A different kind of reality

I can’t believe that I did something noteworthy and forgot to mention it for… three days.

Last weekend, I got the chance to play with an HTC Vive for a few hours. My cousin’s husband had pre-ordered one, and it arrived on Friday so he invited me and my brother to come over and check it out.

Now, I have been pretty staunchly apathetic about VR gaming. Not because it doesn’t appeal to me for any particular reason, but simply because I don’t want to care about it. I really don’t need to get dragged down that rabbit hole. Alas, a man can only remain wilfully ignorant for so long, and it’s easy to break down when the Vive’s gaming experience is unbelievably cool

First off, you really have no idea what it’s like until you’re in there. It really is like being sucked into another world. A world where you’re bashing into non-existent walls and ceilings because you’re way too absorbed in the VR experience, but another world no less. If you plug in earbuds as well, you’re as good as dead to the real world. It is amazingly immersive, and I actually felt really odd every time I took off the headset and returned to Earth.

The problem, of course, lies in the fact that you need a huge amount of real-world space to use the thing properly. The sensors measure out your range of real-world movement, which creates an in-game box in which you can flail around freely. You can then move said box around the larger game world via a process called “blinking,” which is far too hard to describe concisely, so I won’t even try. We were playing in a fairly small corner of a basement, and while it was workable, I can’t help but feel that a larger field of movement would have enhanced my experience. The less blinking around, the better.

I started off in a simple tutorial (hosted by a not-Wheatley spheroid robot) that showed me where all the buttons were, and allowed me to shoot lasers, fire off confetti blasts, and inflate balloons to my heart’s content. It was simple and cute. Then I moved into the Wii Sports of VR, Valve’s The Lab. I only played three of the eight available mini-games, but each really spoke to me in a different way.

First was Robot Repair, which puts you in a cute little office where you start by playing around with a few drawers and switches to get used to moving around and interacting in virtual space. Then an overhead door opens and one of the multiplayer robots from Portal 2 stumbles out, ostensibly in need of repair. This is where the “reality” part of virtual reality really started to shine.

When you see a huge robot lumbering at you unsteadily, even when you know it’s a pretend thing, you get the heck out of the way. It is an involuntary reaction, because even though this is all just images being beamed into your eyes through a crazy expensive headset, your brain is being tricked into thinking that it’s real. Of course, it got much, much worse when I failed to repair the robot. It fell apart, and then the office fell apart, giving way to a massive factory. Then GLaDOS (who is massive and terrifying; I nearly fell over when she appeared) came out of nowhere to harangue me, seal me in a cube and then smash me into a fine paste.

Robot Repair is defintely the best way for anyone to experience VR for the first time. I’ve embedded a video of it below, but it loses a lot when you aren’t completely immersed.

I moved on to another mini-game called Slingshot, which was more or less Angry Birds, only viewed from the slingshot’s perspective. You load up these spheres, and then try to launch them to break as many boxes as possible. Red boxes explode, and blue boxes give you another sphere. Oh, and also, every sphere talks to you while you’re aiming, and they all have unique personalities. I found it very difficult to figure out where I was aiming, and generally had to launch one sphere as a baseline, and then adjust my shot with a second and possibly third sphere. I didn’t do great, but my brother absolutely killed it.

The last mini-game that I played in The Lab was Longbow. It is a simple tower defense game, where you’re standing on a castle wall, and you have only a bow and arrow to defend against adorable little silhouette invaders. I got really into this one, and by the second wave I was firing arrow after arrow like a madman (though I wasn’t a great shot). There are also little torches off to your sides so that you can shoot flaming arrows. I could see myself playing this one until I had achieved absolute mastery.

Next, I tried out a game called The Brookhaven Experiment. It is incredibly simple and incredibly familiar. You stand in the middle of a dark field, and then spin around and shoot zombies as they stumble towards you. It would be boring as all heck in any other situation, but actually being in the game made it all the more thrilling and intense. It took me a while to get used to aiming, because your gun swivels around realistically, instead of being aimed perfectly straight ahead like in every other game. So I had to learn to line up the sights to make accurate shots.

Once I figured that out though, it got really easy. Zombies go down from one good headshot, though big zombies take three or so. You also get a flashlight to help cut through the darkness, though it does have limited batteries. Like Longbow, I got really into this one, and learned to hold my flashlight under my gun, at once illuminating the area in front of me and steadying my shots. By the fourth wave, I had stopped bothering to use the flashlight at all.

It is a really easy and simple game, but the true thrill comes when you let zombies get too close. Again, even though it’s obviously fake, when you turn around to a zombie all up in your biz, your heart rate quickens and you do start to tense up. On more than one occasion I actually did fall backwards because my body was simply reacting to get me out of what it perceived as harm’s way.

The last game I played was The Gallery – Episode 1: Call of the Starseed. It has a terrible name, but it was a very cool game. The Gallery was very different from the other two games: it was a legitimate adventure games with all sorts of random junk to pick up and puzzles to solve. I wasted a lot of time just wandering around interacting with things to see what they could do (never very much), and mostly just enjoyed drinking in the atmosphere.

There isn’t a lot else to say about it, because it’s very short and there isn’t a lot that you can actually do, but it is a really cool glimpse into the future of VR. I’ll really be sold on this when they start making games where you can interact more deeply with the world and objects can do more than one scripted action. What I’m looking for is just a big virtual toybox, really.

Overall, I was incredibly impressed with the Vive. It delivers a truly unique, amazing experience. The biggest problem with it is that it’s got a massive barrier for entry. The price tag ($1,300, not including high-end gaming PC) is enough to make one queasy, and then there’s the need for an entire room devoted to the thing. It’s a very cool new technology, but it’s going to be a very difficult thing to introduce into the mainstream. The costs of getting and using the Vive could easily cause it to become an even shorter-lived success story than motion controls.

I really do look forward to seeing what people come up with when they start making really high quality games for VR, but as it is, there’s nothing that really makes it a must-have toy. Aside from bragging rights, I guess. Having experienced it first-hand, I’ve definitely been converted into a believer, but it’s going to be a while before I literally buy into virtual reality gaming.

Migraine watch: May 13/16

It’s been quite a long tine since I’ve written up one of these, longer than gaps between my migraines used to be. To be perfectly honest, I was kind of hoping that maybe the cause of my migraines was gone (if you know what I mean), but I am in the middle of an attack, so that’s not the case.

This one, specifically, impaired my ability to spell and form coherent sentences. It look me nearly half an hour to write that last paragraph.

I woke up Friday morning feeling overtired but otherwise okay, as is the usual lately. I went to work, and all was fine until I arrived. I turned on my computer, and noticed that I was having a very difficult time focusing on the screen. It’s hard to explain, but I could only see a small portion of the screen that was dead ahead, and the rest was totally blurry. I knew something as wrong, as I could see everything fine besides my monitor.

Then my right arm started to get all tingly. That’s when I knew for sure that it was a migraine. The feeling lasted for about five minutes, and then moved up into my jaw for maybe a minute.

About 40 minutes after arriving at work, my ability to read my monitor had come back, and I hit what was sort of the calm before the storm. The “aura” ended completely and it seemed like my body was getting ready to go back to normal. Less than five minutes later, the true migraine began.

Overall, it was significantly less painful than migraines before. While it was still very difficult to focus and my head was throbbing like crazy, it was bearable enough that I toughed it out and stayed at work instead of going back home to sleep it off. The big disappointment this time around is that I had not kept any ibuprofen available at work, and the neared drugstore didn’t open until 10 AM, so I had to sit and suffer for a few hours, and by the time I could go out to grab some pills, I could already feel the pain slowly beginning to subside and didn’t bother.

Start : 7:55 AM (aura), 8:45 AM (migraine)

End : 11:30 AM

Aura: Inability to see computer monitor, inability to spell/write coherent sentences, brief tingling in right arm and jaw, difficulty thinking/speaking

Possible triggers: Exhaustion, mostly. Maybe not eating properly?

Medication: None taken

New Pokémon Trailer!!!

 

What do I think about it? Aww, so kind of you to ask!

My knee-jerk reaction was that I did not like any of the new Pokémon designs, but that I was absolutely in love with the Hawaiian theme (not going to marry it). Trainer customization seems to be back, but even if it’s not, I think the girl trainer design is perfect and won’t complain. Plus, it at least allows you to choose your skin tone, so that’s good.

Over the course of the morning, and with some persuasion by amazing official art, I have sort of come around on Popplio. I’d probably be choosing it by default anyway because I never take the grass-type starter and I really don’t like Litten. The truth is that I really do like Rowlet, but as I said, I just can’t choose the grass-type, no matter how awesome. If Turtwig couldn’t do it for me, nothing can.

The new legendaries aren’t the worst, I guess. A little too much going on in their design, but majestic and mysterious enough to justify their place as the cover art. Mostly I just want to know what their place is in the plot and then I’ll proceed to never care about them again, like all of the cover legendaries that came after Lugia and Ho-oh.

Based on the Hawaii Land setting, I also spent a good portion of my morning coming up with appropriately-themed Pokémon. I’ll probably draw a bunch of them and post images here. If I don’t, just know that I’ve basically done six months worth of fan speculation in under six hours.

Also most of my ideas are “Existing Pokémon but Incorporating a Pineapple Somehow.”

I am not the most creative person.

Rimshot & Clunk

I went to see the Ratchet & Clank movie with my brother last week. It was totally out of left field because I had no idea that they were making a movie, and also I’ve never played a single second of any of the Ratchet & Clank video games. But the little bro is a big fan, and I’m always down for a movie (as long as I have gift cards in pocket), so off I went.

ratchet-posterIt was not a bad movie. In fact, I might dare to say that I liked it, for the most part. The characters were fun, although I must admit that Clank is like the polar opposite of what I was expecting from a little robot sidekick. I thought he’d be like the comic relief to Ratchet’s more serious heroic role. But no. In fact, Clank was the only character who was not constantly trying to be hilarious (oh and also John Goodman, but I forget what his guy’s name was).

And therein lies my only real beef with Ratchet & Clank: it’s constantly trying to be funny, and failing at nearly every turn. Like, it’s always on. The never-ending gags are more exhausting than anything, and we were less than ten minutes in before I started wondering to myself if it was ever going to dial it down.

In all fairness, I chuckled a few times and there were a couple of legitimately funny jokes, but most of the time it was just stupid things that were in no way funny. On the other hand, the few Playstation references were very subtle and well-placed, and I really appreciated those. Some jerk in the theatre appreciated them way more than I did, as he would holler out in excitement every time.

“OH MAN, THAT’S THE BOOT-UP SOUND FROM THE ORIGINAL PLAYSTATION! HA HA HA HA AWESOME! EVERYBODY LOOK HOW SMART I AM ABOUT PLAYSTATIONS! I AM IRRESISTABLE TO WOMEN, BUT I AM MAKING THE CHOICE TO BE SINGLE!”

Alright, so maybe I’m exaggerating. But only a little.

In conclusion, Ratchet & Clank isn’t horrible, but nerds are.

The poor, worthless cube

Nintendo released a “free-to-play” game on both Wii U and 3DS last week. That game is Mini Mario & Friends: Amiibo Challenge. I put free-to-play in quotations there because while the software can be downloaded at no cost, you can’t actually do anything but stare at the title screen without an amiibo figure. Womp-womp.

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Scanning an amiibo gives you a little wind-up version of the character you scanned to play the game with. As long as that character is from either the Mario or Donkey Kong family. Also Wario doesn’t count for whatever reason. If you scan any other amiibo, you get to play as a little cube robot named Mini Spek. For reasons that I will get into right away, you don’t want to be Mini Spek.

You can see above that the amiibo I scanned is named Barky. It’s my Wolf Link amiibo. I think it’s a good name. Also my Bowser amiibo’s name is Mittens.

When you scan a Mario character amiibo, you get a fancy little robot toy with a special ability. For example, Mini Mario can do wall jumps, Mini Peach can hover over short gaps, and Mini Bowser Jr can cross over spikes unharmed. These special abilities can be used to collect amiibo tokens scattered about the stages and enter special character-specific doors.

The doors unlock small worlds off the main path, which essentially means that you’re limited to about 11 stages if you don’t have the correct amiibos. Mini Spek is completely unable to enter (or even reach) the character doors, as he has no abilities whatsoever. His game will be over before you know it. Stages unlocked by Mario amiibos account for more than half the game, and nearly all of it when you consider that amiibo tokens unlock the Star World stages.

That sounds pretty bad, yeah? What’s even worse is that the gameplay is actually really fun, so you’d better already have those amiibos, because that’s some really expense DLC if you’re comparing content to dollars spent (an amiibo figure costs $15.99). And if you don’t want to collect those Mario amiibos? You might as well just skip this game. The stages you can play with Mini Spek are good, but ultimately they just made me hungry for more.

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Each stage is a little puzzle where you have to get your toy character to the door at the end. You have a certain number of items, like girders and trampolines, to move around the stage to avoid obstacles, and there are coins scattered about to bump up your score. Imagine Lemmings, except you manipulate the environment instead of the character. Figuring out the path to the exit is usually easy enough, but collecting all the coins and finishing the stage fast enough will earn you a trophy, and that takes a little more finesse.

It’s really too bad that Amiibo Challenge is shackled to amiibos, but I suppose that was never intended as a surprise. It is right in the name, after all. The upside is that if you don’t want to spend $160 on amiibos to get all that this game offers, Mario vs Donkey Kong: Tipping Stars (available as a cross-buy on Wii U and 3DS) has the exact same gameplay at a much lower cost. So I think I’ll probably check that out, because like I said, Amiibo Challenge has really only just whet my appetite for this kind of puzzle game.

Forged in the fires of Heaven

We all know when Bruce Banner says “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” that he’s correct. I mean, at least in theory. I like the Hulk, but I don’t think I’d like to actually be around the Hulk. Or, maybe I would. I don’t know. I think we could be buds.

Anyway, I really blew that transition.

What I was originally going for is that you would like a Burger King Whopper when it’s angry. And even more so when it’s angriest.

Yes, I tried the Angriest Whopper, so you know what that means…

~Now it’s time for… How Did This Get Made?~

Wait, no. That’s not right. Geez, I am really off today.

I have no idea when this thing first came out, but I only learned about it last week, and was immediately in love. I am already a huge fan of the plain ol’ Whopper, and a version that comes on a bright red bun would be enough to send me over the moon. Unlike the black bun they did for Halloween, the red bun actually has hot sauce baked right into it. Hot sauce! Into the bun! Right in there! It’s amaaaaaaazing!

In addition to that, there is also hot sauce on the sandwich. That’s double the hot sauce! Spicy stuff! Then there are spicy onions and delicious jalapenos on there to bump up the heat even more. All that on top of the usual Whopper fixin’s make it an absolute flavour sensation. Also, easily the hottest burger I’ve ever eaten. It was wonderful.

In summary, I love the Angriest Whopper. I’m not gonna marry it, but I would if the law recognized man-sandwich unions. It is by a very wide margin the best fast food burger that I’ve ever eaten, and I literally cannot stop thinking about it. It has been nearly a week since I ate it, and every day I strongly consider finding my way to Burger King to get more. The problem is that it’s a very expensive sandwich. At $8, it’s definitely a “special occasions” kind of burger.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – April 2016

Late March’s descent into Zeldamania continues. Mostly because I’ve been devoting roughly 95% of my gaming time to Hyrule Warriors again. Which is, you know, not really Zelda, but it looks the part.

This month also saw the release of the new Star Fox games. One of which is a very traditional Star Fox game which people hate because of the controls. And the other is a Star Fox game in name only which people are in love with because of the controls. Wacky!

~ Game Over ~

Hyrule Warriors Legends (3DS) – I completed the story, including all the optional stages. But the adventure maps… they just never end. I mean, I guess they do, but there is so much content smooshed into this game that it’s hard to imagine ever clearing it all.

Resident Evil Revelations (PC) – Guys, I’m gonna spoil it for you: the first revelation is that there are two identical boats. The second revelation is that there’s a third identical boat, which had sunk a year before the game’s events, and a man has been living in it the whole time. This game’s plot is bananas. And I love it that much more because of it.

Resident Evil Revelations 2 – Episode 1 (PC) – Been putting this one off for a while, despite hearing that it’s quite good. And I agree! Not totally on board with the flashlight mechanics, but everything else is just swell. I am frothing in anticipation of the rest of the game.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – April 2016

Wherein oats are a meal

I began eating oatmeal for breakfast last week, in an attempt to make my diet more healthy.

What I want to know is, how do people eat this stuff? It is disgusting. All goopy and bland and gross. Bleeeech. I tried tossing some fruit and cinnamon on there, but man, it only helped so much. The flavour is really the least of its problems. I just… ugh.

So yeah, I hate oatmeal. But I will continue stuffing it into my face-hole.

This is the price I pay for trying to be less fat.

TE Movie Review: Basket Case

basketcaseI’ve been intending to watch Basket Case for over two years now, and only last night did I finally get around to it. Of course, I didn’t exactly watch the movie as I did watch bits of it while waiting for gold to accumulate in Clicker Heroes. Also I sat there with it paused for about 20 minutes at one point while I mulled over whether to go out and get a pizza or not.

I’m really bad at watching movies, is what I’m getting at.

Basket Case was a lot of fun, though. An early 80’s monster movie, it really should have been more engaging for me, as that’s precisely the kind of thing I love. Or, used to, anyway. I haven’t watched such a film since… I don’t know, Pumpkinhead, two Halloweens ago? I used to watch cheesy horror films all the damn time. I don’t know what happened to me…

But that’s besides the point. The first thing you’ll notice about Basket Case is that the acting is all over the place. A lot of it is perfectly competent; not good, really, but not so bad that you’d ding the movie. But then, every once in a while, there is a line (occasionally an entire scene) that is delivered so poorly that you can’t help but chuckle to yourself.

Continue reading TE Movie Review: Basket Case