Category: Video Games

That was a beaut

Remember when I went nuts over the prospect of Biker Mice From Mars on DS? Trailer! While it certainly looks like it could be good, they really need to inject some, oh, I dunno, action into it. Not a whole lot going on there.

Help name a bridge after Stephen Colbert! We’re still a long way off, so go get voting, you dummy.

Best internet mashup video ever. Even better than all those Zidane headbutt collections. There must be dancing!

I know I’m really late on this one, but if you haven’t seen the PS3 vs. Wii vid yet, hurry up. Hot chicks in boy shorts are always excellent promotional tools.

After just over a week of being under repair (felt like forever though), Tyler’s back!

I finally got my hands on Remastered Tracks Rockman Zero 4: Physis. I heartily approve! Even the drama tracks (which are diaogue explaining the story, and entirely in Japanese) are pretty cool. Sample, anyone? (right-click, save as)

TE is on… Super Smash TV!

[Editor’s Note: This was riginally written as a guest article. I changed some obvious phrases, but it something doens’t make sense, just keep that in mind]

Now it’s a bit odd, but I decided that I m posting an article here when it was intended to be a guest article for another site. Weird, no? Well that’s the way it’s going to be, and you’re going to have to deal with it. I ran out of time, and it’s the only backup I had left. Sure this contains very little of the brilliance of my regular articles, but it shall be something to read nonetheless. The pictures are as well low-budget, as I don’t want to take the time to take screenshots if I’m not even doing this seriously, so I just stole them from a Google image search.

This review is obviously (as long as you took the time to read the link and the title) about the game Super Smash TV. It’s a game that I really enjoy, and was playing a lot for a while back in October. The game is very simplistic, as it is derived from an arcade game of a similar name. While the arcade version might have a few extra scenes and (slightly) better looking models (I think, I only glanced at one screenshot. In the console version, they look like ugly men.), there probably isn’t a whole lot of difference between the two.

The game is basically you and possibly a friend running around a maze, killing hordes of enemies and picking up a bunch of prizes along the way. It’s set up as some sort of futuristic game show, and I think it’s pretty accurate, as with the current trend of violence-loving and reality TV, a real life Smash TV might not be far off. But that sad, sad fact aside, the game is pretty fun. It’s also pretty hard, and I can’t get too far without cheating. There are tons of enemies, way more than in any Gauntlet game, even. And the bosses have tons of life and really enjoy killing you.

Even though it’s almost always the same thing over and over, I find that the game doesn’t get too boring after playing it a lot. The only real different rooms are the cash rooms and bosses. The only annoying part of the game is at the end of a level, when your points are tallied up. It’s fine if you do badly, but if you get a lot of stuff, it can take a long time to add up all your points. And the worst part is that you can’t skip it, you have to sit for 1 to 3 minutes waiting for the points to count up.

Now like I said, you basically just go around shooting stuff. Enemies constantly flood out of each side of the room, and you just can’t stop them. Fortunately, there are a whole bunch of power-ups to help take the gaggles of goons out. A bunch of weapons are at your disposal, like machine guns, rocket launchers, and spread shots. Then there are other things like the speed-up, invincibility, and a shield. The only thing is that the rooms last a long time, and the power-up don’t last nearly long enough to be of maximum use. But they do appear quite often, so it sort of balances out.

The bosses, on the other hand, are incredibly hard to beat if you’re not cheating. They’re pretty big, have a lot of weapons, and are slightly faster than yourself. Not only that, but they take forever to kill, and most of the time, your forced to use special weapons because normal guns don’t work at all. So not only are they very hard to not get killed by, but they take forever to beat, too. If there is an upside, it’s that the third one (I think) looks just like the announcer guy, and I thought that was pretty funny.

Now that I’m done with the summary, here’s my point tally.

Graphics:
They look fine for the SNES, and I think they’re mostly the same as the arcade version. The only real downside is that the game show babes are beastly. The greatest thing is that there can be about 40 things moving on the screen at the same time with no slowdown whatsoever. Or at least none that I can recall. 8

Sound & music
I can’t really remember there being any music. I guess it was all drowned out by the shooting and the dying. There are a few voice samples for the announcer, and they’re pretty good compared to most voice samples in game of that time. And by that, I mean that you can tell what he’s saying. 6

Controls
This is where the game really shines. You control your guy with the d-pad, and which way he shoots with the face buttons, so you can move and shoot in different directions. If you’re playing the ROM and have a dual-analog gamepad, try setting movement to one stick and shooting to the other. I couldn’t get it to work, but I imagine it would work very nicely. 10

Fun
It’s good fun, and is just as good with two players. It can really get competitive if you’re both obsessed with getting all the loot, so it really adds to the fun of the game. It loses a few points because the bosses take way too long to kill and the game is just too damn hard to get very far. 8

Overall
I enjoy the game, but not in extended periods of time. I might beat a few rooms one day, save state, play a few rooms the next day, and so on. The lack of notable/memorable music is a real downer for me, but that just means I can turn off the sound and pop in one of my CDs without feeling cheated out of awesome music. It’s games like this that are the foundation of what an arcade should be. We need less of those damned shooting and fighting games and more of the old-school adventureish games like this or that Ninja Turtles arcade game. Overall, I’ll give it a 7.

So that’s about it. I do feel a little low for posting this on my site, it’s not exactly up to my general standards. But what can I say, it took me about an hour to write, including the time it took me to figure out what I’d write about, get the pictures, and write the thing. So I guess the last little note I should tack on here is that if you’ve got a friends nearby and a couple of PC gamepads, go download this ROM now, or buy one of the many classic arcade compilations that have this game on it. It’s a game worth trying out, and as I’ve said for many a game before this, it’s great for killing time.

Love said no

I had an inkling when I heard about XBox Live Arcade that the chances that I would one day own an XBox 360 had risen astronomically. Now, thanks to Jeremy Parish, it’s nigh inevitable.

Servbots! I could ignore the MegaMan X suit, but I cannot hope to resist the Servbots. If you’d played MegaMan Legends, you’d know exactly why. Read the post on ToastyFrog for more info.

My iPod got royally messed the other day. Read the tale here. Hopefully it’ll be corrected one way or another pretty soon… I miss the little guy.

I recenty read through the Ugly Hill archive. Good stuff.

If you love platformers and theses, I recommend reading this study on platform games. I spent my Friday night reading all 31 pages of it, and I don’t entirely regret it. Then again, I’m a huge nerd.

Apparently there was recently a Masturbate-athon held in London. I’m still trying to figure out why I wasn’t the guest of honour.

I’m not going to argue with this list of the Top Ten Manliest Superheroes, mostly because they included Grifter (a personal favourite), but I really think that despite Bruce Banner being kind of a pussy, the Hulk should have been on it somewhere.

Time will tell if all turns out OK

A little over a year ago, I purchased a game for my Nintendo DS called Meteos. It was a pretty simple-looking puzzle game that was getting very respectable press. Since I adore puzzle games, I was going to get it even before I heard how good it was. So I bought it. And by God, was I impressed.

I started playing Meteos again about a week ago, and it’s easily just as addictive and fun as it was a year ago. Of all the DS games I own, I think I’ll be coming back to this one the most over time. There’s nothing not to love about Meteos. It’s frantic, it’s engaging, and there’s a good level of strategy associated with it. You can pick up, learn, and have fun with Meteos just as easily as you can Tetris, but just like Tetris, you’ll have to pick up on a few tricks and techniques before you can earn mind-boggling scores. A year later, my skills haven’t slipped at all, and I’ve even finally been able to reach the elusive “The Ascent” ending.

One coolest things about Meteos is the music. It’s not like other games in that there’s just BGM playing while you do your thing. No. You essentially create the music as you go, with each successful Meteo match-up inciting a little tune, and different tunes being playe for bigger matches, higher combos, etc. I know the Wind Waker was a little bit like that in the way that attacking enemies would produce short melodies, but no other games that I’ve played really even attempt such a neat feature. The other thing I really love is that once you get into Meteos, Meteos gets into you. I know that on days that I’ve spent playing the game, that when I close my eyes at night, I see Meteos falling and then my mind just starts to play its own game. And not by choice either. It just happens, and I love it.

So why do I bring it up? Because I don’t think I’ve ever talked about Meteos before. That, and I really wish they would re-release it with WiFi capabilities. Just like nearly every muliplayer game, it’s so much more fun to play against other people. I’ve been trying to get my brother to buy it ever since I got it, but no such luck. Sure, there’s a single-card option, but we don’t play often enough for him to get good by that alone. I think my only real chance of getting some really good multiplayer Meteos going on is later this year, when Buena Vista Games releases Meteos: Disney Edition (which will hopefully include a WiFi option). I mean, I’m sure everyone that bought Meteos would adore WiFi play, and since they won’t be re-releasing the original, that’s probably the best we can hope for. The only downside to Wifi Meteos would be that my productivity would go from six to zero.

Just let me sleep

I found a great review of FFVII: Advent Children. Yeah it’s a little out-of-date, but a good read no less. Find it here.

In video game news, I’ve been enjoying two of my favourite games from the last generation, Super Mario 64 and MegaMan Legends. What this has to do with any thing, I can’t really tell you. What I do know is that I’m a little surprised at how much better those two games can hold my attention than most from the current generation. I even spent 6 straight hours playing Castlevania: Symphony of the Night some weekends ago, and I can rarely play a single game for two hours straight these days. I bought MGS3:Subsistence a few months ago, and I’m still not even halfway through it. Even the oh-so-lovable Katamari Damacy can only keep me occupied for about an hour at a time. Are games really getting less interesting? It can’t be me, because I can still sit down for hours with the classics and most handheld games. Who knows? Maybe it’s just a phase. I can very much see myself not leaving the house (my room?) for long periods of time once that Wii thing makes its way into my living space. End ramblings.

TE Reviews 6 Indie PC Games

Here we go again. More Goddamned video games. You must be getting pretty damned sick of these things by now. Well that’s too ding-dong bad for you, because I’m gonna be doing video game reviews until Torrential Equilibrium goes belly up!

That little foreplay all said and done, there’s a small twist to today’s video game review. This review is actually six reviews. Six reviews of six different independently-developed PC games. These aren’t your regular PC games like Doom or The Sims. No, these were made by students, tiny companies, and dudes with nothing better to do. All have garnered at least a little internet fame, so you know they’re gonna be good. Maybe. A couple are really out there, and I can’t guarantee you’ll like them all, but make sure to give ’em all a try, at least. Because I like them all. After all, how many articles are written about things I don’t like. The answer is: More than I care to count, but I’m pretty sure it’s less than ten.

Oh yeah, and I’m not entirely sure if “indie” is the proper word to be using here, but there isn’t really any better word to use, so imma run with it.

Our first game comes courtesy of Studio Pixel. To be completely honest, I actually found out about this company on Last.FM. Odd, no?

Anyhow, this game is called “Glasses” and is about as complex as a Game & Watch title (on the surface…). As the little man, your job is to catch the falling glasses with your face. The better aligned the glasses are with your giant head, the more points you score. You even get a bonus point if you get a jump catch. It works in three “heats,” so to speak. Each time, the pair of glasses falls a little quicker, and at the end, your points are totaled and you get a comment based on how well you do.

And that’s pretty much the extent of the game. It literally takes about a minute to play. So why do I choose it to review? Maybe because I don’t have to exert any effort to get it done? Nope! I choose it because as simple as it is, I found it damn addictive. Seriously. If you’re anything like me, you’ll play it over and over again until you have a perfect score, and then keep playing it over and over again because it’s rather fun for a game that doesn’t really amount to anything more than a minor distraction. And I do recommend that you keep playing until you get a perfect score (or at least 30 of a possible 33), not only because some of the comments are slightly funny, but also because there’s a little something for those talented enough to do really well… I won’t spoil it, but it is pretty wicked sweet.

High recommendation for this one, not only because it’s a fun little distraction, but also because the music is just as kickass as the gameplay. Possibly even moreso. You can find the English version on this page (god knows there isn’t much to translate) or since it’s so damned small, download it directly from me.

The second game on my list is another less-than-complicated title called Seiklus. I’d made by some dude who goes by the name of clysm. I found this one thanks to the “101 free games” article that 1up.com ran some time ago.

Seiklus is a very simple game. You play as a little white guy, and you pretty much jump and climb around the world. There aren’t any real enemies to deal with, and obstacles don’t hurt you or anything, so you don’t really have to worry about anything. The game is really just based around exploring and adventure.

So what purpose does the adventuring serve? Well, there’s a small cutscene at the beginning, in which your little guy gets knocked off his star(?) and separated from his supposed girlfriend. He then lands in a grassy field, and so begins the quest. So I’m assuming that your objective is to return to the star. But there’s a snag. You’ve gotta collect these multi-coloured bubbles to open a door, which I assume leads home. I haven’t been able to find all the bubbles yet, so I’m not entirely sure. There’s a second door as well, but I have no idea what that one’s for. There are also a handful of little “artifacts” scattered all over the place, which seem to have special effects of some sort.

Overall, the game has a very peaceful way about it, just letting you explore where you want when you want. It doesn’t really force you to do anything, and the map is pretty huge, with many different paths to take. The places you wind up are pretty varied, and the few events that take place are kinda neat. Plus, since I haven’t finished it yet, you can tell that it’s not as easy as it is laid-back. Sure, I’ve only logged in about three hours max, but people have flown through Metroid Prime in two hours. There’s some kind of logic in there somewhere, but I can’t be bothered to try to explain it.

the graphics are rather plain, but I doubt the game would be as charming with any more detail. Besides, there are some neat little effects here and there. The music also fits it to a tee, working very well with each area. I think the best way to describe it is “Earthbound meets Relentless.” But then again, I doubt many of you have ever played the awesome game that is Relentless. I’d review it, but I don’t have a computer old enough to run it…

Like Glasses, I totally recommend this one. You’ll need a little more free time to fully enjoy this one, but there’s a handy save feature, so you don’t have to get it all done in one run. Though you likely will if you’ve got the time to spare. This one can really suck you in. Download it here.

I learned about the next game from one of my new favourite blogs. While he was more talking about the game that will be included with Half-Life Episode 2, Portal, he linked to a similar game called Narbacular Drop, which was apparently the base idea for Portal. Obviously, I downloaded.

Simply put, I very much liked what I got. While Narbacular Drop is a DigiPen student project, meaning it’s rather short, it’s an incredible game. Hell, it’s an incredible experience.

So what’s the game all about? You play as a princess who’s been captured by a demon. With the help of some Mountain God or something, you can create doors in the walls of a room that link to each other. It’s a little hard to explain, but I’ll try. Assume you put one door on the north wall of a room, and one on the south. If you were to walk into one, you would come out the other. Well, maybe that wasn’t so hard after all. It’s pretty simple, but it’s enough to keep you entertained for a long time. Just the idea of being able to bend space is pretty enticing, I think. The ways that the level designers used the ability in the various rooms is pretty good, and there are a good handful of traps to avoid and puzzles to solve before you escape the dungeon.

The graphics are clearly the best of any game in this feature, not quite current-gen quality, but definitely a few steps above the N64/PS1 era. Textures are nicely done and put Super Mario Sunshine to shame, but the lava is unconvincing to say the least. There’s only like two music tracks in the whole game, and I can’t say that I can recall whether they were any good or not. But that’s not the point! Defying the laws of the universe is more than enough to satisfy me!

so yeah. Narbacular Drop pretty much rocks, and you can bet that I’ll be getting me some Half-Life Episode 2 just for Portal. You can check out the ND website and download the game here. High recommendation in this corner.

I was aiming to get games from five different sources, but that seems impossible now. Game number four is another Studio Pixel effort, and easily their most popular offering. Play it and you’ll see just why.

Cave Story is very much the same as Glasses in some ways, and very different in other ways. The main similarities would be the graphics and music. The game is drawn in a style that resembles maybe a GameBoy Colour at best, but exudes enough personality and charm that it really doesn’t need to look any better. The music is also pretty aged, but entirely awesome. There’s even a little jingle when you pick up power-ups that will bring back memories of Metroid.

And speaking of Metroid, Cave Story is not quite, but very close to being Metroidvania. (For the uninformed, “Metroidvania” refers to a game with open-ended exploration, where gaining power-ups gives you access to new areas. Like the Metroid series or any of the more recent Castlevania games, hence Metroidvania.) This is where it differs ever so greatly from Glasses. You’ve got a whole world to explore, treasures to find, secrets to uncover, and a plot to follow. And the best part of all, you play as an adorable little robot!

So basically what we’ve got here is run, jump and shoot. But as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best kind of game. As I mentioned, you’re a little robot, and you wind up having to stop some demented Doctor. HOLD TEH FONE IS MEGAMANS! Well, not quite. I won’t spoil the story or anything though. Along the way, you’ll acquire a sizeable collection of weapons and power-ups, navigate many, many tunnels, and go up against some monstrous bosses.

I don’t have much else to say. I could start rambling and go into heavy detail about everything, but I think we’d all prefer if I didn’t. the final word though, is that Cave Story is a very sweet game, and God damn you’re missing out if you’re wasting your time reading this instead of playing it. Go download it right now. Or maybe later, when you’ve got some free time. Either way is fine with me, really.

Ooh! And one last little tip for if you do actually go play it. Once you find the machine gun, get it to level 3, then jump and shoot downwards. You’ll never have to worry about anything again!

Another game that was brought to my attention by 1up‘s “101 Free games” article, Akuji the Demon is another great little title that you’ll find looming around on the internet. I have no idea who this comes from, as I have no understanding of crazy-speak (Japanese), but that matters very little in the long run.

I talked about Cave Story fitting more or less into the Metroidvania sub-genre, and Akuji the Demon is a definite Metroidvania title. It’s all about exploring the game world, searching for your next power-up/ability. The only real difference is that you collect a number of crystal skulls to increase your life, rather than simple energy tanks or the like. Now I love Metroidvania titles more than pretty much anything, so I’m very happy with this title. The graphics are pixely, colourful and cute, and are rather entertaining. Just look at little Akuji! Whee! The music sounds like they just stole some midis from RPG Maker ’95, which is sad, but it’s something I got over pretty quickly.

I have little to no idea what the game is about, since it’s all in symbol-babble and I didn’t bother to find the translation patch (though it does exist out there somewhere). This was kind of a good thing, because I had to experiment every time I got a new item because I couldn’t read the help signs which would tell me what to do.

While the gameplay is pretty spectacular, there are some huge issues with the game. And when I say huge, I mean “you’ll get frustrated a little by them.” Firstly, you can’t change direction while jumping. This is a pain in the ass, especially if you’ve got a tendency to overshoot smaller platforms like I do. Secondly, the game is real short. To be fair, all of the games in this article are rather short, but you kind of expect more than an hour of gameplay from a game like Akuji. At least Cave Story takes between two and three.

In the end, though, Akuji the Demon is a darn fine game, and I recommend giving it a go. It’s not quite as awesome as Cave Story or as novel as Narbacular Drop, but it should do the trick. Go here and hit the second download link to, well, download it. You might also want to do a search for the translation patch, as I’m damn well not going to go find it for you.

I feel like kind of a sellout adding a Flash game onto this list, but we’ll consider it a special consideration, for reasons I don’t feel like explaining. In any case, I’m very, very hooked on Motherload. It’s no surprise either, because it comes from the same team that made Defend Your Castle (My all-time favourite Flash game), XGen Studios.

Simply put, the game is about mining for treasure. You’re a little digging… thing… on the surface of (what they call) Mars, and your task is to dig into the planet and unearth its precious minerals. Like so many games in this article, it’s simple. It’s damned addictive too. You know why? Because they put in little “cut-scenes” when you get so far down, and if you’re like me, you just have to know what happens at the next target depth.

But getting down there isn’t as easy as holding the down key. Nope, you’ve got fuel, armour, and a treasure hold to deal with, as well as about a half-dozen different hazards. When you bring minerals back to the surface, you get cash rewards depending on how valuable the goods are. With this cash, you refuel, fix up your hull, and… wait for it… BUY UPGRADES! Yes, that’s right. You get to buy upgrades for your little digger. Now you know exactly why I’ve been playing this game obsessively for the last week. If there are upgrades to be bought, I will buy them. That’s precisely why I don’t play MMORPGs.

Anyway, assuming you manage to play long enough to save up for all the best upgrades (which takes for-friggin’-ever) and reach the max depth (there’s got to be one, right?) you’ll probably quit playing. I can’t imagine you’d want to put yourself through that a second time. The first time isn’t overly fun, really, it’s just the burning desire to collect the best everything that’ll keep you going after about ten minutes. I hate speaking against it, but the truth must be told. It just doesn’t have anywhere near as much raw fun power as Defend Your Castle.

Besides that little hiccup, I still suggest you try it out. If you’ve got the lust for power-ups, you’ll love it. If not, well, ten minutes. Max. Maybe twenty if you’re bored. Luckily, it does have a save feature if you do end up going back, so as long as you don’t destroy your cookies or that junk, you won’t lose your hard work. Also, since it’s a Flash game, there’s no need to download it! Lucky!

And that pretty much sums it all up. I know there are tons more games out there on the net, and maybe some are more deserving of being seen here (I can list a couple), but I’ve made my choices. I’m sticking with ’em, too. If you didn’t know, I had the first five reviews up on the blog, so sticking them in article form is a little redundant since I keep all my blog archives. Of course, there’s no reason you shouldn’t know that. Unless it’s like 2007 and you just stumbled onto this site and haven’t read the blog archives. Then it’s okay not to know. End.

Almost free

DADADADA DA DA, TURTLE POWER!

In other news, I discoverd that they sell Pocky down at the local supermarket, and since it seems to be all the rage with the internet nerd crowd, I figured I’d best give it a try. I’ll admit that I was a little wary of it at first, but I picked out a pack of strawberry-flavoured Pocky and decided to giv’er. Turns out it’s actually pretty tasty. I wouldn’t say it’s worth all the hype behind it, but it is pretty good. That said, let’s move on.

Another game that was brought to my attention by 1up‘s “101 Free games” article, Akuji the Demon is another great little title that you’ll find looming around on the internet. I have no idea who this comes from, as I have no understanding of crazy-speak (Japanese), but that matters very little in the long run.

I talked about Cave Story fitting more or less into the Metroidvania sub-genre, and Akuji the Demon is a definite Metroidvania title. It’s all about exploring the game world, searching for your next power-up/ability. The only real difference is that you collect a number of crystal skulls to increase your life, rather than simple energy tanks or the like. Now I love Metroidvania titles more than pretty much anything, so I’m very happy with this title. The graphics are pixely, colourful and cute, and are rather entertaining. Just look at little Akuji! Whee! The music sounds like they just stole some midis from RPG Maker ’95, which is sad, but it’s something I got over pretty quickly.

I have little to no idea what the game is about, since it’s all in symbol-babble and I didn’t bother to find the translation patch (though it does exist out there somewhere). This was kind of a good thing, because I had to experiment every time I got a new item because I couldn’t read the help signs which would tell me what to do.

While the gameplay is pretty spectacular, there are some huge issues with the game. And when I say huge, I mean “you’ll get frustrated a little by them.” Firstly, you can’t change direction while jumping. This is a pain in the ass, especially if you’ve got a tendency to overshoot smaller platforms like I do. Secondly, the game is real short. To be fair, all of the games in this article are rather short, but you kind of expect more than an hour of gameplay from a game like Akuji. At least Cave Story takes between two and three.

In the end, though, Akuji the Demon is a darn fine game, and I recommend giving it a go. It’s not quite as awesome as Cave Story or as novel as Narbacular Drop, but it should do the trick. Go here and hit the second download link to, well, download it. You might also want to do a search for the translation patch, as I’m damn well not going to go find it for you.

Drunk on shadows and lost in life

There isn’t really anything I need to bring up or elaborate on today, so let’s just jump straight into today’s review, shall we?

I was aiming to get games from five different sources, but that seems impossible now. Game number four is another Studio Pixel effort, and easily their most popular offering. Play it and you’ll see just why.

Cave Story is very much the same as Glasses in some ways, and very different in other ways. The main similarities would be the graphics and music. The game is drawn in a style that resembles maybe a GameBoy Colour at best, but exudes enough personality and charm that it really doesn’t need to look any better. The music is also pretty aged, but entirely awesome. There’s even a little jingle when you pick up power-ups that will bring back memories of Metroid.

And speaking of Metroid, Cave Story is not quite, but very close to being a Metroidvania. (For the uninformed, “Metroidvania” refers to a game with open-ended exploration, where gaining power-ups gives you access to new areas. Like the Metroid series or any of the more recent Castlevania games. Hence, Metroidvania.) This is where it differs ever so greatly from Glasses. You’ve got a whole world to explore, treasures to find, secrets to uncover, and a plot to follow. And the best part of all, you play as an adorable little robot!

So basically what we’ve got here is run, jump and shoot. But as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best kind of game. As I mentioned, you’re a little robot, and you wind up having to stop some demented Doctor. HOLD TEH FONE IS MEGAMANS! Well, not quite. I won’t spoil the story or anything though. Along the way, you’ll acquire a sizeable collection of weapons and power-ups, navigate many, many tunnels, and go up against some monstrous bosses.

I don’t have much else to say. I could start rambling and go into heavy detail about everything, but I think we’d all prefer if I didn’t. The final word though, is that Cave Story is a very sweet game, and God damn you’re missing out if you’re wasting your time reading this instead of playing it. Go download it right now. Or maybe later, when you’ve got some free time. Either way is fine with me, really.

Ooh! And one last little tip for if you do actually go play it. Once you find the machine gun, get it to level 3, then jump and shoot downwards. You’ll never have to worry about anything again!

Too young, too proud to understand

The ol’ router isn’t doing any better today. If anything, it’s actually getting worse. Damn thing’s cutting off internet access to whoever it wants whenever it wants. It never gave me any problems before, and at this point, I’m thinking the best solution would just be to reinstall Windows. That always fixes everything. But there’s more than the bitchy router going on today! Let’s take a look.

I learned about the next game from one of my new favourite blogs. While he was more talking about the game that will be included with Half-Life Episode 2, Portal, he linked to a similar game called Narbacular Drop, which was apparently the base idea for Portal. Obviously, I downloaded.

Simply put, I very much liked what I got. While Narbacular Drop is a DigiPen student project, meaning it’s rather short, it’s an incredible game. Hell, it’s an incredible experience.

So what’s the game all about? You play as a princess who’s been captured by a demon. With the help of some Mountain God or something, you can create doors in the walls of a room that link to each other. It’s a little hard to explain, but I’ll try. Assume you put one door on the north wall of a room, and one on the south. If you were to walk into one, you would come out the other. Well, maybe that wasn’t so hard after all. It’s pretty simple, but it’s enough to keep you entertained for a long time. Just the idea of being able to bend space is pretty enticing, I think. The ways that the level designers used the ability in the various rooms is pretty good, and there are a good handful of traps to avoid and puzzles to solve before you escape the dungeon.

The graphics are clearly the best of any game in this feature, not quite current-gen quality, but definitely a few steps above the N64/PS1 era. Textures are nicely done and put Super Mario Sunshine to shame, but the lava is unconvincing to say the least. There’s only like two music tracks in the whole game, and I can’t say that I can recall whether they were any good or not. But that’s not the point! Defying the laws of the universe is more than enough to satisfy me!

So yeah. Narbacular Drop pretty much rocks, and you can bet that I’ll be getting me some Half-Life Episode 2 just for Portal. You can check out the ND website and download the game here. High recommendation in this corner.