Okay. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Here we go.
I’m not gonna hold back on spoilers, so maybe ignore this post if you’re concerned. Probably the only person who’s going to read this is me five years from now, though, so it’s likely moot.
Okay. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Here we go.
I’m not gonna hold back on spoilers, so maybe ignore this post if you’re concerned. Probably the only person who’s going to read this is me five years from now, though, so it’s likely moot.
So! A whole long weekend devoted mostly to my shiny new Nintendo Swtich. I did some other things that did not involve Switch, but those are… less noteworthy. As such, I will now yammer endlessly about how much I like my new games machine.
That’s actually point number one: it’s just a games machine. Like, it doesn’t do anything else. I’m sure that in time it will get an internet browser, but it’s literally just for games now. And I’m generally okay with that. I have seventeen million other machines that do internet. I won’t lie that I briefly found myself wishing that it had a Netflix app. But then I remembered that I could just hit a button on my TV remote to bring up Netflix, and all without interrupting my game. So maybe it’s actually for the best? I don’t know. It’s fine for me personally, but I’m sure that in this day and age, most people would question a piece of technology that only does one thing.
Actually, you can take screenshots and share them to Facebook and/or Twitter. So that’s something. But Miiverse is dead and it seems like you can’t capture video so… what’s the point?
Now, hardware. I don’t know jack about the guts of Switch, or any other computer machine, for that matter. And that’s mostly because I don’t really care. As long as it plays Zelda, I couldn’t care less how many megaflops and jiggabytes it does. What does matter, is that oh my land, that screen looks nice. Being accustomed to the 3DS and Wii U gamepad’s less than ideal screens, the Switch’s screen is a revelation. It’s so sharp and vibrant! Like having a tiny version of my television right in my hands! Sure, my phone has a fairly nice screen, too, but it’s a well-known fact that all phone games are trash.
My favourite thing about Switch though, are the Joy-Cons. I’m still not crazy about the name, but I love the little things. At first touch, I thought they would be unwieldy and cause the worst thumb cramps, but it became apparent after about an hour that Joy-Cons are the video game controller future that I want to live in. I always loved the arm freedom that the Wii remote and nunchuk allowed, and as the Joy-Cons aren’t tethered together, that vision has finally reached its true form. The fact of the matter is that I don’t love Joy-Cons because of their design or buttons or whatever. I love them because I can move my arms independently and freely as I play. I can sit however I feel comfortable, and place my arms wherever I like. It’s perfect! The only downside is that there isn’t a d-pad, which is a pretty huge bummer, as someone who really likes 2D games.
Oh, and also a spare set of Joy-Cons costs a whopping $100 Canadian dollars. YIKES.
The Joy-Cons also work much better than expected in sideways mode. I didn’t believe that they would feel right at all when held that way, but a couple hours of Snipperclips helped to win me over. I’m still not sold that they’ll be great for action games, but for slower-paced little games like that, they’re A-Okay.
So you may have heard that Switch is portable and stuff. Mine is probably going to sit in the dock 98% of the time, but it’s nice to know that if the need arises, I can just pick it up and take it to the toilet with me. I also bought a travel case for the odd time I might take it to work for lunchtime play, but at least for now, my 3DS will remain my portable system. I took Switch on a car ride, which is not advisable if you’re playing a motion-controlled game, because the car’s movement will affect the accelerometers or whatever. Made solving a motion puzzle in Breath of the Wild way harder than it should have been.
Overall, I guess the Switch hardware is cool. While I’m not intending to bring it too many places, I love that it’s got two controllers built in, so that you can get a little multiplayer going anywhere at anytime. Also I really like those controllers. What it really boils down to, if I’m being honest, is that it’s the new Nintendo machine, and I’m always going to buy the new Nintendo machine.
And now the important question: what about the games? I’ve played four of the dozen-or-so launch games, and obviously I’ve put most of my time into Zelda. That’s a huge, wonderful game, and it deserves its own write-up. So let’s briefly look at the other three.
Snipperclips, which I already mentioned, is in my opinion the best launch game to sell the Switch’s unique capabilities. You can play this at home by yourself, but it’s best played with a friend or three, so get ready to bust out those sideways Joy-Cons! This is a cute little puzzle game where every player controls a little paper character, and you have to cut each other up into shapes that can be used to solve a variety of different puzzles. Maybe you have to fit all the characters into an outline, or maybe you simply have to dunk a basketball. One puzzle that my group found particularly taxing had us slowly rolling an egg up a staircase of cutouts that changed as our characters were clipped. It’s tough to describe, but it was one heck of a trial.
1-2-Switch is Nintendo’s big proof-of-concept game for the Joy-Cons, and I really didn’t expect much from it. Then I played it, and had an absolute blast. There are quite a few mini-games on here, and we didn’t play them all, but it seems to be about a 30/70 split between stinkers and good ones. I was surprised that one of my favourite games ended up being “Runway,” in which you strut around and pose like a fashion model. I found it strange that the room’s preferred game was “Eating Contest” because only one person can play at a time, but it was a lot of fun to try to reach for the top score. While it’s a lot of fun and I’m typically of the mind that games have value, I still think that the asking price of $65 Canadabux is a lot for this one.
And lastly, we have my second-most anticipated Switch game, FAST RMX. A high-speed racing game that essentially fills the hole in my heart where F-Zero used to be. Basically no-frills racing, where the only gimmicks are a boost gauge, and the ability to switch colours to take advantage of boosts and jumps on the tracks. So there’s a little bit of strategy involved beyond simply “go real fast.” It seems to be generally the same as Wii U’s FAST Racing NEO, but with more tracks and vehicles. I guess maybe it looks a little better? It’s hard to tell when everything is moving so quickly. Anyway, this proves a great opportunity, because now that I can bring it everywhere and always have two controllers on hand, maybe now I’ll finally be able to get someone to play with me. I mean, there’s online play, but local multiplayer is always more fun.
I also bought Shovel Knight again, which is a little frivolous, but it does have a few extra bells and whistles to justify yet another purchase. Firstly, the new Spectre of Torment campaign won’t be available on any other systems for a month or so, so the early access is nice. There’s also new amiibo functionality in the “Fairy of Shovelry” which doesn’t actually seem to do much besides being adorable and hilarious. And let’s be honest here, I’ll keep buying Shovel Knight forever. It’s my favourite game, why not?
In conclusion, I’m pleased as punch with Switch. So far, it’s mostly just been for Zelda, so in theory I could have just bought the Wii U version of Breath of the Wild and called it a day. But there won’t be a Wii U version of Xenoblade Chronicles 2 or Splatoon 2 or Super Mario Odyssey or Runner 3 (Holy spit! Runner 3! YESSS!). Plus, I’m very curious about the Switch-exclusive multiplayer version of Stardew Valley. They haven’t said a lick about what that even means yet, but I’m certainly excited about it. It’ll be interesting to see how this all rolls out. Word of mouth has been very good for Switch so far, but only time will tell. There is a very solid lineup of games for 2017 already, so hopefully that momentum keeps up and people continue to appreciate the machine. I doubt it could end up any worse than the Wii U, at least.
It’s finally here! The most exciting quinquennial (give or take) occasion: The launch of a new Nintendo Games Machine! Happy Switch Day, everyone!
Betcha didn’t know that word. Quinquennial.
This post was written in advance, because quite frankly I’m going to be upset about and try to avoid having to do anything that’s not Zelda: Breath of the Wild for the next few weeks. Expect few posts in the coming weeks, but maybe some vague impressions on the Switch and/or Zelda over the weekend. Maybe.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to do these introductory blurbs for the Monthend posts. I guess they’re more traditional than anything at this point.
Anyway, thank Zeus that February is finally over. Two more days to Switch!
Resident Evil 7: Biohazard (PS4) – This may be my new jam. Like back in the day when I got really into Silent Hill and then Resident Evil DS, and beat them like a hundred times each. That’s what’s happening here. I’ve beaten it three times now. Currently working on hard mode and DLC.
Drakengard 3 (PS3) – Cleared branches A, B, and C. Played some of the DLC chapters, and got stuck on the intensely hard final boss of branch D.
Citadale (WiiU) – A slightly above-par Castlevania clone that is packed with just enough little annoyances that it comes out looking shoddier than it should. I intend to review it in full.
The Perplexing Orb (WiiU) – Booted it up because I thought it would be good for this article, but then I ended up really enjoying it. Kind of a cheap Monkey Ball wannabe.
Ninja Senki DX (PS4) – Free PS+ game. Lured me in by looking like a Game Boy Color game, but I only got to level 4 before I said “Eff it, I hate this” and deleted it.
Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – February 2017
The Wii U is dead and I’m the only person who liked it.
Okay, maybe not the only person, but some days it sure feels like it. Wii U lived a short and underwhelming life, but it was home to some of the best games that I’ve ever played. Super Mario Maker, Splatoon, Yoshi’s Woolly World, Xenoblade Chronicles X, et cetera, et cetera. It’s also host to some absolute stinkers. Games so bad that no person should ever have to suffer their existence.
Fortunately, these games are squirreled away in the depths of the eShop, where they can be forgotten and die without harming too many with their terribleness. It’s very much opposite the Wii, where there were rows and rows of awful shovelware populating store shelves, tricking naïve parents into buying the absolute worst games for their kids.
As a bit of a last hurrah before the Switch’s launch in a few days, here is a short list of six Wii U eShop games that nobody should ever play. Not that you would. Because you don’t own a Wii U. Jerk.
So why did I buy them, you ask? Either because I thought they may have some legitimate merit to them, or they were on sale for a dollar (give or take) and I figured they’d be good for a laugh. Your job is to figure out which is which!
One week left, baby! I’m losing my dang mind!
I’ve got next Friday off and I’m going for the midnight launch and HNNNNGGGG it’s gonna be so good. The next six days are going to feel so long (except for Saturday and Sunday).
I can’t wait to play Zelda: Breath of the Wild for three days straight. And then forget to go to work on Monday because Zelda.
Really wish I didn’t have to wait so long for Splatoon 2, though.
*Addendum: Just learned that there isn’t actually going to be a midnight launch. Rats.
I don’t know if I’ve ever really gotten into it here, but I am endlessly fascinated by bad video games. I like bad movies, too, but terrible video games are even more delicious. And they’ve got to be real bad. If a game is just mediocre, that’s boring and no fun to dissect. But when you have a game that is consistently making you wonder what the heck the developers were thinking, that’s the real good stuff.
To put it simply, the more of a “complete garbage fire” a game is, the better.
And that’s where The First Skunk Bundle comes in. A $25 eShop game that for some reason went on sale for free a while back, this is a pack of five games that range in quality from passable to, well, complete garbage fire. Let’s have a look-see and break down the contents.
No, wait. First, I feel obliged to mention that the music on the game select screen is a piss-poor piano rendition of Green Day’s “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”. So poor, in fact, that I thought that it was a piss-poor rendition of the Friends theme at first. In retrospect, they do have seem to have a similar melody. Maybe? Am I crazy?
Let’s switch gears for a little while here, and steer the conversation away from you-know-which-game. Just for a while. Today I want to write about something completely different. Something called Glittermitten Grove.
This is a cute little resource management-type game where you help a colony of fairies to build themselves a foresty wonderland. The goal of the game is more or less to simply gather enough food to get your fairies through the winter. It’s pretty easy at first, as you only have like three fairies, and they consume roughly 2 food units a season.
Then things get a little more complicated, as more fairies move in. You’ll have to build more panties to hold more food. Since fairies also tire out over time, you’ll need to build houses for them to sleep in. And of course, you need materials from which to construct these buildings, which brings us to possibly the most interesting part of the game: wood.
As in many other video games, and also real life, wood is harvested from trees. Trees will grow on their own over time, and you can chop of bits and pieces of them to collect wood. Branch size and type of tree will dictate how much wood you actually earn. But you can’t just go cutting everything down all willy-nilly. Nope. Trees are also where all of your buildings are constructed, so you have to strike a careful balance between trimming the trees to gain wood, and keeping them large enough to support your fairy colony.
Light also plays a prominent role. Trees need to get sufficient sunlight to stay alive, and a tree that lives in the shadows for too long will wither and die. Your playfield is also dictated by a different light, which is provided by sight orbs. Everything out of the range of these orbs is covered in an impenetrable fog of war. Sight orbs are built using sparkles, which are collected by placing a prism in a tree and letting it absorb sunlight.
Sparkles also fuel magic, which comes in two varieties. There is the Fertilizer spell, which speeds up the growth of a tree. It’s nice that you can target specific parts of the tree, if you should need to add some weight to one side, or just want to grow out some extra branches to chop. There is also a fireworks spell, which is used to dig underground. There, you can find plenty of neat stuff, like crystals and treasure chests that are loaded with resources. I’ve heard there’s even a big secret under there somewhere…
Glittermitten Grove is a much more robust game than it seems at first glance. Having to balance light, trees, resources, and magic all at once is very engaging and a little challenges. I’ve made it through more than one winter with only two or three food bits left. It’s very nice to play a real-time resource management game after years and years of the stupid mobile and mobile-like games that run on a series of timers.
Also nice is that every fairy has a cute/dumb cliché fairy name, like Lavender Twinklebottom or Sprinkles Honeygrape. It’s fun just to look at them all and see which names make you groan the loudest.
I don’t know when or if the game ends, but I do intend to keep playing for a bit. While the gameplay that I’ve seen is robust enough to hold my interest for a while, it does seem like there should be something else to it. Or maybe you just play until you simply can’t keep up with the influx of fairies. I do have hope that something new will unlock eventually, because the game could certainly stand to offer a surprise or two.
True to my word, I’ve still been deep into Resident Evil 7. I have beaten it three (3) times now, and have started up a fourth run. This run is what I’ve been dreading since the start… the Madhouse run.
“Madhouse” difficulty is RE7’s hard mode. Unlike standard hard modes, it doesn’t just increase the health of monsters and the damage you take. It does those things and more, like shuffling around key items to slightly change how you progress through the game. It locks certain items behind collectibles. It removes almost all checkpoints, and makes you use consumable items to save, just like the REs of yore. There’s probably even more to it, but I’m still stuck on the boss of the first chapter. I spent nearly half an hour last night being killed by her over and over again, each time inching ever closer to victory.
Needless to say, Madhouse is really, really hard. I am terrified of how bad the rest is going to be.
I also began playing some of the “Banned Footage Vol.1” DLC pack. The first “tape” is called Nightmare, and it’s a mini-game that tasks you with surviving several waves of enemies. And it plays out in hours from midnight until dawn, so it kind of feels like RE7’s take on the Five Nights at Freddy’s formula. I ran it twice, and made it to about 4:30 on the second try before I accidentally got backed into a corner and torn to shreds.
The game takes place in the basement of the Baker house, and you have to craft items and weapons from scrap. Scrap is collected from several machines around the area, which will constantly be filling up throughout the run. The game kind of forces you to mix it up too, as every time you craft something, the cost in scrap goes up a little. So you can really only fall back on that shotgun for so long. You can also place turrets and traps throughout the basement, which I definitely need to fit into my strategy better.
The cool thing about it is that even failure moves you closer to getting through the night. You score at the end of every run is added to a running total, and once you hit certain thresholds you’ll unlock some helpful feature. Sometimes it’s an increase to the scrap you start with, sometimes its new things to craft. The final reward, infinite ammo, is placed at a cumulative score of ten million points. By the time you earn that sucker, you’ll probably have gotten good enough to clear the game without it anyway. Probably helpful for the harder Night Terror mode.
I did not play the “Bedroom” mini-game at all. I have no idea what it’s about.
The last bit of DLC is the “Ethan Must Die” mini-game, wherein you’re plopped down in a super-hard remix of the Baker house, with the goal of unlocking the greenhouse and killing the boss there. You start with nothing, and you only find items in crates, which are randomized. When you die, you leave behind a statue that lets you reclaim one (random) item you had been holding. I tried playing once, and found two chem fluids, which left me with only the knife to battle through a gauntlet of Molded. As one might expect, it didn’t go so well.
I think that there’s definitely some appeal here, but it’s going to be a long road. People are finishing the mini-game, but they’re probably people more dedicated than I. If it allowed you to earn upgrades through failure like Nightmare, I may be more inclined to keep playing. However, it’s more like Dark Souls where the upgrades you earn are knowledge of the layout of the house and where all the monsters are placed. From that point on, you’re just hoping that the crates work out in your favour.
Anyway, I think the point here is that I’ve cleared all of the easy stuff in RE7. It’s all expert-level content from here on out. I might have to dial it back to easy mode and complete the 4-hour speedrun to unlock… a thing… that might help the Madhouse run. It’s the only unlockable item that I don’t have yet, so it’s my last chance to soften than extreme difficulty even a bit.
But enough of the blah blah blah. Time to get back to dying playing!
After only a week, Resident Evil 7 is beaten. That was a few days ago now. I haven’t really had a chance to make more words about it until now. Though I don’t know if I really have that many more words about it? I guess we’ll see when we get to the end of this post.
When I last left off, the protagonist of the game, Ethan, has mysteriously vanished and I was now in control of another character aboard a wrecked ship. There was a flashback sequence that played more like a run and gun shooter, but back in reality, the actual ship level is more evenly paced. While it does play like the rest of the game, for whatever reason, the ship level didn’t really grab me. I think maybe it’s just because I kept getting lost. Thinking back on it, there’s nothing really overly wrong with it.
The final stage is… it’s semi-traditional. There’s a secret lab where you learn all the final pieces of the plot, but it’s like two rooms at the bottom of a mine. The entire mine area is a fairly straighforward gauntlet of monsters, which isn’t out of the ordinary for RE, and is actually more of a final boss than the actual final boss. Also, not a single MO disk to be found. I’m okay with that. It’s 2017, after all.
And finally, because being cyclical makes it more impactful, you end up back in the guest house that served as the game’s first chapter. You’re alone and searching for a girl again, and the night has passed into day.
What really separates this game from the rest of the series is that you feel a pang of guilt when you kill the final boss. Make no mistake, it needs to be killed because it is a living weapon that murders people without remorse, but it is a somewhat pitiable entity. It’s not your typical RE crazy person that’s gone and mutated himself in a mad quest for world domination or revenge. Well, I guess Birkin was kind of sympathetic, too. I’d better replay Resident Evil 2 again to make sure.
And yes, you are thrown a weapon and told “use it!” to finish off the final boss. It’s not a rocket launcher, but the spirit of the tradition is present. I am content.
Then, at the very end of this 12-hour game in which I only spotted two teeny-tiny references to previous Resident Evil games, Ethan is airlifted away from the Baker property by none other than Chris Redfield. And he is looking skinnier than ever. And he is riding around in an Umbrella helicopter. What is happening!? I don’t think these really count as spoilers, because they don’t really have any bearing on RE7’s main plot. There is a (free) DLC episode featuring Chris on the way, but otherwise he is merely a way to connect RE7 to the rest of the Resident Evil canon.
Some final thoughts: I love the ambient sounds. The creaking of the houses and random thumps are a great way to get little frights, and they also put you on edge. Was it just a random noise? Or is there an enemy skulking about, ready to spook you?
Speaking of spooking, I am so glad that I didn’t play this in VR. I like being scared, but RE7 would have been way too intense. Plus, 90% of the jumpscares are of the in-your-face-screaming variety that is so popular these days, and I just couldn’t handle that without the reality buffer.
I was a little wary of the game’s new style at first, but it really came into its own once Jack stopped stalking me. Its crazy how much pressure was caused by the fear that Jack could show up to ruin your day at any moment. Looking back, his patrol areas are actually very small, and he won’t even chase you all that far. In the end, he seems to be a lot more menacing than he actually is.
Coming down off the high of finishing the game (I quite enjoyed the credits sequence, BTW), I immediately popped open the Playstation Store and bought the DLC season pass. I was going to do it as soon as I bought the game, but decided to wait just in case I ended up not liking this very different Resident Evil.
The first DLC pack is out and downloaded onto my PS4, but I haven’t played it yet because I started a new game to try for the 4-hour speedrun trophy. Either I am much slower than I thought, or I accidentally left the game running while I left to do something else, because about half an hour in, I noticed that my timer had picked up an extra hour somewhere. Needless to say, the speedrun was doomed. Guess I’ll just have to try again! (Hooray!)
I do not relish the idea of playing the game on Madhouse difficulty. But I’m certainly going to try. I’ll probably unlock all the bonus items first, to ease the burden a little.
And that’s about it, I guess. For now, at least. Look forward to hearing more about this game in the future. I can’t get enough!