Pokémon Legends: Z-A (Switch2) – While it doesn’t quite reach the heights of Legends: Arceus, it was clearly going in a very different direction from the start. Not outstanding, but I had a lot of fun playing it! And will keep playing through the postgame and DLC expansion.
Ramona (PC) – What I’ve been calling an “escape house” game, this is the most recent Doesn’t Matter Games release, and it doesn’t disappoint. A creepy house full of puzzles and jumpscares? Sign me up!
Kromaia (PC) – A neat 3D space-shooter game that’s as dizzying as it is impossible to see what’s going on. While I could see myself playing it through in leaner times, there are so many other games I’d rather spend my time on. So I beat the first level and then tossed it on the “not really feeling it” pile.
The Trees Holding Heaven (PC) – A teeny-tiny “horror” game, which is mostly just a parable about not disposing of science water in the forest. It did legitimately cause me to scream, so that’s a thing.
Ramona – Play With Me demo (PC) – You ought to know how I feel about Doesn’t Matter Games by now. This is the demo for an upcoming title. It’s… exactly what you’d expect if you’re familiar with the developer. I liked it!
The Moth Inside Me (PC) – A horror game made for the “2024 LSD Game Jam”, which should tell you all you need to know. Great atmosphere, and some parts definitely resonated with me. While I think it was often a little too hard to figure out what to do next, I did enjoy it overall.
A great surprise to everyone -mostly myself,- I’m back with another couple of vaguely seasonally-appropriate movies to talk about! And when I say “vaguely” I really mean it. I really ought to just throw on a Friday the 13th at some point just to get a little of the Halloween spirit going in my place.
The Endless
While Tubi lists The Endless as Sci-Fi/Horror/Mystery/Thriller, I would at least re-order those so that they go Mystery/Sci-Fi/Thriller/Horror, which is the most appropriate order. At most, I’d probably just pluck Horror out of there altogether. Yes, there is a certain cosmic horror element to the movie, but it’s really not the focus in any capacity.
This film follows two brothers, Justin and Aaron, who are living a bit of a rough life ten years after having escaped from a “UFO death cult.” Justin, the elder brother, feels like it’s his responsibility to take care of the both of them (despite them being at least in their mid-twenties), while Aaron longs to return to the cushy life that the cult had provided them. When he receives a random cassette tape from the cult announcing that they’re about to “ascend”, it spurs them to make a return visit to say their goodbyes, and maybe to show Aaron that it’s not as wonderful as he remembers it being.
Once they arrive, things do seem fairly peaceful, and the cult welcomes the brothers back with open arms, despite Justin having told many nasty tales to the media about what goes on there. The cult members all have their own eccentricities, but they’re happy, living simple lives where they’re free to pursue their passions and ignore the troubles of the modern world. Aaron is immediately enamored, but Justin remains skeptical, feeling that things are just a little too peaceful, and that there’s something rather important that the cult is keeping from them.
It’s that time again. Halloween is coming and as a fan of horreur, I have to up my movie-watching game. Well, I suppose I don’t have to. But it’s basically all I do for the season any more so… I don’t really know where I was going with this thought. Let’s just do the thing.
V/H/S/94
This is an anthology film, for all the good and bad that entails. In addition to the four short films that are featured in it, the framing device also has its own story. It’s about a SWAT team that busts into a warehouse to… I don’t really know what they were up to, but they find a bunch of corpses and mannequins and screens that lead into the other segments. This was by far the weakest part of the film, and honestly I would have been happier if there had just been a Crypt Keeper-style host that introduced each segment. Points for having each of the short films tie into the framing device, but it was still lame and had the worst actors by a country mile.
This first short follows a news reporter and her cameraman as they investigate a local legend of a sewer-dwelling creature known as the Ratman. It starts off with your average interviews of random townsfolk, but then the big boss demands that they actually go into the sewer to get the real story. Our heroes reluctantly comply, entering a storm drain where they find a dirty old homeless man. He creeps them the heck out, and as they run away, they’re knocked unconscious and, well, things take a bit of a turn from there. I can’t say I saw what happened next coming, and it’s definitely a much better ending to the story than if they’d just found a monster and got mauled by it. While this was the most surprising story in the anthology, I wasn’t totally sold. The whole climax was shaky-cammed to Hell and while I know that often the scariest things are what you don’t see, the obfuscation was very clearly there because they didn’t have any money to actually put the action on screen.
Friends, Romans, countrymen – Spooktober is here! Well, it got here yesterday but I can’t embed videos until they’re live, so I had to do this post today, and, yeah…
Anyway, with the month of October comes a full slate of horror (or at least horror-adjacent) let’s plays over on TE Video. I mean, nobody’s going to watch any of it, but I’m excited! And that’s all that counts.
It all kicks off today, with an older game from TurnVex called Within Skerry. I’ve played most of TurnVex’s games, and they’re generally decent. Unfortunately, this one includes a mechanic that requires you to take dozens of photos of split-second events to unlock the best(?) ending, so I didn’t get that one.
https://youtu.be/FuFew3OUh-4
I’m not going to type out everything that’s scheduled to go up during the month because I’m kind of over doing that, but rest assured that there are plenty of thrills, chills, and spills to come over the course of the month!
The Lancaster Leak (PC) – This is actually a trilogy of 20-30 minute games. An anthology that tells three different stories, each in a different style, and with an overarching plot thread that connects them all. Looking forward to more!
Kirby and the Forgotten Land + Star-Crossed World (Switch2) – I’ve been wanting to replay this game ever since I finished it, and the new DLC was more than enough reason to do so. Still the best Kirby game, and now there’s even more of it.
Replay (PC) – A 7-minute-long indie horror where you play as a person playing a haunted video game. Gave off FNAF vibes despite not being anything like FNAF, and left me wanting more.
Donkey Kong Bananza (Switch2) – I expected to enjoy this game, but I never expected it to be one of the best games of the year. It’s Super Mario Odyssey 2 in a lot of ways, with a little Banjo-Kazooie and Minecraft sprinkled on for flavour. And the ending? This might have the most perfect final hours of a video game ever.
Under the Waves (PC) – A swimming simulator where you help a man overcome his grief (or not). It’s kind of like Firewatch by way of Subnautica, but also not as good as Firewatch because it’s like twice as long and a lot of the “gameplay” is really tedious valve-turning. I liked it, but could have liked it a lot more.
Christmas Night (PC) – Look, I like to have my let’s plays recorded months in advance, okay? This is a very basic haunted house kind of game with a little bit of stealth thrown in. Nothing special or ambitious, but it was free.
The other night I watched a movie called Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead. I don’t think another movie has ever had a title that is so descriptive of its quality.
For real, I don’t even want to type out a full-on review for this one it was so bad. Here’s a synopsis: Mutant tapeworms are turning people into zombies. But before you turn, you suffer from really intense gas. For some reason there’s a focus on poop. The main character’s big trauma is that she’s afraid to fart in front of other people, and then at the end of the movie, she is able to fly around and battle the queen tapeworm using her farts as jet propulsion.
It may have been the absolute stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. If only I’d heeded the trailer’s advice not to watch it in the first place!
The funny thing is, after watching it, I couldn’t bring myself to give it a thumbs-down rating on Tubi, because I’m fairly sure that it accomplished exactly what it set out to do. It’s not trying to be a legitimate film. It’s not even trying to be a good horror comedy. I’m convinced that the director (Noboru Iguchi) had the goal of making the stupidest movie of all time.
The other funny thing is that I’ve actually watched a couple of the director’s other movies, The Machine Girl and Robo-Geisha. Now, I watched those well over a decade ago, so my memory is hazy at best, but I don’t recall hating them. I no longer have the DVDs, so they clearly weren’t good enough to keep. And that was the era of my life were I was deeply into the cheesiest movies going, so they may have also been terrible and that was just my taste at the time. But we’ll never know!
On a more positive note, I also watched a movie called Monster Island on Shudder recently. Sadly, it is not based on the David Wellington novel of the same name, because I love that novel and would like nothing more than to see it be made into a (good) movie. It’s really more of a re-imagining of Creature from the Black Lagoon, and I liked it! The problem is, there’s just not that much to it. It felt like it was over just as it was getting started. So I don’t think there’s all that much for me say about it, other than I really liked how it’s a 2024 movie but the creature was a dude in a rubber suit. Felt so comfy. I would for sure recommend this one.
Gestalt: Steam & Cinder (PC) – A totally average metroidvania. The gameplay is solid and the world design is good, but the unlockable skills are largely useless and the story is waaaaaay too wordy. Also the ending is poo.
Deltarune (Switch2) – It’s absolutely wild that somehow each chapter manages to be better and more mind-bending than the last. I guess that what happens when there are years of development between them. Hopefully the rest of the chapters are released in my lifetime!
Five Nights at Freddy’s: Secret of the Mimic (PS5) – A complete 180 from the unfinished mess that was Security Breach, I thought this game was genuinely really good. It’s a ton of fun, has plenty of variety, didn’t crash once, and has a plot that you could clearly follow from start to finish. Great success!
Ys Memoire: The Oath in Felghana (Switch) – Did I need this remaster? No, not really. But I did need the arranged music CD that came with the special edition. And I had fun (let’s) playing it again, so it worked out in the end.
The Deadseat (PC) – I bought this because the three seconds of footage I saw on the Steam page looked exactly like something I would want. Little did I know that it’s Five Nights at Freddy’s, but in a car. Also, dark as heck and I quite enjoyed it.
It’s Just a Prank (PC) – This game is even darker than the last, but far too grounded and I did not enjoy it. I need a pretty thick level of abstraction to be able to stomach the themes present in this one.
