Gas tank is filled with vengeance

Look at the box to the right of this paragraph. “Ninjabread Man”. Does this not look like the greatest game ever conceived? Conceptually, yes it is. Otherwise…

Every once in a while I see a cheap game and based solely on the title or cover art, I will buy it, regardless of whether or not it probably sucks. Usually I do okay in this department. Bad Day LA, for example, is pretty bad, but it’s still playable, and even a little funnny at times. Ninjabread man, on the other hand, is not so spectacular.

I think it’s safe to say that Ninjabread Man’s biggest fault is the Wii. Being a ported PS2 game, developer Data Design clearly just tacked on motion controls to justify the port. But that’s their downfall. This game has awful, awful controls. Game-breaking controls. Firstly, you have to jostle the nunchuk to jump, which is a really bad idea. Then you swing the remote to attack, which wouldn’t be so bad, except for it only registers your swing like 30% of the time. The worst part? They had more than two buttons left over, so why can’t I turn off the motion controls? When they work, like in Zelda, motion controls are a great thing. In Ninjabread Man, they make the game almost unplayable.

Other complaints are far less important. For one, Ninjabread Man runs far too fast, and accelerates from 0 to 100 in about one second, which takes some getting used to. Also, the camera is a little janky, but that’s hardly an issue. On the positive side of things, the entire concept of the game is hilarious and I cannot express how much I would be able to tolerate it with a regular controller. But no. If you’re looking for comical ninja action, I suppose I-Ninja is still the way to go. Or you could just play Ninja Gaiden II on the Virual Console. You won’t laugh, but it’s a kickass game.

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