Within This Place Resides an Evil

So I played The Evil Within last month. It’s been sitting on my shelf unplayed since, like, January, when I got it at some kind of crazy dirt-cheap price. Seriously, if you go out (on onto your console’s online store) and look for it now, it’s still way more than I paid for it back then.

evilwithin

But honestly, I would have been just fine with paying full price for this bad boy. I loved pretty much every minute of it, aside from one or two mildly frustrating bits. It’s the most recent game by Resident Evil creator Shinji Mikami, and if you have any sort of appreciation for the RE series, it’s made very clear where this games roots lie.

Continue reading Within This Place Resides an Evil

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – October 2015

Oh, thank goodness, all the spooky ghosts and goblins are gone for another year.

Wait, no. I like all that stuff. Darn it!

~ Game Over ~

The Beginner’s Guide (PC) – I just. Whoa. Art games, man. (But really, there are some heavy themes in here that take a long time to really digest. And possibly multiple playthroughs.)

Life is Strange: Episode 5 – Polarized (PC) – What. A. Finale. Aside from a weirdly out-of-place (but easily broken) stealth sequence, it was a really great episode. It’s been a crazy ride, and it all culminates in the most impossible choice ever, natch. Seems like most of the internet hated the endings, but I don’t think Dontnot can afford to pull a Mass Effect 3?

The Evil Within (PS3) – It was October, I needed to play something spooky, and this had been in my backlog for well over a year. How even did that happen? But it’s basically just Resident Evil 4 again, so I had a total blast with it. Playing on easy was a great idea, as I feel like certain parts could have been very frustrating if they had been harder.

Bravely Default (3DS) – Made some serious progress. Earned the “bad” ending, which is not so much bad as it is unfinished. Anyway, I’mma keep playing it to the real ending, which apparently is a slog, but whatever. I’m having fun.

Chrono Trigger (DS) – Finally, the madness is over. I have earned every possible ending. Which is a fool’s game. Don’t do it. Just look them up on YouTube. Most of them are dumb. Chrono Trigger is a terrific game, but playing it that much is very draining.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – October 2015

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – September 2015

~It’s the most wonderful month of the yeeeeear~

Well, it was. October is fine too, but let’s reminisce on some of the ways I kept busy during September.

~ Game Over ~

Mega Man 4 (NES) – I had to. I just had to!

Mega Man 5 (NES) – It’s the boringest Mega Man, but it’s still pretty darn good.

Mega Man 6 (NES) – Yes, I have a sickness. Leave me alone.

Super Mario Bros 3 (NES) – Played it while waiting for Super Mario Maker. Somehow, this is my least-played Mario game, so I often forget how superb it is.

Monument Valley (iOS) – Speaking of superb, holy cow why did I wait so long to play this? It’s just barely a puzzle game, but the gimmick is good enough to support it to the end. Which comes really quickly, but before it gets boring.

Xeodrifter (WiiU) – I played and beat it on 3DS earlier this year, but apparently it was so bland that I forgot to log it. Anyway, it was released on Wii U recently and I got it for free so I gave it another go. It’s just as average as ever, but it looks really nice on a giant TV.

Year Walk (WiiU) – I felt October creeping up, and knew that it was time to start busting out the horror games. This one is a little more subtle about said horror, but it does pack a couple of jumpscares, so playing it at night was definitely a bad idea for me. Otherwise, it was an excellent game, with a completely unexpected second half.

Little Inferno (WiiU) – I questioned how much fun a replay of Little Inferno could be, but booted it up anyway. Turns out, it melted away an entire afternoon before I even realized it. So yeah, it’s just as good as the first time around. Not as surprising, but still totally zen.

Shovel Knight: Plague of Shadows (3DS) – Quite possibly the best DLC ever made. Plague Knight is an absolute blast to play, changes the gameplay significantly, and is a surprisingly lovable character. Shovel Knight may very well now be my Most Favouritest Game Ever. And there are still two more free DLC campaigns on the way…

~ Now Playing ~

Super Mario Maker (WiiU) – And to think that initially, I didn’t want this. Now my brain is constantly thinking about new levels to make, even while working and sleeping. I can’t shut it off!

Chrono Trigger (DS) – Still working toward a complete set of endings. It was going at a good clip until Super Mario Maker happened… I’m at 11/13.

Splatoon (WiiU) – The only problem with Splatoon is that I waited until two days before Mario Maker to buy it. Otherwise, I can finally understand why people sink so many hours into online shooters. It is lovely and perfect and has some incredible music.

Woah Dave! (3DS) – Sometimes you just need to kick back with a simple arcade-style game. And Woah Dave! is just a heck of a lot of fun. Also I’m terrible at it. My high score is like $1.

Fallout: New Vegas (PC) – Also making feeble amounts of progress here. Level 13, I think? And I haven’t even been to New Vegas proper yet.

Driv3r (XBOX) – Terrible. Poop from a butt. Will not be finishing this one. …Probably.

Metal Arms: Glitch in the System (XBOX) – I really don’t know how I missed this one back in the day. Maybe Nintendo Power just never covered it? It’s not really a hidden gem or anything, but it is a perfectly adequate third-person shooter, filled with goofy robots. Right up my alley. Just passed the first boss (who is several hours in…).

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – August 2015

August. What is there to say about August?

Absolutely nothing.

~ Game Over ~

Mega Man 6 (NES) – Typically one of the less-appreciated Megamns. I really like it! The Rush adapters are a lot of fun, and almost make up for the lameish robot master weapons. Also it’s maybe a little on the easy side, making it a breeze to burn through in an afternoon.

Life is Strange: Episode 4 – Dark Room (PC) – I was greatly disappointed by one of the bigger story beats, but enjoyed everything else about this episode. Many times I thought something horrible was going to happen, but it never did. Because they were saving it all for the end. Yikes.

Submerged (PC) – Lovely game about boating around a city that’s half underwater and climbing up buildings. It’s like Shadow of the Colossus, but with a boat instead of a horse, and a total lack of violence.  Only takes around five or six hours to complete, too.

Mega Man 4 (NES) – What? Ryan’s playing Mega Mans? WHAT A SURPRISE. …you know how I feel about Mega Man 4.

Mega Man (NES) – Ugh… this one is pretty bad. Have I mentioned that before? No unplayable, but frustrating and kind of a joke compared to the rest of the NES games.

Mega Man 2 (NES) – And then this one is so good. Not the best, but pretty darn close.

Mega Man 3 (NES) – This one is the best. I’ve even played it so many times now that I only have a little bit of trouble with the Doc Robot stages. Hooray!

~ Now Playing ~

Five Nights at Freddy’s (iOS) – I bought the mobile version because I thought it would be easier to handle if I could play it while in my parents’ living room with people around. Nope! The tension is still unbearable. Also it crashes like nobody’s business. So I’m stuck on Night 2 forever.

Bravely Default (3DS) – Playing over a year after everyone else got bored of it has a certain benefit: a lot of the streetpass/friend list bonuses are totally broken since my allies are all done the game, many of them having maxed out job levels and whatnot. And I’m really enjoying it! I’m already getting hyped for the sequel, though I’m only on chapter 3 of this game.

Picross e6 (3DS) – Mo’ Picross, mo’ problems. Or, not. Because Picross makes me happy.

Fallout: New Vegas (PC) – Don’t know what it is, but as much as I enjoy this game, I find it very difficult to invest time in it. Also, a maxed out Sneak stat isn’t nearly as effective as I’d like it to be.

Earthbound Beginnings (NES) – Honestly, it’s starting to feel a little tedious. If Lloyd and Ana had joined the party at a respectable level, maybe things could have been different… Whatever. I’m nearing the end. Just got to keep pressing forward. Sloooooowly.

Dark Souls (360) – Yeah I went back to this for a bit. Made some progress. Probably going to keep not writing about it though.

Papo & Yo (PC) – A puzzle platformer of sorts. Wherein the boy you play as has a robot for a backpack and a monster for a buddy. Also said monster sometimes goes on horrible, violent rampages after eating frogs. Only an hour in, it’s been enjoyable.

Chrono Trigger (DS) – Logged a couple hours in here. Chipping away at my goal of unlocking all of the endings, one baby step at a time. I currently have four of thirteen.

Secret of Mana (SNES) – Started a new run because my brother had never played it past Spikey. I don’t blame him. That’s a tough (and very cheap) boss. Might take forever to finish, because we usually play Monster Hunter or Smash Bros instead.

Zelda: Four Swords Adventures (GC) – Started a new run because my buddy had never played it. Might also take forever to finish. Because we have like seventeen million games on the go right now. (We are terrible at finishing games.)

And what a moment

I’ve only briefly mentioned In This Moment on this blog, but rest assured, I am a big fan. Been rocking The Dream for years now. Listen to it all this time. It’s a pretty perfect album for me; one of my all-time favourites (that “Call Me” cover? To die for). Despite that, I never bothered to check out the albums that came immediately before or after it.

I did, however, take Blood out for a spin as soon as it released. I was not terribly into it at the time, as it was way heavy and angry and violent. 2012 Ryan must have been some kind of sissy or something. I’ve been listening to it a lot lately and I’ve really gotten into it. Love the screaming. Love the rawness. Love how absolutely badass Maria is.

The fact is that I’m not good at following music, so I had no idea that In This Moment had released a new album in November of last year. I made getting Black Widow onto my iPhone my number one priority as soon as I learned of its existence. (Also Savages by Breathe Carolina, but that’s a story for another day.)

widowcover

I went for a walk as soon as it was done downloading so that I could listen to the album without distraction (I can’t sit still for a whole hour!). I was not prepared.

Black Widow opens with a ball-to-the-friggin’-wall instrumental piece that sets the scene very nicely. It’s got this pumping drum beat and air raid sirens and that weird radiation detector feedback noise. And it’s damn spooky. If I played this alone at night, I’d probably be frightened if it weren’t so cool. Great, great intro.

The rest of the album follows suit, with plenty of twisted, macabre lyrics. Maria’s voice isn’t as sweet as it used to be, and that goes very well with the grim subject matter. The industrial metal sound is not the kind of thing that I usually tell people I’m into, but I so am. Guitar riffs that will tear your face off, drums that you can feel in your gut. Even the more techno-influenced elements are perfectly in place, awesome and terrifying at the same time.

“Big Bad Wolf”, “Black Widow” and “Bones” are my favourite tracks, but I can’t deny that “Sex Metal Barbie” and “Sick Like Me” are just as great. “Dirty Pretty” seems like a Lady Gaga song, if Lady Gaga was more angry and hardcore. “The Fighter” is a sweet, confident track that starts with a duet between Maria and a piano, which builds nicely as the rest of the band joins in. “Sexual Hallucination” is an actual duet with some dude from a band I’ve never heard of (Shinedown). “Bloody Creature Poster Girl” and “Natural Born Sinner” are also songs on the album. Perfectly good but not really things that I have a specific thing to say about.

The last two tracks on the album, “Into the Darkness” and “Out of Hell” really turn the entire thing around. “Into the Darkness” is like a minute of Maria trying to justify her existence and express her love to an abusive male voice that is constantly slandering her. Then another solid minute of her sobbing in silence before regaining her composure and heading out the door. It’s one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever heard and makes me feel deeply uncomfortable every time. I suppose that’s the point. Art, man.

“Out of Hell” is a heartfelt ballad devoted to all those who’ve suffered life on the streets. It’s sorrowful and beautiful; tales of downtrodden youth and how difficult it can be to find support. Sadly, it’s hitting a little close to home these days, and makes me want to re-evaluate my entire self-centered life.

So yeah, Black Widow is definitely a home run with me. I’ve listened to it at least twice a day since I got it, so it’s safe to say that I dig it. It’s spooky, emotional, thought-provoking, confident. And it just rocks. There are layers to pick apart here, and I’m barely scratching the surface with this review.

I guess that’s enough words for now. I’m bad at talking about music and generally nobody takes my recommendations seriously anyway. Maybe because I don’t recommend the same cookie-cutter pop garbage pushed by record labels that the majority of people so willingly choke down.

METAL 4 LIFE

The Full List

You didn’t ask for it, but I know you’re curious. So here’s the complete list of video games I own that I’ve never played. This is not including re-releases that I haven’t played, but have played the original release (because there are lots of those too). Nor does it include games that I have played for at least one minute.

Prepare yourself, you are about to stare directly into the depths of my sickness.

Continue reading The Full List

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: December 2014

Merry MegaMas, everyone!

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~ Now Playing ~

Super Smash Bros for Wii U (WiiU) – Words about Smash Brothers.

Hyrule Warriors (WiiU) – Forever. It’s going to last forever.

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (WiiU) – Delightful. Though sometimes needlessly cruel.

Always Sometimes Monsters (PC) – Slow going on this one. I’ve played through two and a half days, and it seems like there isn’t always something to do? Maybe I need to talk to more people. Unless it gets more interesting, I might have to shelve this one. It’s a shame, because it seemed really neat at first.

Super Smash Bros for 3DS (3DS) – I told you last month, it’s considered beaten, but I’m not done with it yet. Had to hunt down all of those trophies! …and then just play more.

Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii) – Decided to go back to this for a bit because it’s wonderful and worth beating. We’ll see if I can make it though, as it gets incredibly difficult. Working on World 7 at the moment.

Alien: Isolation (360) – More of this happened, but very little progress was made. Stuck partway through chapter ten, I think?

A Kappa’s Trail (DSi) – A game I got for free through Club Nintendo. It’s one of those rare games that’s played entirely with the touch screen, but is also really good.

Sacred Citadel (PC) – I was intent on just burning my way to the end of this one, but then the difficulty spiked on Act 4 and I don’t really wanna grind levels…

Lucadian Chronicles (WiiU) – A card battle game. Free, so I gave it a shot. Passed the first chapter, don’t know if I’ll ever go back.

Saints Row IV (PC) – Here we go, down the rabbit hole again…

~ Game Over ~

Pokémon Alpha Sapphire (3DS) – Nuzlocke victory!!

Mega Man Legends (PS1) – One of my favourite Playstation games. Some of the best 3D visuals on the machine, if nothing else (there is plenty of else).

Evoland (PC) – It’s a cute little indie game wherein you actually collect the game mechanics, graphics, etc as you go. Eventually it loses is way and ends up being about twice as long as it needs to be. Still, at 3-4 hours long, it’s not a dealbreaker.

Dragon Quest (iOS) – It’s Dragon Quest. There’s not a lot to say about it.

The Letter (WiiU) – Not the worst dollar I’ve spent, but I’m a little disappointed that Nintendo is apparently letting just anything onto the eShop. Whatever happened to quality control?

Dead Bits (PC) – It’s kind of crappy. But I only paid sixteen cents for it, so I can’t really complain.

~ Re-Runs ~

Mega Man 4 (NES) – Still my favourite Mega Man.

Mega Man IV (GB) – A wonderful game through and through, with the single glaring exception of Crystal Man’s stage. It is, in a word, poop.

Mega Man II (GB) – Yup, still embarrassingly easy. Terrible soundtrack.

Mega Man 5 (NES) – Almost as easy. The Protoman and Wily Castles have some challenging levels, and Charge Man is the only boss that isn’t a complete pushover.

Mega Man 3 (NES) – Great until Doc Robot shows up. Then it becomes almost unbearably hard.

Mega Man III (GB) – The exact opposite of MMII GB. So, very difficult and perfect music (or at least as close to perfect as the Game Boy is going to get).

Super Mario Advance (GBA) – Intended to play through every stage, but I accidentally warped past World 6. Didn’t even know that there was a warp in 5-3, because I always use the 4-2 warp.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up: November 2014

Another month down, another month saturated with Smash Bros. Two flavours of Smash Bros this time, even! And also some other things. Mostly Zelda. Why do I even own any non-Nintendo machines?

~ Now Playing ~

Super Smash Bros for Wii U (WiiU) – Thank you, Nintendo.

Pokémon Alpha Sapphire (3DS) – Having completed the Generation VII Pokédex in Pokémon Y, I decided to eschew my normal Pokémon tendencies and do a nuzlocke run. It was going really well until my Voltorb died and now I don’t know if I have the will to go on. Poor Vince, he was so young…

Hyrule Warriors (WiiU) – I’d be done this if it weren’t for the massive DLC packs that keep coming out. They add weeks and weeks to the game’s already-pretty-long lifespan. And I haven’t even finished the original Adventure Mode yet!

Wii Fit U (WiiU) – I really shouldn’t bother writing this in, but I’ve been using it a lot lately! Enough that I’ve even gotten passably good at that waiter game that I used to hate with a firey passion. Still, every time I turn it on, I get a sad from remembering that I lost my Fit Meter long ago.

Always Sometimes Monsters (PC) – I don’t even know where to start with this one. It’s a 2D RPG in a modern setting, where you’ve got to wrangle up a bunch of money to pay your rent. There’s more than that, but I feel like going into it would ruin it. It’s a bit slow, but it seems like a good way to spend a few Saturday mornings.

Alien: Isolation (360) – It’s too scary to type anything about it!

Super Mario Advance (GBA) – This was the only GBA game I owned for quite a while, so I played the ever-loving crap out of it. That also gave me great deal of nostalgia for it. I’d love for it to be HD-ified, because it’s my favourite version of Mario 2, but the colours look so faded and it doesn’t fit quite right in GBA resolution.

~ Game Over ~

Super Smash Bros for 3DS (3DS) – I’m not ceasing to play it, but I’ve cleared all the challenges, so I’m calling it beaten.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii) – Probably should have lumped this one and Majora under “Re-runs” because I burned through them both fairly quickly, but I think the “Game Over” category has a little more clout. Or something. I really like Twilight Princess. This is the fifth time I’ve beaten it. To 100% (less the Poes because F the Poes).

The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (N64) – I always start writing this feature near the beginning of the month, and initially I’d written a blurb about how I’d like a 3DS remake of this game to happen. Guess what was announced literally that afternoon. Still played the N64 version because I had just dropped $10 on the Virtual Console version. You’re welcome.

Picross e5 (3DS) – Yup it’s another Picross game. And I played it.

Spirits (PC) – Kind of like Lemmings, but less cartoony and more artsy. Also your spirits can’t do nearly as many things as lemmings, and any action effectively kills them. I played through all the levels, but I just don’t care about it enough to bother with perfect clears. I wish that would stop being a thing.

Mighty Gunvolt (3DS) – A cute little 8-bit freebie they gave away with Azure Striker Gunvolt (which I still haven’t played). Four stages and a final boss of very base-level Mega Man-style action. Not totally fulfilling, but a good way to kill twenty minutes.

The Love Letter (PC) – An adorable browser game that I wrote about a week ago.

~ Re-Runs ~

Mega Man X2 (SNES) – I usually play through Mega Man X once or twice a year, but I only go through X2 every few years and almost never touch X3. It’s really too bad, because X2 is pretty good. I just don’t know the optimal way through the game, so it seems like I end up revisiting stages to collect power-ups more than I should have to.

Year of N64 – November – Majora’s Mask

It’s a little-known fact that The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask is my third-favourite Zelda game. Shocking, right? It’s a little divisive, but that’s only because of fools who can’t deal with the time limit. People who dive in headfirst and take the time to truly experience the game generally come out with a great appreciation for it and the living, breathing world that resides inside of it.

Majora’s Mask had it rough from the start; it was released on the same day as the Playstation 2. Whoops. Mega Man Legends 2 suffered from a very similar overshadowing, being released only two days prior. What a “fun” coincidence that two of the best sequels of that generation met with the same terrible fate.

Majora’s Mask wasn’t just a sequel though. It shared so much DNA with The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time that you might think it was the same game. However, Majora took things in a wild and disturbing new direction. Ocarina was a revolution for the series as far as visuals and gameplay went, bringing Zelda into 3D and all that. But it still stuck fairly close to the Zelda formula: go through eight(ish) dungeons and then fight Ganon. Get a Triforce, save the princess.

The thing that many whiny pimple-faced teenagers complained about the loudest is that Majora only has four proper dungeons. Only half of what was expected of it. Regular villain Ganon/dorf was nowhere to be seen, I don’t think he gets as much as a name drop. Even the titular princess Zelda only shows up in a brief flashback. The treasure in each dungeon is a different type of arrow. Things were amiss, and at the time, fans were not happy about it.

But there’s so much more to this game than popping in all the familiar elements, giving them a new coat of paint, and calling it a day. In fact, Majora’s Mask is the exact opposite. It re-uses Ocarina’s assets without shame, and keeps the vast majority of Ocarina’s tool set. The basic gameplay mechanics are the exact same. It’s all very familiar, but the way that all these thing are put together is like nothing before and nothing afterward.

As the story goes, out hero Link stumbles into the bizarre world of Termina, a place that seems familiar at first glace, but if distressingly alien upon closer inspection. Speaking of distress, there’s a gigantic, grinning moon in the sky, and it’s falling. In only three days, that moon will collide with the Earth, eradicating Termina and all of its inhabitants. It’s a tension-filled race against time.

Well, maybe not that tense. You see, you have the power to turn back time whenever you like, and start the three-day cycle anew. This throws a lot of people off. “How am I supposed to win in three days?” they ask, stupidly. You’re not. You’re supposed to accomplish a few little things on each cycle. You’re not expected to be doing something important for entire duration of all three of those days.

This repeating three-day cycle is the other huge point of contention among the haters. “But everything I did is undone when I reset time!” they complained, ignorantly. That’s kind of the whole point.

The overarching theme of Majora’s Mask is despair. It’s oppressive, violent, and bleak. As you play those three dire days over and over again, you’ll get to know the people of the land. You’ll see their excitement for the coming carnival slowly give way to despair for their coming doom. There are very few gaming experiences that are so chilling as running around Clock Town with only a few hours left to impact.

Take the postman for example. He jovially runs around town, picking up and delivering the mail every day. He is shackled to his rigid schedule, but he loves his work. He’s perfectly happy with his daily routine. Until the evening of the third day. If you enter the post office at that point, the postman will be writhing on the floor, unable to run for his life because of his duty to adhere to the schedule. On his bed is an opened letter, written to the postman by himself, urging him to flee even though it’s not on the schedule. But he can’t do it, can’t save his own life. His life is his work. What would he have left if he abandoned his post? It’s dark, it’s haunting, it’s beautiful.

Of course, you can help the postman. There is a way to convince him to run to safety. But then you start the cycle over, and it’s like you never did a thing. The new instance of the poor postman will probably spend his final hours in mental agony, wishing that he could run, but unable to. Because you won’t save him again. Why would you? You already have the Postman’s Hat for doing it once. Every future postman (until you complete the game) will die a horrible death.

That’s just how it is. Many of the people of Termina have problems. Some more dire or elaborate than others, and you’re literally only helping them for the prize. You’ll gain no satisfaction from giving them a hand, because when you turn back time, it’ll be like you never did anything at all. And you’re going to feel bad about it too, because these characters are very well-realized. while the NPCs in Ocarina were just sort of there, these are people with lives and schedules and personalities. You’ll get to know them well, watching them live out their last three days over and over again.

Yeah, it sounds really bleak and depressing. And it is! But think back, and try to imagine any other Zelda game that’s actually evoked an emotional response from you (aside from The Wind Waker). There probably aren’t any. Majora’s Mask is unique in that it’s a game world that makes you want to save it. You’ll feel beaten down and hopeless most of the time, but that just makes it that much more rewarding whenever you make those little bits of permanent progress.

When it first came out, I did feign disinterest in Majora’s Mask while in public, because that was the popular opinion amongst my peers, and high school is the very last place you want to stand out from the crowd. But secretly, I adored it. I was charmed by its offbeat world, I appreciated the three-day cycle, and I loved the grim atmosphere that permeated the entire game. There was a point in time where I would go home after school every day and play it until I fell asleep. Must have beaten it four or five times in a row. Even if it’s not the best video game, it’s absolutely a work of art. I can’t wait to experience the polished-up version on 3DS.

Attack of the Garbage Bag Men! I mean Giant Leeches!

I was reading some of X-Entertainment’s old movie reviews the other day, which were, if you weren’t already aware, the inspiration for this blog. You really can’t find writing like that any more. Even DinoDrac doesn’t have that same tone. But that’s what time does. The internet is a much different place than in was in 2002. Thoughtfully-written websites and blogs are gone in favour of mindless Tweets and Facebook statuses. Luckily, things tend to stick around forever on here.

Reading those old reviews sparked my will to write, and my initial inspiration was to write a big long blog post about why I don’t watch movies any more. But that very quickly became a huge mess of partial thoughts and poorly-described neuroses. So I burned it down and tried to create a shorter, point-form version of it. That ended up in pretty much the same boat, so I axed it as well.

Then I had a flash of brilliance: Why not actually just watch a movie and then review it?

The problem was where to start. The frightening truth is that I haven’t watched about a quarter of the movies I own. There was a lot to choose from. But it had to be something reviewable. And by that, I mean corny and easy to make fun of. I figured that I’d already set a precedent, so I might as well try something else from the Roger Corman box set.

And that’s why you’re going to read about Attack of the Giant Leeches today.

Continue reading Attack of the Garbage Bag Men! I mean Giant Leeches!