Woes of the Impulse Buyer

As part of being a responsible adult, I set myself a 2018 budget for video games. I know they’re my largest non-essential expense (if you don’t consider internet essential), and that I am more than willing to say “I shouldn’t buy this, but f**k it” when a new game catches my eye.

Having already factored in the purchases of Pokémon Let’s Go and Super Smash Bros Ultimate in the coming months… I’ve hit my allowed spending limit. Dang! I mean, I actually have $9 left to spend, but close enough. There are several indie games on Switch that are calling out to me, and they’re all significantly more than nine bucks.

Anyway, the point is that I’m not going to buy them. Unless they go on sale for under $9. Or someone randomly gives me money as a gift (which I don’t count toward the budget). But aside from those very specific situations, I will stand strong! I must! And now that it’s down in writing for the world to see, I’m basically forced to hold myself to it.

“So,” you ask, “what was the total budget for the year anyway?”

I’m not telling. I’d rather leave it up to your imagination. But if you go over the monthend wrap-ups and count up all the games I played that were released in 2018, you could probably come up with a pretty close figure!

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – October 2018

TGISGM! Thank goodness it’s scary games Friday month! I’ve been dying all summer because the sun doesn’t go away until like 10PM and I’m too old to stay up much later than that but now it gets dark super early and I can get some SPOOPS GOIN’!

I’m sorry. That was a really weird sentence. Anyway, since it’s that time of year, I’m going to be sort of rating the games I’ve played on how spooky they are. Like I did back in 2016.

~Game Over~

Mega Man 11 (Switch) – Not Spooky – Torch Man’s stage theme is “wandering around the woods at night” which is a little bit spooky, but less so with all the cartoon robots who live there.

Picross S2 (Switch) – Not Spooky – It’s picross. There may be like, a puzzle of a pumpkin in there somewhere, but it wouldn’t even have a face carved into it. No spooks here.

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate (Switch) – Not Spooky – Despite being all about monsters -some of which are mildly frightening- there’s nothing particularly spooky here.

Bayonetta (Switch) – Spooky-ish – Freaky lookin’ angels and demons all over, but there’s never really anything scary, you know? Except for the impossibly unbalanced difficulty.

Slayaway Camp (Switch) – Spoopy! – This game does a wonderful job of capturing the spirit of 80’s slasher movies, and then hamming it up to 11. Perfect blend of horror and humour.

Hollow (Switch) – Spooky! – You’re stranded on a derelict spaceship; presumably alone, until you realize there are hordes of mutilated boobie-zombies out to kill you dead! Eek!

Kemono Friends Picross (Switch) – Spooky-ish – It’s very subjective, but I find the whole animal-people theme to be a little creepy. Otherwise, this is way too cheerful to be spooky.

~Now Playing~

Onechanbara Z2: Chaos (PS4) – Spoopy at Best – It’s about zombies and cursed blood and copious gore, but really it’s just too dumb/goofy/cheesecakey to actually be spooky.

Dark Souls (Switch) – Spooky! – Yeah, this one’s a shoo-in for spooks. Have you ever seen the Gaping Dragon? Or any monster from the Painted World of Ariamis? Buuuh. Nightmares!

MGSV: The Phantom Pain (PC) – Not Spooky – There’s that one part with the parasite warehouse that is genuinely creepy and gross, but we passed that chapter months ago.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: September 2018

The age of Mega Man X dominating my gaming time has ended. At least for now. Now, instead of being stuck on a series of action platformers, I’m ears-deep in massive RPGs. Super. At least I was guaranteed to finish all those Mega Mans.

~ Game Over ~

Mega Man X7 (Switch) – If you thought I was down on X5… it looks like a sparkling gem next to this turd. Not even really worth playing just to say you’ve played ‘em all.

Mega Man X8 (Switch) – It’s not amazing, but it stands head and shoulders above X7. Playing it brought back some fun memories of when I first bought a PS2. Ah, such simpler times…

The Messenger (Switch) – After my first playthrough, I think this might fall in line with the way I feel about Mega Man X: it’s as close to perfect as a video game can possibly be.

Final Fantasy XV (PS4) – I finally did it! And exactly a year after my last play session! I gave the disc back to my brother, but I kind of want to get the Royal Edition and keep playing…

The Legend of Zelda (NES) – It’s on my Switch now, so… yeah, of course I played it.

The Silver Case (PS4) – A Japan-only PS1 adventure game by Suda 51, remastered and localized. It’s pretty interesting, and I can absolutely see the genesis of Killer7 in it.

~ Now Playing ~

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate (Switch) – I just hit high rank and already there is so much more content than on the 3DS version. Purchase justified!

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age (PS4) – Few things feel as purely good as playing a Dragon Quest game. And this one is so got-danged pretty!

WarioWare Gold (3DS) – Whaaaaat a 3DS game in 2018? How even? I was going to skip this, but then my parents got it for me as a birthday gift. Which is awesome because <3 WarioWare.

MGSV: The Phantom Pain (PC) – Hey it’s this again. How many more two-line blurbs am I going to have to write about this friggin’ game? (Probably only one more.)

Picross S2 (Switch) – I could be done, but this time I’m actually playing all the Mega puzzles, too. They can be quite the challenge, which is good because regular picross is too easy.

Dr. Mario (NES) – Now my Switch can play Dr. Mario, so I’m pretty happy!

Frederic: Resurrection of Music (Switch) – I’ve been long intrigued by this, then it went on sale for 65 cents. Verdict: Its heart is in the right place, but I don’t want a touchscreen piano game.

Wherein I wish games were movies

When Telltale Games came onto the scene back in 20-aught-whatever with their brand new Sam and Max adventure game, I was elated. I’ve always been a big fan of point-and-clicks, and TTG did a really great job of capturing the spirit of those beloved old LucasArts games. Following up with projects like Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Attractive People and Tales of Monkey Island, the future looked bright for episodic point-and-click adventures.

But then something happened, and Telltale’s games made a dramatic shift from point-and-click adventures to more streamlined, narrative-focused experiences where 95% of the gameplay consists of quick-time events and a few dialogue choices. I don’t even like referring to this current generation of Telltale products as “games,” because they’re really just movies where you have to press a series of buttons to make it keep going every once in a while. Sometimes you get to make your character walk forward a few metres with the option of examining some random scenery details.

I have only played two games of this sort: Tales from The Borderlands and Batman: The Telltale Series. And while I would recommend both, because I did end up really liking the stories they told and the characters involved, neither one was especially fun from a gameplay standpoint. In fact, in both cases, the gameplay really just got in the way of the story they were telling. Sure, one might argue that your actions influence said story, but I don’t really care. The various twists and turns actually take away from the experience, as there are a number of lines in dialogue trees that don’t make a lot of sense or seem really out of place. I think both games would have benefited from a tighter, more linear script.

This isn’t to say that you can’t do a more modern take on the classic adventure-style game! I submit Life is Strange as a perfect example of how you can have a semi-linear game with a strong focus on plot, but still fit in some simple puzzles and gameplay that feels meaningful. Yes, you’re still set on a pretty straight path in Life is Strange, but at least you get the freedom to explore every scene and interact with other characters at your leisure. Not that its story is perfect either, as there is a huge variance in the quality of voice acting, and sometimes dialogue feels really forced and there are many lines that feel very stiff and/or unnatural. But my point is that the gameplay never feels like it’s detracting from the overall experience. Also there is never a single quick-time event.

At the end of the day, I think Telltale’s modern games are great stories that you can absolutely get yourself invested in. They have a certain style and charm that makes them easily distinguishable and a lot of fun. But they would really be better off as simple non-interactive mini-series. No “core” gamers like quick-time events and they make a rather high barrier to entry for casual players, so I guess my question at the end of this is; who are these games even made for?

In defense of a black sheep

I was not shocked, but somewhat upset when I replayed Mega Man X5 only to learn that I actually kind of hate it. It was a game that lived in a troubled, but still beloved place in my memory. Mega Man X6, on the other had, was known to me only as a dumpster fire that I’d rather not even ever think about if I didn’t absolutely have to.

Imagine my surprise then, when I gave X6 its turn and somehow I actually mostly enjoyed it. Don’t get me wrong! It’s still an uneven mess, but I think it might be better than X5. It’s certainly a lot more fun, and that’s really the main goal with these things, right?

Here are the major issues I’ve encountered:

  • Blaze Heatnix’s stage is an incredibly frustrating series of mini-boss encounters; all of them are the same boss with way too much health, but in different room layouts to force you to fight each one differently. This is stupid and by a wide margin the worst stage in the game. …Though they can be easily beaten if you’re clever (Hint: charged Metal Anchor).
This enemy is the six worst things about Mega Man X6
  • There’s a boss called High Max, who is completely invincible to your X-buster and Z-saber. To defeat him, you have to stun him with a buster shot and then hit him with a special weapon. He’s not terribly difficult once you know what to do, but he takes so little damage that the battle will last several minutes no matter how good you are. As opposed to most bosses, who a skilled player can easily down in under 30 seconds (the exception being Infinity Mijinion, who is hella annoying).
  • Also there are bits and pieces of stages all over that are either massively unfair or literally impossible for an unarmored X to get through. These are pretty bad, but they’re few and far between, at least.
  • Most of the “nightmare effects” that start happening when you beat each boss are mildly annoying at worst. “Nightmare Dark” severely hinders your vision in certain stages by blocking out a massive chunk of the screen and it truly does make life a nightmare.

The last thing, and the one that drove me completely bonkers in my youth, is that in every stage there are 16 friendly reploids for you to find and rescue. Sometimes they give you cool trinkets. But there are also these squiddy robots that, if they touch a friendly, will infect them with a zombie virus. Then your buddy is dead forever and if he had a powerup, it’s lost to the ether, and you have to reload your game if you want another shot at saving him. The thing is… except for Blaze Heatnix and Metal Shark Player, the stages are pretty easy to run through quickly, so reloading isn’t a big time sink. It’s generally easy to blast the squiddies before they zombify your pals, too. There’s like one that’s legit challenging to get to in time. Also there’s the fact that in my old age, I just can’t be bothered to have that obsessive completionism of my teen years, so if I lose a guy… meeeeeh. (But I did rescue them all because it wasn’t actually that hard.)

What makes X6 better than X5 to me is that it’s no longer completely bogged down in its own excess. Stage design is generally more cohesive and interesting. Alia is still there to give you hints, but now most of her hints are activated by a button, so you can choose to completely ignore her. Which is awesome! There’s no stupid time limit or randomly chosen story path that may or may not remove a playable character, and the cutscenes are all skippable! Your hunter rank is now based on how many “nightmare souls” you collect, and not your gameplay performance, which takes all the pressure off. Lastly, and coolest of all, is that if you do have the patience to find and defeat High Max, you can skip straight to the fortress levels! It’s totally impractical, because the fortress in this game is a beast even with all the power-ups, but such a cool little secret!

So yeah! Generally speaking, I have had much more fun with Mega Man X6 than I ever thought possible. A few minor headaches here and there because it’s still home to a few cheap traps and questionable design decisions, but they’re nowhere near as bad as the exercise in overwhelming tedium that was Mega Man X5. Needless to say, I’m happy that I gave this one another chance.

Another miniature NES, in a fashion

The Nintendo Switch Online service debuted a couple of nights ago. I, obviously enough, subscribed immediately. I’m not necessarily happy about having to pay for online play now, but it’s less than half the cost of an annual PS Plus subscription. And I had that nice year-and-a-half of free online play, so I won’t be too butthurt about it.

Let’s talk features: Playing online is cool. I have a Monster Hunter on Switch now, so it’s an absolute necessity. Also I like to entertain the thought that I will play Splatoon 2 again at some point. I think those are the only two online games I care about. There’s ARMS, I guess, but I’m even less likely to play that than Splatoon 2. Smash has historically bad online play, so we’ll see about that one.

Cloud saves… I honestly don’t care about. Yeah, it would suck to lose hours of progress through a thing. The truth of it is that I always have way more fun with the beginnings of games anyway. Dunno why, and I don’t have the time right now to do a deep psychological examination of myself.

Apparently Switch Online subscribers will get exclusive deals. I’m hoping that means bigger discounts on games in the future, but all you get right now is the opportunity to buy the special joycons shaped like NES controllers. Which is not something I’m interested in. They’re $80, which is less than a regular joycon pair, but they also don’t function with any games aside from…

NES Online is the real “value add” for the subscription service. It’s basically NES Netflix, NESflix, if you will, in which you are granted unlimited access to an ever-growing library of NES games. This is cool! I prefer owning things, but this is the way that media is offered now, so I’ll go with the flow. There are currently 20 games on offer, with a paltry three to be added each month. That’s not enough, but what can you do?

Me, I plan to just enjoy what I get. There’s no point in complaining, especially since Nintendo is going back and adding online play to any games that can support it. At first, this seems like a dynamite feature. But then you try to go and play some online Dr. Mario and realize that you’re only allowed to play with people on your friends list. That, I’m going to be salty about. I want to be able to just hop in and play online River City Ransom and Tecmo Bowl with randos. But instead I have to schedule playtime with someone on my friends list. Now I have to download the Discord app and figure out how to use Discord, and also how to actually interact with people in a way that will make them want to play Double Dragon with me. It’s an all-around bummer.

The one “saving grace” if you will, is that you can also download the Famicom Online from the Japanese eShop, if you want to play the Famicom versions of all these games. There aren’t really a lot of reasons why you’d want to do this (aside from being a dumb weeb), but The Legend of Zelda at least has enhanced music and sound effects in the Famicom version. It’s not much, and I’m reasonably certain that Nintendo will keep the library of games the same between regions, but it’s still a neat little feature.

So yeah, that’s about that. I kind of hope we see something like the PS Plus or Games With Gold deals where subscribers get free modern games, but the slate of NES games is enough to satisfy me. And there’s the suggestion that SNES games won’t be far behind. It’s pretty good!

Nintendo Direct – 9/13/2018

Another Nintendo Direct happened yesterday. That’s what, like four in just over a month now? Looks like they don’t intend to ever let the Switch hype train slow down. In any case, this one was slightly over half an hour long, and had like a bajillion games highlighted. I’m gonna have to be very concise if I’m going to keep this under 3000 words…

Luigi’s Mansion 3 – Right on! I’m definitely down for this! At least, depending on when it releases.Too many games, and all that. Also, I still need to play Dark Moon, which could very well never happen.

3DS Games – Kirby’s Extra Epic Yarn, Bowser’s Inside Story, and Luigi’s Mansion. All ports of games I very much liked, but not so much that I need to buy them again on a dying platform. Also there was a Yo-kai Watch thing and I just cannot be bothered to care.

Splatoon 2 v.4 – Another free update that ostensibly adds a bunch of new weapons and clothes. Maybe even a stage or two? This one also seems to come with new sub-weapons and supers, which is really cool and not something that usually happens with the free updates? They didn’t go into great detail on what’s going to be included.

Mega Man 11 – I have already played the demo far more than necessary, and I am so excited for this game to come out next month. It feels so good, like Mega Man game should. I’m a little disappointed at how bland the amiibo feature is (daily free items), but not at all surprised.

Mario Tennis Aces – There’s a free update with new characters. Also a new co-op challenge mode where you can win new skins and whatnot. I’d like to care, but I’ll never play this game.

Capcom Beat ‘Em Up Bundle – This is cool! Seven classic beat ’em ups on one package, some of which were previously arcade exclusive. Not something I personally would buy, but I like that Capcom is reviving some of their B/C-tier stuff.

New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe – I still want to play Super Luigi U at some point, but I’d rather spend the $25 on Wii U than another $80 on this port bundle. Adding Nabbit and Toadette as playable characters is neat, but not nearly enough.

Katamari Damacy REROLL – I am tentatively excited about this. I need to know whether or not it’s just a port of the first game, and that’s not overly clear from this trailer. And if it is just a port/remaster, what kind of price are we looking at?

Nintendo Switch Online – Paid online service, $25 a month, free NES games and cloud saves. Nothing new here, but it was a cute video. A really cute video.

Pokémon Let’s Go – No new information here. Obviously I am super excited for this.

Diablo III – I’ve never played Diablo III, and likely won’t ever play Diablo III. Although it does look strikingly similar to the kind of game that I would really enjoy.

Super Mario Party – Ugh, it’s Mario Party, I have absolutely no inter… wait, single player modes!?

Town – A cute new RPG from Game Freak. Apparently the entire game takes place in one town. So that’s different. It looks really cool though, something I’ll keep an eye on. Also, spoilers: this is my most hype new announcement of the Direct.

Cities Skylines – I gave up on SimCity decades ago.

Daemon X Machina – I was already on board because it’s an action game about flying around in mech suits. Now they’re telling me I can swipe weapons and parts from downed mecha and use them for myself? Guys, thank you for building a game specifically for me!

Yoshi’s Crafted World – Totes adorbs, I like the world-altering gimmicks. Let’s be honest, it’s a Yoshi game, so I’ll be buying it regardless.

Board games on Switch – I don’t see myself buying any board games on Switch, but it’s really cool that there’s going to be a digital version of Pandemic out.

Civilization VI – Considering how addictive people say this game is, I think it’s best that I just keep myself out of this one’s way.

Starlink: Battle for Atlas – This looks like an actually good Star Fox game. Plus the Switch version allows you to play as all the Star Fox guys! I’m all-in on this one!

The World Ends With You: Final Mix – Sorry, don’t care.

Xenoblade 2 DLC – Aww, people who bought the season pass get it a week early? Well, I don’t have time for this right now, anyway. And I also want to buy the physical version.

Warframe – Meh.

Just Dance 2019 – Meh.

FIFA ’19 – Meh.

Team Sonic Racing – Meh.

NBA 2K19 – Meh.

NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 – I bought the first one, but I no longer have time for sports games.

LEGO DC Super Villains – Meh.

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Remastered – Now with online play? Oh yes, that is a thing that I want! But I don’t know if I’d actually buy it again…

Final Fantasy XV Potato Edition – Full disclosure: I bought this immediately after the Direct was over. I really liked FFXV, and I think I’ll like it even more without all the bloat.

Chocobo’s Mystery Dungeon: Every Buddy – The indie obsession has killed my appreciation for roguelikes. Sorry, Chocobo. It’s just not happening.

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age – This is my reward for not buying it on PS4. Now I can play FFXII everywhere! *maniacal laughter*

Final Fantasy VII HD – WHAT

Final Fantasy IX HD – Wait, you missed one…

Final Fantasy X & X-2 HD Remaster – No, I’m serious. Where’s FFVIII? That’s the one I want. (Realtalk: all these Final Fantasies on Switch is awesome. I wish I had a reason to buy them, but I own most of them two or three times already. Except XII; I’m totes buying XII.)

Super Smash Bros Ultimate – There’s a Switc bundle with a fancy dock and joy-cons… Oh! And also Isabelle is now a fighter! I don’t do the whole “waifu” thing, but if I did, Isabelle would totally be my waifu. Yes, I know she’s a dog. We’ll make it work. But, I don’t think I can play Smash now, because I couldn’t bear to hurt Isabelle 🙁

Animal Crossing Switch – Oh, hey. This is a thing now. Coming next year. I… don’t care.

The Messenger

The Messenger opens with your unnamed ninja character being given a scroll by a mysterious hero of legend. Your goal from that point on is to trek across the world and deliver said scroll to a group of monks at the top of the highest mountain peak, thus fulfilling an age-old prophecy and ostensibly pushing back the invading forces of Hell.

The reveal of what is contained on the scroll is hilarious.

And that’s the kind of game The Messenger is. It’s a 2D action platformer that stars a ninja out to stop the destruction of his world by demons, but also it takes every opportunity to joke around and keep the adventure a little more light-hearted. This retro-styled throwback game takes plenty of inspiration from games like Ninja Gaiden and Super Metroid and even takes a few cues from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES. While I’m sure it’s only coincidence, it also feels and plays remarkably similarly to Ninja Striker on 3DS. That’s a compliment, too, because I very much adore Ninja Striker.

Continue reading The Messenger

Quinpath Traveler

I -and most other video game enthusiasts- have been ears-deep in a deluge of quality games these days, and that can often make it easy for certain games to get lost in the shuffle. One particular case was the unfortunate timing of the releases of Octopath Traveler and the Mega Man X Legacy Collections. With release dates just slightly more than a week apart, poor Octopath Traveler was destined to be left behind once all those Mega Mans hit. (And now that Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate is out, even said Mega Mans will be ignored.)

Even so! I have been picking it up here and there to get in an hour or two a week, and I’m still really liking it! Progression through the game has not been quite as smooth as with your garden-variety JRPG, and I think that’s something that I really appreciate about it. One of the things that stands out most is that the entire world is open to you from the moment you clear your starting character’s first chapter. There are no plot gates or lands only accessible by boat/airship. The only thing limiting your travels is whether or not you can handle any area’s local monsters. There are convenient flags on the map which tell you where to go to progress each character’s tale, but that’s really all the direction you’re given. If you feel like you just want to grind up to the point where you can visit the edge of the world, then have at it!

At the outset, I opted to take a very semi-focused route, heading straight toward H’annit’s second chapter, and stopping in the towns along the way to recruit other travelers. But then I doubled back and checked out another town in the opposite direction. After that, I learned that secondary jobs are earned by discovering their shrines hidden around the world, so that became a pretty lengthy distraction. And finally, after having expanded my party to five (one more than can be active), I made it to my original destination and… got absolutely trounced. And by the regular monsters in the area, not even the boss!

Which brings me to why I started writing this in the first place: Octopath Traveler is hard! All the Chapter 1s are fairly tame, but with bosses that scale based on the size of your party. But once you begin hitting Chapter 2s, the difficulty ratchets up to eleven. Unfortunately, this makes grinding a bit of a necessity. It doesn’t take long, because enemies in your level range give out generous amounts of experience points, which seem to be the most important part of survival. Equipment gives nice stat increases, but is generally prohibitively expensive, and monsters don’t drop quite as much money as they do EXP. It helps that I recruited Tressa the merchant, who has several skills that make earning cash easier, but it still seemed like for every new piece of equipment I worked to afford, I gained a couple levels while grinding for the cash.

On the upside of it all, the combat system is still really fun, being a sort of puzzle where you need to balance your BP (that give you extra turns or buff your skills) with breaking enemies’ guards. It was easy at first, but as the monsters started getting stronger and coming in bigger groups, it became trickier to decide which ones to target first or when to spend those oh-so-precious BPs. Do you break all the enemies at once to get a free turn, or do you just focus on taking one down at a time? There’s way more strategy in normal battles in Octopath Traveler than in most similar RPGs.

The boss battles continue to delight me as well. Each one is trickier than the last, and many seem to have a gimmick that really forces you to adapt to different strategies. The boss of Tressa’s Chapter 1 was a duo of pirates who started out pretty basic, but once one of them took a lot of damage, the other began taking any attacks that would have hit his comrade’s weaknesses. And you would think, “Okay, this guy is taking hits for his friend, I’ll just use his weakness instead” but then those end up landing on the first guy, and you’re all like “aaugh these knuckleheads are smarter than I thought!” So you’re forced to use multi-target attacks or alternate breaking them so that they can’t stop you from hitting them with the correct weapon/element. It’s tough! And I love it! H’aanit’s second boss did something completely different, which was to re-roll it’s weaknesses and gain an extra shield point every time it recovered from a break. That battle in particular took roughly 20 minutes and I ended it with my two casters completely drained of MP and the whole party on the brink of death. It was thrilling! Usually battles so close are reserved for final bosses, but every single boss is like that in Octopath Traveler.

After that rough chapter, I’ve decided that may next goal is to recruit the final three travelers before moving onto any more advanced chapters. Hopefully even those easier scenarios will give me the necessary experience buff to make progressing the stories a little more manageable. Even if they don’t, I guess that just means I get to spend more time playing this really fun game. It’s win-win!