Yep. I know I didn’t post an article last week. And so the streak ends. It was a good run though. Anyhow, I’ve been at the cottage for the last four days, and damn did I get a lot accomplished. Most importantly, I learned to bake pie. This is probably going to end up a bad thing though, because now I can create pie whenever I want, and it’ll likely be my downfall. Secondly, I finished Kingdom Hearts 2 with a 100% completion rate. It was a bitch, but I did it. I’m proud of myself. And the game was pretty awesome too. A little easy due to Forms being totally broken, but fun no less. So now, links!
Remember when I went nuts over the prospect of Biker Mice From Mars on DS? Trailer! While it certainly looks like it could be good, they really need to inject some, oh, I dunno, action into it. Not a whole lot going on there.
I know I’m really late on this one, but if you haven’t seen the PS3 vs. Wii vid yet, hurry up. Hot chicks in boy shorts are always excellent promotional tools.
After just over a week of being under repair (felt like forever though), Tyler’s back!
I finally got my hands on Remastered Tracks Rockman Zero 4: Physis. I heartily approve! Even the drama tracks (which are diaogue explaining the story, and entirely in Japanese) are pretty cool. Sample, anyone? (right-click, save as)
HA! It’s just in the nick of time, but there’s an article up this week. It’s an old article, but it’s been lost for years now, so I figure why not post it? There’s a slight chance you’ve seen it, but I highly doubt that. It’s short too. I don’t know what else to say.
[Editor’s Note: This was riginally written as a guest article. I changed some obvious phrases, but it something doens’t make sense, just keep that in mind]
Now it’s a bit odd, but I decided that I m posting an article here when it was intended to be a guest article for another site. Weird, no? Well that’s the way it’s going to be, and you’re going to have to deal with it. I ran out of time, and it’s the only backup I had left. Sure this contains very little of the brilliance of my regular articles, but it shall be something to read nonetheless. The pictures are as well low-budget, as I don’t want to take the time to take screenshots if I’m not even doing this seriously, so I just stole them from a Google image search.
This review is obviously (as long as you took the time to read the link and the title) about the game Super Smash TV. It’s a game that I really enjoy, and was playing a lot for a while back in October. The game is very simplistic, as it is derived from an arcade game of a similar name. While the arcade version might have a few extra scenes and (slightly) better looking models (I think, I only glanced at one screenshot. In the console version, they look like ugly men.), there probably isn’t a whole lot of difference between the two.
The game is basically you and possibly a friend running around a maze, killing hordes of enemies and picking up a bunch of prizes along the way. It’s set up as some sort of futuristic game show, and I think it’s pretty accurate, as with the current trend of violence-loving and reality TV, a real life Smash TV might not be far off. But that sad, sad fact aside, the game is pretty fun. It’s also pretty hard, and I can’t get too far without cheating. There are tons of enemies, way more than in any Gauntlet game, even. And the bosses have tons of life and really enjoy killing you.
Even though it’s almost always the same thing over and over, I find that the game doesn’t get too boring after playing it a lot. The only real different rooms are the cash rooms and bosses. The only annoying part of the game is at the end of a level, when your points are tallied up. It’s fine if you do badly, but if you get a lot of stuff, it can take a long time to add up all your points. And the worst part is that you can’t skip it, you have to sit for 1 to 3 minutes waiting for the points to count up.
Now like I said, you basically just go around shooting stuff. Enemies constantly flood out of each side of the room, and you just can’t stop them. Fortunately, there are a whole bunch of power-ups to help take the gaggles of goons out. A bunch of weapons are at your disposal, like machine guns, rocket launchers, and spread shots. Then there are other things like the speed-up, invincibility, and a shield. The only thing is that the rooms last a long time, and the power-up don’t last nearly long enough to be of maximum use. But they do appear quite often, so it sort of balances out.
The bosses, on the other hand, are incredibly hard to beat if you’re not cheating. They’re pretty big, have a lot of weapons, and are slightly faster than yourself. Not only that, but they take forever to kill, and most of the time, your forced to use special weapons because normal guns don’t work at all. So not only are they very hard to not get killed by, but they take forever to beat, too. If there is an upside, it’s that the third one (I think) looks just like the announcer guy, and I thought that was pretty funny.
Now that I’m done with the summary, here’s my point tally.
Graphics:
They look fine for the SNES, and I think they’re mostly the same as the arcade version. The only real downside is that the game show babes are beastly. The greatest thing is that there can be about 40 things moving on the screen at the same time with no slowdown whatsoever. Or at least none that I can recall. 8
Sound & music
I can’t really remember there being any music. I guess it was all drowned out by the shooting and the dying. There are a few voice samples for the announcer, and they’re pretty good compared to most voice samples in game of that time. And by that, I mean that you can tell what he’s saying. 6
Controls
This is where the game really shines. You control your guy with the d-pad, and which way he shoots with the face buttons, so you can move and shoot in different directions. If you’re playing the ROM and have a dual-analog gamepad, try setting movement to one stick and shooting to the other. I couldn’t get it to work, but I imagine it would work very nicely. 10
Fun
It’s good fun, and is just as good with two players. It can really get competitive if you’re both obsessed with getting all the loot, so it really adds to the fun of the game. It loses a few points because the bosses take way too long to kill and the game is just too damn hard to get very far. 8
Overall
I enjoy the game, but not in extended periods of time. I might beat a few rooms one day, save state, play a few rooms the next day, and so on. The lack of notable/memorable music is a real downer for me, but that just means I can turn off the sound and pop in one of my CDs without feeling cheated out of awesome music. It’s games like this that are the foundation of what an arcade should be. We need less of those damned shooting and fighting games and more of the old-school adventureish games like this or that Ninja Turtles arcade game. Overall, I’ll give it a 7.
So that’s about it. I do feel a little low for posting this on my site, it’s not exactly up to my general standards. But what can I say, it took me about an hour to write, including the time it took me to figure out what I’d write about, get the pictures, and write the thing. So I guess the last little note I should tack on here is that if you’ve got a friends nearby and a couple of PC gamepads, go download this ROM now, or buy one of the many classic arcade compilations that have this game on it. It’s a game worth trying out, and as I’ve said for many a game before this, it’s great for killing time.
Went to see Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night. As expected, it was excellent. Might have even been better than Anchorman, and damn do I love Anchorman. It’s the only movie (I own) that I’ve watched more than four times (aside from the original Star Wars trilogy). Anyway, Talladega. It’s hilarious, the actors are excellent, and it’s even got a badass soundtrack. There’s nothing not to enjoy. Maybe they drag a couple jokes out for too long, but other than that, there isn’t anything to complain about. Oh, and since it’s a NASCAR movie, there’s plenty of product shilling, which is normally kind of annoying, but it’s a NASCAR movie, so you really can’t complain, as NASCAR is like the biggest sellout… thing… ever. And they play a lot of jokes off the product placement too, so it works out. Not like that damned Will Smith. Like I care about stupid Converse.
So in conclusion, um, yeah, go see it. It’s worth the (x) dollars, and I know I’m going to be paying another (x) dollars when it’s released on DVD. Maybe then I’ll finally pick up Old School too. Been meaning to get that for quite some time now…
There was something I wanted to link to today, but being a Boy Of Very Little Brain, I’ve forgotten what it was. I can’t find it again, whatever it was, so to make up for the lack of a link, I’ve moved over a couple more old articles from Angelfire to the dot-net. Someday they’ll all be moved. Probably the day before I decide to give up on this internet crap, but it’ll happen. Anyway, I have to do some rambling on a somewhat deeper level right now, so just ignore the next paragraph unless you’re really interested in me. That means you, stalkers.
While I was rummaging through my old junk, I found a rather personal hidden document that was written by me circa 2002. What that document was about, I’d rather not say. I know that there are a couple people out there who’ve stumbled onto other secret documents of mine, and I can assure you it’s not what you think. I do bring it up for a reason though. After reading it thoroughly, I can do nothing but smile. Why? Because it makes me happy to know that I’ve become happy. I think maybe I was more troubled as a youth than I remember, and I’m very pleased to know that things have gotten much better. I’ve clearly grown as a person, and I like seeing something that really shows that, even if the contents of said documents fill me with shame. It also makes me wonder how much growing I still have to do. I know that there are still some personal issues and hurdles to overcome, but I’m kinda looking forward to the day I can. Damn, I feel like I’m some kind of sullen hero having his cliché self-acceptance moment. And no, that wasn’t my link. It just kind of fit. So yeah, I guess that’s everything. I’m not great at writing about stuff like this (some may argue that I’m not too good at writing about anything), and truth be told, I’m a little embarassed to be publishing it to a public place. I guess that’s really the reason I keep this blog though, so I can write about junk and know that someone, no matter how random, might read it. I would never want to talk about this kind of stuff with anyone, but the idea that someone might know what’s going through my head is actually rather comforting to me. And look at that, I managed to drag it out some more. Well, this is the real end. It’s probably best you just ignore everything in this parapraph. Except the link. It’s pretty funny.
I had an inkling when I heard about XBox Live Arcade that the chances that I would one day own an XBox 360 had risen astronomically. Now, thanks to Jeremy Parish, it’s nigh inevitable.
Servbots! I could ignore the MegaMan X suit, but I cannot hope to resist the Servbots. If you’d played MegaMan Legends, you’d know exactly why. Read the post on ToastyFrog for more info.
My iPod got royally messed the other day. Read the tale here. Hopefully it’ll be corrected one way or another pretty soon… I miss the little guy.
I recenty read through the Ugly Hill archive. Good stuff.
If you love platformers and theses, I recommend reading this study on platform games. I spent my Friday night reading all 31 pages of it, and I don’t entirely regret it. Then again, I’m a huge nerd.
Apparently there was recently a Masturbate-athon held in London. I’m still trying to figure out why I wasn’t the guest of honour.
I’m not going to argue with this list of the Top Ten Manliest Superheroes, mostly because they included Grifter (a personal favourite), but I really think that despite Bruce Banner being kind of a pussy, the Hulk should have been on it somewhere.
A little over a year ago, I purchased a game for my Nintendo DS called Meteos. It was a pretty simple-looking puzzle game that was getting very respectable press. Since I adore puzzle games, I was going to get it even before I heard how good it was. So I bought it. And by God, was I impressed.
I started playing Meteos again about a week ago, and it’s easily just as addictive and fun as it was a year ago. Of all the DS games I own, I think I’ll be coming back to this one the most over time. There’s nothing not to love about Meteos. It’s frantic, it’s engaging, and there’s a good level of strategy associated with it. You can pick up, learn, and have fun with Meteos just as easily as you can Tetris, but just like Tetris, you’ll have to pick up on a few tricks and techniques before you can earn mind-boggling scores. A year later, my skills haven’t slipped at all, and I’ve even finally been able to reach the elusive “The Ascent” ending.
One coolest things about Meteos is the music. It’s not like other games in that there’s just BGM playing while you do your thing. No. You essentially create the music as you go, with each successful Meteo match-up inciting a little tune, and different tunes being playe for bigger matches, higher combos, etc. I know the Wind Waker was a little bit like that in the way that attacking enemies would produce short melodies, but no other games that I’ve played really even attempt such a neat feature. The other thing I really love is that once you get into Meteos, Meteos gets into you. I know that on days that I’ve spent playing the game, that when I close my eyes at night, I see Meteos falling and then my mind just starts to play its own game. And not by choice either. It just happens, and I love it.
So why do I bring it up? Because I don’t think I’ve ever talked about Meteos before. That, and I really wish they would re-release it with WiFi capabilities. Just like nearly every muliplayer game, it’s so much more fun to play against other people. I’ve been trying to get my brother to buy it ever since I got it, but no such luck. Sure, there’s a single-card option, but we don’t play often enough for him to get good by that alone. I think my only real chance of getting some really good multiplayer Meteos going on is later this year, when Buena Vista Games releases Meteos: Disney Edition (which will hopefully include a WiFi option). I mean, I’m sure everyone that bought Meteos would adore WiFi play, and since they won’t be re-releasing the original, that’s probably the best we can hope for. The only downside to Wifi Meteos would be that my productivity would go from six to zero.
Once again, I’ve been up to some cooking mischief. And this time when I say mischief, I really mean mischief. Normally when I go to make something I stick pretty close to the recipe, as most novice chefs do. I mean, there’s no way I anywhere near qualified to add my own little “touches” to any dish, especially when I’m actually making something (as opposed to preparing a pre-made meal). But rules are mean to be broken and all that jazz. So I took it upon myself (with some slight inspiration from Scary-Crayon and I-Mockery) to create a dish best served… well, probably best not served at all.
But this time I won’t be alone in my rantings! As you may have guessed by that portrait to the right there, I’ll be joined in my culinary adventure by ShadowMan of MegaMan 3 fame. You know, since he’s not up to much these days. I mean, the last work he had was in Rockman Battle & Chase, and that was almost a whole decade ago. Now he’s reduced to co-starring in crappy articles on websites that nobody reads. Poor, poor ShadowMan.
Ryan : Okay, so I’ve got the plan set out here ShadowMan. I’ve woken up early, and I need something to do with my morning. I’ve chosen to try my hand at making pancakes.
ShadowMan : Pancakes? Well I suppose that since it is 7:30 in the morning, that’s appropriate enough. But what in the world makes you think you have the skills necessary to make pancakes?
Ryan : Believe it or not, my pixelated friend, I have successfully created pancakes in the past.
ShadowMan : I choose not to believe that.
Ryan : Fine then. But it’s true. At least one of my brothers can attest to this. He was there and he ate some. Sure, they turned out looking like crap because I did a very poor flipping job, but they tasted okay. Except for they tasted like crap because I decided it would be a good idea to use both chocolate and butterscotch chips.
ShadowMan : Butterscotch? What the flip were you thinking?
Ryan : Probably something along the lines of “Hey! This might be a good idea!”
ShadowMan : You fail to surprise me.
Ryan : I wasn’t trying, my friend. I wasn’t trying. So anyway, let’s move on to the pancakes.
ShadowMan : I’m not your friend.
Ryan : The first logical step would be to round up the tools I’m gonna need. Based on my limited knowledge of cooking and what I remember of the last time I made pancakes, I’m going to need a pan, a mixer, a small bowl, a large bowl, a spatula, measuring cups, and a mixing spoon.
ShadowMan : Dude… What’s with all the colour swapping? It’s giving me a damn seizure.
Ryan : Key items. When someone mentions a key item, place, or person, the word is always highlighted in a different colour.
ShadowMan : Yeah, whatever. Stop being a douche and type in one colour. I’m sure anyone else who reads this is going to get mighty annoyed by it as well.
Ryan : Well sorry. I didn’t know it bothered you so much. But while you were so busy complaining about text colour, I managed to find all the tools we need, except a pan and a spatula. The only suitable ones are in the dishwasher right now.
ShadowMan : Well what about that pan pictured above?
Ryan : It’s too round. I can’t very well cook round pancakes can I?
ShadowMan : Just use the damn thing. You can make smaller pancakes in the middle if you’re so damn worried about the roundness of it all. Besides, I already greased it up, so you have to use it or you’re wasting a dish.
Ryan : But I didn’t get out the cooking spray… How did you grease it?
ShadowMan : I’m going to keep that information between me and the pan.
Ryan : And now, the secret to my success! The cookbook!
ShadowMan : Wow. Great secret. Totally blows my mind. But seriously, this thing looks like it’s older than you.
Ryan : Well I’m not even 20 yet. It very well could be.
ShadowMan : Well then don’t you think that maybe the pancake recipe has, you know, improved over the last couple decades? That handy internet thing is bound to have a recipe for pancakes somewhere.
Ryan : You know, now that I think of it, you’re actually younger than me. Let’s see.. MegaMan 3 came out in ’91, so you’re… 15?
ShadowMan : Hey! Don’t try to change the topic! And for the record, I’m from the future. 20XX to be precise.
Ryan : Oh psssh. You’re 15. Now how the Hell did you manage to get away with driving in Battle & Chase? There’s no way you were old enough to have a driver’s license back then.
ShadowMan : Robot Masters don’t need driver’s licenses. And you’re not really one to talk, now are you, Mr. Almost-20-And-Can’t-Drive?
Ryan : Aw shut up. Let’s just make the stupid pancakes.
ShadowMan : That’s the spirit. Or lack thereof, perhaps. What does your cookbook say we need?
Ryan : It says we need flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, milk, an egg, and butter.
ShadowMan : This will be easy. I’ll go grab the stuff in the pantry, you get the goods from the fridge.
ShadowMan : And just what do you think you’re gonna be doing with that?
Ryan : I just had the wildest idea. Let’s replace the milk with chocolate milk!
ShadowMan : No no no. Killing hookers is a wild idea. Using chocolate milk in baking is just stupid. Do you really think that’s a good idea?
Ryan : No. Not at all. Experience has taught me on many occasions that substituting chocolate milk for real milk is a terrible idea. But let’s do it anyway!
ShadowMan : *Sigh* Fine. Whatever. I won’t be eating these things anyway, so put whatever you damn well please in there.
Ryan : Horray! Okay, so first we’ve gotta put the flour, salt, sugar, and baking powder into the big bowl. That’s done, so then we have to put the egg, milk, and butter into a smaller bowl and mix it up.
ShadowMan : Nothing about that looks right.
Ryan : Hey, at least I didn’t get any eggshell in it.
ShadowMan : I guess I owe you a little credit for that one. I certainly expected most of it to end up in there. But… weren’t you supposed to melt the butter first?
Ryan : Aw shat. No problem, I’ll just pop it in the microwave for a minute.
ShadowMan : I have a bad feeling about this.
Ryan : It’ll be just fine. You’ll see. So while we’re waiting, what’s it like not having any female Robot Masters around. It’s gotta get a little frustrating, if you know what I mean.
ShadowMan : No, not really. We weren’t programmed with a sex drive. And besides, there’s always Roll.
Ryan : Yeah, that’s true. But there are also 54 Wily-series Robot Masters. Roll’s gotta be a little… worn out by now.
ShadowMan : I wouldn’t know, and I don’t really want to. But word on the street is that RingMan and HardMan… you know, bat for the other team. So it’s not like we don’t have options.
Ryan : That’s none of my business.
ShadowMan : I was kidding man. Lighten up.
Microwave :Ding!
Ryan : See, it worked. Now all I have to do is mix this crap up with the mixer. I love this part. My mom never lets me play with this thing, so now that everyone’s gone out for the day and I have the kitchen to myself, it’s mixer time!
ShadowMan : There’s an odd sensation going down my spine. Is this what fear feels like?
Ryan : Oh pah. I know how to use this thing. See, look! It’s all mixed up and nobody lost any appendages.
ShadowMan : So then pour it into the powdery junk.
Ryan : Hold on, they’re about to reveal the secret ingredient!
ShadowMan : Secret wha…? Oh Jesus no.
Ryan : Oh Jesus yes! I got the idea when I read in the cookbook that you can add blueberries to the pancakes. But we don’t have blueberries, so this Nesquik Strawberry-Banana Smoothie mix should do the trick!
ShadowMan : It won’t do any tricks! Stop this insanity! The chocolate milk was bad enough but this is waaaaay over the line!
Ryan : But you told me to put whatever I wanted in it…
ShadowMan : Ughh… Well, I suppose that people do put bananas and strawberries in pancakes, so I guess adding in a syrupy crap that tastes vaguely like both won’t necessarily be horrible. But you know what, I kind of hope it does. You clearly need to learn some sort of lesson here, and if having to choke down the Worst Pancakes Ever will get that lesson across, then so be it.
Ryan : What were you saying? I stopped listening at… Well, when you started talking.
ShadowMan : I hate you.
Ryan : Aww, you’re my best friend too.
ShadowMan : Just put your death goop in the big bowl with the rest of the stuff already.
Ryan : It looks like syphilis.
ShadowMan : Is that an educated comparison?
Ryan : I blame the internet.
ShadowMan : Please just mix it. I think it gave me a dirty look.
Ryan : Okay. I’ll do that.
ShadowMan : Oh dear lord, It’s just getting worse.
Ryan : Actually, I think it smells rather pleasant. Like cookies!
ShadowMan : Stop touting your olfactory organ, meatbag. Just because I can’t smell doesn’t mean you’re better than me. I know 27 ways to kill you with my little finger!!
Ryan : Meatbag?
ShadowMan : Yeah. Meatbag.
Ryan : I thought you hated Futurama for its “racist representation of robots.”
ShadowMan : Bender isn’t the only robot who refers to humans as meatbags, you know. Didn’t you ever play KOTOR?
Ryan : Now now, nobody wants to talk about the XBox. I’m done mixing anyway.
ShadowMan : …It’s on PC too… Oh cripes! That stuff is way too thick! There’s no way in Hell that’s going to turn into pancakes.
Ryan : Well then what do I do?
ShadowMan : Okay, I’m clearly modeled to be a ninja, not a chef. How in the crap am I going to know what to do?
Ryan : Oh hey, what if I put more chocolate milk in there? That might even it out.
ShadowMan : That actually sounds rather reasonable. I suppose the only way to find out is to try it, but if it doesn’t work, I think these pancakes are going to be a big, messy write-off.
Ryan : Yaaaah! Go, chocolate milk! Fix this horrid batter!
ShadowMan : Did you really need to make it 25 seconds long? I mean, I think you’d driven the point home by five.
Ryan : Hey, it’s my first YouTube thingy. It needs to be grand! Also I forgot which button on my camera stops video recording. But hey, at least the batter turned out alright.
ShadowMan : Yes, it does look shockingly like pancake batter. Though it’s a little darker than usual. But of course we’ve got the chocolate milk to blame for that.
Ryan : Okay, so now that the batter is all ready, we just need to shape it into pancakes! But we’re going to need a spatula before I start slopping this junk into the pan.
ShadowMan : Whee! Jumping across perilous ledges is really fun! I’m starting to understand why that retard MegaMan is doing it all the time!
Ryan : Quit fooling around. The spatula is clearly not there. I already told you it’s in the dishwasher.
ShadowMan : So just use one of these things.
Ryan : I’m pretty sure none of those could act as a spatula. Not in the slightest.
ShadowMan : Pish posh, this fellow here could get the job done! He’s hard worker, and since he comes from Mexico, he’ll work for pennies a day! He doesn’t even fight back when I pelt him with shuriken!
Ryan : Ah. A shot at the Mexicans. Just what this article needed.
ShadowMan : Exactly. So how about it? Give it a try?
Ryan : No, I think I’ll just go with a fork. I may have to pay him the minimum wage, but at least he doesn’t stink the place up.
ShadowMan : You know, I think we’d better stop before this goes into “racist” territory.
Ryan : I think it’s too late. In fact, I’m pretty sure some left-wing jerkoff out there thinks you’re some sort of racist stereotype.
ShadowMan : No, you’ve got me confused with TomahawkMan. Also, I wasn’t created by Sony.
Ryan : Ooh. Low blow. Is there anyone else we need to take a shot at?
ShadowMan : No, I’m pretty sure by this point, we’ve made at least one comment to piss everyone off.
Ryan : Good good. So these things are turning out pretty well, no?
ShadowMan : How the Hell should I know? You haven’t been taking any pictures.
Ryan : Oops. Well, yeah, they are doing pretty well. My flipping skill has certainly increased, as I haven’t messed a single one up yet. Though that damned pan sticks up too much and I keep burning myself on it.
ShadowMan : So then put on some oven mitts, you little baby.
Ryan : That’s some pretty tough talk coming from the guy who’s weakness is the goddamned Top Spin.
ShadowMan : Hey! Hey! That’s not my fault! I was born that way!
Ryan : Yeah, whatever, ya big wuss.
Ryan : Dude…
ShadowMan : What?
Ryan : The cookbook said that the recipe would make 8-9 pancakes. I got friggin’ 12.
ShadowMan : Well, you did make a few pretty small. That might have something to do with it. Or also the fact that when you probably should’ve added another half-cup of chocolate milk to even out the batter, you threw in like a cup and a half.
Ryan : Are you blaming me?
ShadowMan : Yes.
Ryan : Well, you’re probably right. But seeing as how there are so many here, I think you’re gonna have to help me eat these things.
ShadowMan : Oh no you don’t! My contract states that I only have to be here to provide colour commentary and appear in a few pictures. It says nowhere that I actually have to ingest this crap.
Ryan : Well they still smell alright. I don’t think they’re going to be too bad.
ShadowMan : Shampoo smells pretty good too, but do you eat that?
Ryan : That’s completely different!
ShadowMan : Is it really?
ShadowMan : To your credit, I will admit that they are rather nice and fluffy. I could sleep on these things.
Ryan : I think you’d be surprised at how good they taste. Wait. Let me rephrase that. I think you’d be surprised at how awful they aren’t.
ShadowMan : Your point does not make up for horrid grammar. It burns me to the soul. But they’re actually good?
Ryan : I rephrased for a reason. They don’t taste good, but they certainly aren’t putrid. I would willingly put more of these in my mouth.
ShadowMan : Um. You’re not really getting the idea across. You’re going to need to be more specific.
Ryan : Okay, fine. They taste… like pancakes. Not very good pancakes, but pancakes no less. You can just barely make out the strawberry-banana flavour, despite the fact that they’re radiant pink.
ShadowMan : Despite the fact that you can’t tell how pink they are in the photos.
Ryan : Correct. The chocolate milk seems to have had no effect on them whatsoever, possibly made them a little darker. They’re chewier than regular pancakes, but not by much. It’s almost as if you’re eating McDonald’s hotcakes without taking them out of the styrofoam container. Except it doesn’t taste like styrofoam.
ShadowMan : Well damn it. I guess I owe TenguMan a 20-spot.
Ryan : What? Why?
ShadowMan : I bet him that your pancakes would turn out worse than Jessica Simpson’s marriage.
Ryan : Ouch. And what’s worse is TenguMan’s a total jackass, so you know he’s gonna be rubbing it in your face as much as he can.
ShadowMan : You don’t have to tell me.
ShadowMan : Giving up already?
Ryan : Ugh… They’re more filling than they appear. I got six down though. That’s not so bad.
ShadowMan : Only six? That’s pathetic! Why don’t you just go down to the repossession office and hand in your balls? And then you can go home and cry to your boyfriend.
Ryan : Shut up.
ShadowMan : Ha. Do you see that, do you see what I did there? I made it seem as though you were a homosexual… That’s funny to me.
Ryan : Who’s the one that was talking about having his options open to plow HardMan?
ShadowMan : Touché.
And that essentially concludes… that. I don’t know. Do I really need a conclusion? I thought that I summed it up pretty well. But then again, those shurikens would be slightly less necessary if there weren’t a conclusion to separate from the body text. Yeah.
I pretty much expected those pancakes to kill me, however slowly. But they turned out pretty damn well, all things considered. I’d normally fake disgust for comedic effect, but I don’t really feel like it. I already had to write a whole dialogue, that should be enough. What more do you want from me? Besides, I’m sure someone out there would stumble in here and be stupid enough to actually try it, and then call me out for outright lying about how they ended up. Wow. How badly do I need to chill out?
Remember the good old days when I used to separate my intros and conclusions from the body text? Yeah, those were the days. I’ll admit, I kind of like the new fancy-banner all-in-one article layout, but nostalgia is something I just can’t escape. And it gets worse and worse every day… Well, I shouldn’t be rambling so much here. That’s what the blog is for! Good night, folks!
First things first, I’ve gone around and fixed some archive pages that were missing, had bad links, that kind of thing. Mostly added some archive backlog. So that should be completely up-to-date now.
Also, I’ve taken the liberty of uploading this week’s article. It’s in the usual spot, so I don’t think I really need to link you to it. Again, I really like it. You may not feel the same way, and that’s too bad, really. I even enjoyed writing it and taking the pictures, and that’s a rare thing to happen. Well, enough of this crap, get to it!
But this time I won’t be alone in my rantings! As you may have guessed by that portrait to the right there, I’ll be joined in my culinary adventure by ShadowMan of MegaMan 3 fame. You know, since he’s not up to much these days. I mean, the last work he had was in 
