Wherein I showed some effort

Guess what! I went and slapped a few more of those old non-WordPress articles into WordPress! Now there are more things here to read! Hooray! Exclamation points!

GameCube Demo Disc – Honestly, I wish there were more of these. I’m very much at the point in my life where hidden gems of that era interest me greatly.

Birthday Article 2003 – The first of… several. Certainly could be classified as a relic of another era, as I will never again get enough things for my birthday to write an article about.

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! – Read this and get excited for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on Switch! Or at least, wish that Nintendo would bring back the two-person karts. I liked that gimmick a lot.

Holiday Viva Puffs – I had actually moved this one over back in December, but forgot to make a big stick about it. Whoops!

With these up, all articles from 2003 and 2006 onward are available on the WordPress site. Of course, they all still exist in their gaudy web 1.0 glory on the archive site. So feel free to check that out if you’re tired of the unified white-and-blue theme. Some of them have ugly background jpgs!

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – January 2017

Holy crow, 2017 is already flying by. It seems like it was just New Year’s Day, and already we’re in February. It’s gonna be Switch Day before we know it!

And that’s about the extent of my small talk abilities. That’s why I spend so much time playing video games alone instead of socializing with humans.

~ Game Over ~

Layers of Fear (PS4) – Appropriate that the first game I beat in 2017 is yet another spook-em-up walking simulator. I think I may have found my sub-genre. In an effort to try to toughen up a bit, I started playing with the lights off and headphones on. That lasted for half the game, at which point I simply could not take it any more. Anyway, I really liked it, and played through twice to get all the trophies.

Layers of Fear: Inheritance (PS4) – A DLC half-sequel for the game listed above. It was good, but much less frightening and also I needed to play through it three times for all the trophies. Though that’s really not such a big problem when the game can easily be run in under an hour.

Resident Evil 7 (PS4) – I was so excited for this scaled-down take on RE, and then about two hours in, I realized “oh, this is just a backwoods version of Alien: Isolation.” But then it quickly got much better and I got completely sucked in. Loved it. Can’t wait to play it again.

Day of the Tentacle Remastered (PS4) – There couldn’t have been a better time to accidentally subscribe to PS+. This was one of the free games for January, and though I own the original game, I haven’t played it in, oh, 20 years? It was wonderful to relive, and looked gorgeous on my giant HDTV. Absolutely perfect bit of nostalgia.

Shovel Knight (3DS) – I played Shovel Knight again. Surprise, surprise. But I did play New Game+ this time, which is v difficult.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – January 2017

The Top 12 Video Games of 2016

“Why” you ask, “did you choose to list twelve games?”

The answer is simple. Because sixteen (for 2016) seemed too many, and ten is too cliché.

“But doing a Top X Things of Year list is in itself too cliché!”

Shut up!

(You should know my Top Video Games rules by now: Any game that I beat in 2016 is fair game, regardless of what year it was actually released in. No remakes or remasters allowed.)

Continue reading The Top 12 Video Games of 2016

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – December 2016

in b4 2017 gets sucky

All jokes aside, good lord did I play a lot of different video games in December. Where in the heck did I find all that extra time?

~ Game Over ~

Pokkén Tournament (WiiU) – I forgot about this game so quickly after it came out, but I really do enjoy it. I just wish I had the dedication to get better at it. I finally finished the single-player “story”, at least. Also, why the heck haven’t all the new Pokémon from the arcade version been made as DLC? I want to play as Scizor!

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The Cat Lady (PC) – A traditional adventure game that’s kind of ugly, but has a very interesting and thoughtful story. But you know all about it already because you read the post I wrote about it, yeah?

Adventure Time: Finn & Jake Investigations (WiiU) – I started playing this what seemed like months ago, then it fell off my radar because ?????. Picked it up again and solved the remaining cases. It’s a pretty good throwback to adventure games of yore! And almost the exact opposite of The Cat Lady in terms of tone. But it’s not so good that I’m going to buy the DLC chapter.

Shantae: 1/2-Genie Hero (WiiU) – The third Kickstarter game that I’ve backed to be released. It falls somewhere on the quality scale between the immaculate Shovel Knight and the troubled Mighty No 9. Mostly very good with beautiful graphics, but has a surprisingly bad final chapter and a horrific recurring audio glitch. Pirate’s Curse is still the best Shantae.

Picross e7 (3DS) – I knew this one came out in Japan a while ago, but its North American release totally blindsided me. With joy. Thanks for the early Xmas gift, Jupiter! I didn’t clear all the mega puzzles, but they’re all the same as the standard puzzles, so I’m considering it beaten.

Lifeless Planet (PS4) – A game about being an astronaut, bouncing around on an unexplored planet with a mysterious history. At least that’s what it is for the first hour. After that, stuff starts happening, and honestly I think I was happier just exploring the simple landscapes of the early game. The story is quite good, though!

The Way of Life (Free Edition) (PC) – A walking simulator wherein you play different “events” through the eyes of a child, man, and geezer. The three scenarios provided are boring and preachy and I can’t say I’d ever consider paying for the “Definitive Edition.”

The First Skunk Bundle (WiiU) – I played Haunted Hotel a couple months ago, and recently went back to try out the other games. They’re “better” if you’re measuring by playability, but have absolutely nothing on Haunted Hotel as far as being completely bonkers. Still, they’re all mostly garbage. Catchy is okay, I guess.

~ Now Playing ~

Dragon Quest Builders (PS4) – The hours just melt away when I boot this baby up. It’s like the heyday of Minecraft, but with good graphics and music (though a little less freedom). Currently on Chapter 3.

Super Mario Run (iOS) – Well this is weird. But also really good. But also, the Toad Rush mode has showed me that despite all my years of training, I suck at Mario. Whoops!

Ape Escape 2 (PS2) – I’ve played the first and third Ape Escape games to completion, and only when I played Ape Escape 2 did the realization dawn on me that Ape Escape feels a lot like Gex, except not as terrible. Ape Escape 2 has some camera issues, but otherwise it’s decent enough.

Dino Eggs: Rebirth (PC) – One of those bundle situations where I bought a bunch of games because one looked cool and I didn’t give a flip about the others. This is one of the “I don’t give a flip” titles. It’s actually a fun, breezy puzzlatformer. I hear that it’s an expanded remake of an old Apple II game that I don’t remember ever playing, but very well could have. Apple II was a long, long time ago.

Bit Dungeon+ (WiiU) – A pixel-graphics, dungeon-crawling, roguelike game that I picked up on sale after Xmas. It’s not quite what I was hoping for, and it’s a little broken/inscrutable, but I like it! My brother decidedly does not, so it looks like I’m flyin’ solo on this one.

Pokémon Picross (3DS) – Somehow, the memory wires in my brain got crossed in a way that Christmastime now makes me think of Pokémon Picross. So I played it a bunch. Still not enough to complete all the Alt-World stages that I had left undone, though.

Life is Strange (PS4) – It’s been over a year since the last chapter came out, which meant time for a replay! There are fewer shocking “I get this foreshadowing now!” moments than I had expected. At least in chapter one. Just one massive one right at the very end.

Pokémon Sun (3DS) – Sure, I beat it last month, but there’s more to it than just getting the credits to roll. There’s a bit of post-game content, and of course I’ve got to… catch them all.

Bit Boy Arcade (3DS) – For reasons I won’t get into, I booted this up somewhat randomly. Played a bunch of stages, and it seemed kind of crappy at first, but I quickly found myself getting into it as I learned how the game works. I might just see it through to the end.

Stardew Valley (PC) – I might as well have started using cocaine. There’s a very good reason that I stopped playing Harvest Moon games.

Rollercoaster Tycoon (PC) – I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the kind of game you beat over the span of years, or never at all. Because at least in the early game, all the scenarios end up feeling the exact same. It’s like, spend a year building up a great park, and then let the game sit for a couple hours to run down the clock until you win.

Bioshock Remastered (PC) – Made a tiny bit of progress, but have now been stymied multiple times by the game locking up when I attempt to open the map.

2016 Xmas Gift Roundup!

Oh my, has yet another year passed already? Well, I guess three years if you’re just going by the last time I wrote one of these things. Remember how it used to be an annual tradition? Did I write this exact same intro paragraph last time? Ehh, I’ve already recycled the idea and the banner, might as well re-use some of the text as well.

I think that, for the most part, I stopped doing these because I began to feel embarrassed about all of the stuff I get for Xmas. I mean, it’s not like it’s all that excessive (especially with my lack of wife), but it’s easy to look at these articles and think to myself “gee, I sure am spoiled, aren’t I?” Maybe next year will be the year I finally act on my desire to volunteer somewhere and help those less fortunate.

But probably not. That would also require leaving the house, and my incredible selfishness is a defining character trait.

Continue reading 2016 Xmas Gift Roundup!

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – November 2016

Hey. November. It’s cold outside now. All the more reason to stay inside all the time and play video games. Except when it’s not and I go outside to play Pokémon Go.

~ Game Over ~

Pokémon Sun (3DS) – FINALLY. I haven’t been so excited about a game since Smash 4. And you know I’m not kidding because I tore through that sucker in only a week. Also, have you seen Crabominable yet??

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Heaven Island (PC) – A VR walking simulator MMO. Note that I do not own a VR device, so half the experience was lost on me. But I still wandered around until I’d picked up enough apples and seashells to claim all of the “achievements.”

You Deserve (PC) – I think I would have liked this horror adventure a little more if it had run a little bit smoother. It pushed my PC a little harder than it really needed to. Oh, and also it’s got jumpscares placed in seemingly random spots just for the sake of cheap jumpscares. I put up lots more words about it yesterday.

Wario Land 2 (GBC) – I was itching for a replay, so that’s what I did. Considered taking the secret route to complete the game in five levels, but opted to go for good ol’ 100% in the end. I like Wario Land 2 that much.

Paper Mario: Color Splash (WiiU) – Quite a divisive game, though personally, I think it’s incredible. It’s not really much like the N64 or GameCube Paper Marios, but at the same time, it kind of is? Also, it’s super pretty and maybe the funniest game I’ve ever played. If I have one complaint to lobby against it, it’s that they spelled “colour” wrong.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – November 2016

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – October 2016

Every October (and even in late September), I get so excited about Halloween, and intend to play a bunch of spooky games to celebrate. And that… doesn’t usually pan out. Was 2016 any different? Read on to find out!

~ Game Over ~

FNAF: Sister Location (PC) – If you don’t count the RPG spinoff, this is the first FNAF game I’ve really gotten into. And it’s spectacular. While it is not quite as terrifying as its older brothers, Sister Location is still Spooky As Heck.

Year Walk (WiiU) – I’ve been itching to replay this for months, telling myself “wait for Halloween” and finally the time came! It’s a really great adventure with clever puzzles and a neat twist halfway through. Turns out that you can clear it in well under an hour, but still, it’s Pretty Darn Spooky.

Pokémon Pearl (DS) – While I have a team that’s half spooky-looking Pokémon (Misdreavus, Crobat, and Luxray), and the bad guys want to basically destroy the universe, Pokémon is simply Not Spooky.

Metroid Prime: Federation Force (3DS) – A regular Metroid game could definitely be considered spooky, but with Federation Force’s focus on action and teamwork, it falls just short of the bar. Not Spooky, but a very solid game otherwise.

Picross 3D Round 2 (3DS) – Decidedly Not Spooky. In fact, it may be the least spooky game on the list, with its relaxing atmosphere and lack of any sort of conflict.

Final Fantasy VIII (PC) – There are a number of creepy monsters and witches in this game, but overall, I’d have to say that it’s Not Spooky. The hammy characters and colourful graphics just don’t lend themselves well to creating a frightful atmosphere.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – October 2016

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – May 2016

I’ve been trying real hard to focus on one game per system at a time over the last few months, but I’m failing at every turn. It seems like I’m constantly getting distracted by something else, be it new or half-complete. Anyway, May was a huge step in the right direction, with a greater number of finished games than “in progress” games for this first time since… maybe it’s just the first time ever? Of course, I had to throw some (admittedly hefty) demos in there to make the grade, so maybe it’s moot.

~ Game Over ~

Zelda: Twilight Princess HD (WiiU) – It feels wrong to say it for some reason, but I think Twilight Princess is one of my favourite Zeldas. I think the only thing that I truly dislike about it is the stupid canoe minigame. The forced-wolf sections in the first half of the game do feel a bit like unnecessary padding, but even those don’t really bother me all that much. I even like the “acres and acres of nothing” Hyrule Field.

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Bravely Default (3DS) – I decided, now that the sequel is out, that I’ve been putting this off for too long. So I beat it. Then I wrote too many words about it. What I didn’t write there is that the final boss seemed rally cheap and annoying on my first try, but then once I knew his tricks, I stomped him into the ground with very little trouble.

Bravely Second: The Ballad of the Three Cavaliers (3DS) – Officially, it’s just the demo for Bravely Second, but it’s got a unique scenario and took me about seven hours to beat. I thought that I was burned out on Bravely, but this demo really hooked me and I just may splurge on Second in the near future.

The Park (PC) – I bought this immediately after someone suggested to me that it was a Five Night’s at Freddy’s clone. That is not the case at all. It’s a still a spooky game, but it is a walking simulator instead of a security guard simulator and there are zero killer animatronics. I was still pleased, because the story was pretty good. Unfortunately, my PC could just barely run it, so the choppiness kind of ruined the mood.

Resident Evil Revelations 2 – Episode 3 (PC) – Surprisingly, this game has one of the least terrible sewer levels ever. Well, design-wise. Technically, the water was too fancy, which made the computer so unhappy and slowed everything down to a crawl, and made the game very difficult to play. Otherwise, it had a cool factory explosion and a great boss fight.

Resident Evil Revelations 2 – Episode 4 (PC) – A surprisingly brief chapter for Claire and Moira, then the longest chapter in the game for Barry and Natalia. It was really great, though, and had a pretty decent final boss. I can tell you right now that I will be replaying this one many times.

Pocket Card Jockey Demo (3DS) – A game about horse racing, in which you race horses by playing a variation of solitaire that I am not familiar with. It’s a lot of fun, but truth be told, I don’t think I’m going to buy it. It’s deceptively deep, and that’s not really what I’m looking for.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade (360) – Decided to play it a bit because I have been jonesing for some old-school TMNT action for months now. I didn’t actually finish it, but I was at the second-last stage and I would have finished it if I’d had more time. But I did get the fix that I needed. Close enough.

~ Now Playing ~

Monster Hunter Explore (iOS) – Do you remember Monster Hunter: Dynamic Hunting? I thought it was a passable way to get a MonHun fix in a pinch, but Explore is so much better. Its plays much more like normal Monster Hunter, just pared down for the mobile audience. It’s still not completely fulfilling, but it’s certainly a good deal of fun.

Hyrule Warriors Legends (3DS) -I took a long break from this to finish off Bravely Default and the Bravely Second demo, and now I’m neck deep in Zelda Musou again. I’ve finally finished the Great Sea adventure map to 100% completion, at least.

Final Fantasy VII (PC) – Yep, this happened. For whatever reason, this time around I feel like I’m seeing a lot of things that remind me of Super Mario RPG. Also whenever anything silly or funny happens I think about how joyless the remake will be and it makes me sad.

Mini Mario & Friends: Amiibo Challenge (WiiU) – I wrote enough words about this already.

Lost Reavers (WiiU) – A free, online loot-’em-up of sorts. It’s not especially good, but I’ve put in several hours because… well, I’m not sure why I kept it up. I guess it’s fairly fun, despite feeling like a C-tier game from a couple generations ago. Probably because it’s a multiplayer game that is 100% cooperative. That’s a big draw for me.

Dark Souls (360) – Yeah I’m playing this again. New Game+ is, well, hard. Which is the opposite of what I normally expect from NG+. Oh, Dark Souls. Played up to the point of defeating Quelaag, not sure how far I’m ultimately going to take this run.