You can never have too many Quests

I spent about an hour on Sunday poring over the selection of indie titles available over Xbox Live. It’s not an uncommon pastime for me, though very rarely do I find anything worth its weight in Microsoft points. Officially I went in there looking for Wizorb (which is a story for another day), but DLC Quest managed to catch my attention and I gave it the ol’ trial download. In an exciting twist, I found it plenty enjoyable and put down my points for the full game.

Before I start, the most important thing to note here is that the trial version  of DLC Quest is roughly a third of the entire game’s content. Yeah, the full game is super-short; I completed it in less than half an hour. It only costs 80MSP though, which is roughly a little more than a dollar, and I feel that I’ve gotten more than my dollar’s worth out of the game.

DLC Quest is one big joke. It’s exactly the joke the title describes too; the game lampoons the video game industry’s current trend of selling you half of your game’s content separately from the game itself. Only you have to buy nearly all of this game via DLC (but the DLC is paid for with in-game currency, so it’s okay). At the beginning you character has no animation and can only move left. You’ll notice that there is no sound at all, and that you cannot pause. Each of these features must be bought as in-game DLC packs. Eventually you move on to other, more standard DLC items, like horse armor, a top hat, and a costume pack for the NPCs.

The basic gameplay consists of exploring the map and collecting coins with which you can buy the DLC packs you require to progress further. It’s kind of like a tiny little Metroidvania that plays out on two huge maps. You obtain a sword, but it’s really just a glorified hedge clipper. You can use it to whack the NPCs around, but the only thing you need it for is to remove bushes that block your way.

As I stated before, it took me less than half an hour to completely finish the game, and that includes collecting all the funky little in-game “awardments.” They’re the indie game stand-in for achievements, if you hadn’t guessed.

While the gameplay doesn’t give you anything new or really noteworthy, the important thing to note is that DLC Quest knows that it’s a big joke and plays to that as much as it can. The short conversations between the nameless hero and the NPC range from clever to snarky, and are almost always funny. There are even a couple little twists thrown in towards the end, and the final boss encounter will subvert all your expectations. The graphics are simple and charming, the way pixel graphics ought to be, and while the music isn’t exactly memorable, it’s enough to keep you bopping along for the short ride.

The thing I want to praise DLC Quest for most is it’s control scheme. Yes, it’s just running and jumping, but it’s running and jumping done right. I swear most of these indie platformer developers have no idea how a video game character should move. DLC Quest’s hero moves breezily along, whereas the heroes of most of the other indie platformers I’ve played (Endless Princess, Aurelia, Castle of Pixel Skulls, etc.) are either way too fast or move like they’re made of wood. Not that it’s a problem inherent to indie games mind you, as plenty of regular games suffer from awful controls. I guess the point is that if you character is going to be spending most of his/her time running and jumping, it’s not a bad idea for them to have the same feel as Mario.

Anyway, DLC Quest is a winner. If you’ve got half an hour to kill and 80 Microsoft points languishing in your account, there are worse ways to spend them.

Like a sieve

Back in November I was considering doing my “24 Days of Materialism” again this year (because it’s such a hit, you see). I had a rough draft of the items I was going to pitch and everything.

Clearly, I forgot.

It’s okay though! I have a backup plan! It’s not a very good one, but at least it’ll be something. So check back on December 24th to see what I’ve got cooking. And now for something completely different:

I spelled “forgot” wrong at first, and WordPress’ spellcheck suggested that I meant to type “faggot.” Why would it suggest that? Come on WordPress, have a little decorum. But that did remind me of a rather hilarious blog that I’ve been following since last week: Texts From Bennett. It’s sooo inappropriate but sooooo hilarious. It’s not often that I have a hard time containing my amusement while browsing the web. I definitely recommend against reading this at work because you’ll laugh real hard, then people will wonder why you’re laughing and come have a look, then you’ll get fired for looking at offensive material during work hours.

Cart way before the horse

So I was reading this interview with Shigeru Miyamoto, and at one point he mentions that he thinks that The Legend of Zelda would be a good franchise to have Retro Studios work on next. I don’t even know where to start on that one, but the frothing demand bird should be here any minute.

Yeah, I don’t really want to get into speculation on a new Zelda game before the last one’s been out even a month. Go read that interview.

Ice is nice

It should be pretty well known by now that I’m a big fan of Mike & Ike candies. There are a few little things that regular folk don’t know about them though. The average person knows the original flavours in the green box, and the Berry Blast variety in the blue box can almost always be found next to the originals. The Tropical Typhoon flavour (red box 1) is the best of the basic triad by leaps and bounds, but is significantly harder to find. These all come in the long, rectangular box in which the candies are loose. There is one flavour that comes in a slightly more squareish box, Tangy Twister. These are the worst. Not only do they taste bad, but there is a plastic pouch inside the box that holds the candies, resulting in considerably less candies than you’d find in the long box. There are some other flavours, like Red Rageous (the best), Jolly Joes, and Lemonade Blends. However, these flavours are either incredibly rare or not sold in Canada., because I’ve only ever seen Red Rageous when I drive down past the border.

Last week, we were down at the Forks Market, and while perusing one particular candy shop (I can’t be bothered to remember what it was called) I found these babies. While I was thrilled to find a flavour of Mike & Ikes that I’d never seen before, I was immediately suspicious of the squareish box. I bought it anyway because I like Mike & Ike.

Arriving back at home, I broke into the box with haste and discovered that it did indeed contain the plastic baggie of candies. Less candy than a standard box? That’s one strike against Italian Ice. Then I looked at the back to see what the flavours were… and they were all the same as the original Mike & Ikes, albeit swapping lime for watermelon. What was going on here?

I popped a few in my mouth, and at first it seemed like just the regular old flavours going on, and then it hit me. The Italian Ice candies produce a very strange taste sensation that I really have no idea how to describe. It’s sort of reminiscent of eating a freezie that tastes like Mike & Ikes, just without the cold. It’s totally weird, but wonderful in a way. I probably won’t buy them again because I’m never at the Forks and they cost like a dollar more there (plus you get less in this dumb box), but I liked them. If Walmart started selling them, I’d probably pick up a box every once in a while.

Real Ultimate Victory

Tigrex isn’t the biggest monster. Nor is he the last one you face. He’s not even on the cover of Monster Hunter Freedom: Unite (though to be fair he was on the cover of Monster Hunter Freedom 2). What he is, and forever will be, is my least favourite monster to hunt. Kushala Daora? Annoying, but not so bad. Lunastra? Way too strong, but not nearly as cheap. Tigrex? I hate you.

This is a photo of the first tigrex I was ever able to bring down. Probably my most hard-fought video game achievement ever. I might have lasted long enough to slay the bastard, but I didn’t want to take that chance. Tigrex can and will destroy you in a matter of seconds if you give him the opportunity. I just loathe the thought of having to face a buffed-up version of this guy once I get into the high-rank quests. Maybe I’ll have to consider this particular Monster Hunter experience complete one I’m done the low-ranks. Tigrex is the monster that makes Monster Hunter so hard that it’s not fun anymore. (And that’s saying a lot, because I find Monster Hunter to be super fun!)

What a twist!

Nearing the end of our ComicCon adventure, Stephanie was getting a little thirsty. We’d been there several hours and hadn’t stopped for sustenance since leaving home. We were about to head out to find a refreshment stand when I saw this baby at a kiosk.

It was surrounded by other, potentially much healthier foreign beverages, but I was determined to get me some foreign Pepsi. They were ridiculously expensive at $3.00 a can, but hey, at least it was something to write about. The Pepsi Twist was streets ahead of the terrible, terrible Pepsi Lime, but it still wasn’t great. It was more like drinking a 7up with a splash of Pepsi, rather than the other way around. Not bad, overall, but I certainly wouldn’t spend three more dollars on another can. A six-pack, maybe. I’m assuming it’s pretty much the same thing as the North American version of Pepsi Twist was, but I haven’t seen that stuff in forever, and don’t recall ever trying it back when it was available.

I can’t read a lick of this because my knowledge of the Japanese language is extremely limited, but I’m pretty sure it’s telling you that this stuff is going to kill you. That or it’ll give you a serious case of the diabetes. But then again, isn’t that the case for all soft drinks?

TE @ C4

It’s gotta be… weeks now since I went to Central Canadian Comic Con. It was cool, I must say. Though I guess I’m not as much of a nerd as I thought it was because it was (local) Nerd Mecca and I wasn’t super-psyched about it. Oh well. I took a few (blurry) pictures while I was there. Everything from Minecraft to papercraft, and even one ass that did not belong in that costume. Actually I took a few pictures of those, but I figured one is enough to prove my point and deleted the rest. Be thankful. There’s an alternate universe where this post is all pictures of asses that shouldn’t be seen by human eyes.

         

         

              

         

         

              

              

         

To The Moon

I’m beginning to think that I have some sort of mild ADD, because while I’m still super excited to have a new Zelda, I keep not playing it in favour of other games. Last Friday, the other game in question was To the Moon.

I’ve been following this one since early this year, waiting anxiously for it to be released. When it was finally available for public consumption, I (in a very odd twist) did not purchase it right away. It wasn’t until I read a review of how intensely emotional it was that I sped home after work to buy and play it.

Given the opportunity, I would have sat there and gunned through it from start to finish, but alas, life got in the way around the two-hour mark. I went back to it as soon as possible, and after a total of three and a half hours of text boxes and tile puzzles, I finally got to the end. Yeah, it’s short, but that’s okay. It’s really just an interactive story, after all.

And that is why it was so important for me to hear that it had a strong emotional weight. From the trailers and pre-release writing about the game, it was pretty obvious that there wasn’t a lot of “game” to be had. Indeed, someone could very well turn To the Moon into a movie. It could have just as easily been a novel. But I think it’s important that it was a game. Or, that it was interactive, anyway. I don’t think a movie version would flow as nicely, and a novel would obviously lack the superb soundtrack that accompanies the game. Besides, it would take way more than three and a half hours to read a novel. You won’t want to put this one down once you’re in it.

To be fair (and thorough), I’ll admit that what little gameplay there is can be rough around the edges. Most of the levels consist of watching some drama play out, poking about the environment for “keys,” then solving a puzzle to move on. After Act 1, the keys are less often random environmental objects and will usually come along with some story bits, which makes finding them considerably less tedious. Also, the horse level is super annoying, and there’s a weird action level near the end that has no business being there. But those little issues are besides the point, and I bet they’re probably just there because someone felt like it needed to be just a little more gamey.

The game is about two doctors (Eva Rosalene and Neil Watts) who travel into the memories of a dying man (Johnny) to help grant him his dying wish. That wish is to go to the moon, and they do it by rejiggering his memories so he will believe it actually happened. The game is divided into small “levels,” each representing an important memory to Johnny. In each memory, you will very slowly uncover new clues about Johnny’s tragic life. I wish I could say more than that, but I would feel awful in spoiling any of it. All I can say is that it breaks the heart.

To the Moon packs an intense emotional wallop, and a lesser man would have been brought to tears at no less than half a dozen points in the story, especially if he were able to relate to the goings-on. The major themes of the game are love, death, and coping with disabilities. If that isn’t a recipe for a sob-fest, I don’t know what is. Maybe I’m just getting soft in my old age. Maybe it’s because I can kind of relate to Johnny’s plight. The point is that I was touched by this story.

I have no reservations in saying that To the Moon has the best video game story that I’ve seen to date. We talk about video games tugging at our heart strings all the time, but none have ever affected me like this one. We all know that I barely gasped when Aeris died. I thought the baby metroid’s sacrifice was sad, but I didn’t dwell on it after the game. Earthbound stirs my emotions, yes, but in a completely different way. To the Moon is a competently written story packaged up in a video game to get people like me, who would have no interest otherwise, to experience it.

I know that $13.42 sounds like a lot for an interactive story, but I couldn’t be more satisfied with my purchase. It’s about the same price as seeing a 3D movie, and no movie will move you like To the Moon. Obviously I urge you to head on over to the website and do the same. And while you’re there, check out (and then buy) the soundtrack, too. Laura Shigihara’s piano melodies were more than enough to choke me up on their own, which lent a lot to my desire for the game. It’s also worth mentioning that I’m a pretty big supershigi fan. So, what, less than $20 for both? I’d say that’s a winning deal. Sure, you could wait for it maybe be available through Steam someday and then wait some more for it to go on sale. Just for the love of Pete, don’t pirate it. The people who poured so much time and effort deserve a little recompense. This is a fantastic project, and a labour of love. It’s certainly got my seal of approval.