Retro Gaming – Page 16

You can’t spell Escape without Ape

I completed Ape Escape 2 last weekend. Well, “completed.” I’m going for the platinum trophy, you see, and the game asks you to beat it twice for that. Which is a little ridiculous.

Let’s back up a bit, though. Ape Escape 2 asks you to tromp through its levels and used a variety of gadgets to find and capture all the monkeys that are running rampant. It’s kinda like Super Mario 64 if Super Mario 64’s stages were oversized loops and the power stars would run away and shoot homing missiles at you. So, much more aggravating than Super Mario 64.

Anyway, when you visit a stage, you only have to catch X of Y monkeys to clear it and move on. At which point you’re booted back out to the level select menu. So your (my) gut instinct is to jump back in and snatch up the remaining monkeys. Now, sometimes, certain monkeys are behind barriers that you can only pass once you get a particular gadget. So you collect all your toys and then go back to collect all the monkeys. Super.

What’s curious, though, is that the stages say “cleared” while the boss stages say “perfectly cleared.” Hmmm.

Then you get to the end of the game and defeat the final boss. Hooray! But if you load up your save file again, you’ll be told that OOPS guess he’s back on the loose and also there are now more monkeys in every stage! Hope you didn’t go back to collect them all already! If you did, hope you enjoy exploring each stage a third time!

Yes, I know, Super Mario 64 makes you play each course six times. But those stages are typically smaller, wide-open playgrounds, rather than big, long tubes. Each star usually has you going to different parts of the level, and most levels change depending on which star you select. Super Mario 64 encourages and rewards exploration, and it’s fun. Mario can get nearly everywhere with his basic moveset, and anywhere he can’t get to, there’s always a nearby cap to help. Whereas in Ape Escape, you’re just following your radar down the tube, being slowed down by having to constantly stop to switch out and use gadgets. Going through a level multiple times feels more like work than play.

But that’s still not the end. Once you capture all 299 (!!!) monkeys, you finally get to fight the true final boss. Defeat him, and you’ll earn the ability to start a new game as Spike (or “Kakeru”, because apparently the PS4 release is the European version), the protagonist from the first game, who comes equipped with all the gadgets right from the start. You have to collect all 300 monkeys again as Spike/Kakeru to earn Ape Escape 2’s final trophy. That doesn’t sound too bad!

Ape Escape 2’s last troll, however, is that every stage still has the “collect X of Y monkeys” thing on your second time around, which is suuuuuuuuuuuuper dumb. Even though you start the game with all the tools you need to catch all the monkeys, they still force you to slog through every stage twice. So lame. If that “feature” had been removed for new game+, I wouldn’t have even bothered to write this dumb rant.

So if it bothers me so much, why am I going through all the trouble? Because I’m a masochist and a trophy whore, obviously.

Oh, Ape Escape 2, I wish you were more fun. And also I wish you didn’t have trophies, so I could just not care about all of your bullcrap. This is the last updated PS2 game that I buy!

Can you do a “Year of Something” twice?

I ask because it’s looking like 2017 is going to be another Year of Nintendo 64.

In the last two weeks, I have purchased three N64 games on Wii U Virtual Console. Strange, right? I know.

For the record, the only one I bought at full price is F-Zero X. Pokémon Snap and Star Fox 64 I already owned on Wii, so it was just the little “add save states and controller configuration” upgrade fee for those two.

I’ve also been eyeing up Excitebike 64 for some time now, and it’s a bummer that Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey will never appear on VC because for some reason I am really jonesing for some wacky arcade hockey action.

Hm. This might… this might actually happen…

2016 Xmas Gift Roundup!

Oh my, has yet another year passed already? Well, I guess three years if you’re just going by the last time I wrote one of these things. Remember how it used to be an annual tradition? Did I write this exact same intro paragraph last time? Ehh, I’ve already recycled the idea and the banner, might as well re-use some of the text as well.

I think that, for the most part, I stopped doing these because I began to feel embarrassed about all of the stuff I get for Xmas. I mean, it’s not like it’s all that excessive (especially with my lack of wife), but it’s easy to look at these articles and think to myself “gee, I sure am spoiled, aren’t I?” Maybe next year will be the year I finally act on my desire to volunteer somewhere and help those less fortunate.

But probably not. That would also require leaving the house, and my incredible selfishness is a defining character trait.

Continue reading 2016 Xmas Gift Roundup!

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – November 2016

Hey. November. It’s cold outside now. All the more reason to stay inside all the time and play video games. Except when it’s not and I go outside to play Pokémon Go.

~ Game Over ~

Pokémon Sun (3DS) – FINALLY. I haven’t been so excited about a game since Smash 4. And you know I’m not kidding because I tore through that sucker in only a week. Also, have you seen Crabominable yet??

Heaven Island (PC) – A VR walking simulator MMO. Note that I do not own a VR device, so half the experience was lost on me. But I still wandered around until I’d picked up enough apples and seashells to claim all of the “achievements.”

You Deserve (PC) – I think I would have liked this horror adventure a little more if it had run a little bit smoother. It pushed my PC a little harder than it really needed to. Oh, and also it’s got jumpscares placed in seemingly random spots just for the sake of cheap jumpscares. I put up lots more words about it yesterday.

Wario Land 2 (GBC) – I was itching for a replay, so that’s what I did. Considered taking the secret route to complete the game in five levels, but opted to go for good ol’ 100% in the end. I like Wario Land 2 that much.

Paper Mario: Color Splash (WiiU) – Quite a divisive game, though personally, I think it’s incredible. It’s not really much like the N64 or GameCube Paper Marios, but at the same time, it kind of is? Also, it’s super pretty and maybe the funniest game I’ve ever played. If I have one complaint to lobby against it, it’s that they spelled “colour” wrong.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – November 2016

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – October 2016

Every October (and even in late September), I get so excited about Halloween, and intend to play a bunch of spooky games to celebrate. And that… doesn’t usually pan out. Was 2016 any different? Read on to find out!

~ Game Over ~

FNAF: Sister Location (PC) – If you don’t count the RPG spinoff, this is the first FNAF game I’ve really gotten into. And it’s spectacular. While it is not quite as terrifying as its older brothers, Sister Location is still Spooky As Heck.

Year Walk (WiiU) – I’ve been itching to replay this for months, telling myself “wait for Halloween” and finally the time came! It’s a really great adventure with clever puzzles and a neat twist halfway through. Turns out that you can clear it in well under an hour, but still, it’s Pretty Darn Spooky.

Pokémon Pearl (DS) – While I have a team that’s half spooky-looking Pokémon (Misdreavus, Crobat, and Luxray), and the bad guys want to basically destroy the universe, Pokémon is simply Not Spooky.

Metroid Prime: Federation Force (3DS) – A regular Metroid game could definitely be considered spooky, but with Federation Force’s focus on action and teamwork, it falls just short of the bar. Not Spooky, but a very solid game otherwise.

Picross 3D Round 2 (3DS) – Decidedly Not Spooky. In fact, it may be the least spooky game on the list, with its relaxing atmosphere and lack of any sort of conflict.

Final Fantasy VIII (PC) – There are a number of creepy monsters and witches in this game, but overall, I’d have to say that it’s Not Spooky. The hammy characters and colourful graphics just don’t lend themselves well to creating a frightful atmosphere.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – October 2016

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – September 2016

Birthday month! Also, month of all the games. My 3DS was already in constant use since July thanks to Monster Hunter, but now it’s just flooded with huge, awesome games that tickle all of my fancies.

~ Game Over ~

KickBeat (PS3) – A game about punching endless waves of goons to the rhythm of angry nu-rock. Surprisingly, I really liked it!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (GBA) – I’m going through a TMNT thing right now, okay? Replayed this for the first time since like 2004, and I am convinced that the Shredder fight is literally impossible without cheating.

Jotun: Valhalla Edition (WiiU) – Wherein you play as a Viking warrior who must earn her place in Valhalla after suffering an inglorious death. This is done by finding and slaying a number of elemental giants. It’s a really great game!

NEO-NOW! (PC) – A pretty boring Early Access game. Maybe it’ll get better in time? I don’t really care and am just calling it a wash. To the “Done Forever” pile with you!

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – September 2016

Retrospective: Limbo

I don’t really remember the circumstances surrounding the release of Limbo. I want to say that it was there leading the charge of the indie game movement, but maybe not? Seems like it came around a couple years too late for that. In any case, it must have been a fairly big Xbox Live Arcade release, as I was super jazzed for it, and I’ve never followed XBLA games too closely.

At the time, I was in full-fledged Achievement Whore mode. Limbo, I think, was one of the first games to truly break me. I think that I may have collected three or four achievements on my first playthrough, and just couldn’t go back for more. Even with an achievement guide, I would have only been equipped to earn all the “collectible” achievements. The one challenge that seemed insurmountable was the achievement to clear the game in a single sitting with fewer than five deaths.

Even today, I can’t imagine playing Limbo enough to get that sucker. The game is evil. It goes out of its way to trick you and is filled with “gotcha” moments. It wants you to die. To show your little boy character being mutilated in unspeakable ways. That’s how you’re supposed to learn and progress in this game. You’re not supposed to get by on observation or skill. You’re supposed to be killed and then not do the thing that killed you. Even if you do play through the game several times and remember how to survive every trap, there are a number of challenges that require perfect timing. And quite frankly, under the pressure of needing not to die, I know that I would drop the ball immediately.

Continue reading Retrospective: Limbo

A cute little babby!

So Nintendo announced this thing out of nowhere this morning:

It’s a little baby NES! With 30 games installed on it! You know damn well that I’m now lusting over this thing more than anything else in the world. 30 games for $60! Okay, it’s going to be more like $75-80 Canadian, but that’s still a way better deal than Virtual Console! And I only have like 8 of the included games, so it’s basically a completely justified purchase.

It’s got Mega Man 2! And Final Fantasy! And Kirby’s Adventure! and Bubble Bobble!

And it’s so darned cute! That’s the best part!

(Seriously I am unrealistically excited about this little novelty box.)

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – June 2016

My free time from mid-April to mid-June was reduced very drastically by both school and my renewed efforts to get into slightly better physical shape, and now, now I am free from the clutches of higher learning (for a while) so that I can go back to wasting that portion of my spare time on mind-dulling television games.

😀 😀 😀

~ Game Over ~

Hyrule Warriors Legends (3DS) – Played through the story mode again for… collection purposes. Yeah, I’ll probably be playing this one forever.

The Legend of Zelda (NES) – All that Hyrule Warriorsing often makes me want to play real Zelda, and sometimes I do. Like this time, when I played the first one!

Kirby: Planet Robobot (3DS) – It’s almost exactly like Triple Deluxe, but the Robobot Armor is a much more fun gimmick than Hypernova. Also, the sub-games are somehow even better. You can expect that I’ll be writing a big ol’ thing about them soon. As another note, the final boss is friggin’ AMAZING. Fanservicey as all heck, and I loved it.

Kirby: Planet Robobot (3DS) – I also played through the entire Meta Knightmare Returns mode, which is playing through the game again as Meta Knight, but it’s all lined up as one super-long level, and all the bosses are powered up and there is a super-sweet trio of legacy bosses at the end.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World: The Game (360) – I got really frustrated with Ornstein and Smough in my Dark Souls replay, so I flipped over to something a little more friendly. In fact, this game is very easy to burn through when you have a maxed-out character. Still fun, and the music is phenomenal.

Cibele (PC) – A narrative game about a girl who meets a guy online, falls in love, and then meets up with him to bone. Guess how it ends.

Her Story (PC) – A narrative game where you’re sorting through hundreds of little interview clips to piece together the story of a murder. Only I didn’t realize that the game wasn’t functioning properly for me, so I only got audio clips when there were supposed to be accompanying videos! The game still worked, and I loved it. Recommended to everyone.

Mighty No. 9 (WiiU) – What was supposed to be the glorious (off-brand) return of Mega Man instead turned out to be half-baked and disappointing to most. I don’t hate it, but it’s generally underwhelming and the final boss is just so difficult.

~ Now Playing ~

Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii) – Speaking of wanting to replay Zeldas… I hadn’t revisited Skyward Sword since I beat it the first time, and man, I am really digging it. I’ve been writing about it weekly, so… you know. Read those entries.

Monster Hunter Explore (iOS) – Most of my playtime was during the bus rides home from school. Now that I’m out of school until ????, I probably won’t play it until then.

Fallout 4 (PS4) – Started up a new game on my shiny new Playstation 4. I suppose that above all else, this spells the end for my stalled game of New Vegas. Also, no other game makes me wish there were more hours in the day. So that I could squander them on pointless video games, you see.

Pokémon Pearl Version (DS) – This was a very spur-of-the-moment replay decision. I really can’t even remember why I decided to go back to it. What I do know is that even after I’d confirmed that all the important Pokémon had been safely transferred away, it still killed me to overwrite my old save. This is why I very rarely replay Pokémon games.

Final Fantasy VII (PC) – One thing I always forget about FF7 is that enemy attack animations can be really long, and as a result, really drag out the battles. I would like a separate timer just to see how much of the game time has been spent watching monsters do elaborate attacks. Or a switch to just turn them off like Pokémon has.

Zelda: Twilight Princess HD (WiiU) – Yep. Still poking around in this one. I beat it, but I wanted to go back to find all the stamps and poes (which I still haven’t accomplished). I’ve played the game like five times before, and never explored the world nearly as thoroughly as I have this time around.

Dark Souls (360) – I get about an hour in each Saturday afternoon, and have managed to make my way back to Anor Londo. Yaaaay. As stated above, NG+ Ornstein and Smough are an absolute nightmare. I did manage to get past them, though, so it should be easy street from here on out, right?

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – May 2016

I’ve been trying real hard to focus on one game per system at a time over the last few months, but I’m failing at every turn. It seems like I’m constantly getting distracted by something else, be it new or half-complete. Anyway, May was a huge step in the right direction, with a greater number of finished games than “in progress” games for this first time since… maybe it’s just the first time ever? Of course, I had to throw some (admittedly hefty) demos in there to make the grade, so maybe it’s moot.

~ Game Over ~

Zelda: Twilight Princess HD (WiiU) – It feels wrong to say it for some reason, but I think Twilight Princess is one of my favourite Zeldas. I think the only thing that I truly dislike about it is the stupid canoe minigame. The forced-wolf sections in the first half of the game do feel a bit like unnecessary padding, but even those don’t really bother me all that much. I even like the “acres and acres of nothing” Hyrule Field.

Bravely Default (3DS) – I decided, now that the sequel is out, that I’ve been putting this off for too long. So I beat it. Then I wrote too many words about it. What I didn’t write there is that the final boss seemed rally cheap and annoying on my first try, but then once I knew his tricks, I stomped him into the ground with very little trouble.

Bravely Second: The Ballad of the Three Cavaliers (3DS) – Officially, it’s just the demo for Bravely Second, but it’s got a unique scenario and took me about seven hours to beat. I thought that I was burned out on Bravely, but this demo really hooked me and I just may splurge on Second in the near future.

The Park (PC) – I bought this immediately after someone suggested to me that it was a Five Night’s at Freddy’s clone. That is not the case at all. It’s a still a spooky game, but it is a walking simulator instead of a security guard simulator and there are zero killer animatronics. I was still pleased, because the story was pretty good. Unfortunately, my PC could just barely run it, so the choppiness kind of ruined the mood.

Resident Evil Revelations 2 – Episode 3 (PC) – Surprisingly, this game has one of the least terrible sewer levels ever. Well, design-wise. Technically, the water was too fancy, which made the computer so unhappy and slowed everything down to a crawl, and made the game very difficult to play. Otherwise, it had a cool factory explosion and a great boss fight.

Resident Evil Revelations 2 – Episode 4 (PC) – A surprisingly brief chapter for Claire and Moira, then the longest chapter in the game for Barry and Natalia. It was really great, though, and had a pretty decent final boss. I can tell you right now that I will be replaying this one many times.

Pocket Card Jockey Demo (3DS) – A game about horse racing, in which you race horses by playing a variation of solitaire that I am not familiar with. It’s a lot of fun, but truth be told, I don’t think I’m going to buy it. It’s deceptively deep, and that’s not really what I’m looking for.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade (360) – Decided to play it a bit because I have been jonesing for some old-school TMNT action for months now. I didn’t actually finish it, but I was at the second-last stage and I would have finished it if I’d had more time. But I did get the fix that I needed. Close enough.

~ Now Playing ~

Monster Hunter Explore (iOS) – Do you remember Monster Hunter: Dynamic Hunting? I thought it was a passable way to get a MonHun fix in a pinch, but Explore is so much better. Its plays much more like normal Monster Hunter, just pared down for the mobile audience. It’s still not completely fulfilling, but it’s certainly a good deal of fun.

Hyrule Warriors Legends (3DS) -I took a long break from this to finish off Bravely Default and the Bravely Second demo, and now I’m neck deep in Zelda Musou again. I’ve finally finished the Great Sea adventure map to 100% completion, at least.

Final Fantasy VII (PC) – Yep, this happened. For whatever reason, this time around I feel like I’m seeing a lot of things that remind me of Super Mario RPG. Also whenever anything silly or funny happens I think about how joyless the remake will be and it makes me sad.

Mini Mario & Friends: Amiibo Challenge (WiiU) – I wrote enough words about this already.

Lost Reavers (WiiU) – A free, online loot-’em-up of sorts. It’s not especially good, but I’ve put in several hours because… well, I’m not sure why I kept it up. I guess it’s fairly fun, despite feeling like a C-tier game from a couple generations ago. Probably because it’s a multiplayer game that is 100% cooperative. That’s a big draw for me.

Dark Souls (360) – Yeah I’m playing this again. New Game+ is, well, hard. Which is the opposite of what I normally expect from NG+. Oh, Dark Souls. Played up to the point of defeating Quelaag, not sure how far I’m ultimately going to take this run.