Mike’s back, Doug’s got a new site, and they broke Bomberman.
As for that fish business I mentioned yesterday, take a look at the “reproduction” section of this Wikipedia entry on anglerfish. Nature sure treats some males poorly. Kinda makes you appreciate human women. Kinda.
It’s been out for like ages now, and I finally got around to renting Super Mario Strikers yesterday. Long story short: best Mario sports game ever.
What we have here is a pretty basic game of soccer, only it’s been pumped full of adrenaline and awesome. The big differences between this and normal soccer games would be A) the use of items B) “super strikes” and C) the amount of hitting. As you can see by those few points, this game pushes the offense envelope farther than you might have expected. Items aren’t overly useful or varied, but they cause a lot of damage. Super strikes are basically guaranteed goals if you manage to get the timing down perfectly, and can cause some mind-bendingly high-scoring games. Lastly, there’s so much body-checking in this game that it’s nuts. Also, Bowser shows up every once in a while to royally mess up everybody’s shit.
Again, killer game. Tons of fun, and an excellent party game. It’s like the Super Smash Bros of sports titles. It’s even got some kickass robots. Highly recommended.
This dude has multiple personailities. Neither of them makes a very good argument.
Kickass (and super-tough) Bullet Bill game
Essential Super Mario Galaxy footage, for those fools who haven’t seen it yet.
It’s been too long since I linked to a sweet remix. Here’s some WoodMan goodness.
I had big plans to get some suff done around the site and at home during the weekend, but unfortunately, I made a decision that will probably take over my life for a good while to come. You see, on Friday afternoon, I started playing an MMORPG. MapleStory, to be precise. I’ve never been overly enthusiastic about even trying an MMO, never really seeing the point, but I got sucked into MapleStory really quick. With it’s unbelivably cute sprite graphics and simple platformer gameplay, it was a temptation that a gamer like myself can only resist for so long. I mean, it’s not get-up-and-call-everyone-you-know fun or anything, but you just can’t get away when you’re so close to that next level or just need another five grand for that sweet new armor. I now understand how people’s lives crumble while playing these games. Fortunately, my wireless network (which is made mostly of LEGOs and bubblegum) isn’t 100% stable, so it goes out for a minute now and then and kicks me off the game, which is actually a really good thing in that it keeps me from playing obsessively.
So in conclusion, I say give it a shot. It may not be super complex or all the rage like World of Warcraft, but it’s a fun little game, and will eat away the hours really quickly (if you need something for that purpose). I play on Cassiopea 2 if you do decide to try it out (or already play). Keep an eye out for RyanDS and maybe we’ll do that party thing people are always talking about.
Well, I really shouldn’t have to explain this again since it’s basically the same article I ran two weeks ago, but I do it every time for Chat Radio. What a sucker I am…
*Ahem* To get back to the point, this is simply a bunch of short reviews of various goodies I bought/obtained during the past week. I add “obtained” in there because in all honesty, there’s one item here that I didn’t pay a cent for. You’ll understand just why that’s such a good thing once you get that far. So that’s the summary done, I guess we’d better get to the real task at hand then.
If the world was more like Metal Gear Solid, my entire family would have had funny little question marks floating over their heads when they learned that I bought this. I’m willing to bet everyone else on the face of the earth would too. Fact is, I often wonder how well people think they know me. I’m not an overly complex guy, but certainly if even my family – people who interact with me every single day – couldn’t forsee me buying this CD, they obviously don’t know me too well, and I doubt anyone else does then. Oh well. Not that I’m complaining about it. I like having an air of mystery.
That said, the CD rocks. I’d review it myself, but I’d basically just be saying exactly what this review says. And I’m not one to plagiarize outside of homework.
That review does end with a question though, and I have an answer for it: Matthew good. Score: A+
A while back (presumably around the time the show started airing), the Mask started posting clips from a show called Wonder Showzen. Based on the name, at first I assumed it was some quirky Japanese show, but no. Turns out it’s an MTV spoof of Sesame Street. Or something like that anyway.
In any case, I really enjoy the show. It’s not top-tier stuff like Robot Chicken, but the two shows do have their similarities, such as being completely random and often quite offensive. The “main” skits are usually pretty funny and off-the-wall, and all the crap in the middle is great, like “Beat Kids” which has a kid dressed up as a reported asking people about dumb stuff (EX: asking “how was it?” as people leave a park restroom). The biggest problem I have with it is that the Clarence bits are funny, but tend to drag on and get annoying. Oh well. Also, the show can be… erm… insensitive towards those who are… weak of stomach. It’s nothing you won’t be able to handle if you’ve seen the dreaded “Tubgirl” image and lived though. Nowhere near that level of gross. Score: B+
As I was paying for my junk at HMV, the girl at the checkout suggested that I pick up one of these little things. She said it was for getting the shrink-wrap off CDs and DVDs and whatnot, and since it was only $1.50 and I hate shrink-wrap and she was cute, I decided to pick it up. I think I used the word “and” waaaay too much in that last sentence there.
I put the thing to work right away, opening my new wares. However, being the dumbass I am, I couldn’t get this overly simple contraption to work. Nope. Took me a good five minutes to figure the thing out. I really shouldn’t have told you that, but I really don’t have much else to say to fill this space. I guess mentioning that the thing works wonders is good way to do it though. Score: A+
I am many things. Slow, thick-headed, dense, witless, etc etc. I’m also a penny-pincher and a pushover, and both traits play a large role in this acquisition. You see, the checkout girl at HMV I mentioned just a little earlier also offered me this “sampler CD.” I knew damn well that it was a trap and likely filled with horrible music, but when put on the spot like that, and being the floor-mat I am, I also knew damn well that I was screwed. Luckily, she quickly added that it was free. Breathing a sigh of relief, I agreed to take one, and all was good.
The CD is pretty much garbage. I’ve only heard of one of the bands (Pilate, who are featured on the front), and I can’t say I’m going to worry too much about learning more about any of them. None of the songs are really bad per se, but almost all entirely forgettable, with the exception of Donovan Frankenreiter’s “Move By Yourself” which is way too funky not to like. Pilate isn’t too bad either, but at best, they’re a less boring version of U2. Score: C-
I don’t know if you’ve been keeping score at all, but I’ve been listening to all sorts of music outside my normal range as of the last few months, and hawksley Workman is one of the artists that I’ve really gotten into. He’s a Canadian indie rocker, and though I may have come off as critical of indie music in that last little CD review up there, this guy is really awesome.
I don’t usually buy music DVDs, even shows. In the past, there are only two that I’ve made exceptions for: Queen – Live at Wembley, because that’s like the greatest show ever performed, and HIM – Love Metal Archives Volume 1, because HIM rules. Now I’ve got a third, kind of a spontaneous purchase, but a good one nonetheless. I haven’t seen many live shows in my time, but I’ve listened to many live CDs and seen a lot of shows on TV, so I have a good appreciation of the general rule that bands either suck or rock onstage. At least I’ve never seen anyone do a middle-of-the-road performance. Anyway, Hawksley live is good stuff. He seems to have a little trouble getting all the words out, but I’ve seen many that have the same problem. He still puts on a good show, and I’d recommend this DVD to any fan. Score: B+
Recently, I was able to restore my personal computer to working order. It was quite a process, as that thing was seemingly screwed up beyond repair. Now that it’s in a better way – and beefed up with a new video card to boot – I’ve been putting it to good use as a gaming PC. Not that I play many PC games, but I need to use the damn thing for something.
Sadly, most of the games I play put a pretty strong emphasis on having a scroll wheel on your mouse, and my old mouse just couldn’t afford me that luxury. So I went out and picked up a cheap optical mouse. It’s pretty darn neat for a mouse too, as it’s all mini-sized and intended for a laptop. The scollball thing doesn’t work nearly as well as a real scroll wheel though. It seems to have something against scrolling down, but applying a little force gets it back in line (just like women!). That little bug aside, it works well, and I really like the tiny size. Also, my simple mind is totally amazed by the little dongle it comes with so you can plug it into a normal mouse port instead of USB. Good thing too, because my USB ports are always full… Score: A-
I’ll give it to you straight: If you liked any Super Mario Bros game before this, chances are that this is worth buying a DS for (this and all those other awesome DS games). But seriously, I haven’t played a video game this good since Super Mario World (because I like Yoshi’s Island and Mario 64 a little better), and I think that says a lot, because I play a hell of a lot of video games. It’s got all the charms of an old Mario game, and does so much awesome new stuff that I couldn’t even begin to describe its greatness in three paragraphs.
First of all, it’s clearly an homage to the games of yore, and a much better homage than simply porting those games. If you give it a shot, New Super Mario Bros will immediately win your heart. From the total lack of story (the princess is captured, Mario must save her) to the unnerving difficulty of some levels and obstacles, this game just oozes Super Mario. The 2D/3D look of the game is incredible, and makes use of some great effects, like morphing entire landscapes under your feet and growing Mario and enemies to gigantic size or shrinking them down to a size similar to that of one Edward Elric.
As you may have heard, there is a bit of an overabundance of extra lives. The game is tough, so you’ll be putting them to good use, but I doubt anyone with even a little skill will ever run out. The other small issue is that it opts to use that damned Bowser Jr over and over where the Koopa Kids would clearly fit very nicely. Dammit Nintendo, you need to listen to the fans more carefully! Do you know how happy we were when they showed up in Superstar Saga?
Anyway, Score: A++
That’s it for this week. I’m sorry I cooped out and did another mass review so soon after the last, but I’d just bought so much stuff that it would have been a waste not to do it. You know what? This apology is really more suited for the ol’ blog. Yeah. I’ll just wrap it up here then.
You may have heard a really high-pitched sqee of joy echoing around the world last night around 12:45. Yeah, that was me, after watching the Super Smash Bros Brawl trailer. I was already pumped for Wii due to the last two days of E3 coverage, but once I saw SSBB – and subsequently that Solid Snake would be a playable character – my head nearly exploded. Anyone who knows me remembers what I was like waiting for Super Smash Bros Melee to come out, and to them, I say that it’s gonna be like 20 times as bad this time around. HOLY FUCK I NEED THAT GAME NOW. With any luck, we’ll see some more playable Konami characters (like Django), and better Wii support from Konami than they gave the GC.
In other news, I was going to get me some breakfast yesterday, and I opened the pantry to an odd surprise. You see, up by where the cereal sits, there was a bag that looked mysteriously like a bag of dog food. I was bamboozled, but then took a closer look and saw that it was, in fact, cereal.
Wait… No. I’m the idiot. Upon closer inspection, the kangaroo is just their mascot that they tack onto every cereal. I wish I hadn’t looked up that website. That point was like the bulk of this post…
In conclusion, Marshmallow Mateys suck. They don’t taste horrible, but I’ve fostered enough distaste for Malt-O-Meal in the fifteen short minutes it took to write this that I’m going to say that all their products suck. Each and every one of their rip-off cereals (which are probably all touted to taste the same as the name-brand stuff).
I’ve been trying my damnedest to remain impartial to “the competition”, but as of today, I officially hate Sony. Why? Well, yesterday they announced that their Playstation 3 “Dual Shake” controller will have a tilt sensor. They razzed Nintendo when they revealed their “Wiimote” controller last year, and now they’re essentially trying to steal the idea because it’s been the most talked about thing since it was unveiled? That’s just plain despicable. What a bunch of dumb fucks.
On the other hand, as it turns out, the Wiimote is going to have a speaker in it to play local noises. So far the only example is how in Zelda: Twilight Princess (to have separate releases for Wii and Gamecube), an arrow’s sound goes from the Wiimote’s speaker to your TV’s speaker as it gets further away, but it seems like a really neat feature. It’s no VMU, but it’ll add a nice extra layer of depth if used properly/enough. Okay, now it’s back to E3 coverage for me. Catch ya later.
E3 starts tomorrow, but I’ve got something else on my mind at the moment: Guitar Hero 2. A couple days ago, the first few tracks in the game were revealed, which got me thinking about which songs I’d like to see. So with the revealed tracks ignored, here’s my dream track list for Guitar Hero 2 (Not necessarily in order of difficulty, but arranged in such groups).
Tom Cochrane – Life Is A Highway
BTO – Takin’ Care Of Business
Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band- Roll Me Away
Span – Baby’s Come Back
Colin James – Chicks and Cars
Styx – Blue Collar Man
Firehouse – Lover’s Lane
Journey – Line Of Fire
The Doors – Peace Frog
Poison – Look What The Cat Dragged In
Motley Crue – Kickstart My Heart
Tesla – Don’t De-Rock Me
Story of the Year – Wake Up The Voiceless
Matthew Good – North American For Life
Guns N Roses – My Michelle
TSOL – Everybody’s A Cop
Headstones – Cemetary
Heart – If Looks Could Kill
Kansas – Carry On Wayward Son
Loverboy – Hot Girls In Love
Harlequin – I Did It For Love
Nazareth – Razamanaz
Kiss – Psycho Circus
Rush – Closer To The Heart
Van Halen – Unchained
Thrice – The Artist In The Ambulance
Trooper – The Boys In The Bright White Sports Car
Def Leppard – Rock Brigade
Whitesnake – Here I Go Again
Lostprophets – A Million Miles
Note the inclusion of more than one Canadian band. At least Rush is confirmed for GH2.
I did a little shopping over the past week, and rather than talk about each item separately in the blog as I usually do, I figured I’d take a page from Mike’s book and do a mass review of the stuff I bought. It just seems so much easier that way, and you only have to sit through one boring article rather than four boring bog posts. Everyone’s a winner! Except you. And everyone but me. So in conclusion, I’m the only winner.
Now, many of you should know that I really love Boston. I mean, they’re a fricking sweet band, how could I not? In any case, most fans think that Boston’s releases went downhill after their second, Don’t Look Back. I’ll admit that Third Stage was a little weaker than I’d hoped for, but Walk On is awesome.
The disc is split into three parts. The first three songs are kickass, even if “Surrender to Me” was featured on Don’t Look Back. The second part of the disc is the “Walk On Medley”, a set of four songs that could stand on their own, but come together to make what could very well be the rockingest 12-something minutes ever recorded. The last set of songs is a bit weak and forgettable, but that’s forgivable due to the high quality of the rest of the album. Hell, the “Walk On Medley” alone is worth the purchase price (which was about $12). Seriously. It was basically the reason I bought the album in the first place. Also, I really love “Surrender To Me”. Score: A
The most expensive item on the list, totaling up to about $40, is a game I’ve been looking forward to for a while. Why? Well, to be honest, the DS doesn’t exactly have a great catalogue of fighting games. The only one I had before this was Jump SuperStars, and as great as that game is, it wasn’t going to last me forever and I don’t feel like importing Bleach and it’ll still be awhile until King of Fighters DS is released.
But now it sounds like I’m making an excuse for buying it. That would be because it hasn’t exactly been getting the greatest of reviews. they say it’s too far from the base GG material or something, but I’m not seeing what’s so wrong with it. Granted, my only previous GG experience is with Guilty Gear Advance, but I loved that game immensely. GGDS seemed like the next logical step. I’ve been playing it a lot since I got it, and I’m very much enjoying it. Of course, I’m pretty crap at fighting games (makes you wonder why I love them so much), but I’m even starting to get reasonably good at this one.
Basically, the game takes the base fighting game mechanics (think Street Fighter, but cooler) and tries to cross-breed them with Super Smash Bros. This ends up with multi-tiered stages, items, and up to four fighters. It’s a little more hectic than your run-of-the-mill fighter, but I’m convinced that it works. Word on the street is that Guilty Gear Isuka for PS2 works in a similar fashion. The only thing that they forgot to implement was Wi-Fi multiplayer, which is strange considering how long it was delayed for.
Aside from the fighting, there are a handful of touch-screen minigames, all of which are kinda dumb and/or hard except for one. Their only purpose if to unlock movesets for a single customizable character. And speaking of which, those would be the only unlockables in the game. It’s odd for a fighting game not to have a small warehouse worth of unlockables in this day and age, but I don’t think that the game suffers any because of it. Mostly because I’d never be able to get half the stuff unless it were time-released or something else not relating to skill. Score: B+
Have you read my Bust-A-Move article? That alone should really be enough to justify why I dropped $20 on BAMDS. I mean, why not? It’s portable Bust-A-Move, which in itself is worth even $30. Not to mention that the damn game has been out since December or so and this was the first time I’d seen it anywhere. A chance encounter is all it was, and I couldn’t have hoped for better.
So how is it? It’s friggin’ Bust-A-Move! Do I really need to tell you how it is? To be honest though, it is a little tricky to get used to. See, the D-pad is way oversensitive for Bust-A-Move, and there’s no control stick, so what’s a guy to do? Well duh, this is the DS we’re talking about. Obviously you get to aim with the touch screen, which works awesome once you get the hang of it, which takes maybe five minutes tops. Also it features 5-player single-card multiplayer. Top notch!
One odd thing to note is that both DS games I picked up were made by Majesco. What a silly coincidence. Score: A
I saw this game one time at Superstore and I was like “Holy crap! New Capcom survival horror game!” but it was like $35 and I didn’t feel like taking that chance. Luckily, while I was perusing the games down at the Best Buy, I found it for a meager $20. That was more like it! While it was clearly more of a budget title, I was pleasantly satisfied with Obscure, so my susceptibility to a cheap survival horror game was at it’s highest.
I haven’t played very far yet, but for what it’s worth, I’m very much enjoying Haunting Ground. If you’ve ever played a Clock Tower game, you’ll have a very good idea of how this one goes down. If not, here’s the lowdown: you’re a (rather busty) girl trapped in a big spooky castle being stalked by a big spooky ogre-man. The catch? No weapons. Unlike most survival horror games, Haunting Ground really emphasizes the survival bit by leaving you almost completely unarmed, save a few defensive items to help slow down your stalkers. Unlike Clock Tower though, you are aided by a friendly dog who will attack your assailants for you, but it’s still more of a run-and-hide game.
I probably just suck at it, but I’m finding this game almost as difficult as it is entertaining. That damn ogre-man is a lot more persistent than I need him to be, but it does add a good bit of fun to the game, as it’s always more rewarding to complete a difficult task than an easy one. The dog is also really cool. He’s animated really well, easily the best video game dog I’ve seen to date. Oh, and he acts like a real dog too, with the not listening to you when he doesn’t feel like it and all. The scenery is also insanely pretty too. If you like graphics, you’ll love this game to no end. If you like gameplay, you’ll like the game too, but maybe not quite as much. Sadly, the music is little more than atmosphere… And speaking of atmosphere, the game builds so much tension that lesser men will pop while playing it. Score: B
So I think I’m dying. Or really malnourished. I’m not too sure. Anyway, time for more important matters.
The new New Super Mario Bros video is up. It’s really looking good, but upon closer inspection of the bottom screen, the levels seem to be a little short. Let’s just hope it ends up being as good as Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World.
I shouldn’t have to remind you, but E3 starts in a week. It’s gonna be an awesome show, because we’re finally going to see some Revolution Wii games. Hearing all this talk about Red Steel and Madden 2007 (which sounds like it’s going to be really sweet) is all well and good, but I need something I can really sink my teeth into. Like maybe a video or two of the new Super Smash Bros game. Anything from Nintendo would be nice, really. This is going to be even better than the E3 where they showed off all the Gamecube stuff. It’s bringing back memories of the time before the GC was released, where my friend and I would just sit at IGN and refresh every minute in hopes that some new screenshots or videos would be added. Ah, good times. Good times.
In other news, I may have an article tomorrow. I may not. Depends on how I feel today. And also if I spend the whole day sleeping, like I have been for the last 4 days. Damn overnight shift broke me good. Thank God it’s almost over.
