Category: /b/

Don’t get your hopes up

Sometimes I like to pop random words into my search bar and then read whatever posts come up. That’s when I realized that I had not typed the word “penis” into any posts so far during 2016, and I felt like that needed to be remedied. So I wrote this post. A post what has the word “penis” in it. Twice, now.

I hope you have all enjoyed this attempt at humour.

And if you’re me, from the future, searching for posts with the word “penis” in them… Dude, you should probably get back to work. Oh, but read this one first. It made me laugh pretty hard today. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, too.

Pronounceration

When I was a dumb little kid, I used to think that the word ‘scenario’ was pronounced ‘scenarino’ (like, scene-a-rino). Undoubtedly, it’s more fun to say that way. But it is wrong. Fortunately, I don’t recall ever saying it out loud and being corrected. I probably just figured it out on my own as I got older and less stupid.

That’s a thing that just popped into my head this morning as I was getting dressed. Figured I’d share it. It’s not a very interesting story.

Still going on about that

It’s hard to think that there was a short period of time where I used to use Microsoft FrontPage to update my website. I wonder how long that lasted. I’ve been working with the WordPress editor for what feels like forever now, but I only remember ever writing in Notepad.

I think that if we’ve learned anything this week, it’s that 2004 was a really wacky year for me.

A different kind of Easter egg

Sometimes I do irresponsible things.

My time working at Toys R Us was full of them, some more innocuous than others.

My job required me to carry around a pen and paper at all times, because I would have to take notes at a moment’s notice. As an “artist” of some description, I have an insatiable urge to doodle whenever any sort of drawing tools are nearby.

So, over the three years I worked there, I left many a doodle behind. On walls, on wooden boards, sometimes even on papers! All in the storeroom, of course. It would be really irresponsible to be defacing parts of the store that a customer might see.

Admittedly, sometimes I did find myself doodling on product boxes. Only the bike boxes, though, which were just plain brown with packing labels stuck to them. They were so boring.

I never drew anything obscene, of course. Just little goofy faces and the like. Something that might make a person smile when they found it.

Alright, fine. I drew penises on occasion. But only in dust!

The merits of loneliness

Living alone is pretty great. I can make myself a giant plate of spicy potato wedges and broccoli for dinner, and then eat it in bed while watching Adventure Time. And nobody’s going to give me crap for it.

Not that the Ex would have complained about any part of that besides the spiciness of the wedges. But I’m trying to feel empowered here. Stop poking holes, me!