2018 Video Games Statistics Bonanza!

It’s that time of year again, where I spend a bunch of words reflecting on the previous year. Mostly in the form of what video games I played in said year. Also, there’s a bunch of statistics in this post! Whoo, statistics!

First, let’s take a look at how many games came into my possession throughout 2018. The grand total adds up to a whopping… 102. Wait, really? That seems low. *checks spreadsheet again* Yeah, it’s 102. Slightly more if you break up games like Mega Man X Legacy Collection into their component parts. But for the sake of keeping the total number lower, I’m going to classify any collections that all exist as the same piece of software as a single game. I was hoping to keep it under 100, but then Xmas hit and between gifted eShop cards and lots of games on sale… Maybe next year!

To break that number down further, only 57 of those games were actually paid for. No, I didn’t steal/pirate any of them. The other 45 games that I tracked at a cost of zero were either legitimately free, given to me as a gift, purchased with money I received as a gift, or games that were free through PS Plus. It’ll be a shame to lose those last ones when I stop subscribing, but between the ones I played and the dozens of online hours I logged in Monster Hunter World, that $70 annual subscription was absolutely worth it.

As an aside, I only got eleven games on disc/cartridge last year. It seemed like a surprisingly low number to me at first, but the percentage (11%) is actually on par with those of 2017 and 2016 (13% and 8%). I guess I’m a digital kind of guy after all!

What really brought my total games number down is that I only bought one bundle of Steam games last year, which was a Leisure Suit Larry bundle for $5. I’d say it was worth it. Although I haven’t made time to play any of them yet… I also only paid for DLC for a single game in 2018, and that was the Fighters Pass for Super Smash Bros Ultimate, which was an absolutely necessary expense.

On the less responsible side of things, I purchased exactly five games that I already own. You know, that’s actually not too bad! (Last year it was a staggering 18!) But I’d credit that restraint entirely to the fact that Nintendo and Sony have more or less stopped re-releasing their classic games on current consoles. Virtual Console and PS1 Classics are dead, and so less of my money goes towards re-buying the same games over and over again. I was never not going to buy Dark Souls Remastered on Switch, though. Pretty sure I would have died without a copy of Dark Souls I can play anywhere.

As far as per-system numbers go, here’s the breakdown: Switch obviously has a massive lead with 46 games, and PS4 with a respectable second place at 31 games. PC rolls into third with a more humble 16. 3DS, PS3 and iOS have a three-way tie for last place with a meager three games each.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: let’s find out exactly how worthwhile it was to amass all of these video games! In numerical terms, anyway. I played some real stinkers last  year, so quality is not a factor.

I played… an impressive 66 of the games I got in 2018. That’s 65%! Not a bad number at all! But it may be slightly misleading, because it’s just counting any game that I booted up at least once. There are at least a few on there that I played one short session of and never got around to coming back to. For example: Space Dave!, which is a really cool game, but I guarantee that I’ve spent less than 5 minutes total with it. 

Of those 66 games, I beat 42 of them, which gives us a nice, healthy 41%. “Beaten” means that I’ve played a game all the way through to the end. “The end” generally meaning that I got to the point where the credits rolled, or the game gave me a congratulatory message, or something like that. The point where the game made it clear that I was free to stop playing it and wouldn’t lose any sleep at night over unfinished business.

More nebulous is the “finished” category, which rolls in at 36 games, or 35%. Finished can mean all sorts of things. Sometimes it’s because the game has no ending and I decided to stop playing it. Sometimes it’s because the game was not to my liking and I decided to stop playing it. Sometimes it’s because there was so much more game to enjoy even after the ending, and I continued to play until I’d had my fill. Sometimes beaten and finished are exactly the same thing! In any case, it basically just means that I made the decision that I was done with a game.

And because no discussion of statistics would be complete without a chart full of numbers… here’s a chart! It’s full of numbers! (Keeping in mind that the 2016/2017 played/beaten/finished numbers have continued to update through 2018.)

2018 2017 2016
Games Obtained 102 148 184
Purchased 57 122 171
Free/Gifted/Etc. 45 26 13
Games Played 66 (65%) 88 (59%) 83 (45%)
Games Beaten 42 (41%) 50 (34%) 48 (26%)
Games Finished 36 (35%) 45 (30%) 50 (27%)
Switch 46 36 0
PS4 31 33 17
3DS 3 15 30
PC / Steam 16 40 86
Other 6 24 51

Full List of Games Beaten in 2018

2018 Releases

  • Monster Hunter World
  • Kirby Star Allies
  • Part-Time UFO
  • Into the Breach
  • Agatha Knife
  • Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon
  • Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn
  • The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit
  • The Messenger
  • Mega Man 11
  • Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate
  • Picross S2
  • Kemono Friends Picross
  • Hollow
  • Slayaway Camp: Butcher’s Cut
  • WarioWare Gold
  • Marvel’s Spider-Man
  • Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna ~ The Golden Country
  • MechaNika
  • Pokémon: Let’s Go, Pikachu!
  • Super Smash Bros Ultimate
  • Iconoclasts
  • GRIS
  • The Missing: JJ Macfield and the Island of Memories

Previous year releases

  • Xenoblade Chronicles 2
  • Rhythm Thief and the Emperor’s Treasure
  • Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls
  • Mr Pumpkin Adventure
  • Uncanny Valley
  • RIME
  • Thimbleweed Park
  • Knack
  • Shantae Half-Genie Hero: Pirate Queen’s Quest
  • The Count Lucanor
  • Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
  • Horizon: Zero Dawn
  • Beyond: Two Souls
  • Fran Bow
  • I Am Setsuna
  • Tales of Berseria
  • Heavy Rain
  • Batman: The Telltale Series
  • Final Fantasy XV
  • Mega Man X7
  • The Silver Case
  • Bayonetta
  • Metal Gear Solid V: The Pahntom Pain
  • Burly Men at Sea

Replays

  • Mega Man X
  • Super Mario RPG
  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
  • Yoshi’s Island
  • Mega Man 4
  • Mega Man 10
  • Mega Man 8
  • Mega Man 5
  • Mega Man
  • Mega Man 7
  • Mega Man 2
  • Mega Man 3
  • Mega Man X2
  • Mega Man X3
  • Mega Man X4
  • Mega Man X5
  • Mega Man X6
  • The Legend of Zelda
  • Mega Man X8
  • Mega Man 9
  • Mega Man 6
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

TE’s Top Ten Video Games of 2018

The unthinkable has happened: I’m changing the format of my Game of the Year feature.

In previous years, I’ve always used the caveat “best games I beat in 20XX” as a way to extend my list beyond games released that calendar year. But in 2018, I actually played enough Very Good Video Games released in 2018 that I could make up a top ten (and more!) without extending beyond that time frame. This is a very poor paragraph, I think.

The point is, there were a lot of great games released in 2018, and it took me for-gosh-darned-ever to come up with this list. In fact, I had so much trouble even picking a top ten that I’ve decided not to number them. They’re all spectacular in one way or another, and it may be important to notice that six of them are 2D platformers. Just saying.

HOWEVER! I have maintained the rule that I must have beaten the game for it to qualify. Rest assured that Octopath Traveler and Dragon Quest XI would absolutely be included if I were to relax that particular rule.

That said, I now present to you, in no particular order, TE’s Top Ten Video Games of 2018!

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 – Torna: The Golden Country

I didn’t include Xenoblade Chronicles 2 on my 2017 GOTY list because I didn’t finish it in that year. I figured it would be a shoe-in for a spot on the 2018 list. But then I changed the format, and you’ll never know how much I enjoyed playing that game (Spoiler: LOTS).

Its expansion, however, did come out in 2018, and boy howdy did I ever play the heck out of it! Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna – The Golden Country is a prequel to the main game, set 500 (500?) years prior. This is a stand-alone adventure that takes everything that was great about XC2 and somehow makes it even better. The story is a little more grounded and personal, finishing with a spectacular finale and the longest ending of anything ever. The combat has been tweaked to be a little more engaging and streamlined. The sidequest log has been reimagined as a fun “fan club” of sorts for your party, to make doing those (requisite) sidequests feel more important. Most importantly, it’s a JRPG that takes only about 25 hours to finish, and that’s if you wring every little bit of gameplay out of it like I did. Fantastic game, and I’d love to see Monolith Soft do another smaller game like this.

The Messenger

What more can I say about The Messenger that I haven’t already? I typed up a massive review right after finishing it because I was smitten, and all those feelings are still applicable.

For the TLDR crowd, The Messenger is a retraux 2D platformer that takes inspiration from a plethora of classic games and mashes them all together in a neat, little package. While it starts out as a linear, level-based game where you play a ninja on a world-saving mission, eventually it opens up and allows you to freely explore the entire game world. I greatly enjoy the formula here, but what really makes it click is how tight the controls are. I can’t get over just how perfect it feels to play, and how you eventually get to feel like you’re actually a ninja – bouncing, grappling, and gliding across stages with style and ease. The Messenger is perfectly catered to my tastes in video games, and has earned a solid place as one of my favourite games of all time. Also the soundtrack is mmmmmmmmmm good.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Part of my rationale for not numbering my list this year is because no matter what else happened, Super Smash Bros Ultimate would land at number one. And even though it was largely because of my personal bias, I felt that was unfair to all the other excellent games.

What do you want me to say? It’s Smash! And it’s better than it has ever been! Ultimate addresses pretty much all of my complaints with Smash 4: Classic Mode is (mostly) great again! There’s a huge, wonderful Adventure Mode! Snake and Wolf are back! …That was about it, actually. Ultimate has a lot of content to keep me playing Smash without the need for friends, and that’s what I wanted most. Quite frankly, it’s just nice to finally have a Smash on Switch. It was annoying to have to go back to Wii U when I needed a fix. Plus, being able to take it on the go is nice. Playing with a single Joy-Con actually isn’t all that bad a trade-off for always being able to get in some two-player action.

Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon

Again, this is a game that resonated so well with me that I wrote a full review immediately after finishing it. You can go ahead and follow this link to read that if you so desire, or you can just go with the paragraph below to get the gist of it

Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon is another retraux throwback game, but this one is a direct homage to Castlevania III specifically, rather than classic games as a whole. The gameplay is basically exactly the same as an NES ‘Vania, and you have a party of four characters that are recruited along the way, each of which has different abilities and can be swapped in at any time. I know it makes me sound like a wuss, but one of the things I like most about this game is that it isn’t excruciatingly difficult. It’s not easy by any stretch, but I was able to beat it without liberal use of cheats or savestates. So that’s something. Oh, and of course I had a great time along the way. It’s a fun, colourful action game that really emphasizes all the best things about the classic Castlevania games.

Mega Man 11

Mega Man 11 is plagued by one of those things that really makes me angry at nerds. People who call it bad because “it’s not the same as the NES games” need a firm kick in the teeth. MM11 is a solid game, and shouldn’t be condemned for having its own identity.

But that’s enough bad vibes from me. This is supposed to be an overwhelmingly positive listicle! And wouldn’t you know it, I wrote a full review for this game as well! Only… I haven’t actually gotten around to proofreading and posting it yet. Coming soon! To start rattling off some of the key points, Mega Man 11 does a great job of making the series feel a little more modern. It has a wonderful, cartoony visual style (but less cartoony than Mega Man Powered Up!), the controls are rock solid, and the new cast of robot masters are some of the best and most charismatic in the series. The new “double gear” system adds an interesting new wrinkle to otherwise familiar gameplay, and Rush’s coil and jet modes are mapped to their own buttons! Horray! It’s not the best Mega Man game of all time or anything, but I had a darn good time playing it, and look forward to the inevitable release of MM12.

Spider-Man

Spider-Man has always been my favourite super hero. There’s never been any competiton. Despite that, I’ve skipped pretty much every Spider-Man video game since… Spider-Man 2 on GameCube, I guess? Seems like they’ve all been varying levels of Bad since then.

That all changed in 2018. The newest Spider-Man game, simply titled Spider-Man, was pretty much spot-on as far as what you need to do to make a good game featuring everyone’s favourite wall-crawler. You’ve probably heard people raving about how much fun it is to simply swing around New York, and they’re right! It’s great! That sense of freedom is nearly intoxicating, and 100% of the reason I never used the game’s fast-travel system. The combat is just about as good; while it can be mercilessly difficult, once you really get a handle on it, it flows so very nicely. It seems like many reviewers knocked the forced stealth missions where you have to play as Mary-Jane or Miles, but to be fair, they add some needed variety to the swing-fight-swing-fight formula. It’s also relatively brief for an open-world game; I think I clocked around 20 hours to get my platinum trophy. Excelsior!

GRIS

While I can appreciate “art” games from a distance, it’s not all that often that one actually clicks with me. There has to be something very special about it, and telling a story without words or taking the player on an emotional rollercoaster are not enough.

This is where GRIS comes in. GRIS does both of those things, and it does them well. It also does some platforming, though to a much higher degree than most art games. You have vanishing platforms, a swimming level (that’s actually really good), a level where you invert gravity… all the platformer mainstays, and some other stuff too. It’s pretty fun, and there are even extra collectibles hidden behind the more intense sections. But what GRIS does best is look good. GRIS is so friggin’ pretty, and looks like no other game I’ve seen. Perhaps at a glance, it might resemble other art games, but when you truly look at the watercolor style and the way that it moves, and how fluidly the main character is animated, you lose yourself in it. I don’t know that I’ll actually play GRIS again, but I saved a bunch of screenshots on my Switch, and I often find myself looking at them just to admire how beautiful this game is.

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate

One of the greatest tragedies of human history is that I couldn’t include Monster Hunter World on this list of video games I really like. While it makes Monster Hunter better by adding roughly a million cool quality-of-life improvements, the overall feel didn’t quite gel with me.

And that’s why I have a Switch port of a 2016 3DS game on the list. To be honest, when I started playing Monster Hunter Generation Ultimate, I longed for all the little things that MHW did better, but as I got back into the groove, I realized that this is what I truly wanted. It’s a little more than a port though, as it adds several truckloads worth of new content to the original Monster Hunter Generations, including Valstrax, which is one of the coolest and most deadly creatures in the series. A silver dragon with jet engines on its wings. So cool! Plus, it adds the much-needed feature of playing on the TV to a previously portable-only game. MHW is excellent and I played it a ton, but I’d estimate that I put at least three times as many hours into MHGU, a game that I had technically already played for over 200 hours. …I don’t have a problem…

Kirby Star Allies

There are sometimes things in life that really don’t make sense, things that defy all logic and end up being the exact opposite of what anyone would expect them to be. But that’s a somewhat pessimistic way of looking at Kirby Star Allies.

The newest Kirby game is, by all intents and purposes, the same as the last three main series Kirby games. Oh, sure, it has a neat little helper system reminiscent of the best Kirby game of them all, but on the surface, it’s a stock-standard sequel. But there are also a ton of cool little things that make it unique. I wrote a massive article about some of them. And then you take a closer look and realize that very few games are made with such pure love for their franchise. While it’s not tagged as a special “Xtieth Anniversary” release, Kirby Star Allies is a loving celebration of Kirby’s long and prolific history. It’s a beautiful, creative game that spares no expense in being the best that it can be. Also, you get to play as Marx for the first time ever, which basically makes it my favourite game of all time.

Chasm

These days, the indie games scene basically works in two genres: roguelikes, which I can’t stand, and Metroidvanias, which I have gotten a bit sick of. Not for the sake of there being too many, but rather because I find it very hard to find any that click with me like their namesakes.

And that’s where Chasm comes in. Chasm, to put it bluntly, strives to emulate the basic feel of the exploration-based Castlevania games. And I think it does a splendid job of that! Playing it often brought back fond memories of playing through the GBA ‘Vanias. But it also does more! Like how the maps are partially randomly-generated to keep replays interesting. Or the very satisfying subquest of having to save all the town’s residents to re-open their shops or get helpful rewards. I’ve already played through it twice, and think that’s saying a lot in a world where it seems like the time that I spend playing video games is continually dwindling.

Hororable Mention:

Metal Gear Solid V

Alright, so, I have to make an exception. Because Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain is probably one of my favourite games of all time. It deserves a blurb. Yes, it’s very obviously unfinished and can be very rough around the edges, but I don’t think I’ve ever played something that satisfies me so completely. You are constantly unlocking new toys to play with, there are billions of options for how to handle any given situation, a grinding loop that’s weirdly addictive, and an asynchronous multiplayer mode that simultaneously drives me batty and makes me want to excel at it. Easily one of the best games that I’ve played this year, and (probably) the best game that I didn’t play in 2015.

And a bunch of runners-up :

They can’t all be winners, so here’s the list of video games that were up for consideration, but didn’t quite make the cut. I thoroughly enjoyed them all, but didn’t quite go head-over-heels for them. While they may not have been the cream of my crop, they all have something unique and special to offer, and are fully deserving of at least a little attention. Please give them a hand!

  • Into the Breach
  • Pokemon Let’s Go
  • Part Time UFO
  • Shantae: Half-Genie Hero – Pirate Queen’s Quest
  • Wario Ware Gold
  • Agatha Knife
  • Monster Hunter World
  • Picross S2
  • Iconoclasts
  • The Missing: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories

And that’s it, the article is done! There’ll be another one next year!

Nintendo Direct – Feb 13/19

Blorp. Nintendo Direct yesterday. It was baller.

Super Mario Maker 2 – Sweet! They showed off a ton of new content, and I really can’t wait to dig into it. Mostly to play levels, as I don’t relish the idea of creating them without a Wii U Gamepad. Note: There’s a Koopa Troopa driving a car on the main promo art. Like, not a Mario Kart. What is up with this guy? I don’t know! I don’t know what’s up with that!

And now, the “I don’t care” roundup. A list of all games shown that I haven’t got any interest in – Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3, Captain Toad DLC, Disney Tsum Tsum Festival, Rune Factory 4, Rune Factory 5, Fire Emblem Treehouses, Dead by Daylight, GRID Autosport, Mortal Kombat 11, Assassin’s Creed 3 Remastered, Unravel Two

BOX BOY! + BOX GIRL! – So hype, loved the 3DS games. Totally ready for more.

Smash Ultimate – Big troll. They were all like “hey a big update is coming… but we’re not going to tell you anything about it” which is lame. And Joker I guess.

Bloodstained – I backed the Kickstarter campaign so I’m already onboard financially. This is the first footage I’ve actually seen, and I’m happy that it looks v good.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 – Cool, not sure if I’ll get it. Never finished the first one.

Dragon Quest XI S – I like the new Switch features, but I already have it on PS4, and don’t need to buy it again.

Starlink update – I still haven’t bought this game, despite a very strong interest. And the fact that they’re jamming even more Star Fox stuff in there is making me want it even harder.

Oninaki – I really liked I Am Setsuna, this looks even better. But I’m already in pretty deep here. There are too many games, and not enough hours in the day.

Yoshi’s Crafted World – I’ve had it pre-ordered since June 2018. All in.

Tetris 99 – As I understand it, it’s Fortnite but with Tetris instead of guns. 99 people play at the same time until 98 are eliminated. Weird, but free so i’ll try it out. Probably. I guarantee nothing. Also I am terrible at Tetris, so.

Deltarune – Free console port of chapter 1. Deltarune is really good! Like, I think that this first chapter really holds up perfectly well all on its own. I’ll play it again, sure!

Daemon x Machina demo – This is on the short list of my most anticipated Switch games. I can’t wait to try it out. Which I could be doing right now, but instead I’m sitting here typing away like an idiot!

Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice – Looks really cool, and I’ve only heard good things. I was on the fence, but then there was a giant monster baby at the very end of the trailer that sold me completely. I’ll probably still pick it up on PS4 instead, depending on the price difference.

Final Fantasy Stuff – Can’t wait for FFVII, I’ll play Chocobo’s Mystery Dungeon with my brother, and I already bought FFIX. Yep. Been craving a replay of that for quite some time now.

Astral Chain – Looks dope. Thought it was Xenoblade, but no

Link’s Awakening – HOLY F*** DREAMS COME TRUE

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: January 2019

~Game Over~

Mega Man X (SNES) – I play this game at least once a year. Usually I like to have it as the very first and/or very last game that I play in a year, just so I can have one nice, consistent bookend. In 2019, it would be the first, just like in 2018. I was also trying to finish it in under an hour, and I was on pace to be very close! But then I whiffed in the Wolf Sigma fight, got killed, and ended up taking about 1:10 instead. Boo.

Bomb Chicken (Switch) – I was pretty excited about this when it was first revealed, but opted to wait for a time when it was more financially feasible. For example, during the eShop holiday sale while I was swimming in eShop gift cards. As for the game itself, the best way I can describe it is “sideways Bomberman”. That’s not exactly right, but I feel like it gets the idea across: solve platforming puzzles and collect gems as a chicken whose only verb is to poop out bombs. It’s tight, challenging, pretty, and exactly the right length. Aside from the somewhat frustrating final boss, it was a very good way to start the new year.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: January 2019

Arrival of the Fitness

As everyone who read my write-up of the demo likely expected, I did end up purchasing the full version of Fitness Boxing. I was on the fence all the way up until the night before release day, when I randomly noticed that the Government of Canada had graciously sent me a free $100 GST refund. What better way to spend it on than software for improving my physical well-being? (And also that way I can get around taking the cost out of my video game budget.)

Before I go any farther, I just want to take a second to express my disappointment that my stats from the demo didn’t carry over into the full game. It’s not really a big deal and not at all worth getting upset about, but I pouted about it for a little while anyway. End sidebar.

When I wrote about it last time, I mentioned that Fitness Boxing has a bit of a limited song selection. That’s definitely still an issue, but the sheer variety of other options almost makes up for it. The demo’s daily workout was always just one or two 5-minute routines, but the full game gives you many more options. You can choose the duration of your workout, what part of your body you’d like to focus on, if you’d like to do a guided stretch before and after, and whether you’re out to burn off extra calories or just maintain your current level of fitness. The daily routine has definitely been good for me so far; a 35ish-minute workout that mixes around routines and songs enough that even though I’m just shadow-boxing at my TV for half an hour every day, it hasn’t started to feel repetitive.

I haven’t really explored all of the other options, because one is just to choose a song and/or routine and then have at ‘er, and the rest is two-player stuff I’ll never touch. I have been swapping out trainers every day, though! They all have the exact same lines and basically just differ in physical appearance and voice, but I still haven’t been able to settle on one. I’m leaning toward just sticking with Lin, because all the other girls have larger breasts (or Lin is the only one who wears a proper sports bra) and their unusual jiggle physics weird me out. Can I take a moment to wonder why this exercise program even has boob jiggle to begin with? Was that particular omission going to be the thing that ruins players’ immersion? I guess there are a couple male trainers to choose from as well, but… no.

Something else that is proving to be an issue is that the game uses your weight to help track your progress, and by extension, customize your workouts. But it doesn’t support the Wii Balance Board and I don’t own any other scales. So I guess I actually do have to go buy an accessory to get the most out of Fitness Boxing. (That or boot up Wii Fit U once a week to weigh myself. Nah.) On the other hand, all the extra physical activity I’m getting is great for helping to expedite egg hatching in Pokémon GO, now that that game imports data from my phone’s activity tracker. I’m definitely punching my way to more kilometers “walked” than I’m getting from actual walking these days. I blame winter.

Yes, I still play Pokémon GO. Wanna fight about it?

One fun thing I noticed is that they mark unlockables on the calendar at the estimated date you’ll earn it, and each one is earned through a milestone number of punches. At the outset, I had rewards reaching all the way into 2020, but after two days of vigorous workouts, the game had recalculated my last unlock to be in June 2019. And that was before I upped my daily workout from 25 to 35 minutes. Regardless of how long it’ll take to earn everything, I like the idea that the game is always giving you that little incentive to keep going.

Overall, I’m having a great time with Fitness Boxing. I described it as “the best mini-game from Wii Fit, turned into a full game” before, but now I think that a better comparison might be “DDR, but with punching”. Sure, I’ve only had it for two weeks and it’s still got that new game smell, but I think I can stick with this one for a while. I know that eventually it’s going to get dropped by the wayside, but I hope to keep it up at least until winter goes away and I can start getting outside and running again.

If absolutely nothing else, it helps me feel better about myself and gives me another excuse to avoid going to an actual gym. And that makes it worth every dang penny.

Here’s to leaving your mark

Happy New Year! …A couple days ago!

2019 is going to be great, I just know it! Or maybe it’ll be mediocre, like this Pop-Tarts Review I posted recently. It’s been some time since I did one of these!

I know, I know, the sound levels are way off. I tried fixing it, but my video editing software crashed over and over every time I asked it to normalize the volume. So there was nothing left to do but post as-is. And start a search for a better program.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up : December 2018

~Game Over~

Pokémon: Let’s Go, Pikachu! (Switch) – I don’t like the EXP distribution changes, because it makes trainer battles feel pointless, but other than that? Muah! *Italian chef kiss*

Super Smash Bros Ultimate (Switch) – Much like how the Switch is what the Wii U should have been, this game is exactly what Smash for Wii U should have been. It’s so good.

GRIS (Switch) – I’ve played pretentious indie platformers before, but never one anywhere near as pretty as GRIS. The beautiful, watercolor worlds are reason enough to give this one a go.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up : December 2018

A Fresh Fitness Fixation

Remember Wii Fit? Man, that was a pretty fun way to delude myself into believing that I was getting a reasonable amount of exercise. All those delightful little activities that gamified physical exertion, bound to the somewhat cumbersome but absolutely integral Wii Balance Board accessory. Which, I might add, doesn’t work properly on my condo’s carpet. I got really into Wii Fit three or four times, always quickly falling off the wagon, like you do when you’re as lazy and unmotivated as me.

My favourite exercise on Wii Fit was the Rhythm Boxing, where you’d use a combination of the balance board, wiimote, and nunchuk to simulate beating up a robotic punching bag. It wasn’t overly challenging, and was kind of slow since it was simon-esque, where your trainer would call out a sequence of moves which you’d then have to copy. I tried to put wrist weights on my arms to get more out of it, but that ended up somehow making my punches harder to read. Accelerometers! They’re weird!

Fast-forward to earlier this month when this demo for a game called Fitness Boxing shows up on the Switch eShop. In the summer months I likely would have ignored it completely, but now that we’re in the middle of winter where I’m getting little exercise and trying to avoid a never-ending tidal wave of holiday junk food, I decided to see what was up. Oh lordy-loo, was I ever in for a nice surprise!

Fitness Boxing, as it turns out, is a game developed by Imagineer and published by… Nintendo? This becomes very obvious when you see that the game’s menus are ripped almost directly from Wii Fit. The overall style and green-and-white theme were immediately familiar. I’m pretty sure that even the fonts are exactly the same. So that’s a good start. Clearly Nintendo had a hand in guiding this project along, so there’s likely going to be a good level of polish to it. What sets it apart the most, in non-gameplay terms anyhow, is that your trainer is no longer a pale mannequin. Despite the title screen’s featureless lady, there’s an actual character named Lin, who is animated quite poorly and has a noticeable Japanese accent. I find her surprisingly charming, but you can unlock five other trainers if she’s not doing it for you.

So the gameplay, it’s got a similar framework to Wii Fit, where you do a daily check-in exercise and are then free to play around as you want with the other modes. But this one’s all boxing, all the time! And also, the call-and-repeat format is axed in favour of a much more fast-paced system that plays just like any other rhythm game. You’ve got two scrolling tracks on the screen, and various symbols will scroll by. Your job is to deliver the correct type of punch with precise timing, all to the beat of the music. It’s a lot of fun! They also get your lower body moving by having you change up your stance once in a while, and encouraging you to bob back and forth to the beat. The best part is that the only accessories you need to play are the joy-cons; I’ll never have to pull out that awkward balance board again.

While the workouts are very fun on their own and high-score mechanic gives you something to strive for (besides better physical wellness), Fitness Boxing has another trick up its sleeve to keep you coming back for more: a constant stream of unlockables. From songs, to workout routines, to new clothing options for your trainer, it seems like there are a ton of things to unlock in this game. Some are gated behind good performance, and some are based on checking in for a certain number of days. I’m sure they won’t be a long-term draw, but just the idea of so many things to earn has me very invested in the idea of purchasing the full version. What can I say? I just love amassing collections of pointless virtual junk!

As for the music… that’s the one part where Fitness Boxing really falls flat. There are twenty popular songs to punch along to; I think that I genuinely like four of the tracks and despise roughly half of the list. The nice part is that they’re all vocal-free, electronic covers, so even the worst ones don’t grate on me as much as they could. Did I think I’d ever find myself getting fired up to Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger”? Not in a million years, but it happened! 20 songs also seems like a very limited selection; and I really hope that there are a few DLC songs in the pipeline, but don’t actually expect to see any. Maybe if the game gets really popular, but that seems unlikely.

If it wasn’t clear before, I’m pretty well sold on buying the full version of Fitness Boxing when it comes out in January. I’m not 100% on board yet, but it seems likely. The demo version has already run its course, since they give you a very limited number of plays (three daily workouts and ten “free play” sessions), so we’ll have to see if I’m still interested come next week, or if the excitement has already passed by then. But I sure had a heck of a lot of fun with the demo!

Merry Xmas!

And Happy Other Holidays from your good pal, Ryan.

As a Xmas gift to all my loyal reader, here’s a video game review that I wrote in November but didn’t ever get around to proofreading or posting. Enjoy!

Once October rolled around, my plan was to put any games I was currently playing aside and focus on more spooky fare. Then I continued to spend most of my gaming time on Picross games and Monster Hunter anyway. Because I am incorrigible.

I did manage to mash a few spooky games in anyway (see the Monthend Wrap-Up for deets), and one of those games was Hollow. This is a first-person shooter with a sci-fi horror theme, and if I had to review it in a single sentence, it would be this:

What if Dead Space was kinda crappy?

Continue reading Merry Xmas!

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 24 – Sasquatch Stout

It’s here. Xmas Eve. And it came so much faster than it ever has before. Whether that’s because I’m old and jaded, or because I’ve been so damned busy, I don’t know for sure. Perhaps it’s a combination of both.

Whatever the case may be, thank the Buddha this friggin’ feature is over.

Sasquatch Stout is our final entry for Xmas 2018, and it’s a doozy. My youngest brother bought me a can of this gimmick beer for Xmas last year, and to get straight to the point, I hope I’ll never have to drink it ever again.

If you’ll take a close look at the bottom of the can, you’ll see that this is a beer with the flavours of “coffee, chocolate, and mystery.” I’ve never had a chocolate beer before, and based on Half Pints’ Stir Stick Stout I am of the opinion that coffee and beer are a terrible pairing. But then there’s the third part. Mystery. I don’t know if that’s them being cute because of sasquatch theme, or if it’s really saying that there’s some unlisted flavour going on here. It doesn’t really matter though, because this stuff is awful. As I said before, coffee-flavoured beer is gross alone, but the chocolate only exacerbates the poor flavour combo, and if that mystery is actually a flavour, it’s indecipherable and also does nothing to help.

Yet despite how disgusting I found it, apparently Sasquatch Stout was voted “Best Beer in Canada” back in 2014. So I guess I just have no sense of taste when it comes to beer.

On the other hand, I’m somewhat forced to adore this beer on account of it’s a sasquatch-themed beer. It’s such a tragedy that such a wonderful creature sould end up the namesake of such a crap-tastic beverage..Poor sasquatch. I still love you, big guy. Just not your beer.