Category: Film

It’s a gas

My latest contribution to the cesspool of hentai and retards that is the internet is up. It’s dated for tomorrow, but whatever. I didn’t spellcheck it either, so be prepared for barge-sized loads of typos. Overall it’s about as half-assed as the covered subject, really.

In better news, I finally got around to watching Man With The Screaming Brain this afternoon. I bought it like two months ago, and only now sat down to watch it. I find that happens quite often, actually. But anyway, it was a rather quirky movie. It’s about this American businessman who goes on a busniess trip to Bulgaria, and winds up with rather severe brain damage. To fix it, this crazy doctor replaces half of his brain with that of an ex-KGB agent. Hilarity and robots ensue. I pretty much just bought it because it’s written/directed/produced by Bruce Campbell, and he also happens to play the main character. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this like a jillion times, but Bruce Campbell’s my hero. Anyway, good movie, and I heartily recommend it. Even better than Bubba Ho-Tep.

And oh, hey, only one Wiik to go. God that was a terrible pun.

I’ll do anything for money

So yesterday was pretty good for me. First of all, I finally finally got my dumb driver’s license. So I’m basically not a loser anymore. Awesome.

More importantly, I went to see the Trailer Park Boys movie. It’s was pretty much the best movie ever. Plenty of stuff for fans of the show, and very accessible to those who’ve never even heard of it. But yeah, it was freakin’ sweet. Any movie that has Rush’s “Spirit Of Radio” as the title catch is a winner in my books. Oh, and it was funny too. Damn funny. Makes Talladega Nights look like Macbeth.

Am I just a fool

While cruising the ol’ wikipedia, I came across this. Maybe it’s just me, but this sounds like an awesome movie. Having Jerry Seinfeld, Patrick Warburton, and John Goodman alone make it worth seeing, but there’s so many other talents on there that I’d see it for the VA roster alone. And I never ever see movies because of who’s in them.

I’ve been meaning to get a couple more blog essays done (got two good ones in mind), but I don’t know when those are going to take place. Maybe never, maybe this week (that’s what I’m shooting for). We’ll have to see.

Look at the hottie in the tight jeans

I watched The Bechwarmers the other night. It was surprisingly good. I mean, it’s not something I would buy, but I’ll recommend renting it. Dick and fart jokes, plenty of slapstick, and mucho vomit. Exactly what I look for in a dumb movie. Plus a bunch of good names. I’m not a huge Rob Schneider fan, but he, David Spade and Jon Heder do a commendable job on this one.

Bought me a buttload of CDs over the last couple days. Four, actually, but I defy you to load your butt with more than four CDs. Bad Religion’s The Empire Strikes First is fan-frickin-tastic, and Thrice’s Red Sky EP headbutts women in the ovaries for fun. The other two (Resident Evil Soundtrack, OK Go’s Oh No) are less notable, but I like them enough to have bought them. I also finally found a copy of The Alpahbet of Manliness. Needless to say, it’s the best book I’ve read since… Well, probably ever.

Lastly for today, I will wipe any doubt that I don’t kick major ass from your mind. Behold:

click for king-size

Frankly, “Bark At The Moon” was a bitch, but otherwise, I think I’m getting pretty good. I’m not going anywhere near Expert mode though. Not until I five-star everything on Hard, at least. It literally frightens me.

Lookin’ forward to a little afternoon delight

Went to see Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night. As expected, it was excellent. Might have even been better than Anchorman, and damn do I love Anchorman. It’s the only movie (I own) that I’ve watched more than four times (aside from the original Star Wars trilogy). Anyway, Talladega. It’s hilarious, the actors are excellent, and it’s even got a badass soundtrack. There’s nothing not to enjoy. Maybe they drag a couple jokes out for too long, but other than that, there isn’t anything to complain about. Oh, and since it’s a NASCAR movie, there’s plenty of product shilling, which is normally kind of annoying, but it’s a NASCAR movie, so you really can’t complain, as NASCAR is like the biggest sellout… thing… ever. And they play a lot of jokes off the product placement too, so it works out. Not like that damned Will Smith. Like I care about stupid Converse.

So in conclusion, um, yeah, go see it. It’s worth the (x) dollars, and I know I’m going to be paying another (x) dollars when it’s released on DVD. Maybe then I’ll finally pick up Old School too. Been meaning to get that for quite some time now…

Just let me sleep

I found a great review of FFVII: Advent Children. Yeah it’s a little out-of-date, but a good read no less. Find it here.

In video game news, I’ve been enjoying two of my favourite games from the last generation, Super Mario 64 and MegaMan Legends. What this has to do with any thing, I can’t really tell you. What I do know is that I’m a little surprised at how much better those two games can hold my attention than most from the current generation. I even spent 6 straight hours playing Castlevania: Symphony of the Night some weekends ago, and I can rarely play a single game for two hours straight these days. I bought MGS3:Subsistence a few months ago, and I’m still not even halfway through it. Even the oh-so-lovable Katamari Damacy can only keep me occupied for about an hour at a time. Are games really getting less interesting? It can’t be me, because I can still sit down for hours with the classics and most handheld games. Who knows? Maybe it’s just a phase. I can very much see myself not leaving the house (my room?) for long periods of time once that Wii thing makes its way into my living space. End ramblings.

I can’t surf

They’re making a Castlevania movie. I hope it’s awesome and spawns enough sequels to get up to a Curse of Darkness story…

You know what else pleases me to no end? Mario Hoops 3-on-3. I don’t care at all for basketball, but the fact that Square-Enix is developing it just makes me giggle. Also, it looks rather pretty too.

And last for today, check this out. Neat marketing scheme, no?

I’m droppin’ plates on your ass, bitch

I finally got around to checking out last week’s Potoshop Phriday, and I nearly burst laughing at this particular submission…

Yeah, I know. I’m a huge nerd.

So last week I watched Hostel. Frankly, I was quite disappointed. To be fair, I guess I was just expecting too much. I mean, there was plenty of gore and flinchy moments, but to tell the truth, it was rather boring. The whole first half of the movie was establishing plot and whatnot, and by the time it got to the good stuff, I had already picked up my DS and was halfway immersed in New Super Mario Bros. Like I said, I was expecting a lot, and it just couldn’t live up to the magnificent movie I had imagined. I don’t want to completely badmouth it though, because it was pretty fucking depraved and bloody, and I was quite pleased with that much. The characters were pretty flimsy for how much time they tried to spend building them up, and as such you really don’t care who dies or not. That, I think, was what really ruined it for me, because I like having someone to root for. On the upside, a bunch of kids beat a man’s skull in with a rock at one point, and that was pretty cool. I also watched The Hills Have Eyes, and that was an awesome movie in all respects. More on that one some other day though.

Spring is nice in Canada

Two notes for today. Firstly, I changed my main banner. Those of you who already got it probably have a little more respect for me, for those of you who don’t get it, I saw The Boondock Saints yesterday. It was a fricking awesome movie. The banner won’t be permanent, but it needed to be changed up a little. I think this one gets it all across: truth, justice, and humour.

The second note is for those who read the Mate1 article. In the end, I did end up getting some feedback from someone who read my profile and Googled TE. I’m sure more is yet to come, but right now, I’m simply ecstatic that my plan worked. Take THAT, Mate1. Ryan = win.

Lastly, anyone who’s come here because you read my Mate1 profile, my e-mail address is on the bottom of the sidebar. I assume that’s what you’re here for. Just keep in mind this one thing: no fat chicks.