A great surprise to everyone -mostly myself,- I’m back with another couple of vaguely seasonally-appropriate movies to talk about! And when I say “vaguely” I really mean it. I really ought to just throw on a Friday the 13th at some point just to get a little of the Halloween spirit going in my place.
The Endless
While Tubi lists The Endless as Sci-Fi/Horror/Mystery/Thriller, I would at least re-order those so that they go Mystery/Sci-Fi/Thriller/Horror, which is the most appropriate order. At most, I’d probably just pluck Horror out of there altogether. Yes, there is a certain cosmic horror element to the movie, but it’s really not the focus in any capacity.
This film follows two brothers, Justin and Aaron, who are living a bit of a rough life ten years after having escaped from a “UFO death cult.” Justin, the elder brother, feels like it’s his responsibility to take care of the both of them (despite them being at least in their mid-twenties), while Aaron longs to return to the cushy life that the cult had provided them. When he receives a random cassette tape from the cult announcing that they’re about to “ascend”, it spurs them to make a return visit to say their goodbyes, and maybe to show Aaron that it’s not as wonderful as he remembers it being.
Once they arrive, things do seem fairly peaceful, and the cult welcomes the brothers back with open arms, despite Justin having told many nasty tales to the media about what goes on there. The cult members all have their own eccentricities, but they’re happy, living simple lives where they’re free to pursue their passions and ignore the troubles of the modern world. Aaron is immediately enamored, but Justin remains skeptical, feeling that things are just a little too peaceful, and that there’s something rather important that the cult is keeping from them.
Throughout their stay, a number of strange, inexplicable things happen, and Justin gets more and more anxious about leaving, while Aaron’s resolve to stay grows stronger. This ultimately ends with a clash, and Justin is asked to leave, which he gladly does. But his vehicle fails to start, and as he attempts to return for assistance, he loses his bearing in the woods and ends up at the shack of a local hermit who lives not far from the cult’s camp. It’s here that we start to learn of what’s truly going on. Justin then begins a new quest to find his brother and get them both the heck outta dodge.
It might not be obvious from my short summary, but this movie isn’t really about a cult or strange phenomena, it’s about two brothers figuring out how to get along. Justin and Aaron start the movie at odds, and the cult setting only serves to pull them farther apart. It’s not treading any new ground, but ultimately it’s the story of the overprotective older brother learning that he needs to take a step back and let his little brother lead his own life. It doesn’t truly click until the very final moments, but watching the pieces slowly fall into place for him to finally have that revelation at the end makes it very satisfying. At least I thought it was.
Again, there’s not really a big focus on outright horror in The Endless. There’s exactly one jumpscare and a couple of scenes that one might find mildly distressing, but overall the horror of it is all conceptual. I don’t really what to get into what that concept truly is, because it’ll spoil the big reveal, but it’s something that’d make you think. And then if you think about it too much, it might start to keep you up at night. Existential kind of stuff. Which is good! Sometimes it’s nice for the horror aspect to be more subtle.
Overall, I really liked The Endless. It was a good watch; kept me entertained, had me guessing at what was going to happen, and made me think. I’d recommend this one without question. It did kind of drag a little bit, and though it clocks in at just under two hours, it definitely felt a bit longer than that. I don’t know what I’d cut to speed up the pace -every scene had a purpose, as far as I can remember- but maybe the first act could have been tightened up a little bit? And really, that’s very light criticism, as far as I’m concerned. Go watch it! It’s free on Tubi!
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
I re-watched the original Silent Hill movie a few years ago, and while I would still stand up for it as one of the better video-game-to-movie adaptations (a low bar if there ever was one), I definitely didn’t like it as much as I remembered. I think I probably wrote something about it at the time, but I can’t be bothered to look it up. Something about being really annoyed that the movie stops completely to shoehorn in a 10-minute exposition sequence?
The thing that you need to know about the sequel, Silent Hill: Revelation 3D, is that I had only ever watched it once. When it was originally released in theatres. I don’t even own the DVD. This is in stark contrast to the first film, which I do own on DVD, and I’ve watched at least half a dozen times. The stage is now set.
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D is ass. Plain and simple. It is poop from a butt. A very bad movie.
All the while, I was thinking “man, am I ever bored” and “I wish this movie was over” and also “zzzzz” for the couple minutes where I started to nod off. The primary problem here is that the acting is just atrocious. I don’t think any of the actors, except for maybe Malcom McDowell, gave a single flying fig about their roles or this movie. Sean Bean and Carrie-Anne Moss were absolutely just in it for the paycheque. I’ve never seen anything else that Adelaide Clemens has starred in, but from this role alone I would assume that she could not act her way out of a paper bag. Girl, could you please try to sell one single line? Just one!
It doesn’t help that the dialogue could have been written by a toddler. So many of the lines are just the most basic observations that really don’t even need to be said. There are a couple of jokes and fourth-wall jabs (presumably aimed at critics of the first movie), but they fall completely flat. I think I actually made it worse by having subtitles on, as having to both hear and read each line really drove home how awful the writing truly is.
Also, the special effects were all over the place. Some were halfway decent, and some looked like absolute garbage. It’s a 2012 movie, so you can chalk it up to age, I guess. Maybe it all looked really spectacular thirteen years ago, I don’t remember. There were also a couple of sequences that featured a certain monster, and the way she moves was not at all convincing. She was too slow, and it didn’t feel like her actions had any impact. Like it was just a woman in front of a green screen pretending to wail on something that didn’t exist. I would give this a pass from an independently-made movie, but this is a $20 million movie. While that’s not a big budget even by 2012 standards, it should have been enough to do better than this.
I think what you really want to know, though, is how well Silent Hill is represented. Well, it’s significantly better than Silent Hill f, if that means anything to you.
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D is an adaptation of Silent Hill 3, specifically. But it’s also a sequel to the first Silent Hill movie, which already kinda butchered the lore. It’s a movie adaptation, I know, and that means some elements are going to have to be massaged a bit to fit the new format. And I’m fine with a lot of it, honestly! For one, the movie (mostly) takes place in Silent Hill, which is a good start. There’s a weird cult that controls the town, it’s built on an ancient native burial ground, Robbie the Rabbit is all over the place. A lot of the key elements are present. Vincent’s character is changed very dramatically, but all of the other main characters are surprisingly faithful to the game, at least in a very general sense.
And honestly, I do appreciate that it does feel like they tried to backpedal a bit on some of the lore changes from the first movie to make this one more true to the source material. Not a lot, mind you, but I have to give credit where credit is due.
The one big thing that I can’t condone is that just like in the first movie, Red Pyramid Thing is present. Pyramid Head, as you more likely know it, is a monster that is very specifically related to James Sunderland, the main character of the Silent Hill 2 video game. The two are inseparably connected because Pyramid Head is a direct representation of James (spoiler). It makes absolutely no goddamned sense for it to be in this movie, or the first movie, or any Silent Hill-related thing that doesn’t feature James as well. Everything else I can handwave away, but not this. Ugh. I hate being that guy, but the monster exists to fill a very specific and story-relevant role. In the movies, it’s just there because it looks cool. Barf.
At this point, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I wouldn’t recommend Silent Hill: Revelation 3D at all, to anyone. It’s certainly an attempt to adapt Silent Hill 3 for a different audience, but due to the Reddit-tier dialogue and terrible acting, I don’t think that even a Filmgoer Andy would get much out of it. At the very, very least, it’s only an hour and a half long. I can’t imagine how painful it would have been if it had a 2-hour runtime. Probably as painful as playing Silent Hill f.