I’m always late

Continuing September’s StarFox mania, I finally got around to finding a working ROM of the StarFox 2 beta, patching it, and playing it. You know, because everyone keeps saying that they pretty much based StarFox Command on it. So that’s totally true. Except for Command has so much more to it. Mini-review below.

The first thing you’re going to notice about StarFox 2 is that you move around the galaxy map freely, and not as you complete levels. You’ll also notice enemies flitting about. Since your job is to protect Corneria and blow up Andross’ base, and they’re on opposite ends of the galaxy, things are going to get a little frantic. So you fly around, and when you come in contact with an enemy fighter, battleship, or occupied planet, you’ll go into battle mode. Which, basically means not the map.

The problem here is that the SNES’ 3D powers are kinda weak and flying around full 3D space is very disorienting. Once you get used to it though, it’s kinda fun. Planets and battleships are less of a problem, obviously. The main objective of said battle mode is to shoot down whatever it is you came in contact with, or destroy the enemy bunker, if you’re on a planet. Bosses will (seemingly) randomly show up on the map screen to challenge, and they’re really just an extended version of the basic enemy fighter battles; bigger weapons and longer lifebars.

One of the really cool things about StarFox 2 is that on planets, you can transform your arwing into a bipedal robot. It’s a little easier to control and aim with, and makes the fighter mode seem dull. There are also three different arwing models to choose from, each with it’s own strenghts, weaknesses, and special weapons, which means your game can be easier or harder depending on your craft.

The downside to the game is that there’s only the one “mission” to play. It gets really exciting/challenging on Expert mode, but after playing so much of Command, it seems a little lacking. Compared to the original StarFox, however, it seems to be on par. They also give you your mission stats and ranking when you finish the game, and the game even keeps track of your records. Really, it’s a shame that StarFox 2 was never (officially) released, because it’s an exceptionally neat game, and I think I might have spent even more hours on this one than I did on the original if I’d had access to it as a kid. I’d say Nintendo should refine it and release it on the Wii’s Virtual Console, but really, they’ve already done it with Command.

Burnin’ like wildfire

Okay, a couple things to sort out today. Firstly, I’ve completed this week’s comics for Coozy For Hire. You still have to wait to see them, but I think they’re some of the best yet. CFH’s for both art and writing, and Spare! because it’s beautiful and involves StarFox.

Secondly, this is the greatest thing ever. The fact that it’s actually in the game’s code is awesome, and I hope that the next time Nintendo re-releases OoT, they put it somewhere for everyone to see.

And the last thing I need to note is that… Um. I seem to have forgotten what it was. It wasn’t important then. But holy crap, I just realized that I started the last seven blog posts with the word “so.” Somebody get me a fucking thesaurus. Or a professional writing class of some sort. Oh, and also I did the whole MySpace thing. I’m such a whore.

Coming to take you away

So I was Googling myself this morning, as I often do, and I came across a neat little page. Well, forum post, but same thing. check it out. Surely you know I sent in an entry to I-Mockery’s Super Mario comic contest a few months back, and this dude thinks mine was the only funny one. It brings a tear to my eye, it does. I’ll admit that Edwin came up with the base idea and I only really worked out the “punch line”, but no less, my work has been praised by a complete stranger. It makes me so happy I took a printscreen.

So, um, yeah. That was pretty much it. I suggest joining them forums, and if enough people actually do, we can stage a coup and take over! Or something like that. Maybe we’ll just make peace and some new interweb allies.

I will be the flame

So the old birthday went pretty well. The cake pictured above is the brainchild of a couple of my friends. And McCain, I guess.

Got a wad of cash thanks to my many, many relatives, and with it, I finally got a DVD drive for my PC. Not only that, but my very own Best Buy incompetence story as well! I’m so happy to finally have one of these.

Sales guy (we’ll call him Jim): Looking for anything specific?

Ryan: Yeah, I’m looking to pick up a DVD drive.

Jim: That’s cool. They’ve really come down in price. They used to be like $400.

Ryan: Yes, I know.

Jim: So what are you getting it for?

Ryan: Um… playing DVDs? Burning stuff? (to self:) What else do you do with them?

Jim: Cool cool. So they’re all pretty much the same. They’re all internal, they all do dual-layer, what-have-you.

Ryan: What about this one? I think it’s external. *points to an $80 Sony drive that’s clearly external*

Jim: Wha? *Looks at the tag that says internal, and then the box, and the tag again* Well… That’s fucked up. That tag is wrong. Huh. Well if you have any more questions, just ask.

At this point he walks away and I continue to mull over which drive to buy. About a minute later, he comes back.

Jim: Well, that’s definitely wrong. And also, the price on that one is actually $170, not $80. *rips out the tag*

Ryan: Huh. Way to be organized.

I don’t think there are many things that are as entertaining as stories about how Best Buy fucked up. Oh, and while I was there, my brother was looking for a cellphone, so my mom asked this one guy for help, and he said he’d go get someone who knew about cellphones. They waited five minutes, and after no one had shown up, they just left.

You might wind up with no one at all

So my brothers are really into this band, Avenged Sevenfold. Now, they’ve both come a long way as far as their taste in music goes, so I decided to give them a shot. I “borrowed” City of Evil to take a listen (and get a good feel for “The Beast And The Harlot” as it’s gonna be on Guitar Hero 2), and I have to say I was more than disappointed. It started off okay, but I later noticed that I had to constantly check Winamp to see what song I was listening to, because lo and behold, all their songs sound the damn same. Each one relies on the same schtick of heavy dual guitar riffs and solos punctuated by melodic choruses. Or something like that. Anyway, I have to take serious points off just for their lack of diversity alone. It’s basically different lyrics to the same music over and over. I’m pretty sure that if I looked up the lyrics, they’d all be pretty similar too. Needless to say, I don’t get the infatuation.

I’m not sure why I’m talking about Avenged Sevenfold when the band of the month is Fall Out Boy. Yep. Ya heard me. Incase you haven’t been paying attention to my blog, I’m basically as emo as fuck, so yeah. Don’t get me wrong, though. I think everyone who dresses emo and cuts themselves should fall off a cliff and die (but then again, what else is there to being emo?), but complaining about bullshit is human nature. I’m not going to pretend I don’t do it. And you know what? Fall Out Boy doesn’t suck because of the emoness. Hell, if they dressed in tight ripped jeans and flashy vests and were 20 years older, they’d probably qualify as a rock ‘n’ roll band. All the emo in FOB is in their appearance (and videos). Their music isn’t half as whiny as half the emo bands out there. So I guess what I’m saying here is that if you dislike a band because of their image (and I know so many do), you’re a dickweed. If you don’t like the music, that’s one thing, and totally acceptable. But please, for your own sake, don’t discount a band because of stupid buzzwords.

Hmmm. I seem to be in kind of a ranting mood today. I guess it’s just because FOB seems to be the butt of every emo joke these days, and it’s kind of an unfair generalization. Well, I think I got my point across anyway. I like Fall Out Boy. Under The Cork Tree is a smashing album, and I highly recommend giving it a try. A bonus is that you can tell where one song ends and the other begins. Start taking notes, Avenged Sevenfold.

So stop what you’re doing

So the topic of Final Fantasy XII came up today over at the Penny Arcade. Surely if you’ve been following it at all, you know all about this Gambit system they’re poking fun at. Now, this normally wouldn’t merit my attention, but it creates a huge anomaly in my game philosophy.

See, I don’t like conventional RPGs all that much (except Pokémon. I love Pokémon). Something about choosing your actions from a menu just doesn’t click with me. The aforementioned Gambit system serves to further sever the link between gamer and game, and yet it makes me thirst for the game so badly. I mean, I played the demo and liked it, what with it lacking random battles and all, even if it was a little awkward to learn. Even the story piqued my interest to a high degree, and I’m one who commonly berates others who “play for the story.” The thing is, either the Gambit system wasn’t there, or I didn’t notice it or I didn’t use it properly or something, because there was no “programming my guys,” to be seen. And now that I hear about it, and the depth at which I can set up my peoples, my desire for the game is only intensified.

So yeah, it’s kind of wierd. Maybe I’ll go play the demo again in hopes that I can convince myself it’s just as bad as all the other FF games, but I doubt it’ll work. It’s set in Ivalice after all. And we all know that nothing related to FF Tactics, Advance or otherwise, can truly be bad.

Turn off the shyness

So here’s an odd one: Steve Irwin is dead. Yeah. Just let that sink in for a minute. I normally don’t care when people die (what with the hollow tin chest and all), but this one strikes me as kind of sad. You know, getting pwned by a stingray and all. I’m not sure what else to say.

Um, so anyway, Mike’s got a new article up. It’s about comics vs video games. Go read it and vote. I won’t tell you which side to vote for, but make sure you vote. Because it’s your duty as an American interweb dork.

August 2006 archive is up and running if you feel like reading about what I did and saw last month. I also moved over a couple more old articles from Angelfire. Slowly but surely they’re all making their way over, and it looks like they’ve got some unfinished friends in tow! But will I ever finish them? that’s for the future to know and you to find out. A long time from now.

Give something new a try

So I sat down today and wrote out an article. I’ve been meaning to do it for about two months now, but that’s by no stetch the longest I’ve ever had an article waiting to be written. I still have a lot in the backlog, and I guess I should do some soon, because I think they might be breeding.

I also updated the CD collection on Friday, but never got around to making the news post to announce it. I also couldn’t get the CSS to work right for the updated page links, so you’ll have to consult the “last update” callout to see what’s what. I guess I could tell you here, but I feel like being an ass and leaving it up to you.

I have a feeling September might be a little slower than the last couple months have been. I’m going through my “I don’t even want to think about the internet” phase right now, so we’ll see what happens.

Ooh, and I rented Clock Tower 3. Wow. I definitely should have played it before Haunting Ground, that’s all I’ve got to say. Though I might never have given Haunting Ground a chance if I’d played CT3 first. Who knows? Either way, I recommend both for the high levels of cheezy horror. You might just want to watch someone play CT3 though. It’s not so good when you’re actually playing it.

No time to talk

Ugh. So as kind of expected, I blew the driving test. Not too badly, though, and I should be able to pass easily next time. When that next time is going to happen, I have no idea. Given my penchant for procrastinating, probably not too soon. I also had a job interview yesterday, which was sweet. I doubt I’m going to get hired, but it was nice to at least get an interview. Those are rare.

I don’t have much in the way of links today, but I suggest checking out The Top Eleven Best Arch-Nemeses

I said I’d talk about StarFox Command on the off chance that I bought it, and quite frankly, I seem to have a problem saying no to StarFox. That’s not such a bad thing though. Command is almost as good as StarFox 64, even though it deviates from the formula quite a bit. All the flying is done in free-range areas, maning no on-rails levels. A shame, because I love those kind of levels, but I’m not going to complain. The things that do put me off are A)you’re always on a timer, and B) there’s very little variety as far as objectives go. Either you’re hunting down a specific enemy type, or you’re going up against a boss. The formula could use a little more, but it’s still fun.

The new thing in this game is that for each stage, you actually have a tactical map to move your Arwings through, collecting items, encountering enemies, and liberating bases along the way. It sounded dumb in previews, but I actually really like how it works out. You even get to control all your pilots (who switch in and out during the story) independently, and each one has a unique ship and theme music. It all works out really well, and I most definitely suggest you pick this one up if you have a DS. I haven’t even gotten around to playing mulitplayer yet, and I think that says a good amount about how good the single-player game is.

Just to watch it burn

Busy week here in Ryan Land. Tomorrow is what I like to call D-Day (as in Driving Test Day). I don’t know how well that’ll go, but here’s hoping it won’t get too ugly. I’m pretty confident, but it’s mostly false confidence. Which I’m told is a character flaw. But is it really false confidence if I know it’s false? The perplexity of it all makes my head hurt.

I also have to head back to the dentist on Thursday so that he can fuck around some more in my facehole. Getting a filling isn’t nearly as bad as some have made it out to be, but I could most certainly be doing more enjoyable things with my morning.

Nextly, it’s a pretty big week for Coozy For Hire. Along with the regularly scheduled comic on Thursday, we’ve got our 1st year celebration on Friday, which will come with a free bonus comic. And to top it off, the second episode of Spare! hits on Saturday, so you’re going to be getting three comic days in a row. Just nuts I tell you. Fortunately, I had most of them done early (though now my buffer is totally used up and I have to start drawing again). Not to mention, our traffic is steadily increasing every month, and that’s very reassuring. I imagined that this little project would flop long before the year mark. I even have some juicy tidbits for you: firstly, the comics up until at least the second week of October are gold. Secondly, I’m working on a new feature, but I’m not sure if it’s going to work out. It’s for a very minor audience anyway, so I doubt it’ll matter in the end.

StarFox Command hit yesterday, and I want it, but I’m a little wary. The whole “command the missons” junk is a little off-putting, but I think WiFi dogfights would easily make it worth buying even if single player is a miss. I’ll make sure to log my thoughts about it if I do decide to pick it up.

Keep an eye on RainbowPuke.com. I recently submitted a piece. It’ll likely appear once a third page is posted, and you’ll likely be able to tell it’s mine. Cause it has my name on it.

Due to my recent CD acquisitions, I will have to update at least one page in the CD Collection. I’ll also be adding a new page by the end of the week. Not many short ones left, either. B, Q, and S in particular are ones I’m not at all looking forward to doing.

After all this, I think it’s pretty much understood that I’m not going to be doing much on the article front this week.