Category: Video Games

Bugged out: Act 3

Twice now, my PC has fucked up while I’ve been typing out this post. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it, because the error screen is French techno-babble. I barely understand English techno-babble. So here’s the contents of today’s post, summed up very concisely because I’m annoyed at typing it for the third time.

-No article yet. New one this week sometime.

–Thing Feet

-See Alfie

-I’m pissed cause nobody’s got this yet. Release was the 16th. Get cracking, assholes.

-Nedstat says people still find me from Google. Score.

-Steven of The Sneeze just sold burnt popcorn for about $43 US.

–Musashi pwnz j00.

Everything is super when you’re gay

But I don’t have a homosexual bone in my body, so everything is most definitely not super. The worst thing ever happened today. They hired a new storefront guy. Being the only man who worked storefront was my thing, and now it’s gone. Now I have nothing. I haven’t met the guy yet, but I don’t like him already. He’s going to seriously cramp my style. Everyone knew I loved being the only guy on storefront. I made it clear more than once. I guess now I’m going to have to be more sociable with my girls if I’m to stop him from getting all my attention.

On the upside, I cracked up pretty much the whole store with my antics today. And would you guess which one single person didn’t bear witness to my hilarity? But it’s always worked out that way for me. No matter what the situation, it always turns out that the party I’m out to impress or entertain either doesn’t care or doesn’t notice.

Final note for today, I finished Silent Hill 3, and boy did it get effed up fast once you actually get to Silent Hill. I’m just dying waiting for tomorrow evening so I can start SH4. The intro scares the crap out of me, so the game itself has gotta be awesome, right?

Prolonged dumpage

This one here’s kind of a follow-up to yesterday’s post. Some continuation, some new thoughts, it’s all good. Unless you have no interest at all in what I think about.

I was out all day, and again took the liberty of playing my DS all over the place. Today I attracted the attention of no less than three people, and on a broad range of ages too. I’m starting to feel like the Nintendo DS version of that dude from the Wendy’s commercials. I’mma have to get out more, and make sure I get selling those DS units. Maybe somewhere along the way, I’ll find a friend who will play with me. Maybe I’ll be able to beat a human opponent at Madden. Oh yeah, I bought that. I have to say, I made the right decision. Not only does it interest more casual gamers, but I’m quite enjoying it as well. I really needed something different, and football has answered my call.

My next article will not be so much an article, but something akin to this, should I ever figure out how to do it. After looking at the source, I could probably put it together, but it’ll take a long damn time. Possibly all week, or longer, depending on how ambitious I feel. Or maybe I’ll just rush it and not mind it looking like crap. And that’s all you’re getting for now.

I also picked up The Urbz for DS, under my brother’s counsel. He was right. I really like the game. The only problem is that it uses both the face buttons and the touch screen, so you either fumble between stylus and thumb or just use your finger on the touch screen. The game doesn’t really call for extremely precise pointing, so the latter is acceptable, but after being stylus-trained by WarioWare and Feel the Magic, it feels kind of odd not to use it. Anyhow, it’s a really good game. I’m kind of upset I didn’t know this earlier.

I finally found a Tesla CD! Thank you, Music World! I mean, it’s the newest one, which is excellent, but I really wanted The Great Radio Controversy. Still no show from Firehouse though. I did pick up Foreigner’s The Very Best and Beyond, which is also great, so I’m not too disappointed.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance is no longer available anywhere. I’ve looked through around six electronics stores, three gaming stores and two trade-in stores, but nothing. I’ve found Sons of Liberty, and even The Document of Metal Gear Solid 2, but no Substance. So here’s the deal. You find it anywhere, you pick it up and bring it and the recepit to me. I’ll pay you the cost, plus a $15 bounty. The same goes for the Evil Dead 2 DVD. I’ve found Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, but no Evil Dead 2. Maybe I’ll put up a bounty chart of things I want but cannot find, and cannot be arsed to buy online.

I found the first season Corner Gas DVD today. I can’t recall exactly why I didn’t buy it on sight. As I said yesterday, I love the show. Possibly even more than Futurama, and I have all the Futurama DVD sets. Mmm, I love material posessions.

I can’t eat 40 timbits without getting sick. I’m a sham of a man.

The problem with me constantly buying CDs (aside from the rapidly depleting storage space) is that I’m never going to get around to doing that article on my CD colleciton. Maybe it’ll have to go under the pseudo-articles and be updated as new discs come and (God forbid) go.

That’s all for today. I’ll try not to bog down the blog with so much impertinent information during the next week. I’ve got the weekend off, so I’ll be making sure I devote (at least) Saturday to article production. That is, if I’m not too wrapped up in Samurai Legend Musashi. Two days, baby.

Taking a mind dump. Excuse the odor

The coolest thing happened to me yesterday. So I’m at Subway, right. I’m done eating, so as would be the natural thing for me, I pull out my DS and get my game on. And then all of a sudden, this dude sits down across from me and starts asking stuff about it, and going on about how he finds it so amazing. I found it cool, because I don’t know a single person who is interested in the DS (nobody I know can handle its pure awesomeness), and it was nice to for once have a little chat about it. Just thought I’d bring it up.

My bro’s hockey team got creamed 8-4 last night. They started off real strong, with two goals in the first five minutes, but then it just went downhill. It was pretty bad, but the defencemen were really slacking. Can’t say he was having the best game of his life either, though. But then again, guess letting in eight out of like seventy billion shots isn’t so bad.

Three days until Musashi!

Following GDC 2005, we’ve got some things to look forward to on the Nintendo front. Seems the Revolution is gonna be some hardcore online business, and Gamecube backwards-compatible. PGC has a bunch of info, so check that out if you’re interested. Again, I’d like to bring up the new Zelda. There’s a poster of it in the Minish Cap player’s guide, so I’m thinking maybe I’mma buy that. What can I say? I need a Zelda poster.

I’m also considering getting Madden 2005 for the DS. Any time ago, this thought would never have even crossed my mind, but for reasons I cannot properly put into words, I want to own some sort of sports game, and there aren’t any hockey games for the DS yet. It’s Madden or Tiger Woods, and I don’t like the way Tiger is pointing at me so condescendingly.

How is it that I’ve gone 18 years without ever listening to Duran Duran? I can’t imagine how such a good band has gone under my radar until just recently.

iMesh 5 is pretty. Probably coated in spyware (they claim to be clean, but…), but my God is it pretty. And efficient. At least 76 times moreso than the last version. Say what you will about the spyware issue, I still like iMesh. I’ve got plenty of cleaning utilities.

I added a little hit stats dealie down on the sidebar. Click it for more info.

Is it wrong to try to win over a girl who’s currently seeing someone by pretending to be much more awesome than you are? (Not like it gets much more awesome than me) We’re still cool, even after the incident, but I’m thinking maybe I should cool the engines for a while. TV has tought me differently, so I’m not sure what the proper protocol is for this situation. Advice is appreciated.

Why is it that not a single store around here carries either Firehouse or Tesla? Best Buy and Future Shop I can see, but HMV? Come on! I guess I’ll be having to make that dreaded venture downtown if I hope to secure any music from either of these awesome bands. I hate downtown.

Speaking of Firehouse, they’re pretty much kicking ass on the ol’ AudioScrobbler list. You should totally sign up for an account there, even if you never use the thing, just so I can add more people to my friends list. And it’s just a neat little thing to have.

Is there a Corner Gas DVD? Amazon says no. Dammit. That’s an awesome show. If you don’t watch it, you so very totally should. I can’t stress enough how hilarious it is. Best show I’ve watched in years. Upon further investigation, the official website says yes. Flippin’ sweet.

Back to good

I probably won’t have an article up this week. I’ve been doing a lot of gaming and being out these past nights (which has been a nice change from the sitting in front of the PC all night I had been doing for the past few weeks), and I’ve finally fully recovered from that horrible bout with emotion I was having. It’s nice to have the old me back. Now on to why I’m making this post. I have three very important orders of business.

1. NEW ZELDA TRAILER! Here’s the link. Prepare your drool buckets, nerds, this is the greatest thing ever.

2. MUSASHI! Yep. Only five days until Samurai Legend Musashi comes out. I loved the first one, and from what little info I’ve gleaned from the site, the sequel looks to be kick ass. I know I usually don’t have many words of praise for samurai, but Brave Fencer Musashi is my second favorite Playstation game ever. The first being Final Fantasy Tactics.

3. BROKEN! It seems that old Edwin’s site is brokies at the moment. Oh, wait. Stroat. Stroat’s site. I wasn’t orginally gonna say anything, but he figures maybe some people visit both here and there. It’s possible.

I really want to write more, but I’ve got nothing. I guess it’s back to listening to Beck for me. Alt-rock is sweet.

Starting from zero, got nothing to lose

The February archive is now up. Or, it will be shortly after this post is completed. Maybe I shoulda done that first. Oops.

I’m not sure if I ever mentioned, but I saw Jacob’s Ladder a while back. It seems a bit of an obscure title, and you know how I love the obscure. Truth be told though, I only hunted it down because I heard that the Silent Hill games draw a portion of their creepiness from it. And boy, is it true. Well, it’s not quite as big an influence as I was led to believe, but you can definitely see the similarities. Oh, and it was a pretty good movie as well. Confusing as all Hell until the end (which was a cop-out to boot), but I would certainly recommend it to those who like movies that are out of the ordinary. Oh, and if you didn’t know by the title, you probably wouldn’t pick up on it anyway, but there are lots of biblical references here. Good movie. Wouldn’t buy it, but good movie. It’s really hard to find, but there’s a torrent for it over at Novatina. It’s under “mystery”, but it’s really more of a thriller. Not that I’m championing piracy or anything…

On a related topic, I got Silent Hill 3 and 4 the other day. I’m about halfway through 3 and haven’t even started 4 yet. Such good games, and the only ones I cannot play with the lights off, even with my newfound policy of facing my fears. Creepy stuff. And the best part is that I got ’em for $15 and $25, respectively. I picked up I-Ninja for $10 as well. It’s totally worth $10. this whole “buying preowned games” thing is working out really well for me and my wallet. Three good, slightly used games for less than one new one? Sounds like a killer deal to me. And as an added surprise, SH3 comes with the soundtrack packaged in! I didn’t know that! Ah, material posessions: my one true love.

Oh yeah, and I updated my profile page, for those who care. While I’m at it, I’ll mention that I lost like seven pounds over the last week. This is alarming, because I was in no way trying to lose weight. All these people on TV working so hard to drop the fat, and then I come along and start losing it without even trying. Ah irony, thou art a snide bastard indeed.

Exhibiting uncharacteristic behaviour

I really don’t have much to say today. I watched those charming Don Hertzfeldt cartoons again today. If you’ve never seen ’em, or just haven’t watched in a while, I recommend doing so. Sometimes making no sense is the best way to go about it.

I’m totally making a “silly hats only” sign for my room. Oh, and if you don’t have them immediately available, the media archive at GorillaMask has them all. I’d host them for you myself, but you know, the no webspace thing.

As a bit of a follow-up, I got the full version of MegaMan X8. After the atrocity that was X7, it’s really nice to see that X8 turned out to be excellent in every respect. It’s rather tough, the graphics are great (the cutscene style is beautiful), the sound is awesome, and it’s much more fun than its predecessor. All this, and there are unlockable things! Like characters! And weapons! Most amazing of all is the fact that after inputting a code, you can face off against an 8-bit CutMan! They even remixed the old boss theme. It’s absolutely hilarious, and it’s just in there because some Capcom dude thought it would be fun. You get nothing for finding it, and it lasts all of maybe 10 seconds. I love it. I’d take a screenshot, but hooking the PS2 up to the PC is a rather complicated production, and you know how I am about doing stuff. After all the Battle Network E-Card bullshit, this game has restored all of my faith in Capcom.

EDIT: I was in the neighborhood, and, well, here’s your damn picture. It’s tiny though.

I can see her in my head

The other day, Gabe from Penny-Arcade stated that “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman is the best song ever written. I’d like to point out while that it is an excellent contender for the title, I have to disagree that it takes the top spot. The greatest song ever is Duran Duran’s cover of “White Lines” (original by Grandmaster Flash). It’s an awesome song that is this prefect mix of rock, rap, techno, and even a litle dance. Also noteworthy is Kansas’ “Perfect Lover”, if only because it’s about a guy who’s in love with am imaginary girl, a scenario I know all too well.

So It’s Friday. You know what usually happens a couple days after Friday? That’s right. A new Steve article. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. This one is the most anticipated Steve article of all time. Well, in the little circle here, anyway. Ouside readers have no idea what I’m going on about. So that’s up.

Oh, and there’s finally a game that makes me truly consider buying a PS2. Follow the link to see more.

I’ve got nothing else. Go download all the songs I mentioned above. They’re all great. Rangdangdiggitydangdadang.

Drat. They were just contacts

But if you wanna see something that is just as beautiful and just as blue, but not quite so artificial, click on this link here. I’d have just posted the pic, but my sentence plays out better as a link.

In related news, I’ve got no balls. Testicles, yes, but the ballage is at a bare minimum at best. I only mention this because I’m that ashamed of myself. As I once said, “You can’t get pussy if you are a pussy.” I think I was talking about myself then too. I don’t deserve my pimp name. (But I’mma keep it anyway).

So getting away from that paragraph I can’t believe I’m going to let stay, I’m pissed at Capcom again. Remember when I told you about the Rockman.EXE 5 Forte Cross deal? If not, you’ll get really lost here, but anyhow, my story goes on. So the only way so far to get the valuable card that unlocks the Forte Cross ability, is to go to the Rockman.EXE movie. I mean, it doesn’t matter much to me, cause by the time the game gets here they’ll have gutted it of any E-Reader compatibility, but I still hate when you can only get stuff by promotional offers! This is why I loathe Nintendo’s “You can only get the uber-rare Pokemon from promotional deals that only take place in New freaking York” bullcrap. Everything to be unlocked in video games should be unlocked by skill and the amount of time you invest in the game, not by stupid promotions. You should have access to all of the game, including the really cool stuff. You paid for the thing, you deserve to be able to play 100% of it. Sure, it’s a great money-making scheme for them, but I’m sure it’s turned away at least one player for every $100 it makes.

Lastly, StarFox: Assault kicks ass. I’d like to say more, but this one is definitely article material. After I get some more multiplayer time in, I’ll have that up for you. And the new Wario Ware game is getting one too. My plan is to review every Wario Ware game that comes out, so that guarantees at least two more. Woo hoo. Shit, I was supposed to keep that a secret. Crap.

Oh, and I fixed the broken Steve article of two weeks ago. I might have done so earlier, but nobody frickin’ tells me these things! When you see a big problem like that, send me a goddamn E-mail! Yeah, so now the asshole article is actually there, and not simply a copy of the vegetable article.

Much apost about nothing

Well, I’ve got nothing to do at the moment, and I really don’t know why I’m posting. I’ve got nothing overly important to say, and I’ve no new junk to review. I could review old junk, but bah to that. Too much work. Oh, I did the coolest thing at work yesterday, and I’ll tell you more of it as soon as I can recapture the magic in picture form. While I’m on the topic of work, I’ve been applying for jobs at other places, so if I’m lucky, I won’t be working at Timmy’s much longer (“Roll up the Rim” season is just around the corner).

I guess it there’s anything to talk about, it’s Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. I rented it, and wasn’t overly impressed. The dudes at Penny Arcade whined about how Prince is no longer the great charcter he once was, and I was surprised that they do actually explain the reasons for change in the manual. Nevertheless, his new persona is much less likeable than before. -2 points. The game is now more heavily based on fighting, and it’s damn hard too. It was nice and simple in The Sands of Time, and while the new system is nice, I wish it were more centered around the swinging and jumping stuff. -1 point. The bosses I’ve faced so far have been really dull block-fests. It’s just block, block, block, and hope maybe there’s an opening here or there. -3 points. The soundtrack is all hard rock/metal, and while I like it, it doesn’t go from the arabic ambiance to battle rock. It’s just always shoveling metal into your ears. -1 point. The nice thing is that there are plenty of secrets to be found, and some hilarious secondary weapons, like a hockey stick and a plastic flamingo. +2 points. I can’t be certain, but I think the graphics actually got worse… No points awarded/lost. Overall, it’s a solid game, but you’ll probably want to go with The Sands of Time if you’re only gonna get one. At least the story is pretty cool and fits in well with that of the first.

Oh yes, and I finished Resident Evil 4 a while ago. Twice, in fact. And pretty far in my third game. The final chapters are very Resident Evil, contrary to some people’s complaints about the game. You know who you are. Not to mention it implies (as explicitly as possible) that RE5 will be along eventually. And the credits scene is really cinematic. When it was over, I got up and for a moment, thought I was leaving a movie theater. The unlockable bonuses are awesome. The mini-game Assignment Ada is cool, though a bit too easy. The Mercenaries, however, provides a great challenge and the opportunity to play as several different chracters, including the mysterious HUNK and long-time villain Albert Wesker. It’s all great fun and adds much to the replay value of the game, which is already unfathomably high.

Pretty good for a post that wasn’t premeditated at all. I guess the next time I’mma gonna post will be around the 15th or so, when I pick up the new Wario Ware game and possibly StarFox: Assault. Until then, here’s the SF:Assault soundtrack, in download form!

ADDENDUM- Oh yes, I forgot to tell youse (though some may already know) that the Mists of Avalon Online forum is now all prettied up. It’s got a starry background. …Yeesh. I usually don’t promote other people’s stuff so often… (at least not those who don’t have a widely known web presence)

And I found this thing out on the net and was sufficiently charmed by it, and couldn’t resist putting it on my own site. Don’t act like you aren’t charmed by it too.