Hey! Hey! Hey!

For approximately ten years, Super Mario 64 was my favourite video game ever. I’ve purchased three different versions of it, and played it to 100% completion at least a dozen times. It has been dethroned, and I think it’ll take at least twice as long for the new champ to get knocked down a peg.

To put it simply, Super Mario Galaxy is so good, I’m not entirely convinced that the last three days haven’t been a dream.

Everything about Mario Galaxy screams awesome. It will rock you so hard that your unborn children’s unborn children will get shivers down their spines. I kind of want to stop playing video games because I know nothing will ever compare to the pure bliss that is playing Mario Galaxy.

I’m really not smart enough to put proper words to this game, so I’ll just mention my favourite part: the Bowser stages. They’re rock solid platforming levels that could easily knock the socks right off any players without ample skill. The Bowser stages in Mario 64 were tricky, and these ones are too, but in entirely different ways. The last one in particular is like a mashup of everything great about platformers, and then you get to the second half and you’re really sweating because the game is literally throwing everything it has at you at once. It’s so freaking awesome that words cannot even begin to describe it. I love it and I will be playing this game until the day I die.

Taste the steel

I think I’ll just let a video do the talking for this one.

But seriously. I’m not a huge metal fan, but I fell for DragonForce real fast-like. In sharp contrast to most fans’ opinions, I think I like the vocals the best. The lyrics -at least thematically- are more or less the same in every song, but I just totally love to sing along to DragonForce more than any other band. Try them out.

One thousand hearts bleeding

Errr, so have you playerd Guitar Hero III yet? It’s like… awesome.

Everything about Guitar Hero III is excellent. The presentation was a little too much for me at first, but it’s grown on me. Playing online is totally awesome, because I can play against someone without actually socializing, and battle mode is twice as fun as anything else. The track list is maybe not as wonderful as that of the impending Rock Band, but it’s still absolutely great. “Cities on Flame With Rock and Roll” (Blue Oyster Cult), “Stricken” (Disturbed) and “Closer” (Lacuna Coil) are my personal favourites. I don’t think I’ll ever finish the game though, because I’ll probably never be able to beat “Raining Blood”.

If I have to lobby any complaints against it, I hate the fact that they dropped my two favourite characters, Pandora and Eddie Knox. I was almost ready to boycott the game for that one, but Casey Lynch has a sweet lookin’ leather getup this time around, so I’m willing to forgive. I’ll never forget though. Also, Bret Michaels isn’t in the Wii version. It makes no difference at all, it’s just one of those WTF things.

In the end, it’s all good. If anyone reads this and has the Wii version, I’m more than willing to take you on. Just send me an e-mail and we’ll set it up for me to destroy you. At “Through the Fire and the Flames”. I haven’t lost at it yet. Nobody’s even come close.

I like to rock

I should start this post by correcting the previous one. I played Ninjabread Man some more the day after I made that post, and really, once you get used to the odd controls, it works okay. It’s not nearly as horrible as I made it out to be, it’s actually kinda playabe once you get the hang of jumping. And as for the sword? Totally unnecessary! Turns out that Ninjabread Man’s throwing stars increase in power each time you kill an enemy with them, so while the first couple will take like seven billion shots to kill, eventually they get really useful. And Wiimote aiming makes it twice as convenient. In closing, I was an ass to Ninjabread Man because I got frustrated and gave up quickly. It’s still not exactly a shining example of what a video game should be, but I’ve milked four hours of play time from it, and based on my salary, that’s made it more than worth the $20 I paid for it. I can even see going back to it to complete some of the harder challenges, so yeah. I’m sorry Ninjabread Man, you don’t deserve quite as much spite as I directed toward you.

Before I get off the topic of half-assed games, I spent a little time trying to get a little farther in Rule of Rose. Being the first time I’ve sat down with the game for more than half an hour (despite the fact that I’ve had it for months now), I guess I can now form an opinion. It’s pretty good, as far as the horror bit goes. It’s every bit as tense as Silent Hill, and a good deal more disturbing, given some of the themes. Gameplay is a mixed bag. Using the dog to hunt for items works way better than in Haunting Ground, but the controls are a bit unwieldy. Not horribly so, but a pre-release tune-up would have made all the difference. In any case, it’s a freaky-ass survival horror game, and despite some badness, that’s pretty much exactly what I was looking for. Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it sooner than later so I can get started on my most recent acquision in the genre, Siren.

In other news: Guitar Hero III launch is tomorrow. This means that basically I won’t be leaving my room for ever. Online play will be more than enough to keep me rocking until I die of exhaustion or dehydration or hunger or some combination of the three.

Gas tank is filled with vengeance

Look at the box to the right of this paragraph. “Ninjabread Man”. Does this not look like the greatest game ever conceived? Conceptually, yes it is. Otherwise…

Every once in a while I see a cheap game and based solely on the title or cover art, I will buy it, regardless of whether or not it probably sucks. Usually I do okay in this department. Bad Day LA, for example, is pretty bad, but it’s still playable, and even a little funnny at times. Ninjabread man, on the other hand, is not so spectacular.

I think it’s safe to say that Ninjabread Man’s biggest fault is the Wii. Being a ported PS2 game, developer Data Design clearly just tacked on motion controls to justify the port. But that’s their downfall. This game has awful, awful controls. Game-breaking controls. Firstly, you have to jostle the nunchuk to jump, which is a really bad idea. Then you swing the remote to attack, which wouldn’t be so bad, except for it only registers your swing like 30% of the time. The worst part? They had more than two buttons left over, so why can’t I turn off the motion controls? When they work, like in Zelda, motion controls are a great thing. In Ninjabread Man, they make the game almost unplayable.

Other complaints are far less important. For one, Ninjabread Man runs far too fast, and accelerates from 0 to 100 in about one second, which takes some getting used to. Also, the camera is a little janky, but that’s hardly an issue. On the positive side of things, the entire concept of the game is hilarious and I cannot express how much I would be able to tolerate it with a regular controller. But no. If you’re looking for comical ninja action, I suppose I-Ninja is still the way to go. Or you could just play Ninja Gaiden II on the Virual Console. You won’t laugh, but it’s a kickass game.

We carry on

Imagine, if you will, a play composed and performed by retarded monkeys. That would basically be your localization of Final Fantasy Tactics. The PSP port, The War of the Lions, on the other hand, is more akin to reading Shakespeare. No, really. I expected the story to be comprehensible this time around, but the thickness of the dialect they applied is astounding (in a good way). Let’s just say the improved loacalization alone is more than enough reason to play through the game. There. If you’re not sold on the fact that now you’ll be able to tell what in God’s name is going on, then read on.

 

I guess the only other real addition to the game I’ve seen yet (I’m on mission five, which is about as far as I’ve ever managed to get in FFT) is the revolutionary new “cutscene” feature. It’s this thing where instead of always having the fat little sprites quibble about with their text boxes, once in a while there’s animation and voice. But seriously, the cutscenes are beautiful. The style is so very inspired, and makes me happy to be watching my game instead of playing it. Or at least makes me forget the irritation of having just sat through twenty minutes of tubby sprites gabbing at each other.

Ummm… I dunno. If I have to gripe, it’s that they didn’t add an easy mode for people like me. I can shred through killer solos in Guitar Hero, but for the life of me I cannot manage to successfully get five heavily-armed men to take out three unarmed goblins. It’s a wonderful game though, regardless of how much I suck at it. But hey, on the upside, at least the outcome of the war between Heaven and Hell won’t be resting on my shoulders.

War has been declared

For many, many years, I was quite apathetic towards driving. You might even say I didn’t really like it at all. That might help explain why it took me just over four years to get my full driver’s license. Even after I got my license, I wasn’t totally up on the idea. All that changed when I got my car. The day that I bought that car was the day I learned to enjoy driving. In fact, I’d say that buying a car was the best thing that’s happened to me all year.

And that is exactly why I’m kinda broken up that the little guy is probably going to be leaving me.

A little over a week ago, the back end of my ride was cruelly taken away from me by some dumb hick from Saskatchewan. Well, okay, that’s not entirely true. Only the bumper is really gone. The trunk is busted but good, but the car is still perfectly drivable, patched together tailight and all. Also, it may have been ever so slightly my fault, but we’re going to let the insurance adjuster have the final say on that one. Anyhow, I’ve got an appointment to assess the damages on Wednesday, and the general consensus is that it’s going to be written off.

I’m going to miss my car, and I may get enough scratch to help me buy another old car, but only now do I understand why some guys really love their cars. It did a lot for me, and in the short few months we were together, we’d gone through a lot of stuff. It wasn’t just a vehicle, it was a companion in its own right. No matter how many other cars I buy in my lifetime, none will ever be the same as my Spirit.

Fuck. That’s at least two eulogies this year. I hate 2007.

It’s all yours

Hey hey hey. Band of the Month time. And this month’s band is a little group called Letterkills. I actually wrote a reivew of their CD, The Bridge, almost two years ago now, so maybe check that out for more info on that CD. It’s also got a small paragraph detailing how I started listening to the band, so I guess I don’t need to repeat that story here either…

Ummm… That’s really their only CD, so there isn’t much more to say. They don’t seem to have a real website, and their MySpace just has songs from The Bridge. Wow. Guess I’m done here then. Recommendation is clearly implied by the fact that they’re the Band of the Month.