Of shitty crossovers

Just posting to let ya know that I added seven (six, really) new pics to the second art gallery. Most are of a single nature, while some are original, and is the horrifying result of my tendency to “improve” other people’s ideas. Other than that, nothing doing.

I would like to bring up the point that, when using the Opera browser (which I currently use), the post titles show up all small and wrong coloured. They look fine in Internet Explorer, and I’m sure it’s a simple matter of a misplaced < div >, but damned if I’m going to figure it out. Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, expect my final impressions of the Nintendo DS. Later on in the week I’ll be bringing up some other choice items, such as Metroid Prime 2: Echoes and Viewtiful Joe 2 (the latter of which has gotten more attention than than both Metroid and the DS, amazingly). All great stuff, and I’m even gonna try my hand at some videos, so make sure you check back daily or so.

Coming up for air

OK, I’ve spent pretty much all the time I’ve been home today up until now immersed in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. It’s a really, really, really awesome game. Fuck Halo. You can’t turn into a ball in Halo. There aren’t any zombies in Halo. Sure, you can hold two guns, but my gun is 5-in-one. Plus, Samus is a babe. (If you need proof, search up the ending pics for Metroid Fusion and Zero Mission in the VG Museum)

But no, I didn’t come here solely to bash Halo, though I do take pleasure in the activity. No, I have much more important stuff to discuss. Like what I did with last night. You see, I got the most excellent opportunity to hit the opening night concert for the MTS Centre. Possibly the biggest thing that’s ever happened in Manitoba ever, this was a pretty important event. Not only have we been craving this new arena for decades, but it was the first freaking anything that happened there.

I’d like to go into a lot of detail, but Aether calls, so I’ll have to keep it short. Short-ish. Basically, the new arena is awesome. It’s way fancied up, and it’s got like statues and shit all over the place. One thing I noticed that was really cool is that the lights under the stairs cast a cool glow on people either ascending or descending them. Sadly, the trough is gone, and that means lines for the men’s bathroom. If you’d never been to our quaint old arena, the men’s bathrooms had pissing troughs. Seriously. It was awesome. But never again. Oh well, I guess they made up for it by having every seat made the same, and not giving the big spenders the comfy ones.

So what about the show? Well, it started with a gymnast doing some seriously wicked shit on a couple of like… big… drapes. I have no idea what they’re called but it was impressive like nothing else. At first I couldn’t tell if it was a chick or a guy, but then we got the ass shot. That was the definitive moment. Totally a chick. Now I was impressed and aroused. Not a bad opening act. Then the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra played some stuff and it was cool. Then another gymnast who was notably less impressive, but very, very flexible. Finally, we got some more WSO, and then the show really started.

Our first big name act: Randy Bachman. You know, from BTO and the Guess Who. There was some “Takin’ Care of Business”, a little “Let It Ride”, and an ineffable performance of “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”. Of course, he did some of his own stuff too, and even busted into Neil Young’s “Keep on Rocking in the Free World”. It would be quite the act to top. And the next guys didn’t quite do it for me. Some young country group going by the name of Doc Walker. Never heard of ’em before, and I’m not gonna go and start hearing of ’em. They weren’t bad, but you know. They were following up Randy freaking Bachman. While they did put on an enjoyable show, they were without a doubt the least entertaining of the 5 major acts.

Oh, did I mention that the thing was hosted by Fred Penner? Yeah. It was cool. Funny guy. He did little skits and stuff between acts to show off all the cool stuff in the new arena, like the Moose locker rooms (which, by the way, must be what Heaven is like) and the giant loading dock. Also highlighted were the dining hall and the suites. Oh, and the arena itself. But back to the show.

The third act, and what I thought would be the most disappointing, was Chantal Kreviazuk. You see, I didn’t realize that she’s smoking hot. Turns out she’s a pretty talented pianist and singer too. And she kept heckling the lighting guys to do stuff for her, but they wouldn’t. It was funny. The only thing I didn’t like was the fat idiot sitting two seats over that kept yelling things to her, even though we were sitting way up at the top of the world. Yeah, we were in the very highest seats, but as the Penner man pointed out, there isn’t a bad seat in the house.

After Chantal packed it up and Fred and co-host Adam Beach did their bit, on came my personal favorite act: Tom Cochrane. Booya. Kickass rock and boatloads of showmanship to boot. He was the only guy to actually get the people in the floor seats up and dancing. Somehow, he managed to sing all songs that I don’t know, except for the token “Life is a Highway”. I think if Tom Cochrane ever played a concert anywhere and didn’t do “Life is a Highway”, the world would implode or something. But I digress, this was the highlight of the show for me. But as a collective, we the audience had a huge surprise waiting for us.

Me, I had no idea who I was going to see, I just took up the offer and went. But apparently, nobody in the audience knew that Burton Cummings was gonna be there, based on the uproar that uprose when Fred announced that he would be the last act. Indeed, Burton did not disappoint. He did a few songs accompanied by the WSO, and then it got even better. Randy came back and then they did “No Sugar Tonight”. And then a bunch of Guess Who stuff from back in the day. The crowd was certainly pleased, what with more applause, whistling, and hollering than I imagined could possibly be contained inside a single building. I was entertained as well, even if it was mostly stuff I’d never heard before. I can’t say I’ve ever really listened to a lot of the Guess Who or, for that matter, anyone who performed last night, but I was able to pick out quite a few songs, and I knew everyone who played (with the exception of Doc Walker, of course), so I wasn’t totally out of the loop.

And that was it. It wasn’t straight up my alley (some parts were, but some weren’t), but I can’t deny that I enjoyed pretty much the whole thing. Only one or two songs total did I find annoying or disagreeable. A sweet-ass concert for sure, you’re sorry you missed it. I don’t care if you hate all the stars that showed up, it was a huge event that really defied musical preferences. I really don’t have much else to say. I can’t stop thinking about the Echoes.

On a totally different note, I got the new Rammstein CD today. Kinda goes without saying that it kicks ass. And that’s the end of my show. DONK!

*DONG* 5 days remain

Because for the next indeterminable period of time I’ll be waaaay to busy with my new baby and a couple new games coming out this week, I’ve decided that I should leave you with a little something to look into while I’m gone, so here are a few websites that you might want to check out and start reading or whatnot. Go ahead. You might like them.

Rockman.EXE Online – I’ve linked to stuff on it numerous times, and I figured why the hell not do it again. Great site if you like the Rockman.EXE anime, and it’s got a lot of cool features like episode summaries and fanart galleries (including stuff by me!).

Weebl’s Stuff – There’s a link to the Weebl and Bob site on my sidebar, but you’d be a fool to not take a look at all his other stuff. Internet legends like the Kenya video originated from this very place. Plus many other great Flash animations. Badgers badgers badgers badgers. Mushroom! Mushroom!

Sprites Inc. – Everyone loves sprites. Especially MegaMan sprites. OK, not a very interesting site unless you need MegaMan sprites, but since it’s in my favorites and I’ve used said sprites many times, I’ll give it a lil’ shout.

Channel 51 – A cool conspiracy-type site. Go ahead, read through it, and watch the videos of aliens and stuff. There’s a few neat stories and stuff, but not an overwhelming lot, so you could probably read through it all in an hour or less. I suggest doing so.

Orbis Labs – OK, not sure how to explain this one. Just check it out and stuff. Like the link above, it’s kind of up in the air, but they’ve got a pretty neat idea. Seems a little farfetched though. People morphing into armored balls…

eBaum’s World – An all-around entertaining site. It’s got videos, games, soundboards, and all sorts of other junk that’s good for whiling away the time. Like Newgrounds, but with a lot of the extremely bad stuff weeded out. And not based around Flash.

b3ta – I’m pretty sure I’ve linked to this one before too, but it’s worth a second time around just for the constant flow of photoshop hilarity on the main page. Plus all the great videos and games. A real haven for those into cyber culture.

MilkandCookies – Ummm… Yet another humour-based site. Mostly with videos and other things of interest. I’ve really just the same as most of the other links I’ve given, so I can’t think up anything original to say.

Band of the Month – November 2004

Oops, I’ve gone and done it again. Band of the Month is very late once again, and since this is only the fourth installment of the featurette, I’d say I’m off to a pretty bad start. I’m not sure if it’ll keep up like this. You remember how the weekly article thing went down the shitter real fast. I’ve got a lot more slack with this being once a month, but I’m still managing to muck it up. But enough about how I’m a failure, you want to know about some sort of “band” thing.

I’ll admit that I only started liking POD (Payable on Death) a couple years ago when their song “Alive” hit it big. And what can I say? I’d never heard of them before. But after that, my buddy Mike (who may have liked them before, I don’t know) got really into them, this came to that, and boom (no pun intended) I had their latest CD. Which as far as I know, is the only one with a slew of hits on it. Their first major release, as I understand, wasn’t big enough to warrant any radio songs, but the second had at least three. As for the third and most recent release, well, I haven’t heard any of the songs on the radio yet. My brother had apparently heard one, and the song “Change the World” seems to be very hyped on the official site, so maybe it has been played on some radio or TV station, I don’t know, I don’t listen/watch the stations that would be playing it.

While their first major release, The Fundamental Elements of Southtown, came in 1999, it wasn’t their first. I’m not going to look up independent release info, but I’ve heard they’ve got 11 CDs in total, so I’ll assume that the eight independent productions came before this one. Nuff said made up, onto the CD review. I never owned The Fundamental Elements of Southtown, but I have listened to it. It’s a good CD all in all, but I just never got very into most of it. Some songs, particularly “Rock the Party” (which just screams HARDCOOOORE!!) and “Bullet the Blue Sky” (a very nice U2 cover) are quite enjoyable. Also noteworthy is the pseudo-title track, “Southtown”. But the rest, I can’t really remember the rest, and that doesn’t say anything very good. I’m sure I liked most of the other songs (I did burn the CD after all. Illegal copying abound!), but I just can’t put the titles to the beats. In any case, listen to at least the songs I mentioned and come to your own conclusions, because I clearly don’t have one to give you.

The next one is the big one: Satellite. Great CD from start to finish, I think. OK, that’s not entirely true. I find the song “Ridiculous” to be ridiculously annoying, but it comes after the soothing instrumental piece “Celestial”, and the excellent title track “Satellite” so it works out somehow. And then afterwards is my personal favorite song on the album, “The Messenjah” and the second instrumental, “Guitarras De Amor”. So the annoyingness of the single song I don’t like is negated very well by the songs immediately surrounding it, making it that much easier to bear. Other songs you might want to check out are, as popularity would dictate, are “Alive”, “Boom” and “Youth of the Nation”. Hell, pretty much everything on the CD is worth listening to, and did I not already own it, I would pay up to an inflated $30 for it. But it’s probably not that expensive yet, so let’s not worry about it. You can probably still find it for between $15 and $20, and if you don’t yet own it, I highly suggest changing that. You know, I’ve not really gotten into what kind of music POD plays yet. I think that’s something I usually make mention of by now. Basically, what they are is this group of Christian rockers, and the lyrics heavily reflect that. Satellite here is a very metal CD, but most of the other stuff I know takes elements from metal, rap and reggae, somehow combining them in this original fashion that manages to make everything work out just perfectly and sound really awesome in the process.

And with the mention of genre-splicing comes the newest major release, Payable on Death. This self-titled disc is so different from the las that if it weren’t for recurring themes and Sonny’s instantly recognizable voice, you may be fooled into thinking it’s a different band altogether. While I’m not sure, I think this is the point where long-time fans would say something like “POD gets back to their real style after that last sellout piece of garbage.” I really just made that up, but I hear it a lot when doing research for these Band of the Month things (of which I did surprisingly little for this one), so I’m pretty sure that’s how it would go down. Anyway, this album, or so I’d like to believe, introduces a new guitarist to the crew, after they apparently had some differences with the last one. Personally, I’ve never been able to point out a guitarist (or any musician) by his playing like some people can, so it don’t make much difference to me. I think I’m gonna have to move to a new paragraph to continue this one…

As I was saying, Payable on Death is hella different from Satellite. And isn’t that supposed to be how it is? Well, most bands stick to a very similar style of music, but as I said, Satellite was mostly metal, while this one gets really into the reggae groove. Of course, you still get a good amount of metal and hip-hop. Simply put, it’s a mixed bag of genres. Oh, yes, and it’s a good CD too. Strangely, it takes a while to truly appreciate. For example: at first, I didn’t really like “Will You”. But after a few listens, it quickly became one of my favorite songs on the disc. It’s like that with a lot of the songs, but they grow quickly. The only other band I’ve seen display this phenomenon was My Chemical Romance. I guess you’ll wanna know which songs to look out for on this one, eh? “Change the World” is rather good, and “Execute the Sounds” has a sound that is executed rather well. Also, “Revolution” is pretty hardcore with a slick rhyming verse, and I like that one a lot. But I think that the best track on the CD is probably the last one, “Eternal”. It’s a nice, mellow guitar duet that ends up as a great piece to go out on. If I should mention, the CD is a little extra expensive because it comes with a lot of bonus material. First is the ability to download the secret-esqe song, “Space”, but my computer just starts shitting itself whenever I try to download it. Also, there are a bunch of videos about the band, and a bonus DVD disc with a demo of the PS2 game Amplitude that features only “Space”. Yes, it’s appropriate, but I like my rhythm game demos to have at least 2 songs. In any case, as far as Amplitude can tell me, “Space” isn’t all that worth downloading anyway, so I’m not too disappointed about it.

OK people, that’s a wrap. I’ve really got nothing else to say but to go listen to a couple of the songs I mentioned and see for yourself the awesomeness that is POD. In other news, I suck at reviewing bands, so here are some links.

A cute little turtle – Kind of. I really don’t want to spoil what’s at the other end of this link, but I guarantee it’ll have you going something like “Holy shit!”. I, personally, think it’s really cool.

The Jones Soda Holiday Pack – Apparently, mashed potato & butter soda doesn’t go over so well with most people. Another proof that people will flock to anything with a “limited edition” sticker on it. It’s Matt’s first real article since Halloween, and now I don’t mind having waited so long. Ah, the joy of watching other people suffer mildly.

Resident Evil 4 controller – And in this corner, the king of bad ideas! Really. I want to hammer a nail into the head of the idiot who thought this up.

Super Mario 64 DS preview – If I don’t post for a while (like a month or so) after the 21st, this, Metroid Prime 2 and Viewtiful Joe 2 will be the ones to blame, not me.

Stripped

Massive-type update today. And by that, I mean I finally got around to bringing the fabled Work Blog home. All is set up and ready to go. I even added the sidebar link for every page. So it’s up there now, totally unedited, except for I rearranged it so that it reads from top to bottom, making it easier on you guys. And a few minor things like spelling corrections and picture links (again, for comprehension purposes). On top of that, I got around to picking my Band of the Month. Huzzah! It’s POD! I knew I wanted them up there one of these months, and since I hadn’t figured out anyone else for this month, there they are. Review should be up either tomorrow or Saturday morning. Probably not tomorrow, because I’m spending the day completely cleaning out my room. Cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, getting rid of old crap; the whole nine yards. I’m going to Hell and back, but it’ll be worth it to have a more organized room.

Completely unrelated, my dad did a similar job on the living room today, so the couches and such were moved downstairs. For the first time in my own home, I had the joy of playing video games while sitting on the couch. It’s so much better than the floor or my bed. So much. For the sake of something to look at, I’ve taken some pictures of the endeavor. The front of the empty room. The empty dining area. The new mess in the basement. Playing GameCube on the couch! Crap piled on the table. So you see, there is many a thing to move back into place. Fortunately, all I have to do is help move the couches back. It may be the hard part, but it’s also the shortest.

And let’s get back to what Ryan’s really about: ten days until the DS launch! I’ve been really good about it up until now, and I think with ten days left, I have clearance to get excited. To make things better (and more expensive, too…) Metroid Prime 2: Echoes releases on the 15th, and Viewtiful Joe 2 is due out on the 19th. Luckily for me, those are the only games that I really want until January, when Resident Evil 4 and the GBA MegaMan Anniversary Collection come out. That gives me a few paycheques to save up for Christmas presents. and maybe for some stuff that isn’t video games. Cause I need some of that. Though I did just spend $100 on a jacket, so I guess I’ve done enough non-game buying for a while. At least by my standards.

Finally, my respects to all those fallen soldiers who we dedicate this day to. If it weren’t for you guys, I might not have so many freedoms, and I wouldn’t have earned time and a half today.

ADDENDUM (9:30PM): I just added a banner for Penny Arcade’s Child’s Play charity near the top of the page. It’s a great cause, and I even donated 5 bucks. I know that not many people will see it here, but I like the idea that I’m at least trying to help out. And you know, it’s nice to do good rather than evil once in a while. Make sure you check it out and if you’ve got the means, donate a couple bucks.

West coast, it’s my beautiful day!

Did you know jackets are expensive? Yeah, it turns out they are. You see, I’ve never had to shop for a jacket before today, so I had no idea. But I did make a purchase, and at $100, it seems as though I got one of the cheaper ones. Gah.

In other news, if you’re reading this, you should go check the forums. And maybe post a bit too. Seems we’ve got a new member, and I’ve been posting in an attempt to get her posting as well. So there might be a short revival. You know we had some good times on there back in the day.

I thought up a pretty funny comic while I was sitting on the throne earlier today. You can check it out here. I could have spent some more time on it, but I think I’ve gotten my point across. And it’s very in the vein of both Penny Arcade’s and VG Cats’ humor. I’m not very sure how accurate it is, but let’s just accept that it’s somewhat funny.

In much more awesome news, Babamania has released the full version of Doobee Doowop Communication, which despite the really odd name, is a kickass song. If you didn’t check it out when I gave you the link, it’s the ending theme of the Rockman.EXE Stream anime. It’s got some really mellow parts, a rocking chorus, and is sung by at least three people, both male and female. Plus a lot of English lyrics that are sometimes humorous, and even the Japanese singing is funny in parts. It’s a very original song, and I don’t think I’ve ever reccomended anything more than I do this song. Download it, I can almost guarantee you’ll like it. If you don’t, it’s simply to spite me. I don’t see how anyone could not like the song. It’s just so catchy and loveable.I just listened to it like 6 times in a row. Time for an intervention. Hooray Pikmin soundtrack!

Ah yes, that’s the next thing I have to cover. Check this shit out, yo. PopJapan Torrents, you are my God. Or at least my hero. You see, if you scroll down a little and click the “Older Torrents” button, you’ll find a bunch of torrents to complete game soundtracks and arrangements! Hooray! It’s like a party in my ears and all my favorite games are invited! That sounded a lot less stupid in my head, trust me. Oh how I praise this site for it’s brilliant torrent collection. Oh the Pikmin soundtrack, how I adore thee. Next on my list of to-gets the the Tales of Symphonia soundtrack. Battle themes, away! did I mention they’ve got the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack? I knew THAT would get your attention. Suckers. (Note: It seems the Pikmin soundtrack is gone now… So get ’em while you can! And I still have the torrent if you want it.)

Finally, I have a very short review to make of Ape Escape, which I played for at least 6 hours straight yesterday. The game is fun, there’s no denying that. The premise is real stupid, and the voice acting could have been much better (And worse too. See RAD, MegaMan X4), but those weren’t nearly enough to keep the game down. Swimming is hard and stupid, but once you get the flying-majig and the RC car, you’re having boatloads of fun. The game is a litte too rip-off of both Super Mario 64 and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but I can forgive them, because Monkey Boxing is way too nonsensical not to love. The graphics blow, but that’s what you get with original Playstation games. It’s a huge game, with many, many monkeys to capture. I enjoyed my time with it, and did I care enough, would find a way to finish it 100%. But I really don’t mind. For the first time in my life, I can just let it go uncompleted.

Wow did I have a lot to say today. And frighteningly enough, I know I forgot a lot of stuff. Oh, and I’m going to start moving the old work blog over. The October edition should appear sometime soon. Probably within the week. Whenever I remember to bring a diskette to work.

Return of the dumbass

Hm. Something interesting has come up. Not really, but it’s part of why I’m posting.

“…I was talking to a girl in my Math Skills course tonight. She seems to be the female version of Ryan. She likes video games quite a lot, and is artistic. Ryan draws, she composes music. Match made in heaven? Well, if Ryan isn’t too shallow, yes. She’s not ugly really, but plain. Very plain. We talked a little about Animal crossing, and I think I need to introduce the two. If only Ryan didn’t work so much…”

Shallow? Me? …And HOW! Heh heh. Yes, maybe a little. But aren’t most people? In any case, this got the thinking train on its way, and I wound up digging up a few mini-comics I drew during a trip to the cottage during the summer. Something of a spin-off of the old “Spare!” comic that all my readers probably know about. I mean, I’m pretty sure that everyone and anyone that reads my site even monthly went to school with me. If you didn’t, please E-mail me right away. I like to know these things.

But back on topic, I scanned ’em up and posted them onto the second art gallery. And I put them in order that I like them. Just remember that when you get to the second half and think to yourself “This isn’t quite as good as the first ones”. I also found another bunch of stuff that needs scanning and posting, so you can expect those up sometime next week if I’m feeling ambitious.

Oh, and good news about the work front! Remember that “Work Blog” I said I was writing at work? Well it turns out one of the girls found it and reads it, and she says she thinks it’s hilarious. Verbatim. Since I hadn’t intended it to be funny, I asked if she thought it was hilarious that I’m such a loser that I would write a work blog, and she responded with a solid “No, I think it’s actually funny.” My socks were officially knocked off. Now I can’t wait until I’m done with Timmy’s so that I can bring it home and put it on the web. It’s time to go job hunting. But this time it’s going to be different. This time, I have an employment history. And supervisors that regularly compliment me on what a hard worker I am.

I miss the orange already

Remember that article I had originally planned for Saturday? I finally got it done. I’ve literally been working on it until like five minutes before I started this post. It’s real long. 4000 words, 2 pages. And just you wait until you see what it’s about. When you see that, you’ll be terrified just thinking about how long the article devoted to its bigger brother will be. Heh heh heh. And only now do I realize I owe you a review of either Paper Mario or MegaMan Zero 3. Oops. Maybe next week. I’m pretty booked until then.

Otherwise, I went to my yearbook signing last night. It was nice to see the old crew again, even if some of them were missing. And when I got home I realized that I do actually care that I’ll probably never see some of them again. Maybe something does beat in this hollow tin chest of mine after all. But I was able to leave a lot of them with an original bit of art, so I’ve made enough of a mark to be content. I also got everyone that mattered (and then some) to sign my book. This also adds to the contentment.

I don’t have any idea who I want to use for Band of the Month yet, so that won’t be up for a couple days still. I don’t have anything else on my immediate agenda either, so don’t expect any non-bloggish posts for a while. So just read that there article, and then click on some of these links here.

The Big 5 Personality Test – I’ve always loved taking surveys and tests like this, and I’m pretty sure most everyone else does. So here’s another one. And if you wanna see, here are my results.

DontMarry.com – “Why marriage has become a raw deal for men”. If you read GorillaMask, you’ve seen this one. Otherwise, read it. I tend to agree.

RockMan.EXE Stream media – Ryouko has captured both MP3s and movie clips of the intro and outro for the new RockMan.EXE anime series. I love the credits theme, and the videos are really well done. Someone should totally make a visualisation thing out of one part of the credits video. The part with the binary streams. You’ll see.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus

Getting right to the point, I’ve loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for as long as I can remember. I always had the newest toys when they came out, I own all three movies and the soundtrack from the second. I even went to the freaking live concert and still own the cassette tape of said concert. Even to this day do I frequently obsess about the TMNT. I visit the website regularly, own the first couple waves of toys, and watch the show whenever I get the chance. And of course, combining my two greatest obsessions, I own all the newer TMNT video games.

If you’ve read my Christmas article, you know I got the first set of games around December 25th of last year, and how I loved them so. The GBA game, in my opinion, was right up there at the top of the “best GBA games ever” list. It was the perfect beat ’em up side-scroller, with excellent graphics and a great aural experience to boot. I played it through several times, and even my brother who doesn’t really like video games (particularly of the side-scrolling sort) got really wrapped up in it at one point. So could Konami pull through and make the sequel better? Take a look at the box art, and judge this book by it’s cover.

Does it not scream intense? The last game’s box art was kind of disappointing and plain, but the moment I saw this one I thought “Wow. This game is going to kick ass. The box alone looks like it’s going to kick ass.” But enough about the box art. It’s only so relevant. Though probably the most entertaining picture that’s going to appear in this article. You’ll also notice that It proudly displays 4-player action on the corner there, though for some reason they made the French part to be more outstanding to the eyes than the English. Anyhow, they’re really trying to promote the ability to have 4 players with the new releases. Probably because the first games had very little opportunity for multiplayer. The console had only 2-players at max, and the GBA version was single player only. It’s a great feature, considering the material, and coincides with Nintendo’s newfound obsession with playing together. (Not that they never cared about it before, they’re just really going at it now)

So with the sweet-ass box art and a new multiplayer feature, you’re definitely wondering by now how Battle Nexus stands up to its older brother. While I’d love to say that the second game is without a doubt leagues better than the first, it’s just different enough that you can’t properly compare the two. Whether you like Battle Nexus or the first game better will overall depend on what kind of game you like, because although they are similar in many ways, the differences really set them apart and make them two entirely different games. In other words, this game takes the foundation that the first laid down and builds it up way into space.

Oh and speaking of into space, I guess that’s where I’ll start. As the first game covered the major events of the first season of the show, Battle Nexus highlights the bigger events of the second season. Or at least the first half of said season. The game opens with a recap of how the first season ended and the second started, with the Turtles being teleported to a planet galaxies away and saving the Fugitoid from both those evil Federation guys and the Triceratons. Right now, you’d probably want to have seen at least two or three episodes of the show to have any idea what I’m talking about. In any case, that’s about as far as they follow the actual plot set forth by the show.

So after that, you get to the start screen. Ooh. Lightning. Then it’s start new game and such, and you’re treated to a really long (and the only, so far) cutscene that fleshes out the more skewered story. You see, while it follows the basic plot of the cartoon, they changed it around a lot so that they had something to make a decent game out of. In this story, the Turtles and the Fugitoid escape to a secret lab. There, they can use Fugitoid’s teleportal to go hunting around for crystals to power up the teleportal, because it can only get you so far without the proper amount of crystal energy. But then the biggest fault in the game comes into play.

Somehow, back on Earth, Baxter Stockman has managed to hack into the teleportal’s system and made it so that when a turtle uses the teleportal, he will be taken to his destination, but his weapon(s) will be teleported some distance away. How he managed to do this, I’ll never know. I guess you could find plausibility in it because (bigass spoiler, if you care) Shredder is an Utrom and has all that knowledge and stuff about how life does actually exist on other planets, plus all the technology necessary to make something that could affect something that far away. Oh and I guess I should mention that instead of the Turtles being teleported from the basement of the TCRI building (the Utrom’s Earth base), they just get magically warped right out of their lair out of the blue. Oh. Wait. Maybe it was Shredder’s doing. I can’t really remember. It was a really long cutscene.

Either way, once you’ve cleared the hurdle that is picking your difficulty level, you get to choose which mode you want to play. There are three, and I’ll start with the obvious choice. Like I said earlier, you’re mission is to warp into enemy territory, steal crystals, and go. It’s a simple task, and made simpler in easy mode, because you don’t actually have to get the crystals to progress, but you do only get to play the first three of five worlds. A fair trade, I’d say. The greatest thing about this game is that it’s at least twice as long as the first. Maybe. I’m not sure, because I don’t want to do the math. The first game had 17 levels (including bosses and vehicle levels), and this one has 5 worlds with 6 levels apiece. So that’s like 30 or something. And as with the first, there may be more once you’ve completed all the standard levels. I don’t know. I haven’t gotten that far yet.

I mentioned earlier that when the Turtles would teleport, their weapons would be taken somewhere different, no? Well, that’s the biggest problem and genre-changer for this game. In this game you start every level sans-weapons, with only an infinite number of shuriken to defend yourself. Needless to say, shuriken are pitifully weak. So your first objective is to get to your weapon. Just because Metal Gear Solid was such a huge success doesn’t mean that Konami has to start incorporating stealth into every second game they make. Boktai was understandable, but not Ninja Turtles. Yes, ninjas do play the stealth card frequently, but Ninja Turtles games have always been about busting heads and such. Not hiding in doorways to elude security. They did it well, but I’d still prefer more action.

Oops. There’s the Metal Gear again. At least the level design is really good. The way the last game worked, you had a set of levels for each Turtle, but in this one you get to use any Turtle in any level. So with that in mind, they made every level with puzzles and spots that could only be solved with specific Turtles, so you have to play through each “on foot” (more on that in a while) level with at least two Turtles if you’re out to get every last crystal, which is requisite for any progress in hard mode. It adds a little bit of life to the game, and the levels are rather big and allow for a lot of exploring so it doesn’t get too dull.

So as I was saying, the shuriken blow as weapons, and you really can’t do much until you’ve gotten your weapon. Chances are, if you try to kill something without your weapon, you’re going to get killed. You could always be really careful and throw a star, hide, throw a star, hide, and so forth, but that takes forever. Luckily, grabbing the weapon makes everything so much easier. Enemies will fall with minimal effort, and you’ll be kicking ass all over the place. On easy, that is. The game is actually quite difficult on normal, and I can’t imagine what horrors reside in hard mode. Triceraton soldiers are an actual threat on normal mode, and in situations where you have one on each side of you, you’re pretty much screwed. The other enemies aren’t that bad, but bosses can show you a thing or two about getting your ass kicked. More on those guys later.

A little ninja action and even more MGS reference. In the next game the Turtles are going to be communicating by codec and April will recite famous quotes and proverbs when you save. Yes, enough of that, it’s time I told you about the levels where you don’t run about slicing things apart. Every world has three normal action stages, two vehicle stages, and a boss stage. And there are several kinds of vehicle stages. The first is the muta-board stage. Pretty much just jumping and shooting anything that comes at you, but there is a tough mini-boss in the second one. There isn’t much to say about it, except for that it’s probably where the idea for Race Mode (more later) came from.

There are also some mini-ship levels. I’m not sure what they’re really called, but the thing looks like a little spaceship, but isn’t, cause it doesn’t go into space. Whatever it is, the levels play out kind of like R-Type, with the side-scrolling shooting and all. Notably, the third boss is fought in this kind of level. Lastly, there are real spaceship levels. Which are just simple rail shooters. Just aim and shoot. Enjoyable, and it gets pretty frantic if you’re playing anything above easy mode. There may be different kinds of vehicle levels later on, but I’m not that far yet. Only finished easy mode and the first world on normal up to this point.

I think I mentioned that the bosses are tough, right? Well if not, I’m tellin’ you now. The bosses of Battle Nexus are no picnic. Of course, everything I type from this point will be in reference to normal mode, because easy mode is easy all around. The first boss is the huge sewer worm thing seen in the first or second episode of the second season. He rolls around, shoots, and chews on your head. Not a huge trouble, but you won’t beat him without taking damage. The second guy is the real trouble spot. Beating his is hard enough, because he’s got a really big hammer, and it hurts. The worst part is that you have to beat him with Mikey at one point to collect all the crystals, and Mikey, well, we’ll say Mikey isn’t exactly the strongest of the four terrapins. I just managed to scrape by with Leo, who is the strongest, and it took me at least ten tries to do it. The third boss, the spasmosaur (fought in the Triceraton gladiator pit on the show) isn’t too tough, because it’s a shooting level, and once you’ve learned a safe spot, you’re good to go. I haven’t seen what the next two worlds have in store, but I’m pretty sure that the Shredder’s going to be in there at least twice. And he was hard as Hell to beat in the first game.

Take the advice. There is no satisfaction in beating Easy mode unless you’re as completist as I am. You do get a password for the GC version, and it’s not a bad password at that, but still. Easy mode is a bit too easy. I don’t think I died even once. But I digress, because there is still much more that needs to be reviewed. Though I’m thinking that thins is getting to be just a little long. I’m around 2100 words now, and I can tell that there are going to be quite a few more, because there’s tons more material to be covered. And you know what happened last time I wrote something that ended up being twice as long as a normal article. That’s right! I didn’t just put that picture that says “To be continued” there for kicks. It’s time for another two-pager, people. So click below and zoom to my favourite was of artificially making my articles look super-long!

(pretend there’s a link to a new page here

Ah. It’s been way too long since I’ve written a proper article, never mind a whole two-pager. If you somehow got to this page first, I’m not sure what the shell you did, but don’t do it again. You’re scaring me. Anyway, on the previous page, I summarized what makes the story mode go round. If I had been reviewing the first TMNT game for the GBA, I’d be done by now, but Battle Nexus has a lot more going for it.

After you’ve had enough fooling around with the Story mode, there are still plenty of challenges for you, and possibly some of your friends to try to accomplish. Firstly, if you haven’t done so, you can go through all of the levels and collect every last crystal lying around. And if you’re completist like me, you’ll even go so far as to finish every level with all four Turtles. That could take a long damn time, so I don’t suggest trying it unless you plan to have a lot of time on your hands. Or, you could just move on and start playing through one of the secondary game modes: Race Mode and Battle Mode.

First up is Race Mode. It’s probably not exactly what you’re expecting. I bet you’re thinking a crappy wannabe kart racer? No? Well, yes, it is back to the Muta-boards for the boys in green. All it is is the four Turtles racing against each other for some sort of glory. Maybe it’s what they do in their free time. Maybe it’s just something Konami thought would be fun. To their credit, it is pretty fun. Until about race 4 or so, where it starts getting tough.

Yay. Look at all of that fun. But really, it’s a simple game. No real attacking or anything. Just holding the “gas” and jumping when necessary. But there are a couple little elements that can give you the edge or destroy you completely. And they take form of coloured ground panels. Basically what happens is that when you drive over these panels, you can press down and get some sort of bonus thing. For example, blue makes you go real fast, and red makes you kill any turtle who you come in contact with. Some are a little more complicated, like yellow which launches you over walls too high to leap normally. This would be fine, but you need precise timing, or you’ll just be flung into the side of the wall.

Reminds me of something blue… something about a hedgehog… But at least in this game you can go fast and not really have to worry about dying. There are 15 courses available, and according to the manual, if you manage to tough it through them all you get to see an ending of some sort. Also, if you manage to do well in the GCN version, you can get some passwords to unlock three bonus courses. It’s not much, but it beats the hidden bike race mode from the first game. That wasn’t fun at all.

But if you don’t like the racing too much, you can go to a seriously challenging mode: the Battle Mode. It’s laid out exactly like Race Mode, in that there are 15 levels, an ending, and three unlockable levels. Or arenas, or maps, or whatever they call them. The thing I’m most worried about right now is the fact that they called it Battle Mode when in reality, there isn’t much battling. In fact, in this mode you want to avoid battling as much as you possibly can. Maybe it was named more for the multiplayer version. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. What I do know is that it’s time for the next picture.

The goal of Battle Mode is to collect so many crystals in a short span of time. At first it’s pretty easy, but then they throw in Triceratons and blocks that need breaking. Some levels even just have a lot of springs that you need to find away to navigate around. And after you’ve finished a map or whatever, they give you a second, harder challenge. I don’t think the second rounds need to be completed, but it sure adds a lot of difficulty to the game. I’ve yet to finish either the Battle Mode or Race mode yet, so I’m not sure what the caliber of these supposed endings are, but I’m going to guess that they won’t be much more than a picture that says “Congratulations!” or “You’re the Race/Battle Champion!”. Really, they’re just extra modes thrown in to add multiplayer and a couple more hours to the game’s life, so you can’t really expect much. They are entertaining though, and sever well as an entertaining break from having to find your weapon in every damn level.

Oh yes, I never yet mentioned that if you get to close to a Triceraton, he will grab you by the neck and bite off your face. At least I assume that’s what’s going on. The animation makes it look so, and it takes off a pretty huge chunk of your life bar, so I’ll stick with it for now. Ooh… And speaking of right now, I think I had a little too much candy… It’s time for me to take a little break from the old writing that I’ve been doing inconsistently all day. I’ll be back before you know it, because let’s face it, no matter how long I’m gone, it’s not like I can really make a commercial break happen as soon as you’re done reading this here paragraph.

(Returns 27 minutes later, having emptied the bowels and completed Battle Mode.)

Well, I finished Battle Mode, and I must say, I was definitely expecting too much from the “ending”. All you get is character art of your chosen Turtle over a background of his weapon and some pretty confetti. It didn’t even say “Congratulations”. I would normally say something along the lines of “That was totally not worth it.”, but indeed it was, as it provided me with material enough for an extra filler paragraph. Because we all know that this second page is definitely not going to be either as high or mighty as the first was. I suspect that Race Mode will yield the exact same results, but perhaps with a different character pose. Oh, right. I got a password too. Not sure what it does, but it had better be good. It’s not on the code list at GameFAQs, so I can only assume that I am the first person ever to finish Battle Mode.

So, now that we’ve seen all the game’s content, it’s time to do the actual review. I think I always start this part with that sentence or a paraphrase of it. I mean, there has got to be something more original to say. Well, I’ll figure that out if I ever review anything again. As usual, I’mma start with the graphics. Just like the first game, they’re fabulous. Character sprites are large and well animated. Each turtle has tons of original animations, (on a side note, they all swim the same except for Donatello, who really gives ‘er.) The bosses are huge, and tend to launch a lot of projectiles, and so far I haven’t noticed any slowdown at all. Backgrounds are good-looking and interactive, but even thought they take place in two different locations, the first and second worlds look way too similar.

Sound-wise, the game is pretty good. The butchered intro is gone and replaced with a quaint recap of events leading up to the game, and is fully voiced by all four Turtles and the Shredder. Of course, all the voices are the same actors from the show, and it manages to work out very well, with only the slightest bit of fuzz. Of course, you also get the various Turtle voice samples throughout the game, and the stage clear “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!” clip. Sound effects are where they should be, with metal-on-metal clangs, laser guns, and other assorted thwacking sounds. The music is decent enough, but barely memorable. It all fits, but it’s nothing you’re going to be humming afterward. You’re probably best just to turn down the sound and put on some headphones.

The gameplay is the most important part, and there’s a lot to cover. The mini-games come first, as they provide mostly backup and multiplayer. They’re pleasant distractions from the main game, but not much else. If they were a little more fleshed-out, they could probably last by themselves, but as it stands, mini-games are what they were made for, and all they’ll ever be. The main game has been slowed down a lot since last year’s entry, with the emphasis being mostly on stealth rather than fighting off scores of punks and ninjas. It’s still fun, but it doesn’t feel like Ninja Turtles until you’ve gotten the weapon. Plus, enemies are usually few, with no more than two ever attacking at a time. On the upside, these enemies are a lot more deadly than those from the first game, so it evens out in the end. The vehicle levels are good fun, and serve the good purpose of keeping the game mostly action-oriented. The game offers a significant challenge, and might be even too hard on hard mode. I’ve yet to give it a go.

Other things to note are that the controls are mostly spot-on, except sometimes it’s hard to attack and run away before you get clobbered by a hammer or get your face eaten off by a Triceraton. In the first three worlds, there is not a single mouser to be seen. It’s kind of expected, but TMNT games, since back in the NES days, have been all about clobbering hordes of mousers for me, so I’m slightly disappointed. There are still two worlds to go though, so I’ve still got hope.

Overall, it’s a great game. If you enjoyed the first game, you’ll probably have a blast with this one too. The stealth aspect is annoying at first, but MGS fans should get a kick out of it. I know it was totally worth my money, and the only thing I still yearn to see is more connectivity between the GBA and GC versions besides the password trade-offs. There wasn’t anything disappointing, so I’m not going to make up anything just so I can tack something negative onto the conclusion. Straight up, it’s a solid game and deserves a spot in the libraries of any gamers who enjoy platformers and/or beat ’em ups. And I’m under 200 words away from 2000 on this page, so I’ve gone and rambled enough to fill up two pages to my personal expectations. I guess there’s only one thing left to do. And that’s knowledge that you just wasted (x) minutes/hours of your life reading this tripe. It’s not so bad I probably spent about 4 times that much writing it.

Working: is it really worth it?

Since I’ve been working for over a good month now, I think that I’ve got the experience to properly go over the good and bad points of working. I’ll also go and pick apart why working at Tim Horton’s can be either absolute Hell or an enjoyable experience.

Firstly, we’ll tackle the biggest question. Get it done right off the bat. Is working really worth the money? Well me, I’m a lazy ass, so I’d say no. Particularly at low pay and crappy job. I’m sure it will get better once I’ve moved onto a more enjoyable job that pays better. There isn’t much to be expected from a first job at a restaurant or coffee shop, but such is the way of the slacker career.

And then there’s the fact that working can actually take up all of your time. When I work in the mornings, I still get some time in the evening to go about my business, and still have time to sleep. Truly, the morning shift is the optimal shift, even if I do have to get up early. The evening shift is Ryan time murder. You see, since I have to start getting ready to leave by one, I get maybe three hours of time to do stuff. and after working until 11, I like to get right to sleep. This allocates pretty much all my not-work time to sleeping time. But it is a much better shift, because it’s pretty much dead all night, and I just get to goof off all day.

Tom Horton’s isn’t a bad place to work. Not at all. It’s just a bad place for me to work. I hate anything requiring movement, and I have to stand up for almost 8 hours straight each day. Sure I can take it, but it’s not my preferred way to spend my day. At least if I were carrying stuff and putting it on shelves I’d be doing something, but at the Timmy’s I just stand there all day. That’s not the only thing that angers me about the job.

You see this coin? I hate it. I hate it with every inch of my being. Yes, we had some, but the vultures pounced and took them all within two days. A week later, we got the next shipment, and $500 worth of these things were gone in 4 HOURS. And everyone who comes to the damn till asks for them, even though we have a sign saying we’re all out. Then I have to tell them we have none, and they get mad at ME. I have two sayings for everyone who has and will ask me for these: “fuck off” and “don’t shoot the messenger”. It’s not my fault we have none. It’s not my fault people are crazed about these stupid baubles. I don’t see what the big attraction is. Ooh, it’s got a poppy in the middle. Fuck a doodle doo.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to mention how stupid people are. We don’t take interac or any sort of money cards. It says so on the doors, the menu, AND on the till machines. Three places that prospective buyers are bound to look. Yet they can’t figure it out. Every day I get idiots who come up, order, and get their food, then pull out some sort of card. I say “Sorry, we take cash only” and they say “What? Are you sure?”. Then I ask why I’m not allowed to hit idiots. Also, I must stress that at least half the population cannot read. It’s a “cruller”, not a “curler”. It says so right on the display. You stupid, stupid people. The last point here can’t really be helped, but I detest having to help those with really thick accents. They’re terribly hard to understand, and I just can’t stand it. I mean, there’s this mute guy who comes in every once in a while, and he’s so much easier to serve.

Now let’s get to the co-workers. I work in a place populated almost 100% by females. It’s both great and terrible at the same time. In any case, everyone’s nice and such, and tries to get along with me. So much nicer than back in the days of school. Unfortunately, I’m not all that social, so it seems like I’m kinda rude, but I am trying. While I’m on the topic, have you ever just despised someone, but had no real reason to do so? I currently have that problem. There are a couple girls I just can’t stand, but have no reason to feel that way. They’ve done nothing to cross me, so I don’t really get it. Oh well.

I guess I should mention some good things about working. I certainly have learned some things I never would have cared to figure out otherwise, like how to do laundry. I’ve also picked up the good habits of always keeping my wallet and a timepiece with me. I’ve made a bunch of new friends at work. Something I never really expected to accomplish. But as it is, I get along quite well with pretty much all the girls I work with on a regular basis. And I even went out with a bunch of people from work last weekend, which is totally not something I (or anyone else) would see myself doing. Plus, having income is great. It’s not much (since I’m putting half away for school), but it’s enough for me to buy stuff I like, so it works out.

And easily the best part of working is that now I have work stories to tell! I’ve never been much of an anything-doer, but now that I work, I have plenty of tales to spin. Like the time where I was so bored I balled up a waxie and bent a stir stick and played hockey on the counter. Heh heh. That was fun. Or the time where I wrote “Caution: T-Virus” on one of the coffee pots. Sadly, nobody who understood the reference came in before it was washed off. Indeed, there are plenty of crappy points about working, but I think that overall it’s probably a good thing. That being said, I have to go shower. For work is at three, and I’m nowhere near ready.