Category: /b/

I can’t sleep at night

Let me offer one bit of advice to you: never attept to roll a massive amount of coins by yourself, or in one sitting. It is the most tedious work ever. And it makes your hands smell like pennies and taste like awful.

Yeah, I only got thirty rolls in before I couldn’t take it anymore. And that’s still just a small fraction of the amount of pennies I inherited when young Zachary cleaned out his room. At the very least I was also able to sort out all the nickels and dimes from the pennies, which is satisfying enough for tonight. I still have a big margarine tub worth of pennies to roll, and I’m thinking when I get back to them I’m definitely gonna have to enlist some help.

It sure doesn’t help that it feels like I’m bringing work home with me. I don’t do a ton of coin rolling at work, but it’s still giving me those chills. Blah. And the fifteen dollars I’ve made for myself probably won’t feel quite worth it. But it’s still free money I guess.

Also… I don’t know. I forgot what I really meant to write about tonight. Well, whatever it was couldn’t have been that important. Um, maybe Song Summoner? If you’re out of the loop, Apple has only recently allowed us to use iTunes cards on the app store, and being without a credit card, I’m a little late to the dance on this one. It’s cool though! A simple turn-based strategy game that’s influenced by your music library? I love the concept anyway. The fact that the only way to power up your troops is to listen to the songs you created them with is a little annoying though. I don’t want to be restricted to only a handful of songs! Give me at least a little bonus for listening to a greater variety of tunes!

So yeah, that’s me reaching for a blog post. I sure am boring these days. Next time we talk about… tea! Wait, tea? What?

TE’s Bargain Shop Adventure!

So I was in Lac du Bonnet the other weekend. Not something that’s going to be happening all that often in years to come, even though it used to be a trip the family made many times a year. Me and the girlfriend went to see the Canada Day fireworks display (which had been rained out in July and postponed to August 1st), and it just so happened that her uncle runs the Subway down there, so her whole family was there too.

Before hitting Lac du Bonnet itself, I decided to take her around the surrounding area and show her some places I used to frequent, like the cottage that used to belong to my grandparents, and the legendary Pinawa Burger Boat. It was a long morning/afternoon of adventuring, and we finally headed to Lac du Bonnet and made camp at the Subway. There were still many hours to kill before the fireworks began, so we had to busy ourselves in town. Reading her Cosmo and playing CrossworDS (guess who was doing which) only lasted so long, and we were forced to explore the small town to eat up the rest of our day.

Fortunately, that meant doing my absolute favourite Lac du Bonnet activity: scouring The Bargain Shop for interesting goodies. There’s also a dollar store that’s so generic that I can’t even remember what it’s called, but ever since my brothers and I were tots, I’ve loved prowling that The Bargain Shop. It even moved across the street into a bigger building a few years ago, making room for even more crazy crap. I bought a whole bag full of stuff that day, and all for less than $15! Let’s take a look-see, shall we?

Probably the last thing in the store to catch my eye (the first being shitty Transformers clones with absolutely horrid grammar on the box, sorry for the lack of pictures), but easily the best thing I bought were the Butterfinger Buzzes. They were three for two bucks, and my curiosity was piqued by the allegations that it contained as much caffeine as the leading energy drink, so I dove right in. It bears mentioning that the woman is currently addicted to/dependent on energy drinks, so it was easy to convince her to take one. I like Butterfingers, but I’m not a glutton.

Now, a Butterfinger is pretty good on its own, and the promise that it’s brimming with caffeine is even more enticing, but I was a little turned off by what I found when I opened the wrapper. For whatever reason, “loaded with caffeine” is apparently synonymous with “dyed an unnervingly bright red”. I guess it’s just that I was used to the golden Butterfinger, but the insides of these bars were bright, bright red. Possibly dyed with the blood of a thousand neon children.

In the end though, it was just a Butterfinger. Flamboyant colouring aside, it tasted perfectly normal, and despite promises of giving me the caffeine rush of a lifetime (I ate two!), I felt no more energetic after consuming them. Overall, I’m not disappointed though, because they were cheap and as I’ve stated at least twice by now, I like Butterfingers.

What I’ve never cared for, however, are Hot Tamales. Not sure why, but they just never caught on with me. I love cinnamon hearts, so it’s not the flavour or anything like that. Maybe the chewiness doesn’t mesh with the cinnamon in my head for some reason. Maybe I just don’t see the point of getting a box of Hot Tamales when you could get the far superior Mike and Ikes that are always right beside them. I may never know.

What I did know, however, is that I absolutely had to get the box of Hot Tamales Ice. It makes no sense! It’s so wonderful!

So as you can see from that box shot up there, these are minty flavoured instead of cinnamon, and as far as I’m concerned, are much more enticing. They give off that same cool aura as spearmint leaves, but have the smooth, pill-like texture of Hot Tamales. I don’t know if it was just an old box or that Icy Tamales are naturally hard, but these ones in particular were a bit tougher than your garden variety Hot Tamales/Mike and Ikes. This problem was circumvented when I left the box in my hot car one day and they became soft and more like their forebears.

On the note of this possibly being an old box, I could find no mention of the Ice Tamales on the official website, however it did show me that they’re producing a product that opposes the Ice Tamales even more than the original: Hot Tamales Fire. It is now my lifelong quest to find the Fire version. And then procure another box of the Ice, so that I may put Fire and Ice on display together as my most prized possessions. Sadly, this requires at the very least, a three-hour trip back to Lac du Bonnet. I guess I can just hope that they’re still there next year.

As an end note, I’m still a firm believer that Tropical Typhoon Mike and Ikes are the best of this candy family.

And speaking of tropical things, look at what we’ve got here! It should be known that I’m also a huge fan of Dots, even moreso since I’ve learned that Wal-Mart carries big ol’ boxes of ’em and I don’t have to wait for Halloween for my Dots fix. Even then it was a gamble. Dots always topped my Halloween candy wishlist, even though they’re not even close to being the best candy. You were always guaranteed to get a king’s ransom in Reese peanut butter cups and Tootsie Pops, but Dots, Dots were the rare candy that always made my Halloween.

The Tropical Dots, however, are not my friend anymore. I gave them the benefit of the doubt at first, as they come from good stock, but then I ate one. They come in five flavours, all listed in the image above, and none of them are any good. They all taste vaguely similar, and kinda waxy. The Wild Mango and Paradise Punch stand the best chance of being deemed “acceptable at best”, but I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about what happens to the rest of them. Very, very disappointed here. I’m talking last-episode-of-Seinfeld disappointed.

Also, there’s a math puzzle of some kind on the back of the box. Boo, Tropical Dots! Not only do you taste bland, but you also use your box activity to attack my weak point! Massive damage! I hate Tropical Dots.

To add an extra level of woe to my already melancholy situation, I purchased two boxes of these chewy little abortions in my excitement of seeing a new brand of Dots. Eating two boxes of Tropical Dots does not make one a happy camper. I really hate Tropical Dots.

These suckers are less interesting than most of the other stuff I picked up, and in fact you can easily find them at most dollar shops or Zellers. Usually as a feature item, because they’re two for a buck. These really only made their way into the bag of swag because the girlfriend is totally nuts over suckers. And why shouldn’t she get a good tongue workout? Oh yeah. I went there.

The nice thing about them is that there are a ton of flavours, and most of them are awesome. Root Beer and Banana Split, which I have pictured here, are my favourites. Cherry Cheesecake and -strangely enough- Grape are also worthy competitors. There’s even some kind of margarita flavour, so there’s really something for everyone. I should also mention that they are incredibly tasty and much bigger than the average sucker, so you’re getting a great value with these little guys. If you see a stand next time you’re picking up cheap greeting cards, don’t hesitate to buy a couple.

This big ol’ lolly is both more and less interesting than the previously showcased suckers. It’s more interesting because look at all the colours! Whoo! they swirl so brightly! Also it’s much bigger. But the real amazement lies on the backside of this lollipop…

BAM! It came with a toy! For a dollar!

Yeah, I know it’s the cheapest-ass toy ever made, but still! Little motorcycle dude will reside in my room for possibly weeks or months to come, until I finally get too annoyed with his poor construction. It’s too bad, because despite his small stature and cheap build and training wheels, I really like Moto Dude.

The real tragedy here is actually that big lollipop itself. I’ve had many lollies like this one, in different shapes and sizes, with different colour patterns, and different characters emblazoned on them, but I’ve never had one like this. Not even close. This was hands-down the worst lolly I’ve ever had the displeasure of having in my mouth. Initially it had no taste at all, so I figured it was some kind of shitty coating that caused the lack of flavour, so I sucked some more, and eventually it just started to taste like plastic. The colours weren’t running at all despite the mass amounts of saliva being slathered upon it. I couldn’t even bite the damn thing. I’m beginning to think it was just a prop lollipop packed in as an easy way for whoever made this to sell their shitty little Moto Dudes.

Sadly, I’ve got to be one of the very few suckers ever to fall for it. Pardon the half-pun.

Okay, now this can’t possibly disappoint me, right? A sucker version of a Kinder Surprise? This has gotta be awesome.

But just one thing bothers me; how exactly did they get the toy and giant chup in that egg? Certainly the toy must be held in an egg within the chup, just like a fruity version of a Kinder Surprise. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

What!? It’s just a regular sized chupa with the stupid toy taking up the rest of the space inside that humongous egg? I’m outraged! Mostly.

On the upside, the Chupa Chup is a sucker that you know you can depend on. They will always be good, as they always have, even if they aren’t bloated to an unbelievable size, as the packaging had led me to believe. Seriously, I only bought this because I thought I was getting a ginormous chupa with a toy encased within. If I had known it was a regular chup, I probably wouldn’t have been nearly as excited about it.

To dishearten me even further, the toy included inside was not at all the pencil topper that the various images on the package had promised. I mean, it’s a robot cat, which is cool and all, but Robo-Cat does not top pencils. He doesn’t even try. He just rolls back and forth whilst bobbing his head. Despite the fact that my fat sausage fingers weren’t nearly dexterous enough to assemble Robo-Cat without an hour-long fight, I’ve become quite attached to the little guy. He now sits atop my Wii with Moto Dude. I give them about a week before my dog eats one of them, having caught the scent of facetious suckers on them. I do not relish the thought of having to hold a tiny funeral for the tiny, unfortunate soul.

And that’s what I got. It may seem like I got taken to the cleaners for spending just under $15 on this mostly disappointing junk, but you’ve gotta remember that that comes out to over 130 words per dollar, so it more than evens out on a penny-to-word ratio. If I hadn’t written this completely pointless article, then the only thing I’d have had to walk away with was the enjoyment I got from the few candies that were good. Also a Robo-Cat. And that’s more than enough to satisfy me. Case closed.

TE Hits the Road: Fargo ’09

Hi all! Yeah, it’s yet another article about the once-again yearly trip I take down to Fargo/Grand Forks. I say once-again because there was a stretch in there for a few years where we didn’t go at all, but for the last three years, it’s been an essential part of summer. The only difference is that now, instead of going down with my family, it’s me and the woman. There are pros and cons for both parties, but I don’t really care who I go with. The Fargo/Grand Forks trip is the only summer staple I still have left, so I’m holding onto it as tight as I can.

That aside, I’ve decided that this year I’m just going to mash up all the pictures I took instead of trying to do anything more inspired with them. No categories, no long-winded stories, no character commentary. Nope. Just going to put them on the page and make some quick notes where I deem necessary.

Also there are tons of pictures,. Enjoy 😉

This is a cake. This is what Stephanie and I ate for breakfast. Actually I had a bowl of Reese Puffs cereal beforehand because she was taking a really long time to get to my house. But yeah, cake for breakfast. Woo!

We struck a deal before we left that she would drive there, and I would drive home. I wasn’t told until we’d arrived at the hotel, but apparently I had been voted to drive everywhere while we were in Fargo.

GPS. Lifesaver.

I bought a huge jawbreaker on a stick at the Duty-Free. It’s been ages since I’d had one of these bad boys, and I felt it was absolutely necessary. My mission was to finish it by the time we got home. I did one better and finished it before we were even back in Canada. The passport is there for scale.

She opted for the jawbreaker’s smaller cousin, the cherry Jelly Belly sucker.

I think I might have had a better chance of getting in here when I used to come down with my family. The girlfriend seems wholly opposed to entering a restaurant so garishly decorated. But we went to TGI Friday’s, so I don’t know. Maybe she’s got a fear of aliens?

I feel it’s important to mention that I used that baby pool to its full extent.

Our facilities. This is the most interesting photo ever.

Aah! Too much sunlight!

“Take one of me on the couch!”

“Now take one of me on the bed!”

See? TGI Friday’s. Hard on the eyes though it my be, no trip to the United States is complete without a stop in either here or Chili’s. I wish Canadian chains or those that extended into Canada knew how to make such wonderful fries.

Dear God! Six years with this camera and still I take blurry pictures! I’m a horribly lazy photographer.

So good.

Also awesome, but far less new to me.

For years, I’ve refused to believe that this DVD exists. Well ,outside Amazon, anyway. But I found it! I really found it! Now I can’t say Hot Topic never did anything for me.

More crap I bought. Teenage Zombies was ten bucks, and the rest I consider to be things absolutely essential for me to own. I was hunting Friday the 13th and American Dad Vol 4, but Ghostbusters Vol 1 came out of nowhere and made me the happiest girl in the world.

Like the trip to Fargo itself, no summer is complete without a small tub of Americone Dream.

TGI Friday’s was having a two-for-one burger day, and I had ordered a burger for dinner, so they gave me this second one to take home. I ate it that night and forcefully regretted eating two giant cheese-slathered burgers in one night. A task a younger me would ahve faced with aplomb.

The main dresser on our first morning. It’s covered in crap we bought and other such things. The Playstation 2 is there because I hate overpaying for movies I don’t really want to watch and every time I bring my DVD player I forget the remote.

Seriously. You’d think I would know how to take a not-blurry picture by now.

I usually grab a jug of Hawaiian puch on my southernly adventures, only this time I picked the “light” version. Trying to watch those calories…

West Acres mall. It’s huge, and wonderful. It’s probably the best mall ever. It’s not a lot better than Winnipeg’s biggest mall, but I only get to go there like once a year and I don’t get bored of it. Also I looooove Mrs. Fields’ cookies.

We went to the Lone Star Texas Grill on our second night. We’d never been there, but were pleasantly surprised. The steak I had was excellent (especially since I hadn’t had a steak for several weeks at that point), and there was a pail of peanuts on the table to keep me busy while we were waiting for the food to come.

That evening we ventured over into downtown Fargo, and on our way back, we ended up accidentally driving through some sort of classic car show-off night. Don’t know for sure what was going down, but we took a bunch of pictures.

I used the Fargo onion to determine that we were going the right way on the way back into the hotel/shopping part of the city.

I guess it’s just out of habit that I keep taking pictures of the Fargo TRU. We didn’t go in this year, but it looked just as sad as ever on the outside.

All packed up! I don’t subscribe to Nintendo Power anymore, but I felt like picking up an issue for old time’s sake. This one was the perfect candidate, because the only things I really want to read about are the new Mario & Luigi game and Wii Sports Resort.

This is how many towels we used over the course of two days.

I’m going to miss that wonderful continental breakfast buffet. It’s really the highlight of all my best hotel stays.

On our way home we stopped in Grand Forks to investigate the Columbia Mall among other shops. It’s just as boring as ever, if not moreso because they don’t even have the cookie place in the food court anymore.

Evidence that she does eat.

There was a completely random mailbox on the side of the road nearl Kohl’s. I felt that I should capture its soul incase it disappears between now and next year.

This makeup is all blurry! Let’s go somewhere else.

I bought these movies at Best Buy. Zombie Strippers is pretty hilarious, Zombie Diaries was disturbing, and Trailer Park of Terror-though I expected the most from it-was merely okay.

No, I did not buy Friady the 13th twice. I don’t know how it got into this picture. On the other hand, Jason X was five bucks and was the last missing piece in my collection, and the Elm Street four-pack was $10 and completed its own collection. Mallrats I couldn’t understand why I didn’t already own.

We hit Rock 30 games on the second night, and I picked these up there. I have no idea why in God’s name I had sold Donkey Kong, as it is one of the greatest original Game Boy games ever, and FF8 I own on PC, but would rather play through my PS2. I will not say how much I paid for either of these items. I will say that one was just a little more expensive than it should have been, and the other was hideously overpriced. I’ll let you come to your own conclusions.

And that’s pretty much it. Following in the general spirit of this “article”, I really don’t have much more to wrap up with, so I’ll leave it at that.

~FIN

I am a consumer whore

Despite my on-again off-again relationship with Street Fighter IV, I noticed we had gotten in the action figure line on Monday. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

I somehow managed to fend off my need to buy the new line of Super Mario toys, so why in God’s name did I break down and snap up Ken and Ryu here? I guess that’s kind of a rhetorical question, because I really don’t know the answer.

Besides the fact that I’ve fallen off the “I’m too old to buy toys” wagon (it was just a matter of when), they’re actually pretty cool toys. Well, in my case, decorations. If I could play with them, you know I would, but I’ve long since lost the childlike mindset that one needs to actually have fun and play with toys. They’ve got like a million points of articulation, down to the toes, and are super-poseable. The downside being that most of the joints are very sticky and don’t want to move. I had plans for a hadoken pose for Ruy and something a little more actiony for Ken, but very important joints for those kinds of poses didn’t feel like bending to my will, so we get half-hearted standing poses. Oh well. At least they still look really cool.

There are actually three figures in the set, Crimson Viper being the one not pictured. I didn’t buy her because a) I don’t really care for her and b) because we didn’t have one. Already I can feel the pains of having an incomplete set gnawing at my brain. I don’t know. I think I’ll probably break down at some point (likely today), but that will make things worse, because then if we ever get in later series of these figures, we all know that I’ll have to catch them all. I mean buy them all. And my girlfriend was already looking at me kind of funny when I brought home only two. Imagine what would happen if Blanka and Rufus were to take up residence on my dresser. Oh my…

Photo fun

You know what I really love? Facebook. For one, it’s actually rekindled my sense of friendship. It’s not like MySpace was, where all I’d ever do was change my profile song. I’m actually posting on people’s walls and pictures, and even playing Oregon Trail online! Oregon friggin’ Trail! I’ve been kind of down on people for the last however long, but as of late, I’ve found that I’ve become much more comfortable around people on the whole, and I credit this development entirely to Facebook, for giving me an easy way to dip my toes into the waters of socialization.

But even better than that, it’s a place where I can post the most inane photos of myself and people can’t help but see them! Yeah, I can put up all the pictures I want here, but like three people will ever see any. Facebook pretty much forces them on others. Take the moustache picture I posted a while back, for example:

Totally hilarious, and people actually brought it up in not-internet conversation. It’s hard to come up with gold like that, but I’m thinking that my Facebook page will now play host to a gallery of humorous pictures of myself, along with the ones that are there simply to please my vanity. Now it’s just going to be a challenge figuring out things that will be just as or more funny than that picture up there.