When autumn attacks

So you may have noticed that there’s something different about this here blog. New glasses? A haircut? Nope! I finally bit the bullet and upgraded to the Weaver II theme, which is fairly close to the old theme, Weaver.

Well, I suppose the sequel should look kinda similar.

Anyway, I’ve also gone and painted the site in autumny leaf colours. Which was my original intent when I logged in today. The theme change just kind of happened as a side effect. I’m not sure about some of the specific colour choices, but I love the overall fall motif. If you can point out a change or two that might enhance it further, please don’t hesitate to leave a suggestion in the comments. I’m still tweaking things here and there, so it’s not like you’d be raining on my parade or anything.

While I was all mucking about with the visual options, I also managed to fart out a little article. I still need to proof it, and it should be up on Wednesday at the latest. Spoilers: it’s a short album review, so don’t get too excited.

Autumn’s Here

You can tell
By the wind
By fresh cut wood
All stacked to dry
That autumn’s here
It makes you sad
About the crummy
Summer we had
With pine trees creaking
The ravens screeching
Just like the story
My grandma tells
About when a bird
Hits your window
Someone you know
Is about to die
But autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
It’s okay if
You want to cry
Cause autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
Autumn’s here

So find a sweater
And you’ll be better
Until the kindling
Is tinder dry
We can be quiet
As we walk down
To see the graveyard
Where they are now
I wonder how
They brought their piano
To Haldane Hill
From Old Berlin
Be hard to keep it
It well in tune
With winters like the one
That’s coming soon

Cause autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
It’s time to cry now
That autumn’s here
That autumn’s here
That autumn’s here
It’s okay if you want to cry
Cause autumn’s here

I think that ghosts like
The cooler weather
When leaves turn colour
They get together
And walk along these
These old back roads
Where no one lives and
And no one goes
With all their hopes set
On the railway
That never came and
So no one stayed
I guess that autumn
Gets you remembering
And the smallest things
Just make you cry

Autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
It’s time to cry
Cause autumn’s here
Woah-oh
Autumn’s here
Autumn’s here
It’s okay now
Cause autumn’s here

Pop-Time (S’mores)

So as it turns out, my Pop-Tarts review videos are pretty popular! Not like, a million views popular, but a bunch of them have gotten over 100 views, and that’s more than I expect anything I put on YouTube to accomplish. I mean sure, a bunch of that can be web-bots, but a bunch of actual blood-and-guts people who I know are fans and have let me know that they eagerly await every new entry, so good for me. I have all the happys.

This is coming at the perfect time too, because I’ve been slipping into the Why-Do-I-Even-Bothers a lot lately re: producing web content, and getting first-hand praise for a thing I create really makes it all worth it. Hell, if even only one person told me that they dig the Pop-Tarts vids, I’d be delighted to no end. Now I just need to find an audience for this blog crap and my LP videos and I’m set. Unfortunately, interest in one of my ventures does not seem to spill over into the others. Oh well!

Anyway, to celebrate, here’s the most popular episode Ryan’s Pop-Tarts Review to date, embedded right in the page for your not-leaving-this-tab pleasure!

Oh, and if you like ’em too, follow me on Twitter (@TheRyanDS) to make sure you catch each episode ASAP.

What is life like, if not a hurricane?

If you’re into video games at all, it’s very important that you go and buy yourself some DuckTales Remastered as soon as possible. It’s currently available on something you own (Wii U, PC, PS3), so you’ve got no excuses. Do it.

Okay, so you need a little more convincing? Let’s start with the first thing you’ll notice: the spectacular soundtrack. I’m not even exaggerating here; the DuckTales R soundtrack needs to be on iTunes yesterday so that I can be listening to it at all time. Made up mostly of remixes of the original game’s soundtrack, DuckTales R’s music puts pretty much every other retro release’s tunes to shame. It certainly helps that the original soundtrack was pretty damn amazing to begin with, but the arrangements take it to a whole new level.

The title screen music, an instrumental arrangement of the DuckTales theme, is so good that I left the game sitting on the title screen, plugged my headphones into the Wii U gamepad, and just listened to it over and over while I played Animal Crossing: New Leaf for a while. Sound crazy? You won’t think so once you’ve listened to it. Don’t even get me started on the Moon remix. Ducktales R’s soundtrack goes all the way past “memorable” into “infectious.”

The visual style is interesting, and the best thing I can say about it is that it features Wayforward’s beautiful spritework galore. Unfortunately, those sprites live in a 3D world, which is a mish-mash that I’ve never really cared for. I’d much prefer 2D stages as well, but whatever. It looks good, and that’s all that matters.

It’s probably important for me to note that the game is kinda tough. Like, not unbearably tough, but probably enough that you’re going to see the game over screen a few times. Of course, you could always just do like me and play on the Easy Mode For Babies difficulty, and just soak up all the goodness that the game has to offer. I’ll move up to tougher levels eventually, but on my first run, the goal was just to experience the game.

I also chose easy because I’ve never really played the original games on the NES, so I was going in more or less blind. I knew what the game would be like, because I’ve watched at least one video LP of the original, but that was ages ago and this is a pretty different game. The core mechanics of using Scrooge’s cane as a pogo-stick and golf club are the exact same and super fun, but I’m,fairly sure that the levels have been slightly reorganized, with new “modern video game” events speckled throughout each one. Like a fight atop a biplane, and a treasure hunt for a bunch of coins that function as an overcomplicated key. They’re all pretty well in the spirit of the game, so none of the additions feel clumsily shoehorned in. They’re integrated so well, in fact, that if I hadn’t done any research I wouldn’t know which parts are new.

Ducktales Remastered is not universally praised, however. It’s kind of a shame, but I think a lot of people were just expecting too much, or something completely different. There is a pretty vocal group of critics complaining that it’s too hard, but those people are just Stupid Whiny Babies. And then there are the people who are complaining about the cutscenes.

Yes, Ducktales Remastered has cutscenes. And they are glorious. They are fully-voiced by the original actors from DuckTales, and they are pretty darn funny. They make each level of the game seem more like an episode of the cartoon. Yet people are dercying them, and how hard it is to skip them. Wait, what? Yeah. You need to press two buttons to skip cutscenes, and this is a real thing that real people are complaining about. I love the interent as a tool for information and communication, but damn has it made people into whiny, entitled… well, tools. Or maybe they were like that before and you just didn’t ahve to hear ’em.

Anyway, DuckTales Remastered = Good Times, and is totally worth the slightly-higher-than-I-had-expected price tag. Honestly though, $15 is pretty good. If they’d put this in a box you know it’d be double that at least. I’d call that a bargain. Maybe not the best I ever had though.

The Amazing Spider-Man Mega Egg

I’m going to start on a tangent and hope that it decreases how many more crop up later on in this article. Holy crap, it has been forever since I did any actual work in MS Paint. That banner up there? No Photoshop involved. Not that it’s hard to tell. I think it turned out pretty nice though, in an ironic lo-fi sort of way. It took me like half an hour to put that border around the blue text. I miss my “stroke” layer style.

There. Now that that’s out of my system, let’s move on the actual intro.

You may remember that in the spring of last year, I wrote an article about a Star Wars Mega Egg. If you don’t, maybe go check that one out first, and then come back and read this one. We’ll wait for you. I don’t know if it’s really compulsory reading, but I’m considering this article a sequel to it, so you might as well bone up on the TE canon. Or something. I totally forgot what I was trying to get at with this paragraph.

Oh, right. I was initialy trying to lead into something about how the SWME (I pronounce it “swum-ee”) brang about an article renaissance here on TE. How it heralded a new age of me sometimes writing articles about things that are not video games. But that’s boring and not really relevant, so maybe I’ll just start trying to get to the point.

Back in July, when I was in Lac du Bonnet for the annual Canada Day celebrations, I made the yearly pit stop into The Bargain Shop to check out their wares, procure a buttload of candy to eat while waiting for the fireworks to start, and maybe find something interesting enough to write about. Of course, this might sound like a somewhat familiar story to you. If you’ve been reading TE for a while, it really should. I do this every year, and I write about it almost every year, whether or not I actually find anything.

Continue reading The Amazing Spider-Man Mega Egg

Delicious recipe for disaster

You know what I don’t talk about often enough? TV. Seriously, look up everything under the “idiot box” category and… seventy entries? Okay, well I guess I do TV more often than I thought. Well, now my intro hook is dead. Way to go, facts.

The fact of the matter is that I really don’t watch that much TV anymore. At least not in the traditional sense. I usually have Netflix playing American Dad! in the background while I play handheld video games, but other than that it’s generally just watching the same serieses that I have on DVD/Blu-ray over and over again. I know “serieses” isn’t a word. That’s the point. It’s supposed to be cute.

We have maybe twelve channels of cable, and Wife has been making increased use of them lately, mostly in the way of Two and A Half Men and Two Broke Girls, both shows that I absolutely can’t stand. But! There’s this new game show on that she really likes called Hollywood Game Night, and it seems to be pretty darn good! I haven’t bothered to sit down and watch a whole episode myself, but what I have seen, I liked.

The premise is that there are two teams, made up of one Regular Joe captain and three celebrities. Already, we’re jumping into fairly Ryan-unfriendly territory. I am not a fan of celebrities as a selling point. I’m just not into the whole celebrity-mania business at all. Seriously, there are better things to talk and read about than actors and whatnot. Also, the show is hosted by Jane Lynch. Big red flag there.

Now, I’m not anti-Jane Lynch. In fact, I really like her as Reid’s schizophrenic mom on Criminal Minds. I just can’t separate her from Glee in my mind, and I hate Glee SO MUCH. Fact is though, that’s she’s pretty great as the host of Hollywood Game Night, so that’s good!

Anyway, the show has a bunch of wacky challenges like guessing what movie a screengrab comes from, but with the actors replaced with cats. Also one where kids draw pictures of celebrites and then the team has to guess which celebrity it is. There’s nothing really over-the-top, and I’m okay with that. The show has just the right level of silliness to be pretty darn funny without being overbearing. I don’t know if I’m articulating that thought well enough. Maybe… It’s funny just by virtue of being silly, which is something I will almost always get behind.

I guess the major draw for common folk would be the celebrities, but like I said, that’s just not really my bag. I was pretty floored when Jason Alexander showed up with a full head of hair though. I’ve seen the guy in a wig before, but he looks younger now than he did on Seinfeld. It’s more than a little shocking.

Anyway, I don’t have a lot else to say about the show yet. It’s only been on for a few weeks, but so far so good. Here’s hoping that they’re able to keep it fresh and that maybe I’ll take the time to sit down and actually watch the damn thing.

The end is NIER

If this image is familiar to you, it likely means that you’ve played and completed NIER. Hats off to you, friend. If you haven’t, I recommend that you head out to your local used games store and get your bad self a copy of this gem. I just wish my phone could take a better picture of the TV screen, because the title is super blurry and there’s supposed to be a flower in that spotlight.

NIER, for the uninitiated, is an action RPG released way, way back in 2010. And it is magnificent. It’s not a long game, but I’ve now spent roughly 60 hours with it, and a good many of those were well spent. I’ve done everything there is to do in the game, and only have a single achievement left to earn, which is for beating it in under 15 hours. Should be a piece of cake, since I can do the entire second half of it in under two.

Anyway, what makes NIER such a great game is not necessarily the gameplay, but everything that is wrapped around it. The basic story is that of a father searching for a cure for his daughter’s mortal illness. Right there you’ve got a story that I care to see through to the end. But there are many twists and turns along the way. There are no less than half a dozen story events that will leave you stunned, staring slack-jawed at the screen wondering if what you saw really just happened. It’s the only game in recent memory where events in a cutscene have made me sit up straight and shout in disbelief and/or terror.

I won’t mince words, NIER isn’t afraid to be cruel. The main characters are pretty great and have terrific voice actors, and you will grow to like them. Which adds so much more emotional weight when awful things start to happen to them.  And that may shy you away, but think about how many video games elicit a true emotional response from you. How many have actually made you hurt for their characters? Not many, I’m guessing. It gets downright depressing, but it’s absolutely a story worth seeing through. You can go read a plot summary if you’re lazy, but nothing even compares to witnessing the events play out firsthand.

What’s really great is that there are four endings to the game, and unlike most games with alternate endings, each one builds onto the last, giving more details and slightly changing the final outcome. There are also a ton of additional little scenes added throughout the game once you’ve gotten ending A which will shatter every preconception you’ve had about what’s going on in its world. When you boot up NIER, you’re starting down one of the absolute best video game stories that you’ll ever experience.

That’s not to say that the gameplay should be overlooked! By all means, it’s a pretty competent game. NIER was developed by Cavia Inc, who have a reputation for filling their games with bullcrap and trollign players to no end, but an average playthrough of NIER is kind enough to the player. It’s only when you go off the rails and decide to earn 100% that it gets to the point of unbearable garbage. So much so, in fact, that I learned how to hack Xbox 360 game saves just to save myself hours days of grinding for rare drops.

If you just play through to experience to core game though, it’s pretty delightful. It’s a third-person action game, and feels a little like a looser Zelda with no Z-targeting system. And then there are a few rather dramatic gameplay shifts here and there just to throw you off. One early part of the quest requires you to play the fishing mini-game, which is actually pretty fun, and another portion is presented entirely as a… well, I don’t really want to spoil too much. It’s not as refined as it could be, but I certainly had no complaints about the actual playing part of the game.

My introduction to Nier was a Let’s Play, and I quit reading less than a third of the way through because I knew that I needed to experience the rest for myself. It was definitely the right thing to do. While my time with NIER is almost over, it’s been a great run and now my job is to get other people to play it and see the light for themsleves. This is one that’s going to stay in my collection and most likely see frequent replays.

Oh, and the soundtrack is The Balls. I bought it on iTunes, but feel bad because it’s so great that I feel like I should have a physical copy.

Another note, NIER doesn’t stop with mature subject matter in the story. There is so much blood, and also constant cussing from a certain character who walks around in some very skimpy lingerie. So, maybe keep it away from the kids. If that’s an issue for you.

Diamonds in the rough – Picross e2

When Picross e came out back in June, I was absolutely ecstatic. I didn’t even know that the game existed, so when I saw it in the weekly 3DS eShop release list, I was pretty blown away. Being at work, I had to wait an absolutely grueling six or seven hours before I was able to get home to purchase the thing in a frenzy of picross fandom. At least, as much of a frenzy as one can get into when downloading a picross video game.

Having burned through the game’s 150-ish puzzles by the time the weekend was up, I would have been severely disappointed if I’d bought anything but a picross game. I’ll forgive picross all of its shortcomings because it’s picross and I am hopelessly in love with picross. As it is, I was only slightly perturbed that my joy had been cut short just as it was reaching a fever pitch. It didn’t last long, but I’d say I got my eight bucks’ worth.

And then at the end of July, I was blindsided again by the launch of Picross e2. Though I did know it existed and that it was on the way, I had no idea that it would show up so soon. Again, I was forced to sit at my desk for hours, running down the clock until I could get home and download me a whole new batch of puzzles. There really need to be more unsecured wifi networks around here.

Continue reading Diamonds in the rough – Picross e2

Because that totally happens

An excerpt from the Zoo Rules page on the website of the city zoo:

  • The following items are NOT PERMITTED and should be left at home:
    • Pets *
    • Roller blades, roller skates, heelies, skateboards, child scooters
    • Bicycles, tricycles, and unicycles
    • Balloons of any kind
    • Straws
    • Balls, Frisbees, flying discs, etc.

And now I’m imagining a gang of punks on unicycles causing all sorts of mischief in the zoo.

A fishy situation

I’ve been trying to focus on writing articles lately, and I think it’s been working out well enough. I published five of the things in just under a month, and I don’t feel like quality even took a hit for the increased pace. Not that I’d set the quality bar very high to begin with.

That said, I think that the article blitz is over. There are still a few in the works, in various states of completion, but I don’t have any sort of set time frame for finishing and launching them. I’ll probably write a thing about Picross e2 next week, since that’ll likely be what I do this weekend. Will there be enough material for a whole second article? Who knows? Not I.

Anyway, the reason I logged into WordPress is mostly to put into words my bewilderment at my own incompetence. What incompetence, you ask? My total inability to fish in Animal Crossing: New Leaf with the sound turned off. Weird, I know. As someone who has endlessly talked up how much time he spends fishing in that game, it’s striking to me how bad I am at it without the audio cue.

If you’ve never played Animal Crossing, here’s how it works: You equip a fishing rod, walk up to the water, and press the A button to cast. If there’s a fish swimming around (represented by a black shadow), it may notice your lure and start nibbling at it. It’ll swim up to the lure up to five times, making little “tick” sound effects, each time with a random chance of actually biting. When a fish does bite, your bobber is pulled underwater and a big “bloop” sound effect plays. Depending on the rarity of the fish, you have about second or less to press the A button again to land the fish.

Sounds really easy, but you’ve gotta have a pretty good reflex, especially with the rarer fish. The problem, it seems, is that while I can generally land fish pretty well while the sound is turned on, I just can’t do it without the audio cue. I was playing on the bus this morning while listening to Retronauts and couldn’t catch a fish to save my life. Compounding the issue were the facts that it was early in the morning and raining, which are both conditions that rarer fish will appear under. So not only was I unable to catch anything more than a few worthless barbel steed, but I was most likely missing out on some rare catches too (rare fish usually sell for lots of cash).

Oh well. It’s mostly just interesting (to me) that I respond faster to aural than visual cues. I would never have thought this, because my hearing isn’t exactly great to begin with. And that ends my little ramble for today.