Lasers in Her Eyes

I don’t remember when, exactly, but at some point last year, my brother told me about this game called Lorelei and the Laser Eyes. I happened to have my Switch in my hands at the time and immediately looked it up on the shop. Browsing through the screenshots, I could see a game that took place in a mansion with fixed camera angles. That was enough for me to hit the “Buy” button.

Now, months later, I’ve finally played the game. And what a game! Much like the other Simogo games I’ve played, Year Walk and Sayonara Wild Hearts, Lorelei left a huge impression on me. But for completely different reasons! Year Walk scared the piss out of me and had an unforgettable twist during the second half, and Sayonara Wild Hearts’ soundtrack is one of my favourites of all-time. Lorelei, on the other hand, is a gigantic series of interconnected puzzles with a mind-bending story woven throughout them. And, man, that’s just like the perfect recipe for a game for me.

So having played through the whole game to 100% completion, I’m honestly still not entirely sure what the story is trying to tell me. You start off having just arrived at a creepy old hotel/art museum at the behest of its owner. I had presumed that your character was the titular Lorelei, but then you read about Lorelei in notes and actually meet the woman herself, which kind of debunked that notion. But then you get even farther in and some things happen that start to make you think: oh wait, maybe I am Lorelei after all? Are there two Loreleis? Only the ending can tell!

Aside from figuring out what kind of temporal shenanigans may or may not be happening at this hotel, there’s also this sort of sub-plot about art. The dude who invited you to the hotel in the first place, Renzo, is an artist; his medium of choice being film. In notes you read that he’s kind of a kook and that his films are way past avant-garde, and his life goal is trying to make the purest form of art possible, all to spit in the face of Mammon (read: commercialism). The entire game is built around this fascination with art, from the black and white and red graphics to the way the story is told in fractured, often confusing notes and cutscenes, and it even leaks into a lot of the puzzle designs.

Now, you might not think that puzzles are overly artistic, and a lot of them aren’t. In fact, most of them revolve around reading notes to figure out how devices work or simply solving number puzzles to learn the passcode to certain doors. But then you remember that the whole mansion is basically just one giant piece of interactive art, and all of those puzzles have been designed and put there by one or both of the characters who inhabit the hotel. Or maybe the previous owner? It’s still not entirely clear to me.

There’s even one fairly substantial series of puzzles that’s built entirely around art installations and how you view them. These installations provide the combinations to several puzzle boxes that are themselves a separate art installation, which is maybe the masterwork of Lorelei herself? And then you get clues from those puzzle boxes to keywords that will unlock clues for yet another puzzle! It’s really nice that that whole set of interconnected puzzles is tied into the story, makes it feel a lot more satisfying to solve.

As a game that’s built almost entirely around puzzles, there is definitely a wide range of difficulty, as one might expect. Some of the puzzles (particularly the ones that open shortcut doors) are mindlessly simple, and others are likely to stump you for days on end (I had that problem a couple times). There are some puzzles that have very simple solutions, but how you come about those solutions can be maddeningly opaque. For example, the set of puzzles that unlocks the game’s maps are available from basically the very start, and the key to unlocking them is also accessed early, but I was at roughly 60% completion before it occurred to me to put the two together.

Suffice it to say I had an absolute blast with this one. Simply wandering the mansion to search for puzzles and clues is fun, and the sheer number of “A-ha!” moments I had kept the dopamine on a constant flow. The ending is fantastic: both jaw-dropping and bittersweet. And of course, any game that essentially demands that I have a pen and paper on hand to keep notes is a winner in my book. I played several great games like that last year (Animal Well and Tunic, to name a couple), and Lorelei definitely measures up. It might even be my favourite of the bunch because it’s got such a weird flavour to it, which aligns perfectly with my tastes. Somehow the cutscenes and story gave off a strong Killer7 vibe, even though the two games are nothing alike, and I deeply appreciate that.

I wholeheartedly give Lorelei and the Laser Eyes my stamp of approval and certify it as TE’s Game of the Month, January 2025. Not that that’s a thing I’m doing now.

Steam Year in Review: 2024

I won’t bore you with the nitty-gritty details of my Steam Year in Review report, but it did include this little graph that I thought would be fun to share:

So, according to Steam, these are the tags that come up most often in the games I play. At least, the PC games that I play. And I have to say, it’s pretty spot-on as far as my overall tastes go. Horror is kind of my jam when it comes to PC games, because that’s kind of where the indie horror scene lives. A decent amount trickles over to console, but not nearly the wealth that you’ll find on Steam or Itch.io or etc.

Metroidvanias are definitely what I was into in 2024, but mostly due to circumstance. See, I bought a metroidvania Humble Bundle in either late 2023 or early 2024, and well, time makes fools of us all. The action-adventure tag is usually-but not always-paired with metroidvanias, which explains why that one’s there too. Though I certainly can enjoy a good action-adventure that is not a metroidvania.

Now, the “female protagonist” tag is the most happenchance one of the bunch. I personally will never play or avoid a game solely based on the protagonist’s sex; it doesn’t matter to me in the least. But also, there’s no “male protagonist” tag on Steam, which is pretty darn sexist.

“Relaxing” kind of befuddled me, because the only game of the sort that I could remember playing in 2024 was Unpacking, and that was a three-hour game, so it couldn’t have been the only contributor. So I looked into it, and the answer is that I have a lot of PowerWash Simulator hours logged in 2024. Firewatch might count too; I’m not sure and I’m not going to look it up.

I don’t know how 3D platformer made it onto the graph. The only one I played on Steam in 2024 was Lunistice, and that’s another one that I wrapped in a single three-hour session. Realistically, this point should be higher on the graph, but a) 3D platformers are kind of rare these days and b) 3D platformers are definitely better played on console.

And that’s all I really have to say about that. I set my Year in Review page to be visible to the public, so if you’d like to take a gander at it for yourself, you should be able to find it here. If not… I don’t really know what to tell you.

Punching in the New Year

It’s 2025! And honestly, it’s going to be a pretty big year for me. I’ve been granted a big ol’ promotion to management at work, and before long I will have my very own swabbies to command. It’s going to be neat!

But really, what I came here to write about is Fitness Boxing: Fist of the North Star. I’ve been playing it somewhat obsessively lately, and yet I still know basically nothing about the manga that it’s based on. This game came out in early 2023, and while I did buy it day one, I only played it a bit before dropping it completely in favour of… I don’t know, getting fat, I guess.

When I picked it back up in October 2024, I only had like 20 stamps, which means I loaded it up on 20 different days. That’s not a lot for a game that I’ve owned for over two years, and I don’t really know how long I played on any of those days. I actually wish I had some metrics to prove it, but I’m pretty sure that I’ve (at least) doubled my total playtime over the last two months.

The fun part is that I was actually gifted Fitness Boxing 3 for Xmas, but I haven’t even installed it yet because I’m still so wrapped up in Fist of the North Star. That has spurred me on to play even more, with the intent of unlocking everything so that I can move onto the next game. I’m at 69% (nice) of achievements unlocked, which really means nothing because the first 40% or so were handed out like candy on Halloween and now the rest will take a looong time to earn. But that’s fine! This is exactly the kind of game that I should be grinding for achievements.

At the end of the day, I’m really just happy that I’ve settled myself into a very consistent training groove. I’m at the point where I actually look forward to exercising most days, which is saying a lot, as someone who used to call exercise “socially acceptable self-harm.” Between this and the whole promotion thing, I’m actually quite proud of myself lately. That’s not something that I ever expected to be.

2025, I think, is going to be a pretty good year.

Month End Video Game Wrap-Up: December 2024

~ Game Over ~

DEAD OR SCHOOL (PC) – I bought it because the title made me laugh out loud. Much to my surprise, it turned out to be a pretty enjoyable little hack ‘n’ slash. Could use a bit more polish, but it’s just the right difficulty level and I had a fun time playing it.

Ring Fit Adventure (Switch) – I’ve been making time to play this for an hour or so every Sunday for a couple months now, and I’ve finally, finally beaten the game on New Game+ mode. Now to start New Game++! Hopefully I’ll stick with it better this time around and finish it within 2025.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Rita’s Rewind (Switch) – A brand-spankin’ new arcade-style brawler that came out of nowhere and I purchased immediately. I have no regrets. While it could have used a little more time in the oven, it’s exactly what I both expected and hoped for.

Continue reading Month End Video Game Wrap-Up: December 2024

Meta horror

I played this game called Among Ashes last week. It’s a surprisingly good indie horror game, definitely one of the best of the year. A fantastic example of how video games can tell stories in ways that other media couldn’t even dream of.

I’d appreciate if you’d watch the let’s play I recorded of it (embedded below). But if you really can’t stand me (why are you here?), you should at least watch someone else’s let’s play of it. I truly believe that this game deserves more attention.

Or, you know, maybe even buy a copy. You cheap bastard.

TE Video: coming Soon (January 2025)

A new year is just around the corner, and with is comes a whole new programming schedule! I’m really excited for all the videos I have coming up, and doubly excited for absolutely nobody to watch them! Yay for time well spent!


Urayama (PC) – On Jan 2, we kick off the new year with a Japanese indie horror by a new (to me) developer, Yamoto. While it’s a bit rough around the edges, I had a great time playing it, and I think it’s a fun watch. Even with my commentary.

The Knight Witch (PC) – The last three episodes of this series go up on Jan 6, 13, and 20 respectively. If you haven’t been paying attention to it up to this point… well, I don’t think anything I can say is going to sell you on it.

Mario & Luigi: Brothership (Switch) – Part 8 goes live on Jan 4, with new episodes each following Saturday. I’ve kind of given up hope that anyone will care about this series, but I’m still going to see it through. At least it’s been fun for me!

DEAD OR SCHOOL (PC) – A game I had little faith in when starting, that I came to truly enjoy over time. The first three episodes of this long, long series will air on Jan 9, 23, and 30. Truth be told, at the time of this writing I’ve recorded 15 hour(ish)-long episodes and there’s no end in sight. This bad boy’s gonna be running all year.

Can’t Revert (PC) – Another indie horror on Jan 16, but this one is bad. It’s a very PT-style “walk through the same apartment over and over as scary things happen” kind of game, but with an incredibly overused plot and a bad chase sequence at the end. Still, not the worst game I’ve played recently!

9 Years of Shadows (PC) – Another metroidvania to carry on after The Knight Witch ends, this one starts on Jan 27. It’s a little more of a standard metroidvania, but with a very cool element-switching mechanic and a tenuous link to Greek mythology. I really liked this one, and I hope this series gets even one person to buy the game!