Category: Video Games

The price of freedom is getting steep

E3 starts tomorrow, but I’ve got something else on my mind at the moment: Guitar Hero 2. A couple days ago, the first few tracks in the game were revealed, which got me thinking about which songs I’d like to see. So with the revealed tracks ignored, here’s my dream track list for Guitar Hero 2 (Not necessarily in order of difficulty, but arranged in such groups).

Tom Cochrane – Life Is A Highway
BTO – Takin’ Care Of Business
Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band- Roll Me Away
Span – Baby’s Come Back
Colin James – Chicks and Cars

Styx – Blue Collar Man
Firehouse – Lover’s Lane
Journey – Line Of Fire
The Doors – Peace Frog
Poison – Look What The Cat Dragged In

Motley Crue – Kickstart My Heart
Tesla – Don’t De-Rock Me
Story of the Year – Wake Up The Voiceless
Matthew Good – North American For Life
Guns N Roses – My Michelle

TSOL – Everybody’s A Cop
Headstones – Cemetary
Heart – If Looks Could Kill
Kansas – Carry On Wayward Son
Loverboy – Hot Girls In Love

Harlequin – I Did It For Love
Nazareth – Razamanaz
Kiss – Psycho Circus
Rush – Closer To The Heart
Van Halen – Unchained

Thrice – The Artist In The Ambulance
Trooper – The Boys In The Bright White Sports Car
Def Leppard – Rock Brigade
Whitesnake – Here I Go Again
Lostprophets – A Million Miles

Note the inclusion of more than one Canadian band. At least Rush is confirmed for GH2.

Mass Review Time: Episode 1

I did a little shopping over the past week, and rather than talk about each item separately in the blog as I usually do, I figured I’d take a page from Mike’s book and do a mass review of the stuff I bought. It just seems so much easier that way, and you only have to sit through one boring article rather than four boring bog posts. Everyone’s a winner! Except you. And everyone but me. So in conclusion, I’m the only winner.

• Item #1 – Boston – Walk on

Now, many of you should know that I really love Boston. I mean, they’re a fricking sweet band, how could I not? In any case, most fans think that Boston’s releases went downhill after their second, Don’t Look Back. I’ll admit that Third Stage was a little weaker than I’d hoped for, but Walk On is awesome.

The disc is split into three parts. The first three songs are kickass, even if “Surrender to Me” was featured on Don’t Look Back. The second part of the disc is the “Walk On Medley”, a set of four songs that could stand on their own, but come together to make what could very well be the rockingest 12-something minutes ever recorded. The last set of songs is a bit weak and forgettable, but that’s forgivable due to the high quality of the rest of the album. Hell, the “Walk On Medley” alone is worth the purchase price (which was about $12). Seriously. It was basically the reason I bought the album in the first place. Also, I really love “Surrender To Me”. Score: A

• Item #2 – Guilty Gear Dust Strikers

The most expensive item on the list, totaling up to about $40, is a game I’ve been looking forward to for a while. Why? Well, to be honest, the DS doesn’t exactly have a great catalogue of fighting games. The only one I had before this was Jump SuperStars, and as great as that game is, it wasn’t going to last me forever and I don’t feel like importing Bleach and it’ll still be awhile until King of Fighters DS is released.

But now it sounds like I’m making an excuse for buying it. That would be because it hasn’t exactly been getting the greatest of reviews. they say it’s too far from the base GG material or something, but I’m not seeing what’s so wrong with it. Granted, my only previous GG experience is with Guilty Gear Advance, but I loved that game immensely. GGDS seemed like the next logical step. I’ve been playing it a lot since I got it, and I’m very much enjoying it. Of course, I’m pretty crap at fighting games (makes you wonder why I love them so much), but I’m even starting to get reasonably good at this one.

Basically, the game takes the base fighting game mechanics (think Street Fighter, but cooler) and tries to cross-breed them with Super Smash Bros. This ends up with multi-tiered stages, items, and up to four fighters. It’s a little more hectic than your run-of-the-mill fighter, but I’m convinced that it works. Word on the street is that Guilty Gear Isuka for PS2 works in a similar fashion. The only thing that they forgot to implement was Wi-Fi multiplayer, which is strange considering how long it was delayed for.

Aside from the fighting, there are a handful of touch-screen minigames, all of which are kinda dumb and/or hard except for one. Their only purpose if to unlock movesets for a single customizable character. And speaking of which, those would be the only unlockables in the game. It’s odd for a fighting game not to have a small warehouse worth of unlockables in this day and age, but I don’t think that the game suffers any because of it. Mostly because I’d never be able to get half the stuff unless it were time-released or something else not relating to skill. Score: B+

• Item #3 – Bust-A-Move DS

Have you read my Bust-A-Move article? That alone should really be enough to justify why I dropped $20 on BAMDS. I mean, why not? It’s portable Bust-A-Move, which in itself is worth even $30. Not to mention that the damn game has been out since December or so and this was the first time I’d seen it anywhere. A chance encounter is all it was, and I couldn’t have hoped for better.

So how is it? It’s friggin’ Bust-A-Move! Do I really need to tell you how it is? To be honest though, it is a little tricky to get used to. See, the D-pad is way oversensitive for Bust-A-Move, and there’s no control stick, so what’s a guy to do? Well duh, this is the DS we’re talking about. Obviously you get to aim with the touch screen, which works awesome once you get the hang of it, which takes maybe five minutes tops. Also it features 5-player single-card multiplayer. Top notch!

One odd thing to note is that both DS games I picked up were made by Majesco. What a silly coincidence. Score: A

• Item #4 – Haunting Ground

I saw this game one time at Superstore and I was like “Holy crap! New Capcom survival horror game!” but it was like $35 and I didn’t feel like taking that chance. Luckily, while I was perusing the games down at the Best Buy, I found it for a meager $20. That was more like it! While it was clearly more of a budget title, I was pleasantly satisfied with Obscure, so my susceptibility to a cheap survival horror game was at it’s highest.

I haven’t played very far yet, but for what it’s worth, I’m very much enjoying Haunting Ground. If you’ve ever played a Clock Tower game, you’ll have a very good idea of how this one goes down. If not, here’s the lowdown: you’re a (rather busty) girl trapped in a big spooky castle being stalked by a big spooky ogre-man. The catch? No weapons. Unlike most survival horror games, Haunting Ground really emphasizes the survival bit by leaving you almost completely unarmed, save a few defensive items to help slow down your stalkers. Unlike Clock Tower though, you are aided by a friendly dog who will attack your assailants for you, but it’s still more of a run-and-hide game.

I probably just suck at it, but I’m finding this game almost as difficult as it is entertaining. That damn ogre-man is a lot more persistent than I need him to be, but it does add a good bit of fun to the game, as it’s always more rewarding to complete a difficult task than an easy one. The dog is also really cool. He’s animated really well, easily the best video game dog I’ve seen to date. Oh, and he acts like a real dog too, with the not listening to you when he doesn’t feel like it and all. The scenery is also insanely pretty too. If you like graphics, you’ll love this game to no end. If you like gameplay, you’ll like the game too, but maybe not quite as much. Sadly, the music is little more than atmosphere… And speaking of atmosphere, the game builds so much tension that lesser men will pop while playing it. Score: B

Everything is better when I’m not around

So I think I’m dying. Or really malnourished. I’m not too sure. Anyway, time for more important matters.

The new New Super Mario Bros video is up. It’s really looking good, but upon closer inspection of the bottom screen, the levels seem to be a little short. Let’s just hope it ends up being as good as Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World.

I shouldn’t have to remind you, but E3 starts in a week. It’s gonna be an awesome show, because we’re finally going to see some Revolution Wii games. Hearing all this talk about Red Steel and Madden 2007 (which sounds like it’s going to be really sweet) is all well and good, but I need something I can really sink my teeth into. Like maybe a video or two of the new Super Smash Bros game. Anything from Nintendo would be nice, really. This is going to be even better than the E3 where they showed off all the Gamecube stuff. It’s bringing back memories of the time before the GC was released, where my friend and I would just sit at IGN and refresh every minute in hopes that some new screenshots or videos would be added. Ah, good times. Good times.

In other news, I may have an article tomorrow. I may not. Depends on how I feel today. And also if I spend the whole day sleeping, like I have been for the last 4 days. Damn overnight shift broke me good. Thank God it’s almost over.

It doesn’t have any soul

Hey, check it out. Another WarioWare copy! But it has been a while since I linked to the last one I found, which is, on that note, still hanging around.

So anyway, I’ve gotten most of what was on the Comedy-Napalm TE over here now. It’s just a matter of the news archives and the CD collection at this point. I’ll be posting a new article later this week, as well as another CN article. What else will happen is strictly up to fate. Oh, and I guess a Band of the Month post should appear in there sometime too. What with April ending today and all.

All I can say, I shouldn’t say

Welcome to the new and very sextastic Torrentialequilibrium.net. I hope you enjoy your stay. Things are a bit disjointed at the moment, but they’ll all be up and in their places soon enough. Big things are going to be happening around here pretty soon too, so make sure you come back every now and again.

That said, I have a Brain Age blog review scheduled for today, so let’s get to that.

First off, Brain Age is not really a game. It’s software intended not to entertain you, but to get your brain moving and in shape. That said, it’s still pretty neat to mess around with. The main idea of the game is to take a series of test each day in an effort to work your brain and keep it at it’s sharpest. Your progress is track by your brain age, which is tells you how old your brain seems by how well you perform. On my first try, my brin was ranked at 77 years old, which I’m certain is pretty horrible. After a couple days though, I’ve been able to work it down to a more respectable 32 (20 is the lowest you can get). The tests include the Stroop Test, some basic arithmetic, and other such things.

You can also get that prefrontal cortex motoring with some basic brain training exercises. These excercises include more basic arithmetic, reading out loud, counting syllables, and other stuff. One exercise in particular shows you pattern of numbers (from between one and ten) for about two seconds, and then you have to poke their positions in order of highest to lowest. You get a stamp every day that you complete at least one exercise, and you unlock more exercises by accumulating stamps.

Finally, the game has a huge number of Sudoku puzzles built in, and while I find Sudoku very easy and not at all worth all the attention it’s been getting lately, it is fun to try to get really fast times on the various puzzles.

The neat thing about Brain Age is that you play it holding the DS sideways. It seems a bit wierd at first, but ends up being far more comfortable than holding it normally. I think it’s an interesting piece of software, and at the bargain price of $25, it’s definitely worth checking out.

Oceans of light envelop me

You know what? I’m not even going to bring it up past this short paragraph. It’s not going to happen. It’s just a name. It’s not worth shitting my pants over. (CONTEXT: The name “Wii” was just unveiled)

Now I’ve got a little dilemma. I seem to have forgotten to tell you about the Silent Hill movie, but I also promised I’d share my opinions on Brain Age today. I don’t want to do both, (why waste a good blog post?) so I’ll just have to push Brain Age to tomorrow. Again.

Okay, so Silent Hill. I love the games very dearly, and if you keep up with this blog, you knew that. So obviously I was very psyched about this movie. It also filled me with fear and sadness because as a rule, video game-based movies blow. Silent Hill did not blow, despite what Scott and Tycho may be telling you. I’m going to go on record and say that it’s the best video game movie ever made. In fact, I loved it. There were so many great things about it that I don’t know where to start. I guess the first thing to hit me was that at least half the music in the movie was ripped straight from the first game, or was at least so similar that I can’t tell the difference. Next, the camera work was brilliant, and very reminiscent of the game. Lastly, the “crazy world” parts were very well executed, and made me a very happy Ryan. The base of the story remained mostly the same, and there were some huge changes that kind of irked me, but I won’t spoil anything like that.

The things I didn’t like about it are as follows: 1) I miss Harry Mason. 2) The fact that it was based on the first game, yet featured Pyramid Head (along with his gigantic knife) from SH2 was a little dumb. 3) They totally trivialized the Lisa character. She could have just as well been cut altogether. 4) You know, that’s about it.

One last thing that doesn’t really need mentioning is something that would have scored huge points with me: if they had used the joke ending from the game. Everybody who hadn’t played the game however many times you need to get that ending would be stupified and angry, but I would have loved it. I’m pretty sure anyone else who has earned that ending would agree with me. Here’s hoping they use the SH2 joke ending in the likely sequel. All hail the Dog!

They bought and sold you

It’ll still be a couple days before I try to get back into the swing of things, but I figured that in the meantime, I’d distract you with a little blog rambling. To tell the truth though, I’ve got nothing. Nope, nothing to say. Nothing new anyway. Well, I did find the soundtracks for Baten Kaitos 1 and 2 on eBay about half an hour ago, and it’s taking every ounce of willpower in my body (and then some) to keep from blowing my hosting money on them and having to wait another eight days for new hosting funds to transfer over.

They’ve begun posting weekly videos over at the New Super Mario Bros site. So if you’re interested in that, then you might want to click my little link there.

I’m going to see Silent Hill tonight. As a gigantic fan of the games, I’ll have a very biased blog review tomorrow, assuming nothing gets in my way.

For the Tetris lover in all of us.

I’m a little surprised at how much people seem to hate the PSP. I’m starting to feel bad for the little guy. Did I really just type that?

Lastly, I feel the need to mention that Planet MegaMan is back up after what seems like forever. It’s still slowly recovering piece-by-piece, but it certainly looks spiffy.

TE Top 10: Worst Things to be Reincarnated As

I was on my way out of the crapper the other day – which is where all geniuses come up with their best ideas – and a random thought came to my head. What kind of things would I dislike to be reincarnated as? Personally, I’m a Catholic so I don’t believe in reincarnation, but there’s been a lot of examination of Eastern religions in my history classes, so I’m being exposed to the idea a lot more than usual. Generally, the idea is accompanied by the karma system. If you’ve never heard of it, karma is basically brownie points for your next life. You do good stuff, you get good karma. Do bad shit, and it’s into the bad karma you go. When you die, the quality of your next life is directly proportional to your amount of karma. This quality of life is decided by what you get turned into. Since many Eastern and Native American religions believe that everything in existence is alive and has a spirit/soul, you could theoretically be reincarnated as anything.

Now I’m a pretty good person, so if all this stuff is how it really goes down, I’ve got faith that I’ll have an acceptable next life. However, at the time, I was pondering the things that I would least like to come back as. Turns out there are lots of things I’d never want to be, so I narrowed it down to a short list of ten. I’ve got some pretty good reasons for most of them, even if they only sound like good reasons to me.

~The Nintendo 64 Dynamic Drive~

Some would call it a failure. Some would be right. But you know, it’s not really the DD’s fault. I did a little research, and as far as I can tell, it only really failed because the N64 was on its deathbed, and distributors didn’t want to bother trying to hock the thing. So it was only available through mail-order. The thing sounded like it had potential (much like the SNES Satellaview thingy), but was released way to late to see the world of success. So if I think the thing had potential, why wouldn’t I want to be it? Because it had potential. Not making sense? Let’s put it this way: I wouldn’t want to be something that could be awesome, but failed miserably because my success was in someone else’s hands. No thank you. I’ve had enough shattered dreams in this life.

~United States President George W. Bush~

Do I really have to explain this one? I know there are more people who like him than hate him (unless the polls are rigged), in his country at least, but I’d still have to take that kind of criticizm. Heck, while we’re at it, I wouldn’t want to be any celebrity. As much as I’ve fantasized about being famous, I’d hate to be under the public eye all the time. I’d hate to have every person in the world judging every single thing I do, exploiting every mistake I make, tuned into every facet of my life. That, and I could never bear the responsibility of being in charge of a whole country. I’m barely qualified to be in charge of doing the dishes. But then again, neither is he.

~The Nokia N-Gage~

Seriously, does anyone like this thing? Because I’ve never heard of one. Not personally anyway. Hearsay isn’t exactly the most credible source around. Even with the N-Gage QD redesign or whatever it is, the thing is stupid. For one, the screen is vertical. Maybe for the phone half, but not for games. Next off, are there any games for it? What, Tomb Raider and some racing game? Yeah. Killer library. If you need some kind of do-it-all gadget, get a PSP. Sure it’s got no phone, but at the very least you can load it with SNES and GameBoy ROMs. And it does have a couple good games of its own. I guess.

~Badass Internet Hero Maddox~


Don’t read into this too quickly. I’m a huge fan of Maddox. I won’t follow his words blindly like some, but I do enjoy his work. The satire is always razor-sharp and he does an excellent job of making fun of two-bit hacks like me. So why wouldn’t I want to be him? For one, he lives in friggin’ Salt Lake City. Eeeew, Utah. Nextly, because of his notoriety, he probably get the most hate mail ever. And finally, he updates maybe once a month, and the fan mail demanding new content is apparently pretty bad. Since I update like once every billion years, I imagine that it would be infintely worse for me. I wouldn’t really hate being Maddox, I just don’t think I’d be able to keep up with the reputation.

~My computer~


The machine itself has got the parts of a winner. A third-placer at least. But with God as my witness, no piece of technology has ever has as many issues as my computer. That thing is the physical manifestation of… something really unreliable and prone to breaking. To be fair, all the electronics in my house seem to be under some horrible curse, but my computer takes as much for the team as he can. Or maybe it just really pissed off some evil spirits. I can’t explain it, but the thing has spent more time being repaired and getting operating systems reinstalled than it has being in working condition. It’s a pity, really. Pity, pity, pity….

~The Catman – Peter Criss~


A hero of mine once said it best:

“Nobody wants to be Peter Criss, not even Peter Criss.”

~A goldfish~


My life is pretty routine. I wake up, eat, go to school/play video games, eat, play video games, eat, internet, eat, and sleep. But for fark’s sake, I could not just swim in circles all day. After two days I’d be begging for my owner to overfeed me so I could meet my tasty demise before I went insane. You may think the whole “goldfish only have a memory of a few seconds” thing might have something to do with it, but they proved that was false on Mythbusters a long time ago. One cool thing I learned while looking up… stuff… is that goldfish are actually a mutation of carp. The more you know!

~Toilet paper~


Come on. Really? You need me to explain this? A comic once pondered if toilet paper feels lucky when it gets used as a hankie. Do you really have to wonder about it? In the end (no pun intended), the only half-decent outcome for a piece of toilet paper is to be used as bandages for a low-budget mummy.

~Underpants. Specifically, men’s underpants~


Like it says, I would hate to be underpants. Men’s or women’s, I don’t care. Sure, every straight, red-blooded man has at one time wished to be a hot chick’s underpants, but it can’t possibly be all fun and games. Especially on days when she isn’t expecting to… “perform”, if you know what I men. There’s the whole fish business, and I can’t stand fish. Then let’s remember that chicks fart too, and they can’t always wipe it all away after a visit to the ladies’ room. Really, it’s not a place you wanna be in for extended periods of time. And I shouldn’t have to explain why I don’t wanna be a dude’s underpants. Even if I were gay. Think about it. Would you want to be rubbing up against a gross, hairy ass all day? On second thought, don’t think about it.

~Leopold “Butters” Stotch~


Yeah, Butters is my favourite character on South Park, but there’s no way in Hell I would ever want to be him. Butters is the biggest patsy in the history of comedy. Or anything for that matter. Butters has the luck of… well, he’s got even worse luck than me. Even I manage to catch a lucky break every now and again, but poor Butters always get the short end of the stick. You can’t help but feel sorry for the little guy, for as many bad things happen to him, he’s always just trying to help out or be a good friend. Whatever he did to deserve such a fate, we may never know, but what I do know is that I want to have no part in it.

And that’s the list. As you can tell, I went through the trouble of thinking out of the box a little. Yeah, any old idiot could say that they don’t want to be reincarnated as a pooper scooper, but it takes a little more effort to come up with a list like mine, and with half-decent reasons to not want to be those things. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that until you come up with your own list, I’m better than you.