Closer to whole

I am so excruciatingly tired of writing right now, that I just want to… not write more. I think I’ve earned that right to, after that big ol’ article from yesterday and the two half-articles that preceded it. It was a lot of work, especially doing up all those damnable trophy images. I swear to God I’m never putting that much effort into anything again.

What you didn’t notice is that I’ve been doing some work under the hood as well, and I’m proud to say that I’ve finally got the WordPress edition of TE updated to the point where every single blog post I’ve ever written is here to read. Even crappy little throwaway ones announcing that I made a negligible update to the site. Not every image in there still exists and some of the links are long since stale, but you can still read every word I committed to ones and zeroes.

That said, I still have a long trek ahead of me to get all the articles reformatted and up on here. Mostly it’s a matter of pulling the images off of the Angelfire site and making sure all the image tags point to the right place. It’s not hard work, but it’s more time-consuming than it should be. I have gotten a few more up since the last time I went on an article-updating spree, and now you can read the WP versions of Makin’ Pancakes!, Gamecube Hulk, The Bargain Shop Adventure and many more without having to sift through all the many outdated versions of my website. I’m currently very nostalgic for the Fargo ’09 photo gallery, though I can’t pinpoint why that one specifically is getting me all hot and bothered. A few of the images near the end seem to have vanished, but they’re just product shots so it’s not a big deal. I’m sure they’ll turn up eventually.

Chat Radio, the CD Archive, and some other random bits are still a long ways off. Don’t expect them anytime soon, but keep sending your prayers. If I learned anything from Earthbound, it’s that praying is your ticket to victory.

TE’s Top 12 Video Games of 2012

Another year has come and gone, and a big ol’ stack of videogames with it. I made a point in April to keep a list of every game I played throughout the year, and by the time July or so rolled around, I had decided to make up this list of the Top 12 Games of 2012. There are a few rules I decided to put in place for this list, though I ended up breaking them. Heck, there somehow managed to be 14 games in my top 12. Obviously the rules are more like suggestions.

Going in, I had decided that the games which would populate this list would have to be games that I started and finished in the year 2012. They would also have to be games that I’d never played previously. While most of the list fits this rule easily because they were released in 2012, I did make a couple exceptions. Technically there is one game that I did not beat on the list. However, I am right at the end of it, and I haven’t pulled the trigger on the ending sequence because there is more that I want to accomplish and I’ve heard whispers that ending the game ends the game for reals. Justified. The other exception is a pretty major one: a collection. I couldn’t help but add it because 2012 is the Year of the Video Game Collection and it’s by and large the best one I’ve seen so far. Also I did play through two of the games included on it this year. Good enough.

I think that earlier on in the selection process I had another stipulation on what could qualify, but I’m pretty sure that I broke it so many times that I can’t even remember what it was. Probably would have cut down the eligible games to under a dozen anyway. That said, let’s take a quick peek at the honorable mentions. These are games that either didn’t quite make the cut, or games that I really liked but didn’t even come close to finishing. They all deserve to have words written about them, but this is neither the time nor place. So let us look at their boxarts and dream about what could have been.

Now that we’ve got those losers out of the way, you can go ahead and check out what games earned the most of my affection and/or time last year. The list is exactly as Nintendo-centric as you might expect, but there are a couple games on here that will probably come as surprises. I’ll warn you now though, the total word count goes ever so slightly over 10,000 words, so if you’re in, be ready for the long haul. Maybe go get yourself a sandwich or a drink before you get started.

Continue reading TE’s Top 12 Video Games of 2012

TE’s “Top” 12 Bands of 2012

I mentioned in the Top 12 Albums article that I think making up year-end Top X lists is silly, and I stand by that statement. It’s a super-easy way to farm up some content that takes very little creativity and considerably less effort than writing something with a more original topic. I should know, because I’ve written more than a few of these for those reasons exactly. I’ll admit it, I’m a hack. This is just a hobby, and not one I take particularly seriously.

All that said, I’m getting more joy out of subverting the usual list mechanism by creating it using nothing but a handful of mostly inaccurate data. There’ll be no pondering for me, no mulling over which bands I like the most versus which bands I think deserve most to be on the list. Nope, I just checked the “last 12 months” option on the Artists chart, and voila: the worst of the work is done for me!

Keep in mind that given the method I used to make the list, this only partially represents which bands I would have considered my favourites during the last year. One I actually put any thought into would look considerably different. Hell, I don’t think I could even make a legit favourite bands list for a given year. It seems like a silly proposition, so “most listened to” will in fact be the criteria.

Note that these numbers were accurate as of January 14, 2013.

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The unpossible adventure

So despite taking myself out of the game for a while there, and having two unfinished series, I’ve started a new Let’s Play. This one stars Mickey Mouse and is about learning the alphabet.

Currently only the first video is up. I’m not sure what the update schedule is going to be like for this one. One a week seems like a little too long to drag this on for. Maybe one every couple of days.

TE’s “Top” 12 Albums of 2012

It’s January of 2013 now, and January means nothing if not “time to make lists about stuff from the previous year” and I intend to carry on that tired, thoughtless tradition. And, I’m going to make it even more thoughtless by having raw data determine the contents of this list, rather than make decisions on what belongs here based on my opinions.

To that end, I’ve gone onto my Last.fm account and checked the chart of most played albums in the last 12 months. Of course, the numbers are just so slightly skewed because we’re already almost halfway through January, but whatever. I know what I’ve listened to in the last two weeks, and I’ve made adjustments where necessary.

This data has been compiled through two sources: my computer, where every track I’ve played is logged through the Last.fm plugin, and also my phone, where sometimes the iScrob app sometimes decides to log tacks when it feels like it maybe. iScrob is a really crappy app that likes to drop tracks and I didn’t even use it for the first few months of the year or most of the summer. Not included are any songs played through any other source like, say, CDs or the iPod app on my phone. Also not counted are any tracks whose “album” tag is not filled out, though I’m pretty anal about keeping my basic tags correct and complete. So the numbers are going to be incredibly skewed, but whatever! Looking at data gives me total wood. And here it is! (The data, not my wood.)

Continue reading TE’s “Top” 12 Albums of 2012

How to Train Your Animatronic Dragon

As a rule, I don’t go to a lot of live events, or shows, or whatever you want to call them; things that generally take place in an arena or stadium and the tickets for which cost somewhere upwards of expensive. I’ve been to a few concerts in my time, but they aren’t a thing that really matters to me. I love live music, but going to concerts is low on the priority list. Even lower on my radar are any other kind of live shows, be it Cirque du Soleil or a play or anything else of the sort. While a live experience is always neat, not many of those things are really within the realm of my interests.

With this in mind, I was reasonably wary when my parents offered me the opportunity to go the the How to Train Your Dragon Live Spectacular, Stage shows have never been my thing, and I’d never even seen the How to Train Your Dragon movie, so the odds were more or less stacked against me as I went in.

After the fact though, I feel like the me in this timeline needs to build a dimensional portal so that I can travel into other timelines in which Alternate Ryans did not go see the How to Train Your Dragon Live Spectacular, and punch them in the biscuits. If that doesn’t make sense to you, of if you’d prefer a tldr version: I loved the show. For anyone interested in all the other deets, read on.

Continue reading How to Train Your Animatronic Dragon

Shout this

Quite possibly the most in-depth video game experience I’ve ever had has finally come to a close. Last night, I reached the point of completion for myself in Skyrim. For those who are interested: that point is having collected each and every achievement.

I know what you’re thinking, and I am well aware that the achievements only cover a small fraction of what Skyrim has to offer. Don’t you worry, I saw much, much more of that game than my gamerscore would let on. The first few months that I had the game was spent learning about exactly what an Elder Scrolls game is all about. Immediately after escaping Helgen, I set the main story aside and decided to go gallivanting. A couple caves and a small bounty (how did I know someone owned that chicken?) later, I decided it was time to hit Whiterun.

Of course, after meeting the Jarl and unlocking my shout ability, I set off on my own again. I started with the field West of Whiterun, and eventually travelled South to Falkreath. For hours and hours I played in this small pocket of the game’s world, and it was all good. Quests eventually dragged me to Markarth and Dawnstar, but I did very little exploring within those holds. In that time, I completed copious amounts of quests and sub-quests, and raised several of my skills to stand out above the rest. My character was a pro at smithing with a penchant for sneaking around and dispatching foes from afar with her bow. She learned how to enchant her light armor and toyed around a little with illusion magic. Basically, she ended up being an expert at stealth and avoiding any real combat. Generally, close combat would result in my death.

I set Skyrim aside for most of the summer months to focus on other games (Re: Xenoblade Chronicles), because variety is the spice of life. I did give it a spin now and then just to try to make a little headway against the veritable torrent of things to do and find within the game. It wasn’t until October that I picked it back up in earnest, and with a short exception for the Wii U launch, my free time on weekends has been singularly devoted to getting Skyrim out of my pile of shame.

The last few months have been a decidedly more focused affair. While my playstyle before was to wander the countryside and explore and caves, towers, or the like as I found them, more recently I’ve been narrowing my focus to achievement-bearing pursuits. The Companions/Dark Brotherhood/Thieves’ Guild/College of Winterhold quest lines were neat, and kept me entertained enough that they didn’t feel like a slog (I find it much more entertaining to explore on my own, rather than be told where to go), but I can’t help being bothered by the fact that they all had the exact same structure. Find group > prove yourself > join group > achievement quest > learn group’s terrible secret > leader dies > final quest > become new leader. It works for all four. It’s a bit of a nitpick, so whatever.

The only exception to this rule was the Thieves’ Guild, which tasks you with doing several dozen little, repetitive jobs over and over before it lets you play the actual quests. It’s stupid and annoying and why can’t I just warp into the Ragged Flagon? There are two doors between the quest-givers and the outside, where you have to be to fast travel. I’d wager that during these dumb little quests I spent more time on loading screens than actually playing.

And man, what’s up with the load times? I know it’s a huge game but eeeuuuuuggghhhh…

Getting the Oblivion Walker achievement is a story that I could probably stretch into its own blog post, but I won’t. The idea here is to gather 15 Daedric artifacts, of which there are 17 in the game, and one doesn’t count. The rub is that almost half of them are lost-forevers, and since I’m playing the 360 version, I don’t have a convenient command console to hack those I missed into my inventory. Of course, I only learned of the missable ones after I’d hunted down six or seven of the ones I was missing.

What this resulted in was me loading the only viable save I had, which was made right at the beginning of the game. I was at level 2 and sitting in Riverwood without a single completed quest to my name. So off I went, in my alternate reality, to do a whole bunch of quests over again, and with armor and supplies much less suited to the task. I tried to get the Oghma Infinium first (because it’s a quick game-breaker), but the ruins of Alftand are not kind to level 2 adventurers that only have iron armor. I struggled my way through, and then learned that you can’t start the second half of the quest until you’re level 15. So I went off to collect the other Daedric artifacts while I waited for my levels to rise.

The Oblivion Walker achievement took two weekends on its own to obtain, and I feel very little satisfaction for having earned it. My hatred for lost-forevers had grown even stronger than it ever was before. At least in Final Fantasy XII the copious amount of them didn’t really affect you; it just meant you had to play the game without some really broken equipment.

The only other big issue (the third, for the record)  I had with Skyrim is that it can get to feel really padded. The tiny, random miscellaneous quests you get are usually stupid and boring, and don’t often reward you with anything you’d ever need. And then there’s the dungeon design. Technically the design is not terrible (though a little repetitive), but nine times out of ten your reward for forging your way to the end of a dungeon is… another dungeon. Another level of the same dungeon, usually, but still. Most of these places aren’t small to begin with, but when I got to the third or fourth stratum of a dungeon, I would generally feel like I was ready to leave and not care what was at the end. Because the actual reward generally wasn’t much better. a lump of gold and maybe an enchanted piece of armor two grades down from what you’re carrying.

No, I found much more pleasure in simply exploring the overworld of Skyrim. The endless green fields and forests, the snow-covered mountain ranges, and the rocky cliffs of the western holds. I could wander around discovering things in Skyrim forever, and be just as happy to never actually find out what’s in that cave. Well, the caves aren’t usually too bad, but those Dwemer ruins quickly became landmarks that I actively avoided. Trying to make my way out of the bounds of Skyrim was its own reward too. I don’t know how far you can swim to the north, but I did find an escapable area on the eastern border that let me walk far enough that the world became one flat mass covered with a single repeating texture. It was pretty cool.

I think the most rewarding part of the game was building my character though. From the literal character creator at the beginning of the game to placing those last few perks, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Olivia the Wood Elf grow from a rag-wearing nobody to an unstoppable force of nature whom even the toughest dragons could barely slow down. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t buy every single perk, but I guess that’s part of the process. If your character just ended up with all the same abilities as everyone else’s characters, the whole point would be lost. Kinda like how it doesn’t really matter who’s in your party in most Final Fantasy games; the only defining aspect of the characters are their Limit Breaks and what kind of weapons they use. I would love to roll up a new character and play a different style, but it just takes so long to make any sort of progress in Skyrim.

In the end, I’m a fan of Skyrim. There are some things about it that bother me, but nothing so bad that I’d give up on it. I’ll just skip the Thieves’ Guild story next time I play it. Well, if I ever play it again. It’s not likely that I’ll ever give Skyrim so much attention again, but you just never know. I pretty much went straight from Fallout 3 into Skyrim, so I think I’m going to need a big long Bethesda break. Five or six years should do it.

Oh, and to Hell with the Dawnguard and Dragonborn DLC packs. They’re way too expensive (about $25 each!) and I just feel like I need to be done with this game for now. I know that technically I don’t have all the cheevos because of them, but I’ve got my 1000/1000 (plus 50 for Hearthfire) and that’s all that matters to me. That was my goal, and I’m going to take the win for what it’s worth.

100% completion

I bought the final issue of Nintendo Power this week, and began flipping through it an hour ago. You know how they say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes? Well, I had a feeling that I can only describe like that: going through the pages, looking at the features on the history of Nintendo Power, scanning the included poster that features the cover of every issue, it was like looking back through a summary of my entire life. It was beautiful and chilling at the same time.

Is it sad that I can trace my life through a series of 285 magazines? I haven’t even read them all, but you could pick almost any point in my life and I could tell you what I was reading about in Nintendo Power at that time, within roughly two months. I haven’t been a subscriber for a few years now, but I always made a point to pick up an issue every few months for the sake of tradition, if nothing else. the worst part of it all is that a couple years ago I actually offloaded my entire NP collection, and now that the nostalgia bug is biting, it’s killing me that I don’t have them to go back to and reminisce with. I’d kill for a complete set, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t think it would be the same if it wasn’t my collection. Sure, pretty much every issue I had before volume 92 (Yes, I know that specifically. It’s the Shadows of the Empire issue. I got the Dash Rendar cover.) was in tatters, but I guess that’s part of what made them so special to me, weird as it may be. All the articles would be the same, but it just wouldn’t be the same. You know what I mean?

And now that I’m thinking about it, I actually have Amazon open in another tab, seeing how much people are charging for their old issues. As long as you’re not looking for mint copies, the average asking price seems to be around $3, which would cost me roughly… $855. Before Shipping. Yeah, I need to get away from Amazon. Now. Not to mention the time it would take to order each one individually… Also issue #1 doesn’t go for any less than $200. Drat. I certainly don’t have that kind of cash.

Anyway, reading this magazine has simultaneously made me sad and filled me with warm fuzzies. I kind of hate nostalgia because it affects me so strongly. I’m going to be mopey about the loss of Nintendo Power for weeks now. The worst part is that recent Nintendo Power hasn’t really been the Nintendo Power that I grew up with. It’s a completely different magazine than it was even midway through its run, but I still loved it dearly. Checking the mail every single day when a new month rolled around. Absorbing each and every word printed between the covers -twice- the day it finally arrived. Reading that three-part Secret of Mana feature over and over and over again. Poring over the maps and strategies so that I knew games inside and out before even playing them. There are a handful of games to this day that I’ve never played but vividly remember because I soaked in so much information about them via the pages of Nintendo Power. It was a huge part of my childhood life, but I suppose all good things have to come to an end eventually.

I’m just glad that they did up one final Nester comic for the last issue. It’s the best sendoff the magazine could have hoped for.

I mooch like a pro

You may have noticed that this here web-log has got a new banner. Maybe you didn’t? I don’t know, it’s not a big deal. But it does.

I’m mentioning this because I did not make this banner. In fact, I outsourced it! Sort of. See, there’s this person, goes by the name Guild on Talking Time, who’d made a thread offering free logo designs for businesses. Likely in hopes of drumming up real business. I happened to see said thread, and decided to bite, because why not? It’d save me the trouble of making a less MS Paint-lookin’ banner on my own. And let’s be honest, I probably wasn’t going to do that anytime soon.

Apparently it’s not done done yet, but I think it looks pretty done. There’s some more less noticable stuff still in the pipeline, like playing with transparencies and the gradient, but my project is understandably not at the top of the priority list. And that’s fine, because I’m pretty happy with what I’ve already got.

That’s pretty much the whole of what I’ve got to post today. Just givin’ credit where credit is due. I do that about once a decade.

I’ve got a friend, her name is Boxcar

Guys, Wii U. Oh man, Wii U.

For a thing I wasn’t entirely sold on before launch, it has very handily dominated the last week-plus of my life. And I’m okay with that, because man is it ever fun. I’m not even talking about the games there! The system is just fun to play with. It’s a little on the slow side; everything takes a good five to ten seconds to load, but I don’t find it nearly as annoying as some. Just sitting on the main menu, with all the Miis milling about, it’s kinda hypnotizing. And then the Miiverse posts start popping up.

Miiverse is… What’s the best way to describe it? I finally get how people can get addicted to Twitter. It’s like Nintentwitter: made up of tens of thousands of Nintendo Power envelope artist wannabes and infinitely easier to parse than actual Twitter. It’s plenty of fun to sift through Miiverse posts to look at the funny screenshots and beautiful drawings that people have posted to it, and it’s very fulfilling to help people out who have posted about how they’re stuck somewhere in a game. Currently only Nintendo Land and New Super Mario Bros U are completely integrated, but once more developers make their games with it in mind, I think that Miiverse is going to be a real game-changer. I’ve been on Facebook for years now, but have never enjoyed the experience as much as I have with the last week with Miiverse.

Also of note is that the Wii U internet browser is excellent. Nothing beats an actual computer for surfing the webs, but as far as game console/handhelds go, the Wii U’s internets browser is leaps and bounds beyond the rest. The YouTube app that comes installed on the system is nowhere near as good as simply using the browser for your YouTubing. This comes as a great relief to me, as my TV’s YouTube app is garbage, and only really usable when linked up with my iPhone. Now I just boot up the Wii U and I’ve got a perfect YouTube experience on my gigantic television. There are fewer things that could make me happier.

Where the games are concerned… Mario U is pretty damn great. People have been referring to it as New Super Mario World, but it’s not quite that good. If you’re in it for the single-player experience, Super Mario World or even Super Talking Time Bros 2 will leave you more fulfilled. Fortunately, Mario U features a multiplayer experience that is almost completely unique and an absolute blast. Yes, it’s essentially the same as New Super Mario Bros Wii, but it’s bigger, better, and in glorious HD.

I haven’t given Darksiders 2 a spin yet, because I intend to complete ZombiU first. ZombiU is an intricate game that deserves a whole post to itself, so that’s what I’m going to do somewhere down the line.

Nintendo Land may be is the best pack-in game ever. In a completely unexpected twist, it’s the game I’ve spent the most time with by far. It’s not at all the tired mini-game collection I assumed it would be. It’s an essential party game for Nintendo fans, and has an impressively robust single-player experience tucked away in there to boot. It’s already provided two weekends of riotous three-player fun, and I look forward to spending much more time in Nintendo Land, the new Funnest Place on Earth. Full review to follow on this one, because there’s so much there!

I only got to play a little bit of Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed, but my brother stands firm that it’s better than Mario Kart. Not as strong a statement as it might have been years ago, because Mario Kart is starting to get a little long in the tooth, but a pretty clear indication of quality no less. I liked what I saw, and the inclusion of Wreck-It Ralph as a playable character is simultaneously pleasing and perplexing. Ralph is the only element of his movie in the game, despite the fact that he never really drove in the movie. Oh well. It seems like a solid game, and an excellent candidate for an Xmas gift.

For some reason that I cannot explain, Little Inferno has wiggled its way into my head and won’t get out. I don’t think it’d be something I would get a lot of use out of, and the $15 price tag is awfully steep for a creepy fireplace simulator. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll get over it eventually. As soon as a more enticing eShop game comes along, I think. Hopefully there’s some new software available this Thursday. It was nice that Wii U launched with a shop at all, but it’s nowhere as great as the bounty of Virtual Console games that OG Wii had available on launch day.

I guess that’s all for today. I really think I’d get more enjoyment from actually playing with my new toy than writing about it, so I’mma go do that now. Ciao.