Zelda – Page 17

Back to good

I probably won’t have an article up this week. I’ve been doing a lot of gaming and being out these past nights (which has been a nice change from the sitting in front of the PC all night I had been doing for the past few weeks), and I’ve finally fully recovered from that horrible bout with emotion I was having. It’s nice to have the old me back. Now on to why I’m making this post. I have three very important orders of business.

1. NEW ZELDA TRAILER! Here’s the link. Prepare your drool buckets, nerds, this is the greatest thing ever.

2. MUSASHI! Yep. Only five days until Samurai Legend Musashi comes out. I loved the first one, and from what little info I’ve gleaned from the site, the sequel looks to be kick ass. I know I usually don’t have many words of praise for samurai, but Brave Fencer Musashi is my second favorite Playstation game ever. The first being Final Fantasy Tactics.

3. BROKEN! It seems that old Edwin’s site is brokies at the moment. Oh, wait. Stroat. Stroat’s site. I wasn’t orginally gonna say anything, but he figures maybe some people visit both here and there. It’s possible.

I really want to write more, but I’ve got nothing. I guess it’s back to listening to Beck for me. Alt-rock is sweet.

Tiny-huge Hyrule

Firstly, I want you to read this review. It pretty much gets my point across. When you’re done with that, then you can move onto the rest of my stuff. It kinda fits together. You’ll see.

So, RE4 is Zelda good. Yep. But how good is Zelda? Duh. That’s a no-brainer. But for the sake of completeness and having proof, it’s time I reviewed the newest entry into the Legend of Zelda series. That’s right, it’s about time I shared my thoughts about The Legend of Zelda: the Minish Cap.

To start, the game is flawless. That means it has not even a single flaw. Some minor annoyances, but nothing big enough to be considered a flaw. Many people will disagree with what I’m saying, what with so many people focused so much on how many dungeons a game has, or how many hours it takes to finish. These people are dumb. These people are asses. these people are dumbasses. I’ll not lie, the Minish Cap has “only” six dungeons. This is not far off from the last two games; Majora’s Mask and the Wind Waker. The one thing that most people do not realize is that while the main quest may be “short”, there are more bonus kajiggers to find and questdoodles to complete than you could shake any type of long object at, be it a stick, a hockey stick, or a cardboard tube. But that is not my point, my point is that while the main adventure is (again with the quotation marks) “short”, the game is a simply amazing video game experience.

The Minish Cap is without a doubt one of the best GameBoy Advance games out there. You’ll be seeing this one on more than a few “Best games of 2005” lists. The most defining point is the fact that it’s an entirely new adventure. While we’ve seen a couple of new Zelda games in the last few years (the Wind Waker, Four Swords Adventures), Nintendo has been doing a lot of porting. Most of it was promotional material, but that’s not important. Only a new Super Mario Bros game would impress and shock us more. Aside from the story, there is plenty of new stuff in the Minish Cap. For one, Link isn’t really any hero of destiny in this one, he just kind of gets voted into it when he turns out to be the only able person in the room at the time. Heck, the game would star the King of Hyrule or his attendant if it weren’t for a convenient plot point. It’s not a huge point of interest, but it’s a neat little change. Aside from that, not one of the bosses have been seen in a previous game. Wait… One of the bosses was seen in a previous game (and the final boss, but he was… different… in that one, so it doesn’t count). The dungeons are excellently designed, with some puzzles that can leave you scratching your head for quite some time. There are no less than three new tools for Link to acquire, and plenty of other great new additions.

But of course, the game also has it’s share of classic influence. Most notable, it uses the great GB Zelda control scheme of equipping one weapon to the A button and another to the B button. Sadly, a couple of the cool hidden weapon combos from Link’s Awakening are missing, namely the bomb arrows. A lot of the sub-characters come from the range of past Zelda games. Sadly, the old man from the first game is still missing. Plenty of Link’s Awakening’s enemies make their fantastic returns, such as Bob-ombs and those face-plated guys. You know, the ones where you had to remove the armor with the hookshot. Plus, I’m pretty sure that a lot of the sound effects come straight from Link’s Awakening. That’s my favorite Zelda game of all time, for those who didn’t know. A lot of Wind Waker influence is presented in terms of visuals, and the Palace of Winds level will make many people think back to Four Sowrds Adventures, had they played the game. Oh yes, and it also just happens to be a prequel to the established Four Swords storyline. Possibly the best part is that the Ocarina has gone back to it’s original use as transportation and transporation alone. I hated having musical instruments as key items.

So what’s this all about the game being small and such? Well, the first thing you’ll notice is that the map is deceptively tiny. This will throw you off, as the world map is a decent size, though notably smaller than those of past Zelda games. But, while it doesn’t have an entire alternate map, there is plenty of exploration opportuninty, with winding paths everywhere and many spots accessibl only to a tiny Link. The square mileage may be less, but its more crammed with stuff than you might assume. And yes, the dungeon count is six. Four main dungeons, one “red herring” dungeon, and the final castle. They’re certainly large places, and each has it’s own unique ways of tripping you up, be it inconspicuous bombable walls or mine cart mazes.

Is it hard? In a word: maybe. It’s like the every Zelda and Metroid game. If you look for all the optional/hidden power-ups, it’s gonna be a bit easier. If you try to make it through without picking up any heart containers, you’re probably gonna have a hard freaking time. Me, as good as I may be, I get hit a lot. I’m prone to tkaing damage. that’s why I take longer to get accustomed to games where life refills are few and far between. But that’s not to say that the enemies win only to my incompetence. Plenty of them, like the Tektites and Ropes, move rather sporadically and are at times difficult to dodge. Such is the way of a game presented in two dimensions. the bosses start off pretty easy, but soon escalate to the point where you might actually get frustrated. The real key to winning in this game is to know which item to use on what. Almost every enemy has a weakness to one of Link’s various tools, and you just have to figure that out. Some people would never even think to use the shield to reflect boulders back at an enemy, or to stun a particularly nimble foe with the boomerang.

Possibly the thing I like most about the Minish Cap is the level on which you interact with all the characters you meet along the way. Almost every single peson in the game plays some sort of role. For the most part, they just hold kinstones, a new sub-quest dealie where you collect halves of stone coins, and then must find the peson with the other half. Fusing the kinstones will usually yield something of value, be it a secret path or a treasure chest stuffeed with rupees. Sometimes it even gives life to extremely durable golden enemies. There are 100 fusions in total, and a lot of them are randomly generated. Also, the people are really animated. The one I first noticed was a girl at the cafe, who when talked to spun around on her stool and gave her hair a mighty flip. I immediately crapped my pants and was floored. I’ve never seen such a minor character animated so intricately and smoothly. Oh yes, and the town is easily the greatest Zelda town ever. It feels so alive. It’s huge, contains tons of people to speak with, is extremely complex and packed with secrets, and changes ever so slightly over the course of the game. A Link to the Past intoduced the cucco. With Ocarina of Time came dogs. And now there are even cats and cucco chicks prowling the streets. All of which you can talk to while tiny. Except the room full of chicks. They just all come after you in a horrid flurry of down and talons.

The music is another portion of the game which is beyond exceptional. It borrows some music, but is also ripe with many of its own original tracks. Me, I was offended by the complete lack of the Zelda theme in Ocarina of Time. Majora’s Mask remedied the situation a little, and then the Wind Waker (while it’s original stuff is way above par) went back and almost completely forgot it. I love the piece, and the Minish Cap has no such lack of it. Most sections of the world map have either it or a variation playing (the Cloud Tops area mix is ineffably good), and there is no way that a GBA speaker could do the beautiful tunes in this game justice. Even the DS speakers don’t do the job perfectly. This is one of those games where you need headphones to get the true value out of the music. Oh yes, and there’s an excellent, excellent Castle remix for the last level. Ever since listening the “Trifore Majeure” song featured on OC Remix, that’s been one of my favortie Zelda tunes. Sadly, no palace music from Zelda 2. I really like that one too. But it’s top notch stuff people.

Like I said at the beginning, I adore the game, and if you like Zelda at all, you will too. It’s possibly the best GBA title to date (by production values anyway), and is a good sign that the Nintnedo and Capcom make excellent partners. Woo Capcom. It would be out of place, but I wouldn’t mind seeing maybe a MegaMan reference, or at least a Street Fighter reference in the next one. but, I’ve been working on this review for over an hour now, so it’s way past time to wrap it up. Minish Cap = excellent. You buy now. If you not buy, and you own GBA, you fool. Damned fool. Fool who clearly can’t appreciate the best things in life. If I were a guest in Rollercoaster Tycoon, I’d say it’s of excellent value. The only thing that scares me is that my youngest brother bought it as well, and is doing almost as well as I am, and I haven’t helped him at all. He’s getting too good. At this pace, it’ll be only a year or two before he’s better than me, and I don’t know if I’mma be able to deal with that.

Oh yeah, and on a side note, there’s a new Steve artice/rant thing. Like most of them, I agree, but with exceptions. no direclt link for youse guys this time. I’m too damned lazy to figure out the URL.

It’s beer! Hooray beer!

While I’m not a huge beer drinker, I still feel the absolute need to direct you to the site for Red Sripe beer. The commercials, PSAs, and radio spots on the site are just hilarious. If you only follow one link from my site this year, make it this one. I know it’s early to say that, but these are just plain great. They’ve almost gotten me to the point where I want to try this beer, if only to become beautiful.

The next order of business is the latest kickass Zelda remix. (Actually, it’s been out there for a few months, but anyway…) But, this time it does not come from OC Remix. Strange, no? This one is found on VG Mix. It’s called “Blood of Ganon”, and is a truly awesome hardcore Zelda medley containing music from the Legend of Zelda, Zelda 2, and A Link to the Past. Great stuff. Direct link, for those of you too lazy or stupid to navigate the site yourselves.

Remember when I said I was downloading a bunch of games? Well, they finished, and sadly, my computer was running in f’d-up mode at the time, and most of the files became corrupt. In an ironic twist of fate, the only one that ended up working was GTA3.

Ah yes, and I bought Resident Evil 4 today. The game kicks ass like none before it. It’s tons of frantic fun, as the enemies are really adept at killing you. You see, they can climb in windows, climb up ladders to higher windows, break down doors, throw molotov cocktails and axes (which you can explode/reflect with a fluke shot), and run at you like there’s no tomorrow. I’m not very far, but the game has already taken a few cool plot twists, and I’m totally impressed by everything. The new gameplay style is great, though precision aiming is a little hard at first. Graphics are possibly the best I’ve ever seen, and the voice acting turned out rather well. Ooh, and there is shootable livestock. I saw a chicken for the first time and said to my brother “I’m so gonna shoot that chicken”. And then I saw the cows. It’s just a superb game on every level, and I think I’ll have to go a little more in-depth with the reviewing once I finish it. A testament to the greatness of Capcom and the Gamecube, this is surely not a title to be missed.

Back in time

This is the first news post of February. There probably won’t be very many after it. There is gonna be a lot of gaming going on when I get Crystal Chronicles and my Zelda Collector’s Disc, so like I said at the end of last month, don’t expect much for a while after the 10th. 3 days left… I haven’t been looking forward to a game this much since the Wind Waker. I guess I was pretty hyped for Viewtiful Joe, but not so much that I was counting the days. After that period of gaming though… I won’t be getting many games unless I just trash the idea of buying a digital camera, which I don’t want to do. In any case, I might have a mini-review up tomorrow or Monday, and then it’s all up to fate. And that’s it for toady. Have a good night, and the new Astro Boy show isn’t all that good.

~Ryan out.

Nintendo Surprise: The Nintendo surprise bag

It’s really amazing how much merchandise that Nintendo pumps out. Sadly, most of it isn’t exactly the kind of stuff you want to buy, and very little of it is worthy promotion for the GameCube and GameBoy Advance. Sure the Pokemon line goes over really well with kids, but very few older Nintendo hardcores want Pokemon toys all over their room. I don’t. At one point, I did have a small Gloom hanging out on my dresser, but it got lost. Kinda unfortunate because Gloom is one of my favorite Pokemon.

Of course, they have gone to certain lengths to make Mario and Zelda action figure lines. You saw a few of them in Hylian Idol. We even got a few burger restaurant deals, one promoting Super Mario Bros 3 at McDonald’s, which was a long time ago. Last year, there were Mario toys at Wendy’s, which I believe came along to help sell Super Mario Advance. The most recent was the Burger King deal, which was a menagerie of Nintendo most popular characters, such as Mario, Link, Donkey Kong, and Kirby. Everyone loves Kirby. Why we didn’t see any kind of promotion for his TV show is beyond me though.

(>o.o)>

Whee! Look at him dance! I guess that’s an ample intro for today. I really don’t think it’s that necessary anymore. After all, they do sway off the path of the articles a bit. But in the quest for longer and better articles, I must do what I have to do. But, enough redundant rambling, I’ll just start the article now.

A long time ago, actually, less than a year to date, I was browsing the dollar stores of a faraway land and came across quite the treasure. It was a simple plastic bag with candy in it, but that was just the base idea. This bag of goodies was a Nintendo Surprise. Of course, the surprise wasn’t really there, since there was a transparent area on the front of the bag. That and they all had more or less the exact same things in them. I went back this year to seek more of the bags-o-fun and I found them, only they had changed a bit.

The old Nintendo Surprise contained a sucker, a Ring Pop-like thing, a slab of gum, and a game tip card. They all sported different characters. The gimmick was that you could collect all of the different characters and candies. I guess the only surprise is what character bust you found in the ring pop. There were 2 different sucker “statues”, 6 character busts in the ring pops, and 18 different portraits in the gum. The only problem with this is that they seem to be extremely rare, and no kid would be able to resist eating them.

Now, produced by Au’some Candies, the “Nintendo Surprises” are simply plastic bags containing a bunch of gum. It’s really a sad story. Why? Because the gum was the only collectible that you could really eat. the others left plastic remains to collect. Fortunately, you won’t want to eat the gum after you try one piece. it tastes absolutely horrible. Bad, sinful, imperfect, rancid, unsuitable, wicked, tainted, hurtful, noxious, and terrible are all words that go hand in hand with this gum. the package says “sour” but this stuff tastes worse that eating Kool-Aid powder. I kid you not.

As I stated in one of the above paragraphs, there are 18 slabs of disgust that you can collect. Though, Au’some Candies seems to have cut a few corners when they were making them. The different characters are the following: Mario, Princess Peach, Luigi, Bowser, Paratroopa, Larry Koopa, Ganondorf, Ludwig Von Koopa, Yoshi, Ganondorf, Link, Link, Link, Diddy Kong, Link, Donkey Kong, King K. Rool, and Donkey Kong. Notice the abundance of Link. Even the two different DK gums are the same picture, just one is reversed. At least they look pretty good and not at all like some poor African kids drew them on.

I also mentioned earlier that the Nintendo Surprise contained a card with a game tip on it. These ones are no different. But the use of the word “latest” is a bit of an exaggeration. At least now. I guess that I forgot to mention one little detail. After a little bit of researching, I found out that these things were made way back in 2001. I suppose it’s not as bad as the Hulk gum that my brothers got. If you read X-Entertainment, you’ve seen it before. And if you want a bit of a more in-depth look at the 8-year-old crap, check out Matt’s Video Store article.

So, here’s the contents of one of the packages. It seems a lot more impressive than it really is. A LOT. There’s not a lot I can say about this pile of crap that I won’t say later so instead I’ll tell you about this GameBoy Advance link cable that I’m holding. Firstly and most importantly, it’s a pretty shade of white, with a white tip for the first player, and gray tips for the second, third, and fourth players. That said, it obviously has four heads to link GBAs together. It’s made by Pelican and was a lot cheaper than buying three Nintendo-brand cables. there’s also a little switch on the connector that enables it to work with GameBoy Colour units. Back to what’s important.

As you can clearly see, they come in a wide variety of colors. All three colors of the… uh… groraninkbow. Ha. Got outta that one with style. Oh yeah. Anyway, it’s plain to see that a character is not confined to a single color. They can appear on any one of the three shades of gross. If you look even closer, you can see both Donkey Kongs and how it’s the same picture, just flipped horizontally, just as I said. On the upside, I was lucky and scored both Koopa Kids. I’m at a loss to see why they didn’t use all of them. If they hadn’t repeated characters there would have been enough to host all seven of ’em.

Now, I’ll try my best to describe what all of them taste like. Orange is clearly the best of the three. Incredibly enough, it does taste like orange candy-type stuff. Only it’s way too soury-like. Bad memories of Kool-Aid powder are coming back… Yuck. Well, I guess I was wrong. Pink is definitely the best. It tastes decent, much like one of those sour soother things. It’s still not worth eating, but at least it doesn’t make me want to throw up so that there’s a better taste in my mouth. Green is supposed to taste like apple, I think. It does a little bit, but then you notice that it has a hint of BILE in it. The package wasn’t lying when it said they were sour. Maybe not as sour as some other candy, but it isn’t exactly tame.

Look, it’s the Game Tip card! When I say card, I don’t mean card in the normal sense, or even the tradeable sense. It’s just a piece of hard paper with a picture and some words on it. Oddly enough, it’s the only thing included in the Nintendo Surprise that isn’t collectible. I guess you could collect all of the different tips, but to date I’ve only seen three different ones, and I and my brothers have been through at the very least twenty packs of this stuff. Oh, I forgot another important thing. The gum’s taste lasts for an average of 40 seconds. You’d be much better off with some Wal-Mart candy machine gum.

As usual, you can click on the pics to enlarge them if you want to read them. The first tip is for the Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages. It’s pretty handy, and is something you might not think of right away. But, most people who played the Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past have already figured this out. The second “tip” is both asinine and redundant. It tells you that in Super Mario Advance Luigi can jump the highest. It might have been helpful, but the game itself gives you this tip, so like I said, it’s redundant. Note that they have French tips too. If you can’t read the language, don’t worry, it says the same thing. This also leads me to believe that Nintendo Surprises were only distributed in Canada.

For the sole purpose of writing this article, I saved some of the plastic carcasses from the original Nintendo Surprise. Shown above are the sucker cases. There are only two to collect, so if you went the whole nine yard to get all the gum pieces, you’d have a lot of extra sucker cases. The two characters chosen to be immortalized as suckers were Mario and Yoshi. I don’t see why not. But they could have just as easily modded the Mario mold a little and at least made a Luigi. Oh well.

If you did manage to get you hands on a lot of these guys, they could be used as really low-budget action figures. I have several Yoshis and use them to war against my Star Wars figures with Mario as their leader. The detachable bases can also double as hats or a bad game of stack-the-sucker-bases. That’s what they seem to be doing in the picture above. To tell the truth, I’m really scraping for idea for this one. There’s a cool picture of a pelican on my GameBoy Advance link cable.

Pictured above are the remains of a couple of my Nintendo ring pops. They come in the same colours as the gum, but they taste a whole lot better. In fact, so do the suckers. Everything tastes better than that gum, except clams. I hate clams. Stupid chicken nugget-looking clams. I hate you, clams. I hate you and your cousin the oyster. In fact, I hate all seafood. Except sushi, I’ve never tried sushi. Or lobster. It’s pretty sad, but I plan to try it the next time we go to Red Lobster. Which should be in about 3 years. So I may never try lobster until it’s too late. I bet lobster tastes better than that stupid gum. And clams.

By now you should be aware that this bag of sugar was made for kids. This is further evidenced by the fact that the rings barely fit onto the second joints of my fingers, never mind the third. It also teaches us that Link doesn’t look good in pink. Red, blue, and green yes, but pink no. Yoshi can come in any colour and seems to be enjoying his orangyness quite well. I think green Yoshi is a bit jealous of orange Yoshi’s happiness. And Link seems to be jealous of both of their decent colour palettes and full bodies. Poor Link is just a bust of himself.

While I’m writing about shoddy Nintendo products, I guess I should mention this GameCube watch. It’s not really that bad, I did get it for free after all. My complaints focus mostly on the extremely easy to press buttons, causing the time to change by itself. If compared to most digital watches of today, it’s got no options, just the time and date. No fancy bells, whistles, or beeps. Then again, the time and date are all you really need. I never need a stopwatch or alarm anyway, so I guess I don’t care.

Now, back on topic, after finding my goods, I went to the dollar store next to the dollar store I had just been in. There I browsed the party favors and found some Groucho masks without the mustache. I had to have them. I’m not sure why I wanted them, they don’t fit, but I wanted them anyway. So that’s me with one of the masks on. Wow… I look nerdier than usual. It would probably have been a good idea not to upload it, but nobody who would judge me reads this site anyway. I guess I’m safe.

So to turn around the theme of the article and show a excellent Nintendo product and add some cool, I’m including another picture of my AGB playing MegaMan Zero. Once again, it’s an awesome game and if you have an AGB, you owe it to yourself to get it. Really. Or you could just wait a few months and get MegaMan Zero 2. Or you could not wait and import RockMan Zero 2 if you don’t care about knowing what to do or can read Japanese. In any case, it’s one of the best games I’ve played in a long time. Well, that’s about that for that.

So now you know what I was blabbering on about in that one news update. Ummmm… this whole conclusion part is the toughest thing to write. I guess I could mention that I have plenty of gum left if anybody wants to try some. I’m more than willing to let go of a piece or eight. That’s all I have to say for today. I have no more ideas about what to review, so I don’t know when the next article will be. Maybe I’ll finish that MegaMan article sometime within the week.

Hylian Idol!

Welcome back! Within the past few years, so-called “reality” TV has made a huge boom on the small screen. A lot of people will say that’s great, because they love the stuff, my mom included. A distinctly smaller group will not care either way, because they don’t care what they watch, or they don’t watch TV at all. My group though, will tell you that it’s horrible. A good amount of people do hate this crappy TV. Why do I hate it? Well, mostly because 1)A lot of the ideas are horse crap (i.e. Big Brother) and 2) Because they take up valuable air time when we could be watching cartoons or sitcoms instead. See my point?

As you may or may not be aware, “American Idol” has been on top of the proverbial heap for quite some time now. Like the rest, I really don’t like it all that much. If it were something more along the lines of “Rock Idol” or “Metal Idol” I might be a bit more interested in it. But as it is, all they do is promote crappy music and churn out pop stars (which, ironically enough, is another crappy musical reality show). Mmmm… pop stars – s + t = Pop Tarts! I like Pop Tarts. But not those commercials. I hate that stupid fricking BEEEEEOOM guy!! I want to kill him!! AAAAAAAHH!! Now look! I’ve gotten into a fit of rage! Better go to the next paragraph!

Just recently, they held a “Canadian Idol” competition here. I was going to try out, but then I remembered that I can’t sing worth a damn. So I did the next best thing and made a little parody of American Idol. It was getting pretty tough to find a crew, set and competitors, so I just took the easy way out and used toys. Building the set was a lot harder than I thought it to be, and getting most of the characters to stand up was seemingly impossible. In the end, I needed to take a total of 37 pics, which added up to just under 500KB. By my count, that is taking up about 2.5% of the space I have for my site, which is a lot more than I’ve allotted to other articles. Of course, my math skills are nothing to rely on, so I might be wrong. Enough about that though, the show must go on!

RyanMan= Hello everyone! Welcome to Hylian Idol, the first reality ummm…. thinger! I’m your host RyanMan, and these are our wonderful judges! Our fist judge is Link from the Legend of Zelda series of video games! Say hello to the kind people in internet world, Link!

Link= Hey thea homeez! I’m tha shiznat y’all!

RyanMan= Why the hell are you talking like that?

Link= Aren’t I supposed to be the equivalent of Randy Jackson from American Idol?

RyanMan= No. Our next judge in none other than Link’s rival, Ganondorf!! Say hi to everyone Ganondorf!

Ganondorf= You suck. You’re terrible. You have no talent. Muhahahahaha!

RyanMan= What the Hell are you talking about, Ganondorf?

Ganondorf= I thought I was playing Simon Cowell.

RyanMan= No, you’re just supposed to be yourself, Ganondorf.

Ganondorf= Very well. And from here on in I will be referred to as Ganon.

RyanMan= Right-o. And finally, our last judge, it’s her highness Princess Zelda!

RyanMan= Ummm… where’s the princess?

Link= I’m looking at you, Ganon.

Ganondorf= I didn’t do it! Not this time anyway…

RyanMan= Well, I guess we’re just lucky that we have a guest judge here. I’d like to introduce to you Mr. Bob McKenzie!

Bob= How’s it goin’ eh?

RyanMan= Pretty good, actually.

Bob= That’s great, eh. Now let’s get on with the show, ya hoser.

RyanMan= Sure thing.

Leia= Sorry I’m late, guys.

RyanMan= Why are you here, Leia?

Leia= Oh, ummm… Zelda couldn’t make it today. It’s time for her royal nap.

RyanMan= Riiiight. Well, I guess we’ll just go on anyway. Can’t disappoint the readers.

Ganondorf= Oh, I’ll give them a good disappointing!

RyanMan= Quiet, you. Now, our first contestant, Ash from Pokemon!

Ash= Hey everyone!

(loud booing)

Ash= Shut up!

RyanMan= So Ash, what are you going to do for us today?

Ash= Well, I thought I’d start by throwing a few Pokeballs…

RyanMan= That doesn’t seem so great

Ash= Shut up!

RyanMan= Whatever, just get to your act.

Ash= OK! Here I go!!!…. Wait! I can’t move my arms! Or my legs! AAAAHH! I’ve got no articulation whatever! Nooooooooooo!

RyanMan= While our crew pulls his body off the stage, we’ll see what the judges think of that performance.

Link= What performance? He just fell down! Well, at least he did a pretty good job of that…

Ganondorf= That was terrible! I’ve seem more talented Armos statues!

Leia= He’s a cutie! Maybe I’ll get his number after the show…

RyanMan= Well, a diverse reaction. What do you think, Bob?

Bob= I got some beer, eh?

RyanMan= Well, I guess that means that Ash won’t be today’s Hylian Idol.

Link= No sir.

RyanMan= So we’ll get our next contestant out here, DinoBot!

DinoBot= Rrrraaarr! Hey everyone! I’m the best!

RyanMan= Sure you are. Now, I hope you can do a little bit more than that Ash fellow

DinoBot= Of course I can! I am DinoBot!

RyanMan= Then what will you be doing for us today?

DinoBot= I’ll be doing my Grimlock impression!

RyanMan= Seems appropriate. Whenever you’re ready

DinoBot= Raaarr! Me Grimlock! Me wanna hear Kup’s war stories!…. That’s it.

RyanMan= …OK. What do you think, judges?

Leia= It was a decent effort, but nobody could EVER do a good Grimlock.

DinoBot= You sayin’ I’m no good?

Leia= Not exactly…

DinoBot= RAAAAARRR!! I’ll have your head! DinoBot transform!

RyanMan= Security! Well folks, it looks like we’re going to take a little break. But don’t fret, we’ll be right back with more Hylian Idol!

(Go get a snack or something. Pretend it’s a commercial break.)

RyanMan= OK, we’re back with Hylian Idol. After our last competitor went nuts, I’ve told our judges to try to be a little less harsh on the competitors who seem to be not quite mentally stable. Let’s see how this works out… Now, our next competitor is Spongebob Squarepants.

SpongeBob= Hi there!

RyanMan= Hey Spongebob, you’ve got a TV show already, so I’m guessing that you have some kind of talent?

SpongeBob= I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready!

RyanMan= OK, enough of that. Let’s go Sponge-boy.

SpongeBob= Watch this, I’m gonna make my face disappear!

RyanMan= Errrr… I’ll let the judges decide what to think of this.

Ganondorf= You fool! You just turned around! Go back to you day job!

SpongeBob= You don’t like me?

Leia= Well it was a pretty crappy trick

Link= Boooo!

SpongeBob= *Runs away crying*

RyanMan= What did you think, Bob?

Bob= I’m tryin’ to eat a donut here, eh?

RyanMan= Sure you are. Now, our next contestant is… Leonardo!

Leo= Hello.

RyanMan= So Leo, it seems you’ve had a bit of a career change

Leo= Actually I work as a volunteer firefighter. I just got back from a call and didn’t have time to change.

RyanMan= If you say so. What will you be attempting to do for us?

Leo= Well, I seem to have developed a strange ability to transform. That’s pretty much what I’ll be doing for you.

RyanMan= That’s it?

Leo= Yeah, but considering the competition so far, I think I have a pretty good shot at winning.

RyanMan= That is true. Well, go ahead then

Leo= Okay! Here I go!

Leo= Uh-oh

RyanMan= “Uh-oh” what?

Leo= I seem to have forgotten how to do this.

RyanMan= Well, mark up another failure

Leo= Master Splinter’s not gonna like this

RyanMan= Them’s the brakes. What do our judges think?

Link= You moron! I could transform better than you and I don’t know how!

Bob= Get off my table, eh.

Leia= Well, sadly enough, he was the best so far

Ganondorf= Oh God… One more idiot and I’m gonna go DinoBot.

RyanMan= Hey! We made a vow to never mention him again!

Ganondorf= Oops. I’ll try to avoid it from now on.

RyanMan= Good stuff. Now that Leo’s been carried offstage by the camera guy, we can get the next contestant up here. Everyone give a warm welcome to Safety Stan!

Stan= Hey everyone! I’m glad to be here!

RyanMan= So why do they call you “Safety” Stan?

Stan= Well, I’m extremely afraid of pain. See the helmet?

RyanMan= Afraid of pain, eh? You’d better do something bordering on acceptable then.

Stan= Why?

RyanMan= You’ll see. So speaking of which, what are you gonna do for us?

Stan= I’m gonna do a juggling act. I’m pretty pro, I do kids’ birthdays and all that shat. Now does anyone have something I can juggle?

RyanMan= You came to do a juggling act and have nothing to juggle with?

Ganondorf= *menacing growl*

Stan= Errrr… Of course not! I was just kidding! I’m actually going to sing.

RyanMan= Oh. That’s good. Finally it’s a real parody of American Idol. So what are you going to sing?

Stan= What am I going to sing? Uhhh… uhh… lemme see…

Ganondorf= *reprise of menacing growl*

Stan= The opening theme of the MegaMan cartoon!

RyanMan= Oh no…

Stan= Cue the music!

Stan= *horribly off key* Super fighting robot! MegaMan! Super fighting robot! MegaMan! Super fighting robot! MegaMan! Super fighting robot! MegaMan!

Ganondorf= THAT’S IT!!! TIME FOR SOME BLOODSHED!!

Stan= Waaaaaaaahhh!!!! No, please!

RyanMan= I knew this was going to happen sooner or later…

Stan= OOOWWWW!!! NOT MY ARMS!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

Ganondorf= Die pathetic scum!!!

RyanMan= I’m not even gonna get the other judges’ opinions.

Link= I kinda liked it.

Ganondorf= You want some too, little man?

Link= Hey! I’ve killed you on several occasions.

Ganondorf= Right, sorry…

RyanMan= Quiet, kids. It’s time for the next competitor. And now we have Turok: Dinosaur Hunter.

Ganondorf= Maybe he’ll kill DinoBot

RyanMan= *stern voice* Ganon

Ganondorf= Oops. Right. Not supposed to talk abou-

RyanMan= So here’s Turok!

Turok= Haha! I love me!

RyanMan= This is only gonna go downhill, isn’t it?

Turok= Aren’t I beautiful?

RyanMan= Sure. Now what do you plan on doing to try to impress our judges?

Turok= Well, I’m gonna fight Earthworm Jim here to the death.

Jim= Where am I?

RyanMan= Turok, you are aware that you could get hurt, right?

Turok= Bah. My vest of sticks and a green circle will protect me!

RyanMan= OK, whatever. Just get it over with

Turok= Right! Arm yourself, worm!

Jim= What the Hell!?!? Stop pointing that thing at me!

Turok= If you do not wish to fight, I shall pummel you mercilessly!!

Jim= What?

*fight ensues*

Jim= Okay, hunter-boy! Time to feel the wrath of my power suit!

Turok= Ah, so you finally decide to fight back! En guard!

Jim= En guard this!

*more fighting ensues*

Jim= How do you like that, you narcissistic freak?

Turok= My vest… it did…. nothing….

RyanMan= So I guess Jim wins then. What do the judges think?

Link= Well, Turok lost, so he sucks. But Jim wasn’t a contestant, so he can’t win.

Ganondorf= I could beat both of them at the same time.

Link= No you couldn’t.

Ganondorf= We’ll see about that later…

Leia= Zzzzzzzzzzzz…..zzzzzzzz….

RyanMan= HEY! Leia, wake up!

Leia= Wha!? Oh, uh… that was great.

RyanMan= Do you even know what happened?

Leia= Does it matter?

RyanMan= Check mate.

Bob= I brought some more beer, eh.

Leia= Gimme somma the good stuff

RyanMan= After we’re done you can drink to you heart’s content, but not until then

Leia= But he gets t-

RyanMan= That’s because it’s a character trait

Leia= *mumbles angrily*

RyanMan= Wait… that appears to have been our last act. I guess our judges will have to agree on which crap was the best crap.

Anakin= Hey! I want to do something! I’m a teen, gimme a beer!

RyanMan= No! We already told you that you are too young to compete! How did you get in here

Anakin= I’m not too young! I wanna get drunk! It’s soooo cool to get drunk!

RyanMan= Somebody gt this kid outta here

Link= Gladly

Link= Raaaah! Be afraid! I’ll chop you to little Jedi-bits!

Anakin= Waaaahhh!! Pointy! I’m outta here!

Link= I showed him

Leia= Oh yeah, great job. You scared a little kid

Ganondorf= Ha ha

Link= Shut up!

RyanMan= So can you guys decide who was the best?

Link= Me!

Leia= Fine. As long as it gets me closer to that beer

Ganondorf= Whatever. I just want outta here

Bob= Eh?

RyanMan= Then the vote is unanimous! Link is the Hylian Idol!

Link= So no change from the norm then

RyanMan= Alright, now just say goodbye to the camera and we can get the Hell out of here.

Link= Bye, camera!

Ganondorf= Just go away

Leia= BEER

RyanMan= Well, that’s the end of our show! Goodnight, folks!

Link= Hey… Gimme some sugar baby

Leia= ! Are you grabbing my boob?

Link= Oh come on, Zelda never puts out and I need my-

Leia= Here’s all you’ll get from me!

Link= Ah! If I’d known you were freakishly strong I’d have asked first!

Leia= Take this, pervert!

Link= *gets thrown across the room*

RyanMan= Oh. My. God. I’m getting out of here before it gets any worse.

And that’s the end of that. It was quite the adventure getting this done, but definitely more fun than a review article. I’d have to say that this and the Easter article have been my favorites so far. What you readers will think may vary, but I guess that differing opinions helps keep things fresh. So in conclusion, I must say that no matter whether you love or hate American Idol, I think that everyone can agree that Ganondorf would be an excellent judge.

I’m not sure about it yet, but I think I’m gonna make a mailing list for everyone who wants to know when I write a new article. So if you want in on this, just drop me an E-mail and I’ll add you to the list. Of course, if you want you could just check the site every couple days. To each his own. I really just need an excuse to do something with my account than let it collect spam.

Back from the void

As you may have or may have not noticed, I haven’t updated for the last 15(?) days. I have good reason. 1)I got Zelda and spent 3 days straight playing that. 2)My PC went coo-coo during spring break and I wasn’t able to use the internet. Only just today did I actually get it back to working. On the upside, my webcam also works now, so I can do articles on real things now, and not just stuff I can take printscreens of. Chat Radio 3 should be up by tomorrow at the latest, and I’m working hard on getting Airplane!, so expect a new article or two in the next little while. Also, I’ve updated the art gallery with a few pics. None of them were actually drawn by me, but it’s something to fill the void. ~Ryan out.

The Quest is over

You might have been visiting my other site here and discovered something quite saddening. But, to brighten your spirits, I’ll tell you this: I’ve been working on a couple different articles. And by that, I mean I just need to put the finishing touches on them before I upload them. Whee! Now that that’s out of the way, ZELDA’S COMING IN 14 DAYS!! …yeah, that’s about all I have to say for now. Adios.

The Legend of Zelda (cartoon)

As you might be aware, I already did a little overview of the Legend of Zelda cartoon in my first article. But, I was recently given the chance to see all 13 episodes of the series, of which I’ve only watched 7 of so far. I know I was a little bit harsh on it back in the other article, but now I see the error of my ways.

Why was I so harsh? Well, it’s mostly because I hadn’t seen the show for so many years that I had forgotten that it’s f***ing hilarious. Yeah, I was so very amazed at how funny the cartoon actually is. While most of the funny came from laughing at the show, there was still a lot of intended funny. I have to say that this is the first show in a long time that’s made me fall off the seat laughing. Actually, it’s the first anything in a long time that’s made me falling off the seat laughing.

But today I am going to focus on the absolute funniest episode that I’ve seen so far. It’s called “The Missing Link”. Now that name by itself just screams hilarity, don’t you think? Well even if you don’t, I do. Actually, the title is a bit misleading, seeing as Link is never actually “missing” per se, just more not there. Sure he may go “missing” for 2 or 3 seconds, but that’s just for effect. Now that I think of it, most of the titles up to this point are misleading. But that’s besides the point.

“The Missing Link” is definitely my favorite episode so far, mostly because it’s funny, but also because the plot is rather good. You know, for a kids show. If it’s wasn’t an ancient kids cartoon, I might be a little more picky about how good the plot is, but seeing as it’s so damn funny, I’ll let it go this time. Well, enough babbling, on to the show!

THA LEGUN UV ZELDAH!!
At least the birdies aren't missing.

“The Missing Link” is the sixth episode in the series, or so I’ve been led to believe. This really has no effect on anything, since there is absolutely no continuity anywhere in the series. Well, maybe a little, but nothing that would make any difference.

Our show starts with Zelda picking flowers in the castle courtyard. Just another day in the seemingly unpopulated world of Hyrule. But then, out of nowhere, the fountain explodes in a pillar of sparkly pink dust and Ganon and his entourage of Stalfos and Moblins appear out of a hole in the ground. Now this is not at all awkward, since unlike the game, everywhere in Hyrule is an entrance to Death Mountain. The blast knocks Zelda over and her flowers to an untimely doom.

Awww, they're so pretty.
EEK!

Where is our hero? I’ll tell you where he is. He’s up on a bridge-type thing polishing his shield. Now this is the one thing that’s plagued curious gamers since the first Zelda game came around. Where does Link hold all of his stuff? Well the cartoon answers all. Apparently, in Hyrule, everything is “magic” and can conveniently be shrunken down to mini-size and stored in a side pack. And speaking of shrunken, Link’s sword is tiny! I have LEGO swords that are bigger than that thing. But it gets the job done so can’t complain.

Link jumps down from the bridge, and the Moblins start shooting magic arrows at his nice clean shield. What a downer. He asks Zelda if she’s OK, she replies yes, and the Moblins get an idea. They immediately open fire on her so that Link can get in as many shots as he needs. When Link attacks, the sword’s shot makes the right noise, but when the bad guys blink out of existence, they make the sound of collecting a rupee. Strange, no? Zelda takes Link’s shield and runs away to get the Triforce, leaving Link defenseless against the barrage of arrows.

Oh no... it's his evilness Ganon!
Gimme that!

Ganon reveals that he has a new weapon, the Magic Wand! Real new, pig-face. He intends to use it to zap Zelda into his “Evil Jar”. I’ll explain this as clearly as I can. Ganon has this really big jar in his lair. When monsters are “zapped” by anything “magical” that touches them, they go into this jar for recycling. But,
when humans get hit by one of these magic zaps, they just fly ten feet backward. So, Ganon has conjured up a staff that will allow him to put humans in the jar. Simple, right?

Zelda reappears with the Triforce and no shield. She zaps a few Moblins and then Ganon attacks. Zelda is able to reflect the powerzap with Triforce magic. the zap bounces off a few walls with a rubberness that Flubber would be jealous of, and then, since he has no shield Link takes the blast and fades out of existence. Ganon decides to cut his losses and return to Death Mountain. Zelda realizes that she took the shield which makes her responsible for Link’s being zapped. Ordinarily she wouldn’t care, but since it’s a special occasion, she breaks down and cries over Link’s dropped sword.

Fighting magical powers with magical powers since 1989
Boo-hoo! It's all my fault!

But what is this? Link’s ghost appears out of nowhere and Zelda ends up doing a faceplant while trying to hug the “ghostified” Link. Apparently all that bouncing around weakened the power zap and only Link’s body was taken to the Evil Jar. Sprite the fairy appears and now we see that Zelda is the only one who can see ghost Link. The dynamic duo decide that they must go find Link’s body. It’s not like there’s anything else to do in Hyrule. I told you, nobody lives there except for Link, Zelda, Sprite and the stupid-ass king. I guess they could all play a game or something, but they would tire of each other eventually.

Now we have a problem. Link can’t pick up his sword.

Link = What am I gonna do?

Zelda = The only thing we can do. Get it back.

(She pick up and swirls the sword around)

Link = My heroic princess. Kiss me.

Zelda = Oh shut up.

I laugh every time I hear that.

Hey! you're really falling for me, princess!
I can't pick up my sword! *insert impending doom music*

So the two head into Death Mountain, and are attacked by Stalfos. Zelda manages to zap them all, with the help of Ghost Link. But like Sprite, the Stalfos weren’t able to see Ghost Link. Zelda wonders why she is the only one who can see him… They move on and find a balcony over Ganon’s chamber.

The jarred(as in “now stuck in a big jar”) Stalfos tell Ganon about how Link is a ghost and nobody can see him but Zelda. Ganon yelps and turns away in disgust, stating that the only way Zelda could see Ghost Link is if…

Ganon ponders the meaning of life over his new coffee table.
AAAHHHH! A GHOST!

ZELDA WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!

Our heroes overhear the conversation and Link gets up on the balcony’s edge and does a little song and dance, being so happy that Zelda loves him. She inevitably denies it, saying she only likes him a little bit. But since Ganon can still hear Link, his outburst alerts the bad guys and Ganon sends a bunch of Moblins after them. they jump down and Link runs to the jar as Zelda tries to fend off the Moblins.

Link does the Happy Dance.
Surfing the pink wave! Hang... everything?

Link swims through the endless pink fog that is the inside of the jar and comes across his body, guarded by a lone Stalfos. Link enters his body and demands that the skeleton gives him a bomb. What could he be thinking? A bomb? Inside the Evil Jar? Link, you’d better not be planning what I think you are.

Meanwhile, Zelda isn’t putting up much of a fight, and the Moblins are really ahead in the fight. Just as they’re about to finish her off, the jar blows up and Link comes surfing through the waves of purple liquid on… nothing. The “water” washes Ganon and his minions away, and Link saves Zelda from the remaining Moblins. But just as they are about to celebrate *wink wink* the Evil Jar starts to explode and they are forced to high-tail it out of there

Pucker up, baby! Will Link finally get his kiss?

Yipe! Where'd he go?
Nope. Instead, he falls into a hole.

For what it’s worth, he does get a kiss when he falls and kisses the dirt, but for the sake of comedy Link goes through all this for nothing. I guess it’s just to teach kids at home that when they’re about to be kissed, to look out for plot-holes. Get it? Plot-holes?? Ha ha ha ha ha! I kill me.

Then as the show fades out, Zelda bursts into a laughing fit that sounds suspiciously like the crying fit she had at the beginning of the episode. Luckily, I downloaded this episode, so I didn’t have to put up with Captain Lou and Mr. Wells making complete idiots out of themselves. I think karma is finally repaying me for all the good things I do. Thank you karma.

So that’s it. I really recommend you try to download it from somewhere or scour your local Blockbuster for a tape. I know ours has some Mario Bros. videos, so you might be lucky. Even some other video shops might have them, I’m not sure, I don’t look at the movies, especially the kiddie movies. Like I previously said, the plots of these shows are a bit lacking, but that really doesn’t matter since they’re so damn funny.

I just noticed that this review is really long, especially compared to my other ones. But long is good, right? I probably could have compressed it a bit and cut out some filler, but I like it the way it is, so that’s the way it’s gonna stay. I really don’t have anything to go out on, so I’ll just leave you with this little tidbit: Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Welcome one and all to the very first article on ~~Mr. Hotshot64 v.2’s PAGE OF DEATH!!~~ Torrential Equilibrium I just thought I’d whip up a test page so anybody out there who is actually visiting the site can see what it’s gonna look like. I’m not gonna really write anything much, just a little bit about a certain show…

Seeing as this marks my very first article, we will all mark the date on our calendars and celebrate it as a national holiday every year from now on. And EVERYONE will celebrate. I don’t care what “religion” you’re a part of, this is the new holiday of holidays. Presents and no school/work for all! I shall call it “Uber-Friday”. Ironically, today is Saturday.

As some of you may notice, it looks a lot like the old X-Entertainment did. Well, mostly because I copied and pasted the HTML and then just changed a whole bunch of stuff around. Call it plagiarism if you wish, but I have to figure it out somehow. Copying someone else’s work just happened to be the quickest way for me to do it.

Actually, this whole intro is pretty much a sneaky way to keep the surprise topic a surprise. I don’t want you guys to know what you’re reading about before you’re done reading the intro. If you did, you would just skip the intro and go straight for the good stuff, like a kid would run right past the vegetable stand in front of the candy factory. But like those vegetables, the intro contains many essential vitamins that you must take, even though the article itself is the much more delicious part. So now that I’ve put in my necessary metaphor, let’s get on to the topic!

Today, I present to you one of the most amazing things ever to hit the small screen, the one show that changed the lives of so very many young children and one old wrestler. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

THE SUPER
MARIO BROS.
SUPER SHOW!

Yes, that’s right pizanos! It’s everyone’s favorite Nintendo-based cartoon show! I’m certain that everyone I know remembers and loves the show dearly. Sadly, a limited number of episodes are available to download and the show itself has been off the air for several years. But that won’t stop us from having super-sized fun! So grab a Super Mushroom or two and get ready for some nostalgic reading.

It all started way back in 1989 (or so I’ve been told), when the first episode aired. Nintendo lovers all around the… North America were eagerly anticipating the new show starring Super Mario and his buddies. Actually, I don’t know if anyone was anticipating it. Maybe it just came along and got popular. Like The Legend of Zelda cartoon that was also featured on the Super Show, but I’ll get to that later.In any case, kids were expecting to have a half hour of animated Mario goodness…

Boy did they get stiffed.

There was only about 12 minutes of animated footage on the Super Show. The rest was live action Mario and Luigi bumbling around what I’m presuming was their home/office. Mario was played by the famous wrestler Captain Lou Albano. Luigi was played by some guy that nobody knows. Yes, that’s right, Danny Wells donned the green overalls for the first ten minutes of the Super Show. They also got to voice the animated versions of their characters. Who would have guessed? I would have thought the execs at DIC would have hired some other guys. Oh well, win some, lose some.The one “upside”, if you will, of the live action segments was that there was always a guest star who happened to be rather popular during that era. None spring to mind, but I’m sure they used to be household names.

The bros also had some kind of weird Ninja Turtles-esque pizza fetish. Their phone was covered in pizza, and there were pieces of the stuff strewn all about the place, along with the probably empty boxes. This just goes to show that not all Italians who live in Brooklyn fly the straight and narrow. No, these guys were rebels. They made their place messy, and they liked it that way. Danny Tanner would have several heart attacks. Actually, I think Bob Saget might have been a guest star once. Damned if I can remember.

Well, to say the least, the cartoon was excellent. It came out after Super Mario Bros. 2 for the NES, and it featured all the bosses that everyone loved, including German-tongued Mouser, three-headed snake Triclyde, and of course the infamous King Koopa (who has more recently been named Bowser.) It seemed really authentic, if you only consider the characters. All the good guys and bad guys from SMB2 were there, but the plots and scenery were unlike anything ever seen in the video game. Not to say that any of the plots were better than SMB2’s. They were all pretty bad.The last episode I can remember seeing was entitled “Mario Meets Koop-Zilla” in which Mario and the gang (Luigi, Toad, and Princess Toadstool(Peach)) traveled to some far away town to get the Super Sushi, which would make Mario giant, and hopefully enable him to squish King Koopa out of existence once and for all.

Unfortunately, Koopa got there first, and stole the Super Sushi, thereby making him “Koop-zilla” and enabling him to stomp the city to rubble. Luckily, some scientist whips up another batch of this Super Sushi and Mario gains a beer belly, pot belly, jelly belly, love handles, and lots of fat. Really, most of the growth was in the stomach area. It was gross and hilarious at the same time. Like farting. Although that is more of a perspective thing.

So eventually the good guys triumph, and all is well again as once again normal sized King Koopa escapes into the night. Back at the scientist’s lab, the gang celebrates the victory and Mario gobbles up a plate of Shrinking (Something), and becomes Mini-Mario. hilarity ensues. The end.See, nothing special story wise, but the one-liners were always great. Of course, nobody who was actually watching the show back then had the mental capacity to absorb any of this. They just liked the bright colors and the recognizable characters. Nowadays we can see how uninspired the plots were. It’s not like today’s cartoon plots are any better though.

The last thing I should mention about the Super Show is the extra special Friday episodes. This was the day everyone waited for. This was the day that made the week worth living through. This was the day where The Legend of Zelda would air instead of Super Mario Bros.

It’s really a shame that Zelda only got 13 episodes before it was cancelled. Everyone I know prefers it over Mario’s offering. Maybe that’s because they don’t remember it very well. The Link of today and Link on the show are two very different people. Today’s Link is a serious adventurer and Hero of Time, with blond hair. The Link on the show was a joker who just wanted a piece of Zelda’s sweet, sweet can. Plus he had brown hair. Needless to say, I prefer old Link. I’m just not a fan of blond hair. This show wouldn’t have been a comedy if it weren’t for good old Link. He truly did save the day.The stories on The Legend of Zelda weren’t much better than what Mario had, and with the exception of Link’s snappy dialogue, they weren’t half as funny. Of course, there was a lot more action and magic in Zelda. And as everyone knows, action + magic = cool. So do we have a winning formula on our hands? Apparently not. 13 episodes more or less means failure. But, there is that slim chance that failures can be good though. Just look at Undergrads, Mission Hill, and Clone High. All dropped after a single season, yet they’re all great shows.

All I have to say is that Zelda could have gone somewhere. I don’t see why it didn’t. It had the potential, it had the franchise, it had the theme song. But it seems the general public has failed us again and just didn’t want to give it the ratings necessary to keep it going. Oh well.

All in all, The Super Mario Bros Super Show was a pretty decent show. Some may argue that the live action was good, but I would rather have more cartoony fun. A few of you may criticize me for saying a couple bad words about the Legend of Zelda, and all I have to say to you is “Excuuuuuuuuse me, princess.” They weren’t the best cartoons on TV, but they were damn good while they lasted. So if you can, build some kind of show developing company some day and revive these shows. It will benefit all of mankind and make many, many fans very happy people.

***

Hey, I’m even going to give you a little bonus for visiting my site and reading this. Download away!
Do The Mario and enjoy! *offer expired*

THE SUPER MARIO BROS. SUPER SHOW!

THE SUPER
MARIO BROS.
SUPER SHOW!