So, okay. Nintendo teases a new something-or-other a couple mornings ago. This is a week after the Mini Direct, so it’s… weird. The first word that comes to mind is weird. Because why hold a separate thing for a single thing when you just did a big fancy thing for a bunch of things just a week before?

Oh. Because it’s something completely different.

Enter Nintendo Labo. What it is, as far as I can surmise, is a bunch of accessories for your Switch that make the games that go with them more immersive. Basically a much crazier extension of the whole Wiimote idea. The difference here is that all these accessories are made of cardboard, and you get to pop out the pieces and assemble them yourself. So now Nintendo is selling large-scale papercraft to accessorize their games with.

My knee-jerk reaction was something along the lines of “this is going to be an even bigger money sink than regular video games and also it’ll be a heck of a lot of cardboard clutter.” Actually, I think that’s still pretty on-point for how I feel about Labo a few days later. Only now I know the price of these Labo kits and LOLOLOL no way José. $100 for the starter kit? There’s no friggin’ way.

That’s not to say that I don’t think this is kind of neat. I could see myself buying into Labo anywhere as recently as five years ago. Heck, I’m sure that as I kid I would have died for these overpriced cardboard gimmicks. But now, I just don’t have the money or space to care (huh, exactly why I can’t care about VR). Plus, we still really have no idea what the games are going to be like. Labo is being marketed directly at actual children, so I’m thinking these are going to be pretty simple affairs. It’s not like I’m ever going to need a cardboard Master Sword to play the next Legend of Zelda.

What I think would make the whole thing more attractive -and it’s something that Nintendo (specifically) would never do- would be to make the Labo software free, and just charge more reasonable prices for the cardboard kits. Kids are going to ruin that stuff and need to buy replacement kits, so it’ll still be a fountain of income if consumers take to the idea. Unless, of course, the software is perfectly usable without the accessories, in which case that idea falls apart completely.

Anyway, those are my brief thoughts on Labo. Frankly, I don’t much care. But that’s okay. It’s not meant for me. I think it’ll probably be great for those who are interested in it.

But then again, it’s me. So don’t be surprised if I write up a post about how I love my new Labo Toy-Cons on the day after launch.

Many, many years ago, there was a little-know game released on the Wii. That game was called Xenoblade. It released in both Japan and Europe to little fanfare, but really got noticed because Nintendo of America decided to pass on it until years later they finally caved to the pressure of a bunch of nerds on the internet and the slightly-renamed Xenoblade Chronicles became a pretty solid hit in North America. Personally, I loved the game. Maybe not one of my all-time favourites, but I liked it enough to buy the New 3DS port that came out a few years after.

Then in 2015, Xenoblade Chronicles X was released. It fine-tuned the combat system from the first game, cut down the amount of story (while retaining the completely insane twists), and gave you one massive, seamless world to explore. Most importantly, not only did it let you go wherever you wanted whenever you wanted, it let you do that while piloting giant flying mechs. Also, those giant flying mechs could be painted to look like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Basically what I’m saying here is that XCX is absolutely one of my favourite video games. But a lot of other people didn’t like it because it wasn’t focused on story. Weirdos. Go figure.

Despite having truly adored the first two games, I felt a sense of unease about Xenoblade Chronicles 2. As Nintendo revealed more and more about the game, it became clear that they were dialing back all the things that I felt made XCX more enjoyable than the original game. It was going to be more story-driven; the world would be divided between distinct areas again; no more flying mechs! As much as I liked XC1, there was no question that I liked XCX’s direction for the Xenoblade series a heck of a lot more.

But now XC2 has been out for two weeks, and I almost literally cannot stop playing it (I took a break to play a few hours of Yooka-Laylee). So I guess everything turned out for the best!

The thing about Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is that while it lost a lot of what I enjoyed about XCX, it does an amazing job of improving everything that was great about XC1. The combat system is significantly better, character customization is incredibly deep, the environments are a joy to explore, and the graphics are just… holy cow does this world ever look amazing! So yes, while I was wary of the game at first, it has absolutely won me over and carved out a place in my heart.

I want to say that the story is better too, and it was pretty good up until Chapter 4 when it decided to crank the “anime tropes” dial up to eleven.

XC2 is an incredibly complicated game, layered with systems upon systems that will turn your brain to mush if you try to figure them all out at once. Thankfully, the game does a really nice job of integrating features in slowly, so that you have time to learn about any given feature before the next one becomes a factor. And despite the overwhelming complexity, it all operates surprisingly smoothly. All the different combat systems flow together so nicely. I especially like how the Town Development system rewards you with not only better buying/selling prices, but fun little permanent character upgrades. It’s a very enticing reward for the low, low price of completing quests and talking to townsfolk. Much more satisfying than a handful of gold or some garbage item that you’d turn around and sell right away (though they still give those out as well).

As far as I can tell, one of the most controversial parts of XC2 so far is how you go about acquiring Blades. These are essentially your weapons, though they are personified with their own skills, element, and… weapon. You create new Blades by using core crystals, which come in common and rare varieties. Regardless of which kind you use, you’ll most often be getting generic robot-looking Common Blades who have generic personalities and little in the way of abilities. What you really want are the Rare Blades, each one uniquely designed and bursting with character and helpful skills. Sadly, they are actually very rare, and you might burn through dozens of crystals before you get one. Completionists hate the random aspect of it, but I actually quite like the idea that it makes every game somewhat unique. Almost like Pokémon, although they won’t change your battle strategy quite that much. The only truly frustrating part is when you need a specific skill but you can’t roll a Blade that knows it to save your life.

I have to say that there is one major (non mech-related) flaw with the game though: you can no longer play dress-up with your characters. LAME. What is the point of anything, if I can’t have Rex running around in boxer shorts? Both previous games have tons of clothing/armor options. The latest Zelda, Mario, and Pokémon games all give your characters massive wardrobes. Why did it get cut here?

Anyway, I am maybe halfway through the main plot of this massive game, and I can’t wait to spend every minute of my free time for the next few weeks really digging deep into it. Will I feel quite as positive about it by the end? Or will it lose its lustre two-thirds of the way through like many RPGs? Most importantly, will the story up the ante for stupidly wonderful/wonderfully stupid story twists? That’s what I really want to know. It’s like I always say: the dumber the better!

Ever since the fall of the Xbox 360, I barely play game demos any more. Mostly because they just don’t seem to put out as many as before. Or maybe I’m just crazy. It seemed like every XBLA game had a demo, which I really miss now. Though if every indie game on Switch had a demo, and I played them all, I’d no longer have any time for full games. (The implication is that there are lots of indies on Switch)

I did download and play a demo for a new indie game on Switch last night, though. It’s called Nine Parchments, made by the same guys who did the Trine games. Which I never played. Anyway, I decided to give Nine Parchments a shot because it looked a whole lot like Gauntlet Legends. As you may or may not recall, Gauntlet Legends has a very special place in my heart and I am constantly on the lookout for more modern games that fill that same niche.

Sadly, I find myself stuck on the fence about whether or not Nine Parchments is for me. There are a lot of things about it that I like! But something about it doesn’t feel quite right, you know? It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what, but I’ll circle back around to that later.

Starting up the demo was a hard first strike for the game. You’re given two character options, both of which are unattractive. You either pick doofy wizard boy, or wizard girl with a way-too-poofy cloak. I ended up going with the girl because her spell loadout seemed better. She got a Death Beam, a Lightning Blast, and a Healing Circle. I don’t know if those are the actual names, but I’m pretty sure my names at least make it clear what each one does.

After you pick a character, you also get to choose a hat and a staff. Being the demo, I wasn’t allowed to use any of either, but there are tons of options for each. I won’t lie, the idea of collecting them all got me a little hard. Then you have to go through a boring tutorial stage that is literally just walking forward for two minutes and hitting four targets with a magic spell. You can look at some books to make little tips appear, but meeeeeeh.

Once you get into the actual demo stage, things take a turn for the better. It’s a lush beach world with all sorts of vividly-coloured plants and corals, and it’s just beautiful. The character design may be off-putting, but the backgrounds are gorgeous. Being the demo, this stage is also pretty straightforward. You hop down a couple ledges, but mostly it’s just walking to the right as you kill off any monsters in your way. Apparently there were hidden treasures and baubles that I missed, so there are likely some well-hidden paths somewhere. Anyway, given that characters can jump and warp-dash, I’m expecting that later levels will have some more complex layouts and possibly even platforming challenges.

Following the main stage, you’re treated to a boss encounter, and I’ve got to say that it was a heck of a lot less annoying than the bosses in Gauntlet Legends. It was not overpowered, it didn’t have way too much HP, and I didn’t need a special item to hack off a third of its life. Actually, if anything, it was too easy. It alternated between two attacks, which were easy enough to dodge on their own, but made the field a little harder to navigate because their effects lingered for a while. So it was a pretty decent boss while I played solo, though it likely would have gone down in about five seconds flat with four players blasting it all at once.

What I don’t like about Nine Parchments is that its combat is entirely magic-based, and you have a mana limit for each spell. So instead of just attacking forever, you’ll attack until your mana is depleted, swap to your next spell, fire that off until it’s empty, and then repeat. Mana refills automatically, but it’s still a bit of an annoyance that you have attack limits. Especially since regular monsters seem to have about twice as much HP as they should. I should mention that your guy does have a weak little punch attack too, but it’s basically worthless.

Now, I think what really turns me off about the game, and it’s probably the most subjective part of this whole spiel, is the enemy distribution. What I liked about Gauntlet Legends is that you’re one man against screenfuls of monsters. You chop through them all in one or two hits, but there are so many, and they spawn forever until you find and explode the hole they’re pouring out of. It’s generally mindless, but I find that it’s a great way to kick back and have some good old-fashioned arcade-style fun. Nine Parchments, however, sees fit to just toss two or three monsters in at a time, each of them with the previously mentioned twice as much health as necessary. And by twice as much, I mean roughly seven seconds of a sustained Death Beam, whatever that equals out to. And that’s just the measly little goblin guys. Yeah, that problem will be mitigated by having even one other player, but it’s still just not as fun to blast your way through the monster hordes when said “horde” is three monsters at a time.

So I’m squarely on the fence about this one. Nine Parchments seems like a fine game, but it’s not quite what I’m looking for. I can see myself enjoying it, but on the other hand, Hammerwatch comes out on Switch tomorrow, and that game is exactly what I’m looking for. I think I enjoyed playing Hammerwatch on PC even more than I did the 2014 Gauntlet reboot. Nine Parchments is also a whopping $25 to Hammerwatch’s much more appealing $12, so. Maybe I’ll eventually give Nine Parchments a go, but it’s not going to be in 2017. Having people to play with would be nice too, but hey, we all know that I don’t really do the whole “friends” thing.