The Top 6 Things in my Field of Vision (office edition)

The average working stiff spends between 35 to 40 hours a week at work. Some people aren’t “lucky” enough to be able to work so many hours, and some fools decide they want to work even more than that. What I’m getting at here, is that folks spend a whole lotta time at work.

Now that can be a good and a bad thing. On the good side, you’ve gotta pay your bills, and working a lot will help you to do just that. On the other hand, it can be kind of boring to go to the same place and do the same thing every day. Especially if you’ve got one a them desk jobs.

I have one of those desk jobs, and the complete lack of scenery and variety doesn’t matter much to me in the long run, but it does get a little bit boring staring at the same old cubicle walls day in and day out. So I like to have things that entertain me at my desk. Now come with me, as we look at my six favourite things that I can see when sitting in front of my computer at work.

Continue reading The Top 6 Things in my Field of Vision (office edition)

X-Mas Gift Roundup: 2013 Edition

Hey, so Christmas happened a while back. Maybe you’d noticed? I sure did, because I got a freakin’ amazing haul of gift this year, and you know how much I treasure material possessions. So obviously I want to brag talk about them on the internet.

I don’t really have any sort of screed to come in on, I just wanted to note that I haven’t done an X-Mas gift round up since… 2007!? Holy cow! That’s even farther back than I’d thought! Man… that was a pretty great Christmas. Looking back on those pics, I can even remember it pretty well. Yeah, I was so excited that morning that after The Unwrappening was over I fell asleep while watching Bender’s Big Score.

So, uh, let’s just get started then, yes?

Continue reading X-Mas Gift Roundup: 2013 Edition

One of my favourite things

The Christmas season is approaching much faster than I’m ready for it to, and I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed as a result.

Normally, I’d just go out and buy whatever I think would make good gifts for the people on my list, but this year the crushing costs of living as independent adults is making it very hard to do Christmas shopping my way. It’s really too bad too, because Christmas is the one time of year that I’m not a selfish prick, and I used to truly enjoy going all out on gifts. Especially for Wifey, though I have been squirreling away money to make sure that I can get her lots of nice things..

On the flip side, budget-conscious shopping means I’ll probably have to spend more time shopping (bargain hunting an whatnot), which makes me incredibly happy. See, while those few years I spent working at Toys R Us during the season rent my love of holiday shopping asunder, it’s finally grown back and man oh man, am I excited to soak up the festive…ness.

I haven’t ever really written about Christmas at length, but that’s because I just enjoy absorbing the season more than I do trying to put words to the feelings it evokes. Christmas shopping is one of my favourite parts of it. Despite the time I spent working in retail, I love the atmosphere of the malls when November rolls around.

Everything about it is just so wonderful to me. I love seeing all the kiosks pop up or change over to something more thematically appropriate. I love walking into stores that are suddenly overflowing with merchandise. I love the decorations, from the wintry banners to the red bow to the huge Santa Claus photo stage. Hell, I even have a bit of a soft spot for the silly music, now that I don’t have to listen to it for eight hours a day.

But my favourite part of all are the lights. There’s just something about all those extraneous strings of lights that suddenly spring forth from mall ceilings that make me feel comfortable and happy. Especially when they’re paired with a glass ceiling, as looking at all the lights with the backdrop of the night sky is just my favourite. I don’t even have words to properly describe how it makes me feel or why I like it, but it’s something I just couldn’t do without.

I’m not the kind of person who enjoys the mall normally. I like to go every once in a while to walk around a bit, and I’ll hit it up occasionally for shopping, but it’s not a place I choose to linger just for the sake of being there. When a mall is all gussied up to draw in holiday shoppers though, you can bet that I’d be happy just to walk around and enjoy the atmosphere. And it’s weird, because I’m not too crazy about going out to any other kind of holiday display. It’s all about the malls for some reason.

Well, I think that was enough disjointed rambling for one day. Tune in next time for maybe something I’m able to express a little more clearly. Or maybe not. Who knows!

That sinking feeling

I went out and bought a Wii Fit Meter the other day. I know, you’re thinking that’s pretty nuts. Just hear me out: There’s a Wii Fit U demo on the eShop, which is the full game, but it’s only good for 30 days. After that, I’d have to pony up $50 for the full version of the game. BUT! Buying the silly little trinket on its own for $20 and syncing it up with said demo actually unlocks the game for unlimited use. And we all know that I was going to buy Wii Fit U at some point anyway, so I actually saved $30 by buying the Fit Meter. Score!

Also I bought it with a gift card so I didn’t actually spend any money.

Not that I know anyone who owns a Wii U (heathens), but this deal is only good until January 31st, so if you’re at all interested, now would be the time to take the plunge. Of course it’s not a great deal if you don’t also already own a Balance Board, but them’s the breaks.

wii-fit-u-meter-376x380

Anyway, the Fit Meter is basically a repurposed and repainted Pokéwalker. Actually, I think it’s exactly a repurposed and repainted Pokéwalker. The two gadgets are identical, as both are just glorified pedometers. The Fit Meter has some extra features tucked into though, those being an altimeter and a thermometer. It’s also apparently smart enough to know when you’re driving, so as not to count false steps.

You cannot, however, use it to catch Pokémon. Which is a missed opportunity, but I’ll let it slide..

The pedometer and thermometer seem to be pretty on the level, as those have maintained pretty accurate numbers as far as I can tell. The clock is a few minutes ahead and I can’t change it, which bothers me but I guess I’ll just have to live with it. It’s the altimeter that I question.

The altimeter is there to measure your change in elevation as you move around, which will affect how many burned calories it’s calculating. Thing is, the altimeter is set right now at -135m, even though the city’s general elevation is roughly 235m, but that one can be written off as a poor initial calibration.

What really troubles me is that the altitude graph showed a steady decrease on my ride to work this morning, and continued to decrease even while I was at work, despite the fact that I climbed three stories to get to my desk. Looking back even farther, the altitude graph is showing that the Fit Meter thought it was descending overnight, while it was sitting still on my nightstand.

So either the thing is buggy or my entire city is rather quickly sinking into the Earth. I don’t hear any panic in the streets outside, so I’m inclined to believe it’s not the latter.

On the other hand, having even a piece of Wii Fit tagging along in my pocket all day seems like it’s going to be a pretty good incentive to keep using the actual software. At least I’m hoping that’s the case, as I do want to drop a belt size or two, but can’t be bothered to keep myself motivated enough to actually keep exercising. Also that whole “eating right” business, but that’s a totally different beast that I’m going to tackle once I’ve got this regular exercise thing down.

Oh lately it’s so quiet

I learned the hard way this morning, that my body will no longer tolerate me eating like a young man. Back in the day, I used to pack away as much of whatever I wanted, and all would be good. I might get full after a while, but hey, full is good.

Last night, I ate two polish sausage hot dogs, half a thing of fries, a few peanut butter cookies, and a big ol’ root beer. This sounds like a standard meal for me, and I figured it would be as much. But this morning I woke up with the absolute worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. Also I was still burping out the smell of hot dogs. It was a horrible, disgusting morning.

I look back now, and shudder to think of the disaster I averted by opting to not get that third hot dog.

All this to say… there’s not a lot going on. Who would have thought that my entire schtick was buying silly crap and then writing about it? Turns out that I don’t actually do anything interesting, I just used to make the “most” of my disposable income. I’m sitting here, racking my brain for something I’m interested enough to write about at length, but I’m at a total loss. So stories about hot dog burps are the best you’re gonna get right now.

I suppose I could start playing Fallout: New Vegas and regale you with tall tales about my further adventures in post-apocalyptic America, but there are just so many other games I’d rather be playing right now (and honestly I think I’d rather go back to Skyrim before starting New Vegas). Also, I feel like I’m falling back into the habit of only writing about video games, and I really want to pull back away from that. Yes, video games are pretty much all I do, but I’d sure like to be able to at least pretend for a while that I have other interests.

Something about momentum

Last weekend was delicious Thanksgiving long weekend for us Canadians, but the awesome dinners I got three days in a row are actually the least incredible things that happened over the weekend.

Not to downplay those dinners, of course. Many people worked hard to prepare them, and I appreciate all that effort. In fact, you might even say that I give them my thanks for stuffing me so full that I literally rolled out of bed on Tuesday morning.

The big news, as you might be aware, was that Pokémon X and Y launched on Saturday. I was so damn excited about them, in fact, that my youngest brother and I decided to attend the midnight launch at our local used games store. Wifey tagged along for the ride too, but I was not able to convince her to start her own journey with Pokémon. Some day…

We figured it’d be a pretty low-key thing, because I guess neither of us know many Pokémon players in the city. Also, like I said, it’s a little local place. But the turnout was pretty amazing! I’d say that there were at least 60 or 70 people there. Which is low-key compared to the official Nintendo launch event in Toronto, but still way more than we’d expected. There wasn’t much more to the evening than waiting in line for half an hour and then merrily skipping out of the store with games in hand, but it was still a pretty fun experience.

And so that’s what I did all weekend when I wasn’t out Thanksgiving binging.

Except for Monday night, which was just wonderful enough to outshine a new Pokémon game as the best part of my long weekend. Yes, you read that right. And that totally awesome thing was the opportunity to go see Joe Satriani.

I first heard that he would be playing here back in the summer, but there was no way that I could justify dropping enough cash for tickets. I so desperately wanted to go, as I’ve been a Satch fan since the very first time I heard “Surfing With the Alien” and he was easily on my top 5 list of concerts to see. (The rest: Matt Good again, Tom Petty, Tonight Alive, and Go Radio)

A miracle happened though, and my in-laws bought me tickets for my birthday. It was way more than they should have spent, but it is quite possibly the best birthday gift I’ve ever received. At the very least it’s neck-and-neck with Life and an NES.

It doesn’t really need saying, but the concert was fantastic. I didn’t recognise a lot of the songs because I don’t have the new record (Unstoppable Momentum), but maybe that’s even better, as I got to experience a bunch of material for the first time live. “Satch Boogie” and “Surfing With the Alien” were in the set, and that’s all I could really ask for. And the encore… oh, the encore. Let’s just say that even my wedding day may not have been as emotional a day as the day I was actually in the damn crowd for “Crowd Chant.”

I don’t go to very many concerts, but the ones I go to are so damn good. And now that that’s all said, I have to get back to work. And by “work”, I mean “Pokémon.” Because I totally don’t type these things out at work.

Pop-Time (S’mores)

So as it turns out, my Pop-Tarts review videos are pretty popular! Not like, a million views popular, but a bunch of them have gotten over 100 views, and that’s more than I expect anything I put on YouTube to accomplish. I mean sure, a bunch of that can be web-bots, but a bunch of actual blood-and-guts people who I know are fans and have let me know that they eagerly await every new entry, so good for me. I have all the happys.

This is coming at the perfect time too, because I’ve been slipping into the Why-Do-I-Even-Bothers a lot lately re: producing web content, and getting first-hand praise for a thing I create really makes it all worth it. Hell, if even only one person told me that they dig the Pop-Tarts vids, I’d be delighted to no end. Now I just need to find an audience for this blog crap and my LP videos and I’m set. Unfortunately, interest in one of my ventures does not seem to spill over into the others. Oh well!

Anyway, to celebrate, here’s the most popular episode Ryan’s Pop-Tarts Review to date, embedded right in the page for your not-leaving-this-tab pleasure!

Oh, and if you like ’em too, follow me on Twitter (@TheRyanDS) to make sure you catch each episode ASAP.

Canada Day 2013

Canada Day is a pretty important day for me. Not because I’m some sort of super-patriot or anything, but rather just because I thrive on traditions and nostalgia. Seriously, I’m fairly dependent on doing the same things over and over forever because they’re safe and comfortable. I’m fully aware of this, and I wouldn’t ever want to change it about me. Who needs excitement and variety when you can just enjoy the things you already know that you love?

That said, anyone who knows me will have a pretty good idea of where I am and what I’m doing at any given time during the Canada Day weekend. Or, at least one day of the Canada Day weekend. It rolls out a little differently each year, but all the pieces are usually the same. That said, I still feel compelled to write about my Canada Day adventure because it’s one of my favourite days of the year. It even beats out my birthday now that I’m old and don’t get presents any more.

This year was the biggest Canada Day change-up in, oh, probably the last six years or so. The obvious change, of course, being 2008 when my wife and I started dating. That was also the year that my grandparents sold their cottage and moved to the city, which may have changed Canada Day more than anything. Important because that was the year my family stopped doing the usual Canada Day stuff, but luckily the tradition lives on because my wife’s family has always attended the same festivities that mine used to.

Oh, and the images are clickable if you want to see bigger versions. Though why you’d want to see a super-sized version of the crack through my windshield or crappy pictures of fireworks is beyond me.

Continue reading Canada Day 2013

Be excellent to each other

I received this in my work email inbox on Wednesday afternoon, and I’ve never wished anything harder than that I was the one responsible for it. Alas, I only dream of being able to come up with anything so radical as this.

I was inspired to draw this thing though.

Don’t ask me how I went from Bill & Ted to Sixteen Candles. My mind works in mysterious ways.

Home Again

Talking Time regular Loki started up an Earthbound Let’s Play back in January. I was very excited about it because Earthbound (yes, that’s a reason), and because I couldn’t stand to wait the months between updates, I decided to take things into my own hands and just play the damn game myself.

It’s been some time since I last played Earthbound, and it’s one of those games that gets better every time I go back to it. This time around, it’s mostly because I’ve figured the game out. In all my previous runs, I always had a ton of trouble making any progress. It would always end with me grinding for levels because the enemies were too strong. Only now do I realize that it was only so hard because I was playing the wrong way; I never used to make good use of my character’s non-physical attacks.

The way I used to play, I would simply horde all my PP for bosses, which made the areas leading up to those bosses super-tough. The secret is apparently that if you just play through the game making liberal use of magic psychic powers, you’ll pretty much always be at the level you need to be, and while it can still be tough, it’s so much easier than trying to get by with just the Bash/Shoot command. Buying bottle rockets and bombs for Jeff is also a great strategy, and a perfect use for all the extra money that will pile up when you’re not constantly staying at hotels to heal up.

There’s another thing that’s really struck me about Earthbound this time around though, and it something a lot more subtle: Ness’ homesickness. If you spend too much time in-game without returning to Ness’ house or calling his mom, he will contract an invisible status effect which will cause him to waste turns in battle. It’s not something that’s ever announced at all; there’s no message and Ness’ sprite doesn’t change. You won’t know until Ness starts spending his turns in battle reminiscing about home.

Now, this might sound like a horrible thing to put in a video game. And you know, there was a time when I might have agreed with you. But now I can truly understand that it’s another essential thread woven into the beautiful tapestry celebrating life, love, and humanity that is Earthbound. See, I’ve been a little down over the past month, and I’ve really had no idea why. Life has had its ups and downs, but I like to think that I’m a pretty well-adjusted person and I’ve long since learned how to cope with the hardships that life can throw your way. Growing up and moving out hasn’t been easy, but I’m managing and I’m happy to be starting my own life. So when I spend a whole weekend laying on the couch feeling down and not doing any of the things I like, I kinda start to wonder what’s getting to me.

When Ness gets homesick in Earthbound, the quick fix is to use a chick (the baby bird kind) on him. Now, a chick is not an item you’re likely to have in your inventory. It’s one of the few time-sensitive items in the game, and if you carry one around for too long it will grow up into a fairly useless chicken. The chick will only stave off homesickness for a while though; to fully cure the condition, Ness has to talk to his mom. Whether by calling her on the phone or traveling all the way back home, talking to Ness’ mom will remove the homesickness, or reset the counter if Ness hasn’t actually become homesick yet.

I’ll be the first one to stand up and say that I don’t talk to my parents enough. There have been stretches since I moved out where I haven’t even talked to them on the phone for roughly two weeks. My mom talks to her mother almost every single day. When I lived at home, I thought that was crazy, and I knew that wasn’t a thing I was going to do. But I kinda get it now. Because I have been homesick. I never thought a video game status condition could imitate real life so closely, but when I was in the darkest of my days, just calling my mom immediately made me feel better. Spending the day at my parents’ house was even more comforting.

Of course, in real life homesickness doesn’t just have an =false state, so it’s been an ongoing battle for a while now. I’d never been homesick before I moved out, so it wasn’t something I’d ever considered that I could be, mostly because it just seems like something made up to write songs about and simulate humanity in fictional characters. But it’s real, and it’s a lot more affecting than I ever would have thought. In Earthbound, if you talk to a doctor when Ness is homesick, he says “What a sad look in your eyes… you, the boy in a red cap. You must be homesick. That’s nothing you need to be ashamed of. Anybody who is on a long trip will miss home. In this case, the best thing to do is to call home and hear your mom’s voice.” It’s advice that I never thought much of when I was nine years old, but I find it especially poignant now.

In the end, I think it’s good that I’ve had this experience though. The most obvious benefit is that it has taught me to make sure to keep my family close. It’s also nice to know that Earthbound has helped me to learn a little bit about myself, and that I’ve been able to forge an even deeper connection with one of my favourite video games. Maybe that sounds weird, but Earthbound is more than just a game. It’s an experience. It’s a whirlwind of emotion and nostalgia. It’s a reminder that sometimes the most important thing in the world can be the sound of your mother’s voice.