Category: Zombies

A dream of sweet illusion

Okay, I’ll admit it. I blew it. On the last damn day too. But hey, it was Christmas Eve, and I had absolutely no time to do any blogging. So let’s just be happy that we got a solid twenty-three Days of Materialism. I did a lot better than the last two years anyway!

Christmas was pretty rad too. Aside from the ginormous day-before snowfall and subsequent driving through said snowfall, of course. I got most of the stuff I wanted, and tons more because I’m a spoiled little shit. But I spent more than half as much as I received (probably) so I’m thinking we can call it even maybe? The main thing to consider here is that I got Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, and it’s everything Tomm promised it would be. Well, maybe not in the way I perceived it would be, but it’s still awesome! I also got The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, but I haven’t played it yet because I’m finishing up my second playthrough of Phantom Hourglass, which I don’t hate nearly as much as everyone else. And I bought Pokémon Rumble with the one (shame, people!) Nintedo Points card I received, and the full version is even more addictive than the demo! Hooray! And finally, Z sent me Zombies Ate My Neighbours, which is still great, but I need someone to play it with.

Also I got a shitload of clothes and a bunch of movies and a sweet RC helicopter, but those don’t really fit the theme of this blog, which has been “talking about a video game once a month” lately. Sad. Here’s hoping that this new year will bring back the variety, creativity, and volume of content that this stupid site used to have before I started dating.

You call this a good time? I just call it a trend

Having spent a little bit more time with Wii Fit Plus, I can safely say that my first-night impressions were pretty spot-on. I’ve played all the new games now, and they range from totally rad to pretty fun. The obstacle course is the clear winner, being an adrenaline-fueled race to the end of a curiously Mario-esque course of platforms and hazards. The sonwball fight and skateboarding are pretty awesome too, and even the hip-shaking math game is a blast (particularly when watching others flail around wildly). Yeah, best $20 I spent last week.

Or, well, maybe not so much. It’s hard to say. The girlfriend and I also went to see “Zombieland” last week, and it was mind-blowingly epic. Everything about the movie was totally lovable, from the slow-motion zombie mania intro credits to the special guest cameo (who I will not spoil if you haven’t seen it yet). It was a barrel of laughs from start to finish, and it didn’t get all serious and depressing at the end like “Shaun of the Dead”. I mean, tensions did reach a height at the climax (durrr), but the laughs didn’t leave to make room for drama. They shared. And I think that’s the lesson that the movie wants to teach us. Sharing is neat.

The thing that kind of threw me off for a bit though, is that I could swear that when I saw the trailer it had Michael Cera. And then I started watching the movie and I was all like “hey, that’s a different dude!” And I’m not saying I’m disappointed or anything, because honestly I think Jesse Eisenberg did a better job than Cera would have. I’m just a bit surprised that I could confuse the two like that. They’re maybe a little similar-looking I guess, but I’m pretty sure my brain is missing and/or replacing bits of information here and there on purpose lately. Oh well.

Basicaly, what I have to say is this: go see “Zombieland”. If you like funny things, you won’t be disappointed. Unless you’re the kind of person who thought “Land of the Lost” was hilarious, in which case I’m going to punch you in the throat.

TE Hits the Road: Fargo ’09

Hi all! Yeah, it’s yet another article about the once-again yearly trip I take down to Fargo/Grand Forks. I say once-again because there was a stretch in there for a few years where we didn’t go at all, but for the last three years, it’s been an essential part of summer. The only difference is that now, instead of going down with my family, it’s me and the woman. There are pros and cons for both parties, but I don’t really care who I go with. The Fargo/Grand Forks trip is the only summer staple I still have left, so I’m holding onto it as tight as I can.

That aside, I’ve decided that this year I’m just going to mash up all the pictures I took instead of trying to do anything more inspired with them. No categories, no long-winded stories, no character commentary. Nope. Just going to put them on the page and make some quick notes where I deem necessary.

Also there are tons of pictures,. Enjoy 😉

This is a cake. This is what Stephanie and I ate for breakfast. Actually I had a bowl of Reese Puffs cereal beforehand because she was taking a really long time to get to my house. But yeah, cake for breakfast. Woo!

We struck a deal before we left that she would drive there, and I would drive home. I wasn’t told until we’d arrived at the hotel, but apparently I had been voted to drive everywhere while we were in Fargo.

GPS. Lifesaver.

I bought a huge jawbreaker on a stick at the Duty-Free. It’s been ages since I’d had one of these bad boys, and I felt it was absolutely necessary. My mission was to finish it by the time we got home. I did one better and finished it before we were even back in Canada. The passport is there for scale.

She opted for the jawbreaker’s smaller cousin, the cherry Jelly Belly sucker.

I think I might have had a better chance of getting in here when I used to come down with my family. The girlfriend seems wholly opposed to entering a restaurant so garishly decorated. But we went to TGI Friday’s, so I don’t know. Maybe she’s got a fear of aliens?

I feel it’s important to mention that I used that baby pool to its full extent.

Our facilities. This is the most interesting photo ever.

Aah! Too much sunlight!

“Take one of me on the couch!”

“Now take one of me on the bed!”

See? TGI Friday’s. Hard on the eyes though it my be, no trip to the United States is complete without a stop in either here or Chili’s. I wish Canadian chains or those that extended into Canada knew how to make such wonderful fries.

Dear God! Six years with this camera and still I take blurry pictures! I’m a horribly lazy photographer.

So good.

Also awesome, but far less new to me.

For years, I’ve refused to believe that this DVD exists. Well ,outside Amazon, anyway. But I found it! I really found it! Now I can’t say Hot Topic never did anything for me.

More crap I bought. Teenage Zombies was ten bucks, and the rest I consider to be things absolutely essential for me to own. I was hunting Friday the 13th and American Dad Vol 4, but Ghostbusters Vol 1 came out of nowhere and made me the happiest girl in the world.

Like the trip to Fargo itself, no summer is complete without a small tub of Americone Dream.

TGI Friday’s was having a two-for-one burger day, and I had ordered a burger for dinner, so they gave me this second one to take home. I ate it that night and forcefully regretted eating two giant cheese-slathered burgers in one night. A task a younger me would ahve faced with aplomb.

The main dresser on our first morning. It’s covered in crap we bought and other such things. The Playstation 2 is there because I hate overpaying for movies I don’t really want to watch and every time I bring my DVD player I forget the remote.

Seriously. You’d think I would know how to take a not-blurry picture by now.

I usually grab a jug of Hawaiian puch on my southernly adventures, only this time I picked the “light” version. Trying to watch those calories…

West Acres mall. It’s huge, and wonderful. It’s probably the best mall ever. It’s not a lot better than Winnipeg’s biggest mall, but I only get to go there like once a year and I don’t get bored of it. Also I looooove Mrs. Fields’ cookies.

We went to the Lone Star Texas Grill on our second night. We’d never been there, but were pleasantly surprised. The steak I had was excellent (especially since I hadn’t had a steak for several weeks at that point), and there was a pail of peanuts on the table to keep me busy while we were waiting for the food to come.

That evening we ventured over into downtown Fargo, and on our way back, we ended up accidentally driving through some sort of classic car show-off night. Don’t know for sure what was going down, but we took a bunch of pictures.

I used the Fargo onion to determine that we were going the right way on the way back into the hotel/shopping part of the city.

I guess it’s just out of habit that I keep taking pictures of the Fargo TRU. We didn’t go in this year, but it looked just as sad as ever on the outside.

All packed up! I don’t subscribe to Nintendo Power anymore, but I felt like picking up an issue for old time’s sake. This one was the perfect candidate, because the only things I really want to read about are the new Mario & Luigi game and Wii Sports Resort.

This is how many towels we used over the course of two days.

I’m going to miss that wonderful continental breakfast buffet. It’s really the highlight of all my best hotel stays.

On our way home we stopped in Grand Forks to investigate the Columbia Mall among other shops. It’s just as boring as ever, if not moreso because they don’t even have the cookie place in the food court anymore.

Evidence that she does eat.

There was a completely random mailbox on the side of the road nearl Kohl’s. I felt that I should capture its soul incase it disappears between now and next year.

This makeup is all blurry! Let’s go somewhere else.

I bought these movies at Best Buy. Zombie Strippers is pretty hilarious, Zombie Diaries was disturbing, and Trailer Park of Terror-though I expected the most from it-was merely okay.

No, I did not buy Friady the 13th twice. I don’t know how it got into this picture. On the other hand, Jason X was five bucks and was the last missing piece in my collection, and the Elm Street four-pack was $10 and completed its own collection. Mallrats I couldn’t understand why I didn’t already own.

We hit Rock 30 games on the second night, and I picked these up there. I have no idea why in God’s name I had sold Donkey Kong, as it is one of the greatest original Game Boy games ever, and FF8 I own on PC, but would rather play through my PS2. I will not say how much I paid for either of these items. I will say that one was just a little more expensive than it should have been, and the other was hideously overpriced. I’ll let you come to your own conclusions.

And that’s pretty much it. Following in the general spirit of this “article”, I really don’t have much more to wrap up with, so I’ll leave it at that.

~FIN

I am the Taco King!

The woman and I took the yearly trip down to Fargo last Wednesday afternoon, and stayed until Friday night. It was a pretty paint-by-numbers expedition, but there were a few highlights. For one, we explored a bit farther than the shopping/hotel part of the city and checked out downtown Fargo a bit. It was actually pretty cool. We saw some interesting shops, a liberry, and we even got stuck in the middle of some kind of classic car show. It was a ton of fun, and of course, there was a ton of shopping to be had.

She’s been absolutely picture-crazy ever since she got a camera for her birthday, and I felt I needed to compete during this trip. I took a big handful of photos over the course of the two-and-a-half days, and my original intent was to take compelling pictures of strange, wonderful, or curious things and make an awesome gallery of intrigue. However, most of them ended up being of all the things I normally take pictures of. And my girlfriend. There are lots of her. Because, you know. Overall, I’d say her gallery wins. If only because it’s a lot bigger (though it should be noted that she wasn’t stuck with a crappy 16MB memory stick).

That gallery, while much more tepid than I’d hoped it would be, will be posted later this week. Today, I want to talk about the single video game I purchased during the trip: Teenage Zombies: Invasion of the Alien Brain Thingys. Yeah, it’s one of those Ninjabread Man scenarios where the title and theme seemed so awesome that I couldn’t resist. Fortunately, Teenage Zombies was only half the price of Ninjabread Man. Also, it isn’t horrible.

Developed by InLight Entertainment (who have apparently made a grand total of three games), Teenage Zombies is at first highly reminiscent of Super NES game The Lost Vikings. It’s a platform-puzzler which gives you three characters with unique abilities that will help you conquer your environments. Yeah. To be completely honest, if someone had told me about this game and compared it to The Lost Vikings, but with zombies, I would have ran out and bought it a year ago. The sad truth however, is that this game is not nearly as brilliant as its seventeen-years-older cousin.

I don’t want to be too harsh on TZ though, as it is a pretty fun game, and I expected much, much less for $10. The biggest complaint I have is that unlike its Nordic counterpart, TZ has you hot-swapping between zombies. The Lost Vikings had all three characters on-screen at once, and you’d often have to combine their skills to overcome the trickier puzzles. Hitting L or R to replace zombies when one isn’t doing the trick isn’t as satisfying as teaming them up would be. The levels are still pretty clever, requiring almost constant switching of zombies. The first few chapters will seem like a breeze, but about halfway through the game I found myself dying several times before making it to the next checkpoint. And it never really felt cheap or dull either. The game is constantly giving you new power-ups, but very rarely tells you when, where, or in what order you need to use them.

The biggest problem I have with the game is that it’s a bit light on enemies. There are rats, and brains. A couple different types of brains, but nothing radically different. I suppose it’s more of a boon that combat is simple though, because what is there is a bit rough. Attack animations are slow, and most of the time you can only hit one enemy at a time, regardless of how many are within your range. Sometimes your hits don’t even connect at all. The other thing I have a minor complaint about are the stylus mini-games. They’re boring and (almost) frustrating to control. Fortunately, you’re only forced to play each once, and you can move on regardless of your performance. The one mini-game that is fun is the one where you put a zombie back together by dragging his parts around. It’s really simple, but a neat distraction.

Overall, I’ve got to say that Teenage Zombies was a pretty good buy. For $10 anyway. It’s soaked up a few hours of my life, and I don’t regret spending either the money or the time on it. The gameplay itself is a bit repetitive, but fun enough to keep you going until you get to the end, and that’s really the prize itself. The cutscenes are hilarious, and the banter between the Big Brain and his No. 1 is entertaining enough to give players reason to keep plodding through to the end, even when you have to restart a level five or six times until you hit the right combination of powers. Definitely worth a look.

You do whatever they offer

I just finished reading this book the other day. Monster Island. It’s hands-down the greatest novel I’ve read in years. Although I should note that I’ve read approximately two novels since finishing high school, so you should take that declaration with a grain of salt.

But really though! It’s compelling! And exciting! You’ll probably shrug it off and ignore there rest of this post when I tell you it’s a zombie novel though. Yes, my love for zombies has grown past the confines of video games and movies and has now expanded to the world of literature.

This is actually the third zombie-related book I’ve read recently, though the last ones -The Zombie Survival Guide and Zombie CSU- were more reference books than anything else. Monster Island though, is a full-fledged novel with characters and plot development and all that good stuff.

I won’t bother going into the plot, but I feel it’s very necessary to highlight one of the parts of Monster Island that I found most interesting. There are essentially two main characters in this novel, and one is named Gary. Gary is a zombie. Sort of. He infected himself with the Epidemic, and hooked himself up to a ventilator and a dialysis machine, keeping his brain intact even when he died from the illness. Thus, while all other zombies are brainless eating machines, Gary’s brain stays fully intact, saving his place as the smarted dead man in the world. It’s really neat how Gary develops as an intelligent monster, how he learns the ins and outs of being dead, and how he interacts with the other characters. Gary is quickly developed as a sympathetic character, beaten down by the fact that if he’d waited a couple days he would have been rescued, but things slowly start to change once he realizes that being dead makes one very hungry. I won’t go into any further detail, but at the end, I still felt kinda bad for Gary. He was very different from the dead man we met at the beginning of the story, but there was still a certain sadness about his predicament and his inability to master the art of being undead. Sorry, unliving.

But there’s much more to enjoy here than the sorrowful tale of a half-zombie! The other main character is equally (if not more by the end) likeable, and even most of the secondary and ancillary characters have plenty of, well, character. The plot itself is pretty original, and serves up a few light twists. Nothing that will change your life, but more than enough to keep you anxious to turn the next page.

The book is relatively short, clocking in at a mild 282 pages, and the chapters are a scrawny 4 to 7 pages long, making for tasty, coffee-break-sized reading morsels. If my language is confusing, I like these attributes. I don’t feel like reading a gigantic tome of a novel, and I hate setting a book down in the middle of a chapter. If the shortness of it is unattractive in any way, there are two sequels, Monster Nation and Monster Planet, but I haven’t even read summaries of those two yet (though I’ll say that I’m very much looking forward to them!). Monster Island is definitely a great way to spenad a little time, and I honestly haven’t read any other book in my spare time that I would recommend more. So hit the book store (or library if you’re cheap/uncertain) and pick up a copy as soon as you can.

Death is just a heartbeat away

Last weekend was my girlfriend’s birthday weekend, masterminded by none other than me, and it was quite the awesome weekend. On Friday night, I took her out to Stereo to go dancing. While I still don’t understand (or particularly enjoy) the club scene, she had an absolute blast, so it was well worth it. On Saturday we managed to round up a couple others so we could finally play the Clue game I bought her for Christmas. I’ve never played Clue before, and while it was a lot of fun, it’s way too easy if you’re only playing with three people. We also watched a shitload of movies. That you can pretty much take for granted, because watching movies is the activity we spend the most time on. Right now, I would like to share my opinions on those movies.

The first was her pick from a trip to Blockbuster on Saturday night: Room 6. Personally, I didn’t think much of it. It started well enough, but then degenerated into madness, and not the good kind. Shit just kept happening and nobody ever explained any of it. I watched the cast/crew behind the scenes featurette afterward, and that gave me some answers, but didn’t make me like the movie any more. It was like a boring, confusing version of Jacob’s Ladder. I mean, Jacob’s Ladder left some things ambiguous on purpose, but it at least gave you enough information that you could have fun thinking up and discussing your own theories on what was happening. Room 6 was not as thoughtful. There was a super-creepy little girl though.

We rented three movies at the Blockbuster, and it being her birthday, Steph chose the second one as well. Much more enjoyable than her first pick was Vacancy 2: The First Cut, the prequel to 2007’s Vacancy. It wasn’t a life-changing direct-to-DVD experience, but there were some bright spots, like a man-on-fire. I’ll go easy on pretty much any movie that provides me with a scene where someone is running around on fire. I also give it points because while it’s a prequel, the plot isn’t entirely predictable, and does contain a couple little surprises. For example, I thought it would be the same bad guys and motel as from the first movie. It was not so. The first one was better though. If nothing else, because Frank Whaley’s character was way more entertaining than David Moscow’s.

I got to pick out a movie too, for the sake of fairness, and I think it’s obvious that my choice was my favourite. I was jumping with glee when I saw that Blockbuster was stocking Dead and Breakfast, a movie that I had seen previews for, but had never found while browsing through movies at local stores. I absolutely had to rent it, and I loved it. Dead and Breakfast parades itself around as a zombie movie, but it isn’t really. The monsters are more posessed corpses than zombies, but that leads to much hilarity, like when the leader “zombie” uses the decapitated head of one of his friends as a puppet and frequently talks to it. There’s also a scene where all the “zombies” start dancing. Obviously, it’s the “Thriller” dance, but to an original song. Anyway, it’s hilarious movie, totally over-the-top in many places (especially gore), and I couldn’t recommend it more. I’m actively on the hunt for this one now.

The last movie is one I picked up when we went shopping on Sunday afternoon. I picked up the two pack of Nightwatch and Daywatch because I’d heard good things about them on more than one occasion. We watched Nightwatch that night, and I wasn’t disappointed. It was a really cool movie, and had a fairly interesting plot. I haven’t explained any other plots, so I won’t start here. I will, however, point out that it was a bit confusing. The plot seemed like bits were missing and maybe they spent too much time with subplots than explaining what was going on in the main story. They did a really great job with the subtitles though, as they kind of blended them into the movie to make them less distracting. Overall Nightwatch was neat and original, but not perfect. I’m hoping that the sequel is even better.

Don’t you know

Hey, um, sorry about last night’s weak-ass post. There was just a lot going on, and blogging was really the last thing I should have been doing, so it had to be quick. But moving on…

Another Thursday, another book to review. This week we’re looking at Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide. I’m not going to beat around the bush here, it’s exactly what it sounds like; a small book filled with ways to avoid becoming lunch should the living dead rise.

The book is placed in the humour section of most bookstores, and rightly so, because it really wouldn’t fit anywhere else. The only thing I should mention it that it’s not explicitly funny. I’ve read a lot of the big internet-loved books like The Alphabet of Manliness and My Tank is Fight!, and while the latter wasn’t supposed to be explicitly funny either, it did make me laugh a few times. This book, on the other hand, finds its humour in entirely conceptual ways. By that, I mean that the ideas are kind of funny but the authour isn’t cracking any jokes.

In any case, if you think zombies are cool, or are just interested in how to survive should they attack, I think you’ll find this a good read. I enjoyed it, but I’m a zombie fanatic, so there’s an obvious level of bias there. Just don’t mock me and then come running to me for help if you find yourself being chased by zombies. I could save you, but what makes you think I would want to?

Mass Review Time – Fargo ’08

 

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It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these mass review articles (usually they’re just blogged). More importantly, it’s been a while since I’ve done an article at all. Much to my own dismay, a cheap mass review is not way to worm my way back into the game, but it’s all I’ve really got the gumption to work on at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to write articles anymore, it’s just that there are so many other things I want to do more. And even more things I need to be doing.

But I digress. Blabbing about why I’m no longer writing full-length pieces is not today’s topic! But rather I’m here to discuss money well spent? I decided to end that sentence with a question mark because at this point I still can’t gauge the actual quality of most of the products below. I just bought most of them through good word-of-mouth and personal tastes. In fact, I’m pretty sure that at least a couple would be considered complete garbage by the general population, but we’ll see!

So the bonus theme here is that I picked up all this stuff when my girlfriend and I went away to Fargo(, North Dakota) for the weekend. I did a little photo gallery with commentary of last year’s trip south of the border (see sidebar), so maybe you’ll prefer that one if you’re looking for an article with a little more meat on its bones. Also, certainty. This here article, as of this writing, is pretty much all assumptions. It’s built on the hopes and dreams of millions! …Or maybe just me.

• Item #1

Tesla – Five Man Acoustical Jam

Okay, I know said it was all assumptions from here on in, but I’m starting with something I know is awesome: Tesla. I’ve been listening to Tesla for many, many years now, and sadly, I’ve only ever been able to find one of their CDs in any local stores. Thus, I often take it upon myself to scour the multimedia-type shops south of the border for anything I can find by them. This time I got real lucky, finding the two Tesla discs I was really gunning for. Five Man Acoustical Jam is obviously enough, a recording of a live acoustic show. It’s one of very few Tesla albums that I haven’t downloaded, so jackpot!

In other news, it’s completely awesome. Tesla is a great band, and they made their name through their acoustic prowess, so the only logical conclusion is that this album must rule. And rule it does. Don’t know what else there is to say other than I love it. Score: A

• Item #2

Tesla – The Great Radio Controversy

I know it seems silly that I only bought two Tesla CDs while I was down there, and now that I really think about it, I probably am really silly for it. I mean, I probably could have completed the full discography, but I stopped looking after I picked up these two.

Unlike its lovably live cousin above, The Great Radio Controversy is a studio album, but that means little. The Tesla-loving community largely believes this to be their finest work, and I’m not one to argue. It’s everything that makes Tesla great (minus the “awesome live performers” bit), and while it may not rock quite as hard as Psychotic Supper, it rocks just as well or better. Two thumbs up. Score: A

• Item #3

Mega Man Star Force 2

Yeah, I know you’re groaning right now and about to skip this paragraph, but that’s quite alright. You put up with more than enough of my Mega Man nonsense that you deserve a break from it if you can find one here or there. So go ahead and move on to the next item if you’ve gotten sick of hearing me rave about Mega Man.

For those that care, Star Force is the dual-screened big brother to the MegaMan Battle Network games. It seems like it’ll be following the same “new chapter every summer” release schedule that Battle Network had. I played the first one almost to completion last summer (I didn’t beat the final optional boss), and I was surprised to see this one in stores because honestly, I had no idea it was out. so I picked it up, and I’ve got to say, it’s most certainly not as big a step up from the first as Battle Network 2 was to its predecessor. I mean, I’m enjoying the game, but it hasn’t offered anything that improves on the first game. Well, not enough to make it feel exciting and new anyway. Score: C+

• Item #4

Etrian Odyssey 2: Heroes of Lagaard

As soon as I’d finally stopped flip-flopping on whether I wanted the first Etrian Odyssey or not, it had long since become impossible to find at retail. I was afraid EO2 would see a similar fate (despite being a new release), but after searching each and every store that sells video games in Fargo, I gave up and checked GameStop. As much as I generally loathe the GameStop/EB chain, it has to be said that they do actually carry Atlus games, and as a fan of Atlus’ niche titles, that scores some decent points in my book.

Anyway, I haven’t actually had a chance to plug it in and start playing yet (probably because I’m awasting all sorts of time writing about shit I buy), but I’ve read more than enough on the subject to be more or less familiar with what I’m getting into. The Youngest One bought it too (before I had a chance to advise him otherwise), probably because he thought “Ooh, an RPG. I should buy it”, and promptly got his ass whupped and put it right down. I doubt he’ll be spending too much time on this one, but someday when I’m in the middle of fewer games, I’ll crack this one open and spend a little quality time with it.

Edit : Decided I’d just forego finishing some other games so I could sink my teeth into this one. I’m not regretting it. Etrian Odyssey II is even better than I’d imagined. This is a real horror game, because you’re always on the edge of your seat, wondering if you’ll be able to survive the next fight. Also, even the slightest progress feels like you’ve made a huge accomplishment, so yeah. props to that. Love it. Score: A

• Item #5

Day of the Dead

No, it’s not Romero’s classic with a new cover. It’s one of those horrid “re-imaginings”, or so I assume. At least on the back cover it said it’s inspired by Romero’s Day of the Dead, so we can hope it at least pays a little homage to the original. In any case, it’s a zombie movie, so it most definitely belongs in my collection.

I should let you know that I fully expect this to be completely awful. That’s how these movies are. The characters are stupid and unlikable, the plot makes little to no sense and there’s buckets and buckets of gore. Yeah it sounds like a disaster, but that’s exactly what I’m looking for. I enjoy a good zombie movie, but I love a zombie movie that makes you want to root for the zombies. It’s brainless (in a manner of speaking) fun, and that’s really what I want in movies. So despite the fact that it’s defacing a classic, I have high-ish hopes for this one.

Edit : Yeah. So I watched it, and it’s not so great. It has almost nothing in common with the original, though if you concentrate real hard you can find a couple loose parallels between the two. But yeah, it’s not even a fun gore-fest. Just low-grade zombie schlock. When Nick Cannon is the best part of a movie, you know that you’ve got a bit of a train wreck on your hands. I’m a little let down by this one, honestly. Score: D+

• Item #6

The Dead Pit

As I was perusing the horror section at Fargo’s Best Buy (why doesn’t our Best Buy sort movies by genre? It’s so much easier…), and I saw that Day of the Dead remake thing, and then right beside it, The Dead Pit caught my eye. The cover didn’t really get the idea of zombies across to me, but reading the synopsis on the back confirmed my suspicions: zombies!

Much to my delight, this is one of those 80’s zombie flicks that pretends to have a cohesive plot. By that of course, I mean it’s more than “OMG zombiez. Let’s try to survive!” Something about a mad scientist attacking a mental ward with a horde of zombies? I dunno and I’m too lazy to go check the case, but it sounded like a riot at the time. I honestly think this could be as unpredictably lovable as Hellraiser. Score: B (pending)

• Item #7

Chucky: The Killer DVD Collection

I’ll level with ya, I’ve only ever seen the first Child’s Play movie, and even then, I was still a little squeamish at the time and covered my eyes a lot. I did like the movie though, and I’ve always wanted to at least see the first two sequels. Bride of Chucky isn’t exactly a priority, and Seed of Chucky seems like they’re just taking it too far. Alas.

I’ve been putting off buying this collection for a while now because I knew that not having the first one would drive me bonkers (OCD, you see), but it actually hasn’t been grating on my nerves too much. It’s not like the movie isn’t on DVD or anything either, I just can’t find the damn thing anywhere. Oh well. I’m sure some day I’ll be in the right place at the right time, and it will be mine. Or I’ll have forgotten my wallet and smack myself in the forehead. Score: B+ (pending)

• Item #8

Bruce and Lloyd: Out of Control

I’ll say this now, because it’s the most important note here: I was promised a lot more Patrick Warburton than I got from this purchase, and it makes me ever so slightly disappointed. Other than that, good times!

If you haven’t seen Get Smart yet, you’re really missing out on something. I loved it so much, I ran out an bought this straight-to-DVD supplemental material without even reading a review first. Fortunately, it’s not nearly as awful as most straight-to-DVD stuff, but it’s still nowhere near as great as the main movie. Then again, I never expected it to be. I’m just confused as to why exactly Steve Carell couldn’t make at least a cameo. Anne Hathaway shows up in one scene, so why do we get no Steve Carell? Ah well. If Get Smart was at the “hilarious” level, I’d probably only rate this one as “silly” at best, but it’s still worth a look if you liked the source material. Score: B

Also, I should mention that I bought some other stuff, like shorts and foodstuffs, but I decided to cut them out because clothes are boring (do not tell my girlfriend I said that, she bought clothes almost exclusively) and junk food isn’t something that really needs to be logged into the annals of internet history. At least, not any of the food I bought. It was all pretty much run-of-the-mill junk food that a) isn’t available in Canada or b) is ridiculously expensive in Canada. So yeah. That’s the end then. Good night.