Category: Video Games

Pokémon Direct thoughts

A new Pokémon Direct happened today! I have thoughts! Excited thoughts!

Pokkén Tournament DX – I’ll be honest, it’s not what I was hoping for, but it’s about what I expected. You can’t fault Nintendo for taking all the big games from a system that nobody owned and re-releasing them on the hot new machine that everybody (who matters) wants.

But I’m at a very tough crossroads with this one. On one hand, I don’t really want to buy Pokkén again. $80 seems like a lot for any fighting game that isn’t Smash. On the other hand, it has become obvious that they’re never releasing the DLC characters for the Wii U version, so this will be my chance to finally play as my beloved Scizor. Plus Decidueye is super cool and will probably be a lot more useful in Pokkén than the actual Pokémon games.

Ah, who am I kidding? I’m absolutely going to buy it again. Pokkén will be an excellent bus game.

Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon – This is not what anyone expected. The whole world was set on getting Pokémon Stars for Switch, not an alternate telling of Sun/Moon on 3DS again. But that’s just the way Game Freak works. They love clinging to the system they’re comfortable on.

Again, I’m a little hesitant to get too excited here. I mean, we really only got a little teaser; I need to know a lot more before I decide how much I care about this one. Pokémon Sun and Moon were wonderful games, and if they craft the UItras as well as they did Black 2 and White 2, I would say we’ve got a definite Buy on our hands here. But that’s going to require at least three things: a convincing new plot, at least one new island to explore, and the return of that sweet movie-making mini-game.

Ohhhhh and new Alolan Forms. Those have to be a thing.

At the very least, the mystery of Necrozma is solved(ish): he becomes armour for Solgaleo and Lunala. Should have been more obvious, since he’s a prism and his ability is Prism Armor. It’s also another parallel to BW2, where Kyurem can fuse with Reshiram and Zekrom.

Pokémon Gold and Silver on 3DS Virtual Console – IMO this should have happened long ago, not in this coming September. Finally, we’ll be able to play a legit version of these games without having to worry about the dreaded battery issue! But seriously, what was the freakin’ holdup?

Actually I think that this is what I’m most excited for out of the three announcements. Though it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, considering how much I love retro gaming. Gold and Silver are great, though to date I have logged uncountable hours into them and still haven’t completed an English version of either one. I very much look forward to leaving one (or both?) half-finished yet again.

What really boggles my mind is the complete absence of Pokémon Crystal, the GBC-exclusive third version. Its extra features and animated sprites are awesome, but really I want it mostly because it was the first Pokémon game that let you play as a girl.

Ode to Mega May

In 2015, I recorded myself playing through Mega Man 4. I never did anything with the files because… I really don’t quite remember why. Probably because I was too lazy to watch and process them.

Anyway, I went and did all that work last month and put the finished videos on YouTube as a celebration of Mega May. Because I didn’t actually play any Mega Man games. Had to do something, you know? The first episode is embedded below.

The series is… not doing well. Nobody watches my Let’s Play videos. Maybe that’s why I didn’t bother processing and uploading these before? And after all the trouble I went through (barely any) to whip up those spiffy title cards.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – May 2017

This may be the longest list to date… I don’t know quite how it happened, seeing as I feel like I’ve been playing far fewer video games than usual. Ack! Maybe it’s time to start logging playtime?

~ Game Over ~

Bye-Bye, BoxBoy! (3DS) – Is it the Best Box Boy? Yeah. Yeah it is. They’ve definitely pushed the series as far as it can go, and I’m glad it’s (ostensibly) being retired before it loses its lustre.

KAMIKO (Switch) – I thought “This looks neat, I’ll buy it off the Japan eShop because there’s no way it’ll ever come out in North America” but was stymied because the Japan eShop doesn’t accept my MasterCard. And then it came out in North America the very next week. Welp!

ABZÛ (PS4) – Something about a diver saving an underwater ecosystem from the ravages of machines. I don’t really get it, but it was super pretty. Also, so many cool fishies!

Blazing Star (Switch) – A NEO-GEO shoot-’em-up that is visually amazing (duh). It also taught me what separates a good shmup from an annoying shmup: enemies that soak up bullets. Also most of the playable ships are kind of terrible. Windina is always the way to go.

Stardew Valley (PC) – We accomplished everything that isn’t a horrible slog. Once we acquired the Junimo Hut, it just seemed like there was nothing else worth doing. And so it’s finally over.

Dark Witch Music Episode: Rudymical (Switch) – The title gives away that this is not your average Legend of Dark Witch game. In fact, it is instead a weird rhythm game that demands nothing less than perfection. Despite that, I still kinda liked it.

Destroy All Humans! (PS4) – Bought the PlayStation Humble Bundle just to replay this. Honestly, a little underwhelming on the gameplay front, but I loooove the B-movie aesthetic/plot.

Snipperclips (Switch) – Chopped my way to the end of the single-player levels. It’s a very clever game, but is so much more fun when you’re working with other players. And I say that from experience, having previously solved all the multiplayer stages with a full four-person team.

ARMS Global Testpunch (Switch) – Okay, so I didn’t really “beat” it because it’s just a demo… But I really wanted to list it because it absolutely sold me on ARMS. Of course.

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – May 2017

Greasy Money : The Liquor Guide

Hey! Let’s talk about Trailer Park Boys: Greasy Money a little more today.

Actually, let’s not talk, per se. This is going to be more of a mini-guide than the usual opinion piece. Greasy Money is a fairly standard idle game, though it does have a number of bells and whistles to differentiate itself from the thousands of other idle games on the iTunes App Store and Kongregate.com. As many of those other games, it deals with several different types of currency.

First, there’s cash. It’s fun, because there’s actually a story conceit as to why you’re making millions upon billions of dollars in the game. Usually that just gets completely ignored. Cash is mainly earned from your businesses. It can also be gained by cracking open trunks, which is kind of waste, because anything else you get from a trunk will be infinitely more valuable. Literally the only thing you can do with cash is invest it back in your businesses to attract more customers, which will increase the business’ cash output. And so the cycle continues.

Next are the hashcoins. These are the premium currency, and while the game does dole out a fair amount in the tutorial seasons, you will typically have to pay real money for more. You can also find one or two in a trunk from time to time, but they’re going to accumulate very slowly. Hashcoins are spent in the in-game store to buy premium trunks, time skips, and liquor.

Speaking of liquor, that’s the final currency type. This is the semi-premium currency, in that you don’t have to buy it with your heard-earned hashcoins, but you’re not going to be earning a useable amount very quickly. Liquor also happens to be the most valuable stuff in the game, as it’s used to upgrade your businesses and characters, and to buy new cards. There are tons of ways to get liquor, but most don’t pay out very well. The purpose of this guide is to tell you all the ways to get your liquor so that you can make the most out of your time with the game.

Side note: I suppose that technically, the character/business cards are also a form of currency, but forget those for now. They are essentially just a specialized form of liquor, anyhow.

That said, let’s take a look at all the ways you can earn liquor:

Continue reading Greasy Money : The Liquor Guide

Understanding in restrospect

Destroy All Humans! is a weird title for a video game. I mean, you never destroy all humans. It’s not really the goal. You can’t destroy all the humans. They keep spawning in forever. That and the game had at least three sequels, (one of which was strangely Wii-exclusive, IIRC) which means that your little alien fella has a pretty bad track record of completing his title objective.

I bring this up because I bought the PlayStation THQ Nordic Humble Bundle a couple of weeks ago. Specifically because I remember really enjoying Destroy All Humans! and wanted to play it again. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

Full disclosure: it was mostly so I could watch Teenagers From Outer Space again. Which I’m almost certain I could have just watched for free on YouTube.

Anyway, replaying Destroy All Humans! has been a somewhat revelatory experience. See, I’ve been watching Unsealed: Alien Files (which is engrossingly dumb) lately, and I’m mildly shocked that DAH borrows a number of real-life alien conspiracy theories. For example, the plot of the game is about aliens returning to Earth to harvest human DNA, because their alien DNA has degraded through generations of cloning, and humans have pristine alien DNA in them from some random copulation millenniums ago. This is a thing that some people actually believe as truth! How insane is that!? The game’s shadowy government agency that exists to deal with aliens is called Majestic, and in real life, conspiracy nutters believe that an organization known as the Majestic 12 runs all the extra-terrestrial-related recovery/investigation/whatever. Neat!

I guess there’s probably more in there, but I haven’t noticed any other significant connections. You’ve got the regular stuff like abductions, probes, and cow mutilation, but nothing that suggests any specific conspiracy theories that I’m aware of. Anyway, it’s cool that the references/inspirations are there, and I had no idea about them the first time I played the game. And that’s really about all I have to say about that.

Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – April 2017

~ Game Over ~

NieR: Automata (PS4) – Finished up and got that sweet platinum trophy. Loved every minute of it. I laughed, I cried (multiple times), and I have to say it’s a worthy follow-up to one of my favourites.

PaRappa the Rapper Remastered (PS4) – Yeah, I bashed my head against this wall long enough to get to the end, but I doubt I will ever truly understand how to play well.

Blaster Master Zero (Switch) – What a stellar game! The original Blaster Master is much too hard for me, so this reboot was a very nice way to appreciate the game without all the headaches.

The Unfinished Swan (PS4) – A weird little first-person adventure game that is constantly playing with how you get around its world. Read more here.

Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap (Switch) – Beautiful remake of a TG-16 platformer that I didn’t realize that I already own on Wii Virtual Console. Oh well! It’s definitely worth buying again!

Pic-A-Pix Color (WiiU) – Honestly, I’m as surprised as you are that I’m playing a Wii U game. But then again, it’s picross, so maybe not. Also it’s crossbuy with 3DS, so I’ll likely play it again soon!

Continue reading Monthend Video Game Wrap-Up – April 2017

Wherein I showed some effort

Guess what! I went and slapped a few more of those old non-WordPress articles into WordPress! Now there are more things here to read! Hooray! Exclamation points!

GameCube Demo Disc – Honestly, I wish there were more of these. I’m very much at the point in my life where hidden gems of that era interest me greatly.

Birthday Article 2003 – The first of… several. Certainly could be classified as a relic of another era, as I will never again get enough things for my birthday to write an article about.

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! – Read this and get excited for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on Switch! Or at least, wish that Nintendo would bring back the two-person karts. I liked that gimmick a lot.

Holiday Viva Puffs – I had actually moved this one over back in December, but forgot to make a big stick about it. Whoops!

With these up, all articles from 2003 and 2006 onward are available on the WordPress site. Of course, they all still exist in their gaudy web 1.0 glory on the archive site. So feel free to check that out if you’re tired of the unified white-and-blue theme. Some of them have ugly background jpgs!

Is it Greasy, or Gree-hee-heeasy?

The Trailer Park Boys mobile game, Greasy Money, was released yesterday. 4/20. Of course.

I’ve put some time into it, and it’s basically just another clicker game (“waiting simulator” if you prefer), but with a little bit of added complexity. So it’s really striking all the sweet spots for me.

The one thing that I really dislike about it is that while it has a unique plot, all of the story beats after the opening cutscene are stolen wholesale from the show. Even all the jokes are just pulled straight from a list of the show’s most quotable lines. It’s really lazy. Thumbs down.

But that’s fairly minor. It’s still one of those games that worms its way into your life and only lets go once you decide to turn off notifications. Considering that, I’ll probably stick with it longer than any other mobile game ever. So maybe like a week?

Giant swans are creepy

I bought a game called The Unfinished Swan on PS4 a couple weeks ago when it was on sale for a toonie. This purchase was based on an article that I’d read about the game long ago, which I remember as being somewhat interesting. I don’t remember what the thrust of the article was, or where I even read it, but it left me with a good impression for some reason. So I gave up a coffee for a new video game.

After finishing the game, I consider it to have been a sound investment. The Unfinished Swan is a two-hour indie game with a cute little story about an orphan boy travelling through a fantasy world. It’s almost a walking simulator, but actually asks something from the player besides moving forward to the next plot point. What that task is changes throughout the course of the game, but is generally all about manipulating your environment in some fashion.

When you start off, you’re in complete white. Not a scuff or shade to show the way. Your only recourse is to bumble around in the perceived nothingness (and that actually ties into the game’s toughest trophy), or start chucking paint balls like a madman to slowly reveal your surroundings. It’s still kind of tough to make your way around, but as you go, the world starts to fill in. First with only shadows, but by the time you hit Chapter 2, there are outlines and coloured objects abound.

Said second chapter introduces the idea of flipping switches to make things move, and gimmicks that follow include following a ball of light through a pitch-dark forest and creating blocks out of thin air to build bridges across otherwise impassable pits. My favourite part, though, is when you get to command a vine that grows over every surface that you splat with a water balloon. It’s a lot of fun just to make the vine grow, and it’s compelling to find and create paths with the vine to climb along. Unfortunately, the game is tailored to be very straightforward, so there isn’t much room for creativity.

Along the way there are a couple distractions, like collectible balloons that you can use to unlock extra features. There are also little storybook panels that reveal bits and pieces of the world’s backstory. Whether this narrative is truth or just your character’s imagination is left up to interpretation, but it’s a cute and surprisingly sorrowful tale. I liked it, because it didn’t take itself too seriously and typically leaves you alone if you aren’t interested.

While there isn’t a whole lot of substance in The Unfinished Swan, it’s a charming little game that was a solid way to spend a Saturday afternoon. As I said before, it’s only a few hours from start to finish. If you really need to wring it dry, the trophies will likely double your playtime, but they’re mostly shallow busywork. I don’t know what the regular price is, and damned if I’m going to check, but it’s probably safe to say that I wouldn’t have regretted spending up to a tenner on this one. The fact that there was actual gameplay certainly helped it in that regard.