Where do we go now?

Psssh. That wasn’t so tough. Here I thought Guitar Hero 2 was going to rough me up a bit, but after a four-hour power session, I’ve gone and made “Freebird” my bitch. Okay, I’ll admit it took tons of both skill and luck, but still, I imagined it’d be a little harder.

Oh blah. I like to pretend EXPERT doesn’t exist. Hard is just where I like things. Besides, Eric’s playing Expert, and he says it’s kicking his ass all over the place, and he’s a good ten times better at this game than I am. And yes, I named my band “Six Machine”. It’s a freakin’ awesome band name.

I guess that about wraps it up. I guess as kind of a teaser of the inevitable, I’ve already got most of my “10 best games of 2006” picked out. Guess where GH2 stands.

They won’t leave me alone

The Band of the Month for November is none other than the legendary Cheap Trick.

Well, okay, maybe they’re not exactly legendary, but any band that’s featured on Guitar Hero (2) has to be at least somewhat famous, right? Well, that or a house band. But hey, that’s not the point. What is the point? Well, I guess it would be that I like Cheap Trick. My dad’s a huge fan, and like so many bands before them (KISS, The Eagles, Journey, etc), that’s exactly why I first started listening to them. I mean, his taste in current music is questionable at best (I’m sorry, but I hate jazz. It’s just so… condescending.), he’s got a rather excellent collection of 80’s-era music.

Lucky for you, I don’t feel like pretending I know anything about music today, so I’ll just refer to you their website, on which you can listen to a handful of their songs. Also, if you’ve never been, my Myspace page features a wicked live version of “Dream Police”. Kick ass.

Fact: “Dream Police” beat out Drist’s “Decontrol” for the spot on my MySpace page. And I really like “Decontrol”

Fact 2: Guitar Hero is now mentioned on half the posts on the main page*.

*This fact is subject to change

Hey rock ‘n’ rollers

With every day that passes, my lust for the Wii grows stronger. Unfortunately, my fears that I will not be able to secure one on launch day are also increasing. Like, I’m having nightmares about it. But I’ll spare you my whining about that for another day. Today: Guitar Heroism. Sort of.

Long story short, I found this totally sweet program called Frets On Fire. It’s essentially Guitar Hero for your PC, but with a few key differences. One, you play with the keyboard. That sounds like crap, but the game actually suggests you hold teh keyboard like a guitar, and it works out really well. Guitar Hero vets will be rocking faces off pretty quickly. Secondly, you can add your own songs to the game, essentially giving it limitless potential. It’s kind of a complicated process, so I haven’t tried it yet, but the pack I downloaded came pre-loaded with all the Guitar Hero tracks and then some (try isoHunt) so I’m good for now. I’m sure it won’t take long before I try to stuff some Garey Hoey or more Blue Oyster Cult in there though. The only downside to the game is that it seems to be pretty buggy. so far, three out of five play sessions ended without my consent. If you need more songs that GH offers (remember, GH2 comes out in like three days) or want to see what GH is like without dropping ~$90, it’s definitely a good program to have around.

You’re a bad-hearted boy-trap

It’s been a while since I said anything about Guitar Hero, so maybe right now is a good time. I’ve been working hard at 5-starring all the songs on Hard, and slowly making progress through Expert mode. I’m definitely getting better, even though I stumble through most solos by luck alone. I swear, my fingers are nowhere near coordinated enough to play through some of the rougher spots that I’ve managed to succeed at.

The main driving force behind my effort to master the game is that now the entire song list for Guitar Hero 2 has been released. And if you know any of the songs on there, you’ll agree when I say that GH2 is gong to be monumentally difficult compared to the first. “Freebird”‘s placement as the final song is entirely deserved, as it’s a nine-minute song with a four-and-a-half minute solo. “Bark At The Moon” will look like a cakewalk compared to that. Hell, even “The Breaking Wheel” will seem easy once I’ve had my ass handed to me by “Misirlou.”

On the upside of all this, I procured the demo disc from November’s OPM, which conveniently includes a demo of Guitar Hero 2. And as I sit here, hunt-and-pecking away at the keyboard, eating my ramen and peas dinner (Dinner at 11PM? You bet.), I can’t help but wonder why it is that I’m not working on getting a respectable score on “YYZ.” It is a great demo though. I can’t get enough of “Strutter” and “You Really Got Me” is incredibly fun to play. The only bummer is that you need an SG controller (or perhaps a third-party Flying V) to play, so the demo’s only good for existing GH fans who can’t wait half a month more for the sequel. It’d be nice if they had Dual Shock support so people new to the game could give it a whirl, but really, what is Guitar Hero without a guitar controller?

Look at the hottie in the tight jeans

I watched The Bechwarmers the other night. It was surprisingly good. I mean, it’s not something I would buy, but I’ll recommend renting it. Dick and fart jokes, plenty of slapstick, and mucho vomit. Exactly what I look for in a dumb movie. Plus a bunch of good names. I’m not a huge Rob Schneider fan, but he, David Spade and Jon Heder do a commendable job on this one.

Bought me a buttload of CDs over the last couple days. Four, actually, but I defy you to load your butt with more than four CDs. Bad Religion’s The Empire Strikes First is fan-frickin-tastic, and Thrice’s Red Sky EP headbutts women in the ovaries for fun. The other two (Resident Evil Soundtrack, OK Go’s Oh No) are less notable, but I like them enough to have bought them. I also finally found a copy of The Alpahbet of Manliness. Needless to say, it’s the best book I’ve read since… Well, probably ever.

Lastly for today, I will wipe any doubt that I don’t kick major ass from your mind. Behold:

click for king-size

Frankly, “Bark At The Moon” was a bitch, but otherwise, I think I’m getting pretty good. I’m not going anywhere near Expert mode though. Not until I five-star everything on Hard, at least. It literally frightens me.

I could crush you with my voice

You know what’s really weird? When I play air guitar, I play left-handed, but when I play on a guitar or use any object as a mock guitar, I play right-handed. Odd, no?

I think that’s pretty much it. Would you think less of me if I told you that the trailer for “The Devil Wears Prada” got my attention? Cause I’m feeling pretty bad about it.

you know, while I’m here I should probably get the ol’ Band of the Month post out of the way. Better sooner than later, ya know? This month’s band is a rather small-time group out of San Francisco called Drist. They seem to be on their way up, what with being featured in both Guitar Hero games, and just generally increasing interest from the public. I myself only know a handful of their songs, but I’m very eager to hear more. Oddly, my favourite song is a cover of Depeche Mode’s “Stripped,” which is far more energetic and face-melting than its source material. Not necessarily better, as the original is quite charming in its own way, but downright awesome all the same. Their submisison for Guitar Hero – “Decontrol” – is also incredibly awsome. Anyway, they’ve built themselves some notoriety in punk/metal circles, and you’re probably more likely to have heard of them than most obscure bands I blog about. Definitely worth looking up if you like your music hard, fast, and loud. Good luck with that though. Their MySpace page would be a good place to start if you are interested.

The price of freedom is getting steep

E3 starts tomorrow, but I’ve got something else on my mind at the moment: Guitar Hero 2. A couple days ago, the first few tracks in the game were revealed, which got me thinking about which songs I’d like to see. So with the revealed tracks ignored, here’s my dream track list for Guitar Hero 2 (Not necessarily in order of difficulty, but arranged in such groups).

Tom Cochrane – Life Is A Highway
BTO – Takin’ Care Of Business
Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band- Roll Me Away
Span – Baby’s Come Back
Colin James – Chicks and Cars

Styx – Blue Collar Man
Firehouse – Lover’s Lane
Journey – Line Of Fire
The Doors – Peace Frog
Poison – Look What The Cat Dragged In

Motley Crue – Kickstart My Heart
Tesla – Don’t De-Rock Me
Story of the Year – Wake Up The Voiceless
Matthew Good – North American For Life
Guns N Roses – My Michelle

TSOL – Everybody’s A Cop
Headstones – Cemetary
Heart – If Looks Could Kill
Kansas – Carry On Wayward Son
Loverboy – Hot Girls In Love

Harlequin – I Did It For Love
Nazareth – Razamanaz
Kiss – Psycho Circus
Rush – Closer To The Heart
Van Halen – Unchained

Thrice – The Artist In The Ambulance
Trooper – The Boys In The Bright White Sports Car
Def Leppard – Rock Brigade
Whitesnake – Here I Go Again
Lostprophets – A Million Miles

Note the inclusion of more than one Canadian band. At least Rush is confirmed for GH2.

I’m gonna rock you tonight

First, I have a very important link for you. Yeah, quit your moaning. The Legend of Zelda is 20 years old now, and 1up.com has published a very nice retrospective on the series. If you’re reading this post, you need to read this article. You owe it to yourself. And then go play some Zelda.

The other thing I want to talk about today is Guitar Hero for the PS2. It’s been out for a while, but it’s also been a very slippery game to get a hold of, and only recently did the local EB get some copies in, and me and my brother pounced like a horny teenage boy on the drunk chick at a party. Well, I’m more than pleased. The first thing you should know is that we have both found it extremely hard. Of course, I’ve never even seen a guitar, so that’s understandable. Even with the level of difficulty, I’ve been having a ton of fun with it. Beats dancing anyday, although my left hand is seriously cramped from the fret buttons. The best part of the game is without a doubt the soundtrack. Featuring bands I adore such as Boston, Deep Purple, and Queen, there’s no lack of great music to rock out to. First video game soundtrack (with “real” songs) to be free of rap, I think. Nice bonus there. Not to mention that the illusion that I’m playing “More Than a Feeling” brings me a joy that cannot be expressed in human words. Final word: If you don’t have some irrational and unfounded hatred of rhythm games, grab this one. It beats the pants off DDR as far as fun and music go, and it’s even more entertaining than Donkey Konga. Grab a second guitar and a few buddies, and you’ve got hours of limitless fun.

Bongos a go-go, baby

Yeah, I want to get back to playing Donkey Konga 2, so today I’m just going to provide you with some links. Hey, it’s something, so stop complaining.

Walking-stick defence – A good one that I’ve been meaning to link to for a while now. Make sure you click the ad at the top.

New Penny Arcade – No real need to point it out, other than because I find it to be the funiest thing I’ve seen in a long while. And I just watched five seasons worth of South Park.

Dick Turtle’s webpage – It’s really no more than a terrible game and a wallpaper, but you know how I love to post stuff about Dick Turtle.

Mary-Kate and Ashley’s Dance Party of the Century – No comment.

Donkey Konga 2 review – If I were reviewing it, I would be wasting valuable playing time, now wouldn’t I?

The True Story Behind Darth Tater – Star Wars is coming soon, and I figure I should add a little Star Wars into each post until then. At least.

Xbox 360 – Now, normally I wouldn’t do this, but… so sleek… And white… there are some better pics of the “console” and controller on the site if you look around a bit.