Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: February 2022

~ Game Over ~

Vampire Survivors (PC) – This game is still in Steam Early Access, so it’s likely not really over, but I’ve won a few rounds and unlocked everything, so… yeah. You can read more of my words about it here.

Pokémon Legends: Arceus (Switch) – A complete revamp like this is exactly what the kinda-sorta stale Pokémon franchise needed. It’s a little rough around the edges, but it’s still so much fun and I hope that Game Freak makes another one in this style, but with just a little more polish. I was going to write a full review, but then wrote about potatoes instead.

Horror Adventure (PS4) – So bad that my PS5 refused to run it. Quite possibly the worst $2 I’ve spent on an indie horror game, and I feel like that’s saying a lot! The gravest sin it commits is having terrible controls: your character doesn’t always move in the direction you press the stick, and the turning speed is atrociously slow and cannot be changed. At least it only took 20 minutes to play through.

Banjo-Kazooie (N64) – I haven’t played this game since it was released on Xbox 360 back in 2008, and it was nice to re-visit. For the most part, it holds up pretty well, but some camera improvements would be appreciated.

The Sinking City (PS4) – Many words coming soon.

Donkey Kong Land 2 (GB) – Perusing my 3DS library after the notice that the 3DS eShop is going to be shut down, I decided to finally play this. It’s the only Donkey Kong game by Rare that I’ve never played before. It sticks a lot closer to DKC2 than Donkey Kong Land did to the original DKC.

~ Progress Notes ~

Cyberpunk 2077 (PC) – Side-jobbin’.

Potatoes… but not as you know them

There are a lot of things to say about the newest game in the Pokémon series, Pokémon Legends: Arceus. Alas, those things will likely have to be said by others, because I only want to talk about one very tiny aspect of the game today.

In this game, there is a character named Beni. He runs the Jubilife Village’s restaurant, and apparently makes a mean potato mochi. His potato mochi is so mean, in fact, that every time you complete a task in the story, your character and their friends go to the restaurant to celebrate and stuff themselves with it.

Being an uncultured North American hermit, I was completely unfamiliar with the concept of mochi before I started playing this game. I’d heard the word before, and I knew it was something you eat, but I didn’t really know what it was. I didn’t have a clue if it was traditionally made with potato, or if the potato variety was special. It was all a big mystery to me.

The image above is what sweet potato mochi is supposed to look like.

The image below is how my sweet potato mochi ended up looking.

Continue reading Potatoes… but not as you know them

Nintendo 3DS by the Hours

Following yesterday’s remembrances of the Nintendo 3DS, I decided to open up the records app and take a good, long look at all of the games I played on the system throughout its lifetime. I definitely could transcribe the entire list of 254 games, but I settled on just listing any game or app that I used for over ten hours. That’s still 74 different pieces of software!

Continue reading Nintendo 3DS by the Hours

Sunset of the Dual Screen

For each year that passes, I become more and baffled that this website still exists. Like, I have immense difficulty focusing on anything for more than about 10 minutes at a time, and a list of unfinished projects that could wrap around the Earth. How am I still doing this???

I don’t have an answer to that question. But Nintendo recently asked themselves a similar question, in relation to keeping the ol’ 3DS family of systems relevant. Their response was “We’re not.” and earlier this week, it was announced that the 3DS eShop will be shutting down in March of next year. To be more specific, you’ll no longer be able to make purchases at that point. Presumably, the shop will still exist so that people can still download all the games they’ve paid for. Presumably.

Continue reading Sunset of the Dual Screen

TE Video Presents: Batman Pizza

Last year, I made it my mission to upload three videos every week. And I mostly held to that! Kinda fell apart in December, but you know how it is. Work was insane, I was spending what little creative energy I had on the 24 Days of Desire, holiday things were eating up a lot of free time.

I made no such promises to myself in 2022. Trying to create and edit that many videos was… a lot. Even when most of said videos were video game let’s plays and as such, overlapped with things I’d have been doing anyway. Moving forward, I’m just going to create video content when I feel like it. No more forcing myself to meet an imaginary quota and suck the fun out of it.

And so of course, what could possibly more video-worthy than a Batman-themed pizza?

Banjo-Revelationie

I’ve played Banjo-Kazooie, I don’t know, four or five times since it released in 1998. Or at least, I’ve played it that many times to completion. If you count all the times I played through Spiral Mountain on the demo kiosk at Toys ‘R’ Us, the number would quickly become astronomical.

Anyway, Banjo-Kazooie is a pretty open-ended game. Much like Super Mario 64, there is an intended order that you’re supposed to visit the game’s different worlds, but as long as you’ve got enough macguffins to unlock the right doors, you can play the worlds in whatever order you like. Unlike its sequel, Banjo-Tooie, Banjo-Kazooie’s world are pretty well self-contained. Rare is the instance when you have to leave a world because there’s a challenge that you cannot complete without a move learned in a later world.

Continue reading Banjo-Revelationie

Vampire Survivors: A miserable little pile of unlocks

I randomly tuned in to a Twitch stream last week, because the notification on my phone said the streamer in question was playing “the new Castlevania game”. I didn’t know there was a new Castlevania game!!

There isn’t. It was… somewhat misleading. The game being played was, in fact, a $3 indie game called Vampire Survivors. To be fair, this game does rip a lot of ideas (and maybe even sprites) directly from the Castlevania series, but it doesn’t really play like them at all.

And me, I turned around and immediately bought the game and sank most of that evening into it. Then I kept playing it pretty much every day after that. But more on that later!

Continue reading Vampire Survivors: A miserable little pile of unlocks

Mysteries, not solved

I’ve never watched Unsolved Mysteries in my life, but it’s a show that I’ve heard a lot about. Matt from Dinosaur Dracula is a big fan of the show, and as such, I’ve absorbed plenty of information about the show from his websites and the Purple Stuff Podcast. Because of that, I’ve long since been interested in actually watching the show, just to see what it’s like.

Imagine my luck, then, to learn that (what seems to be) every single episode is available to watch on YouTube! For free! Time to learn about all sorts of crimes from the 80’s!

Continue reading Mysteries, not solved

2021 Reflections: Part 4: The Runners-up.

“But Ryan!” you shout, incredulously “Where was Part 3??”

I’ll tell you where Part 3 is. It’s here. I just didn’t add it to the post title, because I didn’t want to. There you go. There’s no lost chapter or anything. Just me being silly and inconsistent.

Anyway, just for kicks, here is the list of video games that I had considered for my 2021 Top 10 list, but didn’t quite make the cut. I think that these are all great games, but they just didn’t affect me the same way that the winners did. I would absolutely recommend any game from this list.

  • Downfall (PC)
  • Ys Origin (Switch)
  • Ys I: Ancient Ys Vanished ~ Omen (PC)
  • Ys II: Ancient Ys Vanished ~ The Final Chapter (PC)
  • Power Wash Simulator (PC)
  • Deltarune: Chapter II (PC)
  • Alisa (PC)
  • Kathy Rain: The Director’s Cut (PC)
Continue reading 2021 Reflections: Part 4: The Runners-up.