Drawing some things

You may have heard of the super-popular new iPhone game Draw Something. If not, I guess the best way to describe it would be like a casual edition of Pictionary. It’s a two-player game where you alternate drawing a thing and guesing the other person’s drawing of a thing. That’s really all there is to it, and it’s fantasticaly fun and addictive.

It’s also a very universal game. When I introducted it to her, the woman and I sat in bed playing together for roughly and hour and a half. And she still picks it up as often as I do.

In each round, you’re supplied with three random words to choose from and draw. There are no categories provided, but you’ll get a choice between an easy, medium, or hard word. Easy and normal words are usually stupid things like “worm,” “hockey” or “green.” The hard words can be downright challenging though, especially since they’re usually celebrity or character names.

The one to the right there particularly blew me away. I’ve had a few instances of “Mario” and “Koopa,” but never something as nichey as a relatively unpopular Final Fantasy hero. Oh, and Zidane is (debatably) the main character of Final Fantasy IX, just FYI.  I was really, really excited to try my hand at touch-drawing Zidane, but alas, the name showed up in a game I was playing against a girl who probably doesn’t even know what Final Fantasy is, nevermind the hero of one of the most underappreciated chapters. I could have drawn it, but I prefer to play the game so that people are able to guess what I’ve drawn. It’s more fun to keep up a long win streak.

Now imagine my disappointment when I Googled it and discovered that Zidane is also the name of an infamous soccer player. I suppose I’ll never get the opportunity to draw a chocobo now…

Tiny mountain out of a tiny molehill

Yes, I still “play” Tiny Tower. I now have the biggest tower of all my Game Center friends, but I still can’t put the thing down. I have to build it higher!

There is one thing that really bugs me about it though. See the really clean, consistent visual style? Yeah, nice and pixely. Now look at the stars. Crisp, clean, and not at all matching the graphical style of everything else in the game. Geez. Next thing you know the clouds are going to be made out of polygons…

Run, rat, run

So I was playing the second chapter of Dragon Fantasy (which is fairly brutal at the the outset, BTW), and I came across the first boss, the rat king. While fighting the boss, I accidentally hit the “run” command for one of my characters, and to my surprise, we were able to escape the battle!

This is not a new feature to RPGs, but it is an exceedingly rare one. In fact, the only other game that I know for sure lets you run from boss fights is Chrono Cross. I’m fairly sure Final Fantasy XIII and its sequel let you run too, but I’m not certain.

Dragon Fantasy even adds a wrinkle in here: if you run away from this boss, he up and leaves! I was shocked when I saw this, and a little disappointed that all that delicious XP just walked away. The big rat does the same thing if you best him in battle, but I thought it neat that if you don’t want to fight him you don’t have to.

I haven’t tested with other bosses yet, but it’s definitely something I’ll be keeping in mind as I progress. Is this an intended feature or a bug? If you can run from all bosses, do any other ones leave? What an exciting mystery!

Pocket homage

Let’s take a break from talking about Final Fantasy and instead talk about a game that is a throwback to Final Fantasy… Sort of.

So Dragon Fantasy, at least at first, is really more a throwback to the original Dragon Warrior on NES. In fact, it’s structured almost exactly like Dragon Warrior, the biggest difference being that you cannot see the enemy’s castle from your starting point. It was kind of a big thing in Dragon Warrior, but video games on the whole generally don’t have those brilliant, subtle touches anymore. But that’s besides the point.

The quest begins with you hunting down a person of interest (DW: Princess Gwaelin, DF: woodsman) and bringing them back to the castle. Then you go on a fetch quest to collect legendary armor so that you will be strong enough to face the final boss. Each one has little differences of course, but the basic story progression is very similar.

The games are mechanically almost identical too. You’re a one-hero party that fights one enemy at a time. You level up and buy new equipment to get stronger, and are granted new spells at set levels. The spells are even all pretty much the same as in DW. The only way to have any idea what to do or where to go next is to grill every person in town and wander the world until you find new areas. The only noticeable difference is that bridges don’t denote where the random encounters get harder in Dragon Fantasy.

What sets Dragon Fantasy apart from its forebears is its sense of humour. While Dragon Warrior played it pretty straight and Final Fantasy was (probably) unintentionally goofy, Dragon Fantasy works every angle, from puns to pop-culture references to parody. A lot of the story dialogue is spent on making fun of the hero, Ogden, for being a washed-up old has-been.

 Of course, a retro-styled RPG with a sense of humour is nothing new. Breath of Death VII immediately springs to mind. Dragon Fantasy, as far as humour goes, is probably the best so far. I enjoyed Breath of Death more for its unique mechanics and genre subversions than its sense of humour.

Being that it hews so close to the Dragon Warrior template, Dragon Fantasy requires quite a bit of grinding. The only time where you probably won’t spend time walking back and forth fighting mooks is right at the end. Mostly because you won’t be able to clear the last castle in one (or even two, probably!) run, but also because the enemies there drop huge gobs of experience. Fortunately, like its major inspiration, Dragon Fantasy is pretty forgiving when it comes to death, and just puts you back at the last church you visited with all your XP and treasure intact, and your gold stash cut in half.

There are multiple quests in Dragon Fantasy, with more being added over time (free, not DLC). I’m not sure if you can choose from any right at the beginning, but once you’ve completed the first quest, you’re free to play the rest in any order you like. I’ve only just completed the initial game myself, and I was going to skip ahead to the Minecraft “homage” quest, but after watching the intro cutscene, it seems that the chapters have separate but interwoven stories that are leading into one big finale, so I decided that I’d play them in order. Then I started having flashbacks of Final Fantasy IV: The After Years.

Despite everything I’ve written here, the only thing that really matters when you consider buying Dragon Fantasy is this: do you like the original Dragon Warrior? If you do, this game will make your day. If not, I’d recommend staying far away from it.

The return of X, again

It hasn’t been a thing lately, but if you’ve combed through much of my site’s backlog, one of the most prominent themes is me being a huge MegaMan fanboy. In recent years, the love has waned a bit, mostly due to Capcom not really doing anything interesting with the franchise. MegaMan 9 and MegaMan 10 were fantastic throwbacks to the golden age of gaming, but that’s really about it. The MegaMan Star Force were just gussied-up versions of the dried-up Battle Network series, and the cancellation of MegaMan Legends 3 was a huge blow to the small but loyal contingent of fans of that particular series. MegaMan Universe just never interested me.

So I guess really the best thing that Capcom could do was port one of the best MegaMan games to iOS. MegaMan X was a landmark game that hewed closely to the tried-and-true MegaMan formula, but pushed it to the limit, making the game faster and more exciting. All these years later, it’s still one of my favourite games ever, and by far my most-played SNES title. Why wouldn’t I want to play it on my phone?

Oh, right, because Capcom released a near-perfect remake of it on PSP some years back. MegaMan: Maverick Hunter X was the reason I bought a PSP, and it’s easily the definitive version of the game. MegaMan X’s iOS port is mostly faithful to the SNES original, but you’ll notice that the graphics have been all smoothed out to help make it look a little more contemporary. They certainly look nice, and the sleeker presentation is in no way a knock against the game, but to me, X looks a little weird when not presented in chunky SNES pixels.

A handful of the other major changes are definitely for the worse. The most blatant one being that you’re playing a SNES game with a touch screen. We all know how much I hated Secret of Mana‘s iOS port for that. And Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2. My opinion is the same as it was when I wrote those posts: touch screen controls are not a good idea for games designed for buttons. MegaMan X makes a little concession to that end by giving you an easy mode, but if you don’t know every pixel of this game like I do, the rough controls will probably cause you more than a few pains.

One of the really cool things about MegaMan X -and it’s something that didn’t even carry into the sequels- is that by defeating certain stages, you’d trigger environmental changes in other stages. The most prominent being that the lava in Flame Mammoth’s stage turns to stone if you’ve beaten Chill Penguin. Most of the other effects are less obvious and less functional. But that doesn’t matter, because they don’t happen here. Flame Mammoth’s stage? Lava’s always burnin’. Spark Mandrill’s stage? The airship never crashes. So on and so forth.

The one upside here is that since the heart tank in Flame Mammoth’s level used to be on the lava and only accessible after freezing the place (by defeating Chill Penguin), it’s now placed on the floor directly above where it used to sit. It takes absolutely no effort to gain it now, but it does cut back on the amount of backtracking you need to do to 100% the game (you need the Fire Wave to get the heart tank in Chill Penguin’s level, meaning you’d have to replay one of the stages).

Another concession to level design was made to the iOS version of the game. Sort of. Before, stages were single, smooth scrolling maps. Not they’ve been chopped into bits, with stark transitions between screens. The transitions don’t really bring down the value of the game, but they’re a little jarring to me since I’ve probably spent more time in these levels than in my own backyard.

Lastly, while this version of MegaMan X sports some slightly updated graphics, the music is ripped directly from the SNES version. This is awesome, because MegaMan X has a terrific soundtrack. The remixes found in the PSP remake are also available. The catch is that you have to buy them. With real money, like. It’s not really a big deal because the original tracks are better, but I couldn’t help dropping the two bucks to have the remixes available. You can buy all the weapons, armor parts and heart/sub tanks too, if you’re retarded and can’t find them for yourself. That’s kind of a waste of money though.

It does get better though! One of the things that really stuck out to me was that most of the dialogue has been rewritten, and it’s not too bad! I didn’t play Maverick Hunter X enough to know if it’s the same dialogue as from that version, but it’s sure different from the SNES original. Some of the best corny lines (see the screenshot above) have been retained though, which is just gravy. The “hadoken” scene is rewritten almost entirely, and it is magnificent (see screenshot below). The odd thing is that the dialogue font is tiny and a full paragraph barely fills up half of the text box. Not really a problem, but it stands out as kind of an odd design decision.

Speaking of odd design decisions, there are no extra lives in this particular port. At first I thought I had just remembered the extra life locations incorrectly, but I know for a fact that there is one not far above where you find the helmet parts in Storm Eagle’s stage. It’s not there. Instead, you just get two lives every time you begin a stage. Not that you should really need more than two lives to beat any single stage in MegaMan X, but it’s just another weird little change.

Also included are Game Center achievements. Being an admitted achievement whore, this makes me very happy. The highway stage even has its own set of achievements (which oddly do not count in Game Canter) that unlock pieces of a puzzle as you earn them. Most of the GC cheevos are stupidly easy to get (Defeat Chill Penguin, Defeat Chill Penguin with his weakness, Defeat Storm Eagle, etc.), but a couple are genuine achievements. Beating all the robot masters without taking a hit would be pretty breezy on the SNES, but with touch controls? Super hard.

Capcom saw fit to make a handful of other additions to the game. The aforementioned easy mode is counterbalanced by an unlockable hard mode, or so I think. It’s still a grey [locked] square, and I assume it will come in an update. Hopefully not in exchange for moneys. There is a new ranking mode that contains time and score attack modes, and a survival mode (which may or may not be a boss rush) which are mostly there as an excuse to have Game Center leaderboards. The score attack and survival games are also [locked], and I’m not sure if they’re going to be in an update or if I just need to clear all the time attack stages to unlock them. I really don’t care enough to actually play time attack. The regular game is fine with me, thanks.

So what’s the final verdict on the iOS port of MegaMan X? It’s your quintessential 16-bit iOS port. It’s got a few improvements, a few odd changes and extra features, and kinda broken touch controls. But it’s nice to have a version of MegaMan X that I will quite literally be able to play whenever I want. The PSP remake might be a more solid effort and more playable, but most of the time I play my PSP at home, whereas my iPhone is always with me. $5 is a pretty steep price for a questionable SNES port, and the fact that it’s a quick and dirty port that pushes microtransactions may sour a few on it, but I’m happy to have MegaMan X in my pocket.

On running, roos, and running some more

I’ve been slowly picking away at 5th Cell’s Run Roo Run whenever I rememeber that I have games that aren’t Tiny Tower on my iPhone. That and Mega Man X, but that’s a story for another day.

In quite a stark contrast to their previous games (re: Scribblenauts), Run Roo Run is a very simple game. The premise is usual video game fare: you are a mother kangaroo who must travel across Australia in order to save your joey, who has been captured and put in a zoo. Just another (minor) twist on the common hero/princess business.

The gameplay isn’t entirely new either. Stages are a single screen long (at least up to chapter 10), and you just have to tap the srceen to make momma kangaroo bounce over obstacles. In each chapter, a new element is introduced, like springs, bouncy tires, and a double-jump kajigger. For the first few chapters, the game is really easy, and only once you reach chapter 8 will you find yourself not getting gold medals on the first try. The game’s main focus is accuracy, so you have to make sure you’re bouncing at just the right time. Once you complete all 15 levels in a chapter, 6 “extreme” stages are unlocked, and in those you need pixel-perfect accuracy to even complete the stage, nevermid score a gold medal.

Run Roo Run isn’t exactly a deep game. Like I said before, for at least half of the game, every stage fits on a single screen. Most of the stages in that first half take less than 3 seconds to complete, too. Only once you get far enough that moving platforms are introduced will your stage times exceed 5 seconds. The rating you get after each stage is handed out based on your time, too. Getting gold stars on normal stages isn’t too diffficult, but nabbing golds on the extreme levels can be even more difficult than 3-starring levels in Angry Birds.

Speaking of those angry avians, Run Roo Run’s menus have a very… familiar look.

The real high point, and I think one of the main reasons I keep coming back, is the music. Scribblenauts had a fantastic soundtrack. Run Roo Run’s music strikes the exact same sweet spot and adds a didgeridoo in a couple spots. The stages proper don’t have much in the way of tunage, but the menu screens provide all the aural pleasure you could want.

As with iOS game developers, 5th Cell is not above trying to wring a couple more bucks out of you once you’ve bought their game. There are a couple purchasable items: a bus that lets you skip a stage, and a “bullet-time” (it may be called something else, I can’t be arsed to check) powerup that slows time for so long. The cool thing is that the bullet-time persists over multiple stages, so you can use one to cheese your way to gold on several extreme stages. I’m not sure if there are more things to buy, as I lost interest in items as soon as I learned it would cost me real money to use them.

Run Roo Run isn’t a particularly robust game, but it’s fun and is over before it wears out its welcome (quite the opposite of Angry Birds). The extreme stages will have you pulling out your hair in frustration from chapter 1, but the regular levels have just the right difficulty curve. Achievements are included, and it’s only a buck. I recommend it and hope that it sells well, because 5th Cell is a great studio, and I’d love to see more work from them.

Tiny Trouble

So I downloaded Tiny Tower the other day. Now I’m constantly checking my phone to make sure my stores are stocked up. I’ve learned to eat all meals with one hand, whilst managing my tower with the other. I’m even having trouble resisting the urge to play it during work hours. I’m literally afraid that I’m going to start trying to play while I’m driving. This is becoming a problem.

The thing about Tiny Tower though, is that it isn’t really that good of a game. I mean, it’s as addictive as all the other stupid iOS/Facebook micromanagement games, but it’s pretty shallow and needs way more babysitting than all the other one’s I’ve played.

The objective of Tiny Tower is to build a tower. Imagine that! It’s a neat little pixel tower, and the cute little people that move in are referred to as “bitizens.” It hits all the right old-school gaming notes as far as visuals go. The music isn’t quite as prefectly retro; I find the game is best played with volume off.

Building you tower is as simple as clicking the “build a new floor” button. Only it costs coins to do so. Coins are earned in a few ways, but mostly from businesses that you can open in your tower. Each occupies a floor, and each can be staffed by up to 3 bitizens. Bitizens live on apartment floors, and each apartment can occupy up to five bitizens. So you have to build more businesses to make profit, and apartments to keep them staffed.

Businesses are to Tiny Tower as crops are to FarmVille. Each business can sell up to three items (dependent on how many bitizens work there), and each one has an “ordering” time. So like farming games, you have to wait a while before your products will sell and make you money. Then you have to press the “stock” button before the ordered item can be sold. You get so many of each item, so you don’t have to restock every time a thing is bought, but stocks tend to go quickly. The thing that makes this different from farm games is that (at least early on), your products have an ordering time that’s measured in minutes instead of hours. What this means is that with farm games you can plant your crops before work or bed, then forget about them. Tiny Tower is constantly pushing notifications telling you that your stock is in, meaning that if you’re not constantly babysitting it, your profits are going to slow down to nothing.

There really isn’t much else to the game. Random bitizens will sit in the elevator, waiting for you to drive it to whatever floor they desire. This provides a small payment of coins, but the real reason to bother is that you will rarely get a Tower Buck instead. The “bux” are Tiny Tower’s second, rares currency. The one all stupid little Facebook/iPod games have to confuse idiots into spending real money on game money. The bux can be used to speed construction/ordering, improve your elevator/stores, buy coins, and get new costumes for your bitizens. The nice thing here is that Tiny Tower hands out bux much more liberally than most other games like it.

There’s a silly, useless little feature called “Bitbook,” where your bitizens post their thoughts. It’s more like Twitter than Facebook, but I suppose Bitbook sounds better than Bitter. Rollercoaster Tycoon had a similar feature, where you could read what your park guests were thinking, and use that feedback to improve your park. Bitbook comments are just for fun.

The two features I really like about Tiny Tower are that you can dress up your bitizens and rename all the stores and apartments in your tower. Dressing bitizens is mostly cycling through random, adorable outfits. There’s apparently an editor where you can design your own outfits, but I haven’t used it yet. Renaming shops is undispuatably the most fun I’ve had with the game, as I’ve gotten much more satisfaction from coming up with snappy names than I have from driving bitizens up the elevator. Some of my prouder examples include the bike shop called “Cerulean Cycle” (that’s a Pokémon reference, FYI) and the pharmacy named “Mr. Popper’s Pills.”

 I think the only real reason I keep playing Tiny Tower is to create a bigger tower than my Game Center peers. And really, that’s less a competition of skill than a race to see who gets bored last. I could probably say more about Tiny Tower, but I think my summary has all the pertinent information. Now if you’ll excuse me, my sushi shop has run out of tuna rolls. Again.

24 sentences of materialism

Alright kiddies! I totally forgot to do a “24 Days of Materialism” feature this year, and the best thing I could come up to sort of replace it is this: The 24 Sentences of Materialism. It’s basically the same concept, I choose 24 things I like and tell you to buy them, only this time I’m ripping off the long-dead Video Game Article‘s “One Sentence Reviews” feature. So here’s a list of video games, albums, books, and TV shows that I love and think you should buy for yourself or your loved ones (and also a link to a related webpage for each). Honestly, I think this is the hardest thing I’ve ever written. It’s terribly difficult to express everything I want to say about a product in only one sentence.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword – Take one part Ocarina of Time, one part Wind Waker, mix well, and then tweak everything just slightly: provides a surprisingly fresh Zelda experience!

2. Monster Hunter Freedom Unite – Why not help persuade Capcom to bring MH Portable 3rd or MH3G by picking up what is easily the best game in the series to date (that is available outside of Japan).

3. Groove Coaster – A rhythm game that’s incredibly simple, but will still suck you in with its trippy visuals and eclectic track selection.

4. Volchaos – A rather superb Xbox Indie game that brings back the glory days of video games: short, challenging levels, and a great sense of satisfaction when you get them right.

5. Fallout 3 – I don’t know why I don’t spend more time with this game; it’s so unlike anything else I play and all the more wonderful for it.

6. Super Mario 3D Land – The game that justifies the 3Ds’ existence.

7. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island – Getting this game (and The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap) for free because I paid too much for my 3DS makes it totally worth it.

8. Anima: Ark of Sinners – It’s not really very good, but you can see potential shining through the blandness and kludgy controls.

9. Tron Legacy Soundtrack – Oddly enough, this is probably my favourite music to listen to while playing Minecraft.

10. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – The Live Anthology – Just slightly less than four hours of pure delight.

11. Bound Together – Who could ask for more than an Earthbound tribute remix album?

12. Back in Blue – I love OC Remix but don’t generally love their albums, but this Mega Man 9 tribute is awesome all the way through.

13. Private Line – 21st Century Pirates – There must be something in the water in Finland, because they’re so good at hard rock/metal.

14. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack – This one really should be mandatory reading for every human being.

15. The Forever War – Best novel I’ve read in… forever?

16. 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth – This comic collection goes beyond hilarity and does its best to teach you some very important lessons.

17. GameSpite Journal 10: The SNES Turns 20 – What kind of gamer wouldn’t want to read a book all about SNES games?

18. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Ultimate Collection Vol. 1 – A huge, beautiful history lesson.

19. Futurama Season 6 – The first few episodes are kinda weak, but the quality shoots up after that and has me very excited to get BD set of the second half.

20. Community Season 2 – Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas.

21. Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour – It’s like Criminal Minds if Criminal Minds sunk all the budget into the script and had first-year college students do the rest.

22. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (80’s) – Campy, cheesy, corny; whatever you want to call it, it’s all goofy nostalgia.

23. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood – I liked the original series, and this one is better in every conceivable way.

24. Fringe Season 3 – Somehow this show has gotten to a point where I feel it might be better than LOST.