Page 206 – Burning the midnight oil at noon

True Crime: Streets of LA

Once again, I’ve been playing a game that would seem a little different from the status quo. Sure I dislike Grand Theft Auto 3 and Vice City, but True Crime is in a whole different ballpark. If you havent played it or actually talked to someone who has played it, you’d probably think that is is indeed a GTA clone, but that’s not even a half-truth, it’s only a 6th-truth. Or so I’ll assume. I was never too good at math.

I must admit that at first I thought that it was “a GTA with good graphics”. and I was right and wrong at the same time. Now the graphics alone are pretty well done. The character and car models are great, though pedestrian skins are limited, and the actual environments look fabulous. But this is also one of the game’s failings. There are graphical glitches everywhere. And most of them are big ones, with people walking into the ground, and with huge gaps between sidewalks and lawns. It’s really a shame, because other than all the huge errors, the graphics are pretty polished and, well, pretty.

As for the music, you know how I feel about rap, and the game is absolutely full of it. I think only about 2 or 3 songs on the entire soundtrack don’t qualify as rap or hip-hop. Though in this game, they fit. Mystifyingly enough, I didn’t turn them off (even though the option does present itself). Somehow it just felt right.

The sound effects and vocals are great. From the explosions to the pitter-patter of pimps jaunting down the street, all is well and aurally satisfying. Actually, I can’t remember if there are footstep noises, but for the sake of making the game seem better we’ll say there are. The quotes are funny and sometimes clichéd, but hey, they work. And the way that different people act to different situations is great. When shooting a bad guy, if a lady is present, she’ll probably scream out “They’re killing everybody!” and run off, while after a frisking, any black guy will say “Didn’t anyone catch that on video?”. My personal favorite comes from picking up a health thingy: “Even my jock itch is cured!”.

Now the story is pretty sold, as far as cop stuff goes. Our hero, Nick Kang, is your typical half-Asian rogue cop whose dad was a cop and died mysteriously on duty. Then all the cliché cop story plot twists, including dirty cops, Russian mafias, conniving hookers and crazy sushi chefs come into play and we get an expected, yet fulfilling story. My only gripe is that in one chapter, there are zombies, ghosts, flaming skulls and dragons. The story was totally plausible and then they go and mess it up. And to top that, you know what they did? They passed it off as a dream sequence. Worst possible story twist EVER. Trust me guys, I don’t know much, but I know that dream sequences are bad news.

One last merit is that there are 3 endings, with a good and bad version of both, effectively creating 6 possible endings. None of them are all too long or interesting, but it gives you something to go for, and I’m not gonna complain. I like multiple endings.

Now we get to the real game. First of all, the basic stuff is generally an extended version of the PSX’s World’s Scariest Police Chases (and I love that game). By extended I mean you can get out of the car, and there is more than one type of street crime that criminals can commit. There are drive-bys, cannibals, pimps, catfights, you name it. Plenty to keep occupied.

The fighting system is pretty cool, and allows you to learn new moves and throws as the game progresses, making beating up enemies that much more fun. The only thing is that besides (final) boss characters, the enemies are way too easy, and you could easily pummel 6 guys at once. The shooting elements are great, as you can pull of bullet-time jumps, and the aiming system itself works really well. One little note, shooting a car in the gas tank will cause it to explode in one shot, and it’s very, very fun to watch. Don’t even try it if you want to be a good cop.

And speaking of good cop, there is a system in the game that lets you decide whether you want to be good or bad. Like Black & White almost. It’s a simple system, and the less people you kill, the better off you are. I don’t know if you get anything for being bad, as I played through the whole game good, but you do need to be good to get to the last few levels.

The replay value of the game is, sadly, pretty weak. If there was a multiplayer mode like in WSPC, it would live forever, but it just isn’t there. The game itself proved to be just a little too easy, with any difficult parts being way too difficult and way too rare. There are quite a few levels to go through, but most of them are short and you’ll probably be waiting for it to load longer than you’ll be playing.

The one most redeeming factor of the game is that your hero and mine, Snoop Dogg, is an unlockable character. The only problem is the grueling process of unlocking him. Around the city are 30 dogg bones, and they’re very small and very hard to find. There is another way, and it’s a simple button code.

For Cubers – R, L, (Dpad) Up, Right, Left, Down, Z, Z, A, Y, X, Y.

Anyone else, you have to look it up yourself. :p

But getting all those bones is totally worth it. I loved playing as Snoop. He’s just so hilarious. All his cussin’ and being a total badass just make that game that much more fun. Oh, and I can’t forget the pimpmobile.

Other than that, the only real unlockables are new cars and a “bonus” FMV of some CIA guy getting his groove on. Any other “unlockables” are really just new moves or upgrades for the stuff you already have, and for the most part aren’t worth the trouble.

I had it for 3 days, beat it 100%, and enjoyed doing it, but I don’t think I’ll be spending any more cash on this one. If there was something I forgot to mention, sorry, but it’s pretty late and I wanted to do this before I completely lost the urge to. After all my raving/bashing, my final score will be a B. Maybe it deserves better, maybe it deserves worse. It’s really all up to you to decide, because this is just my opinion.

The Good Stuff:
Good cop/Bad cop aspect adds a little variety Shaking down random people is hilarious SNOOP! Did I see Ron Jeremy in there? Plays better than GTA

The Bad Stuff:
A little too short and easy No replay value Dogg bones are a major pain to find The soundtrack is all rap/hip-hop

I ran

I knew a puppy would make a big change in my everyday life, but damn, I never expected that I’d get shafted into having to watch him all the time. Jeez. On the other hand, I rented Rebel Strike this weekend, and let me tell you, it’s one helluva game. I think I’ll do a mini-review… So back to what I originally came to post for. Today I found this video of a speed run of Super Mario Bros 3. Simply amazing. If you want, check out the 100% speed run for Metroid Prime too. I’m awestruck, really. My Metroid game is really going to change now. If only I was as good as people think.

A few links to the SMB3 video.

The Metroid Prime speed run

~Ryan out.

Animal

I have three things to report:

1. I never expected it to actually happen, but we got a dog. His name is Mojo and he really likes my shoes.

2. I still haven’t got around to fixing Paint… Help me!

3.I’ve been reading an HTML tutorial, so my skills are increasing slightly and I’ve learned a few new tricks. It might not make a noticeable difference, but if notihng else, my coding will be a lot neater.

~Ryan out.

Hang on

I still haven’t fixed Paint. I have the tools to do it, but I don’t have the knowledge to use said tools. Oh well. I wrote a new mini-review to try and make up for the update drought. I’ll probably do another one soon too. After you’ve read it, you may wonder why it didn’t go under the Game Guides/Reviews section. It’s mostly because I didn’t submit it to GameFAQs, because they have a very specific list of requirements, and this review breaks most of them. And, you know, I wanted something to put under mini-reviews. I wish that this Angelfire thing had a spellchecker…

~Ryan out.

Piglet’s Big Movie Game

Given my personality, you might be surprised when I say I don’t play a whole lot of video games targeted for kids around the age of 5 or less. Then again, there don’t seem to be a whole lot of those. And then again again, most that I’ve seen are total crap, mostly in the form of terrible gameplay. Even the graphics are shunned when making a game for small children. But there is at least one game that totally shatters this mold. Obviously you know what I’m talking about, unless you managed to misread both the link and the title. For any of youse who did pull that off, I’m talking about Piglet’s Big Game.

Just to clear my name, my youngest brother owns this game, I did not rent or buy it for myself. He wanted me to play with him, and I enjoy playing games, so I couldn’t say no. Though since it isn’t too bad a game, I guess I really don’t have any need to justify my playage of it.

I’ll start with the superficial stuff first. In a word, the graphics are beautiful. They are really great, even Luigi’s Mansion-esque, if you will. And Luigi’s Mansion has some of the best graphics I’ve ever seen. Back to Piglet, the character models are really nice and literally well rounded. No blocky crap here. The environments are also really nicely done. They all bask in 3D glory, but the way the game is, they probably could have been pre-rendered. More on that in a minute.

The music is there, nothing to be all that proud of, but not something where you’ll turn off the volume so you don’t have to deal with it. Like with most games and movies, the music is able to set a certain mood, and accompanies each different environment. The voice acting is superb, and I assume that they got the same VAs for the game as they did for the movie (which I’ve never seen, that’s why I’m assuming). But I know the voices of the Winnie the Pooh characters, and if they aren’t the same, they sure do a good impression.

The story is based around Piglet helping out his friends. Gee, how could this be any more cliché? There is a twist: he helps them by going into their dreams. He’s like the Anti-Freddy. I’m having a hard time deciding if that joke was really funny or really lame. Obviously, each character is represented in his dream world, and they all have their own little problems. I’m sure they could sort things out by themselves, but the dreams have been invaded by heffalumps and woozles. For all you out there who have no clue what I’m talking about, they’re elephants and weasels. Scary elephants and weasels. So Piglet beats these guys and helps out his friends. I haven’t finished the game, so I don’t know how it ends. Sorry. I know you were dying to find out.

As far as gameplay is concerned, the game is pretty solid. It’s kind of like a slow paced adventure game. We’ve got Piglet wandering finding items and beating up enemies. “Beating up” is a bit of a misleading term. He actually scares them out of existence. Yep, Piglet scares scary dream monsters out of existence. No matter how you say it, it can’t sound right. But that’s how it goes down. Along the way, there are cookies hidden all over the place, and they can be revealed by kicking random and often obvious objects. These cookies are used to “purchase” new “brave faces”. Brave faces are, by most general description, Piglet’s attacks.

After finishing a level, you can even go back and play a new mode called “Bravest of Them All”, in which you’re sent to chase down all the heffalumps and woozles. Only thing is, now they run away, and you don’t have to “fight” them, just catch them. As for a catch, there is a time limit for each room, and boy are they harsh. You have to be perfect to do it successfully. There is absolutely NO room for error. A trait never before seen in a game for young children. I love it.

The levels themselves are really the high point of the game. Each level is molded around what that specific character might have on his mind. For example, Eeyore is a pretty depressed guy, and his world shows it. The first part is a very spooky Halloween-like place, with gloom and misery rampant, and the second part is a creepy castle which has lost its colour. Then there’s Roo’s level. I can’t explain why, but his world is like one big craft. Everything is made out of cardboard and got the Crayon treatment. It looks like something out of Yoshi’s Story, or at least the Yoshi’s Story level of Super Smash Bros. I think it’s a really neat way to do it, and can provide for some very interesting experiences. I won’t find out personally, but I think this game would be cool to play while in some sort of inebriated state.

While the game is absolutely great from an artistic standpoint, I do have a few qualms with it. For one, the “battles” are just a little too hard for anyone who doesn’t know the controller layout by heart, and may discourage some players. Kids are easy to discourage. But I was just fine, of course. Secondly, the pace is far too slow. Piglet plods along, and you’ll probably want to stay one hit from death just because he runs a lot faster in that condition. Even though I like the idea of playing as Pooh and Tigger, they’re also way too slow. I don’t care if his parts are stealth-based, Tigger should move a lot faster than he does, and not tiptoe everywhere. Lastly, it might just be me, but every time I play this game I get really sleepy. It’s not a boring game, but it just puts me to sleep really well. Like it’s got some kind of hypnosis thing in it. Hmmm…

There are a few bad points to the game, but I have even more good points. A couple, mainly the voice acting and the level design, have already been expressed. One thing I really like about the game is that it can play with your emotions, mostly it’ll make you laugh. The Brave faces are almost all funny to see in action; in one Piglet goes all Satan, and I was just rolling around laughing after I saw that for the first time. Piglet himself is a pretty funny guy, and seeing him run around absolutely terrified is funny, as long as pity for the little guy doesn’t get in the way. The other characters offer some comic relief too. Rabbit’s original problem is that he’s stuck in the ground like a carrot, and just spills over with irony. And we can’t forget Pooh, who is totally loveable and jocular as always. Conversely in Eeyore’s level, there is actually an element of creepiness. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s there.

There are unlockables, and they consist of scenes from the game and clips from Piglet’s Big Movie. Not exactly the greatest of prizes, but hey, breadsticks is breadsticks. Options are limited, but they offer a Final Fantasy 9ish game of catch the frog. There is no multiplayer to speak of, but you weren’t expecting any, were you?

And now that I’m getting far too close to a decent word count, I’ll part and say that Piglet’s Big Game is most definitely the greatest kiddy game that I’ve ever played. Although Mickey’s Magical Mirror game was pretty good too. Damn, now I’m not sure which one I like better. But then again, Magical Mirror wasn’t exactly a kid’s game, it was pretty complicated… Ah Hell, I’ll just go ahead and give Piglet an A-. Though I did give Magical Mirror a 5… It was a bit more fun… Who would have ever thought that this reviewing thing would be so tough? That’s it, I’m just gonna stick with what I said, even if it does contradict itself over and over. But I’ll draw your attention away from that with a funny picture of a banana. Enjoy!

I am a banana!!

The Good Stuff:
Excellent graphics and sound Every level has a distinct style/theme Plenty of humour Way above average for a kid/licensed game Bonus modes for completed levels Respectable difficulty for small children…

The Bad Stuff:
…But far too easy for someone my age Very slow gameplay. Even as Tigger Cookies are sometimes annoying to hunt down

When it’s over

I’ve been getting a lot of people e-mailing me about the Wario Ware GBA ROM. Now it wouldn’t be so bad, but the site I got it from is long dead, and I can’t help ’em at all. If only there was a free web site thingy that allowed me to post ROMs. Then I could post my Wario Ware GBA ROM so that they could all download it and see how great it is before dropping $40 on something they may not like. So to resume what I’ve just said, I don’t know where to find a download for the Wario Ware GBA ROM. So I can’t help you if you want to download it.

And now that this page says “Wario Ware GBA ROM” and “Download” so many times, the Google search will probably bring up this page before the actual review page. And now that people can read this,they can stop bombarding me with e-mails. Thank you for your time. And buy the damn Wario Ware GBA game.

Oh, and sorry about the lack of updates. I haven’t been able to fix the Paint thing yet, and that’s an integral part of how I make my articles. So the only things I could possibly post in the near future are Chat Radios (very unlikely), mini reviews (likely, I just saw Matrix: Revolutions), or a new GameFAQs submission (unlikely). That wraps up the news for today.

~Ryan out.

Trouble

Now this is a real problem. Paint just died, and I have no alternatives. I guess there won’t be any normal article or gallery updates. So, uh, just hold on for a while until I can analyze the problem and get it fixed. Of course, that could take a while. I guess there isn’t much to say, so I’ll see ya later.

~Ryan out.

Save me

The time change was nice, I got an extra hour of sleep, which could have been used to work on two huge assignments due Wednesday and Thursday that I have no time to work on now. Like I said, it’ll be a busy week, and I’ve just been looking over some of my old stuff, and noticed that (if counting all Chat Radios separately, guides as one, and the gallery as one) I have 30 unique things to read/look at on the site. Getting close to that 50. Someday.

Aside from that fact that ripping pics from .jpgs in MS Paint is incredibly slow and annoying, I’m doing pretty well with the next article. Remember, it’ll be twice as long as usual, so it’ll be worth it in the long run. I hope everyone enjoyed the OliverBot chat. I’ve read through it like 5 times and find it funny every time, so I assume others will enjoy it as well. And I redid the gallery, and made thumbnails so it should take less time to load.

Last thing I want to mention, is that I’ve written a small review of one of the movies I watched this weekend, I might do one for the other if I feel that it’s absolutely necessary, or if I’ve got time to waste, or homework to do. So check that out under the new category on the Articles page. That’s about it for now. Adios.

~Ryan out.

28 Days Later

Today I’m gonna try something new. It’s what I’m gonna call a “mini-review”. It’s just like a normal article, except it’s a lot shorter and has no pictures. Plus the lack of proper intro and conclusion. This doesn’t count, it’s just explaining how the mini-review works. Maybe sometimes there will be a couple pics, but not for today at least. I think that I’ll start on a high note today, and review my first movie. Sure, I said I’d do a review of Airplane, but that fell through because I can’t find it and I swore off downloading movies and music. So like the title says, I’m gonna take a quick look at the newest zombie horror-type film, 28 Days Later.

Now before I get into it, 28 Days Later is not your standard zombie flick. Sure, the plot might be somewhat similar to a certain movie about a certain Resident Evil, but on the whole, it’s a very original movie, in all respects. At least I think so.

It starts off with some animal rights geeks busting into a monkey testing lab. A lone scientist begs them to get out and leave the monkeys in the cages, but you know those anal animal rights geeks. They don’t listen, and bam! world-threatening situation. See, these monkeys were infected with what the now-dead science guy calls “rage”. It seems that it turns the carrier into a bloodthirsty monster. And now the plot is settled.

The greatest part of the movie is undeniably the way the title is worked in. After the monkey attack, the screen goes black, says “28 days later…” in the corner, and goes to 28 days after the incident. Here we find our hero, cleverly named Jim, naked and alone in a hospital. He awakes to find the place a mess and the city deserted. After stumbling around for a while, Jim runs into his first “infected”, ironically, a priest. He runs, and several infected chase him until they’re blown up by some mysterious masked not-infected.

So they save him and get all “we need to survive” on him. I only remember the chick’s name was Selina (I think), because the other guy gets hacked to bits later on. Then Jim and his new buddy find some other buddies, a fat guy named Frank and his daughter Hannah. They all go on a road trip to find some kind of sanctuary. And then Frank gets mad at a crow, resulting in the dropping of infected blood in his eye. Oh, I forgot to mention that the “rage” travels by blood, and getting even a single drop of it in your bloodstream will have you turn into a murderous animal of your former self within 22 seconds.

I’ll leave you there, because I don’t want to spoil the rest of the movie for you. Already I think I’ve given too much away. Then again, you know from the first time you see him that Frank is gonna die. So I’ll say that I’m in the clear this time. Now to look at the more cinematograpical parts of the movie. It’s fun to make new words.

I’m not sure why, but people seem to be very critical of actors’ acting ability. Personally, I can’t tell exactly what good acting is from bad acting, so it’s really all the same to me. I suppose that you’d say the actors are good in this particular movie. I know that the infected give rather convincing performances. Especially the army guy, who you’ll get to know better when you watch the movie.

Speaking of the infected, they are what really separate this film from other zombie flicks. These guys are not your daddy’s zombies. While they look like the generic zombie (perhaps less decaying) they certainly don’t act like ’em. These guys are fast. They run like Hell until they’ve caught their prey or die trying. They’re essentially people reduced to the lowest form of animal consciousness, and covered in gore. Not to mention their enjoyable pastime of spitting up buckets of blood.

The music is for the most part what you would expect, very moody and frightening. But when things aren’t totally down the crapper for the stars, the music is very upbeat and happy, soothing even. I don’t know how to explain why it works, but it does. And (to my knowledge) it’s all made specifically for the film, no bands of any sort that I could recognize.

As for anything else, the special effects were great. Actually, all effects were great. They actually filmed it in London of wherever, and somehow they did it without any signs of life at all. No lights on, no car, no people, no noise. Nothing. It’s really something you can think about and appreciate. The infected effects were above par, mostly because they didn’t have to do the falling apart like most zombies, and just put lots of fake blood all over them and pop in some red contacts. I should also mention that there is a nice amount of exploding in the flick, and good explosions can salvage almost any movie. I also liked when they did “infected-cam” scenes. I’m not totally sure why, but they were a fun part of the movie.

The DVD extras are always my least favorite part. They’re usually crappy storyboards or music videos. This one came with storyboards, production photos, and a nice surprise, 3 extra endings. My beef is that two of the endings are the same ending, just cut into two. The third one, the “Radical Alternate Ending” is the crème de la crème of special features. It’s a storyboard with voice-overs that shows a completely different end, not just with a minor twist like the previous two. I would have loved if it had been shot and put in, as it seemed like it would be enjoyable to watch. Heck, I liked it a little more than the real ending. I’m not sure if there were any other features, cause I didn’t check, but chances are they weren’t worth checking out anyway.

Overall, I really loved 28 Days Later. It wasn’t scary in the least, but it was a lot of fun. The only part I didn’t like was the brief and obscure wang shots, and the man butt. But those were over right away, and they were quick so they didn’t interfere too much. Sadly, that was the only type of nudity in the movie, but that can be forgiven. There was plenty of blood and gore, which I loved. Nothing better for a horror than tons of gore. There was plenty of cursing, which I’m impartial to, and the “attempted rape” scene was barely that. The story was solid, at least I think so, and it made enough sense to be plausible. This movie definitely gets my seal of approval. A+

The Good Stuff:
Seamless title integration Plenty of gore Plausible story Cool, ass-kicking pseudo-zombies One sweet bonus ending (even if it is in storyboards)

The Bad Stuff:
Hollywood zombies will never be the same… Man ass The other two bonus endings are lackluster

Losing my grip

Remember that week-long thing I was yapping about last news post? Well, it’s gonna be pushed back until the first week of November, as I haven’t done it this week, and I’m very busy every day next week. The MegaMan themed article is written out, and now I have to splice pics without Photoshop. That will be my excuse as to why they look crappy and why it’s taking so long. In other news, I’m bored. I miss F-Zero GX.

~Ryan out.