me. The only thing that I felt throughout Odyssey was “WHEE! I’M HAVIN’ A GREAT TIME!” Which is still great, of course, but it probably won’t really register as an especially strong memory for me.

That said, if I were ranking the games completely objectively, I’d likely slot in Mario at #2, so.

Let’s start again. Super Mario Odyssey is amazeballs. I don’t like to use that word, but I literally can’t think of anything else that quite perfectly describes how excellent this game is. It is the purest example of what I think a video game can and should be. It’s a massive, glorious adventure into worlds that toys with your preconceptions of what Mario levels should be and what kinds of challenges you’ll face in said levels, and it never stops being fun. It never stops being suprising and exciting, and I absolutely cannot wait for the inevitable DLC kingdoms.

I think the most important aspect of the game’s appeal is its unexpected simplicity. And to that end, I would like to direct you to the video at this link. It is a wonderful analysis of Super Mario Odyssey’s mechanics, and how even though they are simple, they can lead to endless possibilities and countless hours of fun. Go on, drink the Kool-Aid.

If Super Mario Odyssey fell behind the rest of the pack because it “only” made me feel pure elation, Resident Evil 7 edged it out because it made me feel absolute terror. It made me feel some other things too, like complete despair and a desperate need for more hours in the day, but mostly just the terror.

To properly describe that, we need to start at the very start. Specifically, the initial reveal of the new gameplay style. After the mostly despised Resident Evil 6, Capcom had to seriously re-think what they would do with the main series going forward. Their solution was to dial it back to a smaller-scale story, focus more on horror than action, and put the player in a first-person perspective. I was highly wary of this at first, but it turned out for the best in all the ways. I absolutely consider RE7 to be up there with RE2 and RE4 as one of the best games in the series.

I’ve written about this game several times before, but I guess it’s worth summing up again. RE7 is a horror masterpiece. Most of the game is spent quietly sneaking around spooky environments, hoping that monsters aren’t going to pop out and murder you. They inevitably do, and it’s much, much worse when those monsters are replaced by stalkers who will relentlessly prowl around, looking to find and kill you. The story is much smaller in scope than the last few main games, putting you in the shoes of a man looking for his assumed-dead wife in a creepy swamp mansion. Of course, there’s more to it than that, and the fun twists and reveals are very impactful, and very much in the classic Resident Evil style.

I also want to make a small mention that RE7 has some of the best DLC I’ve paid for. The two “banned footage” packs contain alternate game modes like an escape room and an ultra-hard remix of the Baker mansion. I haven’t played the second pack yet, but I got a real kick out of the first one. Two new story episodes were released right at the end of the year, and I haven’t made time to play them (or even room on my PS4 to download them), but one stars the one and only Chris Redfield, so I’m very eager to give it a go in 2018.

I’ve already written a huge spiel about this one, so maybe give that a read and then come back to check out the rest. If you need a TLDR, here are a the main bullet points:

  • A great evolution of classic Mega Man gameplay
  • Generally excellent boss battles
  • The game that Mighty No.9 should have been
  • Insanely thorough weapon customization features
  • Eight playable characters (though five are paid DLC)
  • Tons of extra content (collectibles, achievements, modes)

Honestly it was an incredibly difficult choice whether to include this or Hollow Knight as the 2D platformer on the list. They both really deserve it, but I am biased toward run-and-gun action. If this were a Top 8 list, however, rest assured that the extra spot would belong to Hollow Knight.

Like Mighty Gunvolt Burst, 2016’s DOOM washed over me like a wonderful wave of nostalgia; a terrific modernization of a classic franchise. Both are shooters -albeit of a different perspective- that build on their inspirations, though their modern incarnations couldn’t be more different. While IntiCreates took the retraux road, Bethesda brought DOOM fully into the current generation of gaming with all the fancy bells and whistles.

But bells and whistles are where the upgrades ended. Sure, the game looks gorgeous, gives you permanent power-ups, is rendered in full 3D and has all sorts of nonsensical DLC packages, but at its core, DOOM is still DOOM. It is pure and simple, unlike the vast majority of modern shooters. You won’t see any cover mechanics or regenerating health or annoying attempts at realism here. Doomguy can carry all of his guns at once, and never has to reload. Doomguy jumps like a video game character and can clamber up ledges. Doomguy can collect crazy powerups like Berserk, which imbues him with the strength to smash even the largest monsters to giblets with just his fists. It is my perfectly idealized first-person shooter.

I think that what really sold me on DOOM, however, is that as much as it feels like classic DOOM, it also feels strangely reminiscent of Metroid Prime. The game is segmented into stages, but each one is a massive area full of secrets that can be freely explored. There is a ton of verticality in every level, which I think is what really makes it feel like Metroid; you’ll be hitting the jump button just as often as the shoot button. Combat isn’t about hiding behind cover and taking careful potshots. You need to constantly be moving, because the enemies will follow you relentlessly and trying to hide will only get you pinned down and killed. Fighting is fast and active; every encounter is legitimately thrilling, and there is a very real threat of being killed at all times. It’s just got a really nice flow that Call of Duty and Halo have never nailed.

Literally the only thing that I didn’t like about DOOM was the bosses. While they are a tick above classic DOOM bosses, they still brought the game’s pace to a screeching halt by being significantly harder than anything else the game throws at you. But everything else was perfect! The lightning-fast combat, the focus on exploration, the adrenaline-pumping glory kill system, the sweet weapon modifications, and let’s not forget the bumpin’ death metal soundtrack! Yes, DOOM was a very strong contender for the #1 spot on this list, and I thoroughly regret having waited so long to play it.

I’m not really sure where to start here. I think we all know by now that the original NieR is one of my favourite games ever, on the strength of its characters, narrative, and soundtrack. The gameplay is all about deconstructing video game tropes, and the true ending contains a twist that you just don’t see in mainstream games (or any games that aren’t NieR, for that matter).

I went into NieR: Automata expecting more of the same, and I was not disappointed. It started up with a world that prompted so many questions; the far future of Earth where the last remaining humans live on the moon while their android army battles the mechanical forces of alien invaders back on the planet. Only, after a few hours, you start to wonder why you never see any humans or aliens. It’s a typical Yoko Taro game, with plenty of haunting themes and so many events that exist just to punch you in the gut and break your heart. It’s an examination of the nature of people and why we’re so friggin’ obsessed with violence and war. My advice to any considering playing this game is to not get too attached to any of the characters. Especially not any of the more immediately lovable ones.

Like NieR before it, Automata likes to toy with genre and perspective, but not nearly as much as the original game did. There’s no top-down Diablo-style level. There’s no text adventure segment to the game. Fishing is significantly less complicated and not at all important to your quest. But by focusing on two genres (third-person action and shoot-em-up), Platinum was able to polish up the gameplay to a level far surpassing that of the first game. That and it’s really nice to see those two particular genres mashed up, as it’s a very uncommon combination in our modern world of genre-bending indie games. The dappled-in RPG elements are a nice touch, too, as the androids’ chip system makes way more sense that Nier’s word system ever did. I just wish that they hadn’t felt the need to make it more like Dark Souls by having to recover your body if you get killed.

What separates it from the original NieR and its sister series, the Drakengard games, is that it actually isn’t completely hopeless. After all those hours, when I finally finished Ending E, I found myself tearing up in joy, at the beauty of what was happening on screen in from of me. And that song, Weight of the World; I still get a little misty-eyed when I listen to the “complete” version, and I listen to it quite a lot. The soundtrack in general is just phenomenal. The original NieR’s soundtrack might be one of the very best in video games, and Automata’s is absolutely up there too. It’s maybe not quite as good, but it’s still unbelievable. There is so much feeling baked into every track, and you really just don’t get music like this in… anything, really.

Of course it’s the new Zelda game. I mean, come on now.

What really makes Breath of the Wild extra special is that it’s probably the first game since Xenoblade Chronicles X that I’ve really gotten lost in. Like, the “I came home every day and just played until I fell asleep” kind of lost in it. It was my second life for a solid month, and continues to be something that I think about even when I haven’t picked it up in a while.

It wasn’t until only a couple weeks ago that I started hearing that a lot of folks, even fellow Nintendo fanboys, aren’t too keen on the game. And, you know, I get it. I really do. It’s so vastly different from every other Zelda game (except maybe the first) that I can see why people wouldn’t dig it. But I really, really do. I love that openness, that lack of direction. Zelda games have been so linear for years now that it’s nice to finally have a game that absolutely feels like Zelda, but lets you do whatever you want whenever you want. I think what really seals it for me is that I can just enjoy the world for itself more than most other video game enthusiasts. I don’t need a little trinket as a reward every few steps. For me, the importance of the journey far outweighs whatever is at the destination.

The vast world is only the main draw, though. All the little things within it are gravy. Fighting monsters is always fun and varied because your stock of weapons is constantly changing. The shrines are almost all very fun little things to find and solve (but the motion-control shrines can frig right off). The divine beasts are shorter than the more complex dungeons of games past, but I found them to be very cool little jungle gyms to play around in. Truth be told though, I still haven’t even beaten them all. Towns mean more than ever now that there are real sidequests and shopping is a much bigger part of the game. And honestly, just poring over the in-game map to try to find all the little references and cool geography is like a smaller game unto itself.

If there is one thing that I could change about Breath of the Wild, I think I’d like for there to be just a little more randomness to it. Like in Skyrim, how a dragon can come out of nowhere to wreck your day. I’m not asking for a lot, just a little something so that even once you’ve spent your entire life exploring every nook and cranny of Hyrule, there’s still something that can surprise you once in a while. Though I think that may be exactly what Master Mode is for. I still haven’t given it a try.

Breath of the Wild isn’t perfect. Of course not. But it’s easily the most impactful game that I’ve played all year. Some day, when there aren’t five billion other games to play, I really hope to finally get back into it and check out all the DLC. I hear that the extra story content is really quite good. Maybe that’ll be my game of the year for 2018.

Thinks and thoks: Nintendo Labo

So, okay. Nintendo teases a new something-or-other a couple mornings ago. This is a week after the Mini Direct, so it’s… weird. The first word that comes to mind is weird. Because why hold a separate thing for a single thing when you just did a big fancy thing for a bunch of things just a week before?

Oh. Because it’s something completely different.

Enter Nintendo Labo. What it is, as far as I can surmise, is a bunch of accessories for your Switch that make the games that go with them more immersive. Basically a much crazier extension of the whole Wiimote idea. The difference here is that all these accessories are made of cardboard, and you get to pop out the pieces and assemble them yourself. So now Nintendo is selling large-scale papercraft to accessorize their games with.

My knee-jerk reaction was something along the lines of “this is going to be an even bigger money sink than regular video games and also it’ll be a heck of a lot of cardboard clutter.” Actually, I think that’s still pretty on-point for how I feel about Labo a few days later. Only now I know the price of these Labo kits and LOLOLOL no way José. $100 for the starter kit? There’s no friggin’ way.

That’s not to say that I don’t think this is kind of neat. I could see myself buying into Labo anywhere as recently as five years ago. Heck, I’m sure that as I kid I would have died for these overpriced cardboard gimmicks. But now, I just don’t have the money or space to care (huh, exactly why I can’t care about VR). Plus, we still really have no idea what the games are going to be like. Labo is being marketed directly at actual children, so I’m thinking these are going to be pretty simple affairs. It’s not like I’m ever going to need a cardboard Master Sword to play the next Legend of Zelda.

What I think would make the whole thing more attractive -and it’s something that Nintendo (specifically) would never do- would be to make the Labo software free, and just charge more reasonable prices for the cardboard kits. Kids are going to ruin that stuff and need to buy replacement kits, so it’ll still be a fountain of income if consumers take to the idea. Unless, of course, the software is perfectly usable without the accessories, in which case that idea falls apart completely.

Anyway, those are my brief thoughts on Labo. Frankly, I don’t much care. But that’s okay. It’s not meant for me. I think it’ll probably be great for those who are interested in it.

But then again, it’s me. So don’t be surprised if I write up a post about how I love my new Labo Toy-Cons on the day after launch.

Nintendo Direct Mini reactions!

Nintendo shadow dropped a little Nintendo Direct this morning. I mean, sort of. The date leaked online a while ago, and Nintendo had been making vague tweets in the days leading up to it, but it was never formally announced. So as a Nintendo-focused blogger, I feel like it’s my sworn duty to go over it and write up some thoughts.

The World Ends With You: Final Remix – I bought the original version on DS, and played it for roughly an hour before it got lost in the tide and I sold it due to lack of interest. I can tell you definitively that this port would suffer the exact same fate, so I’m surely just going to take a pass on this one.

Pokkén Tournament DX DLC – I didn’t buy Pokkén DX, because I have the original on Wii U. And while adding Blastoise is a very effective hook if you’re trying to get my money, it’s still just not enough to get me to buy this game a second time. I didn’t get into it as much as I hoped I would the first time around, I doubt the second time will be the charm.

Kirby Star Allies – Okay, now we’re talking. I love Kirby games, obvi. But to be honest, I was thinking about skipping over this one. I mean, I know that I’ll enjoy it, but Kirby side-scrollers are all pretty samey, so I was thinking maybe just play Planet Robobot again and save myself the $90. Can you believe that things have gotten so bad that new video games cost $90? (After tax, that is.) That’s just ridiculous. I need a cheaper hobby.

I’ll probably end up buying it anyway. It’s just to gosh-darn pretty!

Some demos – I have zero interest in Kirby Battle Royale, and I already have Dragon Quest Builders on PS4. Pass. Pass.

Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition – I already own this game on Wii U and 3DS. I’ve purchased the DLC packs on both versions. I’ve spent approximately $185 on this game already. And yet, I can’t help but desperately yearn to buy it again on Switch. I’m going to do my best to ignore it, but don’t be surprised if one day I write a blog post about how I couldn’t afford food for two weeks because I bought friggin’ Hyrule Warriors a third time. I don’t mind buying a game a second time if there’s some added value, but when you get to a third or fourth purchase, that’s where I have to start drawing lines. This version adds nothing but Breath of the Wild costumes. Not exactly a major draw.

Mario Tennis Aces – I like that Camelot seems to be putting some heart into this one, after the last three or four Mario Tennis games were half-assed disappointments, but the fact of the matter is that I never really get into these Mario sports games. Likely because I have no friends to play them with.

Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana – I won’t lie, 90% of the appeal here is that Dana character and her excessively skimpy outfit. I don’t usually care for the terrible costumes that female characters get in JRPGs, but this one really clicks with me for some reason. Other than that… ehhhh. I don’t know enough about the Ys series to care, and my budget just doesn’t have room for something that I don’t get an immediate urge to purchase.

Super Mario Odyssey: Luigi’s Balloon World – It’s a free update for a game I already own. So yeah, I’ll probably give it a go. Don’t see much appeal, though.

SNK Heroines Tag Team Frenzy – Meh. I have a King of Fighters game on my Switch. I already never play that enough.

ACA NEO-GEO Art of Fighting 2 – What did I just say?

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle DLC – I love this game and I love this trailer, but I don’t think I’ll be buying this DLC. I’ll give it an honest consideration if I ever get around to finishing the main game. But, that’s not looking too likely.

PAYDAY 2 – Don’t care.

Fe – Sorry, I stopped watching. What was this?

Celeste – I was only half paying attention while this game was on. I don’t know what it’s about, but the visuals certainly smack of something that I would dig.

DKC: Tropical Freeze – Oh hey look another Wii U port that I’m not going to buy. Don’t get me wrong, Tropical Freeze is a magnificent game in every regard, but I haven’t even finished it. And the Funky Kong mode looks like a good way to give players an “easy mode” without shaming them like Super Kong. Still. Unless it’s coming in at half-price, I can’t see it happening for me.

Dark Souls RemasteredUH HUH YES DAY ONE.

Praise the sun! To think that a port of a game released in 2012 is the thing that excited me most from this presentation. But, it’s Dark Souls. Dark Souls. In Japan it’s been confirmed that it won’t even be a full-price release, so woop woop here I go again to Lordran! Gonna be prepared to die on the bus! On my lunch break! On the toilet! Prepared to die everywhere!

Plus I never bought the DLC for my 360 copy, so there’s even some new-to-me content in there!

2017 Video Games Stats

I keep a big Excel spreadsheet of all the video games I buy (it’s much easier to keep updated than The Backloggery), and I thought that it would be fun to break down all that info into numbers. Because I’m a big old nerd and I love organizing data and determining statistics. There’s really not much else to say about it, so let’s jump right in!

Acquisition Stats
Video games “purchased” in 2017 : 148
That’s a lot! Like, too many! But let’s look at some numbers that might make it seem less crazy. (Please note that neither this figure nor any below take into account the SNES Classic Mini.) Things seemed to be going well (aside from “Switch mania”), but then I bought two Halloween bundles, and the year-end sales really got to me, and the number just got really inflated.

Games that were free : 26 (18%)
Games that came in bundles : 51 (34%)
The term “free” covers several cases. Mostly free-to-play games and monthly PS+ downloads. But there’s also at least one cross-buy counted, and games gifted to me are included there.
“Bundles” don’t only mean Humble Bundles and the like. I also included any instances where multiple games were purchased for one price, such as Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove.

Double-dips : 18 (12%)
Paid DLC / microtransactions : 7 (5%)
On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are a lot of games purchased that I already own on another machine. Simple ports and HD remasters are counted, but full-on remakes are not.
Thankfully, I didn’t spend very much money on additional content or premium currencies in freemium games. A lot of games supplied free DLC this year, which is awesome!

Physical games : 19 (13%)
Digital games : 129 (87%)
I can still remember a time where I was a staunch supporter of buying physical as often as possible. And now… there are so many advantages to buying digital that I can’t help myself. There’s only one tax, you can usually get a really good sale, they don’t take up room on the shelf, I don’t have to go to the store… I often wonder how much money I’d save if digital distribution’s ease to impulse buy wasn’t a thing.

Completion Stats
2017 games played : 82 (55%)
2017 games beaten : 45 (30%)
2017 games done : 40 (27%)
Keep in mind that these stats are only relative to games acquired in 2017. Does not include any games purchased in a previous year. There’s also an important distinction between Beaten and Done. Beaten signifies that I have “rolled the credits” or whatever the equivalent might be. Done is a little looser, as it means that I am completely done with a game. This could mean that I played it to 100% completion, or that I gave up after 20 minutes and never intend to return, or that I lost access to it because I cancelled my PS+ subscription. Or something else along those lines.

I did give my figures a somewhat questionable boost with a few games that can’t be beaten or completed in any measurable factor, like Namco Museum, and immediately filed them under both Beaten and Done. Still, I think the fact that I didn’t even get around to trying 46% of the games I bought last year is rock-solid evidence that I bought far too many games.

System Stats
3DS games purchased : 15 (10%)
DS games purchased : 1 (1%)
Wii U games purchased : 12 (8%)
Switch games purchased : 36 (24%)
PS3 games purchased : 3 (2%)
PS4 games purchased : 33 (22%)
Steam games purchased : 40 (27%)
iOS games purchased : 8 (5%)
There are a lot of little notes that come out of this data…
For one, I didn’t think I had bought that many PS4 games, but then I remembered that a third of those games were free with PS+ and I likely never would have bothered with them otherwise.
I also went a little nutty in March-August, buying up any Switch game that even vaguely piqued my interest. Such is life with a new console in a world where game rentals no longer exist.
If I hadn’t bought any IndieGala bundles, I would have paid for exactly 4 Steam games last year.
I considered breaking down all these numbers by played/beat/done, but there’s just no way to display that nicely in WordPress without a significant amount of effort. So the totals will just have to suffice.

Finally, because I love to compare statistics…

2016 Comparison!
Video games purchased in 2016 : 184 (19.5% decrease in 2017)
2016 games played : 82 (44%)
2016 games beaten : 47 (25%)
2016 games done : 49 (26%)
Holy crow! No wonder I couldn’t afford to keep my house! I bought way too many games in 2016! And I didn’t even boot up half of them! It gets even worse when you consider that all of these numbers continued to increase in 2017. Perhaps my goal for 2018 should be to stop impulse-buying video games. Also to unsubscribe from the Humble Bundle and Indie Gala newsletters.

(If you really wanna know, I’ve only bought one game in 2018 so far.)

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – December 2017

End of the line, 2017! It’s been a good’er, I’ll miss ya!

~ Game Over ~

Hollow Knight (PC) – If you’re looking for a Metroidvania that is expertly crafted and hard as balls, this is your game. I look forward to playing it again when it releases on Switch.

Mega Man X (SNES) – Couldn’t remember if I had already run it this year. Had to make sure.

Shovel Knight (3DS) – Sometimes you just need to close out the year by replaying a couple of your favourite games.

Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator (PC) – FNAF6 came out and I didn’t know it until three weeks later. Such is the downside of living in relative isolation. But hey, FNAF6! Hooray!

Chiptune Champion (PC) – A nerdy alternative to Guitar Hero. I may try to rip the music because it’s pretty good, but playing Guitar Hero on a keyboard just doesn’t have the same appeal.

~ Now Playing ~

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Switch) – It’s not quite as perfect for me as Xenoblade X was, but I’m still having a Goddamn ball. Read more thinks and thoks here.

Hammerwatch (Switch) – Yeah! Hammerwatch! I thoroughly enjoyed playing through this on PC, and I have been waiting for something similar to come to Switch. The real deal is even better!

Pokémon Ultra Sun (3DS) – Trying to play through it with poison-types only. I’ve never done a mono-type run before, and poison is probably one of the harder ones to start with.

Pokémon GO (iOS) – Might as well mention that I’ve been playing here and there to catch some of the new ‘mons. Gen 3 has a lot of my favourite guys, after all.

Skyrim (Switch) – I have barely touched it because Xenoblade 2 is eating all my video game time.

Yooka-Laylee (Switch) – I have barely touched it because Xenobalde 2 blah blah blah….

Volgarr the Viking (Switch) – I have barely touched it because… it’s super difficult and I can’t even get past level 2. But it’s really cool and I’ll deffo give it some more time in the future.

Super Mario RPG (SNES) – Long overdue for a replay. This run is more leisurely and taking advantage of infinitely-spawing monsters and emulator 30x speed abilities to level up quick.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm (PC) – For some reason, I just don’t care. The original game was excellent, but I cannot be bothered to give even half a shirt about Chloe.

Nine Parchments (Switch) – Just played the demo. Ramblings here.

Adventure Capitalist (PC) – I thought I’d kicked this habit, but then accidentally opened the game (damn Steam taskbar thing) and got sucked into another stupid event for a weekend.