Valhalla, I am coming!

So I guess 2009 hasn’t been a much better year for blogging, has it? Two months, three posts apiece. Sounds about up to par. Oh well. Consider it a concession to that nagging voice in my head that’s yelling at me for not blogging about anything interesting.

But ho! Have I got something interesting to talk about today! If you look at video game news at all, you should know that there’s a little gem of a DS game going around called Retro Game Challenge. It’s packed full of NES games that never existed, and it’s an absolutely essential play for anyone with fond memories of gaming in the 80’s. Parish and his cronies won’t shut up about Guadia Quest, the RPG of the bunch, but there is so much more to enjoy here! Me, I love me some Robot Ninja Haggleman!

Robot Ninja Haggleman is a simple action game, sort of a strange mash-up between Super Mario Bros and… Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle maybe? I’m not sure, really. The whole “map full of doors” reminds me of Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle. The game is simple, requiring you, as Haggleman, to rid the room of enemies and then defeat the boss that appears. The twist is that each room has a plethora of doors, which serve many purposes. First, Haggleman can hide behind doors to avoid enemies, and a swinging door will stun/kill any bad guys that are too close. Entering a door also swings the doors of every like-coloured door, so you can set up combo kills by switching door colours. There are also items hidden behind certain doors, and the boss character can be flushed out before the peons are all dead by opening the door he’s hiding behind. It’s a pretty easy game, since Haggleman is not only able to kill enemies with doors and by stomping on them, but he’s also got ninja stars which stun baddies and there are powerups that make him even faster and stronger. Not to mention that it’s only 16 stages long, which is not bad by early NES standards. It’s super fun though.

The sequel, Robot Ninja Haggleman 2, as you may expect is even better. It’s the same basic game, but with many little improvements that add up to a lot. The title screen and cutscenes now have backgrounds, but otherwise the graphics are all the same. Gameplay tweaks like vertically scrolling stages (the original game’s stages only move horizontally) and the ability to delay your special attacks seem tiny but add a lot more to the game. It’s also noticeably more difficult, with smarter minor enemies and tougher bosses (they now take three hits to kill, as opposed to one in the first Robot Ninja Haggleman). It’s really all you could ever want from a sequel: the exact same game with a ton more polish and some nice gameplay additions.

Haggleman 3, however, is where the series really shines. It is entirely different from the previous games, and is probably the best NES game that was never made. It’s the last game in Retro Game Challenge and is truly a smashing finish to the game. Taking Metroid-style exploration and upgrading and putting a Ninja Gaiden mask over top of it is genius. It’s even got annoying bird that fly out of nowhere and knock you into bottomless pits! The game’s look is entirely different, with large, dramatic-looking sprites as opposed to the cartoony style of the previous installments, and the gameplay follows suit. It’s awesome. I don’t know how many times I’m gonna say that.

Seriously, Haggleman 3 is the apex of 8-bit gaming. The controls are fluid, and the stages are huge. Haggleman tosses ninja stars by default, but getting in close to enemies will get him to start swinging his sword. Stages are no longer a big series of halls and doors, they’re now huge areas with tons of different paths and secrets everywhere. Doors now lead only to hints and stores. In the stores, Haggleman can buy life, special weapons, and gears. The gears can be installed to give Haggleman increases abilities, like stronger attacks or higher jumps, but only three can be equipped at any time and they have to be under a certain power limit, so that gives it a slight puzzle element in having to know what gears to have equipped at the right time.

I really can’t continue and keep pretending that this is interesting for anyone but me, so I’ll stop here, but let it be known that Robot Ninja Haggleman is my new hero. Truly, you owe it to yourself to pick up a copy of Retro Game Challenge if you own a DS and love 8-bit gaming (who doesn’t?). What’s even better is that the sequel just hit store shelves in Japan. It’s not a huge deal yet because the first game took almost a year and a half to be localized, but maybe the mass of hype around it will speed up that process for the sequel. Early fall release, maybe? Please?

With a heart full of napalm

Last month (or last year if you want to be dramatic), I rambled on about the sorry state of Nintendo’s digital distribution channel, the Wii Shop. In that short and hastily-typed tirade, I mentioned that though WiiWare’s lineup was lacking, I thought that Space Invaders Get Even looked like it had some chops. I was totally right.

I had bought some Wii Points a couple days ago so that I could download the newly-released Kirby’s Dream Land 3 (beautiful, beautiful game), and had 1500 points to spare. I figured that I wanted to give Space Invaders Get Even a shot, but World of Goo was calling my name. I believe it came down to the fact that for 500 points, if I didn’t like SIGE, it wouldn’t be a huge loss, whilst World of Goo would run me my whole 1500. So the Space Invaders got their chance to shine.

Space Invaders Get Even is a very simple game. A glorified shoot ’em up, even. The object is to fly your ship around the map and blow shit up. You would not believe that this alone is enough fun to warrant the 5 dollars it cost you to buy the game. Hell, this is more than enough fun to warrant a $20 purchase. I would totally not be disappointed if this were a disc release game and I’d bought it out of the $20 bargain bin at Superstore. But yeah, fly around and blow up some particular buildings and that’s all. The game is drenched in wonderful sci-fi cheese, and as far as the atmosphere of the game goes, makes me think back to War of the Monsters (anyone have a spare copy?) and Destroy All Humans.

But there is a little more to it than that! It’s a Space Invaders game after all, and the whole point of any title bearing that name would be achieving high scores. So while leveling the playing field (literally) is a great hook, you’ll get totally addicted to trying to top out your scores. Online leaderboards do nothing to help stop that addiction either. I’ve never been crazy about leaderboards (because I’m only mediocre at games), but for once I’ve been checking how I stack up to everyone else quite obsessively, and am proud to say I’m ranked 99th on overall game score. That’s pretty good!

There is one catch, however. The game you buy from the Wii Shop Channel only contains two levels and a boss. While these are more than good enough for a while, the itch to blow up some new scenery will rear its ugly head, and new scenery is available, thoughat a cost. There are three mission packs available for 500 points apiece. And while that sounds outrageous, there is an upside: each mission pack contains four stages and two bosses, thereby giving you twice as much game as your initial investment for the same price. Not as bad as it could be, but still a bit on the sketchy side. You really can’t expect much more from Square-Enix though. Also, the intial game eats up 300+ blocks of memory, and each expansion pack takes around 120, so it’s a friggin’ massive game to have on your Wii’s tiny internal memory. Until now I’ve barely cared about a Wii hard drive, but between SIGE and the Strong Bad games, I’m starting to get a little irritated by its lack of existence.

To conclude, I’d say that Space Invaders Get Even is a no-brainer. At least the intinal download is. Nickel-and-diming us for the rest of the levels is kind of a dick move, but it only comes out to $20 in the end, and like I said before, I would gladly pay that price for the game. I just really want to play War of the Monsters now. I never should have mentioned it… *sigh*

Live fast, ’cause it won’t last

Ah, a new year. We’re already a few days in, but let’s talk about it anyway. I know I’m usually more of the cynical type, but I’ve got a good feeling about 2009. Not that 2008 wasn’t a good year. Oh no, quite opposite in fact!

2008 was a pretty great year in and of itself. There was that one rough patch in March-ish, and the last week of the year was a little touch-and-go for a while, but overall I’d say 2008 was a rousing success. The belated release of Super Smash Bros Brawl was more than enough in itself to make me happy with last year, but let’s not forget some of the other great things that came to us like No More Heroes and Fable II. Oh, and Tales of Vesperia too, which I am still spending a solid chunk of my free time playing (damned achievements!).

I also got a promotion earlier in the year, and though I enjoy the little bit of power I’ve been granted, it’s still not nearly enough to make me like my job. But that’s okay, because recently a really huge opportunity has shown its face and I’m really hoping it works out. I won’t go into any more detail because the more I talk about it, the less fate will think I deserve it, but I will say this: it would be my dream job.

Obviously, and most importantly, 2008 is the year that I started dating my girlfriend. It’s been fantastic, and while there are a few very minor drawbacks (I sometimes miss having copious amounts of free time), I finally understand just why people always seem so desperate to be with someone. We’ve been on several vacations together already, and have a designated movie night. Working at the same place has its perks too, of course.

So yeah, 2008 was good. Maybe not perfect, but that’s what 2009 is for, I guess. Hopefully this year I’ll make a little more time for my website(s) and write up more than five articles. I mean, that’s less than one every two months. Unacceptable! Perhaps I’ll finish refurbishing the “Spare!” comics. Who knows. Though I’m fairly sure I’ve mentioned that at least a million times in the last few months and nothing’s come of it.

Anyway, that’s my two cents. Here’s to the new year and even better times!

Promise not to stop when I say “when”

Well, it’s now the 24th of December, and I have successfully made one news post every day. Guess maybe I did have it in me after all. I know a couple were a bit crappy, but sometiimes that’s just how she goes.

Today, I was intending to talk about the best DLC for Rock Band, but I’d rather just make a bit of a spiel about how I hate working on computers that aren’t mine. See, I’m making this post from my girlfriend’s laptop, as I will not be home at all today, and I had to make the last post, right? But anyway, I’m finding this very uncomfortable. The whole compressed keyboard thing is a pain to adjust to, and making my typing way slower. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a vey nice laptop, and I wouldn’t mind owning one myself, but I just can’t stand adjusting to a new keyboard.

Much more of an issue is the fact that it’s running Windows Vista. Oh my God I hate Vista. It took me nearly half an hour to figure out how to access my FTP site or whatever through the network connections, and it really shouldn’t be that hard. I don’t think I could even do it again. And why doesn’t the “choose program” under “open with” have a bunch of default programs? I had to dig through the whole Windows directory to find the stupid Notepad. Notepad! And yes, I do all my HTMLing in Notepad. I’m sure it would be a lot easier with a program that would pick out wrong and useles code, but whatever. I’ve been doing it this way for six years, why change now? I hate change.

On a lighter note, we watched A Christmas Tale from that 6-movie set last night. It was actually a lot funnier than it was scary. The plot was about a bunch of kids who found a dangerous criminal who had fallen into a pit. She had robbed a bank, and the kids were trying to get her to give them the money before they’d help her out of the hole. Then there was voodoo and zombies and a slightly ambiguous ending. It was okay, nothing special. I think my favourite part was that there were four boys, and when they were coming up with nicknames to use while talking to the criminal, they named themselves after the A-Team. That was funny.

So yep. That concludes the 24 Days of Materialism. Hoped you enjoyed it as much as I hated finding a way to make a blog post every day for 24 days staight.

Wished ever after would be like this

Okay, Monday is whatever I want it to be, right? Well today I choose to do a sort of Part 2 to yesterday’s post. And by that, I mean I have posted a new article; the 2008 Virtual Console Wishlist. It’s all about Super Nintendo games! And it actually falls closer to the intent of this “24 Days of Materialism” feature than yesterday’s rant, because it’s a loving tribute to things I would like to pay money for, whereas usually I talk about things I’ve already paid for.

So go read that maybe. It’s pretty one-sided, but I’m sure you’ll agree with me on at least the last game. If you don’t you’re a heartless monster and you shouldn’t be allowed to play video games.

Virtual Console Wishlist 2008 – The Super NES Edition

Here we are again, at the end of another year. Only this time it’s 2008. And since it’s a different year, I guess I get the luxury of running the same article I did last December without the guilt of using the same idea twice in a year. So like I did back then, I’m going to make a short list of games that I would personally love to see on the Wii’s Virtual Console service. It’ll be a little bit harder this year, because I used my most wanted in 2007, but coming up with seven more wasn’t too hard. And I even have a gimmick this time!

For 2008’s VC Wishlist, I’ve decided that I’m only going to pick games that appeared on the Super Nintendo (or Super Famicom, in some cases). Why? I dunno. I was just picking games and once I had it down to a relatively short list I realized that the ones I wanted the most were on the SNES. Sure, there are some NES games that I would love to play again, but none more than G.I. Joe or Nightshade. The only thing I’ve craved on the N64 lately has inexplicably been Pokémon Stadium, but that’s not super important. And like last year, I really couldn’t give a crap what happens with the Sega and Hudson machines. Or even the Neo Geo. I can’t even think of all the systems they’ve got on there now. All I had as a kid were the Nintendo machines, so we’re gonna stick to those.


#1 – Soul Blazer

Chances are you’ve never played Soul Blazer before. It’s only slightly less likely that you’ve never even heard of the game before now. Or maybe it was huge and I just missed it because I was afraid of RPGs back in my SNESing days. Imagine my surprise when I opened the ROM file a couple years ago and learned that it wasn’t really that much of an RPG at all!

No, Soul Blazer has more in common with the Zelda series that it would with any Final Fantasy. It’s one of those top-down action RPGs that I love so much. Wish I had known that back in the day! Yes, that would have been good, because I really don’t think Soul Blazer has held up all that well over time. The graphics aren’t horrible, but do reek of bland. It looks almost like a dressed-up Final Fantasy Mystic Quest. Or at least that’s what I can best liken it to. Not to mention that the gameplay could use a little sprucing up. I’ll give in to the fact that it’s an earlier SNES game, but it could still work a little better. The point is, at the tie I would have thought the games was great. At present, it’s a little outdated. Or a lot.

So If I’m being so hard on the game, why do I want it on the Virtual Console soooo bad? for one, because if you look past its age, it’s not a terrible game. A little clunky and rough around the edges, but entirely playable. I do like it, but there’s not use pretending it’s better than it. The main reason I want to see it is because I’ve never played all the way through. I’ve only spent about two hours at most with the game, just more than enough to form an opinion of a SNES title. And I want to play it because I’ve been itching to go through Illusion of Gaia again, but my misguided sense of fairness is forcing me to play this one again. And if it lived on my Wii, that would make it that much more appealing to actually load up and play.

I can’t truly rate Soul Blazer at this point, because I’ve only barely gotten into it, but then again, I’ve only finished two of the games on this list, so it’s really more of a “I want to truly experience these for the first time list”. Mostly, anyway. If I did have to place a final judgement on it right now though, I could tell you that I’ve easily downloaded games of lower quality than this. The TG-16’s Neutopia, for example. And that’s essentially the first Legend of Zelda game with a facelift. So yeah, I would buy this one as soon as it showed up in the Wii Shop. Might not play it right away, but it would give me peace of mind to at least know that it’s there waiting for me.

#2 – Illusion of Gaia

Illusion of Gaia is the sequel to Soul Blazer, and the second game in the trilogy. It’s also the only one I’ve finished. Of all three games, I think this one would be the most likely Virtual Console candidate, if only because Soul Blazer (as far as I know) was never hugely publicized and the sequel never made it to North America.

Illusion of Gaia is a huge step up from its predecessor. It’s still a top-down Zelda wannabe, but it’s much more polished and the story is actually really interesting. Or, at least, it was many years ago when I played it through. I think it would probably still hold up pretty well these days.

The plot of the game follows a young boy named Will on a quest to save the world from a doomsday comet. It’s pretty standard stuff, but the part that I love about it, and indeed what drew me to the game in the first place, is that most of the game locations take place in real-world locations like the Nazca lines and the Great Wall of China. It’s officially a fantasy world, but there are so many analogues to real human history and mysteries, and I think that adds an incredibly interesting facet to the game. I know it sounds horrible, but I kind of wish the game gave even more real information about these things. It would be the first truly entertaining edutainment title.

Plot and locations aside, I still think Illusion of Gaia is a solid title. It’s still sort of a lo-fi Zelda, but it has its own charm that I find very few other games possess. Maybe I’m just looking at it through rosy nostalgia glasses, but I’ve been itching to play through it again. The only reason I haven’t is that I have so many other games in progress that I couldn’t possibly start playing a game I’ve already seen through to completion. Also, I want to play and beat Soul Blazer first, if just for that minor sense of completion. Of all the games featured here, I think this is the one that I have the strongest craving to play.

#3 – Terranigma

The last in the series, Terranigma is also the finest. Well, probably. I’ve only been through roughly a tenth of the game, but that was much more recently than the other two, and I remember thinking that it was really quite awesome. My friends even agreed with me when I showed it to them. Though to be fair, it was still early in our career of playing ROMs, and it was mind-blowing to play pretty much any SNES game on our computers for free.

Terranigma, as far as I remember, is more of a “preserve the world and nature” themed game than simply saving the world. Or at least, that’s the impression I got from the first couple hours of it. A quick check on Wikipedia confirms that it’s a wee bit more complex than that. The game takes place in a world where the Earth is hollow and the overworld is dominated by good, and the underworld interior by evil. There’s more to it than it seems though, because the hero of the game… is from the underworld!

I honestly can’t remember a lot about this game other than the fact that it plays pretty closely to Illusion of Gaia and that it was a ton of fun. Not sure why I never finished this one, because whenever I think about it, I can only remember it being pure bliss. I’m sure it wasn’t that good, but I’m willing to stake my reputation (not that that’s a huge gamble) on the fact that it is a top tier SNES game. In fact, while it was only released in Japan and Europe, the main (only?) reason we never saw it is because Enix’s North American branch closed down before they could get it out. the only thing I’m not into about this game is that because of my misguided sense of obligation, I have to finish the other two games before I’ll let myself start this one! Aargh! Well, if by some impossible stroke of luck we see this on the Virtual Console first, I suppose I’ll have a loophole.

#4 – Robotrek

While not a sequel to any of the aforementioned games, Robotrek comes to us from the same development studio as the Soul Blazer trilogy, Quintet. Over the years, I have come to really respect their work, and the fact that most (if not all) of their SNES titles were published by Enix made them must-plays for me. See, I’m willing to give anything with the Enix name a shot because they had so much wonderful product in the 16-bit era, and Robotrek is no exception.

I have actually tried playing Robotrek twice, neither time making it very far into the game. This saddens me, because it’s exactly the type of game I want to play. For one, it’s an Enix RPG, and much more of a standard RPG than the last three games I just talked about. For two, it has a large collection/synthesis/customization aspect to it, and that I absolutely adore.

The game is about robots, obviously, and I have no idea what the plot was about, but you play as a young boy who uses robots to battle. It’s essentially Pokémon a year before Pokémon existed. Not only can you build new robots, but you can customize them to your liking, adding new parts and weapons, and even make your own new parts by combining old ones. Like I said, it’s exactly the kind of game I want to play. It’s almost like if Custom Robo were a standard JRPG.

So yeah, I think I’ve made it clear exactly why I want to be playing this on my Wii as soon as possible. I think the reason I put it down in the past is maybe because the completionist in me became too obsessed and I was too interested in beefing up my robots than actually playing through the story. That sounds about right. I do, after all, usually have Butterfree and Wartortle before even reaching Brock.

#5 – Umihara Kawase

Nintendo very rarely uses their infinite power to infuse the Virtual Console’s lineup with games that were never released in whatever particular region you may be in. Sin and Punishment would be the big one for us here in North America, but there are tons of lesser known games that never made it over here that I would love to see make it over in digital form. Umihara Kawase would be somewhere around the top of that list.

The thing that makes Umihara Kawase a good candidate is that Nintendo could put it up with very little extra effort going into it. The game is a platform puzzler, and one of the best. You play as a small girl tasked with reaching a door on the other side of the stage, and your only ability is to use a fishing line as a grappling hook. The trick is that the hook responds to all sorts of physics, and the game can get very complicated, but once you get good (good luck ever mastering it!), it’s insanely entertaining. And that’s why it’s easy. The game needs no instructions. The only thing you have to learn is how your hook is going to respond to how you use it. Any story sequences I may have forgotten about are irrelevant, and the game is simple enough that you don’t need the tutorial.

So if Nintendo could put it up so easily and it’s so great, why isn’t it available yet? Sadly, it’s likely because the franchise then moved to the Playstation and recently somebody decided it would be a good idea to make another sequel on the PSP. I hear it’s a pretty sad interpretation of the SNES game, and that’s why I’d love to see the original swing into our lives via Wii. Will it happen? I don’t think it’s too likely. In fact, I’d wager that the Playstation game ends up on PSN before the SNES edition hits Virtual Console. Yes, that’s how bad it’s gotten on Nintendo’s digital distribution system.

#6 – Mario’s Super Picross

Of all games never released on American shores, I would think that Mario’s Super Picross is one of those with the best chance to end up as a Virtual Console candidate. Why? Because it’s already been released in Japan and the PAL territories, and also because Nintendo loves Picross. They’ve made a few puzzles from this game available as free DLC for Picross DS, so why not let us have the entire game for a few bucks?

I think I’ve made my love of picross obvious over the lifespan of this website, but if you hadn’t heard, I heart picross. It’s a fairly simple puzzle game wherein you’re given a grid and a set of numbers for each row and column. You have to deduce from that set of numbers which spaces on the grid in that row or column need to be filled in. It sounds unbearably easy, and for someone who’s spent a few hours solving picross puzzles, it usually is. The main mode in Mario’s Super Picross gives you a time limit in which to solve each puzzle, and you’re deducted time for each mistake you make, so it’s very much a thinking game. Fortunately, like sudoku, event though it involves numbers and heavy thought, there is no math involved. If there were, I wouldn’t love it.

It gets harder in the second set of puzzles, hosted by Wario, in which you have unlimited time, but the game won’t tell you if you make a mistake. It can take much longer to figure these ones out, but I’ve never taken much more than half an hour to get any of them done. It’s also much more satisfying to solve one of these puzzles, like when you beat a game of mahjong without any hints.

I stand firmly in my belief that Mario’s Super Picross will eventually be available to me as a Virtual Console title, because the Japanese and Europeans already have it, so it has to show up here sooner or later. Only now since Chris Kohler has become disillusioned with the VC, we don’t have anyone to badger Nintendo for equality anymore.

#7 – Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

Alright, Nintendo. Honestly, where is this? We have all the other Mario platformers, and even Yoshi’s Story. I think we’ve waited more than long enough for this one. We deserve Yoshi’s Island.

Yeah, I totally saved the best for last. As much as I like any of the other games on this list, none of them could even hold a candle to the majesty Yoshi’s Island. It is platforming perfection, a mecca that may never be reached again. How Nintendo could have slapped Yoshi’s Story on the VC list without Yoshi’s Island to reinforce Yoshi’s reputation is a mystery that may never be solved.

I honestly don’t think I should have to describe this game or why I love it. I mean, I don’t know why you would even be on this website if you’re the kind of person who would have skipped over this gem. Unless you’re my girlfriend, but that’s really the only acceptable case. So really, if you haven’t experienced the wonder that is Yoshi’s Island, I highly recommend you stop reading this right now and go find yourself the ROM and an emulator. Or at the very least, the GBA port. Just play it. And that recommendation goes double if you’re my girlfriend, as there may be hope for you liking video games that don’t require plastic guitars after all if you try this out.


So yes. That’s my list. It’s taken a lot of beer and Danish butter cookies to struggle through, but I’ve done it. Unlike last year, wherein I posted this in early November, I’m just making this one up on the second-to-last Monday of the year. Hence, this time we won’t think of these of games that I want to see before 2008 is up, but rather a list that I would like to see show up sometime in the year 2009. And don’t fret; unless some giant change in my life takes place that makes me unable to webmaster anymore, there will totally be a 2009 edition. It’s just too easy.

Give all ya got, and give it to me

I had two plans for today’s entry. the first, and best, was to write a new Virtual Console wishlist. That went to shit when I took an extra shift this morning, slept the afternoon away, and then played Tales of Vesperia all evening. The next plan was to write about something exciting and new on either the VC or WiiWare. That one didn’t work out because nothing even remotely interesting has been released on either service since Mega Man 3. And that was waaay back in the begining of November. Nevermind that there hasn’t been anything I would buy since Secret of Mana came out in October.

So Virtual Console has been kind of a dumping ground for mediocre to crappy games for the last couple months. It’s really sad because there’s still so many wonderful titles that are absent from the list. We’ve got the essentials like Super Metroid, Mega Man 2, and the aforementioned Secret of Mana, but where are the sleepers like Dragon Warrior or even Yoshi’s Island, one of the most wonderful platform games ever made? I understand that we’ll never see Crono Trigger or the SNES Final Fantasy titles because they’re all being remade or ported to the DS, but there are still tons of great projects under the Square-Enix name alone that will never be seen again (Wonder Project J, Lufia 2, etc) that would be perfect for the service. We won’t even start on what Capcom, Konami, and all those other developers. At the very least, I want the Soulblazer trilogy. Illusion of Gaia alone would even sate me. I want to play that game again so badly.

WiiWare hasn’t been faring much better. Actually, it’s been a lot worse. Aside from Stong Bad’s games, the only thing I’ve even considered downloading in the last God-knows-how-long is Space Invaders Get Even (pictured right), but the whole buy-it-in-pieces setup has turned me off completely. I would much rather buy the whole thing for 2000 points at once than make a bunch of smaller installments. It’s nice if you just want to try the game out but don’t feel like shelling out a whole $20 for it, but that’s exctly why Nintendo should provide demos! Have they not learned anything from the wonderful Xbox Live Arcade setup? But anyway, the service is otherwise polluted by games that look so bad I’d be amazed if even one person dowloaded them, and a flood of dumb colour-matching puzzle games. It’s ridiculous, and has made Nintendo the laughing stock of the digital distribution world. And to be considered worse than Sony in that category is a real testament to just how bad things are. Yes, they’re providing a lot of content, but quality control should at least be present, if even just to keep out the complete garbage like Hockey Allstar Shootout and Target Toss Pro: Bags.

So I suppose this post kind of volates the spirit of my “24 Days of Materialism” feature, being that it mostly tells you not to buy anything, and is more of a rant than a review. However, I did name a few games that are worth at least convincing a friend to buy. Like Space Invaders Get Even. You should totally get it and then invite me over to play. It’ll be awesome I promise.

She’s a helluva thrill

Okay, video game soundtrack time. I guess you can all just leave the room now since nobody cares.

Yep. Megaman 9 official soundtrack. I was totally psyched for this one. Had it pre-ordered and everything. And it rocks. Like, for real, not just for the sake of the pun. Inticreates had a lot of extra processing power to work with for this game, but kept it down to NES-styled graphics. The best part is that they kept the music consistent with those graphics, and you get a disc full of wonderful 8-bit techno to rock out to with this one.

Honestly, there isn’t a lot else for me to say here. I want to talk on and on about it, but if you’ve played any of the NES Megaman games, you pretty much know what you’re signing up for here. I’d say it’s on par with the original game’s soundtrack as far as quality goes, and that’s pretty good. No song will ever trump the theme to Bubble Man’s stage, but the stage anthems are great contenders. The intro music is pretty rad too.

What else do I have to say? I love it. If you like chiptunes, then you’ll probably get a kick out of it. Just make sure you import it, and don’t get it through Amazon or the like, or else it’ll cost you like double. That’s a bad thing.

Yeah yeah yeah

Between now and that last post, I’ve got my PC’s audio working! Huzzah! Turns out I haven’t completely forgotten everything I used to know about computers. It’s just hidden under many layers of dust and dates I now have to remember.

Many months ago Nintendo released some screenshots for a new Kirby game on the DS. They didn’t put a title to it, but I could tell right away that it was a remake Kirby Super Star. I was ecstatic. Sure, ports are generally frowned upon, but KSS is the best Kirby game ever, and given the generally tepid quality of Kirby Squeak Squad, there’s no guarantee a new game would have been better.

When I was a young ‘un, I first saw Kirby Super Star in an issue of Nintendo Power and knew it had to be mine. I owned and loved every Kirby game up until that point (minus Kirby’s Dream Course), and ran as fast as I could to tell my parents that I needed it or I would die. I had used this excuse before (Chrono Trigger, Earthbound), and it had been unsuccessful. Fortunately, my birthday was right around the corner, and what did I receive? Oh yeah. Kirby.

I played that fucking game so much that I’m surprised the cartridge never died out. I played alone, I played with my brothers, I played with friends. I played through all the games in Kirby Super Star upwards of twenty times (it took a lot longer back then!), and never got bored of it.

So naturally I grabbed the port. I had blazed through a ROM version of the original game in a single sitting not six months earlier, but was anxious to get my hands on this prettier version. And it was so much more! There are nearly twice as many games to play in this new version, and most of the new ones are really hard! Revenge of the King is a sweet “dark world” take on Spring Breeze, and Meta Knightmare has you burn through most of the original game as Meta Knight. Helper to Hero and The True Arena are great variations on the classic The Arena, and make it hard again. I used to get so frustrated with The Arena back in the day, but lately I can breeze through it without more than a couple nicks, and the new games just prove that while I’ve mastered what the original game threw at me, I’ve still got a lot of work before I can say I’ve truly conquered the fresh material.

In the end, Kirby Super Star Ultra is exactly what I’d hoped it would be: a prettier version of a game that I dearly loved in my youth. And then it’s more too, with all the extra games! Of course, it’s a Kirby game, so for the most part it’s super-easy, but Kirby games are always fun, even that unusually lame Nintendo 64 entry. Do I recommend? Hells yeah! Just make sure you have someone else to play with: half the fun of Kirby Super Star is playing God with player 2. Also stealing all the food from your dying friend.

Shooo-ryuken!

If you aren’t exactly in the loop, Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe was released not long ago, and it’s pretty much been the talk of guys at work. I’m actually really surprised at how much people have been talking about it. I never thought Mortal Kombat was very good. At all. If I ever played it, it was just to rebel againt my parents who didn’t want me playing anything with blood in it.

What I am interested in though, is the new Street Fighter! No no, not 4. Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix!

Okay, long name. But it’s great! It’s almost exactly like SSF2T as you remember it, but pretty! And rebalanced, and with more options, and with online play, and some other stuff. The point is that it still plays exactly like Street Fighter should, and that’s why I love it. Despite the fact that I am complete crap at it.

Yeah. I tried playing the remixed mode on easy, which supposedly, was really easy. It wasn’t. Not for me. I made it about four guys before I got to Cammy and I just could not defeat her. I know that I suck at fighters, but I just had to get in on this action. And you know what? Despite the fact that I couldn’t even get halfway through the fighter roster, I’m having fun with it. It’s Street Fighter! How could it not be fun?

The only qualm I have with the game is that it shows you how to execute every character’s special move, but only with an arrow. Sometimes those arrows are very twisted, and I cannot make out for the life of me what they’re trying to communicate to me. I wouldn’t mind if it said B-BD-D-FD-F+X. That is completely understandable to me. But trying to understand an arrow that goes across them twists in on itself is like trying to read a completely foreign language. Just too hard. Also I could never do the Dragon Punch even when I knew the combination so that’s not helping. In the end though, great game. But that much was obvious 15 years ago.