The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 12 – The Blueberry Perogy Experiment

A couple weekends ago, my grandmother invited me over to make perogies for Xmas dinner with her. She had floated the idea several months prior, and I don’t think she actually expected me to follow through. But, if I’ve learned anything from the recent passing of my other set of grandparents, it’s that I ought to take advantage of any change I get to spend time with the remaining ones. So I spent a Sunday afternoon making perogies with my grandparents.

It was actually a lot of fun, and more than anything I enjoyed listening to the stories they told. Making the perogies proper was a neat new activity for me, but my grandma had already pre-made all the dough and filling, so my job was simply to sit there and wrap dough around cheese balls for three hours. It wasn’t exciting by any measure, but it was something far different from my usual, so a worthwhile experience.

We came out with a good chunk of leftover dough, and my grandma then had the keep idea to use it to make blueberry perogies. Okay, sure. I love blueberries. This could work. So she brought over a bowl filled with blueberries… and blueberry Jell-o crystals. Uh… okay. that seems weird, but let’s be open-minded and give it a try. I know from experience that eating Jell-o crystals is not a great idea, but I’m willing to see this through.

After wrapping the blueberry mixture in dough shells (some of mine looked more like dumplings than perogies), they were off to the boiling station where my grandpa had been working. They were boiled for a while, and we decided not to freeze and save them, but to just eat them right then and there.

Let me tell you… don’t use Jell-o crystals in your blueberry perogies. They’ll come out way too sweet and be nearly inedible. And I’m a guy who cherishes his sweets. It was just way too much, though I firmly believe the idea would have been solid if we had only used blueberries as filling. Maybe it would have worked out better if the Jell-o had been made beforehand and then mashed into the perogies, but crystal form wasn’t quite right.

But in the end, I got a delicious home-cooked meal of roast beef, potatoes, and veggies. So the misstep of the blueberry perogies was quickly forgotten, and my tummy was filled to bursting with delicious foodstuffs. It was a far cry from the kind of dinner I’d have made for myself, so I definitely came out ahead that night. Plus, now I know that there will be home-made perogies waiting for me at Xmas dinner, and I cannot wait!

And that’s my little story. Also, a bit of a warning. Now you all know how not to make blueberry perogies. Happy Wednesday!

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 11 – Fatburger’s Brioche Burger Bomb

Continuing on with th trend of things that are not actually holiday-related in any fashion: Here’s a special burger from my favourite place, Fatburger. It’s called the Brioche Burger Bomb, and as I just learned while visiting the Fatburger website, they took this bad boy off the menu on November 30th. So there’s really no reason for me to write about it, because there’s no way that I can possibly sell you on it.

But never fear, they still have the Ultimate BBQ Burger, and truly, there is no better reason to go to Fatburger.

Oh, but doesn’t she look just heavenly? That Angus beef patty, that onion ring poking out, that sweet, melty Swiss cheese. And it would be great if that was all there was to it, but it’s also got this bacon-onion marmalade that is just so damn good. I love a nice, sweet sauce on my hamburgers, and I’ve got to say that the bacon-onion marmalade probably tops all others. I honestly wish that this were a permanent menu item just so I could have more of that sauce.

Also there’s normally mayo on this burger, but there isn’t any on mine because f**k mayo.

Brioche Burger Bomb! It was delicious, and it’s fun to type! I wish I could have it again!

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 10 – Mickey Anniversary Oreos

You know what really grinds my gears? There are exactly zero interesting holiday-style chocolate bars out this year. Like, I’ve been looking, and there’s squat. You get the regular stuff like red-and-green Smarties or… you know what, that might actually be it. There was literally nothing else memorable available. At least that I’ve been able to find. Blame Canada.

So today, where it says “chocolate” on my spreadsheet, I am reduced to reviewing this:

Oreos with Mickey Mouse’s face stamped on ’em. I’m not going to lie, this week is going to be stretched very thin for anything actually holiday-themed.

But the Mickey Oreos have a special charm of their own. For one, I love that packaging. The simplicity of the white and sprinkles really works for me. Plus, you can’t go wrong with the classic Mickey design. I’m a little bit lost as to what “The True Original” means. Like, in comparison to what? I just… I need some context here, and it’s much too early in the morning for me to be trying to make up my own silly backstory.

Also worth noting is that these Oreos are birthday cake flavoured. Which is like my absolute favourite Oreo flavour, right behind cinnamon roll and Halloween. I know for a fact that I’ve gone on the “I’m addicted to birthday cake flavoured things” rant many, many times before on this here blog, so I won’t bother again. You should know this by now.

As far as the three fun Mickey designs that the packaging boasts about? I couldn’t be bothered to photograph them all, but in my defense, they’re all pretty underwhelming. Because it’s a straight-up lie. There’s the one Mickey design you see on the package, one is a party popper with some small Mickey head shapes around it, and the last one is just a big 90. LAME.

But hey, they’re birthday cake Oreos. I can’t help but sing their praises, even if the fun designs are not actually all that fun. Beats the standard Oreo logo. So… buy them. Buy the delicious birthday cake Oreos. They’re limited!

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 9 – Sugar Plum Spice Tea

It’s tea day again! Huzzah! The problem with that, though, is that… I don’t know how to talk about tea. I just know when I like a flavour or not. Like orange pekoe. I am not a fan. Not at all. It doesn’t taste a thing like orange. I really would have liked it to have tasted like orange.

But I’m not talking about orange pekoe today. I’m talking about a different tea.

Sugar Plum Spice! How whimsical! So whimsical, in fact, that whoever designs Celestial’s boxes felt it unnecessary to capitalize the flavour, and then use all caps in at least two other places on the box, but then use proper capitalization elsewhere. What is going on!? Who did this and how can they live with themselves? It’s driving me insane!

…So, uh, the tea. This is an herbal tea. I don’t really know what the significance of that is. Perhaps that it’s made with no fruits or nuts or other additives? Nope, no, that can’t be. Says right here that it’s got plums and cinnamon in it. Wait, thery’re actually just plum and cinnamon “flavours”, not the real deal. Whatever that means. Why would you fake cinnamon? Aren’t spices really cheap?

Anyway, I kinda messed up and used up the last bag of sugar plum spice before writing this entry and I didn’t have the foresight to, you know, buy more in the interim. So I can’t even give a shoddy description of what it tastes like. All I can tell you is that I very much like it. Probably my favourite holiday tea that you can buy at Sobey’s. It’s delish, I recommend it!

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 8 – Peppermint Bark Oreos

Saturday is heretofore going to be known as the Day of Cookies. At least for the next two weeks. Then this feature will have run its course and things will go back their normal, less cookie-focused ways.

Today I’m going to talk about the “new” Peppermint Bark Oreos. I question the newness, because in all honesty I’m pretty sure they’re the exact same thing as the Candy Cane Oreos or barkless Peppermint Oreos of years past. It’s just dressing up an old product to look more hipstery. I don’t even know what peppermint bark is, but it sounds like something that is sold at every artisanal candy shoppe come holiday season.

So, they’re very good, but uninspired. That’s really all I care to say about these. I have to get back to Smash Bros now.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 7 – Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms

If you know anything about me, it’s probably that I’m really into video games. If you know two things about me, the second one is likely that I’m also really into sugary cereals. And so, I think you probably get the gist of what today’s entry is.

That was a terrible intro paragraph. Like, maybe like an eight on a to-ten scale of terrible.

Bam. Chocolately Winter Lucky Charms. I never buy Lucky Charms any more. Why? Beats the heck out of me. Despite the fact that I adore many other corn-based cereals with marshmallow accompaniment, Lucky Charms just does nothing for me. Fortunately, my parents just happened to pick up a box for me.

And I know that if you’ve been reading all these entries that you’re starting to think “for a grown man,this guy’s parents sure buy him a lot of stuff” and you aren’t wrong. But who the heck else would buy me anything? Nobody, that’s who. Why would they? There’s literally no reason for anyone else to buy me anything. But my mom likes to pick up things she knows I’ll like, and I’m happy to give go-credit to my dad. And so I get a bunch of stuff from my parents.

Back to Lucky Charms: You know what this holiday version is? It’s Count Chocula with snowflakes instead of bats. That’s it. Like, I have a box of Count Chocula in my cupboard, and I ate a handful of each back-to-back, and they taste identical. Which should be great! I love Count Chocula! Chocolate cereals aren’t really my jam, but when you make them spooky? Right in my wheelhouse. So Lucky here is at a disadvantage for thematic dissonance, since I expect bats and ghosts when I eat a cereal with this flavour.

But I won’t dock any points, because I’m just happy that a cereal decided to go chocolate for winter. Has that ever happened before? Don’t they normally go red-and-green and/or toss in some sugar sparkles and call ’em snowflakes?  Three years from now I’ll be making a big deal out of something like this again because I’ll have completely forgotten about Chocolately Winter Lucky Charms. So it goes.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 6 – IKEA Cinnamon Buns

You probably caught on already that I have themes defined for each day of the week during this 24 Days of Gluttony feature. Thursday is a little more loose, being listed on my spreadsheet as “other baking?” and only one of the entries is actually Holiday-themed. And that one is certainly not today’s entry.

Today we look at… IKEA cinnamon buns. They are, in fact, cinnamon buns. Thin pastry wound up and glued together with a cinnamon paste, with a drizzle of icing on top. Only the IKEA buns are a little bland, and you could buy better ones at countless other stores.

But, I have a bit of a sentimental attachment to these. As the story goes, I had just purchased a new condo, and as a little moving in treat, my parents brought me a… case? Do these come in a case? A pack? I don’t know what to call that plastic thing. Anyway, a thing of IKEA cinnamon buns. They brought me a thing of these cinnamon buns and a bunch of beer. It was a pretty great housewarming gift, and I fondly recall eating the cinnamon buns as bedtime snacks during that first week in my new place. It was nice.

And that’s about all I have to say about these. I think they may be cheap as dirt, I don’t quite recall. That may actually be the appeal.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 5 – Caramel Brulée Latee

I’ll freely admit it: I absolutely fall for whatever seasonal coffee-based products that restaurants and coffee places deliver in the latter half of the year. While pumpkin spice will always be number one in my heart, there have absolutely been some strong contenders during the holiday season.

Case in point: Starbucks’ caramel brulée latte, also known as “carbrl lat”. It’s a latte, but with more sugar. They have other things, too, but I was immediately taken with this sweet little number. I’ve already had three this season, which is easily two too many, but in my defense… there’s no defense for my poor eating/drinking habits. I just love sugar.

And so yeah, this is… a latte with more sugar. I really don’t know what else to say about it, and I don’t have a story to pad out this post. Much as I love coffee and coffee-related goods, I really have no idea how to talk about them in a know-it-all kind of manner. Sure, I could make stuff up like I know what I’m talking about, but I really don’t dig the idea of outright lying to my readers. Even if those readers are just me four years from now.

That’s about all I have to say on this one. A venti has 59 grams of sugar. That’s more than a dang Slurpee of comparable size. For the sake of you not developing diabetes, I can’t wholly recommend you get this thing. At least get a smaller size. And cap it off at one a year. And ask for no whipped topping. Don’t be like me. I’m a terrible role model.

At least they spelled my name right that time.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 4 – Who-Roast Beast Omelette

It was only late last year, I think, when we finally got an IHOP here. But it’s all the way on the opposite side of the city. Unfortunate, because I have no desire to drive that far for pancakes. Fortunate, because I may have gone bankrupt on pancakes if it were any closer.

However! My family has taken to going there for special occasions, and most recently we went to have dinner to celebrate my brother’s birthday. Only the guest of honour wasn’t there, because he was in Mexico at the time. So really it was just an excuse for us to all go to IHOP. Which I am fine with, because did I mention I love IHOP? #notsponsored

At current, they have a weird cross-promotional thing on where they’ve themed a chunk of their menu after The Grinch, what with the new movie coming out and all. I’ve never been a Grinch fan, so I couldn’t care less about this promotion. Especially since it replaced the fall promotion where they brought back the Cinn-A-Stack pancakes for a limited time. IHOP’s Cinn-A-Stack pancakes are like my most favourite meal of all time, so now I like the Grinch even less.

Instead, I ordered the monstrosity you see below: The “Who-Roast Beast Omelette”. I don’t know why they needed to add the “Who-” on there. I think everyone would have got it with just the “Roast Beast” part. I don’t like the name. It seems weird to me. It was impossibly embarrassing to say while making my order. Stupid Grinch.

But this omelette, despite its silly name, is fantastic! It’s full of hashbrowns, roast beef, cheese, onions, and jalapenos, topped with BBQ sauce and serrano peppers. It’s basically my dream omelette. The most delicious thing in the world (that isn’t cinnamon-themed). If I had any motivation to cook something so elaborate for myself, you could be that I’d be gorging on something like this almost weekly. But man, it’s just way too complicated. Who has time for that?

The only thing that I didn’t like about this omelette is that the menu warns you that it’s SPICY, but it is decidedly not SPICY. It’s barely even spicy. Maybe they under-jalapenoed mine, I don’t know. But it was fairly tame on the spiciness scale. On the other hand, it’s stuffed with hashbrowns, and I am way into stuffing pretty much anything with hashbrowns. You really can’t go wrong with hashbrowns. I mean, you can. I have. But that’s because I’m a terrible cook and burned the crap out of them. This is a weird tangent.

And that’s about all I have to say about that. It’s late. There aren’t enough hours in the day. I’m suddenly remembering why I barely write blog posts anymore. 24 days in a row may have been a terrible idea.

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 3 – Daim bar

Mondays here on the 24 Days of Gluttony are going to be all about chocolate bars. Or, chocolate-based treats, at any rate. Something that it’s mainly chocolate, probably with some other factor on the inside of the chocolate. I’m also cheating with my “holiday-themed” rule already because as it turns out, there are so many fewer Xmas-themed foods out than there used to be. At least, there are fewer worth writing about.

So today we take a look at a fun Swedish chocolate bar that, as far as I know, one can only buy from IKEA, at least if you’re in my neck of the woods. I also heard rumours that there are orange-flavoured Daims, but I did not care to follow up with that, because I strongly believe that chocolate and orange are a terrible pairing.

So Daim. It’s basically Skor. You probably could not tell the difference if you were presented with one of each bar without the wrapper. It’s chocolate covering a hard toffee centre. It’s delicious, but the toffee splinters will likely cause you a little bit of inner mouth trauma.

I guess Daim bars also come in like a regular candy bar size as well, but I only know their fun-size equivalent. Maybe IKEA sells the big version? I don’t know. I never thought to look, and also I’ve never actually purchased Daim on my own. I’ve only ever had them when my parents bring home one of the bags of fun-size bars.

Should you buy Daim? Sure! I mean, if you’re at IKEA, or you live closer to one than I do. It’s a half-hour drive. I just can’t be bothered. Also, I suppose if you like in Sweden you’re probably pretty familiar with these things already. And if you do happen to live in Sweden, would you mind leaving a comment about how you even wound up reading this, please? Like, I can’t even imagine what would have driven you here. But I’m very interested!