Teenage Martian Ninja Turtles

I don’t know if anyone but me keeps up with this kind of stuff, but there’s a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie in production. It’s actually just called “Ninja Turtles,” which is kind of a strange departure from the norm, but I suppose it helps to streamline a title that’s a bit of a mouthful, as well as define it from other works that use the whole title.

The big news about this one though, is that it’s being produced by Michael Bay, and he’s changing the lore so that the turtles are aliens instead of mutants. The fan community is in an uproar, with hateful letters to Bay flying left and right. You might think that being the TMNT fanboy that I am, I would be pushing my way to the front of this spiteful bandwagon. In fact, I am not. At first I wasn’t ready to believe it, but after spending a good hour or so reading what we know about this film so far, I’m not too worried about the change.

I will admit that I do worry about how Bay is going to handle the Turtles otherwise. He’s not exactly a man who understands the concept of “subtlety” and that’s kind of the whole point of ninjas. Overall though, I trust him to keep mostly in line with where the franchise should be. I really loved the reboots of Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street, even if they did take themselves a little too seriously. TMNT is a fairly light-hearted franchise, so I’m really just hoping that it’s not all grimacing and dull colour palettes. Even the grim black-and-white comic book Turtles lighten up and start cracking wise after the first couple issues.

Anyway, the alien turtles thing. It’s a little ridiculous, but I can’t imagine that it would change the story that much. It’s been confirmed that the Turtles will be the same characters we all know and love, so does their origin really matter? I’ll admit that I had reservations about it at first, but sitting down and really assessing the situation cooled off my terror gauge pretty quickly. Especially given the fact that Eastman and Laird have both been privy to a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that the general public doesn’t have access to yet, and they’re both pretty optimistic about the project. Their direct involvement seems to be limited, but as long as they’re showing upturned thumbs, I believe that everything will turn out alright.

The other thing you really have to consider is that there are plenty of other franchises that have been rebooted or otherwise completely rebuilt that have worked out for the best. In my case, I am thinking explicitly about the Silent Hill series. Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, if you want to get really specific. Aside from names, Harry’s line of progression through the town, and the general atmosphere of unease, there really isn’t all that much in common between it and the original Silent Hill. And that was okay! Though Shattered Memories changes nearly everything about the game it is inspired by, I have room enough in my heart for both, because they are both quality products. Yes, someone went in and changed a story that I am very familiar with and treasure as a part of my personal development, but they did a really good job of it! Who’s to say that Michael Bay can’t do the same by altering a mostly irrelevant part of the Turtles lore?

“But… they’re from space!” you may scream like a moron on fire. Yes, they are. Did you know that in the original TMNT lore, the mutagen that made the Turtles into what they are was from space? Kinda makes the transition seem a little less like a major shift than just cutting out the middle man. Yeah, yeah, I know there was none of that in your 80’s cartoon or 90’s movies, but that’s the straight dope. And consider those too; this isn’t the first time a production studio has taken creative liberties with the Turtles’ lore. Hell, the 80’s cartoon took all sorts of wacky departures from Turtles canon, so I think it’ll be okay here. Even worse is that most people (fools) believe that cartoon to be the Turtles canon because it was the most mainstream iteration of the TMNT.

So I guess what I’m saying here is not to make any snap judgements. Yes, the Turtles are going to be from space. It’s not a huge departure from the original lore, so stop saying that the upcoming movie is “sodomizing your childhood.” You’re being nitpicky dumbasses. We don’t really know anything about this movie yet, and odds are that it will be pretty good. As long as it doesn’t take and inspiration from The Next Mutation, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. If it does turn out to be awful, I really doubt it will be because the Turtles came from space. There are much more important places for you to direct your hate: maybe send some towards that retarded-looking Battleship movie for existing. And for casting Rihanna. God, I hate Rihanna.

Scouted

So one of our branches decided to start up a soccer league within the company. While I declined the opportunity to play, I was also selected to design and draw the “jerseys” for their team, The Ron Burgundys. This offer I was happy to accept.

This isn’t the whole thing, but it’s most of the logo. My rough drafts were a little more ambitious than the final product, but that’s mostly because t-shirts (and I assume all manners of clothing) are ridiculously hard to draw on. I’m pretty satisfied with the final results; hopefully the team likes my work as much as I do.

The thing I’m really digging is that I’m becoming something of a go-to guy for low-profile art projects at work. It’s not exactly the fame and fortune I once hoped my “skill” would bring me, but I certainly can’t complain. People are asking me do draw things for them because they enjoy my work. I like it. The really nice thing is that no matter how crappy I think my output is, everyone is really supportive and tells me it’s great. Maybe it doesn’t push me to improve like criticism sometimes does (usually it just makes me want to give up forever), but it sure makes me feel better about myself.

Look what I did

Yup. I was so excited about Super Talking Time Bros 2 that I decided to Let’s Play it. Blind. The way I see it, those dudes at Talking Time (and me, slightly) worked so hard on it and were really looking forward to someone LPing it, so it’s time I give a little back to the community. One video in and I already love it; I cannot wait to see the surprises that it has in store for me!

(Let’s Play MegaMan X will resume as normal on Sunday.)

Christmas in May

Hey you guys! Super Talking Time Bros 2 is out! Get it from this page!

I had totally forgotten about this little project a long time ago. I kind of randomly thought about it on the bus this morning and there it is! It’s too bad though; since I let it go completely, I never really sat down and polished the three levels I submitted for it. Hopefully someone else on the team cleaned up at least anything that was broken in them.

If you’re going to play it, make sure you head over to the Talking Time thread and tell the kids there how much you like it.

In other news, I should have internet again by the time I get home, so no more lunchtime phone-blogging for me! Hooray!

Let’s not play Megaman X

Having just moved into a new house,  I don’t have any internet set up yet. It’s something I hope to have rectified within the week, but for now my blogging ability its quite limited. I am also unable to upload videos to YouTube, so there will be no Let’s Play Megaman X today, children. I know how you’re all just so into it, but you’ll have to wait a week.

Boomba latty

Things are going swimmingly for me right now. Work is great, the wedding is coming along, and I love my house. On that last note, we did a phenomenal job of getting everything moved into the house. Thanks to the help of a handful of incredibly dedicated family members, we got everything we own moved in in just two days. Of course, anything that isn’t furniture is still stuffed away in boxes (aside from the Wii), but I think that the wife-to-be and I are going to have a lot of fun getting everything unpacked. I enjoyed the process of getting all my crap boxed away, so I can only imagine that getting it back out is going to be just as fun, if not more.

The only facet of my life that isn’t perfect right now is my weight, and considering how everything else is working out, I really shouldn’t be complaining about it. But my health is important!

It’s not really that I’m terribly unhealthy. I’m in fairly good shape for someone with a gut the size of mine, and it’s that gut specifically that’s the problem. Try as I might, I just cannot drop the weight. I’ve been doing really good lately too! I’ve slowed my sugar intake significantly, and have been making a solid effort at getting more fruit and veggies into my diet.

I’ve been getting regular exercise too, which I hear is important. I walk up and down four floors worth of stairs several times a day, and walk back and forth three blocks to and from my bus stop. I try to go out for a walk two or three times a week, as long as the weather is decent. I’ve even been spending about half an hour a day playing Just Dance 3, at least five days a week. It works up quite a sweat, and it’s the closest thing I’ve found yet to a truly fun way to exercise.

There’s a barely visible Cadbury Creme Egg under my monitor stand at work, and it’s been there for almost a month now. There was a time, not too long ago, where that thing wouldn’t have even lasted a day. But it’s there. Partly as a testament to self-control, and partly because I’m often too busy to remember it’s there.

All of this effort is for naught though, because since the last time I weighed myself I have actually put on weight. And it’s not muscle either, because I’ve just been doing cardio and aerobics as far as exercise goes. Sometimes I play with the 10-pound dumbbells, but not in any way that would build any serious muscle mass. So I don’t know what to do. Maybe the fat is just waiting to drop off after a while, but I’ve been doing this thing for well over a month now. I would like to see at least some small results.

And all this work because 70% of my wardrobe looks awful when stretched around my belly. I don’t even care about being trim for the wedding; I just want to be able to wear my Goonies t-shirt without being embarrassed.

/venting

Xenotales

I have to say that so far, I’m really digging Xenoblade Chronicles‘ story. At the base level, it’s pretty much the same as any other JRPG on the market (youth goes on adventure to save the world), but there are other layers! And characters that seem like they might develop and grow over the course of the story! We’ll have to see, but so far so good.

The basic plot string, like I said, is pretty basic. It’s only a frame though, and it’s covered in plenty of interesting dressings. Most notably the world design. And I do mean world design, as the entirety of the Xenoblade world exists on the lifeless bodies of two gigantic monsters: Bionis and Mechonis. If you have even an inkling of video game intuition, you’ll have already surmised that one is home to a natural world, and the other a cold, mechanical land. Obviously the heroes live on the Bionis, because who wants to play a game where the protagonists are soulless machines?

Now, the denizens of each world don’t get along too well. The game’s prologue takes place a year before the actual story events, during a massive war between the worlds. The game’s antagonistic force, the Mechon, continue to attack the settlements on the Bionis throughout the game and seem to want nothing more to snack on the Homs (human) population. Why machines need to eat people has not been explained yet, but it’s certainly a twist on the “evil robots” trope.

The other great thing that happens right at the beginning of the game so it’s not a spoiler is that the main character’s love interest gets brutally murdered. Its shocking and completely unexpected. This is mere moments after he gains the ability to view glimpses of the future, and watches her die in one of these visions. Having spent my life playing video games and watching movies, I was positive that he would jump in to save her at the last minute, but no. So let’s recap: hero watches love interest die in a vision, she is impaled and eaten (off-screen – this is key), and he has to sit and watch her die again. Many heroes start their journeys in the name of vengeance, but I can’t recall one that had to watch the same loved one die twice.

Unfortunately, unless you’re completely clueless, you’ll catch on very quickly that she didn’t actually die and she’ll be back in your party eventually. The narrative never hints at this, but monsters keep dropping weapons for her, and there are several character-specific achievements that you can’t possibly get until long after she dies.

The other thing I’ve really enjoyed about Xenoblade’s story is that main character, Shulk. Yes, he has a silly name, but he’s pretty cool! He’s not at all your generic plucky JRPG hero. No, Shulk may be a youth out to save the world, but that’s about all he’s got on common with the standard hero archetype. First of all, Shulk’s got a job. A real job. He’s not an errand boy or a monster hunter, he’s a scientist. We’re given the impression that before the events of the game, he would spend hours upon hours in his lab either building things or doing research.

At the outset of the game, Shulk has a little combat experience because his profession requires him to salvage wrecked Mechon pieces from the wilds surrounding Colony 9.  Most of the time he’s accompanied by his friend Reyn, who is a hulk of a man that is enlisted in the Colony 9 Defense Force. Many characters voice their lack of faith in Shulk’s battle prowess (in as nice a way as they can), and are constantly telling Reyn to protect him.  This kind of goes away once Shulk acquires his super-sword, the Monado, which is also the source of his visions of the future. It’s a little sad, because Shulk’s character is not that of a world-class fighter, but what can you do? The action cutscenes wouldn’t be nearly as exciting if he just stood there and let his friends do all the fighting.

Inconsequential but relevant is the fact that Shulk is rumoured not to have tastebuds. In a genre where most heroes spend more time thinking about food than the task at hand, having no sense of taste is a very unique character trait.

As I’d mentioned before, Shulk’s motivation for going out into the world is revenge. Sweet, delicious revenge. Not new, as tons and tons of media have revenge as a central theme. Only most of the time, the main character doesn’t aspire to fight an entire world. Yes, the Mechon are terrible, people-eating monster robots, but what makes this boy think that genocide is the answer? And what make him think he can do it? I don’t know, but he sets a goal for himself and consistently marches toward it.

In this way, he is both very similar to and very different from Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII. They’re both motivated by their anger at the loss of a loved one, and they both set out on a fight against an entire world. The difference is that Lightning not only uses that anger to drive herself, but she also lets it consume her completely. She is more than willing to take on the world alone, and is happy to leave behind anyone who is slowing her down. She is entirely confident that she can accomplish her goal and has the skills to back up that confidence. Shulk is the other side of the coin: he’s driven by anger, but is more than willing to accept the help of his friends, even if it means stopping for a while to help them out with their own problems. He is also much less confident in his own abilities; even though he has the power to see and change the future, he has trouble believing that he can save individual lives, never mind the lives of everyone living on the Bionis.

There’s one thing I really don’t like though. I’m at a point in the game where characters are beginning to suggest that Shulk is the chosen bearer of the Monado. I did a big ol’ facepalm the first time the word “chosen” was spoken. Aren’t we a little past the stupid “chosen one” story hook? There has to be another way. Lighting and her companions were chosen, yes, but it was because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, not because it was their destiny. I guess it’s not the worst way to write a character, but I much prefer heroes that are heroes because they had the strength to make a difference, not because it was written in the stars.

I don’t feel like I’m that far into the story yet though, so I really have no idea how things are going to turn out. There have been a couple plot “twists” already that I saw coming before there was even any foreshadowing, so it could go either way. Maybe the game will continue to surprise and delight me, or maybe it’ll pull all its punches from here on in and become just another generic JRPG. I’m hoping for the best.