And so our story ends

It’s been a month now since my wife moved out.

Everyone who knows me already knows that I put my heart and soul into my marriage. To the exclusion of a lot of other things, even. Having it crumble to pieces broke me pretty hard, and for a while I’d lost the will to do anything at all.

This is why I hadn’t drawn and posted a comic in January, despite having the intent to draw at least one a month for 2015. But that’s besides the point.

I wrote a very long essay about what went down and how it has affected me, but it’s rather personal and I’d prefer to keep it to myself, if that’s alright. Here are the main beats of the story: 1. She left. 2. I was depressed and spent two weeks on my parents’ couch feeling bad for myself. 3. I’m not doing that any more.

To suggest that I’m “over it” would be a bald-faced lie, but I’m sick of feeling like crap because I couldn’t save a relationship that was, though I denied it until the very end, doomed from the start. I’m putting it behind me and getting on with my life. Yes, I am still emotionally tender, and I’m not excited about getting all the legal stuff hammered out, but I’m moving forward.

I’m not entirely sure how to sum up how I’m feeling about this whole situation, but even though this has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through, I’m beginning to see how much of a good thing it’s going to be for me. I still love my wife, but I’ve also accepted that she was so, so bad for me, and that I need her out of my life. It still makes me feel horrible to say that, but I’m free of that darkness now.

It’s only been a month, and that’s not really long enough to gauge my mental and emotional recovery, but there are more good days than bad right now, so I’m taking that for what it’s worth. I don’t have a very clear picture of what the future has in store for me, but I’m hoping that I’ve got some good karma flowing my way.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – January 2015

January is a time for playing a ton of cheap digital games that I bought with my Xmas Fun Bucks. So hold onto your butts, this is going to be another long one.

~ Now Playing ~

Saints Row IV (PC) – This is my new favourite open-world game. It’s like Volition looked at Crackdown and said “You know what we should do? That. But let’s turn it up to eleven.” Well played, Volition. I’m currently sitting at 79% completion.

Woah Dave! (3DS) – Hearkening back to the arcade days, Woah Dave! is a simple game where you bounce around, chucking stuff at aliens. Also, you collect pennies. How quaint. Unusually addictive.

1001 Spikes (3DS) – Absolutely brutal “torture platformer” that’s still a lot of fun. I’m not really into games that make you play a level 50 times until you get it perfectly, but this one is scratching an itch that I didn’t know I had. I’ve cleared the first three “worlds” so far.

Dragon Quest II (iOS) – Finished the first one last month, so I plonked down a couple bucks for number two. Got up to recruiting the Price of Cannock.

Alphadia Genesis (WiiU) – Retro JRPG by Natsume. Bought this entirely on whim and a craving for, well, a retro JRPG. So far, it’s pretty shabby and not at all noteworthy.

Citizens of Earth (3DS) – It looked too much like Earthbound to pass up. It’s pretty good, but not anywhere near as endearing as Earthbound. I’ll never reminisce about playing this.

Pokémon Alpha Sapphire (3DS) – Started playing some of the post-game content, but I’m feeling pretty apathetic about it. I think maybe I’m over Pokémon?

Lufia: The Legend Returns (GBC) – Apparently RPGs are a thing for me this month. It’s called Lufia, but it’s not like the Lufias that came before it. It’s got random dungeons and a weird but enjoyable 9-character battle system. I like it, but it’s a little grindy. Not even halfway through.

Super Smash Bros for 3DS/Wii U (3DS/WiiU) – I just keep on keepin’ on.

Rusty’s Real Deal Baseball (3DS) – Freemium Nintendo game where you can haggle over the price of the in-game purchases. I only bought the first mini-game, but it’s been pretty fun and sort of addictive. I don’t know if I’ll keep putting money into it though.

Assassin’s Creed II (360) – Plugged a couple of hours into this while waiting for something better to download. Probably won’t go back. It’s not bad, but I really don’t understand how it go so popular.

After Burner II (Arcade) – People seem to go ga-ga about these Sega 3D Classics, and this one looked really cool. I played it once until I died and didn’t think about it again until I wrote this blurb.

~ Game Over ~

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (WiiU) – The super-secret final bonus level… she’s too hard! But I beat every other stage and got all the stamps, so let’s say I won.

Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii) – It was really hard, but also a whole lot of fun. And it’s got a really great super-secret final bonus level. Also really tough, but beatable! I scored 101%, but didn’t bother getting all the puzzle pieces or trying to complete the time trials or Mirror Mode.

Fairune (3DS) – Do you like old-school action RPGs? Do you like getting no direction on what to do, and having to push every rock and burn every tree on the map? Well then, Fairune might just be the game for you. I liked it well enough.

Ikachan (3DS) – A very short game about a little squid who has to save his urchin friends from the inevitable collapse of their cove. Took about an hour to beat, but was thoroughly enjoyable because it’s more or less the proof-of-concept for Cave Story.

Master Reboot (WiiU) – While it is plagued by shoddy craftsmanship from beginning to end, I think that it was interesting and engaging enough to be considered good. The final stage was a bit irritating, but otherwise, I’m glad that I played it.

Shovel Knight (3DS) – My favourite game of 2014. So much did I like it, that I bought a second, more portable copy. Yes, yes, I’m bad at money. W/E.

Crystal Monsters (DSi) – Cheap DSiWare Pokémon ripoff. It’s pretty bland, but I can take a picture with the camera and paste it on my monsters’ faces. So there’s that.

Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (GB) – Every time I replay this, I forget that Wario’s castle is harder than every other level combined.

Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate demo (3DS) – Normally I don’t do write-ups for demos because that’s stupid, but I spent a stupid amount of time playing this. It’s Monster Hunter. What can I say?

Kirby Triple Deluxe (3DS) – Replayed this because I needed something cheerful.

Gunman Clive 2 (3DS) – Short but oh-so-sweet. Surpasses the original in every way, and has one of my favourite final bosses in recent memory.

Impending Fame

Do you remember how I mentioned a few months ago that I was listening to the No More Whoppers podcast? Well, I started from the very beginning, and I’m very proud to announce that I’ve finally made it to the episode wherein my name is mentioned during Fanf.

So please go ahead and listen to Episode 110 – Gilded as Charged so that you can hear my name mentioned on a podcast for the first time ever! Probably also for the last time.

The Full List

You didn’t ask for it, but I know you’re curious. So here’s the complete list of video games I own that I’ve never played. This is not including re-releases that I haven’t played, but have played the original release (because there are lots of those too). Nor does it include games that I have played for at least one minute.

Prepare yourself, you are about to stare directly into the depths of my sickness.

Continue reading The Full List

New Year’s Resomolutions

It’s 2015. Last year was a big ol’ pile of crap for me, hopefully this one turns out better. But hey, let’s not dwell on past miseries. Rather, let us look into the future with optimistic eyes.

Last year was the Year of Nintendo 64 here on TE. It was an… experience. Sometimes things turned out well, other times my hopes were dashed quite thoroughly. One time I actually got so frustrated that I pulled a cartridge (that shall not be named) out of the console and chucked it across the room. Ahh… good times.

So with that in mind, here’s this years theme: The Year of Overdue Attention. It’s the year of buying fewer new games, and playing the ones that I already own but haven’t touched at all. This year isn’t about nostalgia, it’s about clearing up a little bit of my hideous backlog.

There are hundreds of games in my Steam library. Many of them unwanted hangers-on that came to be there through Humble Bundles that I bought for other, more attractive games. These are not the games I mean. I’m talking about the ones that have literally done nothing but sit on the shelf and collect dust since I bought them. Cases that have never been cracked open. Discs that have never been spun. ROM that hasn’t been read. Let’s have a look at the short list.

Wii U

  • Assassin’s Creed III
  • Batman: Arkham Origins
  • The Wonderful 101

DS / 3DS

  • Final Fantasy III

Xbox 360

  • The Incredible Hulk
  • Mass Effect III
  • Tomb Raider (2014)

PS3

  • Drakengard 3
  • Ico

PS2

  • Castlevania: Lament of Innocence
  • Siren

PSP

  • Dead Head Fred

This is not the complete list, but rather the ones that I want to focus on. Now, most of these are big, meaty games. Considerably larger and longer than the average N64 game. I do not expect to finish them all. I chose twelve, but I am not holding myself to doing one a month. It’s simply me trying to justify all the money that I sunk into these games, only to end up ignoring them.

Please note that I do have a second resolution: And that is to write and draw at least one comic strip a month. I went over this intent briefly before, and I really can’t flesh it out any more than I already have. Like, this paragraph is already longer than it needs to be. The games are just for me, but the comics are something that I get to share with the whole internet, so I hope that you’re looking forward to them!

And that’s my long-range plan for 2015. Here’s hoping it’s a pretty dry year for video games, because I clearly have way more than I need already.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: December 2014

Merry MegaMas, everyone!

[banner]

~ Now Playing ~

Super Smash Bros for Wii U (WiiU) – Words about Smash Brothers.

Hyrule Warriors (WiiU) – Forever. It’s going to last forever.

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (WiiU) – Delightful. Though sometimes needlessly cruel.

Always Sometimes Monsters (PC) – Slow going on this one. I’ve played through two and a half days, and it seems like there isn’t always something to do? Maybe I need to talk to more people. Unless it gets more interesting, I might have to shelve this one. It’s a shame, because it seemed really neat at first.

Super Smash Bros for 3DS (3DS) – I told you last month, it’s considered beaten, but I’m not done with it yet. Had to hunt down all of those trophies! …and then just play more.

Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii) – Decided to go back to this for a bit because it’s wonderful and worth beating. We’ll see if I can make it though, as it gets incredibly difficult. Working on World 7 at the moment.

Alien: Isolation (360) – More of this happened, but very little progress was made. Stuck partway through chapter ten, I think?

A Kappa’s Trail (DSi) – A game I got for free through Club Nintendo. It’s one of those rare games that’s played entirely with the touch screen, but is also really good.

Sacred Citadel (PC) – I was intent on just burning my way to the end of this one, but then the difficulty spiked on Act 4 and I don’t really wanna grind levels…

Lucadian Chronicles (WiiU) – A card battle game. Free, so I gave it a shot. Passed the first chapter, don’t know if I’ll ever go back.

Saints Row IV (PC) – Here we go, down the rabbit hole again…

~ Game Over ~

Pokémon Alpha Sapphire (3DS) – Nuzlocke victory!!

Mega Man Legends (PS1) – One of my favourite Playstation games. Some of the best 3D visuals on the machine, if nothing else (there is plenty of else).

Evoland (PC) – It’s a cute little indie game wherein you actually collect the game mechanics, graphics, etc as you go. Eventually it loses is way and ends up being about twice as long as it needs to be. Still, at 3-4 hours long, it’s not a dealbreaker.

Dragon Quest (iOS) – It’s Dragon Quest. There’s not a lot to say about it.

The Letter (WiiU) – Not the worst dollar I’ve spent, but I’m a little disappointed that Nintendo is apparently letting just anything onto the eShop. Whatever happened to quality control?

Dead Bits (PC) – It’s kind of crappy. But I only paid sixteen cents for it, so I can’t really complain.

~ Re-Runs ~

Mega Man 4 (NES) – Still my favourite Mega Man.

Mega Man IV (GB) – A wonderful game through and through, with the single glaring exception of Crystal Man’s stage. It is, in a word, poop.

Mega Man II (GB) – Yup, still embarrassingly easy. Terrible soundtrack.

Mega Man 5 (NES) – Almost as easy. The Protoman and Wily Castles have some challenging levels, and Charge Man is the only boss that isn’t a complete pushover.

Mega Man 3 (NES) – Great until Doc Robot shows up. Then it becomes almost unbearably hard.

Mega Man III (GB) – The exact opposite of MMII GB. So, very difficult and perfect music (or at least as close to perfect as the Game Boy is going to get).

Super Mario Advance (GBA) – Intended to play through every stage, but I accidentally warped past World 6. Didn’t even know that there was a warp in 5-3, because I always use the 4-2 warp.

Year of N64 – December: Mega Man 64(ish)

Okay, so… I didn’t actually play an N64 game in December. Fact is, I ran out of games that I wanted to play, and I couldn’t find any other decent ones for cheap. So I did the next best thing: I played a Playstation game that is also a Nintendo 64 game.

Aside from having changed the title from Mega Man Legends to Mega Man 64, the game is almost the exact same. Slightly better graphics and slightly inferior audio are the traits that define the N64 port from its source material. If you don’t believe me, here’s a list of differences between the two. I think that justifies me.

For the record, I also “cheated” last month, as I played the Virtual Console version of Majora’s Mask instead of the N64 cartridge that was sitting right there.

It should be noted right away that I love Mega Man Legends. Yeah, I know I probably shouldn’t put the conclusion so close to the beginning, but this is a retrospective, not a review. You’re not here to look for a score before rushing out to buy the game. You’re reading this because you’re interested in my thoughts on Mega Man Legends… I mean Mega Man 64. Either way.

Legends was the first 3D Mega Man game. It also came out at a time where the Mega Man X series began to spiral out of control and get all serious and grimdark. As a result, you might think that it would also be a “mature” title. In fact, it’s about as colourful and cartoony as games get. At least on the surface…

At the outset of the game, your airship has crashed on an island that barely registers as a speck on the map of the somehow-flooded Earth. It’s filled with lively people and cute animals, and you have a family of goofy pirates as your rivals. The voice acting is silly (in a good way), and the main characters all have animated faces pained onto their polygonal heads. It’s very light-hearted and fun.

Oh and also the pirates command an army of adorable little LEGO men. It really doesn’t get any cuter than this.

Then by the end of the game, you’ve delved into several caverns filled with bloodthirsty robots, several districts of the city have been demolished, and it turns out that the treasure you’ve been seeking the whole time is actually a robot who intends to murder everyone on the island with a giant ion cannon (or something like that). That took a dark turn.

Those are just the broad strokes, though. And it’s not really the story that stands out. You really have to play the game (and be thorough about it) to be able to appreciate its wonderful characterization and setting. All of the main characters are lovable and overflowing with personality. To think that a Playstation game could have such three-dimensional characters is almost astounding. Even though you never stray from Kattleox Island, you’ll never long for more, as the game world is abounding with its own personality and has plenty of areas to explore and little secret and details to discover.

You will, however, feel like maybe there could be more game there. And not because it’s too short or otherwise lacks content, but because it’s simply a joy to play. The controls take some getting used to, but once you get a feel for moving around, moving around is pretty fun in and of itself. Mega Man Legends is one of those games where it’s fun just to jump. It just feels so right. And it sounds right too. The mechanical whoosh sound effect is perfect, and you can really feel the impact of a landing. I don’t know how exactly, but that’s just the way it is. Jumping is very satisfying.

Of course, Mega Man has other moves, too. There’s a sideways roll that’s sort of hard to pull off, but it’s pretty cool. Later on, you get a pair of “jet skates” that allow you to… I don’t even know the word to describe what they do. You press the button, and Mega Man leans forward and just sort of glides along the ground. It’s weirder than just allowing him to dash, but it’s unique and pretty fun. And your feet shoot out sparks when you turn! Neat!

Then there’s the massive arsenal of weapons. Check it out; Mega Man’s got land mines, grenades, a machine gun, a vacuum arm (?), a drill arm, a laser beam, and much more. Each one can be upgraded in several areas (firepower, range, etc), but enhancements will cost you a huge chunk of change. The downside is that you can only equip one special weapon at a time, and you’ve got to have Roll switch them out for you when you want a different one. So you’ve either got to know what’s coming and prepare accordingly, or just pick one you like and hope for the best.

Special weapons are definitely secondary, though. Mega Man’s trusty Mega Buster is always equipped, and will get you through even the toughest scrapes. You get to customize it with different parts too, which will change how it works. Want a powerful shot? Equip a couple of Power raisers. Maybe you’d rather just overwhelm you enemies with continuous fire? Use parts that increase your rate of fire and energy (which dictates how many shots you can fire in a row). Perhaps you’re more interested in a challenge? Try to beat the game without using any Buster parts. It’s very flexible!

Despite all the options, combat is a little stiff. Mega Man can lock onto enemies, but he’s completely immobile while doing so. It’s a little more Resident Evil than Mega Man. Fortunately, locking on isn’t terribly important, and it’s just as easy to defeat most enemies without using the feature. Occasionally it’s somewhat necessary, and in those instances you really need to learn to find your best opportunities to attack.

Mega Man Legends, in my opinion at least, has aged pretty well. The joints are a little creaky, sure, but it holds up a heck of a lot better than the vast majority of 3D Playstation games. Against the heavy hitters of the N64? Maybe not quite as well, but there’s nothing else like it on the N64, so it’d still be a welcome addition to anybody’s library. At the very least, you need to experience it through a Let’s Play or something. Preferably one made by someone who loves the game as much as I do.

In the air tonight

Sense memories. We all have them. Or at least I’m assuming we all have them. Little moments when something innocuous -a smell or a feeling, perhaps- brings back a very specific memory. Being such a nostalgic person, I tend to get them all the time. But never quite in the same frequency as I do in December.

It’s not often big or particularly affecting memories that are triggered, either. It’s usually just little things. When I’m sitting around and I feel a rush of cold air from somebody coming into the house, for example, I’m brought back immediately to my early teenage years. I can picture myself in the basement of my parents’ house, playing video games on the little TV designated for video games, while the main TV played on the background, filling the room with the sounds of sitcom Christmas episodes.

Then my parents come in. If they were doing normal shopping, they just bring in their purchases (probably groceries) as usual. If they were doing Christmas shopping, my mother will come in first and announce that everybody had better stay where they are and away from the door (usually followed by me running straight towards the door, for the sake of being a nuisance). A few moments later, the cold air from the outside will make its way down to me. I never thought that little chill would leave such a defined mark on me, but it did. It’s funny how humans work.

While the SNES was hooked up to that little video games TV for many years, it’s always the N64 in my memory, and usually I’ve got a rented game in there. Gex 64: Enter the Gecko and Winback are the ones that figure most prominently into this memory (placing it in 1999), but Super Mario 64 shares a similar mindspace. In fact, this very memory recalls when I beat it for the very first time. Perhaps that’s just another reason why it remains my favourite video game of all time.

If you hadn’t connected the dots yet, it is this very memory that led to the Year of Nintendo 64. In a fit of irony, I didn’t play any of the games mentioned above this year. Okay, I did play the DS port of Super Mario 64, but it’s got a whole different feel to it. Not nearly as nostalgic as the original. Gex didn’t make the cut because I bought the Playstation version of Enter the Gecko on my PSP a couple years ago and found out that it didn’t age terribly well. Winback… I do really want to play Winback again, but it’s so ingrained in that one part of my memory that I don’t think I could appreciate it in any other setting.

Anyway, that’s more or less all that I wanted to share today. Hooray for posts about weird things going on in my head! I often write these posts and then wonder if even a single other person in the world would have a damn clue what I’m talking about. I guess it doesn’t really matter.

Oh yeah, and that was about the most Christmassy thing that going to be happening on TE this year. So have yourselves a merry little Christmas, or a happy little whatever else you might be celebrating. Have a good time, is what I’m saying.

Give a hoot

I’m basically defined by my obsession with video games. It’s a little sad, but it’s true. What some people don’t know though, is that I have other hobbies! Hobbies that I have been sorely neglecting as of late, in favour of, well, playing more games.

As of this writing, I have beaten 131 games this year. That’s more than a little excessive.

So next year, in addition to trying to draw more, I’m going to try to read more. Though I’m well aware that “read more” is a goal that I’ve set for myself for at least the last four years or so. It should be easier now that I have the Kobo, with scores of books at my fingertips at any given time. According to the Already Read folder, I’ve read ten books on it so far this year. Though to be fair, three of those were issues of SCROLL magazine, and two were comic books.

I have purchased no fewer than six Story Bundles this year, so I have a veritable mountain of literature to work through. Which is great, but I’ve said it several times before that I don’t read enough to actually know what I like to read. Story Bundles seem like a great solution to that problem, because each one has had at least one book that immediately interests me, so it’s like I’m paying for that one and then getting a whole bunch of other stuff to check out for free.

Maybe I’ll even get around to finishing Frankenstein one of these days, too. I’ve only read about a quarter of the book, but I’ve enjoyed that portion of it so much, it’s a darn shame that the Kobo Store doesn’t offer free versions of classic literature like iBooks does. I just find it too hard to read on my tiny iPhone screen.

Mike Tyson and some mysteries

My TV and movie viewing tastes are pretty much the same as they used to be. If anything, they’ve expanded. The problem is that I rarely feel like I have it in me to sit down and watch a movie, never mind start watching a TV series. And so my Netflix queue just grows and grows.

In fact, the majority of my TV consumption lately has just been watching BoJack Horseman again and again for some reason. Because I want to watch something light and fluffy, and animated shows tend to appeal to me more than live action. And there aren’t many animated sitcoms on Netflix other than Futurama, American Dad!, and Family Guy, all of which I’ve watched already, and have far too many episodes for me to be able to just choose one and throw it on.

The other night, though, I found the perfect thing. Mike Tyson Mysteries. I was hoping for (but not expecting) a little more, but it ended up being just another stupid Adult Swim thing with 11-minute episodes. Fortunately, I ended up enjoying it far more than I probably should have.

mtmystery

Mike Tyson is obviously the star, along with a merry band of mystery-solving sidekicks: his adopted Korean daughter Yung Hee, the ghost of the Marquess of Queensberry, and a talking pigeon named Pigeon.

I don’t want to call a honeydew a cantaloupe here; Mike Tyson Mysteries is a stupid show. Mike is a good-hearted moron, which is fine, but sometimes goes a bit too far. Like, even more unbelievably stupid than the average dumb sitcom guy. Pigeon is generally just annoying, and he gets more “jokes” than anyone else. Yung Hee just blends into the background most of the time, and hasn’t gotten enough lines yet to be anything other than the straight man to Mike’s fool.

I don’t have anything bad to say about Marquess. He’s voiced by Jim Rash, and that’s more than enough to make him infallible in my eyes.

There’s good stuff too, though! The stories are generally quite insane, and Mike’s stupidity entertains me just as often as it makes me facepalm. In one episode, for instance, he thinks that he’s unwittingly become a serial killer of astronauts, and has to go to the moon to discover a major government secret. Another one has him searching for proof of magic to restore an old wizard’s faith. A good portion of the jokes are quite funny, and I found myself very surprised at how often I was laughing out loud.

So it’s like a lot of other Adult Swim shows, where you’ve got to take the good with the bad. For example, in the first episode, there’s a running gag where Mike can’t pronounce the word ‘chupacabra.’ I was thinking that it was a missed opportunity that he always just sort of mangled it, and never pronounced it ‘chimichonga.’ But then, one of the funniest lines of the episode ended up being Pigeon’s earnest “‘Chupacabra’ is a really hard word for him.” I laughed and laughed. On the other hand, Marquess makes a really off-colour joke at one point in the fifth episode, and while the show goes to lengths to acknowledge that it’s a really bad joke (Marquess is distraught over it for the rest of the episode, Mike and Yung Hee ignore him for days afterward), it still sort of soured the entire episode for me.

There are only five episodes on Netflix as of this writing, as the show began airing in October and they didn’t just dump the entire run on there all at once. I’m likely going to be keeping up with this one, as like I said before, I enjoyed it far more than I should have. So go boot up Netflix and set it to Mike Tyson Mysteries next time you’ve got some time to kill. You might just like it too.