News, everyone! After like ages, there’s a new Steve article to be read. It’s like here or something. That is all.
Wish you were here
Bear with me for a couple paragraphs here, I really need to vent a bit. What about? Everything basically. I don’t know how it’s been for you, but 2007 is shaping up to be one really shitty year for me. The first week or so was looking pretty positive, but after that, things just started going wrong and it’s only gotten worse. Imagine a world where I, a man who can barely stand doing household chores, finds the only place where he’s even close to happy is at work. And lately, I’m not even there all that often anymore. I wouldn’t complain, but financial responsibility just crept up and hit me like a Thwomp, so it’s looking like I’m going to need a second job. Fantastic. I’ve tried a myriad of different sentences here, but I’m just not sure where to go from that… so let’s jump ahead a little and skip on a few choice details.
I guess having two jobs and working everyday, possibly even twice a day sometimes, would augment my income significantly, and that would be great. I’ve been entertaining thoughts of moving out a lot lately, and even if I had to struggle (and I know I would), it’s something I really feel I need to do. It’s part of this thing I’m going thorugh where I’m really focused on not needing anyone, and that comes from what might be my biggest issue: my growing anti-socialism. Lately it’s getting so bad that I don’t even want to be around my family anymore. There were a lot of people (percentage-wise anyway, I know like seven people) who I’d normally get along well with, even to the point where sometimes I’d wish they were around more often, but lately I’m just angry at everyone and try to be alone as much as possibe. I mean, I know that I’m the kind of person that’s going to have a lot of alone time (to put it nicely), and that doesn’t bother me, but it’s getting bad to the point where my civil nature is wearing thin. I’m not much for making friends, but the last thing I want is to make enemies, and this isn’t going to be helping that cause.
Of course, there’s always one exception to the rule, and mine is quite the horrid one. I know everyone has to sort this kind of thing out at some point, but I really feel like I should be above the “crush”. Seriously. It just feels so goddamned juvenile and ridiculous that I cannot stand suffering from it. I’m not fucking fourteen, I shouldn’t have to put up with this crap. Of course, I haven’t got anywhere near the proper people skills required to deal with something like this, and so like everything else, I just try to ignore it and make it go away. And we’re not even going to get into how well that’s working out. Hopefully ranting out a little like this will slow the burn a bit. It’s not much, but I know it’s out there where potentially anyone in the world can read it, so that’s somewhat comforting. Also, there’s no way in Hell I could ever directly talk to someone about it. That would make me feel like even more of a jackass.
Shit, I’ve gone on a little longer than I expected. Well, I guess I’ll wrap it up then. We haven’t even scratched the surface of my issues, but at least it feels a little better to get it out there. Some of it. There are a lot of things swimming around in my gigantic head that I don’t want to touch on even here. I mean, I know what all my problems are. I know exactly where they come from, and why they don’t go away or whatever. It’s not like I need a shrink to tell me why I’m so fucked up. I’ve heard that you’re only insane if you’ve got issues and you think you’re sane, so I guess I’m not crazy. Let’s give it some time though. A nuthouse might not be the best way to live, but damn, it would sure be a lot easier than having to deal with life.
Bring your attention to me
So Nintendo World Report is doing a big tribute to the GameCube this week. It’s a pretty awesome and extensive look back at all the great things about the lil’ purple box. The centerpiece of the tribute, though, is the Greatest GameCube Games feature. It’s nice to take a look back at some of the games that really helped the GC through its early/middle years. It’s just too bad it didn’t see equally good support near the end there. Solid list though. So far, anyway.
Aside from that junk, I don’t know. The internet’s been kinda boring lately. S’okay though, because I’ve been spending the past week or so absorbed in Hotel Dusk. It’s nice to see a really solid adventure-ish game on the DS. I mean, Trace Memory was good, but not “buy it” good. Hotel Dusk is totally a buyer though. It’s very seldom that I get so engrossed in the narrative of a video game (see Silent Hill and Tales of The Abyss), but then again, that’s about all Hotel Dusk has.
I think the thing about that is that when I like the story in a game, it’s really all about either the characters or the overall atmosphere. Recent Tales games have been full of really well-develpoed and often hilarious characters, rounded out with brilliant dialogue and high-grade voice acting. The Silent Hill series may be in rough waters as far as gameplay goes, but it’s never failed to present an immediate sense of dead and solitude. Oh sure, there are usually other characters around now and then, but they’re rarely there for any more than a quick jaw. Hell, even Killer7, a shooter of all things, presented a highly elaborate plot, yet it stayed enjoyable and never descended into complete retardation like, oh, let’s say Final Fantasy 7. It was really fragmented over the course of the game, but always remained smart and deep, ultimately tying into a thick, meaty plot in the end.
So yeah. All that nonsensical jabber to say that Hotel Dusk is really good. And maybe I place a little more importance on story than I’d previously assumed. At least when it benefits me.
Goddamn fantastic
The 2007 Christmas Gift Roundup
You might not have ever noticed, but back in January of last year, I never actually posted a big ol’ rundown of all the assorted junk I got for Christmas. I guess the main reason is that I felt a little bad about the sheer volume of stuff I receive for the holiday, despite the fact that I’m getting into my adult years. A 20-year old probably shouldn’t get quite as much as I did that year, and it seemed wrong for me to go and show off everything.
This year I had originally planned to keep the once-yearly feature buried, but then I saw Matt’s gift roundup on the X-Entertainment blog, and the fact that he got way more stuff than I did made me think that oh, maybe I’m not quite as spoiled as I thought. Given, I don’t have like a hundred siblings, but the point stands. My parents also had a little extra scratch this year, and besides renovating half the house, they also used it to shower us and themseves in Christmas gifts. And that’s basically why I’m running this feature right now, as late as it my be.
Now that the whole semi-related intro groundwork business is laid out I suppose it’s time we get to the down and dirty of this article here: the goodies. Though I’d like to remind you that while I use the term “good”, I can predict that some will groan at at least a few entries on the list. Oh, also like the X-E rundown, this will be somewhat more abbreviated than lists of years past. These kinds of things don’t really deserve two pages.
Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker : One of my fondest memories of classic Game Boy games is the original Dragon Quest Monsters. I spent weeks worth of time playing that games, and still didn’t even come close to finishing it. It was a hard freakin’ game, what can I say? I skipped the second (and third, apparently) installment of the series, but I figured that when they announced a DS sequel that I’d give it a spin, and it’s nearly exactly how I remember it. The idea of the game is obviously a mix between Pokémon and Dragon Quest, and I really can’t decide what franchise I prefer. Pokémon is 90% strategy-based, while DQM is pretty much an “accept button” masher, but offers a far more obsessive-compulsive breeding system. Though with the default battle option being autobattle, it’s nice to sit back and watch your team just massacre everyone. In any case, while it’s very DQ in the way that it demands a lot of level-grinding, I still love it.
Silent Hill Origins : Quite possibly my most longed-for PSP game ever, Silent Hill Origins is a bit of a mixed bag. I haven’t played too far into it as of yet (I’m saving it for when I finish with DQM), but I really like what I’ve played through. On the positive side, the atmosphere is perfect, being completely creepy and one of the the few horror-based franchises that actually frightens me. The less positive being that every weapon you pick up is breakable. And they break fast. It’s not a huge issue, because punching enemies to death works just fine (it just takes a little longer), and if you’re up against more than one enemy at a time, it doesn’t matter what kind of weapon you’re carrying: you will be murdered. Also, Harry would breathe heavily after running for a while in the original Silent Hill, which was a neat touch, but protagonist-man-whose-name-I’ve- currently-forgotten can actually only run for a while before he needs to breathe out or down an energy drink. I hate realism in games because it’s almost always inconvenient. All in all though, it delivers more than enough to be worth it, and I think I’ll really enjoy it once I sit down and give it more than an hour.
Futurama: Bender’s Big Score : Time has done well to Futurama. It may not be exactly what I was hoping for in a fifth season, but the first of however many of these “movies” they’re making sets a pretty good standard. I’ve watched it twice now, which is a lot, considering that I’ve almost never seen a movie twice in such a short span of time. The plot deals with a lot of time travel, which can cause some pretty perplexing plot holes, but as far as I care, the writing staff did a great job avoiding that kind of stuff and workied it out pretty well. One thing I noticed about Futurama over the course of it’s life is that it went from being just about funny to being funny and really fleshing out the characters and their relationships with each other. Bender’s Big Score continues down that road, albeit maybe not as much as the fourth season did, but there’s a good amount of sincerity along with the humour. The only thing I didn’t like is that they referenced like 95% of the old episodes, which is maybe a little too much. Self-referential humour is good and all, but freshness is good too.
Superbad : I saw a brief bit of this movie shortly after it came to DVD (“Do you know how many foods are shaped like dicks? All the good ones!”), and I knew that I had to own it. I do not regret this decision, but I also disagree with all the hype surrounding it. Maybe I just missed something, but I don’t think it’s quite as holy as the general consensus would like you to think. It’s a great movie, yes. It’s hilarious, no doubt. I just don’t really think it’s going to redefine any genres. Then again, I have yet to break into the second disc, which contains extras that might shine some light on exactly why I should think it’s pure genius. So we’ll leave the final word open for now, but it is totally worth buying.
Killswitch Engage – The End of Heartache : I was introduced to Killswitch Engage back in… 04 maybe? Anyway, they had a song on the Resident Evil: Apocalypse soundtrack, and it was one of the standout tracks on the disc (though most of them are pretty good). I downloaded like two more songs to see more of what they were like, and I was kinda apathetic about it all. Their latest single, “My Curse”, in in Guitar Hero 3, and that’s when I decided to give them another shot. I got The End of Heartache for Christmas, and I’m thinking maybe I should go and pick up their two other CDs. I’m not much of a metal connoisseur, so I can’t really say much about them, but I like Killswitch Engage.
HIM – Venus Doom : Yeah, I’m still listening to HIM. A lot of bands I’ll listen to obsessively for a while and then kind of forget about, but HIM is one of the groups with staying power. Their latest offering is quite good. I’ve only had it on in the background while I play video games, so I haven’t really sat down just to listen to it and absorb it, but I do realy like it. Maybe even a bit more than Dark Light, which I was ever so slightly disappointed with. I guess the reason is that I was drawn into the Dark Light hype, so maybe I was expeting too much, I don’t know. In contrast, I didn’t even know about Venus Doom until like a week before Christmas, so I was just excited that there was a new HIM CD.
Dethklok – The Dethalbum : Honestly, what haven’t I said about The Dethalbum already? I downloaded it the day before it was released, and I’ve listened to it probably about 50 times. Now, I own it. The Tall One had to venture to a mall on the other end of the city to find the stupid thing, but it was a trek well worth it. We’re both huge Metalocalypse fans, so either of us probably would have gone even farther to procure it. I’m just slightly disappointed that there weren’t any copies of the special edition available. The bonus disc is short, but the songs on it are totally worth however much extra money they charge for it. Conclusion: wicked CD.
Beetlejuice : I’ve seen this movie on TV so goddamned many times that I really don’t need to own it, but it’s a great addition to my collection anyway. Why wouldn’t you want to watch Beetlejuice? I wouldn’t buy the cartoon series though. It’s one of the few shows I loved in my childhood that I just can’t really get into anymore. Ah well. At least the toys were cool.
Trailer Park Boys Christmas Special : When this first came out maybe two years ago, I skipped it because I figured it would be included on one of the season DVD sets. I was dead wrong. Now I don’t have a Conky finger puppet because I waited, but I guess I’ll find a way to manage without.
Wii Points : Wii Points are a precious resource to me. I can never have enough, and I’m ever so slightly iffed that I only got one card for Christmas. Oh well. The Youngest One decided he would gift me a Virtual Console game as his present, but there was nothing I didn’t already own that I wanted on the service, so he gave me a raincheck. It’s been three weeks since Christmas and I still have that raincheck. Where are all the good VC games?
Nunchuck attachment : “But Ryan,” you say “when did you get a second Wii Remote?” the fact of the matter is that I did not. I just wanted a second nunchuck so that I could have one just to leave in the Zapper. Honestly, I back-and-forth with the thing a lot, and locking in and winding up the nunchuck, then undoing it all when I’m done is a pain in the ass. The annoyance of the process has on more than one occasion stopped me from playing anything at all, so you can see how Goddamned lazy I really am. Actually, I probably should pick up a second Wiimote just to leave in the Les Paul…
Lost season 3 : The thing between me and TV is that I don’t watch things on purpose. I can never remember when shit is on, or what channel it’s on, so when I find a show I like, I generally just go out and buy the DVDs to save myself the trouble. I don’t usually blaze through DVD sets so quickly, but I’ve already watched every episode from this particular season, and have started hacking away at the bonus features disc. I guess I wouldn’t really call myself a Lost junkie, because I’m not completely fanatical about it, but it is without a doubt my favourite show on TV right now. Season 4 is supposed to the be the end, and it makes me sad, but given the way 3 ended, I guess dragging it on any longer would seem forced. So yeah. I thoroughly enjoy Lost.
The Godzilla Collection : I’ll be honest here, I haven’t seen any classic Godzilla movies in their entirety. I’ve tried to watch a couple over the years, but since they were always on TV quite late, and I was much younger then, I always ended up falling asleep. It’s a lore I’ve always been very interested in though. I’ve played a lot of the Godzilla-based video games, and read up plenty on the subject on the ol’ Wikipedia. When I saw this box, my eyes bugged out and I knew that it had to be mine. And now it is. I still haven’t set aside time to crack it open yet, because I want to marathon it, but I fully intend to sometime within the next week or two. It contains seven movies: the original, and the six Showa series films. I know somewhere out there there’s a box of the Heisei series films, but I just haven’t found it yet. When I do though…
The Doors : This was kind of an odd one. My mom was looking for things for The Tall One, and she pointed this out. I surmised that he probably didn’t listen to the Doors, but that I did, though not really showing much interest. Christmas morning: BAM! You know what? Maybe it’s not something I would pursue under my own power, but it sounds like an interesting movie. I’m pretty sure it’ll be awesome. Because I think the Doors are pretty awesome. Now all I have to do is put aside some spare time in which to watch it. Maybe I’ll do that once I’m done with this stupid article.
Jerry Seinfeld Live on Broadway : It’s Seinfeld. It was a stocking stuffer. Again, not something I would really even give a second look, but ends up being right up my alley. Again, haven’t watched it yet, but fully intend to. If the standup bits on the show were representative of what his real acts are like, then I’m assuming that this will have me busting a gut, so to speak.
Trauma Center: New Blood : You know what’s pretty cool? The Wii Zapper works quite nicely with the Trauma Center games. Never would have thought so, would you? Okay, it hasn’t made a huge difference, but the little bit of extra steadiness helps. In any case, I only started this one up last night. I’m not quite sure if I ever finished the first one, but that’s besides the point. So far, the game is… well, exactly the same. The production values have gone up considerably, though I think the new TV does have a small role to play there. The fact that the entire game is voice-acted is great, because the VAs do a terrific job for the most part. It may not be anything particularly fresh, but hey, Trauma Center is wicked fun.
Whiskey : In the toe of my stocking, rather than finding the traditional orange (which, coincidentally, I’ve never gotten in my stocking), there was a small bottle of Crown Royal. Also, a shot glass with a Santa face on it. Huzzah. Both remain unopened because, quite frankly, I very rarely find myself in a situation where I require alcohol. Mostly because I spend my Friday/Saturday nights alone in my room. I’m not complaining, I’m just sayin’.
Sudoku TV : I’ll admit it, I’m hooked on Sudoku. I blame Brain Age entirely for this. So anyhow, I saw this gizmo at Wal-Mart one night while Christmas shopping with the “fam”, and decided to pick it up because I thought it would be good for a review at the very least. My mom said she’d buy it and told me to act surprised. So on Christmas morning I was treated to a huge box full of plug-n-play Sudoku. And you know what? It’s crap. I mean, it didn’t promise anything that it doens’t deliver, but the buttons are crappy and insensitive, the controls for playing Sudoku on the TV is completely asinine, and the little LCD screen just doesn’t suit the game very well. And I’m not even going to get into the other games that are packed into it. Ugh. It’s usable, but just barely. I will have to go in-depth with it though. It’s just that hilariously bad.
Gift Card Mania!!! : Every year I see more of these little things and it’s like: why don’t you just give me money? They’re not even all in the picture. I mean, I guess the only one I’d be unlikely to use is the one for Blockbuster, because I almost never rent anything, but still. And what’s with the two movie passes? Are you trying to say something? Are you that unsatisfied with me being single? I won five bucks on the Set For Life ticket though. Which is good becaue now I can go get another one, but bad because I know how addicting lottery tickets can be. I already spend way too much money, I don’t need those dumb things nickel-and-diming my bank account down even more.
And that about wraps that up. There are some other assorted thingers that I neglected to mention, mostly clothes and stocking stuffers, but those aren’t interesting in the least. That’s not to say that anything pictured is, but I’m not too concerned about showing the world a new pair of jeans or a pack of gum, you know? Yeah, so that’s the end then. I’m not sure exatly how to cut this off properly. I guess a clean break after the gift card paragraph would have been the best way to do it, but I’ve committed myself to this paragraph and I’m damn well going to see it through. To the end. Which is now.
I’d trade all the others away
I’ve had a lot of pets in my twenty years. At least six hamsters, a ridiculous amount of fish, a frog, and even a bird. But I never really cared about them. They came and went with little to no impact on my life, except maybe that I learned that I disliked responsibility. A couple years ago, we finally got a dog. He was a great dog, and I spent a lot of time with him. Sadly, only months after we get him, the vet discovered that the animal shelter had classified him as a basenji when really he was a pit bull, and seeing as pit bulls aren’t allowed in the city, we had to give him up. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever faced, but it was okay, because I knew he was just going to live somewhere outside the city. Soon after, we were lucky enough to get two more dogs, and life was good.
The last few days have been Hell for me and my family. It’s been all uncertainty and pain. Finally, today I had to say goodbye to one of those dogs. On Wednesday afternoon, I came home to find him far less chipper than usual. Slowly it became more evident to us that something was wrong, as he could barely walk, and couldn’t even get up or down the stairs. By the next night, the poor thing couldn’t move his hind legs, and he coudldn’t even wag his tail. My dad took him to the vet Friday morning and they told us that a couple of the discs in his spine had ruptured, and things weren’t looking good. We gave it a couple days to see if there would be any improvement, but my horible luck was working overtime this weekend, and it just got worse.
We all went down the the animal clinic this evening, and I can say without a doubt that this was the worst day of my life. Just seeing my little puppy there, quivering and helpless, I felt more pain and sadness than I’ve ever known. The worst part about it is that there was absolutely nothing anyone could do. Treatment had clearly failed, and surgery would only delay the inevitable for a short while. The little guy had no chance. All anyone could do for him is put him to sleep so that he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.
I think that it goes without saying that I’m not taking this well. I’ve never had to deal with real loss my whole life, though you might say that an animal isn’t a real loss. But Harley wasn’t just an animal. He was one of my best friends. He was my confidant. He was family. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act. My emotions are all so conflicted that I just want to go to sleep and not wake up so that I don’t have to deal with it any more. I don’t care about many things, but I cared about my dog. I loved him, and I’m gonna miss him for a long time to come.
Are you heartless?
Band of the Month time, yo. But I think an image of an album cover is enough to trigger the synapse that tells you that you don’t care to read this blog post. Fuck you.
Anyway, this month’s band is a relatively small-time group called The Main Event. I found ’em on MySpace (actually, they found me… spooky), and I’ve gotta say that they’re a pretty good act. I got a message from them a while back asking to vote for them on the Ernie Ball/Music Man Battle of the Bands. Why? So they could win a spot on the 2007 Taste of Chaos tour. As it stands, there’s a slim chance I might actually make it to Taste of Chaos this year, so that’s cool. I doubt they’re ahead (hell if I’m going to check), but I’m asking you to go vote for them too. I rather like them, and it would kick major ass to see them live.
Anyway, I also purchased their CD. It’s only six songs, which is really disappointing. And they’re not long either, so it’s not like Deep Purple or Dream Theater where they make up for few songs with long songs. The good thing is that it’s really good, and I heartily recommend it. It’s six dollars, so what have you got to lose? If you’ve got a Paypal account with six bucks, pop over to their MySpace page and click the “buy now” button. You can also listen to four sixths of the album on that page, so it’s all up to you. Just for reference though, the two songs that aren’t on their MySpace page are two of the best ones. Frankly, I think “Heartless” rocks all over the place, but “Neverland” and “Burning Inside” are each as good as their three other songs combined.
In summary, I like The Main Event. Best band I’ve found through MySpace to date (though that’s not to say that there weren’t any other spectacular ones). Big recommendation for them, and I can only hope their next CD is as good as Built From Scratch, possibly a little longer too. 23 minutes is just a little too short.
In other news… I dunno. Sketchbook… Tuesdays? Oops… Bruce Campbell in a sweet Old Spice commercial… It’s rerun week on Ugly Hill. With commentary!… Reason to get a 360? Oh yes… Yay new Wario!…
Put on your red shoes and dance
Okay. So my “10 best of 06” article is done. It saw a lot of drafting, but it’s done. I’ll warn you now though, that I can guaranteee that you’re not going to like some things you see there. And I’m not talking about game choice. Before you start, remember that I’m the guy who pretty much just shovels money into the furnace. You’ll be less surprised that way, but no less annoyed.
Top Ten: Greatest Games of 2006
Really, I don’t know what to write as an intro. I’ve done this twice before, so go back and read those intros if you really need a preface. Just a couple notes before we begin:
1. I broke down. While I was compiling my list, I kind of forgot that I wasn’t supposed to have ports on it, but they were there, and I just love the included games so much that I couldn’t boot them. Oh well.
2.There are three special awards mixed in between the regular list, just so you don’t get confused. I was going to have them all before the actual list, but that’s so dumb. My way is spicier!
3. I think the 10th-4th place trophies are hilarious. If you don’t agree, I am terminating our friendship right now.
Well, that should be all. So let’s get it on!
2006’s “Special Mention” goes without a doubt to Final Fantasy XII. Because there were so many other games that I had planned on purchasing (and when I set my mind to something, I never go back), I never got around to playing FFXII. It just came out at a really bad time. Had it been released in the summer lull, I would have definitely picked it up right away. Sadly, Square-Enix didn’t have it ready until November, and that month was just so chock-full of games that were higher on the priority list that it got passed by.
The reason I put it here is because I do have a genuine interest in it. It’s the first Final Fantasy since IX that I’ve cared at all about (and even that was only because at that time I was still a Squaresoft sheep), and I really do hope to get around to playing it someday. The way the game plays, with it’s neat little character programming system interests me to no ends, and even the story, which I usually have zero interest in, fascinates me. And let’s not forget that so many reviewers are saying that it’s the best FF to grace a console since God-knows-when. And that’s a pretty strong point, because let’s face it, most of the gaming world thinks FFVII is good.
So in conclusion, I declare Final Fantasy XII to be the best game I never played last year. However much sense that makes.
Past grievances aside, I really enjoyed New Super Mario Bros. Like everyone else on the damn planet, I flew through it pretty quickly because it was real easy, but it was impressively fun. I even played through it a second time right away. Of course, while getting to the end of the game presented little more than a suggestion of difficulty, clearing the game 100% did require a bit of skill. The big coins, finding all the extra paths and warp cannons, that kind of stuff. It wasn’t as tricky as some of SMW’s rough bits, but all the extras really helped to flesh out the game. The new power-ups were pretty unnecessary too. Unless they were needed for getting somewhere, I much preferred good ol’ Firey Mario. Why did they axe fireballs in the 3D games? Firey Mario would have been so much totally better than FLUDD. Maybe.
I don’t know. NSMB was such a big deal that everyone and their mom wrote about it, and everyone’s read something about it too. I doubt I could add anything original at this point. I guess if there’s anything that really stuck out for me, it was the final boss fight. It wasn’t terribly difficult or long, but it was pretty epic. For a Mario game. Hey! You know what would have been great? If there had been some Yoshi. Yeah. Especially if he had all his Koopa shell powers like in SMW. And there should have been a Top Secret Zone where you could go after every level to gather power-ups. Sigh. It’s going to be quite a feat if Nintendo ever expects to outdo Super Mario World. That’s pretty much the definition of a perfect platformer. But New Super Mario Bros was easily good enough. Just barely good enough to beat out Rayman Raving Rabbids out of the #10 spot, but good enough no less.
So the game then? Well, it’s neat. The premise is that you’re a doctor (by the name of Derek Stiles) who just completed his whatevers and is getting into the real world of surgery. It starts off like any old medical drama you’d see on TV, with the new guy being uneasy and having to overcome personal obstacles and crap, and then bio-terrorism enters the picture and everything goes to shit. It’s an incredibly story-heavy game, to say the least. Some chapters don’t even contain an operation and are just really long dialogues sequences. Fortunately, it’s all skippable for those who couldn’t give two shits an’ just want to cut people open and toy with their insides. Which is awesome. The game starts you off with easy things, like suturing up cuts, removing shards of glass, and lazering the crap out of polyps. It slowly ramps up to tougher things like excising bigger tumors and removing thrombi. Less than halfway through, though, the video game part starts to come into play and you have to start removing various types of (fictional) parasites (known as GUILT), which can be real pains in the ass. Unlike the original game, however, there is a difficulty option, so getting to the end of this one isn’t such an impossible feat; you can just choose to play on easy mode!
The operations in the side-story abandon the GUILT for more traditional surgery. Though the game throws in a few new things and some curveballs like fixing broken bones, excising super tumors (which grow right back if you don’t get them all out within seconds of each other), and working in the dark with only a camera’s flash to help you see. The extra story, while much more brief than the main one, is also pretty interesting, though it’s even more obvious that it was thought up by those crazy Japanese.
All in all, even though it’s essentially a beefed-up port, Trauma Center: Second Opinion is very much its own game. While playing with the Wii Remote is slightly less accurate than the DS’ touch screen, the control scheme is very intuitive and great for switching tools fast. It’s still as challenging as the original though, so don’t expect any pulled punches, even on the easy difficulty level. While it’s no epic adventure, I still think TC:SO is a spectacular launch title for the Wii, and were it not a port, I may have even put it up closer to the top spot on the list. As it is though, number nine will have to suffice.
So Elite Beat Agents, huh? Surely you’ve heard of the import hit Osu! Tatake! Ouendan!. Surely. I never bothered to import it (I got Jump Superstars instead), but when I heard they were making a version (sequel?) for North America, I was ready to jump all over it. And jump I did. EBA is a rhythm game, much like DDR or Guitar Hero, only instead of some cockadoodie $50 peripheral device that only works with one game, you just use the touch screen. As the music goes, beats appear on the screen. Most of the time, you just tap them with the correct timing to get by. But sometimes, you have to drag a ball across a path which spices things up a little. Well, maybe not. There’s also a spinner that you’ve gotta, well, spin. That one only shows up on the rarest of occasions though. All this happens while zany situations play out in the background, as the idea of the game is that the Elite Beat Agents motivate people through song to help get them through tough times. Well, there’s actually one scenario that’s quite sad rather than zany, and ashamed as I am to admit it, it had me weeping like a little girl. Seriously. If you can play the “You’re The Inspiration” level without shedding at least one tear, you’re made of stone, man. Fucking stone.
Like many of those other rhythm games out there, Elite Beat Agents out there is hellishly difficult. Which is odd because Nintendo stuck it in with the “Touch Generations” games, which are supposedly accessible to everyone. I guess most people could get by okay on Breezin’ (easy mode), up until the last song, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” (a snazzy fast version too), which is like 50 times harder than all the other songs. And while I’m on the song note, the soundtrack is definitely there not for any single niche, but rather a hodegpodge of crap from all over. On the awesome hand, you’ve got kickass bands (well, covers of kickass bands) like Deep Purple (“Highway Star” FTW) and The Stray Cats, but then you’ve also gotta suffer through dreck like Cher and Goddamned “YMCA”. I mean, personally, I don’t mind too much, but I know that’s more than enough to turn off some people. And that’s sad, because EBA is a frickin’ awesome game. My only complaint is that they cut like a minute off of Hoobastank’s “Without A Fight”, wich is a stellar song.
If you’re looking for a distraction, maybe go play Magical Starsign or something. If you pick up Elite Beat Agents, you’ll likely get sucked in and lose hours upon hours trying to beat “Canned Heat”, assuming you’re as bad at this game as I am. But yes, this is a sweet game. I really shouldn’t have to say that, what with it being eighth on my list of the ten best games that came out last year and all.
MegaMan Battle Network 6 is not here because it’s a great game. It’s not ground-breaking, it doesn’t deliver a compelling story, even the gameplay is pretty much unchanged from the first game in the series. What does make it special is that it’s the only MMBN game that’s really been worth playing since 2. And I mean that quite literally. I got into the series at 2, and I loved the game to death. I explored every nook and cranny of it, and I got everything there was to get. 3 was okay, and while I did finish it 100%, my whole heart wasn’t in it. 4 flat-out sucked, and 5 was mediocre at best. Needless to say, I didn’t come anywhere close to finishing those two. Then 6 came along, and I felt the same spark I did for 2. And I played the snap out of it.
So what makes it better than the abysmal 4 and 5? I’m not too sure. It’s basically just the same thing over again. Look at any MegaMan series, and that’s the way it is. But there are a few little tweaks that propel it above the rest. Capcom changed the power-up system just enough so that it made the game fun, and not a hassle. In the two previous chapters, your battle power-ups (Soul Unison) would only last three turns, and they were kind of useless. There were also these horrid “dark chips” that completely broke the game unless you ignored them completely. In 6, the power-ups (Cross Change) are now virtually unlimited, and most of the Crosses are useful and/or fun to use. The dark chips have pretty much been tossed away altogether as well.
Maybe it doesn’t make sense to you as an outsider, and it isn’t entirely clear to me either, but MegaMan Battle Network 6 is somehow a much better game than the last few in the series. Best of all, it’s the last game in the series, so you don’t have to hear any more about it, and I don’t have to worry about it going down the shitter again. Definitely the most improvement in a sequel I’ve seen in a while.
The game is actually pretty far removed from MegaMan though. It’s MegaMan only in name, really. I mean, there are a few references to past MegaMan storylines, but aside from that, you could essentially put a different name on it and nobody would know. But it is MegaMan, and with that comes the promise of top-notch side-scrolling action. Like I said, it plays like the Zero series, so it’s fast and rather intense. The difficulty level has been toned down a bit, but most of the bosses and certain parts of the game will still give you a good run for your money. Adding to the greatness of it all, it plays like a Metroidvania title, in that the game is one big world for you to explore, rather than being cut up into levels. Of course, you can only access certain areas once you’ve got the right items, but unlike Metroid and Castlevania, those end up being more on the end of card keys rather than power-ups.
When you do get power-ups, they take form as different suits of armor for your character to wear. The game revolves around Biometals, which are basically rocks which hold the essence of various MegaMan characters. Once you gain a certain Biometal, you can use it and gain the powers of whichever robot it represents. Such powers include increased dash abilities, hovering, better water mobility, and being able to break select few walls. Half of them are pretty useless for regular combat, but there’s a secret Biometal you can earn which kicks complete and total ass. Still, playing the entire game as only the default MegaMan should be more than enough to please fans. The extra powers are just kind of for fun and finding secret stuff.
One of the coolest things about the game is that bosses regenerate themselves, so you can go back and fight any of them whenever you feel, without having to start a new game. You can even insert MegaMan Zero 3 and 4 into the GBA slot to pick fights with a few bosses from each of those games. I don’t really know what else to write about. The game is all about action, and dueling the multitude of boss robots is about as awesome as it gets. For anyone who thinks the MegaMan name should have died long ago, MegaMan ZX makes all those years of crappy X and Battle Network sequels totally worth it.
I won’t dance around the fence here, there aren’t any on-rails flying levels in StarFox Command. It’s all all-range enemy hunts. And those are the butter to the game’s bread of strategic map-conquering. Sounds awfully sketchy, I know. That’s exactly what I thought. But, because I just can’t say no to StarFox, I picked up the game anyway. It couldn’t be any worse than StarFox Adventures, anyway. Long story short, the game is awesome and I feel awful for ever doubting it. The franchise has had some rough times, but if Command is any indication of where it’s going, then the outlook is pretty damn good.
So what’s this strategy business I mentioned? Simply put, each mission takes place on a map of whatever planet/area of space you may be currently flying around. The aim is either to destroy all the enemy fighters while defending the Great Fox from attack. Sounds simple, and it really is. But things get tricky once stuff like missiles and fog of war get involved. Yeah, that’s right. Fog of War. In StarFox. it’s weird, I know, but it works. Keeps things interesting, and you on your toes. So encountering an enemy or an enemy base on the map will initiate a dogfight, where your objective is to destroy all the listed bogeys within the time limit. Yep, there’s a time limit too, but trust me when I say all the game mechanics work perfectly well together. And speaking of which, the whole game is played with the touch screen. All the buttons on the DS do are fire your blasters, except the start button, which does the usual pause. Barrel rolls, loops, bombs, it’s all touch-activated. And it’s all good.
The only complaint I have with the game is actually with the series as a whole. I hate that the fact that they continually age the characters. At this rate, two games from now, Fox McCloud won’t even be in the games anymore. That or he’ll be an old fogey handing out advice, rather than blasting space monsters and whatnot. But aside from that little complaint, the game is stellar. Tons of story paths to choose from (though the story[ies?] isn’t particularly strong), great strategy and action gameplay, and good local multiplayer (sadly, WiFi multi is kind of disappointing). This isn’t the highest-ranked DS game on the list, but it’s probably the one I’d recommend the most. I just love it to death.
For everything Dawn of Sorrow did right, Portrait of Ruin comes and does it even better. Mostly. I mean, the games play essentially the same, but Portrait of Ruin is so much more refined, with so much more to it. Firstly, you get to play with two characters, Jonathan Morris and Charlotte Auldin, at the same time in PoR, which turns out really well. You have the choice to either just swap out between the two, or have the non-player character follow you around and help you out (using your MP bar as a life gauge). Either way you choose to do it, the system is great, and allows for a lot of choice in how to get around different enemies. Dawn’s Tactical Soul system is gone, replaced by subweapons and spells for Jonathan and Charlotte, respectively. While the Tactical Soul system was really great for customization purposes, I really like just having the basic subweapon/magic instead. Also, only some of your subweapons/spells are held by enemies, basically meaning you don’t have to grind every enemy in the game to have access to your full arsenal. That, and the Shuriken subweapon is insanely cheap once it’s mastered.
The castle is scaled down a bit on PoR, but that’s because there are nine other maps to explore! While the bulk of there are pretty small, it’s still the biggest Castlevania yet, as far as raw acreage goes. Sadly, the second set of four “levels” just feel like remapped copies of the first set with harder enemies. The castle itself is as great as ever though, and the ninth (optional) level is a very sweet colosseum-esque stage with some horrifically challenging battles inside. And speaking of horrifically difficult things, the bosses in PoR are crazy hard. The bulk of them will slaughter you pretty quickly on the normal difficulty. Needless to say, I’m a bit afraid to start a hard game. The final boss battle isn’t quite as rough as some of those leading up to it, but it’s quite a spectacular fight. Seriously. Fuck you, I’m spoiling it. You have to fight Dracula and Death. At the same time. And then they fuse. It’s awesome. If you look up the word “Awesome” in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of PoR’s final boss fight.
And speaking of awesome stuff, there’s a ton to accomplish in Portrait of Ruin. Firstly, you’ve got the main game with it’s hugely long main quest, plus all the fun of fleshing out complete maps, completing all the quests, getting (and mastering) all the subweapons and spells, getting all the enemy drops and filling out the item collection. That alone took me over 25 hours. Then you unlock a whole whackload of shit. Not only one, but three bonus game modes, plus a hard mode for all four games. Then there are three Boss Rush mini-games to play (because there are just that many bosses in PoR). To top it all off, there’s a nice little WiFi option in which you can either buy/sell items from/to other players, or join up with someone else to play a co-op Boss Rush. The co-op mode doesn’t offer much of a challenge, really, but competing for top times is always fun, and the Shop Mode is decent if you have a bunch of rare drops and need to make a little extra coin.
Holy smokes. This is going to be like the longest article ever. By me. In any case, Castlevania rules. If you still haven’t waded into the series, I would highly recommend now to do it. It’s really not going to get much better than this. Konami’s set a very high standard for themselves, and the only way to really improve upon Protrait of Ruin would be some more diverse level design, and to go back to artwork that doesn’t look like it came out of a crappy Saturday morning anime. Seriously. Dracula looks like crap in this one. Normally he looks awesome and evil, but here he just looks like Uninspired Anime Villain #43. Don’t even get me started on Death. Eeeeeewww. Fuck, Konami. We know you have talented artists. Why did you not use them?
It’s true. I’ve been hiding a horrible, horrible secret from everyone: I broke down a bought a PSP a while ago. Under most circumstances, I’d feel pretty bad about it, but MegaMan Maverick Hunter X is just so damn awesome that I don’t care. It was worth every penny to be able to play this remake of one of my favourite games ever. As I’ve stated many times before, I’m quite a MegaMan fanboy. It’s a tough lot in life, but it’s the road I chose. And this road has led me to play nearly every MegaMan game in existence; some good, some bad, some utterly repulsive. But through it all, one thing has remained constant: my love for the original MegaMan X. I don’t know why I love it so, but that’s the way it is, and I doubt it’s ever going to change.
Maverick Hunter X is a full overhaul of MegaMan X, much like how Capcom redid Resident Evil for the GameCube. It keeps everything that made the original X great, and makes it better: the superb music, the harrowing storyline, the highway stage. Everything. Sure, they moved most of the power-ups around to throw off vets, but that’s quite alright. Incentive to fully explore the stages again is a good thing. Most of the stages do retain their original layout, but the Sigma palace levels are all completely mixed up, with some bits moved around, and some entirely new parts. It’s great. Even the transition to 3D graphics worked marvelously, beautifying the levels, and making some of the bosses look more like the animals they were modeled after (Spark Mandrill, anyone?).
Best part of the game? Hard to say. Firstly, they’ve included a 30-minute movie detailing to origin of the original Maverick outbreak, which is an absolutely awesome bonus feature. Second, you get a Hard difficulty level to play on once you’ve slaughtered the game completely, and hard it is. Bosses get new attacks, you get less life, all that good stuff. Third, Vile is a playable character! Once you’ve finished the game once with X, you can play through as Vile, who plays completely differently than X and adds a whole new layer of strategy to the game. And Vile’s game is nail-bitingly tough on the normal difficulty to boot. Hard mode with Vile is nigh impossible.
So in conclusion, this game is more than enough to warrant the purchase of a PSP for me, no matter how outrageously expensive it was. As such, MegaMan Maverick Hunter X gets the award for Best Port. Quite frankly, I wanted to place this game at Number 5 on the list, and while it does contain a gigantic deal of new and altered content, I just couldn’t bear myself to put two ports on the list. So why did Trauma Center make it? Because quite frankly, all new content aside, the core gameplay in MHX doesn’t change much at all, while Trauma Center’s is radically different from that of the original game. Still, I give Maverick Hunter X a great big recommendation, because it’s a really, really sweet game.
Ever since Clover Studios (now defunct) opened their website, which had a preview page for Okami, I’d been following the game from a distance. It wasn’t something I was anxious about, but it was on my radar. Then September came around and poof! there it was, and it was getting spectacular reviews. The good reviews coupled with Clover’s high standing in my mind and the beautiful art style were more than enough reason to rush out to the store and pick it up. And pick it up I did. Okami was more than I ever expected it to be. I was thinking it would be some sort of run-of-the-mill 3D adventure starring an animal, but it turns out it’s essentially Zelda for PS2. Seriously. At first, I was kind of on the fence about how much it resembled Zelda, but then I got to the first dungeon and I couldn’t help shaking the feeling that I was retreading the Forbidden Woods level from The Wind Waker, only as a wolf. There’s even a postman who, aside from attire, I would swear is the same as the one from Ocarina Of Time.
So what makes Okami original? Well, for one, you play as a wolf. Oh, right. Twilight Princess. To tell the truth though, now that I’ve played both, I can confidently say that I much prefer the wolf play in Okami. It just feels so much more natural. There’s also the fact that half the game is based around drawing stuff. Yep. Your special power as a God-in-wolf’s-clothing is to be able to paint stuff to make things happen. Over the course to the game you’ll learn many different brush techniques, letting you do many things ranging from slicing trees to making wind blow to creating bombs out of thin air. It’s awesome and works incredibly well, no matter how odd it sounds. Even though the game pauses for you to draw, it doesn’t really mess up the pacing of the game. It’s really not that fast-paced a game anyway, aside from battles. And those are pretty nuts. The boss enemies in particular are really impressive and require some tricky brush maneuvers to defeat. It’s also worth mentioning that they’re much more difficult than any of Twilight Princess’ bosses, no matter how gargantuan those may be.
One of the neat points of Okami is the focus of the game. I’m not a big fan of nature, but since this game is influenced so much by Japanese history and lore, most of the game revolves around saving nature and using your powers to help people and restore their faith in the Gods. Leveling up is actually done not by battling, but by gaining faith by helping people, animals, and plants. It’s a very refreshing change from the usual game that takes itself too seriously and focuses on saving the world from utter destruction. Playing Okami is like taking a beautiful, relaxing vacation from normal video games, in the same way The Wind Waker was from other Zeldas. It’s just so pretty and stylish that you could just roam about and enjoy watching the scenery go by.
There’s much more to be mentioned, but there’s a better way than listening to me ramble about it: go out and buy the game. Trust me on this one. It’s fantastic. Fifty dollars is a bargain for such a fine piece of art. The only thing that really makes me wonder is why this wasn’t a DS project. I mean, it’s all about drawing after all. And Tony Hawk proved last year that cel-shading looks pretty good on the little handheld that could. Even a sequel (on either platform) would be fantastic, but I doubt that we’re going to see one, what with Clover being broken up and all. Worst decision ever, Capcom. And you’ve make some pretty big fuck-ups. Anyway, I know you own a PS2, everyone does. Go out and buy Okami. You’ll be doing yourself a huge favour.
First off, we’ve obviously got ourselves a new soundtrack. It’s quite a bit longer than the original too. Boasting 17 more songs than the first game, Guitar Hero 2 comes full of bands that I love (though the regular songs are all covers) like Cheap Trick, KISS, The Stray Cats, and Rush. Fucking RUSH. That alone is enough to boot the game up to the top of the list. Anything that features Rush must be good. It’s science. Some other bands/artists that I’m happy to see include The Police, Dick Dale, and (the return of) Megadeth. GH2 is also a helluva lot harder than its predecessor. I’m not saying Guitar Hero was easy, but some of the songs on this one seem like they were put in there just to break even the most confident players. You ever heard All That Remains’ “Six”? Or how about Buckethead’s “Jordan”? Incidentally, while “Freebird” is the final song, it’s not nearly as bad as it might seem by ear. I’ve actually gotten rather good at it. “Thunderhorse” on the other hand, continues to wipe the floor with my sorry ass.
On the gameplay side of things, it’s exactly the same. hammer-ons and pull-offs were changed just a leetle bit to make life easier, assuming you’ve the ability to put the techniques to use. I’m learning slowly, and surprisingly enough they’re actually helping a bit, and making my game all that more impressive to passers-by. There are a couple new characters to choose from, including the frightening and poorly proportioned Lars Umlaut. All the default characters also have a second costume that you can unlock. Also, the range of guitars you can buy and use has increased exponentially, and there are plenty of different finishes for each style to boot. There are even secret guitars that can be unlocked by beating and five-starring each song on each difficulty level. Obviously, the best ones are the hardest to unlock. Finally, the unlockable songs (some mentioned above) are mostly better than the last game’s offering. A lot of awesome bands return, including Freezepop (<3 Freezepop), Drist, and the Acro-Brats. Made In Mexico still sucks though. And then there’s great new bands like The Last Vegas, Bang Camaro, and That Handsome Devil. On a related note, I’ve actually seen Every Time I Die in concert, which is kind of neat.
The new training mode, I assume, is rather useful. I’ve used it very little, but it has helped me improve a few rough spots and pass a couple songs on the expert difficulty. I might get really good at the game if I were to make better use of it, but as it is, I prefer just to play a song over and over to learn the ins and outs, even though practicing parts of a song at slower speeds sounds like a much more practical way to do it. Multiplayer is vastly improved, with better competitive options, and a spankin’ cooperative mode. Add the fact that on co-op you each play a different guitar part (lead, rhythm, bass), and you’ve got some wicked shredding going down.
If you’ll recall, I named Tales of Symphonia the best game I’d played in 2004. And Abyss doesn’t fall far from that tree. But wait, there were two Tales games released this year, and Tales of Legendia isn’t even on the list! So what gives? Quite frankly, for all the things I liked about Legendia, I could just never get into it. I found the characters lovable, the story great, and the battle system fun, but literally I had to force myself to put the game disc in and muscle through it after the first half of the game. I don’t know what it was, but somewhere the attraction waned. Fortunately, Tales of the Abyss came along a short few month later to make everything better. It might even hold a higher place in my heard than Symphonia, if it weren’t for Symphonia’s exquisite character design and writing.
If you want a basic review of Tales of the Abyss, go find the Tales of Symphonia review on the September 2004 page in the blog archive. All the great things about that game translate directly onto this one, with only a handful of real changes. Obviously, the story and characters are different, but the overall feel of the game is essentially the same. The soundtrack is (mostly) once again by genius Motoi Sakuraba, which means it’s good enough to purchase twice. The battle system is almost exactly the same as that in Symphonia, the only real differences being that you can run around freely (after acquiring a certain skill), and a slightly altered magic system. Really, if you’ve played any previous Tales game, you should have a good idea what to expect: RPG battles that play out almost like Super Smash Bros.
One of the big changes are the various stat/ability-altering systems. Capacity Cores will add to your stat increases during level-ups, allowing you to super-power your characters in whatever field(s) you have a Capacity Core for. Fon Slot Chambers allow you to attach an FSC to each of your spells/skills to add different effects, depending on the skill and FSC colour. For example, a red FSC on most skills will increase attack/healing power, while a green FSC will usually decrease TP consumption. Lastly, we’ve got Additional Skills. Your characters will all gain AD skills when they reach certain levels or increase a stat to a certain number. Some are pretty basic, like moving faster in battle, while others have awesome effects like being able to use Over Limit attacks and avoid status effects. All three systems add a far deeper level of character customization than even Symphonia did with its wacky Exsphere business.
Tales of the Abyss doesn’t stray much from the Tales mold (except for they’ve been cutting out the Summon Spirits completely lately…), and that’s exactly why I think of it as lovingly as I do. Namco has a real winning formula here, if only the general populace would free themselves from the shackles of Final Fantasy and realize that there are fun RPGs out there, the world would be a happier place for all. Again, it’s science.
Yeah I’m leaving it at that. Sometimes the point is best made with few words. In any case, I know this list might be a little harder for some to agree with than previous lists, in which I ahd a slightly higher percentage of popular games, but meh. These are the kinds of things I like to play. If you don’t like it, go back to whatever overhyped garbage you think is good. Also, blow it out your ass.
I’m never gonna set you free
Something Awful posted a hilarious article yesterday about leaked details from Silent Hill 5. Being as big a Silent Hill fan as I am, I found it to be incredibly entertaining. Even if you’ve never played a Silent Hill game, you’ll probably enjoy it anyway out of sheer ridiculousness.
A new article from me (it’s been how long??) is coming soon. I just have to get some images finished up and we’re golden. Possibly also some post-Christmas spiels.
Wired’s Best Games of 2006 – I’m completely at ease with this list. Probably because it’s mostly games I actually play. Also, I’m friendly to anyone who shows love for Okami. And Servbots.
I don’t condone, however, Wii Sims. Yeah, it’ll sell millions in Japan, but I wonder how it’ll do over on North American shores. I guess it’s mainly women and non-gamers who play The Sims anyway though, so I guess it could probably go either way. I personally don’t like it though. How weird would it be to see those little Sims making out, hut-tubbing in the nude, or using the heart-shaped bed?