I can see you

It would seem that the Toys ‘R’ Us “radio” is slowly turning into a bastion of horrible, horrible cover songs. First it was 900 bad versions of every Christmas carol back in November and December, but I guess those are to be expected. But once the Christmas garbage went away, things didn’t get a whole lot better. At first, it was a Godawful version of Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed”, and that was enough to get me riled up, because nobody can sing that song as well as Paul. Nobody. Lately, it seems that a new offender has snuck onto the playlist, in the form of a mockery of U2’s “Pride”. And you know it’s gotta be bad, because I’ve never really liked U2 to begin with.

I can’t imagine that these bad covers will go away, and I know that more will amass in time, which leads me to my topic today: Women should not cover songs originally by men.

I know it sounds a little bit sexist, and it is, but you’ve got to respect that I actually have a somewhat valid point here. Beyond the two songs I’ve mentioned up there (which I forgot to explicitly explain were done by women), let’s take another example that hits pretty close to home. A while ago, Damone released a video of a cover of Billy Squier’s “Everybody Wants You“. Now, I love the original song, and as those who pay attention know, I generally like Damone. This is a problem because their cover sucks ass. Watch the video clip. Or better yet, just turn it on in another tab and keep reading this, because the video is even worse than the song. “But Ryan,” you say “It sounds exactly like the original!” You’re right, but that’s why it blows. There’s no inspiration here! They pretty much play the song note for note, and I cannot respect this type of cover. Even worse is that Noelle’s singing sounds so forced and disinterested, which is totally uncharacteristic of her. Half the reason I like Damone is because they have a vocalist who really seems to love what she does, but that doesn’t show at all here.

You could argue that this doesn’t fall into “covers by women” because the rest of the band is dudes, but it’s still kind of there. In fact, I bet if I hadn’t pointed that out, half of you would never have thought of it. Anyway, the point here is that in my experience, cover songs by women are sad husks of the songs they once were. I mean, it’s not like no women have any musical talent, but historically, men have been far more successful at crafting fine music, and when women try to emulate that music, it generally ends up as a garbled mess.

I actually had a lot more to say, with points and counterpoints and everything, but it turns out that if you want to say something and not look like a complete dumbass, you either have to know a lot about what you’re talking about, or do a lot of research. I have a pretty fair knowledge of music (taste being no factor), but I didn’t really feel like going the extra mile to make it really good. I hate research, unless I’m doing it for fun, and I don’t file “blogging” under “fun”. The really sad part about it all is that I was going to turn it around and get to the point where I would be discussing how the women who are really good at making music are overshadowed by prepackaged pop idol garbage, and my apparent sexual bias would be defeated, but no such luck. So let’s just say that any woman who’s achieved any degree of mainstream success in music sucks (except the girls from Heart), and that all the good ones are underground.

Also, uness you’re Paul McCartney, do the world a favour and don’t sing “Maybe I’m Amazed”.

I’ve paid my dues

News, everyone! Apparently E3 started… today? I dunno. I kept hearing about it, but failed to get caught up in the hype. In any case, my beloved dailies (Game|Life, NWR, Wii Fanboy, etc) are flooding with all sorts of information, and it’s already getting hard to keep up. I kind of hate E3.

But, there’s a big bright upside to all of this. No, it’s not new Mario Galaxy footage (though that is pretty hot). In fact, it’s the fact that RE: Umbrella Chronicles is apparently great. When I heard the premise of the game, I was not filled with hope, but if one of the few game journalists I idolize thinks it’s wonderful, who am I to disagree? I suppose time will tell if I like it that much, but at least now I know that I probably shouldn’t just ignore it completely like I’d originally intended to do.

Other things to say that I’m excited about? How about dates for Smash Bros Brawl and Mario Galaxy? I like those. Though I’m still twtiching in my seat waiting for more information on No More Heroes. I’d say that above all, if there was one game that sold me on the Wii, that would be it. Killer7 is one of the kickassingest GC games ever, and I can’t imagine that NMH will disappoint in any way. I could live without Mario and Metroid, but damn, I needs me some No More Heroes! (To help illustrate how hyped I am for this game, I bought $90 sunglasses and have begun spiking my hair so I can be more like Travis Touchdown.)

In through the out hole

You know what? I was going to discuss the annual Lac du Bonnet Canada Day parade, but to be frank, it wasn’t really overly noteworthy. I guess you really can’t expect too much from a small town parade though. Also, the window of me caring has long since past. To tell the truth, the whole weekend lacked anything worth mentioning. I think that the most important things that I accomplished last weekend were hitting the 400 mark in Pokémon and catching up on a couple episodes of Retronauts. Yeah. My life may not sound exciting (and it’s not), but that’s the way I likes it.

I don’t really have anywhere to go with this then… Just thought I’d make my intentions (or lack thereof) clear. Also, the episode of Futurama where Planet Express Ship falls in love with Bender is on, and my attention can only be devoted to one thing at a time. Needless to say, Futurama wins over blogging.

Monkey magic

Was out at the cottage for Canadia Day celebratations. Happy belated, by the way. I’ll run up some general impressions/stories/whatever it is where you tell about a generally uneventful trip probably tomorrow or maybe even Wednesday. Now, more Ouendan chatter.

I’ve been spending a lot of my time away from Resident Evil 4 playing Ouendan 2, and while I’ve already mumbled a few uncoordinated sentences about it, I think it’s probably worth a revisit to pick out the more outstanding nucances of the series, and what makes it so much more enjoyable than the basic rhythm game.

I said last time I talked about Ouendan 2 that I had been apprehensive about the soundtrack, and why wouldn’t I be? My experience with Japanese music is shockingly limited, given my burning desire to seek out new music. And given that a lot of popular music in the North America region does in no way suit my tastes, I guess I was kind of expecting popular Japanese stuff to be equally off-putting to me. But quite to the contrary!

Not only do I find almost the entire soundtrack enjoyable, but a lot of the songs are really fantastic. The main factor here would be that even on the most basic level, Japanese music is so obviously different than North American – and even European – music, that it kind of falls into it’s own category. Our Black Eyed Peas are one of the few bands that feature constant simlutaneous male and female vocals, and they have a weird sort of sound that merges rap and pop. Mihimaru GT, on the other hand, has the same man/lady vocal schtick, and they also do the rap/pop blend thing. But depite the simlilar nature of the two bands, I cannot stand the former, and cannot help but be entranced by the latter. Plus, if we’re comparing Fergie to Hiroko, Japan wins hands-down. Ewwww Fergie.

And let’s not just skip past the really high points for the sake of making a semi-intelligent sounding post. Have you heard “Bambina” yet? If not, get that embedded video above loading on the double! Hotei Tomoyasu is nothing short of a musical genius, and I don’t doubt that everything he touches turns to gold (metaphorically, of course). That isn’t to say the rest of the soundtrack isn’t splendid as well; “Samurai Blue”, recorded by ZZ – apparently Japan’s answer to Fall Out Boy – given all the oh-oh-ohing – is fantasically catchy, and Mika Nakashima’s “Glamorous Sky”, when kept in the context of the Ouendan scenario, tugs at the heart like a box of abandoned puppies.

But the music in not the only thing that has really drawn me into the game. I discovered with Elite Beat Agents (Ouendan’s North American counterpart) that iNiS’ simple approach to rhythm-based gameplay was was fantastically addictive. Rather than confounding yourself with making sure you’re hitting the right button/fret/whatever it’s called on the dance pads, the Ouendan formula makes life easier by just having you tap beats in the right order at the right time. Of course, while the concept is simple, mastery of it takes time, practice, and most of all, good rhythm. That is to say, Jews are pretty much screwed. (jk jk jk I’m not anti-semitic!) When you start out, the beats will appear long before they need to be hit, but once you get up to the higher difficulty levels, they show up almost right when they need to be poked. And the fact that once songs get beat-heavy, the chains will start intertwining, and you’ll not only have to make sure your timing is right, but you also have to be careful that you’re following the numbers properly. Needless to say, it can get pretty hectic.

Of course, this is all before you factor in the ever-present “rhythm game life bar”. You may know it better as a “Dance Gauge” or “Rock Meter”, but it’s all the same thing; basically a bar present of the screen that causes you to lose if it’s emptied. The various gauges and meters in other rhythm games are pretty damn leniet, decreasing with a missed mark, and increasing with a hit mark. Ouendan’s is a little more evil. Rather than being static between beats, the life bar in Ouendan is constantly depleting, and at higher rates in higher difficulty levels. Missing a beat altogether will cost you a serious chunk of the bar, and on expert mode (“Magnificanet cheering”), hitting anything less than perfect beats will only serve to slow the trickle. One song in particular, “Believe”, is so slow that while playing on expert, I could hit every note (albeit not a perfect hit each time), and still fail the song halfway through because the bar was emptying faster than I could fill it. It took a long time, but eventually, I pulled of a long enough streak of perfect hits to make it to the end with but a sliver of life remaining. To put it simply, the game gets difficult. And it’s not like you’ve got a Star Power gauge to carry you through the rough spots either. No, if you want to play Ouendan to its full potential, it’s really a go-big-or-go-home kind of game. Like Bonk’s Revenge or Bram Stoker’s Dracula, where you can only play through the whole game if you’re playing on the hardest difficulty setting.

So yes. I think that’s about everything I needed to say. Also, if you haven’t played them yet, or can’t see them for some reason, I’ve embedded music videos for two of my favourite songs from Ouendan 2 in between the preceeding paragraphs. Hotei Tomoyasu’s “Bambina” was an obvious choice, because it’s not only like the best song ever recorded, but the video is wicked trippy too. The second, featuring Sambomaster’s “Sekai Wa Sore Wo Ai To Yobundaze” is a great song too, and I really like the concept of the video. In conclusion, if you have a DS (or even if you don’t), import it now. Buy Elite Beat Agents too while you’re at it, because despite the somewhat sketchy track list, it’s still incredibly fun. And more sales mean more sequels, so hop to it!

Baby BANG! BANG! BANG!

Here’s an interesting one. I don’t know if you’ve ever played Akumajou Special: Boku Dracula-kun (roughly translated as Kid Dracula), but there’s something odd about Dracula-kun. See, the thing is that he looks alarmingly similar to the comic representation of myself. I’m sure you’ve seen the Ryan character a million times by now, but just take a look at lil’ Dracky-Kun!

The similarity is undeniable! I was so shocked by this revelation that I even wrote and drew a comic about it. Not great comic by any standards, but it gets the point out there.

So obviously if there’s any plagiarist here, it’s me, because the original Kid Dracula was released on the NES Famicom waaaay back in 1991. But even then it was only ever released in Japan. I did read the article in Nintendo Power about the Game Boy version like a million times though, so maybe it just kind of burned the character into my mind. Who knows? As a character whose appearance has changed quite a lot over time, I obviously never planned Ryan to look like that, but the powers that be had other plans, I guess. Thing is, I would have lived my entire life without noticing if it weren’t for the magic of ROMs. To celebrate, let’s all go play some ROMs. Particularly Kid Dracula!

Never bargained for you

As I mentioned in last night’s post, I picked up the (cheap!) Wii Edition of Resident Evil 4. Hey, I didn’t get the PS2 port, so it’s not so bad. And I sold my GC copy and a few other games to fund the purchase anyway. But bugetary concerns aside, holy smokes!

Now, you may not believe me, because you’re all cynical asses, but playing Resident Evil 4 with the Wii remote almost makes it feel like an entirely new game. I loved the laser sight of the original, really I did, but the aiming reticule is just so much more practical, even if it does make the game a tiny bit easier (NB: aiming at distances is now possible). The new knife features are great, particularly the “homing knife” as I like to call it, which, when you make a slashing motion with the remote, will automatically make Leon turn towards and slice anything within striking distance. It may again seem to ease up the difficulty, but really it’s just a time-saver. Slashing to use the knife in itself is far more fun than button knifing, and boo to all those “but I don’t want to move when I play games” douchebags. Laziness is the lamest excuse ever, and I should know. Also I like twitch reloading. It’s fun.

But motion-control lavishing is not all I have to do today. No! I am also impressed by the new junk that Capcom added in when they ported the game to the PS2. The Separate Ways sub-game is very nice, but I am disappointed by the pre-rendered cutscenes. They are visibly crap in comparison to the real-time cutscenes in the main game (all the PS2 version’s cutscenes were FMV, the GC’s were all game engine). Capcom could have gone the extra quarter-mile and redone them in real-time to really impress me. But you know what? Griping about cutscene quality of what amounts to a really elaborate mini-game is superficial. I feel bad about it. I just really wish I could beat the game on pro difficulty, because I want to play with that sweet new laser weapon. Though that brings up another good point.

When I played through the game like four times on the GC, I always found it had a stable amount of challenge, and I never really took note of item underuse. Not that it was really hard, but it surely kept me on my toes. I remember the first time through I didn’t have anywhere near enough money at any time, and health supplies would always find use. But when I blazed through it on the Wii, by the time I reached the bulldozer scenario, I noticed that things were getting a little cramped in my inventory. It only got worse by the time I faced off against Krauser in the ruins. And while the situation was getting a little better over time (that last area can get a litte hellish, and the helicpoter pilot was taking a lot of friendly fire liberties), but by the time I was ready to face the final boss, I still had almost as many healing items in my inventory as I’d used over the course of the game. Not only that, but all my weapons were top-level, and I still had plenty of pesetas to go around. Either the Wii version takes it a lot easier on you, or I’ve gotten really good at the game. I’m betting on the latter, because if it’s true, maybe I’ll finally be able to finish that stupid cabin scenario on pro. That’s where my game always ended on the GC.

In summation, RE4 Wii Edition really kicks the llama’s ass. No, wait, that’s Winamp. But RE4 Wii is still damn sweet. Made me fall in love with the game all over again. If you never played another version – and you’re a douche if you haven’t – it’s system-seller good. I can see logging at least as many hours into this one as I did with Twilight Princess (two playthroughs worth), and I’ve already played this game multiple times.

You can join in too

Well, the tall one is now officially a high-school graduate. My parents feel very old, despite the fact that they are decidedly not.

My wisdom teeth came out last Wednesday, which I may have mentioned before, and things did not go nearly as well as I’d hoped. I mean, the surgery and everything went off without a hitch, but it took many days to heal! I had to call in sick on Sunday! I’ve never called in sick to work before… On the upside, for the most of my downtime, I had Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition by my side to ease the pain. Well, my pain anyway. I can’t say the same for all those ganados. More on that tomorrow though.

So anyone else really like Zelda’s redesign for Brawl? I love it. Though to be anal about it, it’s Link who was originally a brunette! God damn.

In any case, I’m sure I must have mentioned this before, because I’ve told like everyone I know about it, but the official Smash Bros site is updating every weekday. It’s usually nothing big, but on the odd days when they reveal a new item or remixed song, I’m a very happy me. The soundtrack, as it currently stands, is probably going to be a two-discer at least, and will totally be worth buying. The current handful of samples that are up on the site are fantastic. Motoi Sakuraba’s take on the menu screen theme is wonderful, and it’s just the menu theme. I really hope he gets to work on at least one more track, and I’m looking forward to Akihiro Honda’s and Yoko Shimomura’s contributions in particular.

But yes, the daily updates have pretty much been my reason to wake up in the morning for the past couple weeks. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite excited about this game. I know I’m getting my hopes up, but is it too much to ask for any Capcom character to show up? Doesn’t have to be MegaMan you know. Arthur? Dan Hibiki? Nemesis? If Solid Snake can make the roster, I’m sure any of those are valid nominees.

Don’t let me down, my sweet baby

So yeah. I was poking around the internets last week and came across the Odin Sphere artbook. Needless to say, I was impressed by the art direction, and the magnificent care that obviously went into creating even the minorest of characters (I love the mandragoras!), and the scenery is just fantastic. Of course, the brilliant art is what everyone agrees on about the game.

I happened to be in the mall on the weekend, and while I normally try to avoid the chain, I decided to stop into the EB and peruse their wares. As luck would have it, they actually did have Odin Sphere in, and, well, you know how I am with money. BUT! I have to say that it was $50 well spent, because just as I’d presumed, the game is right up my alley. There’s a fun combat system and what’s looking like a solid story, but the real enjoyment is in the very elaborate item juggling system. At least, that’s where I find the meat of the game, being an obsessive-compulsive packrat. If you watched me play Odin Sphere, you’d probably think it’s just all dull gardening and item mixing, because that’s what I’ve been doing with the bulk of the time I’ve spent with the game. To Hell with progressing the story! I want to make a potion that will fill the entire screen with phozons!

So anyway… Crap. I was totally going to make a completely different post today, but I guess that got derailed kinda quickly. Maybe I’ll get into what I’d intended to be today’s topic during the next couple days. I’ll have nothing better to do, because I’ve taken the next three days off in hopes that that’ll be long enough to recover from having my wisdom teeth torn out of my facehole. Which happens tomorrow morning. Not looking forward to that. I love eating, and unless I heal like a motherfucker (for which history will vouch that I do not), I won’t be able to eat anything but milkshakes for a while. Not that I don’t like milkshakes, but I’m really going to miss meat. And candy. Mostly the candy.

My rock is in you

Back from my little vacation at the cottage. And just in time too!

My copy of Moero! Nekketsu Rhythm Damashii: Osu! Tatake! Ouendan! 2 arrived yesterday, and I couldn’t be more excited about it. I enjoyed Elite Beat Agents to no end (still play it quite a bit, actually), and I’ve gotta say that the J-Pop soundtrack in Ouendan 2 is far less of a problem than I’d originally expected. In fact, most of the songs are really good. And it’s maybe even a little harder than EBA too, as I’ve been playing “Sekai wa Sore o Ai to Yobundaze” on Hard for like an hour, and I still can’t manage to get past the last part. But then again, “Jumping Jack Flash” took me a long time to finish too, so maybe they’re equally difficult. We’ll just have to wait and see how far into Very Hard I can get on Ouendan 2.

In other news… Er, I don’t know. There was somehing else I meant to say today. OH! Wait… No, nevermind. I’ve long since forgotten, and I don’t think it’s coming back. That means time for more Ouendan!

Revenge is always fun

I don’t know what I was thinking when I assumed that most Wii users would prefer a physical challenge over a mental challenge. It certainly didn’t hit me that most people voting would likely be lazy, physically inept gamers until after I had locked in my guess. To tell the truth, I’m really surprised that it came as close as it did. Maybe Nintendo really is reaching out to new people.

You know, scratch that. The thing that truly surprises me is that I still find the Everybody Votes Channel interesting.