A Knight’s Quest – The Buggiest Game of 2020

Well, the buggiest game that I played in 2020, anyhow. It was actually released last year. And I have no intention of ever playing Cyberpunk 2077.

A Knight’s Quest is a game that I’d had on my Switch wishlist for a while, since it looked like a fairly decent Zelda-like. I bought it in June when it went on sale for a decent price, but then didn’t play it until December, due to an overloaded SD card. I can’t say I feel overly strongly about this in either direction. It’s perfectly fine. Kind of like what you would get if you wished for a GameCube-styled game that mashed up a Zelda knockoff and Mario knockoff.

But this isn’t a review. Oh, certainly not! This, my friends, is simply a round-up of every bug and glitch that I’ve experienced while playing this game. Let’s start!

  1. Right off the hop – you can control Rusty (the main character) during the first cutscene after the intro sequence. While an in-engine scene is showing Rusty waking up on a beach after being washed ashore, you can mash buttons to have the actual player character version of him run and jump and swing his sword. If you’re lucky, you might actually run him into the camera’s view. I’m seeing double – four Rustys!
  2. Not long after you “gain control” of Rusty, you’ll probably wade into the water and learn that he can’t swim. Like in Zelda games, he’s supposed to void out and respawn on the most recent solid ground that he stood on. Except one time when I jumped off the pier into what I thought was shallow water: Rusty drowned and voided out, only to respawn… in the water. where he drowned and voided out again. And again. And again. And probably would have continued to do so forever, until I paused the game and quite out to the main menu. It’s worth noting that the game only auto-saves, and only when you move between areas. Don’t take any unnecessary risks, kids!
  3. Sometimes if you have Rusty jump onto a weird surface, like the back of a bench, he won’t be able to find his footing and get stuck hovering over it in his falling pose. If you can’t move him off the object somehow (which is surprisingly likely), he’ll simply die and void out after a while, as if he had fallen out of bounds. Today’s lesson: don’t try to stand on the backs of any park benches. They’re apparently quite deadly.
  4. Remember how I said that manual saves are not an option, and the game only auto-saves when transitioning between two areas? Well sometimes, if you’re really lucky, the game will just crash in that transition instead of, you know, loading the map and saving. Hope you didn’t just come from exploring one of the bigger maps!
  5. You can buy or find pickaxes to mine specific rocks in the environment to gather valuable ores. Nothing new, this is video games in 2020, after all. What is new about it, is that sometimes when you mine a rock, you get nothing for your trouble but a pickae is still removed from your inventory. These rocks are supposed to give you exactly one ore per visit to that map, then respawn once you leave and return, so it’s not as if you just didn’t find an ore that time. No, sometimes the game is just bugged and steals a pickaxe (or five) from you.
  6. Occasionally, you’ll be walking along, and Rusty will sort of randomly float up slightly off the ground, as if there’s some invisible geometry below him. It also counts as unstable ground, so if you can’t wiggle him back to solid footing fast enough… see note 3.
  7. Taking damage in battle will very rarely cause certain unfortunate “status effects” like: Not being able to use magic while holding the block button. Rusty becomes entirely unresponsive until he gets hit again. Rusty goes into T-pose and can’t do anything but hover around a bit until he gets hit again.
  8. If Rusty ever takes damage from anything while airborne, be it an enemy attack or an environmental hazard, he’ll go into a ragdoll mode and flop to the ground. Several things can go wrong at this point. The funniest one is when the ragdoll physics mess up and Rusty goes flying into space as if he took a hit from a Skyrim giant. The more frustrating one is when Rusty flops to the ground and becomes completely unresponsive until he gets hit again – and if there’s nothing around to hit him… hopefully the last auto-save wasn’t too far back.
  9. At one point, textures on some environmental objects disappeared, leaving said objects covered in a grey checkerboard pattern. Fun!
  10. I don’t know if it could be considered a bug, but one of the boss fights is so poorly designed and frustrating that I can’t imagine it was made that way intentionally. Either somebody missed something during QA, or Sky9 Games just didn’t give a damn that it’s an awful experience.

This should, by no means, be considered a complete list. I’m sure that there are plenty of other bugs that I either didn’t encounter or weren’t significant enough to remember/write down. And to be fair, most of the bugs that I did encounter were mere annoyances at worst. It was only the game crashing coupled with the inability to save manually that really gave me a lot of anxiety. I was super lucky that it only happened (twice) while passing through areas. If it had happened after, say, completing a dungeon? Probably would have chucked the game in the bin right then and there.

But that didn’t happen and I played A Knight’s Quest all the way through to the end. Hooray!

The Most/Least Memorable Xmas

So 2020 was bad. And the worst part of it, bar none, were the people who would deny that COVID-19 exists, and the people who just couldn’t give a damn and totally defied any efforts to suppress the virus. It’s because of those people that I’m expected to spend Xmas day completely alone.

On a merrier note, I have a “gift” of sorts for you, dear reader. You may have (but probably didn’t) noticed that I didn’t post a Top Ten Video Games of 2019 list at all this year. The truth of the matter is that I wrote it all out, and then decided that I didn’t like what I wrote, and instead of re-writing it all, I just left it to die in Google Docs.

But I’ve changed my mind! Having gone back and re-read it, it’s actually not so bad. Still not good, but not materially worse than anything else that I write. So I’ve gone and stealth-posted it back in January, when it should have originally gone live. Go have a look-see.

I know that’s not a very good gift, but it’s 2020. You should be very much used to disappointment by now.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 17: Exercise!

You know, it’s getting to that time of year when you just want to stay inside as much as possible, and holiday gatherings abound with way too much food. Well, maybe not so much the gatherings this year, but you get what I mean.

The point is, make sure that you take the time to get some exercise in, whatever shape that may take in the Year of the Lockdown. Exercising regularly is important for keeping your bod in good shape, but it’s also good for your state of mind. You might be going a little stir-crazy, stuck alone at home all the time, and stressed out by the frigid weather. Working out can definitely help to put you in a better head space and kill some of that “down time” that I’ve been hearing so much about.

Of course, you’ve probably guessed that I’m writing about exercise specifically to give myself an outlet to talk about Fitness Boxing 2: Rhythm & Exercise. And to that, I say, you’re absolutely correct.

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24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 16: Video games!

Oh me gosh, finally.

Video games! They’re something I know! Though not necessarily something that’s overly holiday-related. At least, not at a high level. Once you start drilling down, there are definitely a ton of things that I could use this blog post for. But I’m gonna pick two.

Firstmost: Find a game you like, and just play the snow level. This is going to be pretty cut-and-dry in most cases, as a ton of games have a wide variety of stock themes for different stages or worlds, and almost always there’s an ice/snow level. Most of the times those even incorporate jingle bells into the background music, because they make any song feel more wintry.

My personal choice would be Freezeezy Peak from Banjo-Kazooie. It’s a snow level with a giant snowman dominating the bulk of the stage, but also you have presents and festive trees and other holiday-type things strewn about around his feet. Several of the stage’s challenges involve interacting with these elements in some way, like one that has you keeping little light bulbs safe as they work their way towards a tree to light it up. It’s about halfway through the game, so you’ll have to play a bit to get there, but I think it’s a really good level for getting into the festive spirit.

Secondmost: Find a game that reminds you of the holiday season and play that. We all subconsciously tie tastes and sounds and smells to events in our life, and video games are no exception to this rule. For the last few years, when the holiday season rolls around, I always get a hankering to play either Xenoblade Chronicles X or Pokémon Picross, as those were both released in December of 2015 and tie very strongly to pleasant memories I have of that particular Xmas. Sometimes I also have little memory flashes of Silent Hill: Origins, which I got as an Xmas gift in 2007, started playing that very same day, and then never played again. Not because I didn’t like it, of course! Probably just because I was busy with other things and it fell off my radar. I kind of want to try to start playing it again this Xmas, but we’ll see. My PSP… doesn’t see much action these days.

Anyway! Video games! Play them! Possibly try to make them relevant to the season in some way or another!

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 11: Elf Bowling

It’s December 1998. The world is a simpler, kinder place. The internet is still young, and social media is thankfully many years away. My family doesn’t even have the internet yet, so I don’t even know what it’s used for at this point. It’s just a thing that I hear people talk about now and then.

Then one fateful day, my uncle introduces us all to the biggest phenomenon of the decade: Elf Bowling.

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24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 2: Holiday Playlist

Music plays a huge part in the lives of most people. Whether you’re jamming to your favourite tunes on your morning commute, being drawn into a film by an expertly composed score, or performing a dance of worship to the tune of tribal drums and chanting, music is an integral part of humanity.

That’s why when I hear someone say “I’m not interested in music” I know for sure that they’re an alien impostor.

One particularly important facet of music is how effectively it can set a mood. So today, your job is to go out and add a bunch of wintry or holiday-themed music to your phone or whatever. Listening to tunes that evoke the right feelings is a great way to put yourself in the spirit of the season. Of course, overdoing it can send you careening in the opposite direction (working at Toys R Us made me hate Christmas music for many years), so just be mindful not to go overboard.

I’m sure that Average Jo/e will just hit up the standards, but that’s boring. You don’t need seventeen versions of “White Christmas” or “Jingle Bell Rock”. You don’t need any versions of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. Just forget that nonsense. It’s overdone and basic as heck. Look for something more thoughtful and/or creative.

The Purple Stuff Podcast currently has five episodes (for reference: 17, 36, 46, 57, and 66) that are dedicated to songs that may be good for getting you in the holiday spirit. Not every choice is a winner, but I appreciate the breadth of options presented, and will certainly bring a few into my own playlist. I’m also pretty hype for the inevitable 2020 entry into the series!

Another avenue you probably haven’t considered: video games usually have pretty well-suited tunes in their ice/snow levels. In particular, I’d like to point out that remixer Qumu has a nice little playlist of holiday-themed mixes of video game songs on their YouTube channel. I’m a huge fan of Qumu, and highly recommend checking out the playlist. And also the channel in general, but that’s besides the point.

My last recommendation is a single track: “Shiro no Tairiku” from Xenoblade Chronicles X, which translates to “Land of White”. The daytime variant is so pretty; very subdued and played mostly on chimes and a xylophone (I think) to really bring out the character of the snowy Sylvalum continent. The night-time version comes alive, adding more strings, drums, and a flute to the mix. It’s one of my favourite video game themes of all-time. While it may not fit the season especially well, Xenoblade X is a game that I strongly associate with wintertime and Xmas, so it’s always at the forefront of my mind during this time of year.

Of course, these are just a few recommendations. A handful of starting points for you to go out and explore the wide world of holiday-ish music offerings that aren’t just more awful covers of “Santa Baby”. Snarkiness aside, put whatever songs you want on there. It’s your holiday playlist, so obviously it should be tailored to whatever is going to best get you excited about the season.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: November 2020

~ Game Over ~

The Void (PC) – Artsy horror-ish game that I may have liked if not for three factors: 1. Gesture-based commands that don’t work very well. 2. Overcomplicated gameplay systems that make no sense. 3. Your character moves slower than molasses – at running speed. Into the bin with ye!

Stories Untold (Switch) – A text-based adventure game anthology that takes place over four separate mini-episodes. Each one introduces some new gameplay element and a new scenario. While the gameplay can be a little tedious, the stories are great and go off in wildly unexpected directions. I bought this on sale for $7 and I kind of want to give the developer the difference because it was fantastic. Likely to be on my 2020 GOTY list.

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Eyes on You

As is my MO, I bought a cheapo little horror video game for Switch recently. It’s called Eyes: The Horror Game. If that title isn’t enough to make you cock an eyebrow in suspicion, nothing is. In actuality though, Eyes: The Horror Game is generally pretty fun! It’s a mobile port, so… you know. Super short and simple, but I can’t really leverage any major complaints.

As a survival horror game, your objective in Eyes is to run around a spooky environment whilst searching for and collecting bags of sweet, sweet cash. Oh and also there are monsters roaming around who are none too shy about murdering you. There are three stages, each with its own unique monster and mechanics. That’s not really much to burn through, but there are some extra modes and other incentives to keep playing.

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