24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 5: Christmas Vacation

It’s Saturday night, you’re stuck at home, there’s a blizzard raging on outside. What are you to do? Curl up on the couch under a big blanket with a moose mug full of egg nog, and watch yourself some National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. That’s what you’re to do.

This may surprise you, but I actually only watched Christmas Vacation for the first time last year. Yup. 30 years later, I finally got around to it. Though it didn’t really feel like I was only watching it for the first time, since I’ve absorbed so much of the film through constant pop culture references. Dinosaur Dracula has had a lot to do with that.

I was worried a little bit when I first popped it on. I didn’t want to watch this beloved classic, which I have only ever heard good things about, and end up not liking it. Fortunately, that didn’t come to pass. I don’t think that Christmas Vacation is quite so good that it belongs in the pantheon of timeless classics, but I certainly enjoyed it enough that I intend on adding it to my list of Holiday Must-Watch Movies. And I’m sure that my appreciation for it will only increase with repeated viewings.

Please note that while I do intend to recommend more movies throughout this feature, this is the only one that’s an actual Christmas- and/or Other Holiday-themed film. The rest are set during Christmastime, but it’s not an overly important facet of any of the plots. Care to venture a guess at what they might be?

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 4: Donate!

I don’t know how many times I’m going to reiterate this over the next few weeks, but the 2020 holiday season is totally different than usual. Stores are locked down or closed completely, people are losing jobs left and right, and we’re being encouraged not to get together to celebrate. It’s not terribly conducive to the whole gift-giving tradition.

So in a world where the economy is peering over the edge of a cliff, maybe there are better ways to go about spending way too much money? Well, there’s never a bad time to donate. People all over the world are always in need of help, and this time of year is certainly no exception. This can be the year where you throw some money at an organization that will help some less fortunate people have a better holiday season. It’s the most advertised time of year to be charitable, after all.

It doesn’t even need to be money. Find some things around the house that you don’t need and take them to a donation centre. There are always food collections going on that you can chuck a few boxes of cereal or cans of vegetables into. You could go donate blood, even. People always need blood. I don’t know how many volunteering opportunities are currently available given the state of the world, but you can use some of your quarantine time surplus to look into it. I’m not doing your research for you.

I don’t have a holiday donation plan yet, myself, but it’s been something I’ve been putting some thought into. I tend to make smaller donations to multiple organizations over the course of the year, so my charity budget is often emptied by the time December rolls around. I always make a contribution to the food collection at work, so that’s something. I really like knowing that what I’m giving is so directly helping a family that needs it.

The point is: find a cause that means something to you and make a donation. Don’t sweat the value, every bit of help is important. If you need some suggestions, I just happen to have some links right here!

Charity Intelligence Canada

United Way Canada

Canadian Foodgrains Bank

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 2: Holiday Playlist

Music plays a huge part in the lives of most people. Whether you’re jamming to your favourite tunes on your morning commute, being drawn into a film by an expertly composed score, or performing a dance of worship to the tune of tribal drums and chanting, music is an integral part of humanity.

That’s why when I hear someone say “I’m not interested in music” I know for sure that they’re an alien impostor.

One particularly important facet of music is how effectively it can set a mood. So today, your job is to go out and add a bunch of wintry or holiday-themed music to your phone or whatever. Listening to tunes that evoke the right feelings is a great way to put yourself in the spirit of the season. Of course, overdoing it can send you careening in the opposite direction (working at Toys R Us made me hate Christmas music for many years), so just be mindful not to go overboard.

I’m sure that Average Jo/e will just hit up the standards, but that’s boring. You don’t need seventeen versions of “White Christmas” or “Jingle Bell Rock”. You don’t need any versions of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. Just forget that nonsense. It’s overdone and basic as heck. Look for something more thoughtful and/or creative.

The Purple Stuff Podcast currently has five episodes (for reference: 17, 36, 46, 57, and 66) that are dedicated to songs that may be good for getting you in the holiday spirit. Not every choice is a winner, but I appreciate the breadth of options presented, and will certainly bring a few into my own playlist. I’m also pretty hype for the inevitable 2020 entry into the series!

Another avenue you probably haven’t considered: video games usually have pretty well-suited tunes in their ice/snow levels. In particular, I’d like to point out that remixer Qumu has a nice little playlist of holiday-themed mixes of video game songs on their YouTube channel. I’m a huge fan of Qumu, and highly recommend checking out the playlist. And also the channel in general, but that’s besides the point.

My last recommendation is a single track: “Shiro no Tairiku” from Xenoblade Chronicles X, which translates to “Land of White”. The daytime variant is so pretty; very subdued and played mostly on chimes and a xylophone (I think) to really bring out the character of the snowy Sylvalum continent. The night-time version comes alive, adding more strings, drums, and a flute to the mix. It’s one of my favourite video game themes of all-time. While it may not fit the season especially well, Xenoblade X is a game that I strongly associate with wintertime and Xmas, so it’s always at the forefront of my mind during this time of year.

Of course, these are just a few recommendations. A handful of starting points for you to go out and explore the wide world of holiday-ish music offerings that aren’t just more awful covers of “Santa Baby”. Snarkiness aside, put whatever songs you want on there. It’s your holiday playlist, so obviously it should be tailored to whatever is going to best get you excited about the season.

24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 1: Decorate!

2020 has been, to put it lightly, an odd year. With many people trapped at home, and the rest of us basically unable to do anything because everything is closed, we’re all left to our own devices to keep ourselves entertained. And I’m sure that many folks have gotten bored with their entertainment devices.

I wanted to do another “24 Days of” feature this year, and it seemed like a good time to bring back the theme of “materialism” since all we can do with our live anymore is buy crap online that might help to while away the hours. But also, I’m not buying a whole lot of crap these days, which is forcing me to come up with something more creative.

And so, here we have a feature whose goal is to provide 24 ways to keep yourself busy during Holiday Lockdown. Said busywork may include video games, books, recipes, crafts, and who knows what else I’ll be able to come up with. Probably not much. Look forward to lots of video games.

Continue reading 24 Days of Quarantine Fun – Day 1: Decorate!

Merry Belated Xmas?

I guess I’m a little late on this one. But I have an… excuse. Not really a good reason, because while I was otherwise occupied for all the waking hours of the 23rd, 24th, and 25th of December, I didn’t do jack squat yesterday. I could have mashed together some kind of holiday greeting-type post.

But I didn’t, so now it’s two days past Christmas and I just feel like it’s too late to bother backdating anything. Not that anyone would know. But I would know, and that’s enough. The shame would be too great.

What I can backdate, however, is the long overdue Top Ten Video Games of 2018 article that I fully wrote and never posted earlier this year because of the possibility of website doom. But it’s there now! Another reason I had delayed posting it is because I wanted to do illustrations and never made the time. So I just ended up throwing some doodles in there instead. Maybe the Top Ten of 2019 will fare better! (I doubt it.)

The 13th, on a Friday!

It wasn’t until just today that it occurred to me, that of the 11 Friday the 13th films, not one of them is set at Christmastime. And while that’s fine, it seems like a missed opportunity. Doing the usual thing, but with a holiday theme, would be a easy sequel gimmick.

So I just picked one randomly to watch tonight, and ended up going with part 9: Jason Goes to Hell. Well, maybe not entirely randomly. I partly chose this one because it’s my least-watched entry in the series. I’m reasonably sure I’ve only seen it the one time. Twice at the very most.

There are lots of things to say about Jason Goes to Hell, but the important one is that it’s probably the most creative sequel of the bunch, narratively (I’d listen to arguments in favour of Part 5, though). This film posits that Jason is not, in fact, an immortal zombie who is back again, but rather a demonic being that can hop between bodies as necessary. They don’t use the body-hopping conceit as effectively as they could have (there’s never even an attempt at hiding Jason’s identity), but at least it gives a slightly less flimsy excuse than usual as to why he’s always back again.

The film kicks off in an unorthodox fashion, with the FBI trapping and exploding Jason into itty-bitty giblets. This is interesting, because it goes against the tried-and-true horror trope of nobody but the protagonist believing that the monster is real. This suggests that Jason’s rampage in the previous film (Jason Takes Manhattan) was severe and public enough that the government was forced to acknowledge it and take action. And I find that fascinating. Because I love overthinking silly horror movie plots.

Then it goes into some voodoo malarkey about how Jason had a secret sister, and that only someone from his bloodline can kill him for real. And now that the audience knows this, Jason does a hard pivot after a decade of random murder and starts homing in on his sister and niece. It’s also noteworthy that Jason has never been quite this smart before, as he uses his new body-snatching ability to strategically get himself close to his prey without drawing too much attention.

The body-swap is also very bad news for whoever is on the recieving end. Getting posessed by a murder-zombie is bad enough, but when he moves into a new person, the previous host regains consciousness for a minute before slowly and painfully melting into a puddle of goop. But it should be no surprise thag having an evil spirit take up temporary residence inside you will take a real toll on your body.

Anyway, Jason Goes to Hell might actually be one of the best Friday the 13th films just by virtue of having an actual plot. It’s not a great plot by any metric, but it gives the characters real motivation. This in turn means that there’s more to this movie than just waiting to see what creative way Jason uses to kill the next hapless teen. This may be the only sequel in the series where the plot doesn’t just get in the way of escalating kill scenes. I was hoping to exclaim that it also has character development, but no, that doesn’t happen. The main guy has a soft arc where he learns to stop being a coward, but that’s really it.

If I have to level one complaint at Jason Goes to Hell, it’s going to be that the final scene straight up doesn’t work anymore, due to the ravages of time. At the end, our heroes walk away into the sunrise as the wind blows dust and debris over Jason’s mask – all that is left of him after he’s pulled down to Hell by a throng of It From The Pit hands (amazing scene BTW). It’s at this point that the canny horror fan will expect Jason’s hand to rise from the earth and reclaim the mask, assuring audiences that another sequel is on the way. But we get a curveball when instead it’s Freddy Krueger’s hand that emerges and pulls the mask into the ground with his signature cackle. No doubt this was a major surprise back in 1989, but now that Freddy vs Jason has happened (and how long it took to happen), there’s no shock value and you’re just left thinking about how it doesn’t make any GD sense from a lore perspective.

There actually was something else that I thought warranted criticizm, but I forgot what it was while writing the previous paragraph, so I it couldn’t have been especially bad. There’s a ridiculous scene near the end where Jason is reborn with a fresh, new… decaying zombie body… but I actually like that scene because of how stupid it is.

At the end of the day, the important thing is that I’ve gained a new appeciation for this film. I may be one of the few, though, as Jason Goes to Hell was not well-received by critics (obvi) or regular filmgoers. They called the plot incoherent and didn’t like the supernatural angle, but I think that as the ninth entry in a series with little in the way of innovation, it was a noble attempt to try to add a little freshness. Maybe they didn’t stick the landing, or a lot of what came before the landing, but I like that someone cared enough to try.

Merry Xmas!

And Happy Other Holidays from your good pal, Ryan.

As a Xmas gift to all my loyal reader, here’s a video game review that I wrote in November but didn’t ever get around to proofreading or posting. Enjoy!


Once October rolled around, my plan was to put any games I was currently playing aside and focus on more spooky fare. Then I continued to spend most of my gaming time on Picross games and Monster Hunter anyway. Because I am incorrigible.

I did manage to mash a few spooky games in anyway (see the Monthend Wrap-Up for deets), and one of those games was Hollow. This is a first-person shooter with a sci-fi horror theme, and if I had to review it in a single sentence, it would be this:

What if Dead Space was kinda crappy?

Continue reading Merry Xmas!

The 24 Days of Gluttony : Day 24 – Sasquatch Stout

It’s here. Xmas Eve. And it came so much faster than it ever has before. Whether that’s because I’m old and jaded, or because I’ve been so damned busy, I don’t know for sure. Perhaps it’s a combination of both.

Whatever the case may be, thank the Buddha this friggin’ feature is over.

Sasquatch Stout is our final entry for Xmas 2018, and it’s a doozy. My youngest brother bought me a can of this gimmick beer for Xmas last year, and to get straight to the point, I hope I’ll never have to drink it ever again.

If you’ll take a close look at the bottom of the can, you’ll see that this is a beer with the flavours of “coffee, chocolate, and mystery.” I’ve never had a chocolate beer before, and based on Half Pints’ Stir Stick Stout I am of the opinion that coffee and beer are a terrible pairing. But then there’s the third part. Mystery. I don’t know if that’s them being cute because of sasquatch theme, or if it’s really saying that there’s some unlisted flavour going on here. It doesn’t really matter though, because this stuff is awful. As I said before, coffee-flavoured beer is gross alone, but the chocolate only exacerbates the poor flavour combo, and if that mystery is actually a flavour, it’s indecipherable and also does nothing to help.

Yet despite how disgusting I found it, apparently Sasquatch Stout was voted “Best Beer in Canada” back in 2014. So I guess I just have no sense of taste when it comes to beer.

On the other hand, I’m somewhat forced to adore this beer on account of it’s a sasquatch-themed beer. It’s such a tragedy that such a wonderful creature sould end up the namesake of such a crap-tastic beverage..Poor sasquatch. I still love you, big guy. Just not your beer.