Category: Video Games

I’m always late

Continuing September’s StarFox mania, I finally got around to finding a working ROM of the StarFox 2 beta, patching it, and playing it. You know, because everyone keeps saying that they pretty much based StarFox Command on it. So that’s totally true. Except for Command has so much more to it. Mini-review below.

The first thing you’re going to notice about StarFox 2 is that you move around the galaxy map freely, and not as you complete levels. You’ll also notice enemies flitting about. Since your job is to protect Corneria and blow up Andross’ base, and they’re on opposite ends of the galaxy, things are going to get a little frantic. So you fly around, and when you come in contact with an enemy fighter, battleship, or occupied planet, you’ll go into battle mode. Which, basically means not the map.

The problem here is that the SNES’ 3D powers are kinda weak and flying around full 3D space is very disorienting. Once you get used to it though, it’s kinda fun. Planets and battleships are less of a problem, obviously. The main objective of said battle mode is to shoot down whatever it is you came in contact with, or destroy the enemy bunker, if you’re on a planet. Bosses will (seemingly) randomly show up on the map screen to challenge, and they’re really just an extended version of the basic enemy fighter battles; bigger weapons and longer lifebars.

One of the really cool things about StarFox 2 is that on planets, you can transform your arwing into a bipedal robot. It’s a little easier to control and aim with, and makes the fighter mode seem dull. There are also three different arwing models to choose from, each with it’s own strenghts, weaknesses, and special weapons, which means your game can be easier or harder depending on your craft.

The downside to the game is that there’s only the one “mission” to play. It gets really exciting/challenging on Expert mode, but after playing so much of Command, it seems a little lacking. Compared to the original StarFox, however, it seems to be on par. They also give you your mission stats and ranking when you finish the game, and the game even keeps track of your records. Really, it’s a shame that StarFox 2 was never (officially) released, because it’s an exceptionally neat game, and I think I might have spent even more hours on this one than I did on the original if I’d had access to it as a kid. I’d say Nintendo should refine it and release it on the Wii’s Virtual Console, but really, they’ve already done it with Command.

Burnin’ like wildfire

Okay, a couple things to sort out today. Firstly, I’ve completed this week’s comics for Coozy For Hire. You still have to wait to see them, but I think they’re some of the best yet. CFH’s for both art and writing, and Spare! because it’s beautiful and involves StarFox.

Secondly, this is the greatest thing ever. The fact that it’s actually in the game’s code is awesome, and I hope that the next time Nintendo re-releases OoT, they put it somewhere for everyone to see.

And the last thing I need to note is that… Um. I seem to have forgotten what it was. It wasn’t important then. But holy crap, I just realized that I started the last seven blog posts with the word “so.” Somebody get me a fucking thesaurus. Or a professional writing class of some sort. Oh, and also I did the whole MySpace thing. I’m such a whore.

So stop what you’re doing

So the topic of Final Fantasy XII came up today over at the Penny Arcade. Surely if you’ve been following it at all, you know all about this Gambit system they’re poking fun at. Now, this normally wouldn’t merit my attention, but it creates a huge anomaly in my game philosophy.

See, I don’t like conventional RPGs all that much (except Pokémon. I love Pokémon). Something about choosing your actions from a menu just doesn’t click with me. The aforementioned Gambit system serves to further sever the link between gamer and game, and yet it makes me thirst for the game so badly. I mean, I played the demo and liked it, what with it lacking random battles and all, even if it was a little awkward to learn. Even the story piqued my interest to a high degree, and I’m one who commonly berates others who “play for the story.” The thing is, either the Gambit system wasn’t there, or I didn’t notice it or I didn’t use it properly or something, because there was no “programming my guys,” to be seen. And now that I hear about it, and the depth at which I can set up my peoples, my desire for the game is only intensified.

So yeah, it’s kind of wierd. Maybe I’ll go play the demo again in hopes that I can convince myself it’s just as bad as all the other FF games, but I doubt it’ll work. It’s set in Ivalice after all. And we all know that nothing related to FF Tactics, Advance or otherwise, can truly be bad.

Give something new a try

So I sat down today and wrote out an article. I’ve been meaning to do it for about two months now, but that’s by no stetch the longest I’ve ever had an article waiting to be written. I still have a lot in the backlog, and I guess I should do some soon, because I think they might be breeding.

I also updated the CD collection on Friday, but never got around to making the news post to announce it. I also couldn’t get the CSS to work right for the updated page links, so you’ll have to consult the “last update” callout to see what’s what. I guess I could tell you here, but I feel like being an ass and leaving it up to you.

I have a feeling September might be a little slower than the last couple months have been. I’m going through my “I don’t even want to think about the internet” phase right now, so we’ll see what happens.

Ooh, and I rented Clock Tower 3. Wow. I definitely should have played it before Haunting Ground, that’s all I’ve got to say. Though I might never have given Haunting Ground a chance if I’d played CT3 first. Who knows? Either way, I recommend both for the high levels of cheezy horror. You might just want to watch someone play CT3 though. It’s not so good when you’re actually playing it.

No time to talk

Ugh. So as kind of expected, I blew the driving test. Not too badly, though, and I should be able to pass easily next time. When that next time is going to happen, I have no idea. Given my penchant for procrastinating, probably not too soon. I also had a job interview yesterday, which was sweet. I doubt I’m going to get hired, but it was nice to at least get an interview. Those are rare.

I don’t have much in the way of links today, but I suggest checking out The Top Eleven Best Arch-Nemeses

I said I’d talk about StarFox Command on the off chance that I bought it, and quite frankly, I seem to have a problem saying no to StarFox. That’s not such a bad thing though. Command is almost as good as StarFox 64, even though it deviates from the formula quite a bit. All the flying is done in free-range areas, maning no on-rails levels. A shame, because I love those kind of levels, but I’m not going to complain. The things that do put me off are A)you’re always on a timer, and B) there’s very little variety as far as objectives go. Either you’re hunting down a specific enemy type, or you’re going up against a boss. The formula could use a little more, but it’s still fun.

The new thing in this game is that for each stage, you actually have a tactical map to move your Arwings through, collecting items, encountering enemies, and liberating bases along the way. It sounded dumb in previews, but I actually really like how it works out. You even get to control all your pilots (who switch in and out during the story) independently, and each one has a unique ship and theme music. It all works out really well, and I most definitely suggest you pick this one up if you have a DS. I haven’t even gotten around to playing mulitplayer yet, and I think that says a good amount about how good the single-player game is.

Just to watch it burn

Busy week here in Ryan Land. Tomorrow is what I like to call D-Day (as in Driving Test Day). I don’t know how well that’ll go, but here’s hoping it won’t get too ugly. I’m pretty confident, but it’s mostly false confidence. Which I’m told is a character flaw. But is it really false confidence if I know it’s false? The perplexity of it all makes my head hurt.

I also have to head back to the dentist on Thursday so that he can fuck around some more in my facehole. Getting a filling isn’t nearly as bad as some have made it out to be, but I could most certainly be doing more enjoyable things with my morning.

Nextly, it’s a pretty big week for Coozy For Hire. Along with the regularly scheduled comic on Thursday, we’ve got our 1st year celebration on Friday, which will come with a free bonus comic. And to top it off, the second episode of Spare! hits on Saturday, so you’re going to be getting three comic days in a row. Just nuts I tell you. Fortunately, I had most of them done early (though now my buffer is totally used up and I have to start drawing again). Not to mention, our traffic is steadily increasing every month, and that’s very reassuring. I imagined that this little project would flop long before the year mark. I even have some juicy tidbits for you: firstly, the comics up until at least the second week of October are gold. Secondly, I’m working on a new feature, but I’m not sure if it’s going to work out. It’s for a very minor audience anyway, so I doubt it’ll matter in the end.

StarFox Command hit yesterday, and I want it, but I’m a little wary. The whole “command the missons” junk is a little off-putting, but I think WiFi dogfights would easily make it worth buying even if single player is a miss. I’ll make sure to log my thoughts about it if I do decide to pick it up.

Keep an eye on RainbowPuke.com. I recently submitted a piece. It’ll likely appear once a third page is posted, and you’ll likely be able to tell it’s mine. Cause it has my name on it.

Due to my recent CD acquisitions, I will have to update at least one page in the CD Collection. I’ll also be adding a new page by the end of the week. Not many short ones left, either. B, Q, and S in particular are ones I’m not at all looking forward to doing.

After all this, I think it’s pretty much understood that I’m not going to be doing much on the article front this week.

Look at the hottie in the tight jeans

I watched The Bechwarmers the other night. It was surprisingly good. I mean, it’s not something I would buy, but I’ll recommend renting it. Dick and fart jokes, plenty of slapstick, and mucho vomit. Exactly what I look for in a dumb movie. Plus a bunch of good names. I’m not a huge Rob Schneider fan, but he, David Spade and Jon Heder do a commendable job on this one.

Bought me a buttload of CDs over the last couple days. Four, actually, but I defy you to load your butt with more than four CDs. Bad Religion’s The Empire Strikes First is fan-frickin-tastic, and Thrice’s Red Sky EP headbutts women in the ovaries for fun. The other two (Resident Evil Soundtrack, OK Go’s Oh No) are less notable, but I like them enough to have bought them. I also finally found a copy of The Alpahbet of Manliness. Needless to say, it’s the best book I’ve read since… Well, probably ever.

Lastly for today, I will wipe any doubt that I don’t kick major ass from your mind. Behold:

click for king-size

Frankly, “Bark At The Moon” was a bitch, but otherwise, I think I’m getting pretty good. I’m not going anywhere near Expert mode though. Not until I five-star everything on Hard, at least. It literally frightens me.

What’s the matter with you?

Stumbled onto a sizeabe deposit of twenty-spots earlier today. One almost large enough to fund an XBox 360. But there are far more important uses for those twenties, so Dead Rising will have to wait.

In other news, my brother showed me the greatest candies ever; Ice Breakers Sours.

There totally isn’t enough to talk about here to write a whole article, so I’m gonna constrain it to the blog. The thesis here is that these are friggin’ awesome candies. While they go under the guise of mints, I’m going to be referring to these as candies, beacuse quite frankly, they have all the properties of candy, and very few semblances to mints.

Let’s get the obvious bit over with, they taste awesome. Coming in either “berry” or “fruit” varieties, Ice Breakers Sours taste like scoring with your friend’s hot sister. So awesome. They’re called sour, and I’m not a big fan of sour, but they’re not so bad. The whole sour bit lasts about four seconds, and you’re just left with sweet candy taste. The first time I ate one, the sour hit me hard, then faded away into the delicious berry taste that I could only describe as “happiness.”

They’re got a pretty good texture to them, being shaped and smooth like Sweet Tarts. They’re about as hard as Sweet Tarts too, but they crumble very nicely once you bite into them.

Ice Breakers Sours are officially regarded as mints, but they certianly don’t act like mints. Yes, their strong flavour will linger in your mouth for a while, but it doesn’t last long enough to be put to any serious breath-freshening use. They cost a pretty penny, though, which is common for top-tier mints, like these and Altoids. It’s damned hard to resist eating them like candy too. You know, the whole delicious thing playing a part there.

Overall, I stand firmly behind my opinion that Ice Breakers Sours rule. One might even say they’re crumbelievable.

Never turn your back on it

Yep. I know I didn’t post an article last week. And so the streak ends. It was a good run though. Anyhow, I’ve been at the cottage for the last four days, and damn did I get a lot accomplished. Most importantly, I learned to bake pie. This is probably going to end up a bad thing though, because now I can create pie whenever I want, and it’ll likely be my downfall. Secondly, I finished Kingdom Hearts 2 with a 100% completion rate. It was a bitch, but I did it. I’m proud of myself. And the game was pretty awesome too. A little easy due to Forms being totally broken, but fun no less. So now, links!

The Top Ten Unmanliest Superheroes

Your Band Name Sucks: 50 of the Inexcusably Worst

The truthiness about bears

My new favourite video ever (NSFW)

This is a little entertaining. Kinda.

IGN Wii’s Retro Remix takes a look at Earthbound